Interview with April Davis- Founder of LUMA - Luxury Matchmaking

Hi guys, happy Wednesday, happy hump day.

And today, it's so much fun because it's the first time we have our expert guest.

She's a recurring guest now.

She's going to be here every month with us answering your questions.

April Davis, founder of Luma Luxury Matchmaker.

Hi, April.

Hey, hi.

Thanks for having me.

Thank you so much for doing this.

So the people that watch Cat on the Loo,

that listen to Cat on the Looze every month, they know they listen to your past interviews.

And when I said you were coming back, I was telling you, I got like well over a hundred messages about people wanting to ask you questions.

So, thank you so much for coming back.

Awesome, all.

I love it.

It's always a fun time.

So, thanks for having me.

Yeah, and apparently, I mean, when I started interviewing you, I realized that there is a lot of questions and doubts, and this whole mystique about working with a matchmaker.

I know now that it's not like that scary and difficult and complicated just from talking to you, but it's nice that you know people out there have this access to you and you can clarify whatever doubts they have.

So, let's shoot since we have so much.

Are you ready?

Okay, now, guys,

all the questions today were sent by you.

There's not like like one question that is my personal question so number one why do I not me Catherine some girl out there

but I do too why do I keep attracting the wrong type of men

well I would say maybe it's the other way around maybe she's attracted to the wrong type of men and then they end up having some character traits that she doesn't like about them.

So for example, I see people oftentimes that they go after somebody that has a certain look or has a certain kind of career but they also

maybe don't have the value system that somebody that wants a relationship is looking for or maybe they're they're just their core values are so far off so then they're like well I'm attracting the wrong kinds of guys.

And really, it's like, no, because you're going after you are attracted to the wrong kinds of guys.

Maybe, maybe it is that the wrong kinds of guys are coming to her because she's not maybe taking the proactive approach and selecting who she wants.

She's just waiting for whoever

to come up to her and just taking, you know, and it's not proactive.

So if you're leaving it up to fate,

I say, quote unquote, fate, then you're going to get whatever comes your way.

And that's not typically the kind of person that you may want.

2021 women have to go after what they want.

And not saying necessarily have to, you know, chase after the guy.

I'm saying you have to make it yourself available so he can

do it.

He can talk to you.

It's interesting that you said that because you did say that before, and I think all of us girls forget about it.

We need to find somebody with similar values, right?

We need to be picky.

I don't think there is any point in going out with someone who doesn't want the same things that we do, right, April?

Exactly, exactly.

And it's interesting that

you have a profile.

What was that?

Sorry, guys, our connection with April is a little bad because she's really far away.

What did you say, April?

I just said that it's sometimes, you know, you just, oh, I can't even, I can't remember what we were just talking about.

So, sorry.

The girl that said, why do I keep attracting the wrong men?

Right, right, right.

Yes, of course.

But,

yeah, I think you have to look at the core values.

Okay, that's what it was.

to say.

Yeah.

Right.

You can't see them in their profile.

You know, you have to know somebody on their core values.

Yeah, so true.

That is actually a good reason for somebody to use a matchmaker because from what I understand, you do that

funeral.

Like basic basically you figure out, let's say for me, you would figure out the guys that want similar things and have the same values as me correct as opposed to an app like you said these things are not going to be in a nap

well when you meet someone and there's attraction oftentimes those people will try to mold themselves to you and they'll say oh yeah i'd like to go to the ballet too although they've only been to it once in their life or they might say yeah family is really important to me

whatever they're going to change their answers to kind of be what they think you're looking for and they're not genuine being themselves until later when it's too late, you find out who they really are.

And that's where a matchmaker can be really helpful because we ask all those important questions so far before we introduce anyone to each other.

So we're really getting to know who that person is and what's most important to them, what their values are, and matching people accordingly.

It sounds amazing because, let's be honest about it, dating is exhausting.

It is.

It It can be a lot of work, that's for sure.

It is.

Especially when you live in Miami.

That's a whole other subject, but we are going to ask you about that.

Okay, so let's skip to this question.

Five Miami girls sent me the same question.

Is it possible to meet somebody nice in Miami or forget it, just change the geography?

Absolutely.

There are plenty of people that are married or coupled up in Miami, so there's plenty of people out there that

want a relationship.

And you just have to make sure you're looking in the right places and for the right kinds of people.

And understand that, you know, there's Miami's kind of like Vegas in a way.

