Mean Girls!!!

Hi guys, happy Tuesday!

Tuesday means a new episode of Cat on the Lose, and by the way, we are approaching the end of season two before we do a special summer season Cat on the Lose on the road.

But, anyways, I have a few awesome guests lined up so we can finalize this season with a bang.

And as you all know, this is a podcast about dating, sex, and relationships.

And of course, 99.9% of the time we're we're talking about what?

Men, or how men treat us, and boyfriends, and girlfriends, and relationships, or how girls treat guys, and so forth.

But there is one other component of relationships, which is the relationships we have with our girlfriends.

So, first of all, I want to say that I really, really wish I did not have to record this episode because as I am talking about it, it literally breaks my heart.

The people that know me for a long time know that my entire career, dating from when I was in college, when I worked in LA as a stylist, when I worked as a fashion consultant, when I worked as a model, everything I've ever done in my life, it is always, always about

trying to empower other women to feel good about themselves, trying to make women feel great about their bodies, about how they feel, about their relationships.

I am 1 million percent a huge supporter of women, and I truly believe in my heart if we all were supportive of each other and never jealous and never envious of other girls, for sure the world would be an easier, better place.

So, that being said,

I've been holding off

about

talking about my friends because I

didn't want to spill it out.

But I think now is the time because honestly, I've had it.

I like to say I'm a super nice person.

I am super patient.

I've been through hell in high water the past three years since my husband died.

And I'm not a victim by

any means.

But seriously, when girls start acting like mean girls, it's time to call them out.

If you guys didn't watch that movie Mean Girls, I mean, I think it's an iconic movie and it's so much fun and I highly recommend it.

It's with Lindsay Lohan when she was super super young, Rachel McAdams when she was starting her career, Lacey Shaber and a bunch of other girls that I honestly don't even remember their names right now and it's a super cool movie.

And in the movie, all these girls,

the character played by Lindsay is a girl from out of town and she basically moves and she's new in school, so we're talking about high school girls, and all the girls basically kind of gang up on her.

So, this expression comes from the movie when there's a bunch of mean girls and they're just bullying or ganging up against someone.

And now, in my situation, we're not in high school anymore, we are not college girls anymore, we are grown-ass women, most of us in their 40s.

I think maybe one or two of us in their 30s, but these are all super successful girls.

Some of them are single, some of them are dating, some of them are married.

But seriously, I would hope that there is some mature level going on that you know better.

So, this is the story.

A few years ago, I think it was around 2018, because Anthony, my husband, was still alive.

I became a member of the Soho Beach House.

The Soho House, for those of you who don't know, is a super private, awesome, members-only club with in a few different cities, but here in Miami Beach, they have the Soho Beach House.

So I used to be a member in West Hollywood, so I became a member here at the Soho Beach House.

And a new friend at the time became a member as well.

I'm gonna call her the Regina George of the group.

Like basically, she's the leader of the group that became the Mean Girls group.

So both of us, me and Regina, we joined the Soho Beach house and at the Soho Beach house we become friends with a bunch of other girls and slowly this friendship grows and basically at that time we were all single I was single and Regina was going through a divorce and all the other girls were single so it's a bunch of girls all of us living alone So I thought, well, I have a great idea.

I'm going to create a group, the Soho Girls.

That way, if one of us decides, by the way, this place is super cool because it has a pool and it has the beach club where they put beach chairs and beach umbrellas, and you can have drinks there, and you can have food, and then they have this awesome events around the house, DJs, parties, culture events, etc.

etc.

So, back then, I created a group and I thought, well, I'm gonna put all of us in the group.

So, let's say if I go to the beach on Sunday, I say, hey, does anybody else want to go?

And so, we all communicate there there and we all agree to meet there and get together and sit together they all loved the idea so that was the

start of the Soho beach the Soho girls so anyways as the years go by

We are most of the time communicating through the group.

Hey girls, do you want to go there?

Do you want to do this?

Do you want to do that?

And not only to go to the Soho house.

Many times it was someone's birthday.

So they would throw in the message there.

Hey, it's my birthday.

Let's celebrate there and there and there.

Let's do this and that and that.

So it became this little group for us to arrange social activities.

Now, a long time ago, I started noticing that sometimes they would go and do something that they didn't talk about it in the group.

Of course, it's their right.

In the beginning, I thought, okay, this is weird because I would see them, let's say, at a restaurant or something.

