LOVE SEX LA WITH AWARD WINNING WRITER ALEX RIZIK - AN ORGANIC EPISODE AROUND THE STREETS OF LA

So my guest this week is incredibly talented and super, super nice, Alexandria Rizik. She's an award-winning filmmaker.
She's the author of three books. She also owns a really, really cool, fabulous wine brand called Poetry in a Bottle.
And for those of you who know me, know how much I love wines. And she started a really cool newspaper called Love Sex LA.
And this is how I met her. In this newspaper, she writes about her adventures in the world of dating and being single in LA.
And we talked and realized we have so much in common. So for this episode, we decided to go out and about on the streets of Beverly Hills and West Hollywood and

talk to people about the dating scene. Is it really difficult to date in LA? Does dating have

anything to do with geography? How do people feel about it? We had so much fun and we document

everything on this really, really great episode with the super talented, adorable Alex. I hope

you guys enjoy it and I hope you guys relate. Alex, welcome to Carondalos.
Thank you for having

I'm not going to explain what's going on, but I've had such a fun week with you. So much fun.
Too much fun. I'm a little tired.
So much fun that you brought your wine here, which I am madly in love with, but because it's Friday, we were like, oh, let's let's do like a happy hour episode. But we're both a little hungover.
So we're like, maybe not right now. Literally, literally.
Like I'm still recovering. Yeah.
All the champagne last night. Same.
But before we start the episode, I want to say congratulations on all your fabulous, fabulous work. The wine is poetry in a bottle.
I'm going to shameless plug it because first, I love the name. Oh, thank you.
I'm a sucker for great wine. And you did it all by yourself.
I did. I did.
What an entrepreneur you are. Thank you.
Well, look, coming from you, that means so much. I would love to have my own wine, but I would not even know how to start.
So I'm very impressed. Very impressed the name is super adorable thank you I appreciate it and the paper that you started you are an award-winning writer like I told everybody before uh and I'm in love with your paper as well love sex la thank you yeah not only you did it digitally but you actually printed the paper which is very impressive these days I know it's very old school right it? It's very old.
We're bringing it back. We're bringing it back.
I love vintage. I love old school so congratulations on everything.
Thank you. So let's explain to people what's going on.
When we met I said I love this chick. Yeah.
She writes really well. She's writing Love Sex LA about dating.
I gotta do an episode with her but then we decided before we do the episode, let's go all over Beverly Hills because we both live in Beverly Hills and let's see how the dating scene is out there. Yeah.
What an experiment, huh? What an experiment. It's been a little crazy fun.
So on Monday, we decided, because it was one of the NBA final games. So that's how little I go out.
And I don't watch sports. You don't watch sports.
But I thought Monday I called you and I'm like, Alex, it's the NBA finals. Let's go to the busiest sports bar in Beverly Hills.
And it's going to be packed with guys. Oh, my gosh.
It was like a bus. It was dead.
It was dead. So we get there and you were so game for it.
You're okay it's monday night let's go yeah but we show up there and the bar was like crickets crickets crickets so we didn't talk to anybody there right there was nothing going on then from there we decided to go to walley's which is also one of the top bars happy hours in beverly hills i did do like a really famous episode called the plunger like a couple years ago it was so we get in there it was very chill but it was a crazy ass oh my gosh let's start by talking about him for a minute the lawyer the lawyer and he was like he didn't let us film him he didn't let us record his answers and he was like you going to talk about me on the podcast. Oh, we're going to talk about you.
We're going to talk about you. I know.
Well, I have a theory, too. If a guy doesn't want to be filmed like that or, like, followed on social media, I feel like they have a girlfriend or something they don't want, you know? There is.
Yeah. This is what I feel.
I feel they're either going to do something shady or they're going to say something really bad. Because I remember this guy said to me oh everybody's gonna recognize my voice if I let you said that yeah because I was like let me record you because your answer what you're saying to me so absurd and he was like no people are gonna recognize my because he is a very successful attorney in the area and he was like no people are gonna recognize my voice and I think if you were saying something amazing or that you're proud of yeah why would you care well exactly exactly because for me I wouldn't care talking about really anything or being you know you're recorded because right nothing to hide that's like a lot of guys always say that to me are you going to talk about me on the podcast and my answer is this if you do something amazing and if're a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about.
