TAKING BACK OUR POWER - RESET, REBOOT, KICK ASS

So here we are in December, the year's almost over. Can you guys believe that? And I feel, and probably most of you agree with me, this is a time of the year where most people are so insanely stressed out, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make money, New Year's resolutions, time with family, time with relatives.
Did I reaccomplish everything I wanted to accomplish? So I decided to do this episode, reset, repurpose, get rich. And I'm going to tell you guys a lot of my own personal huge mistakes and some very, very, very serious family tragedies.
not because I'm a victim, the opposite, because I am hoping this episode really,

really, really inspires you to realize that no matter what it is that you're going through right now, whether you're ending the year super happy or you're ending the year frustrated or you're going through a lot of stress right now, you can turn your life around. You can start over from zero.
You can rebuild and you can absolutely 1 million percent build the life of your dreams at any age. One of my biggest pet peeves, especially nowadays on social media, people talk a lot about age.
Oh, in your 20s, you're going to do this. In your 30s, you're going to do this.
In your 40s, you're going to do this. Says who? Life comes with zero manual.
We have no idea at what age we're

supposed to accomplish whatever. Our journeys are very, very individual for each one of us.

And a lot of people make a lot of mistakes in their 20s, make a lot of mistakes in their 30s,

and are insanely happy and successful in their 40s, their 50s, and beyond. So I hope you guys

enjoy it. And remember, instead of sitting at home suffering and feeling sorry for yourselves, it's always, always, always better.
The cheesy phrase, right? See the glass half full because every single day that we are alive is a new opportunity to do whatever it is that you want to do and go after your dreams.

So I'm going to rewind the movie super quickly for those of you who don't know me, for those of you who are no here to Cat on the Loose. Four years ago, I started the podcast because I wanted to vent about my own personal experiences back in the world of dating and relationships after I was married for 15 years to a very rich man, to a multimillionaire, but he was an alcoholic and he started abusing the crap out of me mentally and physically sometimes.
And when I finally got the courage to get out of the marriage and start my life over, I literally saw myself starting over from zero, zero, zero, zero, zero. I did not even have like a dollar in my bank account.
I basically barely, barely worked for 14 years because he didn't allow me to work. He was extremely possessive, extremely controlling.
So now you fast forward my life from four or five years ago to this day, I am living in Beverly Hills, which is my happy place, my favorite place in the world. I run a very successful PR, social media marketing agency.
I have clients all over the United States and all over the world. This little teeny podcast that started like a pet project, just like a venting project at home, is now on the top of the USA charts with audiences in over 58 countries.
And by the way, I love you guys so much because this is really for all of us to learn together. And I went back to acting, which was always one of my huge passions, something that I love doing so much.
And for so long, I couldn't even say the word acting because my husband would freaking kill me if I said that. I just wrapped an indie movie that I am so proud of about illegal immigration called 40 Days that is coming out now in the beginning of 2025 with an award-winning movie director that I love so much named Peter Takla.
And I can't wait to share this project with you guys because you know what? Doing indie movies is so much blood, sweat, and tears that when the movie comes out, you just want to cry because you're so happy. And it's a very important, very powerful story.
But the point is, I have never been happier. I'm not married again yet.
I'm still out there looking for love and my right, right person. But I am so, so, so happy and I am so fulfilled.

And I can say for the first time in my life that I'm in love with my life.

And I am not ashamed to say it for one second.

