Let's Talk About SEX with Dr. Drew Part 2

Guys, this is the second half of Canon the Lucy Dr.

Drew because this is so much fun.

And off the record, we were talking about very explicit things such as anal sex, whether it is gay sex or heterosex or whatever you guys want to call it, polyamorous sex.

So we are going to do a whole episode about

things that you want to do or you think you want to do or you think it's taboo to talk about.

Not now, but we're going to do it next.

Not this episode, not as episodes.

Don't tune out right now.

We're planning for, we'll give you the warning later on.

But I'm telling you, if you guys seriously, if you have any questions, if you want to know anything, if you're curious about pleasure, about if you're embarrassed to ask your partner about something,

send us your questions because Dr.

Drew is a doctor, he's an expert, and he's a super well-resolved sexual person, human being.

I've had lots of sex.

As me, yeah, that makes you a sex expert.

I know.

I love that.

It's funny because the cute guy last week, he said, oh, you're an expert.

How much sex did you have to become an expert?

I'm like, I don't know, but I don't think I'm going to ask her that.

And let me just quickly clarify that.

I've worked with sex experts before.

Again, I'm a psychiatrist and I've worked in the sex industry around it.

I've worked in sex crimes.

I've worked in sex trafficking and so on and so forth.

Whole other level of intensity in my job, which I won't go into here.

But, you know,

sex experts are very important in many ways.

But the idea is that you don't really want to have sort of the masters and jobs approach of like over-education.

What we want to do is basically make this...

What are you whispering?

We really want to make it in social media at the same time.

We really want to make this about like, you know, things that are real and that things that we can actually talk about.

Because I think it's more important than lecturing people on what it is.

So I might be a doctor and everything else.

I have insight.

I'll give it to you as often.

But in the end, this really is about like sex, intimacy, and how we all do this.

I mean, this is life and we all are having sex.

Yes.

And if you are not,

I'm not a doctor, but tell me honestly if you think I'm wrong.

I believe if you have a healthy, happy, sexual life, it keeps you younger.

It's good for the skin.

It's good for the brain.

It's good for your body.

It's good for your soul.

So I think a lot of people that I meet, maybe you think I'm crazy, they're depressed and they're super sad.

And if you go find out something about their lives, they either don't have sex or they have miserable sex with their husbands, their partners.

They are not well-resolved sexually.

I just want to touch on that very quickly.

Well, I'm going to touch on two things.

One, I'm in my 50s and I'm fucking hot.

So it's kind of like.

Yeah, he's so hot.

When he told me he was in his 60s, I'm like, you're lying.

You're a liar.

You're a lying.

Maybe as well, I'm Dr.

Thothor.

Check me out.

Your pictures are insane.

I want to drink whatever the hell you drink.

Maybe one.

Okay, give me some.

Oh, shit.

There was something else that you said that I want to touch upon.

That I think people, that I think it ages you if you don't have a satisfying sexual life.

It does.

And the other thing is, a lot of people are having sex and it's not satisfying.

And that actually ages you that much more.

And those things can be so easily corrected they can be corrected by communication they'd be corrected by basically us saying what you want and again this is part of going back from depression and we're going to move on from that from our last episode but it really is about saying what i want this doesn't feel good i don't like this do this

And those are such important things to make our sexual life better.

And honestly, if somebody is offended by you saying, hey, look, this doesn't feel right.

They shouldn't be.

They should be like, oh, okay yeah they should run and make you feel better because i pound you that to pound you to the point that you feel better you know

sorry did i say that out loud no no

yes you did thank god

you know we keep going back to the cute guy because he said the funniest thing to me not in my past

cute guy on yeah we were gonna reason with him no because we were at the dog park the other day and he said to me a woman should feel after she has sex with her guy she should feel like the entire french army just walked all over America.

Yeah, I want to.

A woman or a man.

If I bottom, I want to be exhausted and feel like I've basically been beaten to a pulp that I can barely walk.

Exactly.

