A Guy answers your questions about dating, how soon is too soon to have sex, and more!

Hi guys, happy Tuesday.

So today is a super cool episode and I'm very excited because I'm here for you guys that listen to all my episodes with the super cool cute guy that had the horrible Super Bowl date.

And I don't think I can say her name right.

No, so can I call you cute guy?

Sure.

Thank you for doing this and welcome back.

Well, it's great to be here.

Thanks for having me back.

I want to tell people that I did not write down any questions.

We decided we're going to

do it very organic.

Like I do all of my episodes, but it's the first time I don't even have like anything written down.

What I want to ask you is,

we talked about it off air.

Last week, I interviewed my guest expert, April Davis, right?

She's a dating relationship expert.

And the question I ask her that a lot of girls send me is, let's say you go out on a date and you really, really like the guy

how

soon is chosen to have sex i was wondering like if you go on the second date can you just go for it and have sex her answer was no you gotta wait

because nobody's gonna want to have a relationship with you if you just have sex on the same the second date and i got bombarded by people that disagree with her some girls agree with her but now i wonder what do girls say like what do girls oh some girls say yeah she's completely right because if you do that it means the guy just wants wants to have sex and you know the girls that disagree with her what are the girls the girls that this i personally disagree because i don't know how to play these games because she said wait for two months right and i'm thinking how old is this woman sorry i don't mean it to be rude and expert expert opinion is this someone older than 40 no 50 no and she she's young she's younger than that yeah and she's an expert she's i mean i'm not gonna i'm not gonna eye-mouth experts or yeah i'm no expert i know i'm gonna tell you that it doesn't lie but the question is since you're a guy, let's start from the beginning.

Do you think if you go on a date with a girl you really, really like, we're not just talking about like quick sex, a girl that you really, really like.

You guys talk for one month, two months via text, and you have a fantastic date.

Then you plan a second date.

If she has sex with you, does that mean you're not going to want a relationship with her?

Absolutely not.

That doesn't mean that at all.

What happens in that situation, I think you got to go back to the very beginning here and recognize that like if you're having a good time with someone, there's no time frame period.

Like I don't think guys look at things quite like if I wait three months or three dates or six dates or whatever, that it's going to change the opinion or the, you know, the way that you feel about somebody.

If you like someone and like if it just works that way, like you have a good date, everything feels great, you're having a great time, great night.

Why are you just like, okay, I'm going to drop you off and have a nice night?

I mean, some people do that, some people don't, but it doesn't change the variables.

Like, if you want to be with someone tomorrow, well, that's the other thing too, right?

So if you go out on a date with someone, you have a good time, and then that evening,

you know, something happens and it's good, why would you not want to call them back?

I completely agree.

And I'm so glad you gave that answer.

So, like, okay, so you go out, you have a good time, everything feels good.

There's no reason why you wouldn't want to be with them again.

Yeah.

Right?

So it's just that that kind of carries no weight.

I don't know.

Me personally, if I like someone, I'm going to spend as much time as I can with him.

And then that's pretty much it.

And there is another thing too.

If you go out with somebody and

the way the expert said is, well, if you're a girl, you should make the guy wait because if he really likes you, he's not going to mind waiting.

One month, two months, three months.

There's no grown man.

Okay.

I mean, and I say this like over the age of 30, there's no grown professional man that is going to do absolutely nothing but sit on his hands and wait for you to be ready to have sex with him whenever that time should come.

I'm telling you, unfortunately,

I'm probably going to give up a lot of bro code here, but I'm just going to be, I'm going to say it.

I don't know if this comes out the wrong way, but in these instances,

you have to understand like men can really like you and go and sleep with somebody else.

Like that's a fact.

Oops.

Yeah, that can happen.

But why do you guys do that?

Because we think with our penises.

It has nothing to do with our heart and what our brain wants us to do.

But the fact is, our penis says, okay, I really like this girl.

She's great.

But I got to get my rocks off tonight.

So I'm going to pick up the phone.