I'm 52 years old and I look amazing. I look beautiful.
I'm in shape. I run around with my dogs.
I live in a gorgeous place. I make my own money.
I pay my own bills. I am madly, madly in love with my life.
And again, four or five years ago, at some point, I remember crying and thinking, oh my God, I'm going to end up homeless. What the hell am I going to do with my life? How do you start over from scratch? How do you do it? And I'm not a life coach.
I never used a life coach. I never paid for a therapist.
I never did anything. And I will tell you guys, this is how I figured out how to do it.
The first, first, first step is you have to believe in yourself. Because if you don't believe in yourself, nobody in the world will.
So you can have either a lot of money or very little money in the bank, but whatever it is that you want to do with your life, if you want to be an actor, if you want to be a business owner, if you want to be a teacher or dancer, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, whatever the hell it is that you want to do, or even like a successful podcaster, you need to believe in your heart from the get-go that you are capable of that. Even in the worst, toughest days, you know, those days that we all have that you want to cry, you want to hide under the covers and you just think, oh, my God, that's the end of the world.
Those are the days that you got to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and say, you know what? I can do this. I'm going to die fighting.
I'm going to get up again and again and again and again. Because you know what? We all have been through headaches, heartbreaks, tragedy.
We've all have been through something that is extremely painful and difficult to go through. And only we know the size of our pain.
And I know nowadays because of social media, and it's one thing that I, as much as I work with social media so much,

like so many of us, right?

Because it's our marketing platform.

It frustrates the hell out of me.

It's because we look at other people's social media

and so many people are so quick to judge the trolls.

You leave a nasty comment there.

You leave something horrible about someone

you never even met in your life.

And I always think like, why would you do that

if you never met that person? You don't know what they're going through. Why would you leave a nasty comment? So I will give you some very practical examples of certain things that happened to me, that happened to my family, and how I managed to overcome it in order for me to get here today.
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So first things first, because I think we all agree making money is super, super important.

And after depending on my husband for 14 and a half years and getting really, really, really fucked, there's no other word to use for it, after doing that and literally finding myself after this marriage without any assets, without any money in the bank, without an income, and having to figure out how do I start my life over from scratch, I'm a huge, huge advocate for women's financial independence. And I tell every woman that I ever met in my life, and I will say that for the rest of my life, I don't care if you marry the richest guy in the world.
I don't care who you marry.

Make sure you make your own money,

stash your own money away.

Make sure you have your own source of income.

Don't make the mistakes I made.

I don't care if they leave you a will because that was my case.

My husband left me a will.

I inherited a multimillion dollar company.