Sometimes.

Not all the time.

Other times I want that beautiful.

Interesting.

But I'm going to tell them what I want.

It's like, yeah.

At the end of the day, I think we want to wake up with a smile like this, right?

Yeah.

Exactly.

And great skin, right?

Maybe slightly sore.

That true.

By the way, it is great.

I know

we're not joking.

No, we're having fun.

It is true.

It's a great workout, right?

It's great exercise.

And for your brain.

So, I mean, not only is your body being, you're using muscles in your body that we're not using every day by walking, sitting, typing, and doing, playing on our cell phones.

We're using a lot of other muscles.

And the more creative your sex is, obviously the more muscles you're using.

But, but, but more importantly, what's happening in your brain is 10 times that.

So, the amount of serotonin, the amount of dopamine, the amount of uptake is so much stronger.

So, that when you actually leave there, you actually have a high.

I mean, screw Coke, screw all those other stuff, have better sex.

Yeah.

And you literally go to the bottom.

And it's healthy, right?

As opposed to, of course, if you do a drug like cocaine, yeah, you get a major high.

Yeah, that's a whole other that's a whole other so that's a whole other conversation yeah

drugs on coke yeah okay or sex on coke anyway all right so let's move we're moving on i'm gonna promote wine yeah promo wine i okay so it is true as a doctor

one doctor told me a long time ago that it is true that it's good for the body it's good for the soul it releases all these endorphins in your brain right

and i personally me catherine i think people age not based on their birth certificate.

I think they age based on

life, yeah.

And if you're like this boring person and if you're unfulfilled sexually,

if you don't say what you want, I honestly think it ages you faster.

I agree.

I do agree.

I think honestly that most people, you know, and again, I'm going to go on Americans for this, and no offense.

I mean, you know, I'm going to get bombarded by my Americans.

I know, I know, I know, but I'm a brain.

I love you guys, but honestly, it's, and I'm not saying it's everybody.

I know.

No, no, it's everybody.

But

a big part of that is being able to sort of embrace aspects of yourself and living a healthy life and not having to live all the time on work and da-da-da-da.

But anyway, let's move on.

Yeah, so just one more question because we start talking.

I know we want to talk about something else, but that's the last one.

So if there is somebody out there listening to us and they are uptight about sex, like one of your friends or anybody, they say, oh, I'm too embarrassed.

How do I ask my boyfriend, do this or do that or touch that?

Do you have any tips, anything you recommend for somebody that is like super uptight about sex, but they want to have better sex, too embarrassed to ask?

Yeah, no,

I do.

I have a couple different things.

I mean, obviously, one, you have to basically, I mean, these kind of podcasts are actually very helpful for that because there's a lot to think outside that box.

Because we do, we push ourselves in such heavy boxes of like, I can't step outside of here.

And, you know, bear with me on this conversation, but porn.

Watch porn.

Read porn.

You know, and I'm going to say both.

You know, I know that porn sometimes exemplifies, sometimes in some cases, either violence or suppression and so on and so forth.

But you can find good porn.

Yeah.

I used to actually consult for a porn company, believe it or not.

Really?

Yeah.

Thanks, you and I have anything.

You've done it all.

I have really done everything.

Watch my videos at MySpace.

Okay, we're going down.

My only fans.

But you know, poem can be a good way of looking at things and other things that you haven't done that you might be fantasizing about doing, but you're too afraid to do so.

Yes.

And it can normalize that.

But let me, I also want to say reading porn.

Reading erotic material.

is a way that you are not being overly visualized, but you're able to bring it into your own head and process it.

We are a very visual world.

Reading has kind of gone out the window.

We have so much internet now.

But reading really is the way that we are then able to quickly interpret that into our own thinking.

And therefore, we're not trying to copy these porn stars.

We are actors who are making good money to do it the way that they're doing.

Both of the things are important.

Exposure is always going to be important.

If you're too afraid to move forward, you know, I talk to a lot of people who are confused about their sexuality.

