Billboard on Times Square!!!

What a day, what a day, what a day!

Happy Tuesday, guys.

I'm gonna jump right into it because I want to pack so much into this episode.

The 30 minutes that we have, as you guys know, I love my episodes short and sweet, unlike my sex, of course.

But I think it's 30 minutes is just enough for you to do a workout, a quick drive to dinner.

So, let's just go.

I woke up this morning

and I saw that my billboard was up on Times Square.

I knew it was coming.

I wasn't sure of the day.

And I got so excited, and I even got a little emotional because

these are things that when you talk about,

you can imagine it, but when you actually see it happening, it's kind of like a dream come true.

And this podcast is so special to me.

It's been a pet project.

It started doing during the pandemic.

And now that I feel that it's finally growing a little bit, I have this dear audience, a bunch of people that listen to all my episodes or almost all my episodes.

It makes me so happy, it makes me feel like I'm doing something that everybody wants to listen, to participate, to talk about.

So, thank you so, so much, Edge Sports.

They are an amazing, incredible, up-and-coming sports brand.

They have been so supportive of me and my work.

And we always joke, well, dating apparently is a sport,

it's a contact sport, and I have no idea how to play it.

I'm actually learning as I go along.

I am learning so much as I do the podcast episodes with you guys, and learning so much from the guests that I bring here.

So, it's been incredibly fun.

Thank you, Spotify, for being so supportive, Apple Podcasts, and all the other platforms that carry cat on the loose.

So,

when I, you know, it's hard to talk about certain things, but I decided right in the beginning when I started doing season one, that I was going to do this super organically, very real, and very raw.

Because, me, like

a lot of you out there, is so sick of all the phony crap on social media, on dating apps, on TV, everywhere.

It seems that these days it's all about filters and lies and oh, I'm not this person, I'm that person.

And it is honestly just exhausting to me.

So I started putting my life out there.

And if you guys never listened to season one, I highly recommend it because they're really the most fun in terms of being so real.

Because I started telling each episode was one crazy story of some man or some relationship or some situationship that I got tangled up with.

And I realized now on season three, so a year and a half after I started the podcast, I realized that I was always following a pattern of men.

So this is the thing.

I'm getting completely naked here.

And not in the sense that you think not naked, taking my clothes off.

I'm getting naked emotionally.

There are certain things that I hardly ever talk about

because A, I used to think that it was embarrassing and b because

i felt it was better to just hide the dirt under a carpet like a lot of us do but the story is and i think only the closest people to me know i was married for 14 years

to a guy who was a gazillionaire he was very very successful and i loved him to pieces.

I adored him.

He was my best friend.

And I know he loved me very much.

And there were some amazing incredible qualities about him

but he was an alcoholic and the more money he made the more he drank and of course as the years went by it became a very serious disease at the time I didn't even know a lot about alcoholism and he ended up dying in 2018.

I'm actually just finishing to write a book about it that has been taking me all of these years because when you're talking about your your own life, when you're talking about your own experiences, it's not something you're creating.

It's, and I think a lot of you will agree with me, it's very raw and it is very emotional.

And as I was writing the book, I would get so emotional so many times that I actually literally had to stop and cry and take a break.

But it's finally done.

I'm just correcting a few things, and I am actually really, really happy to be able to tell his story because he was a wonderful man.

So, anyways, he was an alcoholic and

he was verbally abusive.

I mean, extremely verbally abusive to me and sometimes physically abusive.

And throughout my entire marriage, I never ever, ever talked to anyone about it.

My mom, who passed away a year before he did, actually saw a couple of times when he was physically aggressive towards me, but that's how crazy the situation was.

Even she didn't want to rock the boat, she didn't want to rock my marriage.

She thought, well, she's married to this guy who gives her like the life of a princess.

He has so much money, you know, maybe we shouldn't even talk about it.

Obviously, looking back, I think it's insane.

I think I should have talked about it, and my mom as a mom should have talked about it, but it didn't happen.

So, for the longest time that I was married to him, I was just keeping all of these things in silence.

I never even went to a psychiatrist.

I never even went to a psychologist.

I never did therapy.

