Crazy Day Impromptu Episode

Hi guys, happy Tuesday.

Very, very rainy, wet, great Tuesday here in Miami.

And I am starting this podcast sitting in my car,

stuck on a major, major, major traffic jam, because

a bunch of protesters who are protesting the situation in Cuba decided that they are going to protest in the middle of a major freeway and shut it down.

Now, I have many, many Cuban friends and I completely support the protests.

I think it's way

beyond the right time for the Cuban people to have a fair government, kick out those assholes out of there.

But seriously, why in the world would you protest and close down an American highway?

It's not going to change the situation in Cuba.

And they're literally affecting the lives of thousands and thousands and thousands of people like myself who are just sitting here.

We've been sitting here.

I've been sitting here for two hours in my car.

I had to cancel a meeting, and now I decided, you know what?

I'm going to do the podcast from my car because God knows how many more hours I'm going to be sitting here.

So, I guess the message I want to send by telling the story is:

you want to protest?

Great.

Do whatever the hell you want.

But how about a little more respect

for the rest of the world?

I just feel that lately, even during this pandemic, people only think about themselves.

And it's not just in the world of dating, in the world of relationships.

Obviously, in any situation, you want to protest.

There are so many parks, there are so many sidewalks, there are so many public areas.

But doing it in the middle of a major, major road, do you not think about how many people have kids at home, parents, jobs?

I mean, seriously, I get so pissed at the lack of respect that I see lately in humans in general.

So that's my rant for the day.

God knows what time I'm going to get home.

And today is definitely not a great day for me because this morning I was walking my dog.

I took him to the dog park.

He loves going there and playing with the ball.

And as we walk in the dog park, this tiny little

French bulldog comes charging at us, barking at my dog, trying to attack my dog.

Phoenix, for you guys that don't know, is a Labrador mix, and he's the sweetest, most loving dog in the world.

He barks, but he would never ever bite or attack another dog.

So he was just barking and he was scared.

And this dog was like very aggressive.

So I put myself between Phoenix and the dog.

And the dog just beat my leg really, really hard.

So I hope things get better better from now on and I hope I don't run out of gas

before they allow us to go home and reopen the the freeway but in the meantime let's talk some sex dating and relationships since I have nothing better to do from my car

this week I last week sorry I got a lot of messages from you guys saying that

I should talk about all this horrible stuff that you guys have been seeing on the dating apps.

And a lot of you send me examples, and a lot of you send me

a bunch of stories of really, really bad dates that you guys have had through dating apps.

So, I'll tell you some of the ones that really made me cringe.

Now, I know I have said this in the past, and I'll say it again.

Most people on dating apps are definitely horrible.

I agree.

And I know the number one complaint most of you have, and it's my number one complaint as well.

People fake their photographs a lot.

Both men and women.

What does that mean?

They use tons and tons of filters.

Believe it or not, some people use photos of other people instead of photos of themselves.

I mean, it's a freaking mess.

And what do I have to say about that?

It's the same thing over and over and over again.

Why in the world would you fake your photo?

Why in the world would you put some 10,000 filters or photoshop you to the point that you don't even look like yourself anymore?

If you know eventually the goal is meeting the person, if you know you're gonna meet the person,

if you don't look like what you are, of course they're gonna get disappointed.

And I actually think it's silly because ultimately we should all want somebody that will like us for us.

I don't care if you're not perfect.

I don't care if you don't have a supermodel body.

I don't care if you're not like the tallest or the skinniest or whatever you want to be.

Be yourself.

Every guy out there that sends me messages, every guy that I ever interviewed, all of my male friends say the same thing.

We want the girl that we are talking to through messages and on the dating app to actually look like herself when we get there.

So girls, seriously, of course we use a little bit of a filter here and there.

I have a nap that I love.

It's called Beauty Plus and sometimes if I look like shit, I'll put like a little bit of a lipstick, I'll touch up my hair, but altering your body, altering your appearance, why in the hell would you do that?

Seriously, someone should love you for what you are.

They should love every little bit and piece of you.

They should love all your perfect imperfections like john legend saying

and the same goes for guys i've been uh looking around tinder and the other dating apps a lot because one of my really really dear friends is a dating expert and he's gonna launch a bunch of master classes for dating both for men and women So we've been looking around the dating apps a lot to actually see examples on profiles of what people absolutely should not do so guys it's the same thing for you i mean take a normal nice picture of yourself but stop with the creepiness so many men out there decide it's a cool idea to take naked selfies or selfies in their underwear in front of the mirror or like literally they put the phone in front of their penis area and they do a selfie right there.

I swear to God, I think this week alone I've seen more than 20 profiles like that.

And I'm telling you, girls that are interested in dating or interested in a relationship are not going to like that.