And I'm thinking, well, why wouldn't they not mention it in the group?

Or why would not one of them send me a message in private?

Hey, Kat, do you want to come?

But I let it go.

I let it go.

I let it go.

And I said, yeah, of course, it's their right if they want to go places without me.

Then one day, again, these were talking about like before the pandemic.

A couple of years ago, I saw that they were doing something super cool.

They went to a really fun place and they started talking about it in the group again in the morning.

Oh, this was so much fun, blah, blah.

I think it was a boat ride.

Yeah.

Oh, this was so great.

And I made a comment in the group, like, wow, I didn't even know your girls were doing that.

I would have loved to go.

So, Regina, the mean girl, scolds me in the groups like, oh, cats, stop it.

No drama.

It was nothing on purpose to exclude you.

So I was like, oh, okay, sorry.

So I let it go.

I felt like she was super rough in the group and I didn't want to argue or say anything to her in the group.

So I just let it go.

And this girl has like a super strong personality, she's super successful, she's very beautiful, she loves working out,

and her life is great.

One time, I joked that she's like little Miss Perfect because she has it all together.

Okay, fantastic, kudos for her.

But at the time, I remember being really hurt the way she talked to me and the group.

But I let it go.

So then the pandemic came, a lot of things came.

And granted,

last year, especially i was the one that was the least participating in the group and and the social activities and going out with them for several reasons one of them because yes i am the one that works the most granted one million percent i am the one that can spend the least all of them have this fantastic social lives they have great jobs

whatever it is they do they can pretty much go travel do whatever they want And obviously, I'm not in that position because I'm starting my life over since my husband died.

By the way, if you guys want to catch up on the husband's story, there are two episodes about it, and I'll talk a little more about it before the season ends.

But, anyways, I'm starting over from scratch and I cannot always keep up with their lifestyle.

Completely agree.

But that being said, I started noticing that so many times they would be on these great places and they were planning these things away from the group.

Rarely they would come and talk about it in the group.

So pandemia gets better, the Soho house reopens a few months ago and I'm super excited.

Wow, that's great.

We're going to start going back to the beach.

The first few weekends I look at their social media and they're all on the beach.

together and there is nothing in our group about it.

So again, I'm thinking, why aren't they putting it in the group thinking oh maybe cat wants to come so i started mentioning in the group hey does anybody want to go does anybody want to go so march my birthday was march 6 one of these girls moved away from miami to a different a different state so a few days before my birthday this girl that moved away puts a message in the group hey guys i'm coming to miami to visit the weekend of march 6

so i jumped in the group i'm like, yeah, that's the weekend of my birthday.

Sounds amazing.

I don't know what my plans are, but at least I would love to get together with you girls.

So this girl says, yes, there's going to be a barbecue.

One of my friends is planning a barbecue for me because I'm out of town now.

Please do stop by.

You're all invited.

I said, yeah, fantastic.

So I'll stop by because I really want to see you girls.

It's been so long.

So now listen to this and you guys tell me your opinion.

All the girls saw this and a couple of them said, yeah, that's great.

Yeah, Yay, Kat, it's your birthday.

We definitely should plan something.

We definitely should have drinks with you.

Regina, who is the one that I know the longest and the one that supposedly was my closest friend, didn't say anything.

Okay, cool, no problem.

So, March 5th, the night before my birthday,

I see on their social media that all of these girls are having this fabulous time.

They go out to dinner, then they go to this lounge that is a super fun place in Miami called socialista and they're having a blast and again I'm thinking to myself huh that is so weird they know my birthday is tomorrow morning I mean I could be having drinks with them dancing with them we could spend midnight together I'm wondering why are they why didn't they even mention it to me hey Kat do you have plans maybe if you don't have plans if you're home do you want to stop by for a drink we're all going out together and again i didn't say anything i'm thinking okay it's their right to plan away from the group it's their right to not include me although i honestly don't understand why

so saturday comes and the weather was horrible so they canceled the barbecue but this girl says hey we're meeting at my friend's place So why don't you come over?

I said, sure, it's my birthday and I have plans later on with other friends, but I want to see all of you girls.

I'm definitely stopping by.

So by the time I go and stop stop by,

most of them have a hangover from hell from the night before.

And they just send a message.

Oh, sorry, we're not going to make it.

We have a hangover.

We're staying home tonight.

Including Regina.