I'm going to call someone to put out.

This is what happens.

So this idea that, oh,

I really like this guy.

This guy really likes me.

We have the fantastic first date.

But...

He's going to wait for me.

I'm going to make him wait and wait and wait and wait.

It might backfire, right?

The guy is going to lie to your face and say, I'm going home to bed.

And he's going to pick up the phone and creep some other girl that he knows he's going to put out.

Because he wants to have sex.

Because he's an animal.

Okay.

He's an animal.

And he has animalistic urges, which is to get laid.

And it has nothing to do with personal relationships.

He has, he could really like you.

But unfortunately, the facts are the facts is that he's got to

get what he wants.

And that's really what it's going to be.

And I'm not saying all men are like that, but I'm just saying it's highly improbable that someone is going to wait several months to sleep with someone an adult like a grown-ass adult you may be 20 and maybe able to pull it off but I seriously doubt and I'm not against your expert I'm just giving you real no but that's what we want to hear because really this show is about opening up dialogue and of course like I said not every guy is the same not every girl is the same yeah the expert has her opinion but I wanted to hear the the guy's point of view

I'm trying to do this gently without being a total dog about it it's not so seedy and shady like that it is but it doesn't come across like that like it's like oh i'm going home i'm going to bed yeah good night and something else

yeah something else is going to go down or they're going to go on a nap or they're going to go on something else and their their attention is going to sway to their penis before it sways back to to you and you're you're playing with fire and you know girls don't understand that when you try and use vagina as a reason to keep a guy around it's a bad idea

i don't mean that badly but you don't know what you're up against, is what I'm trying to tell you.

But it's funny that I completely agree with you because I have another guy friend.

This is what he told me.

He said, well, but if you're waiting two months, let's say you waited for two months and then you have sex and sex was horrible because chemistry is so important.

So I kind of agree with him.

If I really like a guy and I go on a date and the second date is going really well, I want to see it happening because I want to know, well, do we really have incredible chemistry or should we just move on?

Right?

I think the most important chemistry you can have is when you're intimate with someone, right?

I agree.

It really truly determines what kind of chemistry that you have, whether you like them or whether you don't.

But at the same time, too, like

again, like, I highly caution the waiting approach, not the waiting approach, just you know, if it feels right, you do what feels right and then you move on.

But trying to use the term pussy for hostage doesn't

it doesn't it doesn't really do very well you know what i mean so sorry i know i really love that you said that and it's very interesting because i mean you're a guy and you're being super honest about it

so this is why i don't use my name

but i appreciate it anyways and you deserve your privacy so in your case um i by the way he's single

and i don't think you want to get well you're too young to to get married right

okay i appreciate that you don't want to get married

you don't know i i it's not not that i don't want to get married i just i don't believe in divorce is that a better way to explain it yeah i know that it's tough but my question is have you been in this situation that you really liked a girl and you took her for one date and then you had sex with her on the on the second or third date and you still went out with her more times

i've i've been with uh you know girls on the first night that i've dated them and ended up with them for years really yeah of course

yeah again i keep trying to tell you that like when you try and um like when an expert tries to evaluate a situation based on you know past experiences between two other people everything bases itself on the two people that are in that situation yeah you can generally say that okay you know i won't do this for whatever but if she really this expert if she really liked a guy like really liked a guy and everything just felt right even your expert would be banning the guy.

Well, she's married.

I don't know.

Okay, okay.

I was going to ask her how long she waited before she had sex with her husband.

But I mean, and that's another thing that she said to me.

Well, I know in Miami things happen faster, and she's not from Miami.

But I don't think it's a Miami, I don't think it's a geography thing, do you?

No,

it's a penis and a vagina version.

It has nothing more than that.

What you got to understand is that men operate on two particular things, okay?

They operate for sport.

Like they try to hook up with a girls strictly out of sport, as in like...

I want to to have sex.

No, you're just a vagina and whatever.

I don't even know your name.

And that's it.

Yeah, that's a good thing.

Exactly.

They go home.