I inherited all our assets and it didn't matter because the courts did not enforce the will. It's a very long story.
But at the end of the day, I literally got nothing. I got zero.
Nobody helped me. The system failed me.
No attorney on the planet did anything to help me. The police did nothing to help me.
And I found myself with nothing, with no money in the bank. So you're probably out there like, okay, so how do I do it? How do I do? I see so many people, and especially now I'm talking about the United States, because I don't know enough about the cultures of other countries in terms of making money, but I see so many people here complaining they don't make enough income.
Oh my God, you live in Beverly Hills, you're a multimillionaire. No, I'm not a multimillionaire.
But I will tell you one thing that I know for sure. If you want to live a good, comfortable life, a nine to five job is never going to cut it.
And this is all you have to do. You're going to have to go after your dreams.
You're going to have to move your ass and really do something that you are absolutely passionate. Like I said in the beginning, you have to do something that you really, really, really believe in because this is how the success is going to come back to you.
I don't know if you guys believe in energy. I don't know if you guys believe in manifesting.
I'm a huge believer in both. And I really believe it's because of my energy and because of my manifesting and because of this simple method that I use that I've been able to rebuild my life without anybody's help, by the way.
Nobody ever gave me money. My parents are not alive.
I didn't have a rich sibling. I literally started from scratch one step after the other, climbing up and up and up by working my ass off way, way, way above nine to five.
So even if you have a job, like a nine to five job, and you want to make your life better, think about what is one dream. Everybody has a dream, right? Everybody has something like an itch inside, something that you're so passionate about that maybe your relatives think you're crazy, the Lulu, thinking that you can do it.
Maybe you're too embarrassed, too ashamed to say it out loud. Because listen, remember this, guys, if you go to a cemetery and you look at a cemetery, it's really depressing, right? But this is the truth.
Most people died with their dreams buried with them. Most people don't execute.
Most people take their dreams to the cemetery with them. So this is the difference.
And I give you me as an example. When I started Cat on the Loose, I had zero ambition about it.
I did not think it was going to be on the top. Oh my God, I'm going to be number four in the USA charts in the relationships category.
I'm going to be near the biggest podcasting names like Kristen Cavallari, Nick Vial, Vial, whatever his name is. Oh my, no, I'm going to have audiences in 56 countries that are going to listen to me.
No, I simply got a mic, got my computer. I knew nothing about podcasting, but I knew I had some fun, crazy, emotional, important stories that I needed to share as a woman.
And I hit a nerve with my audience because I was really just being myself. I wasn't copying anybody else.
I wasn't trying to copy somebody else who already had a podcast. I was like, you know what? My style is organic.
My style is, I only know how to be me. My style is, I love sharing because I think if I help anybody out there going through heartbreak, going through divorce, I feel that's what I'm doing.
I'm doing my job as a communicator. So I just ran with it.
And as I was running with it and venting and sharing and growing as a person, the podcast started growing. So same with you.
Whatever it is that you're sitting there right now, you do bracelets. Hey, your job finishes at five.
Take a break. How about at 7 p.m.? You go and open an Etsy account, you know, and go for it and sell them.
Tell your friends, tell your family, do a bazaar. You want to write a book? Look, listen, you don't have to write an entire book in one day.
One of my favorite people in the world is one of my clients called Paul Milokni. He's one of the most successful entertainment attorneys in Hollywood.
And he wrote an amazing, amazing book called Welcome to Hollywood. It's for people that are aspiring and that want to work in the Hollywood industry, aspiring writers, aspiring actors, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Super easy read. And this is one of the things that he says, you don't have to write the book in one day.
Nobody does that. It's the famous principle, Japanese principle that he writes about in his book called Kaizen.
And I love that. And I started applying that to my own life.
Kaizen means you can accomplish incredible results if you start doing a little bit of something every day. So you want to write a book? You know what? Write a page a day.
Write two pages a day. You want to be a personal trainer? Start working out 40 minutes a day, 30 minutes a day.
Anything that you want to do. You want to be a podcaster? Go for it.
Publish your first episode. Just go for it.
But if you never go for it, it's what I said. It's very likely that your dreams are going to end up in the cemetery with you and your life is going to stay where it is now.
So God's honest truth. People ask me every day, how did you go from zero, from nothing, from thinking you were going to be homeless to where you are today? And by the way, I'm far from where I want to be.
I'm not a multimillionaire yet. I'm not comfortable that I can say, oh, I can stop working for the rest of my life.
But this is the key. At least I am doing everything that I love to do.
I am insanely, insanely fulfilled with every single project. And I don't mind waking up at 5 a.m.
and working until 10, 11, six, seven days a week because I know I'm building up things that are incredibly important to me and fulfill me as a human being. And I think this is one of the most important things that we forget.
And it really, really starts if you plant the seed. So if you don't want to be like most people and die frustrated, if you really want to get here, like one year from now or six months from now, you want to say, wow, thank you, Kat.

I listened to you.

I actually listened to your podcast and implemented.

Do it.

The famous pull the trigger.

Don't think too much and don't plan too much and act a little more.