If you do something really, really shitty and crappy and douchey, very likely you're going to become an episode. And even worse, if you're insignificant, we're going to forget about it.
We're never going to talk about it. Well, and here's the thing.
As journalists and writers, it's our job to describe you and share it with the world, right? I love you. Exactly.
It's our job. It's our duty.
Yes, it's our duty. So there you go.
Anyhow, so this guy, he tells me he's a successful attorney. He has a daughter, not an ex-wife, with a baby mama.
And then he shows me pictures of baby mama. She's like this gorgeous supermodel looking person.
And then he starts telling me that they never got married la la la la and then he asks about me and i said yeah i've been married no kids and then he was like what do you mean no kids i said yeah i never wanted to have kids it didn't happen for me whatever and then he had the balls to say to me i think this was one of the most outrageous things i ever heard a guy say he was oh, then you're never going to be in a relationship because the only reason why any man would stay in a long term relationship with someone is if they have a kid together. But he has a kid and he's not in a relationship.
Exactly. He was like, no guy is going to stay with you girls.
And then he was like, by the way, I never heard women before ever that said they don't want to have kids. Well, after meeting him, I'm like, I definitely don't want to have kids with someone like that.
I'll tell you that right now. But it's not unusual.
There are a lot of women that don't want to have kids. Right.
Right. As a personal choice.
Yeah, for sure. And that's the whole thing is it shouldn't matter.
You know what I mean? I mean, if that's why you stay with someone is because you have a kid with them. Right.
You need to reevaluate. I agree.
And you know, I honestly think nowadays, it's not reason enough for most men. Like if you get a guy pregnant, if they don't like if they don't love you, a lot of guys are not you know, they don't stay with the because the kids, such as in his case, by the way, Mr.
Douche, right? He was not married to the. Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, that's what I said to him. Why aren't you with the baby mama? And he was like.
He couldn't come up with an answer. Exactly.
I feel like he was like flirting with you, though. Like that was.
No, he was not. He kept saying like, oh, look at my baby mama's photo look how gorgeous she is she's like six foot whatever and oh look at this chick that i'm dating from paraguay look she's like looks like a model she was like totally showing off no we were not doing like uh flirty i was literally grilling him and asking him questions because he was so freaking outrageous outrageous he was he was very chaotic yeah he was very chaotic and the guy that was talking to you on your side was a weirdo i think he was very inebriated i think he was very drunk so polite inebriated like i think he was drunk he was sitting there telling me that he was an actor um from a bunch of like old like cult type films from a while ago like maybe the 80s and 90s.
Did you get his name? We should we should yes I did but I forget what it is I feel like it might be in my phone though because he let's google him see if it's true yeah but he was like I'm gonna take you to the movies I know and then he told you he lived in Burbank I know And I'm like, well, that goes into our whole thing about geography we were talking about because and it's funny, I was talking to someone else today about this and like some other friends of mine about local geography or a USA. We're going to explain to you guys because it's a very important conversation.
Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like we were talking about you and I were originally talking about geography in terms of like people, they feel about dating in LA versus other locations yes and I was talking to some people about it too and I feel like it was kind of mixed reviews like there's people like you who are like if you just want to have fun and don't take it like super seriously and put out a negative energy towards it you're gonna you know have things come back have things come back to you that receive things that are not super negative. You know what I mean? And like have OK or good experiences.
Right. Yeah.
But I was talking to someone who was originally from here, but they live between New York and Miami now. And he said Miami is the worst place to date.
That's what everybody's saying. Yeah.
But he liked New York. He said New York was the best place.