My best friend, Ellie, who has been my friend for 30 years and knew him very, very well and is actually helping me finalize this book, was the same thing.

She would see me.

being verbally assaulted when he was too drunk, but she saw me there.

And like, now we talk about it, and she says, Well, you know, when you're looking from the outside, in we are almost not even sure what is appropriate and what is not appropriate.

Now,

I can tell you guys, 20 years later, after he died, after going through so many bad relationships or situationships or dates after him,

this is one thing that I learned for sure

doing this podcast:

abuse is never, ever okay in any way, shape, or form.

And why am I telling you guys that?

Because I, to this day, I have friends, I know people, I get messages from women that are in abusive relationships, and they look at me and they write to me and they say, well, but he just calls me an asshole.

He calls me a stupid, he calls me a moron.

And the next day he apologizes.

And it's exactly the same thing that used to happen to me.

When my husband was upset, he would call me the most horrible, horrible names in the book.

He would call me fucking asshole, piece of shit, fucking horror.

I mean, you name it, and you guys are going to read it in detail in the book.

I even started writing a diary because every time that happened, I felt physically bitten.

It was so painful.

It was so painful.

It made me feel so tiny and so small small to be called names that I used to go back to my room and I felt literally like somebody had hit me physically.

So I started writing about it, writing all the words he called me, writing all the episodes.

And I am going to publish.

all of these things in the book not to tarnish his image i'm not even using his name because there are a lot of good things about him but because i am hoping that if you are out there and your boyfriend your husband, your date, anybody that you are with disrespects you in any way, I want you to know that A, it's never, never okay.

Even if the person comes back and says, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

I sorry I called you a nasty piece of shit, stupid whore.

Believe me, they will do it again.

When somebody is abusive, and I'm talking about adults here, and I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a doctor, but I'm telling you from experience: adults, 99.9% of the time, will not change their behavior towards you.

And number two, that I want to say, many, many, many people like myself stay in a relationship, in an abusive relationship for a very long time, not only because they think the person is going to change, but because they're afraid of being alone.

They're afraid of facing life life alone.

A lot of us think we need to be validated by being in a relationship.

And I was one of them.

And I got to tell you guys, I needed to go through so many bad relationships to get to the point that I am now.

And I'm telling you, if you read, if you listen to my podcast, first season, you listen to the story.

of the Dr.

McDreamy that I ended up working with him and he ended up firing me and stopped paying me in the middle of a three-year contract.

And right when the pandemic started, he left me all alone, high and dry, without a paycheck, because he decided he could treat me like that.

Then I was dating a guy, and the story is all there, Min Hoko.

I thought, oh my God, this is it.

He's the love of my life.

We were dating for a year and a half.

I got along with his kids.

He had stuff at my place.

I had stuff at his place.

We spent a year in a month in Aspen for Christmas and New Year.

We were talking about moving in together.

When you were doing all of these things, it's like building a house, right?

You think, oh, wow, I am building something beautiful with this person.

And then it turned out that it was all a house of sand.

It was all lies.

He was also dating someone else for the last few months, living a parallel life.

And I found out in the worst possible way, which was on my birthday.

And now I laugh about it.

I kind of joked about it on the podcast because I like to make light of every situation.

But of course, when it happened, I was heartbroken.

I was so sad.

I was devastated.

And I mean, there are so many stories like that.

And there was another one that I swear to God, I had forgotten completely about it.

I never did an episode about it.

And it's probably the most disgusting of them all.

Right around the time my husband was dying and he was really sick in the hospital.

I was of course in no position of judging people,

of dating anyone.

But anyhow, I met a doctor, a very successful doctor with offices, a bunch of clinics in Brazil.

And he had an apartment here in Miami.

So he would go back and forth, back and forth.

So we met.

I used to live at the Four Seasons.

He went there for drinks and wine.

After like a couple dates, we had incredible sex.

And basically, cutting the story super short, he got completely into my life, meaning this was pre-COVID.

So there were a lot of events around town.

So he would go with me to all of these events.

We attended a gala, which is the biggest, most famous gala here in Miami that I've always helped, that I always loved.

It's a cause that I love supporting, which is the Hearts and Star Gala.

