Interview with a Swinger

Hello, happy Friday.

Friday means a new episode of Cat on the Loose.

I think today

I have the most controversial episode ever.

I'm here live with a swinger.

I'm not going to show his face on my Insta Live for you guys that are there to respect his privacy, but he's nice enough to be here with me doing this happy.

Hi, Mr.

Adonis.

Hello.

Cheers, just so they see that you're real.

Cheers.

If you ever wanted to know anything about the world of swingers, swinging, shoot, this is your chance.

Now, full disclosure, because my listeners know I tell everything.

I tell so much, Adonis, that I lost a boyfriend last year because of that.

But that's a whole other story.

I am not a swinger.

I got more than like 100 messages today.

Oh my God, we didn't know you were into swinging.

You're a swinger.

No, I am not one.

I actually never did it, but this is a podcast about dating and relationships.

And I think we have to talk about all aspects of that.

Swingers are one of them.

So let's shoot.

Are you ready?

Okay, I'm ready.

First of all, thanks for doing this.

We really appreciate it.

For people that don't understand it, what is a swinger?

I think a swinger is a normal person that

makes the move with a partner or alone, being a girl or a man that wants to participate and share

his sexuality or her sexuality with other

person

randomly.

Okay, it means in other words, it means you want to have sex with a bunch of people.

Not necessarily quantity, but

like an adventure that you are not expecting for someone to to take you to a dinner to kiss you to courtesy you then you go to a place and suddenly appear a guy or a girl and suddenly you are having sex with him less than 30 seconds that you say okay okay but it is about switching partners right it's about having an open sexual life right if you have a partner but you can be a single and participate in the in this world okay this life so single people can be swingers and couples can be swingers.

Yes.

Okay, great.

That clears it.

I didn't, well, I guess I never thought about it.

How long ago did you start doing this?

23 years ago.

So you've been swinging 23 years.

Yeah.

How did you get into it?

Like porno

websites and internet, you get curious about orgies

and suddenly you discover some places that you can do that.

So you go to a specific club or something where you can have sex with other people?

I began in clubs in my country and where are you from?

Brazil?

I cannot disclose that.

Oh yeah, okay.

Sorry.

He's from Europe.

Yeah, my accent is not from Brazil.

I don't know Brazilian accent, but probably it's not my accent.

Okay, so how did you start?

You were curious and you went to a club?

Yeah, yeah.

I think everyone is curious when begin to watch porn movies.

And I would like to participate.

So I invited my girlfriend at that time and said, let's go.

And the first experience was amazing because after like 10 minutes, I was in the club.

She was sucking a guy and I would be sucking.

I was being sucking

a woman.

So obviously in order to do, to have this lifestyle, you need to be very open-minded about i don't think so because for example when i began to to go to clubs here in miami they are very strict and for all the

it's different for from example for example from paris the l'echandelle or even you mentioned brazil probably because the best clubs that i met that i went in my lifestyle was in brazil is is an orgy in brazil and you have very ambience for example here in miami there are two ambients the the dance floor with some kind of food very good food and you take off your clothes and go so everybody's dancing naked no you're not they're dancing with clothes yeah yeah yeah okay the the the couples here are more to see and be seen than to have sex but in other countries for example new york they go

strictly to have sex with a bunch of people and And for example, in New York, they are very young.

Okay, here in Miami the people are the average age is between 50 and 60.

Because I think maybe after a certain age, people feel more comfortable with their sexuality.

I disagree.

I disagree.

No.

Very young couples nowadays are very open to change partners.

They take the chance they are not married yet.

I don't have problems with this because the machism

is going in the world so we depends on which culture i guess yeah yes i'm talking about uh

culture from the oxy also

the west

and i don't know other countries okay so you started a long time ago and you said you had a girlfriend but you told me you were married for a long time right

so I have to ask this was a lifestyle that you and your wife were into.

Yes, but

she never had a man.

She was into women.

Okay, but she was open to you going...

you guys would go to a club together and like switch partners pretty much.

Yeah, we got always girls or women.

Okay.

Okay.

That's it for us.

That was it for us.

But I went there with a lot of girlfriends and

Sometimes you go, you just dance, you have drinks and you don't do nothing.

So for the couples that want to see something, don't be afraid because

you can be even disappointed because

it's a it's like a disco club.

Okay, that's I have that question too.

So, since you started doing that, a lot of people send the same question: oh, I'm curious about it, but I'm afraid, I don't know what to do.

And I think you just answered it.

If you're curious, you can go to the club and you can just watch.

Yes, I think

the scare of the majority of the people is to be judged.

Yes.

Especially from their men.

Yes.

Okay, the men put a spark to do that.