Yes.

But there's, there's a lot of people that live, you know, on the outsources in different parts of Vegas that, you know, are married, they have families, and there's, there's a different, it's a different environment.

Not everybody has that, like, the strip mentality.

And so it's looking for people that maybe,

you know aren't going out to clubs, not you know, in the burning scene at all, you know, or maybe more focused on their career or whatever family it could be,

or maybe it's their education, just depending on where they are in life.

And, you know, again, finding somebody that has similar core values to you and not just somebody that is

to hook up with someone.

You know, I saw today that Tinder is the number one dating app.

It is.

Oh my god.

Yeah, and I think that's indicative of the culture that we're in.

Yeah, I'm not sure I consider Tinder a dating app.

I consider it more like a hookup app because I think most people there, they want to hook up, don't you think so?

Yeah, that's what it's known for.

Bumbles, number two, and then, but actually, Facebook is the number one dating app, even though Facebook

has dating functionality to it, but I didn't know that

it was.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know you can date on Facebook.

Yeah.

Well, so people were using it as a dating app before it had the dating functionality.

That was just more recently

introduced.

But

they just you can see friends of

send finding requests and then ask people out.

And I think that's actually a great way to meet somebody because you can kind of get a feel for who they

are by looking at their profile and then talking to them.

Yeah.

A little more organic.

At least they can't lie about their

at least if they're using Facebook, they can't lie about their photos and what they do and their education.

Although, some people do lie,

they make like fake Facebook,

anyways.

So, there is hope for us Miami girls.

We just have to look at the right place.

So, you have clients from Miami, April.

Do you have guy clients from Miami?

We do, we do.

There's most of our clients that are in my environment, actually.

Wow.

Women and

clients, but most of them are men.

Yeah.

Okay.

But a lot of them,

a lot of those guys are, well, a lot of our clients, you know, they're not looking to put their profile online and they don't want to just hook up with somebody.

They're looking for someone special and unique.

And they don't want somebody that's, you know, basically

likes to party or go

on.

Or, you know, they want the real deal.

And that's why they use our service.

it sounds better and better hook me up i'm ready

anyways next question

um some girls send i go out and on a date and i think the date was great and we get along blah blah blah blah blah and then the guy doesn't call me back why

if everything seemed great

yeah

well I would say maybe they just want something different than you do, you know, and I would be careful not to confuse that chemistry with relationship potential.

Because when you have that initial attraction and connection, when you're around somebody, they might have great energy, and you feel like you have such a great time, and you really don't know what's going on in their head.

You have no idea what they want, or maybe they just got out of a relationship and they're just looking to have fun.

Yeah, people, yeah.

So, again,

not to mistake that chemistry with long-term dating dating potential.

Yeah, it's again

to core values.

Yeah, it's so nice that you said that because it does happen to me a lot.

I meet a ton of people, and when I tell them, Thank you, but I'm at a point in my life that I just want to have a relationship.

I'm super happy by myself.

If somebody comes in my life, I don't want one-night stands anymore.

I just want a relationship.

Then they just disappear because they actually want just a fun time.

So it's interesting that you're saying that we need to figure out the difference between people that just want to have a good time and people that are ready for a relationship again another huge plus of working with april because most people are all the people that that are working with luma are ready for relationships right april right

right yeah they wouldn't have invested in us or worked with us if they're gonna take the time to meet with myself or one of the other matchmakers on my team then you know they're legit and they're serious yeah to both the men and the women right?

Once they try to find you,

yeah, because you're not hooking people up for like a one-night stand.

I think it's important to say that

exactly.

You're looking for a serious, committed relationship.

Yeah, that's fantastic.

Next question.

Sorry, I lost my notes.

Okay, here it is.

A lot of girls send this question.

Women send this question.

Do I have to pay you to find me a match?

Well, no.

Anyone can join and be a member of our database that's free to do that and all you have to do is go to our website lumasearch calm and fill out the profile form it's lumasearch.com and luma for luxury matchmaking so just go on there and join fill out the profile form

and that way you'll be entered into our system and then you'll receive a link so you can update your profile times and that way the matchmakers will be able to consider you as a match okay

great so girls you know just go

yeah i'm gonna do it too go to lumasearch.com fill out the little form and you guys don't have to pay for anything and actually a lot of these dating apps now you go in there and they keep trying to get money from you Oh, if you pay, you can say hi.

If you pay, you can do this.