They just send me a message like, hey, happy birthday.

So I get there and it's two girls there.

One that I adore to pieces.

I mean, she's a new friend, but I can't say one word about her because she always treats me super, super well.

And the other girl from out of town that I'm super happy to see.

And she also also always treats me super well.

So, I have a glass of wine with them, I kiss them goodbye, and I go away with my other friends.

Okay,

after March, again, weekend after weekend after weekend, cutting the story short, I see them on the beach, I see them on the beach, they never mention in the group.

So, a few weeks ago, one of my adored friends that I love, Two Pieces from New York, was visiting, and I take her to the Soho house.

So, we go super early because we want to sit by the pool.

And around 10 o'clock in the morning, I say, you know what?

I'm going to mention in the group to my other friends that I'm here.

Maybe some of them want to come.

So I mention in the group, hey girls, if anybody wants to come to the Soho House, I'm here with a friend.

Five minutes later, one of them answers, oh, we are ready here on the beach.

Why don't you come over?

Again, I'm thinking, okay, well.

They are obviously making all these plans and they're never going to use this group again.

So I take my friend from New York and we go to the beach and we join them on the beach.

And it's Regina and this other girl that is adorable.

And they're like, oh, hi, Kat, how are you doing?

And I almost said something.

I feel as an adult, I should have said, well, why don't you guys throw it in the group?

What is the problem?

Why are you excluding me?

It's so silly.

It's so immature.

We are grown women.

Why can't we all sit together?

And at this point, Regina has this boyfriend that is a gentleman.

So he goes and tells us, Oh, please put your big chairs near us.

Let's sit everybody together.

Do you guys want water?

Do you want this?

And my friend from New York is saying, Oh my god, he's nicer than your friend.

And it's true.

I'm sorry, but it was kind of bizarre.

Like she barely looks at us.

That's fine, you know, I'm not each person has their own personality, but to me, it's just so silly and immature.

Why would you treat other girls like that?

So I stayed a little while and I left because i i i was going out and i was going to do something fabulous that i wanted to do and it is what it is and then again it happened again and again last weekend was i think the drop that honestly

made me decide to do this episode because I talked briefly to Regina on Saturday and she said oh we might all go to the beach to Sunday if the weather is nice and I said okay please sounds great let me know because I could really use a break I've been working like hell so if you guys go let me know okay Sunday comes nobody sends a message so I'm thinking I don't know if I want to go alone I love my company and I love going to the beach home but on a Sunday I'm gonna stay home and clean and and and catch up on work and relax and stay with my dogs finally some the other girl in the group 12 30 In the afternoon, she sends a message.

Hey Kat, by the way, we're here if you want to come.

I said, really?

Well, no, thanks now i'm home i'm chilling by the time i get ready and everything blah blah blah get there it's gonna be 1 30 in the afternoon no thanks then i seen their social media that it was more than just going to the beach that there was some awesome event happening there and they had um

they had taken dresses to to change there and they were all at this event at night they had planned out the whole By the way, sorry, it wasn't Sunday, it was Saturday.

I'm sorry.

I talked to them on Friday, and this whole thing thing happened on Saturday.

They had planned out this whole thing, and I'm thinking, wow, yeah, no, this is mean girl behavior.

So now I'm gonna publish the episode.

I'm going to leave the group because at my age, I am finally, finally learning.

A, we should speak up for ourselves.

B, we should surround ourselves with people that absolutely appreciate our company, want to have our company, and want to be around us.

See, this behavior is ridiculous, to say the least.

I have never ever done anything, I hope, to hurt any one of these girls.

And I always admit, yes, I work like a maniac.

Yes, my life is a mess.

I've been trying to fix it and organize it and get it together and get my business going again and getting the podcast, getting so many things going again for the past two and a half, almost three years.

Yes, I cannot always do all the social activities that you girls do, but instead of like shushing me away, instead of ignoring me, instead of treating me like that, maybe it would have been nice if they came to me and talked.

If I do something that bothers them, talk say, hey cat, we don't like that you don't participate enough, or we don't like this about you, or we don't like that.

So we could actually come to a conclusion as friends.

But the way they just plan behind my back, behind my back, behind behind my back, and honestly, could not care less if I'm there, if I'm not, if I'm alone at home, if my feelings are hurt, just made me decide: you know,

I don't need people like that around me, and obviously they don't need me around them.