Let's go back to the gay thing for a moment.

And what do most gay boys do that they, before they come out, they watch a lot of gay porn.

Not only because it turns them on, they're jerking off to it, it's also because it normalizes it somehow in their heads of saying, this is okay.

You start processing in your head before you actually go and have the

go do it.

And then also, on some level, you kind of learn some tricks along the way.

Yeah.

And realize, you know, the discomforts of the conversation around it.

So it really is exposure.

Last piece of that answer is talk about it.

Listen to us.

But you know, most people are embarrassed.

Like they go to bed and they, oh my God, I can't take it.

Oh, I know, but you know, you have my time.

So we sit there in parties where

six drinks in.

And having so on and so forth.

And somebody talks about sex.

Cringe, cringe away if you want to, but don't cringe away.

Engage in it and be like, Yeah, girl, you know what?

Yeah, I've thought about that.

Hey, have you ever done this?

Hey, you know, you take that.

Oh my god, what was that like?

You know, whatever that response is to it, engage it versus like shrinking away because sex is normal, sex is good.

Yes, I think I think somebody said that one.

That was Michael, George Michael.

And we agree, by the way, we completely agree.

Let's not bring George Michael into situation,

but he is absolutely right.

Yes.

And you know, it's funny, you talked about porn.

You're not going to believe that.

And I want to know if other girls are like me.

I get asked by almost everybody I've dated, by the time I go to bed with them, they're like, do you watch porn?

Do you watch?

And I'm like, yes.

Oh, really?

I'm like, yes, of course.

I mean, especially now I'm single.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Most nights I'm watching porn and using my vibrator.

And they they make this face like what am i uh-huh it relieves my tension it's relaxing i think it's completely normal for a woman to watch porn and and i'm telling you drew dr drew

i feel bad calling you drew because

drew dr drew i i can't believe people get shocked

when i tell them i love watching porn but a lot of people don't want to admit they watch porn and i look at it the other way it's like i kind of look at you going okay first of all you're full of shit but secondly why wouldn't you admit that you watch porn it's healthy you know i i can get i i know porn addiction i understand that again i would yeah that's a whole other part of my job is in the very dark realms of what we're talking about but but

watching porn is healthy and honestly if you tell me i mean that you're not watching porn i'm gonna be like what the fuck's wrong with you seriously because you should be i know you absolutely should be and you should be masturbating to

You should be fantasizing about it.

And then you should say to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever the hell it is.

And like,

hey, look, let's do this.

I know.

You know, it's invigorating.

And why do most men think that women don't watch porn?

Women do watch.

And I hope, girls out there, I really, really hope that you watch porn.

If you have a boyfriend, if you're married, if you're not, seriously, it makes you hot and horny.

And like you said, it makes you watch things that maybe you want to do.

Don't be shy.

shy watch porn and girls and guys

watch gay porn uh

i never watched gay

i've watched the group once is done you and i watching gay porn why

because why why why not why not why not because it really does turn most men on and most women on really because it's watching something and thinking about something you don't think

watching them think about something that is other level of sexuality that is not even in your realm.

And you're suddenly watching two gorgeous men engaging in sex.

And whether you are a man or a woman, it's hot.

Yeah.

Once you can drop all of your sort of repression around it, that's the thing.

You just want to go, whoa, these two guys are gorgeous and they're engaging in each other.

And I have found that a lot of women and men, straight men, I'm not talking about about any sort of crossover thing here, actually get turned on by it.

I think you're touching a very good, sensitive point.

And I know I'm going to get 10 million messages from men saying, you know, he's gay.

He's crazy.

I'm not going to watch gay porn.

Watching porn does not make you gay.

It doesn't make you straight.

It doesn't make you less of a man.

It makes you sexual.

Exactly.

We're not saying that, but I know we were talking about

off the air.

Off camera.

Off-camera.

Most men, we're not saying all of you, but most men will never go anywhere near the subject.