I feel like a lot of people, even when you're going to buy something, buy a class, buy a course, la, la, la. Don't let me think about it.
Let me think. Okay, you know, think, but not too much.
Don't wait too much. Execute.
Go for it. Another one of my favorite people in the world, I consider her a mentor.
I love and adore her. I watch every single one of her videos.
Cody Sanchez. She's a fucking genius.
She's 37 years old, I think. Gazillionaire.
And that's what she says. She's like, the reason why I'm really rich and I'm really successful, it's probably not because I'm more intelligent than most people.
But I execute faster than most people. I act faster than most people.
I really get stuff done. And I feel it's the same with my case.
Whatever it is that I feel I want to do, I just go and do it. I like, you know what? I'm going to go for it.
I'm not in a time in my life that I'm going to wait, wait, wait. And I think this also comes from having a lot of tragedy in my life.
A lot of people know the people that follow Kettle Blues and that follow my life. And for those of you who are new, don't know, but I did lose my husband, right, of 15 years as much as he was an alcoholic and he abused me.
He was my best friend. He was my family for a long time.
And it was a very painful, horrific death. If you guys ever been around an alcoholic, you must know it's a slow, horrible, horrible, horrible death.
And it was a tragedy to watch him die. And a year before he died, I lost my mom very suddenly.
And I was very close to my mom. And I didn't have time to grieve these two deaths because like I said, once Anthony died, I realized, oh my God, I don't have any money.
I have zero in my bank account. I have no assets because again, the courts didn't enforce the will.
And it's a super long story for another episode. And I also talked about it in the past.
And again, it's open case. Everything is public in the Miami Family Court.
If anybody's interested in knowing, oh, my God, is this crazy bitch telling the truth. Everything, everything is open there, like for the public, if you want to look it up.
But anyhow, I couldn't grieve and I couldn't stop. I couldn't take a break and cry.
I literally had to roll up my sleeves and say it's sink or swim. And ever since then, this was 2018, right? We are in the end of 2024.
So it's been many years. Ever since then, I walk the plank every single day for me because I'm an entrepreneur.

I don't have a nine to five job.

I don't have a paycheck on Friday.

Meaning if I don't work, I don't pay my bills.

I don't eat.

My dogs don't eat.

And the people that depend on me, my employees, don't eat.

So I like that because I like the pressure of being an entrepreneur.

It makes my blood boil.

It makes me want to prove to myself.

And I always love using this phrase. I am my own competition.
I don't think other women are my competition. It breaks my heart when I think women are competing with each other.
I don't think we should compete with each other. I think we should unite forces with each other.
I think we are our own competition. We always should strive to be better and better and better of what we did yesterday.
And that's how I live my life. So every single day when I see the results of my company, when I see the results of my podcast, I want to do better and better and better and better for me and the people I love and the people around me that need me, that depend on me.
And I want to prove to myself that everything that got taken away from me, everything that got stolen from me, everything that was on that wheel that was mine, that I took 15 years

to build with my husband, that was stolen from me, I can build 10 million times more.

And this is something that nobody can take away from me or from you, your power, your

power to build the life that you want. Only you can give that away.
If you go home and you feel like a loser and you're like, you know what, that's it. My life is over.
You take yourself out of the game of life. You disqualify yourself.
You're the only person that can do that. Nobody has that power.
So when I lost everything and the courts didn't listen to me and the attorneys didn't help me and I lost everything, I was like, you know what? I'm not going to disqualify myself just yet. I made the decision for myself that I was going to die trying to rebuild.
And it's been a hell of a journey. It's been insanely difficult, but at the same time, it's been insanely rewarding.
And if you can take anything away from this podcast, is that I promise you, we all have that power within ourselves. And remember, maybe you lost a loved one like me, you know the pain, right? It's impossible to explain if you didn't.
But if you lost somebody that was one of the most important people to you in your life, you know the pain is excruciating and you still need to keep going. You still need to keep going for yourself.
Don't give up on yourself. Keep, keep, keep going.
Don't let your dreams go with you to the cemetery. Let's take a really quick break and talk about a problem that I know most of us have, especially after super crazy long work days.
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And I know a lot of you guys don't know because I very, very rarely talk about my family, but I have a younger sister in Florida. She's exactly seven years younger than me.
My birthday is March 6th. Her birthday is March 5th.
And she has an adorable, adorable, adorable, crazy, intelligent sweetheart son who is 13, my little nephew. And just a little over a year ago, her husband committed suicide.
He killed himself. He shot himself in the head.
And my sister found him. I'm not sure if anybody can imagine the trauma to find the father of your son shot with the head blown up, right? It's impossible for any one of us, I think, to imagine her trauma.
So the past few years, she's literally been trying to basically survive, pick up the pieces and start her life over. And she flew here to Beverly Hills for the Thanksgiving holiday with my nephew.
And it was one of the most special weeks of my life. And I asked her, do you want to do the podcast? We talked about it, but she's still very fragile.
She's very emotional. So we both agreed that she wasn't ready.
But the reason why I'm talking a little bit about it is because two reasons. First, it was very emotional for us to be together and we made that week very, very special.
My nephew is doing amazing, thank God. He's a straight-A student and she's very, very fragile and of course she's suffering from anxiety, she's suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as anybody would but But slowly but surely, she's moving in the right direction and rebuilding her life.
But we managed to have an amazing week. We did all the touristy stuff.
We ate so much. We went to so many restaurants, museums.
We had the most special week, the three of us. And it was all about family and special moments.
And this is one of the things that I always say, and even now as I'm telling the story, I'm getting emotional because when they left on Saturday, I wanted to cry because I didn't want them to leave. But the whole week that they were here, I kept thinking of this message that I always say to myself and to everyone around me, life happens right now.
Life happens while we are planning now. And you learn that lesson when you go through these horrific tragedies, right? I lost my mom.
I lost my husband. My sister lost her husband.
My little nephew has to go through the rest of his life without his dad. And when you have these horrific losses, you realize, you know, you need to, you owe it to yourself to enjoy every minute.
The most, most special free things like a walk in the sunshine, the people you love around you, hugs, kisses, telling them, I love you, I love you, I love you, and just laughing together. Or, yeah, pig out on one great meal.