But he's a guy. He's a guy.
So, yeah, that's. So let's talk about the geography situation for a while, because a few days ago it was in the news that Miami was voted the worst.
I mean, I lived in Miami and I agree. Miami's a shit show in terms of dating.
Yeah. But it literally was in the news that it's the worst place, like all of Florida, it's the worst place to date in the United States.
And then the L.A. girls, I saw a bunch of them, including like a super famous matchmaker who I had on the show before.
She was like, no, LA is the worst. Everybody's so superficial and all the actors.
And then the New York girls, I even have a friend in New York that wants to get married. They say that there are not enough guys there.
And, you know, it's too many women for not enough guys. So I feel that's why I was saying to you, if you decide no matter where you are, if you decide that it's going to be shitty, I really believe that it becomes your reality.
I totally. But that's like with everything in life, right? Like career relationships, anything kind of goes like that.
You you know whatever you put out there is what you're going to get back that's how I feel so these girls I think if you're pessimist like as much as you want to be in a great relationship right I know dating can be tedious and it can be tough and all this crap but it's part of the process so you have two ways to look at it like you said you can even enjoy it and have fun in the process and really enjoy your life in the meantime or like a lot of these women do they're like oh my god I'm never gonna find the man of my dreams it's competition competition what am I gonna do to get the guy you feel like you know they just put this negativity towards it and I really feel the guys feel that vibe the pressure the pressure I don't like pressure so I don't like pressure either no do you think it's also because you're someone that does not want to have kids do you think a lot of people have deadlines for themselves like women have a deadline because of a biological clock or they have a certain age they want to be married by is that do you probably probably right? I think yes, I think a lot of a lot of girls in their 30s in their late 20s, they want to have a family. Yeah.
And I know a person like that. I'm not even gonna say who it is.
But she's like, I want to get married have kids period. Okay, I completely understand that.
But you cannot skip all the steps of the letter. Like you cannot say, hi, nice to meet you.
I want to get married and have kids. Because even if the guy wants the same, they're going to be like, whoa, you cannot skip the process of getting to know the person and dating and enjoying and falling in love and, you know, deciding that you're gonna build a life together.
Yeah. And you don't want to do it with the wrong person.
Exactly. Because if you force something with the wrong person.
It's probably going to backfire. Backfire.
Backfire. And I do see girls like that a lot.
Yeah. Rushing it.
And I think, you know, for each their own. Who the hell am I to give anybody opinions about dating? Because obviously I'm still single.
I was in a shitty marriage for a long time we're doing the podcast trying to learn you know how to date smarter but I'm not in a relationship yet but I definitely don't think I would rush marriage like I didn't rush the first time but I don't think I would ever rush marriage like in my case I would really enjoy the process when I meet the right person yeah would you ever get married again married again? Yeah. So we were talking about that.
Yeah. I don't know if I would do like married on paper, like sign the piece of paper.
Right. Because I do.
I do believe it, especially I interviewed Christina Rice. She's one of the top divorce attorneys in the United States.
She divorced several famous celebrities, including Shannon Tatum, Elizabeth Banks, Arnold Schwarzenegger. She's fantastic.
You guys should listen to the episode before you get married. And like she said, yeah, no, like she was saying, it's a business transaction.
You know, you're literally signing a document and you need to know what you're signing. So obviously when we're in love, we don't want to think about that.
We want to think, but I love him and I want to go on a honeymoon and all this stuff. But you need to do your homework and decide if it's for you or not.
Yeah. And I just don't know if I want to go through that process again.
I'm not going to say never, but I would live together. Yeah.
If I was madly in love. Yeah.
It's hard. I feel like it's hard these days too too, because look at even just talking about dating.
We feel like people are struggling to date. Marriage is like a whole nother level, right? Marriage is a whole nother level of commitment.
And what I love about you is that you're so accomplished. You're still so young, but you're not like desperate to get married.
You're taking your time.