They're not going to be impressed by that.

That is just really disgusting.

You know, if you want to know what a good profile should be, like I said, it's so freaking simple.

Be yourself.

Take a nice picture.

Put on your best smile.

And seriously, don't cross the creepy line.

There's a big difference between being sexy and between being creepy.

Now,

you guys sent me a few really, really funny stories about some very bad dates that you've had lately.

And I think I have a couple that really take the cake.

One of them,

my friend told me, and he actually sent me the picture, and I have to agree with him.

He met this girl on Tinder, and yeah, it looked like an amazing supermodel, Playboy Bunny kind of girl.

Brunette, gorgeous, huge boobs.

So he books a really nice restaurant to take her to dinner.

Yeah, the sirens are like 10 million police cars going towards the protesters.

And I don't see this going anywhere fast.

Oh my Jesus.

So anyways, my friend plans this fabulous dinner date for him and this girl and he's so excited because she looks so freaking gorgeous and amazing and she tells him that she's a model and blah blah blah blah.

So, when he gets to the restaurant and he looks at this woman, he thinks

basically she was a he.

She is a transgender, but he's so nice, and he's such a gentleman, he doesn't feel good about asking her right there and then.

So, he has dinner, and they are talking.

And the more they talk as the night progresses, he's really thinking, Oh my god, this is a man.

This is a

transgender person.

And I can't believe somebody would freaking hide that from someone because that's really a big deal.

It's not like hiding that you're five pounds overweight.

This is a major, major life-altering thing.

So finally, at the end of dinner, they had a few drinks and he looks at her and says, okay, I'm sorry.

I mean, this is the white elephant in the room.

Were you a dude?

Were you a guy before?

And she looks at him like super embarrassed, and she's like, Yes, I was.

Do you have a problem?

And he was like, Of course, I have a problem.

I mean, this is huge.

This is something you should tell someone 1 million percent sure before the date, before you go meet them.

This is not something, when do you think you're gonna tell them?

When you get naked in bed?

And I agree with him.

I think if you have anything huge about yourself that is a major, major issue,

be upfront about it.

I know sometimes it's tough telling the truth, but I'm a huge, huge believer in telling the truth, no matter what that truth is, because I think a lot of people do like transgenders, a lot of people like transsexuals.

There is something, like my mom would say, there is a slipper out there for every foot.

So I think no matter what your truth is you are always always always

better off telling the person up front i don't think anything good can come out of starting any kind of a relationship even a date or on a lie i mean seriously why would you let a guy take you to a restaurant wine and dine you and if he doesn't even know who you are so i mean this is a huge no-no just tell your truth yeah you don't have have to tell your whole life story in minor details, every single thing that happens to you.

I think that that's something that happens once you get to know the person.

And if you do develop a relationship, you tell more and more and more.

But I do believe in complete, complete, full disclosure about who you are, your gender, your job.

Are you single?

Are you married?

I mean, I think these are the basics.

Let's just say full disclosure about the basics.

Another one that I cannot stand, and it has happened to me before:

a lot of guys out there they say they're single.

Okay, if you just want to bang and if you just want to have sex, say it.

There are gazillions and gazillions and gazillions of women out there who also just want to bang and have sex.

You're not alone.

But don't tell a woman who is looking for a relationship, who is looking for a boyfriend, that you also want a relationship.

And seriously, if you're married, that is a huge deal.

Even if you are separated,

even if you are going through a divorce, it doesn't matter.

Even if you got married because

of a green card, anything, whatever your situation is, I think every girl in the world deserves to know if you are married.

Because for a lot of women, that's a big deal.

To me, it's a big deal because I don't want that kind of a complication in my life.

So I was talking to a guy quite a while ago, actually,

and we just talked, talked, talk, talk.

And then one day, after many, many, many texts,

he decided to tell me, oh, I'm actually married to this woman and I marry her because she needed a green card, but I don't really love her, so I'm separated.

And I hope it's not a big deal to you, but as long as she doesn't get the green card, but and I said, Look, listen, I'm sure you're a great guy, and I'm sure you had your reasons for doing that, but it's not gonna work out for me because I don't want this complication in my life.

I don't want to be dating a guy that also has to lie to the authorities and immigration and see this girl and go on vacation with this girl.

Nothing against it.

I respect your decision for doing that.

But honestly, thank you, but no, thank you.

I'm going to move on.

Thank you so much.

So, I know, guys, guys and girls, I know many times you're embarrassed.

to say something.

I know life is not always black and white.

I know we all have a million issues going on, but I really don't see how you want somebody to even like you if you are portraying yourself something that you're not.

So I keep emphasizing that.

Full disclosure, be real, be honest, be you.