And I invited a group of friends because I had a VIP table there.

And this was like 2019, just before COVID.

And I invited a group of friends, and I invited him.

He brought his best friend, so we were like a group of 10 people, and there were tons of media there.

We were photographed together, we posted on Facebook.

Basically, again, we were getting things going.

I'm thinking, wow, I can't believe I met this super nice guy.

After the gala, after a bunch of dates, after a bunch of events, one day out of the blue, I thought he was acting a little weird.

And he tells me that the truth was he had a very serious girlfriend in Brazil for years.

Not a girl that he was dating for a couple months like me.

He was in a very, very serious relationship down in Brazil.

And I'm like, what?

And he said, yeah.

You were supposed to be just a fling, but I liked you so much and our sex is so great.

But he wasn't supposed to get, you know, this intense, da-da-da.

And by the way, she's arriving tomorrow.

And I was like, what?

Are you freaking serious?

We were all over town together.

And you're telling me that this woman that you're dating for is, are you, I mean, my head was spinning.

And he said, yeah, by the way, she's coming tomorrow.

And if you see her with me around town,

I don't want you to say anything, make believe I don't exist.

Don't even look at me.

My first reaction was like, oh my God, you are such a pig.

This girl deserves to know what you're doing.

I think there is nothing more disgusting than living a double life and lying to people.

There is, it's different than like a cheating.

Oh my God, I was drunk or I went on vacation and I did something.

But literally leading two women on, like two relationships in two different places and one cannot know about the other, I think it's just like absolutely disgusting and unethical.

Everything

awful about it.

So when I said that, she said, oh my God, this girl needs to know who you are.

You're such a freaking pig.

You went all over town with me.

He sends me a message.

And he's like, he sends me a video.

Of course, when you're intimate with somebody, I'm not embarrassed to say that at all.

And I think a lot of you girls and guys probably do that.

One night I was home alone and I send him like a 15 second whatever video of me masturbating with a vibrator

and so he sends me this video on whatsapp and i still have it here on my phone and he was like well i tell you what if you cross our path here in miami and you even say hi to me or try to talk to my girlfriend from brazil i will make sure this video goes on the internet and remember your face is on it Well, obviously he said that to the wrong person because I do not like to be blackmailed.

I have been blackmailed before.

I don't react well to threats.

I think it's one of the most disgusting things you can do to anyone.

So I basically said to him, go ahead.

Seriously, go ahead if you want to publish that.

I will say whatever I want to whoever I want, when I want it, if I want it.

This is a free country.

But hey, you want to do that?

It's a cybercrime.

You think you're going to embarrass me?

Guess what?

You're not.

Because I will go on my social media and I will tell everybody, yes, it was me.

I really liked this guy.

You guys know exactly who he is because we are all over social media, all over the internet.

Our picture is everywhere.

And I am going to own it because as a woman, I'm not embarrassed to say that I did a video to a guy that I was dating.

And I don't think that's a big deal.

And so he backed away.

So I called my lawyer and I told my what was going on.

My lawyer sent him a seized disease.

Sure enough, two days later, I was at an event at the Miami Open.

And, you know, it's Murphy's law.

He walks right in front of me with the other girl.

And I looked at my friend and I said, you know what?

I'm not even going to say anything.

I feel so sorry for this woman, but hopefully life will show her who her long-term boyfriend is.

I don't want to be any part of this dirt.

And I moved on with my life.

And then six months later, just before COVID hit, He sends me a message.

I used to have an office on Brickle.

And he said, oh, can I come upstairs to your office to see you?

And I said, Sure.

I guess I knew he was going to try to apologize.

And I think I wanted the apology.

So he came upstairs, he sat in my office, and he said, Yeah, I'm sorry.

I think I was really nasty, and you didn't deserve it.

And I apologize, and you are a really nice person.

I said, Thank you.

I accept your apology.

Goodbye.

And I never saw him again.

I completely, completely forgot about this story of the asshole doctor from Brazil.

Until this week, I was looking through my Instagram, who likes it, who is following that, which is something I hardly ever do because I don't have time.

And I saw that he liked a bunch of my photos.