Or for us, it's like having the doggies around snuggling us. You know, all these amazing little things are what make life special.
And I feel that so many people, especially this time of the year, I don't know if you guys notice, almost everyone I talk to,

they're so stressed out, so stressed out. Oh my God, this is going on and that going on and that person doesn't like me and this person doesn't like me and I don't have enough money for this and I don't have enough.
And I mean, stress kills, right? We all know that. Stress, you end up in the hospital and you could die and heart attack, I think is the number one or number two killer of people in the United States.
So these are the most precious moments. If you don't appreciate your life and the people around you now, I don't know when you will.
And for us, this was the lesson. It was one of the most precious weeks of my life.
And I'm never, ever going to forget it. And I know making money is so important for all of us, of course, right? Because we all have bills to pay, but stopping, just pausing for a few minutes, letting the world go by saying, you know what? I'm going to put the social media down for a little bit.
I'm going to let that client wait for a little bit. I'm going to let that, that like just breathing.
Even my sister, like she needed to walk. We went on a hike here in NLA in such a beautiful place, Franklin Canyon.
And she was like, you know what? I just want to be near nature and breathe. Literally just stop and breathe.
Like do nothing and go like, you know, just let like a moment go. It will reset your life like you will be shocked.
And this is a time of the year that so many people forget about that. And you know what? If you're the opposite, if you're always around your family and your family stresses you out, like today I was talking to one of my friends, she was the opposite.
She's like, oh, and I'm fighting with my father and my friend and my neighbor. And I said, then do the opposite.
It's okay to not talk to them for a few hours, for two or three days. It's okay to need your space.
It's okay to say, you know what? I'm going to take a little break from you. I love you, but I'll talk to you in two, three days.
It's just okay to reset because if we don't have our mental health, and I say that to my sister every single day, if you don't have your mental health, if you're not okay, game over. So I want everyone out there right now, it doesn't matter what you're going through, pause for a minute, pause everything that you're doing and ask yourself, am I okay? Am I okay? Look at yourself in the mirror.
Because if you're not okay, pause, pause whatever the hell it is, whoever the hell it is, and give yourself a break because you come first. Our mental health comes first.
And I am telling you, I've been through hell and high water. I've been through some of the worst years of my life.
I've been through depression, you name it. You know, I was in a horrifically abusive marriage to an alcoholic.
Oh my God, I've been through hell and high water in my life. And now I'm strong enough to say that because I'm in such a happy place.
And I learned how to set boundaries in my life. I learned it's not about quantity.
It's not about quantity of people around. It's about quality.
It's about really letting the people we love around us, the special relationship around us, and just make everybody else go. Which leads me to dating because I know so many people out there keep repeating the pattern, going back to people that don't love them, accepting crumbs from people that we date, unhappy relationships, crappy relationships.
And I think this is the biggest, most important lesson I learned from doing canon de luz for four years we're going into our fifth year now 2025 and i tell all my friends i have one of my best friends now going through a horrible breakup he was engaged the fiancee returned the ring they tried to go back and forth back and forth forth, back and forth for a year. Now, just before the holidays, she breaks up over text and he's heartbroken.
And I've been there. I've been in situationships with people, with someone that I was falling in love with and being treated like crap, accepting crumbs.
What is accepting crumbs? People that don't treat you with respect. People that want to show up just in the middle of the night for booty call.
People that make you feel insecure. People that don't plan dates with you.
It's Thursday and you're wondering, are they going to call me on the weekend? Do they like me? Do they not like me? Are they going out with somebody else? Are they still on the dating app? If you're asking yourself any one of these questions, the answer is they're the wrong person for you. This is crumbs.
You deserve so much better. And as long as you accept crumbs, you're going to be hungry for more.
And I learned this the hard way. I think doing Karen Deleuze been therapy for me.
Finally, it was only a while ago, like the beginning of this year that I said, you know what, fuck this shit. I don't want to get crumbs anymore.
I deserve so much more. I deserve a relationship that I feel safe and comfortable and it's easy and it's peaceful and love doesn't hurt.
Love nurtures you. A person that wants to be with you, guys and girls and everybody else, I promise you, they will tell you, they will say, hey, whatever your name is, Kat, Saturday we're going to do this, Friday we're going to do this, and these are our plans, and na-na-na.
They care about you. They're not going to keep you hanging.
They're not going to keep you waiting. They're not going to keep you sitting by the phone wondering.
They're not going to make you feel insecure. So this is a great month, right? December.
I don't know if you guys do it like me, but I love January. I always look at January as like a blank, blank page, blank book that I'm going to write a brand new story.

So December is a great, great month to just reset, reset. So if you are in a kind of crumbly relationship, situationship, or dating someone and wondering, you know, are they dating somebody

else? Do they like me? If you're asking, this is a great time to reboot, reset, stop, stop.