And that's sport, right?

And then there's the other ones that people actually like each other.

There's intimacy, there's emotion, it feels good, you like the person you're sleeping with.

And in those places, it's making love, you know, that kind of stuff, right?

I wish you guys could see his face.

I'm making love.

But in that, in that, that's what I'm saying.

Those are your two options.

So when you try and muddy the waters between sport and that,

it's going to backfire.

So now that you said that, is tell us the truth, us girls.

Is there a way that a girl, because I get this question all the time.

How the hell do we know if a guy just wants to be a player, like, let's have a one-night stand, or if he's really, if he wants a relationship, is there a way to figure it out or not?

Yeah, exactly.

It's really easy too.

It's called opening your mouth and saying, what is the time like what what deal what's up like what's up do you just want to me or do you want is there something but wait i have guy friends that tell me they tell girls whatever the hell they want to hear if they want to have sex those are called scumbags there's a lot of those guys out there but what happens is is some guys are called scumbags yeah but i'm like why lie that's what i'm trying to tell you i think i'm going to make you my new male guest

can you please come back every month

but what i mean is that like you know there are guys that are bold-faced liars, and they're going to lie to you whether you tell them the truth or whether, you know, I'm saying, like, whether you're trying to be straightforward with them, they're still going to lie to you.

Even though they have absolutely zero reason to lie, they still feel that maybe the better thing to do is to protect you because they don't want to, whatever.

But if you're an adult and, you know, honest, and you're just like, so what's the deal?

Well, I just want to sleep with you.

I just got out of a relationship.

I don't really feel like any of something.

Or, you know, I'm too busy with work or whatever.

You can say that, like, straightforward.

100%.

there came a time in you tell the girl straight to the face like my grandmother always used to tell me that um

women's emotions are a loaded weapon right why because if you fuck with a girl's emotion she's gonna fucking kill you right okay it's just that simple no no really if you if you push that hard you're gonna get a reaction of the woman that you don't want so why lie the point is why lie like if you're i know i agree i think like you said only a scumbag would do that because just why would you hurt people right?

I realized when I got to a certain age that if I could tell a girl whatever the fuck I wanted to tell her, and if she didn't like it, the doors were closed.

Right, right.

And when you kind of go into it with that approach, like, hey, look, this is who I am.

This is what I want.

This is what I'm looking for.

And if you don't like it, hey, that's cool.

You're a great girl.

I really get along with you.

Let's come back.

Let's be friends.

Instagram.

We'll see you around.

That kind of stuff.

And that is totally noble.

And you don't have to love and hook up with every single person you meet.

Yeah.

But the people that you do explain your situation to, and they're like, hey, I'm cool with that.

Great.

Because some girls want the same.

I know a lot of girls that they're not ready for, especially when you're going through a divorce or a bad breakup.

Some girls are like, you know, I just want to have sex.

And some girls find it very refreshing that you're just straight up.

Yeah.

And not even straight up, there's just no reason to lie.

Like, it's just that, like, when girls are very smart.

And most girls that have been through bullshit with guys can pick apart your story in six seconds.

So they're going to find out that they can look at you and tell you a fucking

thing right away.

So, what is the point?

Just say, Hey, look, this is it.

This is my situation, this is what I like, this is what I don't like.

If we're cool, let's call each other tomorrow or let's see each other tomorrow.

And that's really what it is.

And you know what?

It's usually those circumstances that grow into better things because your foundation is honestly friendship.

And that works now.

It kind of there is the other side of that, which is like, Okay, listen, I'm dating two other girls.

I'm kind of new in this situation.

I just got out of a relationship.

I don't, and some girls are like, that's cool, me too.

I'm on the same thing.

And that'll start for a week, two weeks, a month.

Then feelings happen and then situations change.

And then that's a whole other issue called.

You know, you start honest, and sometimes honesty can be too hard.

No, I completely, I like to start everything.

Me personally, I like to be super upfront.

And I think my one rule is like, no lies.

So I despise people.

I'm a grown-ass woman.