And I'm like, it shouldn't be like that.

You should at least be able to test the waters and see if it's for you.

So lumasearch.com, by the way, she's like the top of the top of the the top.

There are a lot of matchmaking services out there, and we have to be careful because a lot of them are just honestly sorry, crappy, and they will match with anybody just to be on TV, just to say that they have a client.

April is insanely picky and very selective with her clients and her work.

So, I think you and one time I actually saw a couple that you matched, they said that on video, and I never forgot that the guy said, Well, it's the choice of your life, it's one of the most serious decisions you're gonna have in your life, so you really shouldn't be playing with it and try to save money picking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, of course, if somebody wants to be proactive and have a search on their behalf, then they will want to become a client.

We're always looking for you know great matches to our clients, so I suggest join.

Of course, there's no guarantee that they'll be ever matched with it, they're just

worth a shot.

So, is there such a thing as somebody unmatchable, April?

Well, if they believe they are, then absolutely.

I think that's a mindset.

Yeah.

Very true.

I have one of my girlfriends who keeps telling me she's unmatchable, but I agree with you.

I think it's the way she feels about herself.

Now, because of

anyone can be in a relationship, if you make priority and you want to, but if you just you think that, well, you're the one person in the world and how many billions of people, and you think that nobody's nobody's good enough or nobody can be a match with you because you're

too unique.

Good point.

People out there, there's

Rafaela, if you're listening, this one is for you.

Now because of COVID, of course a lot of people don't want to go out to bars, da da da da da.

Do you offer online dates?

Yeah, we're doing it a ton.

We were even doing it before COVID

because it's it could be really convenient, you know, and that way you actually can see what somebody looks like and can feel for them before you

cross town and meet them in person.

So, we do a lot of FaceTime, a lot of Zoom dates, and then we work with our clients, you know, tips on you know, best practices and you know, dating and all that stuff.

Perfect difference.

Um, and any tips because I agree with this one, online dating is a little awkward because you don't have like the person there.

Uh, any tips you would tell people, like, how do you make it less awkward?

For doing online dating in general,

that first take.

Well with online dating I think

it's being getting back to being human and like able to do that small

and getting to know someone.

I think we're in this society and mentality of like everything needs to be immediate, everything needs to happen

right away at a click of a button and and we've forgotten how to have conversations and how to actually connect with people so I think the best way to do that is you know just by looking at somebody's profile making observations asking them questions just doing what you would normally do if you just met them and or maybe you're in the elevator together and you're just chatting about you know or I think on a first date and when you're first getting to know someone it's important too.

You're paying attention.

So maybe making an observation about something in their profile and asking them a question about it can be really beneficial.

Now, I love, I always tell people,

if you see that they maybe are into swimming, say, oh, I mean, you know, this is a bad example.

I noticed that you're really into swimming and you must be really passionate about it.

You know, how did you get into it or something like that?

And these people like to talk about themselves.

They like to talk about things that they're passionate about.

And so I think that's a

great way to get them to open up.

Very true.

So let's say I meet a guy or you tell me, oh, this guy's great for you.

Gonna have a video date.

Is it okay to snoop and figure out who the person is?

Like look at their social media, look at their LinkedIn,

Google the guy, because sometimes guys complain, you know, oh, you're gonna Google me before, or you think it's completely appropriate to do that before a date?

You know, I think it's, I always say trust, but do your research or do your homework.

Okay, so

assume the best and don't,

it's hard to say this and then and trust that people are going to be able to know the difference, but there's so often people will nitpick and you know to pick apart somebody

who's wearing that shirt.

I can't believe that.

I could never date somebody that wears a shirt like that.

And really, you need to get to know the person as a whole.

So I think, but there are some telltale signs and might be worth looking into before you meet the person, meet them in person.

And

there's a healthy amount of

looking or investigating that you should do.

But, I mean, the full honest talking or

that's the part, I just feel worried about the judgmental piece of it because you don't know the whole picture.

You don't know what was was going on um and you don't and you really don't know the person so if you're just looking at what they put out on their social media you're going to

it could be a completely wrong image right yeah i agree because

it happens to me all the time people look at my social media it's my work we've talked about in the past and they think oh i know all about her i i've lost i lost a boyfriend last year because he thought oh that's that's you and and so yeah april is right be careful before you judge people at least give them a chance, get to know them, because there is so much to us than just our social media.

I couldn't agree with you more.