Thank you. You know, are they dating somebody else? Do they like me? If you're asking, this is a great time to reboot, reset, stop, stop.
Tell that person to go away. If you need to block them from your fault, stop responding.
You deserve more. It's the same old, same old.
If you don't think you deserve better, you're going to keep getting crumbs. We need to know our worth.
And that's what I did. And I finally told my friend, this friend, that this girl broke up with him for the gazillion time.
I said, enough is enough. Enough is enough.
You may love someone else, but hey, you need to love yourself more. Self-love always has to come first.
Nobody's going to love you. Nobody's going to respect you if you don't love yourself more.
So if somebody breaks up with you and they break up with you again, they put themselves in a position to lose you. It means they don't care enough to lose you.
Let them lose you. Let them go.
And remember this phrase, every day you are with the wrong person, every day you're taking crumbs from someone is a day that you're letting the right person go by without finding you because the right person is always out there trying to find you. So don't waste time with the wrong person.
Open the door so the new, peaceful, amazing one can find you, and you can start having an amazing time with the right one. And this is what I did, and this is why I'm in such a peaceful, happy space right now.
Because I finally decided I am never going to accept crumbs in my life ever again. And by the way, let me tell you guys something.
I hear so many people worried about what are other people going to say, right? And I don't know if it's probably because of social media magnifies everything, but I hear so many people saying like, oh, what are they going to think about me? What are they going to say if I don't respond? What are they going to think about me if I do this? What are they going to think about me if I do that? And this is what I say. It's easy to criticize others, right? But only we know our pains, our lives, what we go through, what we live, what's best for us.
So this is how I do it. I don't criticize anybody.
It's none of my business what other people do with their lives. And I don't care about criticism about me.
If you post on social media, if you are very active on social media for work, like it's my case, like so many of us, grow some thick skin. Take it with a grain of salt.
I always send a lot of love to the trolls because I think they need love more than anybody else. Because if somebody spends a few minutes of their day looking at someone's account that they never met to write something nasty, it means their life is probably really miserable and they need a lot of love.
So if I see somebody write a nasty comment on my page, whatever it is about me, I just send them a lot of love. Hey, I'm sending a lot of love your way, or you're entitled to your opinion, many kisses, I wish you the best, because they need it, and it disarms you.
But in terms of caring about people's criticism about how you live your life, about what you do, about what you dress, about what you look like, it's a huge waste of time, because not everybody's going to love us, not everybody's going to appreciate us, not everybody's going to think we're amazing. But you know what? At the end of the day, I think you need to do what's best for you.
I am only so happy today and so fulfilled and becoming more and more successful with all my projects because I learned that after leaving this abusive marriage that my husband used to call me a useless piece of shit, that I wasn't good for anything. Can you imagine listening to that for 15 years when it does to your brain? I had to rewire myself and remind myself that I'm not and remind myself, you know what? I'm super intelligent.
I'm capable of anything. I can do whatever I want.
I can make any project of mine become successful. So it's like an everyday exercise that you got to do with yourself.

And that goes for work and that goes for dating.

Like I was saying about the crumbs.

If you're taking crumbs, if you're letting somebody disrespect you,

if you're letting somebody show up at your house for a booty call at 2 a.m., if you're letting somebody call you last minute Friday night

if they don't have better plans or keep you hanging over the phone or disrespect you or date you and still looking at other dating apps, you are disrespecting yourself like I was doing to me. So I'm proof of it.
And all the mistakes I made are on all the more than 200 Cat on the Lose episodes. And this is how I learned not to make them again.