Yeah, but I just don't like games.

Like, that's why for me, this two-month, oh, wait, wait, I would never do that if i like the guy i want to kiss him and what the next date i want to have sex and i want to know if we get along but it's interesting that you're saying that because you're right guys can be super honest about it too that's right now uh how do you feel about these dating apps because most of my guy friends tell me that most guys are on dating apps for quick sex hookups.

Most guys are walking the streets for quick sex hookups.

It doesn't make a difference.

Please, I don't know.

It's so shocking to you that you're not.

So it has nothing to do with the app.

No, it doesn't do with the app.

I keep telling you, men are animals with penises.

I don't get over the fact that every guy walking down the street is looking at you.

He's like, I'd fuck her right now if I could.

It's just the way it is.

It's just, it's just the real.

So yes, they're using dating apps to do what they've got to do, but at the same time, like...

So when you guys are walking around, you're looking at girls like, hmm, I want to have sex.

Are you joking?

Of course.

Listen, every guy walks by, every girl, and a half brief moment in time thinks about, is there a potential that I could get with you?

Even if you're in a relationship?

Even if you're in a relationship.

That's interesting.

That's not shocking.

It's that old adage that like women own your heart, but your penis is always yours, right?

Have you ever heard of that?

I never heard that before.

Yeah, like you can give your woman your heart, but your penis will always be hers.

So like, look, I'm not, not because I'm Italian, but let's just be real.

Like men walk down the street and look at a girl and they're like, okay, look, can I ask you a question?

If you were with a guy and a beautiful woman walked down the street and the guy didn't look at the beautiful woman, wouldn't you be like, that's a little fucked up?

In a strange way?

Like, it's the same way as, like, if I'm on Instagram, obviously, okay, there's girls that you don't like their photos and there's girls that you like their photos.

But if you see an attractive woman and that's a nice shot, you look alike, it's not a good idea.

I think looking at people is a great idea, even if you're married.

I think it's a great idea to look at beautiful people.

If you know, if you can't appreciate a beautiful woman, and your your woman is that insecure that you can't look at another woman and be like, wow, she's not pretty.

But there are guys that are in relationships and it doesn't mean they want to cheat, right?

Of course,

that's what I'm trying to tell you.

Look, I mean, maybe this is just myself in my particular situation, but if I see a woman that is attractive, not that I'm going to say something or like, oh, wow, I'm going to stick my tongue out and open my mouth like I'm some cornball, but it's just like, wow, she's really pretty.

And if you know me as a personality, I'm going, you know, that's just who I am.

I just always have been that way.

And that's part of the honesty thing.

That if you don't like me looking, looking, not doing anything,

if that's a problem, then we're a problem, right?

And I'm not going to be able to do that.

But I'm the same because I love looking at beautiful people.

I like looking at beautiful men and I like looking at beautiful girls.

I think it's amazing and it's

an important part of life.

Absolutely.

But that's flirting.

You know, it's different than...

Can I ask you a question?

When you see a pretty guy that's a waiter or whatever, you're in a situation where you're with someone and you may be like, hey, how are you?

yeah you're overly nice or like

do people you're with find that as uh maybe a you know i think men yeah i think men can be more possessive like why are you looking at that guy why are you flirting and i have had problems like that in the past because i am by nature very flirtatious and i mean nothing by it yeah i am super loyal to the person i'm with but i love looking like you said i like flirting and laughing and looking beautiful people in general i don't mean this disrespectfully but just the way that I was raised was always if you have nothing nice to say to someone don't say anything at all so it's not being flirtatious but you can go up to someone who's obviously not attractive and be like hey beautiful and what's going on can I get a table or you know can I you know but usually men don't like if their their girlfriend does that because they're insecure yeah probably it's not that they don't like it's different standards for guys I was always the guy that when I grew up I had you know attractive girlfriends so if you can By the way, guys, he's super, he's more than cute.

He's very attractive.

He's very handsome.

He's adorable.