If any one of them actually likes me and wants to be my friend and continue this friendship, I am hoping they know who they are.

They all have my number, they're going to come to me in private and say, hey, let's have a conversation about this let's fix it and move forward as adults oh no yeah I don't agree with you you're an asshole I can't believe you're talking about that in your podcast goodbye but the way it is I think my feelings are hurt I think I don't think adults should behave like that seriously going back to the movie this is crap yeah

High school teenagers do that, but not grown women.

I think we should be supportive of each other.

The message I want to send with this episode is many times before you exclude someone, before you treat them like shit, before you ignore them, you should try to walk a mile on their shoes.

Try to understand what they're going through.

I work with social media and I love what I do.

But many times people see this facade.

My pictures need to be fantastic.

My stars need to be amazing.

Everything needs to look incredible.

It doesn't mean my life is always like that.

And you guys that listen to the podcast know that it's turmoil.

It's been crazy.

It's been a roller coaster.

And my friends know, and the ones that don't know me enough, it would be nice if they approached me and said, hey, I don't like that you do this.

I don't like that you do that.

One of them made a comment the other day that

because a long time ago we were all having dinner at the restaurant and they sat down and I said, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I excused myself and I just laughed.

And she said, oh, you did that to us.

I can't believe you did that to us.

Yes, I was going through a horrible, horrible time in my life.

I was dating Min Hoko for you guys.

You can go back to the first season and listen to the story.

It was a very difficult, very abusive situation.

And I didn't feel when I sat down in the restroom, I was like, you know what, I'm going to be horrible company to these girls.

I don't feel well.

So I decided to just leave.

I came up with a lame excuse and I left.

And I think instead of being mad at me, they should have called and said, hey, are you okay?

Why did you act act like that what is going on do you want to talk about it at least that's what i try to do with my friends if i feel that there is anything going on with them i am a 24 7 friend my phone is never off if you want to call me if you want to come over if you want to cry i i try to tell them that i'm always here for them so anyways i it makes me feel good talking about it because

I think it's horrible to keep stuff inside, inside, inside for so long.

And I think this weekend was the end of it.

I'm like, seriously, you girls are always doing shit together.

If you created another group, like the Mean Girls group, the Exclude Cat group, go for it.

Good for you.

Tell it to my face.

Say, you know what?

We don't think you're good company.

We don't like it.

We don't think you participate enough.

So goodbye.

But just say it.

Whatever it is, say it.

If you girls feel the same way, whether it is friends, men, any kind of relationship,

and I actually learned by doing this podcast, following some major inspirational people that I love on Instagram, listening to their videos, listening to what they have to say, and I really, really learned a lesson.

We are adults.

It doesn't mean we have to be rude.

And I don't think I'm being rude by any means telling the story, but we definitely should speak up if we feel somebody is treating us.

a certain way that bothers us.

So that's the story of the Soho girls.

I am definitely excusing myself from this group today.

And if they listen to the podcast, great.

If they don't, whatever, it's their choice.

But I want to surround myself.

And my circle got smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller the past few years.

And you know what?

It's a great feeling because I know the ones that lasted, the ones that are actually around me nowadays, are real, true friends.

The ones that left were never friends, never cared.

So it's actually better quality is always a better idea than quantity one million percent today one of my clients sent me a quote and i put it in his stories and i absolutely love it it was amazing and and it's a quote by al capone and and he wrote be careful who you think your friends are i prefer to have four quarters than a hundred pennies and that really resonated with me because yes yes, it's not about thinking, oh, I have hundreds of friends and they all adore me.

No, it's about having a few quality friends that will be with you through thick and thin, through good times, through bad times, through great relationships, through breakups, not just when you can be a fantastic party pal.

I hope you guys enjoy it.

Please, by all means, send me your opinions.

You can send it on Instagram, katzamuto, z-a-m-m-ut-t-o.

You can dm me there, you can send me emails, katzamuta ketzamura gmail.com and my WhatsApp 305-332-0338.

Thank you so much.

And I'll see you guys on Friday with a fabulous guest.

I love her.

I adore her.

She's a businesswoman.

She's hot.

She's a kick-ass.

She's gorgeous.

And you know what?

She's a girl's girl.

She's so sweet.

She's so supportive.

We're going to talk about some crazy, crazy relationships she had, and we're going to have some good laughs.

So stay tuned until Friday.

You girls have a wonderful week.

Love you.