Finally, one day I'm like, okay, I need to respect myself first. I am the only one that should be criticizing myself and respecting myself so I can move on and be in a better relationship and be in a better place.
We need to decide our boundaries and what we are going to accept from people or not. But I get so many messages from you guys saying, oh my God, people criticize me and they do this and they do that.
This is what I say to you. Just freaking ignore it.
You know, live your life, be your own best competition, be better and better and better every single day. And don't settle for an unhappy, miserable relationship, situationship, whatever it is, let the person go.
Because this is what I told my sister on Thanksgiving week. I'm like, you know, I'm sure there's an amazing guy out there that is trying to find you and you will find you.
Same for my friend who the fiance keeps breaking up with him. I said, you need to let this girl go because you put a ring on her finger.
It's not good enough. You do this, it's not good enough.
You do that. You need to let this girl go so the right girl finds you.
It's all within us. Everything you want to do, everything you want to do is within you.
And every tragedy that you go through, I just give you guys a few examples of my personal tragedy and my family's personal tragedy. You need to, as hard as it is, you need to transform that pain into fire that feeds you to keep moving forward.
It doesn't matter how many times life knocks you down, you need to keep moving forward, even if it's one baby step after the other. Just remember that.
I get messages from people from all over the world asking me, how do I start a podcast? How do I monetize? How do I make money? And I always say, you're not going to monetize tomorrow. You're not going to have one of the top podcasts in the world tomorrow, but you need to start.
So the secret is start. Whatever it that you want to do oh Oh, I don't like my body.
I want to be thinner. Great.
Start baby steps. I don't like to work out.
That's okay. Do you live in a place that you like to walk? Do you like to dance? Do you want to try pickleball? Ask yourself whatever it is that you don't like.
I personally love writing. So I have diaries.
I have notebooks. I literally make a list of things that I'm super happy about.
And I make a list of things that I'm not happy about. And when I see the things of the list that I'm not happy about, I start thinking about, huh, how can I change that? So example, right? Thanksgiving week, my sister and my nephew were here.
Every single day, we only had six days together and 10 million things we wanted to do. So we went to a bunch of restaurants.
I drank two glasses of wine every night with my sister, which is something I never do. Ate 10 million more calories than I normally do.
But I said to her, who cares? It's one of the most special weeks of my life. I'm going to soak in every moment and I'm going to enjoy every dessert with my little nephew.
I'm going to enjoy every glass of wine with my sister, everything that I have to do. Then after they left, of course, I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable.
And oh, my jeans are tight and I have this little wine belly. So I write that on my list.
How do I fix it? Simple. Go back to your routine.
Go back to what you love doing. What do I love doing? I love waking up at 6.15 a.m.
and going for a jog with Phoenix, taking my dog Phoenix to the park. I love being active with my dogs.
I love doing my little at-home Pilates. Sure enough, two days later, I already feel like myself again.
So everything that if you start putting it on a piece of paper, I am sure you can come up with solutions. The problem is most people don't put it on a piece of paper.
And most people, especially this time of the year, they just pick up the problems and the frustrations. Oh my God, I don't have enough money.
Oh my God, my relatives suck. Oh my God, it's so stressful.
Okay, so if you keep putting all the negatives in the universe, that's your reality. And if you keep feeding the problems, the problems get bigger.
And I always use this phrase and I love it. You need to feed the solutions.
If you feed the solutions, the solutions get bigger and bigger and bigger. If you feed the problems, your problems get bigger and bigger and bigger.
So be careful. Our words, everything that comes out of our mouth has so much power.
So before you speak up, think about it, what you're going to say. If you're overweight, if you're feeling uncomfortable, don't say, oh, I'm a fat, calm, such a pink.
Say, you know what? I can do better for my health, for my body, for my genes, for my self-esteem. This is what I'm going to do.
I'm going to start today because if I start today,