And he's not from Miami because I know the girls are going to be like, Oh, he's flirting.

He's singing.

I want to make this clear.

I live in Miami.

He's here for the season, but I don't think any of these conversations have anything to do with geography.

No, it doesn't.

It doesn't.

It's people are people.

I agree.

I think, I mean, I

is a tough.

Don't say that.

Miami girls are a whole separate.

They are.

Yeah.

Separate.

Like, why?

Because most of them just, well, first of all, let's be honest, a lot of them are working and they want money, right?

A lot of them.

My friends don't know what they're doing.

Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes.

Although, I guess essentially, not that they're all working, but it's like you meet a girl and they come with caveats.

Like, can I take you to dinner?

Yeah, I'll go to poppy steaks.

Yeah, the most they pick, the most

pawns.

These are my options.

I'm giving you a fucking joke.

I know.

It's like, it's not even that.

And then essentially, when you get them to these places, they're not even looking at you.

They're just

looking around the room to see who else is there.

Not all of them, not all of them, but there are quite a few.

I agree with you.

That is just, that doesn't mean you want a date.

We talked about it before.

They just want to like date.

Those aren't Miami girls, really.

Those are girls that are from Miami that come to Miami and just try to get in, just want to be partake in the Miami is

no, let's be honest.

That's just, that's just nasty because it's not even about wanting a date.

That's just like, I want to use you to go to a nice place.

So that's 100 million percent disgusting.

And I know you told me that before.

And I have a lot of my guy friends that tell me they meet a nice girl, and the girl's like, oh, let's go to, yeah, copy steak, let's go to Carbon.

By the way, these are like the fanciest happening places in mind.

But I think if you like someone, you're like, hey, let's grab a cup of coffee.

I know, but there's actually right down the street from here, there's a really great restaurant.

It's quiet, it's good food.

You act like someone.

I don't know.

If I said to a girl, hey, would you like to go to this this place like i've never heard of it let's go here you got what i'm saying that's not i'm asking you if we want to come to dinner so we can get to know each other you can't get to know someone at fucking poppy states no like it's just

you can get to know somebody like at star no you can't say right but i mean it's just i guess gentlemanly say hey

and you know that kind of stuff but it can be like a tiny little italy

it doesn't have to be something crazy it's just so many you essentially want to get to know someone like it's hard to get to know someone and actually you get to know someone more when you bring it to those fucked up places

like that's just the kind of not the kind of person i want to be with or or the kind of person that they're like fuck this place is crazy let's get out of here yeah cool you know so it's weird it's it's a really fine and that's part of the problem with dating advertising the other thing is it's so much fucking work i know it's so ridiculous like you have to get past the like what do you say okay so you match with someone and it's like hey uh where do you live where are you from what do you do for you know the usual baseless conversational shit that takes like fucking three weeks to get through and then if you try to be forward and you're like hey you want to meet up sometime they're like i'd like to get to know you a little further.

Then, fuck that.

Let's exchange numbers.

I don't give my numbers.

So it's this fine dance between like some people are too forward, some people are too slow.

Some take too long.

And a lot of them lie too.

That's not the creepy thing.

They put pictures there.

Gotcha.

And then by the time they meet them, they're like, what?

Guys, guys lie about everything.

They're fucking.

Girls, too.

Girls, not so much because there's nothing.

There's not so much they can lie about.

Guys don't give a fuck.

As long as you're hot, they don't care what you're lying about.

It doesn't, it's irrelevant.

They don't care what your job is.

I mean, it's respectful.

No, but I'm talking about

it.

Someone's reading your bio.

Is that a better way to explain it?

No one's reading your bio.

They're looking at your photos like, hey, she's cute, swipe, swipes, wipe.

I want to bang her.

I want to bang her.

That's what it is.

What are you doing this weekend?

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's kind of how the brain of a male operates on a dating app.

But in the work that goes into it, and you know, getting a girl comfortable to meet some random dude on the fucking internet, men lie on all of their fucking, you know, shit like that.