Another guy sent me the story and I also think this is a pretty bad one.

Again, he saw pictures of this girl.

on a dating app and she looked amazing she dressed nice nice hair blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and they only texted By the way, a lot of people, because of these kinds of experiences, that the person doesn't look like what they really say they are.

A lot of people nowadays are asking for video calls.

And I think it's a great idea.

Do a video call with the person before you waste your time and go on a date.

Because if they're hiding something, they're not going to want to do it.

And if they're not hiding, they'll be more than happy to do it.

So, anyways, this guy finally agrees to go with this girl on a date, and he picks a nice restaurant and everything.

And by the time she got there, she was missing a bunch of teeth she almost didn't have any teeth and of course he was horrified that's a big deal i'm sure a lot of people out there don't mind somebody with a lot of missing teeth but most men would love to know that ahead of time

so ladies if you have a major issue on your face, on your teeth, on your body,

I'm sure this lady had reasons why she didn't go to the dentist, why she doesn't have dentures, whatever it is.

But I, again,

it's something that you're just gonna have to man up, and it's something that everybody in the world has the right to know.

Don't waste the person's time.

Even if you convince them to go to a restaurant and see you, guess what?

If they find out you're lying, or if they find out you're hiding something too freaking big, they're not going to want to see you again

and i've had had problems in the past

some guys tell me oh my god you tell too much oh my god you're too honest oh my god you're too up front yeah exactly i i prefer to be very upfront about what i want about what i don't want about what i like uh everybody can see what i look like because i'm all over my social media i did have problems with with men in the past that when they listened to my podcast they felt very uncomfortable about it.

So they have the right to feel uncomfortable about it.

Not every guy wants to have their girlfriend talking about sex, dating, and relationships.

But at least I'm super upfront about everything I do.

And then after knowing all of these things about me, if someone decides, okay, I want to go ahead and date her, Great.

But everybody has the right to make that decision.

The other day I was chatting with a guy online and he asked me what I did.

And I told him, I said, I do social media and I do social media management, da-da-da.

And I have a podcast about dating, sex, and relationships.

So he answers back to me very sarcastically.

He wrote, huh?

So you're an expert on dating, sex, and relationships.

How interesting.

And you are on a dating app?

Why would that be?

Are you using us for research?

Are you trying to figure something out?

Are you really trying to find a relationship?

Or is it both?

And I actually answer back to him.

I said, first of all, I am not an expert at all by any means.

Actually, it's the exact opposite.

The reason why I have a podcast,

everybody, okay, everybody's getting sick and tired of this protest.

That is so freaking rude.

But anyways, I told him the reason why I started the podcast is exactly because I pretty much obviously know nothing about dating.

and I was married for a long time.

And ever since my husband died, I haven't been really lucky in relationships.

And then he never answered back.

So I guess my work intimidated him, or he thought if I have a podcast, I should be an expert.

But actually, this podcast is about us all trying to figure out,

start conversations, and try to figure out what's going on.

And oh my god, I'm going to have to see what's going on here.

And I am so upset because these protesters literally closed the entire freeway.

And I cannot believe they're doing that to people.

That is so mean.

That is so horrible.

I mean, really, if you want to protest, and I'm probably going to run out of gas, guys, believe it or not.

This is real life.

Real, real, real, real life.

I am freaking out right now.

I cannot believe they do that to people.

And you know what's amazing to me?

I can't believe the police lets them do that.

Protest in the middle of a freeway on a super, super rainy day.

I have 65 miles of gas to go.

I don't know how many hours that will burn because I've been literally stuck here for almost two hours.

And I mean, I just think it's...

I'm all for protests, but I think it should be peaceful and it shouldn't interfere with thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of lives.

So I'm like honestly upset right now.

But anyways, that was my rant for the day.

I wanted to do Cat on the Loose despite the fact that I'm stranded and stuck.

I didn't do it last week because I was fighting a severe ear infection.

And I want to hear your opinions.

Please send me,

tell me all about your if you ever had a great date out of these apps.

I would love to know that because I know some people do meet and do meet really nice people out of these apps.

I don't want to hear just about bad dates.

So, if anybody out there has amazing stories about meeting nice people through the dating apps, Please let me know.

And I keep looking at them every now and again.

And I do talk to some people because I think we should never give up on love.

We should never give up on trying to find the right person.

And hey, maybe it will be on through dating apps for some people.

And, guys, yeah, the situation here in Miami is very bad.

And I hope you guys have an amazing Tuesday, an amazing rest of your week.

And I will give you an update later or tomorrow about what time I got home.

Am I going to run out of of gas in the middle of this closed freeway?

And

I hope I do get home.

And I love you guys.

Thank you so much for listening.

I'll see you soon.