January 1st, I'm already like 20 days ahead. So, you know, it's all about like perspective and how

we look at ourselves and the words we say about ourselves. I don't know if you guys ever tried

that, but this is like such a simple exercise and it always, always works for me. I never,

ever, ever say anything negative about myself out loud. Or if I do, it's still with a lot of love.
Like I just gave you the example at Thanksgiving. Oh, I'm a little bloated, but you know what? It was so worth it because I had the most amazing week with my family and now I'm back into my routine and it was worth every bite because that's a part of life.
Oh, you know, I need to make more money, but I am so proud of myself, the work I did this year. So let me adjust and see what else I can do about it.
So it's always about trying to find what you can do within yourselves. I think we live in a world with a lot of negativity.
I see a lot of people bashing each other on social media and I think we all need to spread more love. We all need to spread more positivity.
And this is what I try to do with the podcast. And if you take anything from it, if it encourages you to get moving and do something that you love doing to change your life to the better, I feel like I'm doing my job.
I want you to have the most amazing holiday season.

I know holiday seasons can be really tough on all of us. I spend many, many, many of them alone.
I know how it is. I know it's not easy.
I'm not saying anything is easy by any means, by the way, because I also have my really tough, really difficult days. But what I am saying is we do have the power to decide, am I going to do the best I can and kick some ass and try to make my dreams come true? Or am I going to complain, complain, complain, complain, be miserable and die and take all my dreams to the cemetery with me? So every day that you wake up, you have a decision to make.
And that decision is only yours. Be safe.
I love you. Positive words, positive energy.
Don't accept crumbs from anyone. Oh, but I love him.
Oh, but I love her. I get it, but you need to love yourself more.
And guess what? The right person for you is going to love you, but is going to respect you, is going to care about you so much that they are not going to want to hurt you. Remember that love doesn't hurt.
Love fulfills you, makes you feel light as a feather, makes you feel happy, makes you feel at peace, makes you sleep at night like a baby. Be safe.
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