Suddenly the men begin to fight with a girl.

Because

believe me, sometimes I invite, I'm not homosexual, not against this.

I never touch a man.

But sometimes I invited a friend of me, a man friend of me.

Let's go.

Oh, no, I don't know.

It's weird.

But every single girl, every girl in my life that I invited,

they accept.

The women are very

much more open

to do this than the men.

Yes.

That's unbelievable that you're saying that because when I told my friends and my audience and my Instagram followers that I was going to interview you, a lot of men sent messages like, oh, yeah, I do that.

I have no problems.

I've been to this place.

I've been to that place.

And the girls, at least the ones I know, they're like, oh my god, this is so bad.

So it's amazing that you're saying

I have a point in this.

I'm talking about practical things.

The men say they have the courage, but do you have the courage to share your wife with another man?

But in terms of courage, the women are more courageous.

Sorry, my English is not so good.

No, that's

more courageous

than the men.

This is a fact.

Okay.

Okay, so

another question.

Do you think you can be a swinger?

But because a lot of people, the perception is you're a swinger because you like multiple partners.

In Portuguese, we have an expression called Pinto Nolisho.

Pinto nulish is a guy that just wants to have sex with a bunch of women.

It doesn't matter who they are.

So my friends asked this question: Do you think you can be a swinger, but you still like or love one person

and be committed to them or not the majority of the swingers love one person really yes they are married so it has nothing to do with uh just wanting to perversion is different from love you can be a pervert a pervert and still love okay i said the majority is not an excuse for you to go and cheat on your wife cheat on your girl if you if you need an excuse you are not openly say to your partner let's go together.

It's a

the majority of the time is a question of, I'm bored, I want something new, let's go together because I love you.

Yeah, two of my friends, one was a guy and another was a girl, sent me a message.

Well, it's better to be a swinger and tell the truth, be upfront with your partner than a lot of people that cheat behind your back.

I personally

agree.

I think

whatever it is that you like to do, I'm 1 million percent about honesty.

That's the way I live my life.

I think it's so much better that you meet somebody and you tell them, this is what I like, then a lot of men and a lot of girls too cheat behind their partner's back.

Do you agree?

Cheating is about conquering.

Some people want to conquer the other sex.

Like men sometimes don't feel comfortable in swim clubs because they are not conquering.

You are not courtesing a girl.

You just go there to have sex.

So it's missing there.

In a swing club, you don't have the

mysterious of courtesy.

Okay.

So

a cheater can be a cheater in any place.

It doesn't mean that you are a swinger and you are not a cheater.

as well.

You can be, but I would like to sing, to tell a personal thing, a subjective thing about what i think about swing

uh people uh put very

um

the most importance okay than the sex deserve sex is not that important in my opinion so if you have the curiosity be careful open

talk

begin slowly

and go for it because when you are old you can be thinking oh

sex is not that important why why i didn't share my husband why i didn't share my wife i'm not supporting i'm not motivating i'm just saying just go and see for yourself right right no it's good that you're saying that because i i realized when i said i was going to interview there is obviously it's a taboo subject period sex

excitement the excitement about swinging is because it's a taboo exactly i think sex in general is taboo.

When I talk my episodes that I talk about sex on a date or something, especially me being a woman, I get, of course, I get a lot of positive comments, especially from women.

They say, oh, thank you for being a voice.

But I get bombarded by Chris's, oh my god, you sound like a prostitute.

You sound like a porn star.

You are so indecent.

What are people gonna think?

But the truth is, we all do it.

Right?

Prostitutes generally

don't want sex.

They want money.

Right.

I know.

We want sex.

I think it's healthy.

Yeah, I think, well, it depends.

We want different kinds of sex.

I respect that.

You just said it.

I think a swinger wants sex with a lot of people.

That's what makes you excited.

In my case.

Many times people misconstrue because of my image and my photos and everything.

They think, oh, she's crazy.

She has a lot of power.

In my case, I like long relationships.

I like to be with one.

The majority of the swingers have long, very long relationships.

It's interesting that you're saying that's amazing.

Yes.

Then you can do the opposite, relate that, oh, they have long relationships because they share, they swap part.

No, there's no cause of consequence.

But do you think maybe

in a way, I'm just throwing it out there, okay, guys?

I don't know if it's true or not.

In a way, maybe it does make the relationship relationship stronger because you're being so real and so raw.

Because a lot of people love doing these things, but they don't have the balls, the courage to say to their partners.

And so, I'm just thinking, in a way, if you start the relationship from ground zero and you say, look, this is who I am.

I love swinging.

I like doing this.

I like doing that.

Maybe if you find a person that agrees with you, maybe you're going to have a lot.