Like, just, it's the same way girls look better in a image retouch photo than they do

nowadays it's a little hard to lie because you ask the guy's name when you're gonna go on a date and you can look at his Instagram LinkedIn right at least to protect yourself and make sure the person is telling you the truth yeah my name oh I was gonna say my name but my name I almost said

my name actually you know when you google my name it's like you know I obviously I check out but it's I do not google your name but I mean my name is very google google because obviously my whole work is public, so I tell people I'm from

my name, right?

Yeah, well, I don't know if you are, but

actually, there's another Filipino with the same name as me, it's really random, it's like the exact same name, some Filipino guy.

I gotta check that out.

By the way, the dogs barking on the background is because while we're doing this, our dogs are having a play date.

My dog loves his dog and buys it.

So, before I let you go,

you were here the first time because you had the nastiest date.

That woman is the bitch from hell.

I haven't had a date since then, actually.

So if you guys didn't listen to that episode, you have to listen to that episode.

The worst Super Bowl day.

I mean, doing that to anybody on any date, but like Super Bowl, messing with somebody's life like that, I mean, really, the karma that girl's going to have.

So that was my question.

Have you had nice dates?

No, I actually don't think I've been on a date.

You're taking a break?

Yeah, I'm just a little tired right now.

It's a little exhausting.

No, no, it's just.

I agree.

The dating world is like a little exhausting.

So sometimes a break is good.

That's not like it.

Believe me, it doesn't, I don't carry that to every girl I meet.

It's not like that.

It's just like one of those things.

You know, I've gotten to a point where I'm just, you know, I'm good.

Yeah, you're good at the moment.

You want to have like a nice, fun, relaxing summer.

I know.

A lot of us are saying that one of my friends who is like a dog trainer, he just posted this thing on his Instagram.

The more spend time with people the more I like my dog because most people suffer so bad and then people wonder why we love our dogs

but honestly I don't I don't I'm not harboring it it's not like I'm upset that that happened it happened you lick your wounds you move on yeah of course like I said I believe in karma I don't know if you do and I think the karma on her is like a bitch I just can't wait to run into her somewhere in Miami one day just I hope when you run into her you like have this gorgeous girl and you like

trust me I just need to make eye contact with her and she she will run very i know far so so the end of the story is in this super adorable handsome successful guy he's very successful by the way um is this bs about waiting one month two months three months whatever before having sex is probably gonna backfire like i said don't use the vagina as a weapon i completely agree with with you on this

you just don't understand who you're up against is that a better way to win it is?

You don't understand the levels to which men will be scumbags.

I think that's what girls need to understand.

I think I do.

Sometimes when you think you have the nicest, sweetest guy, sadly, most girls will agree that six years later or six months later, you realize, wow, what a fucking piece of shit he was.

I know.

Just remember that, girls.

Remember men think with their penis.

Just so the

summary is do it, it feels natural, right?

If it feels natural.

You like each other, do it, you don't like each other.

100%.

If there are red flags, if there's one thing I learned

from my horrible experiences and this podcast if you see red flags run I don't know and if you like it I don't know about that let's be honest

stop for one sec if you see a red flag i'm a red flag i'm you know in my 40s i've never been married i've never had kids you know how many girls think that's a red flag i i guess it's a red flag it depends what you're looking for like you said maybe yeah i guess you're right if what you're looking for becomes a red flag then maybe but red flags there's a whole that's a whole podcast

that's a whole maybe you can come back and we'll do a turbo we're gonna be like my guy expert.

The red flag episode.

Thank you so much.

This was so much.

It goes by so fast.

26 minutes.

This is Cat on the Loose.

And if you guys want to send questions, I know they're going to be like, I want to see you.

I want to see you.

Send me DMs, send me an email.

My WhatsApp is public, unfortunately, 305-332-0338.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not that good.

And hopefully you'll come back for one more before he takes off

for the summer.

Maybe we'll do Zoom during the summer.

Thank you so much.

You're awesome.

Thanks a lot.

Bye, guys.

See you soon.