No, absolutely.

But one good thing about working with you and Luma, because I said we'd snoop around, we Google the guy and we look at their social media.

But if somebody works with you, you guys do all that homework before, right?

Right.

So we and we meet with them, we see what they're really.

Oh, you meet with them in person?

Yeah.

Wow.

And

we learn about their past relationships, what's worked, what hasn't, and their likes, dislikes, and all those kinds of things.

Because essentially, we're an extension of our clients too.

So then we, that person that's right for them.

Yeah, that's amazing.

It's sounding better and better, guys.

Now, last question, because time goes by so fast.

How about a girl asking a guy on a date?

Is it okay?

Or most men still think they should take the lead a lot of my friends say oh men are hunters they need to go after you otherwise they're not gonna like you what do you think

well I always talk about how the woman remember back in the day when the woman would drop the handkerchief for the guy and then he would pick it up and give it to her

We need to find a modern way of doing that.

And it might actually be taking that initiative and asking the guy to go with coffee or

something but then allowing him once you have made that connection and you are

you know at least he knows who you are to allow him to do the chasing so it's really it's opening the door because I think so many men are afraid of being creepy or you know the whole me too movement has really moved guys in a different direction where they don't want they don't want to pursue necessarily at least up front they don't want to approach a woman so women need to be more approachable or at least allow like maybe they make the first move or talk to the guy first give him an opportunity so he feels confident and he feels like he can ask her out or take it to the next level

I actually asked my husband out on the first you did

I always encourage women to do that because again, you want to take the initiative otherwise you're going to end up with whoever approaches you and if you're not liking you know the fish that you're kidding

to change your bait or go after change your methodology so I would say go after the person

you are interested in and you don't have to feel like you're hitting on him like with in the case of my husband I actually we were just we were talking and had a good conversation and then I text him we were we were like more friends of friends and then I text him asking him if you wanted to meet for coffee just

and then it

he began to pursue me.

Yeah, you said something really, really important, ladies.

One thing, like she said, open the door.

Yes, by all means, open the door.

Invite the guy for a coffee or whatever, for a walk in the park.

But there's a big difference between doing that and chasing the guy, right?

Chasing, chasing, chasing.

Don't chase anybody.

That's a hard.

I've done it.

I think most of us did it.

No, if somebody likes you, they don't need to be chased.

They know where you are, they know your phone number, they know you're they're gonna call you, right, April.

Yeah, there's a difference between chasing and then opening the door, calling them to pursue.

But I have noticed that a lot of these guys that are the kind of guys that a lot of women like, they're used to and they're late.

They're used to these women pursuing them and chasing them and

whoever, whatever person pursues the hardest.

So it is, it is a, you know, it's a marketplace and it's some, there's some high demand.

And if you, if there's somebody that you want, you have to, you have to, you know, go after it.

And then, but also, again, you don't want to

be desperate.

Yeah, exactly.

Don't appear desperate.

Now, April, one more question.

Sunday is Valentine's Day.

It's so romantic and it's so nice.

What should single people do?

Lock themselves in the house and be sad, or should they go out and try to mingle mingle with other singles?

What do you suggest?

Well, I mean, it's still this era of COVID, but I see a lot of galentines, events going on, where women are going out together, but still going out with their girlfriends.

Could be, you know, that could be a fun thing to do.

Or, you know, maybe it's just taking some time for yourself.

And I mean, having a

relaxing eating.

So, you know, all that stuff that us women like to do, pamper ourselves, you know, maybe that

good night, good day for that.

Buy yourself some flowers, maybe the day after Valentine's so that they're not warmed up.

Sounds like a plan.

That's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna pamper myself, do some facials, and buy me flowers and chocolate.

Thank you so much, April.

You're amazing.

If you guys don't want to be alone next year on Valentine's Day, maybe you should try out April and Lumasearch.com.

And she's going to be back here next month, which is soon since February is such a short month.

So I'm going to be posting all month long on my Instagram to remind you guys because I don't know what happened.

I think I didn't post enough.

And then all of a sudden, yesterday I got like 120 questions and I couldn't squeeze them all in.

So April is an expert recurring guest.

If you guys want to know anything about matchmaking, dating, and relationships, go to lumasearch.com or send me the questions for her next guest appearance.

Thank you so much, April.

You're amazing.

Well, thank you for having me.

I really appreciate it.

We'll see you next time.

Bye.