They think, oh, if I watch a gay man, I'm gay.

No, we're just saying.

You're not, you're sexual.

And that's a piece of it.

Sexuality, you know, from again from every perspective, it's a spectrum.

So you're at a zero where you're 100% gay, and you're a 10 where you're 100% straight.

guess what none of you exist there you all exist somewhere between three four five six seven eight and it's like sexist sex you watch trust me gay men uh straight men who

turn on some gay porn let me tell you you're gonna get a heart on and you're gonna masturbate yourself off because you're gonna find the heart you really are And that goes the other way around because it really is, it's a beautiful thing.

All sex is a beautiful thing.

It's attraction, it's intimacy, and so on and so forth.

Yeah, honestly, it's just hard.

It's so important that you said that because I think the message that we want to send is that any sex is nice.

I'm filming him and he's drinking wine, guys.

I am too.

But I think at the end of the day,

the message that we want to send is any sex is good sex.

Sex is sexy.

Sex is sex.

It doesn't matter if you like a girl, if you like a guy, if you're married, if you want one partner, if you want many partners.

really, if it's between two

consulting,

I'm getting drunk.

Consenting though.

Consulting.

Yeah, you're consenting and you're consulting.

If you're having a good time and if it's good,

I've been a consultant for sex as well.

See, there you go.

What did you not do?

By the way, this guy's a movie producer.

We have to talk about his movie.

I mean, there is so much we gotta talk to you about.

I'm a playboy, turned model, turned doctor, turned movie producer, turned, turned movie star.

It's all good.

And as a matter of fact, 16 minutes into this episode, the subject.

I've done nothing.

No, we have done a lot.

It's very rich.

But what I wanted to ask you about is

last episode we were bantering and laughing and everything, but there is a little bit more serious side of what we're talking about, which is how we end up getting sexualized.

So maybe we can talk about this like for 10 minutes.

And what I want to say about when we're off,

you know, we're all sexualized

on some level.

I mean, I think probably for this community, women believe that, you know, women are more sexualized in many ways.

You're looked at in certain ways, you're judged in certain ways.

You know, we go back to the sort of 1990s standard of like, you know, what you see in media.

Instagram obviously does the same thing.

So, I mean, these are all very big pieces of this.

But we are sexualized.

But I want to kind of debunk aspects of this.

Okay.

The external world sexualizes we are, but we can also embrace our own sexuality and understand how that works.

And I think that's a really important piece.

I mean, okay, so can I share my own allude to my own life?

Please, please, please.

So

I'm a medical doctor.

I went to medical school.

And when I was in my residency,

I was

a well-known person in New York lifestyle circles.

And I ended up goggo dancing at a club.

Can I tell my viewers, like, you are super famous in,

can I, I mean, I don't want to give out too much.

No, no, you're fine.

But you are super famous in, especially in London.

And I'm in movies.

And I'm in so-and-so.

So I have a public life as well.

But back then I was also a model.

I modeled for a very major fashion designer.

And

I had a friend who worked for one of the biggest clubs in New York City, a gay club.

And he was like, look,

I want you to dance.

I just want you to go go dance.

You know, which is basically wearing the least amount of clothing you can and performing on a stage.

And I wore the least amount of clothing I could.

And by the way, you didn't do it because you needed the money.

Because you don't need the money.

You did it because you're comfortable with your body.

I want to change it.

I don't really care.

And it's like, you know what?

This was fun.

This is fun for me.

I did modeling for the same reason.

I really didn't need the money.

I really didn't care.

I did it for fun.

And I mean, I'm going to just say this straight out, right?

The first night,

I took home 10 grand.

Yeah, you said it.

I'm like, holy shit.

Right.

And I kept doing it and I kept doing it.

I kept doing it.

And there's two pieces to it.

I love the adoration.

I'm going to say outright.

I love the adoration of the people who are watching me, who wanted me.

They actually wanted me.