And I was like, oh my God, I remember this guy.

He's still a pig, obviously.

I don't care if he's still dating the girl or not, but I guess the message I'm going to send you guys is

after being in an abusive marriage for 14 years, without noticing, I was always getting tangled up with men that were one way or another being abusive to me, being rude, being disrespectful, being unavailable.

And it was a pattern I used to think that it was okay to be treated like that.

During COVID last year, it's one of the most crazy and kind of funny and super outrageous stories on the podcast.

It's the Formula One driver that turned into Incredible Hulk.

I started dating this guy.

He was a friend of a couple of very good friends of mine, my neighbors.

And basically when COVID hit and they shut down the country, he used to live in Orlando.

He practically, he moved in practically into my apartment.

He was staying there day and night, night and day, day and night, and day.

He's smoking pot and we're having great sex and I'm cooking and I'm buying wine and I'm buying food and this guy's there.

And when we we were not having sex or watching a movie or something, this guy was treating me like absolute shit,

calling me dumb, calling me an idiot, calling me stupid.

In my house, that's the crazy thing.

He was staying at my place where I pay the bills.

He didn't contribute to $5

for

whatever, a gallon of milk, nothing.

and he was criticizing me that i use too much paper towel that i don't know how to educate my dog that my dog is too spoiled that i don't know how to dry the countertop well that i don't know how to do this and i don't know how to do that am i fucking stupid am i an idiot am i a moron he criticized my hair he criticized we went downstairs to the backyard to see our neighbors and everything and he tells in front of my neighbors yeah she needs to fix this fucking hair, and I hate the hair extensions.

Fuck this shit.

So, I mean, this guy was being so insanely abusive.

And why am I telling you guys this all of the stories now?

Because I guess

I think we always need to learn something from what happened to us.

And if you are in a relationship and somebody's treating you with any disrespect and you accept it, I highly encourage you to do this exercise that I've been doing and helps me so, so much.

Look at yourself in the mirror, spend a few hours alone

and ask yourself, why do you think you deserve to be treated like that?

And more than that, ask yourself, if I leave this person, why am I afraid to be alone?

I used to be afraid to be alone.

And then I got to tell you, this year after being on a bunch of so good dates, I was dating a guy that I really liked.

It was the first one that I thought, well, we really hit it off.

That's it.

This is the guy that I really want to get to know.

And I thought in my mind it was going well.

And I told you guys the story.

But obviously it wasn't because from seeing each other to having far amazing dates to texting every day many times, he disappeared, disappeared, disappeared.

Okay, after him, I said, you know what?

I'm going to do my man diet, which we've been talking about the past few weeks.

A man diet means I'm going to concentrate on me.

I'm going to spend time with me.

I'm going to love me.

I'm going to work on my projects.

I'm going to work on my work.

I'm going to work on my body.

I'm going to work on my home.

Whatever it is that's important to me.

And now,

this was mid-April, so May, June, July, August.

It's now four months that I'm into this.

And I have to tell you, it's been the most amazing months in forever, if not my entire life.

When you start paying attention to yourself, when you start loving yourself more,

when you start

thinking that you deserve better, you're not going to settle for any idiot that treats you like shit, that you are a princess, that you are the prize, your life will change.

tremendously.

And honestly, I'm not doing this mandai like on purpose.

Oh, I want to do it six months, eight months, ten months.

I am doing it as long as it's making me happy.

And I get, of course, tons of messages from guys through social media, through email, because of the podcast, because of my social media.

Every once in a while, I do look through the dating apps to see what's out there.

And I do talk to a bunch of people, but I have not felt like going on a date with anyone.

And the two...

Guys that I went on dinner dates, two, three guys I went on on dinner dates

I was more like well maybe maybe we should be friends that's it i did not feel like i wanted to date those guys but it's so so important and i'm telling you girls that's why i said get naked the hardest thing the hardest journey you will ever do we will ever do is the journey of being happy alone There is a huge difference between saying, oh, I want to be in a relationship because I want him to compliment my life.

I want to plan a dinner.

I want to plan a vacation.

From saying, I need to be in a relationship.

I desperately need this man.