Sometimes you discover together after years of a relationship.

Yeah.

Okay.

Swinging partners,

if it's very important to a couple, there's a problem there.

It's like, oh, we need to make money.

Oh, we need to put our children at noon to have lunch every day.

So everything that became addicted becomes addicted.

Okay, addicted.

For example, when you presented myself, you said, oh, a swinger guy.

I'm not a swinger guy.

I like to test other kinds of

relationships,

sexual sexually speaking

and I support that idea why not the first time that I get got naked in my life is in Mikolos okay my girlfriend began my wife in that time began to to she was she she was British so the British woman are they are not afraid to be naked in front of people yeah the French

she began to take off her clothes and I like oh my god I was not horrorized yeah the problem is, oh, I got,

can I go naked right now?

So, what I'm saying is, the majority of the couples are waiting for the first step.

Oh,

do I do?

It's the beginning.

Do I need to start now?

So I start now or not?

Okay, so just talk and go to a place and see for yourself.

Okay, the next step is up to you.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

So the question, again, that people ask,

it is possible to have a relationship, a girlfriend, a wife, something, and have this lifestyle?

Of course, I did this for years.

And

the majority, I will repeat, the majority of the people that swing are married.

Okay.

With children, with grandchildren, and so on.

Cats, you don't mind to be naked now.

Not tonight.

Thank you so much.

These things I do in private.

Oops, Los Angeles, California.

Sorry, guys.

Here, everything is live, and I don't edit my podcast.

My audience knows, so it's my real life.

My phone rang, and some guys asked me to take my clothes off.

No, no, no, no, not yet.

Thank you.

Maybe if Playboy calls me, I would consider it.

That's so funny.

Okay, so you already said you were married.

So it is possible,

people, it's not true that a swinger is some crazy pervert that doesn't doesn't have feelings and doesn't want to have a relationship it is possible to have a girlfriend or a wife and you still want to explore your sexuality correct the as i said for me is the opposite the majority of the swingers the real swingers are married with children grandchildren okay and they have this side life yeah and you said one thing that i think is very interesting that I always talk a lot about.

Many people die frustrated about sex and about a lot of other things.

They want to do it, they have this amazing curiosity, but they don't have the courage.

Catherine, I think you can die frustrated to not have a Bentley because I don't have enough money.

But I will die frustrated because I don't have a no, yeah, I just

sold mine, but uh

die not having experience, you don't need to participate.

I know.

Just go to watch.

So you can be a voyeur.

Voyeur is a person that just goes watch.

Yeah, and we were right there.

You can go there and buy a drink.

Like, for example, going to a strip club, you can go there.

I do this all the time.

I never, I know it will sound weird.

I never had, I never paid a woman directly to have sex.

But I went to many strip rooms.

I don't feel horny in that places, okay?

So

I go to swim clubs because I feel very horny.

That's it.

It's like porn hub or I'm a pervert because I watch Pornhub or.

Who said that?

No, I'm just asking.

You know,

I grew up in LA.

LA, everybody knows, is a super liberal place.

And I believe everybody should express themselves and do whatever they want.

It doesn't mean I do it.

That's a big misconception that people have about me.

But I think you should do whatever makes you happy.

So if you get excited and it brings spice into your marriage, why not, right?

Isn't it better than like having boring sex when you're married?

Yeah, but even you go to scene clubs, you can have boring sex because have boring sex with the person that you love.

No, but let's say

let's say you're watching it.

You go there to watch with your wife or your girlfriend.

And it turns you on.

And it turns her on.

Maybe you guys go back home and you have an even better feeling.

Will you turn you on?

Definitely.

Right.

But that's what I'm saying.

Maybe it just spices up what you already have with somebody that you really like.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

Fantastic.

So, oh my God, we are out of time, but I'm going to record the second episode because, on the second episode, Adonis is going to tell us step by step of the experience of

how it actually is being inside a swingers club or a swingers event or party, whatever you guys want to call it.

So stay tuned.

If you have any questions, we will take more questions.

I am live on my Instagram because I really think

this is a subject that so many people want to talk about, but they don't have the courage to talk about.

So this is your chance.

Let's at least talk about it.

Yeah, let's at least talk about it.

I'm having a glass of wine because it's Friday and I work so much all week.

I see some of my clients participating, and I love it.

You guys are the best.

This is Adonis Live for you guys that just showing up on my Insta.

I'm not showing his face because he has the right of some privacy.

He actually has a job,

but he's here.

He's willing to answer any questions.

So if you guys have more questions about the world of swingers, shoot.

This is Kat on the Lose.

And I told you we were going to be on Fuego the second season.

and we are loving it.

Thank you so much.

Be back soon.