And I admit it, they were paying to want me at some levels but a lot of a lot of sorry to interrupt but a lot of people that are artists they like that yeah right so it's okay with that

you want to be out of life but it's okay with that right you like to be watched right i like to be watched yeah i'm the same way i like to i like when people look at my pictures i like modeling i like anything that's what the likes are on it yeah right like like like like right but i mean you know i realized at one point of my life that i was going to be sexualized that's not all of me i'm a doctor i'm educated i'm well traveled i'm i'm nobility i'm everything else but it's like there was something about that that was beautiful and when i learned to accept it and embrace it it was everything

you know it's like all right i have a body i have this and what is wrong with me actually being able to like say enjoy it yeah you know look at it love it um it is so amazing Sorry, I'm going to do a parenthesis.

It's incredible to me that you're saying that because in so many ways we have the same lives, because the fact that you're showing your body and you love doing that, you're in a Google dancing, doesn't make you a dumb, stupid person.

And my life was always this parallel.

I'm modeling, I'm modeling, I'm...

acting whatever the silly things I did TV commercials but I'm like I also have a brain I also have a brain.

And in your case, I was in medical school.

Yeah, you're like, hello, I'm doing this because I like it.

It's not because I'm like, because many times people look at somebody dancing like, oh, he's so dumb.

They look like me.

Oh, she's such a dumb, blonde bimbo.

And when I tell people, no, I actually have college degrees.

And they're like, what?

I'm like, yes.

I actually have a brain, but it's super interesting that you're saying that because many times you show your body because you want to it doesn't mean it's because you want to sell it out because you're a stupid idiot and and and on that note um and and i i told you this the other day you know when i was when i was go-go dancing uh donna i wish i could see do you have a video of that i do i'm sure i'll luckily it's before internet um Donna Karen, the well-known fashion designer in New York, Donna Karen came in, coked out of her head and drunk out of her head, but we love her.

We love her for that.

Different stories, different stories um

and she came in and she sat down with her entourage and i was dancing and she loved me and she pulled me off the stage and you know basically got me drunk and everything else for the rest of the night i say everything else but anyway uh and she said to me she says i'm sending you a car in the morning and i didn't believe her She sent me a car that morning.

I went to her studio.

And we spent literally the next few days together.

And she hired me.

I spent five years modeling for Donna Cameron.

But what she said about me, she goes, you're not your usual person.

She's like, all these other boys are up there basically just gyrating and showing off their hot bodies.

Yeah.

She goes, you're intelligent.

You are a human being.

You've traveled the globe.

She's like, I love you.

She's like, it's just like you are a human being.

You're not just an other plastic.

Yes.

And, you know, life's fantastic when you're plastic.

I get it.

But it's easier.

Right.

Right.

But I had a personality.

I wasn't doing it for money.

I was doing it because I loved who I was.

I loved everything about me.

And I was comfortable in my body and comfortable in my soul.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

I love, love it so much that you're willing to share like something so intimate about yourself.

Because my message, if you see all my work, I always tell people, you can take a sexy picture if you want.

I don't care if you're fat, if you're thin, if you're old.

You can dance.

You can be a strip.

You can be whatever the hell you want.

And that doesn't make you less of a person.

You can still be an intelligent human being.

And makes you a stronger person if you know

if you don't do it.

But my point of it was about actual sexuality and like we are sexualized.

And I realized then, you know, I'm current stage.

There's literally 1,000 gay men throwing money at me.

I'm a sexual nature.

I got it.

That's okay, you know, and we have to learn how to be able to integrate that within who we are as a person.

I understand there's negative aspects to being sexualized as well.

Yes.

You know, because there's dangerous aspects to it, too.

But, you know, it really is embracing those pieces.

I think everything in life comes with the pros and the cons.

So, yeah, of course, if we do, and I always say that, and I'm sure you relate, every time you have a public job, like let's say now it's social media, Instagram.

The first thing last night I was talking to a guy and he's like, Oh, I really want to meet you.