We don't need anybody.

You need you and your health, good friends, your family, if you're lucky enough to still have your family.

This is what you need.

Things that make you happy.

But a relationship is more like, I want.

I want to have a great, wonderful relationship with somebody that loves me.

The good things, the bad things, the the not so great things, the job, the lifestyle, everything about me.

Like they should love everything about you.

And I

only came to this realization after doing three seasons.

We're almost done with the third season.

I am super excited.

And talking to so many experts and

actually listening, my own star is like, oh my God, are you fucking crazy?

Why would you let a guy stay on your couch for months, eating your food, drinking your wine, and treating like shit because of great sex?

No, no sex in the world is worth being called a dumb bitch, a stupid idiot, or you're a fucking moron.

You don't know what you're doing.

No, no, no.

And I love sex more than anybody you ever meet.

And my closest friends laugh because they're like, oh, you're on this man diet.

How the hell are you doing it?

Oh, sorry.

I'm drinking a lot.

I'm still thirsty.

I am doing it, of course.

I keep saying it.

I love vibrators and I think every woman should have a bunch of vibrators that they love because don't settle for any guy, for any crappy sex, because you're lonely.

Don't feel lonely.

Surround yourself with a great support system.

By all means, do use your vibrators because it's great, it's good, it's relaxing, and it's about time.

And I do not like this word that I'm going to use it.

Let's normalize using vibrators.

Let's normalize being great alone, being happy alone.

Let's normalize being single and happy.

It's not a big deal.

It's fun.

I get to concentrate on so many amazing things that are important to me, including this podcast.

And I really believe my heart is super open.

It's wide open.

When the right guy comes along, I will know and he he will know because he's going to look at me and say, you know what, I will take this girl, podcast and all, dog,

big dog, little dog.

I will take all the great things about her, all the crazy things about her, and I'm going to go through this life with her and we are going to build something together.

That's how it's supposed to be.

In the meantime,

And I swore I was never going to say normalize, normalize, normalize, because it's such a funny trend.

I mean, we shouldn't be normalizing anything.

This thing should be normal from Jump Street, period.

But yeah, let's do it.

Normal lies being alone.

If you are out there listening to me, girlies, especially, but guys too.

But if you are out there listening to me and you are in a miserable relationship

because the guy treats you like shit, because he calls you names, because of any reason, and I don't even want to think about physical abuse because that's like a huge, huge, huge, huge no-no.

But if you are out there and you think, oh my God, I don't think I can do this alone, of course you can.

You are always going to be your best friend, your best.

partner, your best support system.

You can do anything you put your mind into alone.

And this is coming from a woman that was never alone.

I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend to husband to boyfriend to husband to situationship to dates to relationship.

I jumped, jumped, jumped because I thought, oh, I need this guy to help.

No, I want a fabulous guy.

I don't need any guy.

Is it great?

1 million percent yes.

it's amazing and i know i'm gonna find the right one for me he's gonna find me but please please please this is the message i want to tell you girls on this beautiful gorgeous Tuesday here in Miami don't settle don't sell yourself short don't stay in nasty relationships listen to mine go back to season one and listen to the crap I used to put up with that no girl in the world should put up with.

And I know a lot of you girlies out there have even worse stories than me.

There is an episode, episode with one of my best friends, Shariani Hillier.

She was dating a con artist.

She almost married the guy.

So if you have stories and you want to vent, you want to talk about it, DM me, come be a part of it.

You can remain anonymous.

We can pre-record it, whatever it is.

This is a platform for us to feel better and to feel stronger.

This is my message to you.

We are so much stronger than we actually give ourselves credit for, than we actually even think we we are.

Remember that.

Thank you so much for listening.

I am very humbled, very honored with the billboard on Times Square.

And I'm going to keep doing this because I love it so much.

And if my message helps you in any way, shape, or form, I am very, very grateful.

I love you all so much.

And I'm coming back Friday with a very, very fun episode.

Three.

Super cool guys.

I love you.

Have a wonderful week.

Take care of ourselves.

Cat Zamuru on Insta for daily new content.

and I'll see you on Friday.

Love, love, love, love, love.