And I think that's a much better vibe, regardless of whatever age you are.

I think that's the vibe you should approach the dating game.

Totally.

I think you have smaller chances of being burned in the future.

I think so, too.

If you do that.

Yeah.

Now, backtracking, because we started talking about the guy from Burbank.

And I know we're going to get a lot of backlash from this one, but we've got to talk about it.

We talked about, yeah, geography like United States geography. And my opinion is I don't think has anything to do with geography.
I think it has to do with your mindset. But let's talk about local, local geography, because to me, we both live in Beverly Hills.
And even if you guys don't live in Beverly Hills, I believe most markets in the world have the same issue. For example, living in Manhattan is not the same thing as living in Long Beach or New Jersey.
Or living in Miami Beach is not the same thing as living in Hialeah or Doral. It's two completely different universes.
And you and I live in Beverly Hills. I admit I am very, very jaded, to use a nice word, when it comes to dating somebody in certain areas of the greater Los Angeles area, because I don't want a long distance because LA is huge.
It is huge. And I was talking to someone the other day and they were talking about how it's just like the driving situation can be a nightmare yeah it could be a nightmare yeah like especially we all know like certain times of the day traffic in LA it's awful yeah so like the guy that you were talking to at the bar I don't think he was your type of guy anyhow but But to me, like if I'm just meeting someone and he's like, I live in Burbank.
I live in the Valley. I live in like Orange County.
Orange County, that's far. Yeah.
I mean, it's just really, really far. And I don't want to be too bougie about it because, you know, people are like, oh, you live in Beverly Hills.
I'm not a bougie person in general. I think I'm very down to earth.
But I would love to meet a guy within two or three miles. I know, right? Even two miles at certain times of the day is like you take an hour.
You're worse than me. It's so bad.
It could be really a nightmare. Well, this was here.
For example, we are here in West Hollywood, the studio. Yeah.
And we live in Beverly Hills. This was alone today, a 20 minute drive.
It kept going up when I put it in my maps or whatever. The time kept going up and I'm like, what is going on and why did it take me this way? But I would date a guy in West Hollywood.
Yeah. Well, that's pretty close.
But I'm in the bubble. Yeah.
God's honest truth. I don't think I would date a guy in the Valley unless everything else was fantastic about this guy.
Like he was the full package. He was worth the drive.
Yeah. And then I would ask him, are you open-minded to move if we really fall in love? Yeah.
That's a good question. Because if he told me, no, I'm dead set in retiring in the valley, that would be a no-go for me.
No, you're a Beverly Hills girl. What's the farthest you've ever, like location-wise, a guy that you've dated that's like not within your little bubble? Yeah, so my ex-boyfriend lived in the valley.
Oh. And we always joke that, you know, I told you the joke.

Like, you know, I don't know if people, they're not going to relate it if they're not in this area.

But, like, when you go into the valley, right, we go through the canyon.

And you go up and up and up the canyon.

Yeah, the Mulholland.

The Mulholland is, like, the flat line there.

And then you start going down the valley.

And I used to always joke with him, like, oh, my God, I got to go to go to your place hold on let me see if i find my passport because that's the border to cross to the valley and yeah he made fun of it as well yeah but he was dead set he's happy there yeah he's like i like it i don't mind it it's to go everywhere. Like he, so that became a problem for us.
Yeah. And other reasons, of course.
But it was an issue. It was annoying.
Yeah. Like the location becomes an issue probably when there's other issues.
But like it doesn't help because LA is so big. Yeah.
It's got like all these little pockets. So let's talk about your first issue of your newspaper.
Yeah. Because it's this kind of the same situation.
You put out a story of this guy that you were dating. And I said that to you last night, I think was very brave of you, by the way.
Because one thing is when we go through this dating shit show. But another thing is like opening up like I say, yeah, this really sucked.
very vulnerable very vulnerable so i was when i was reading it i was very impressed like wow it's amazing that she's sharing her story because of course everybody relates but very few people have the balls to put it out there thank you so let's talk about that for a second yeah since it's out there anyways right the first issue of love love sex la yeah you were you met this guy on raya raya raya freaking raya i do not like raya i i i think there's like so many douche lords there it's like very interesting it's a very interesting dynamic of people on there it's kind of hit or miss yeah and it's a i never hit i never met you're like it's always a miss because the few guys that i met on raya i think they're so full of themselves or like the entertainment industry i don't know i don't think they're faking it yes they're faking it and i don't think i want to date anybody in that because it's my industry so i don't want to to have, I don't know. And you're kind of like an artist.
Yeah. And I feel like it's hard for two artists or two people in that same business to date for sure.
But you met this dude on Raya. Yeah.
Okay. So you tell me.
So we meet on Raya and okay, you read the article. I read the article.
You read the article. You read the whole thing.
And, you know, we start seeing each other.