And to be honest with you, when I saw your profile, it's some

high-end, I was making a joke, it's some app that you need to be invited.

And I got this invitation two years ago from a girlfriend, and for two years, they wouldn't accept me.

You're not league worthy.

You're not, and I was making fun of it.

And, anyways, I was talking to this guy on the phone last night and he said, Honestly, I thought your profile was fake.

And I'm like, Why?

Oh, because your pictures are so beautiful and you don't put any information about yourself.

And I said, well, first of all,

yeah.

Number one, our pictures are many times our work.

They're not all about us.

It's just one chunk of it.

So, yes, that's the negative side.

We work with social media.

You do movies, you're in like 10 million newspapers, magazines, tabloids.

I would assume that's a little bit of a negative about,

right, getting the, because I'm not even, I'm not famous, you're famous, but I get a lot of

people look at my pictures.

Oh,

how much can I pay you?

Are you a whore?

By the way, I'm not, but well, I would consider it, no, I would not.

Cash.

Yeah, I know, cash only.

Cash app is.

I know.

This is my cash app.

Exactly.

But that's how people look at my Instagram.

Huh?

You're getting no, but it's really, I live off of my image and we sell a dream.

If we're saying, oh, this wine is great, nobody wants to see ugly, depressed, crying people.

They want to see beautiful, gorgeous.

It doesn't matter what's happening in my life.

People living a life.

Yeah, they don't care if my dog is sick.

They don't care if I don't have money.

They don't care if I'm crying.

They want to see a dream.

That's what we sell, right?

Yeah, I don't show a picture of me like sitting in my closet depressed and drinking, you know,

school vodka.

um i shall picture me i shall picture me on yacht yeah

exactly we're selling an image and i want to have the people around in my personal life i think if you were going to be in my personal life you need to understand the difference do you feel the same way with your personal relationships absolutely uh and i think most people in my personal life

are following the ups and downs of my existence and are there 100%.

That might be four people.

The other five.

But that's good, right?

We close the circle more and more and more.

That's protection.

Yeah, I was telling you off-camera, and you know a lot about my story more than my viewers.

After my husband died, I used to think I had 100, you know, I call them champagne friends.

When your life is great, yeah, you throw a party at a fancy hotel and you have 90, 100 bottles of Clico, you have 500 friends.

And then if you're in need and you're going through trouble, they're they're like oh who's this person you don't exist you don't exist exactly and then when our podcast hits number one

they're like hi Kat Drew can I come to your party bring up your party I mean exactly I mean I throw huge parties as well it's the same thing it's like I know that the people who are coming to my parties are there for well the champagne

and basically to be seen.

Yeah.

Which again goes back to sexualization on some levels.

Yeah.

And it's like, fine.

I mean, I'm okay.

Look, I'm totally okay with some sort of shallow aspects of everything from sexuality to to

social media to everything else.

They all serve a purpose.

They serve a purpose when we actually are comfortable with ourselves.

And back to sexualization.

Sexualization can be a negative piece, but at the same time, it's like, you know, look, it is something that...

If you're comfortable with yourself, you're comfortable with your body, you're comfortable with who you are, then fucking embrace it.

Show it off.

I've done so many nude photo shoots in my life i know you know in in my 20s and 30s my body was fucking perfect it still is by the way guys yeah okay well he's crazy i think his mirror i'm gonna give you a new mirror his mirror is broken

um you know and as i've aged you know 100 years later it's like you know

you you have lusted it but i don't i've never lost that I'm still love who I am.

I still love myself.

And I'm still happy with nothing because I'm a sexual human being by nature.

And that should be shared.

And don't ever, whether you're, you know,

a large model, whether you're whatever you are,

be who you are.

And Jesus Christ, embrace it.

Jesus Christ, we're coming back for a third one because this is getting so freaking good.

It's getting serious.

It's cat on the loose with the drools.

It's 29 minutes and a half.

I have a few more questions I want to ask you.

We'll be right back.

This is a happy, happy, happy Friday.