Well, actually, it kind of started.

I wasn't really into him at all at first.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

I did not know that part. Yeah.

I think I put it in there maybe.

But I wasn't really into him.

And actually, kind of like he got on my nerves a little bit.

He kind of annoyed me.

It was one of those.

It was like an enemies to lovers.

So what changed?

I don't know what it was. I think I became like very comfortable with him because i looked at him as just like a friend and we ended up going out though i enjoyed his company i really liked him and you know someone coming from like a big close armenian family like he was about the family thing i loved that but then i didn't hear from them.
Oh, okay. Wait.
So how many dates did you guys go on? A few, a bunch? Like it was, it was a few before this happened. Then I didn't hear from him.
Did you have sex? No. Okay.
So you're just making out. Yeah.
And he disappeared. He disappeared.
Okay. Disappeared.
And I knew he was divorced. So he told you he was divorced yeah okay but i hadn't heard from him and then i saw on instagram i see a video and he's got his wedding ring back on his finger that must have hurt your sister is behind the scenes and she's like rolling her eyes that's painful i would have died yeah it was painful but what an-hole.
I hope you're listening. Whoever the hell your name is.
I really hope you're listening. She's doing so much better without you.
She deserves so much better. You are like a bleep in her life.
Well, you know, I have a poet's heart. I do.
I have a poet's heart. So the problem was when they broke up again, we ended up hanging out again.

I know.

I know.

Oh, my God.

Here's the thing.

I wish I could say that, you know, no, I told him no, I was strong.

But no, I had this moment of very human weakness where I felt something.

But did he tell?

Okay, wait.

Because he had his wedding ring on.

So he was back with the ex-wife.

Back with ex-wife.

And then so when he came back into your life, did he tell you, like, I'm not with my ex-wife?

Thank you. But did he tell, okay, wait, because he had his wedding ring on.
So he was back with the ex-wife. Back with ex-wife.
And then, so when he came back into your life, did he tell you, like, I'm not with my ex-wife again? Well, so before they broke up again, I get a text from him, like, after not hearing from him. I was saying, like, basically, my ex-wife and I got back together, but I'd really love to stay friends with you because I think you guys are so cool, whatever.
And at that point, it wasn't, like, so deep in where I was, was like not open to it. I was like, okay, whatever.
We can be friends. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah.
I'll keep doing my thing. Whatever.
Not a big deal. So, but then it was like just like this on and off thing of them kind of breaking up and getting back together.
But, yeah, it turned into, it was chaos. I compare it to like the air one smoothie line at lunch hour like that's what our dynamic turned into just kind of chaos but when he came back into your life did he tell you he was not with the ex-wife anymore yeah so he was playing both of you guys I think he's a player you think it's a player yeah I feel like too douche.
I mean, you know, dating in LA, I feel like everyone wants to have their cake and eat it, too, also. You know what I mean? Some people, yeah.
Yeah. But not everyone.
No, not everyone. And that...
But, yeah, so we got to put it out there. And by the way, this dude, this douche, lives all the way in Hermosa Beach, which I don't even know exactly where that is.
I know that it's really far away, right? It is a distance. And it's so pretty there.
It's a beach, you know? It's so pretty. Okay, but so you are, and I cannot even picture you getting in your car and you're driving all the way to Hermosa Beach to make out with this dude who is on and off with his ex-wife.
You know, when you say it out puts into perspective well you wrote it yourself i know and hearing it out loud now i'm like what was i doing i mean listen i've made all of these mistakes and more so believe me hence the podcast but that's the thing you know what it's a great thing to reflect on yes hopefully people can connect with yeah because like listen at the end of the day I'm not a robot I'm not AI generated this is what I was feeling in the moment you know what I mean and I think we have to do things we have to follow our heart because otherwise how do we learn but don't follow it that far don't fall all the way to Hermosa no don't and then I asked I remember last night I was like okay so if you were doing that the sex must have been like the best sex of your life oh my gosh but here's the thing here's the thing but listen I feel like when it comes to when I care about someone I will like take it I told you I have a poet's heart so like I drove there because like for some reason I felt a connection like have you ever been in a situation where you feel like there's just like a very deep – Hey, Jamie McDonald here. This is my brand new song.
Oh, God, I'm desperate. Down on my knees.
Send help yeah kind of like that's what your heart's like chasing in the moment you know what i mean yeah but usually honestly if i like when i was in a situationship like i said mike in my situationship case the one that that was going on for almost two years that i told you about it was the best sex of my life so i knew this guy's like bad news he's not good for me but i at least I was having like insanely fabulous sex so I kept justifying where did he live here Beverly Hills that's right yeah right yeah I was thinking about the valley guy for some reason no the valley guy we never even had sex should we just like we'll just like refer to guys as their location yeah yeah the Beverly Hills guy the Beverly Hills trust dude yeah I knew he's okay, because like I said, he didn't have a job. He's like partying, going to Barney's Binary until 2 a.m.
on a Sunday. And then we would go back to my place, have sex until 5, 6 a.m.
And my dogs are waking me up at 6.15. And he can go back to his parents' mansion in Beverly Hills and sleep all day by the pool.
And I have to work because I work my off so I'm like okay this guy is not for me but the sex was fantastic however yesterday when I asked you about your Hermosa dude you were I said so was this the best sex of your life you're like no I'm telling you I have totally a poet's heart you know what I mean like that's the problem you know have totally a poet's heart. You know what I mean? Like, that's the problem.
You know, it's a poet's heart. But, you know, I think that I think at the end of the day, like I said, it's like a thing to reflect on.
Yes, of course. We have to learn from our mistakes.
Yeah. And I hope now you know for sure that you deserve much better.
Yeah. Correct.
For sure. let this douche back in your life correct for sure can you sign it in blood here oh my gosh we'll sign it in wine and your sister is not you're not gonna let it happen either right julia she's no yeah yeah she's like she's not allowing this anymore yeah block him from your phone like Like, no, if you told me, Kat with the sex is like out of this world.
Oh my God, you know. Be like, okay, maybe you, whatever.
You moved on from this crap. Yeah.
Okay, good. So the geography situation to finish the subject, because we have so much more to cover.
Would you date a guy in the greater Los Angeles area again that is far from your house again i think it depends on the guy it depends it's that's a gray area right it's not so black and white yeah it's tough yeah although you did tell me like that was another crazy thing that you said like you went on a date this guy was very high end that you want to date with he wanted to take you to the san vicente bungalows on a date which by the way it's one of the most fabulous private clubs everybody wants to go there and you told him that's a little far let's hang out in Beverly I did I was so tired I'm like I just got my period like I'm sorry like I need to stay within like like my little triangle your little Your little Beverly Hills triangle. Yeah, the triangle.
Oh, my God. The golden triangle.
I cannot believe you did that. That's worse than me.
I would have gone on a date there. You know what it was? The thought of just driving there, like, driving there right now.
Even just getting in an Uber. That is not that bad.
Just to put it in perspective for people who are not in L. So you're in Beverly Hills, San Vicente, Bangalows is on the beach.
So going there, happy hour time. You're going against traffic.
So maybe it would have been a 20-minute drive. You're probably right.
It probably would have been like not even 20 minutes. Oh, my God.
But we just, it was Wally's that night. We stuck around Wally's.
This guy must have really really really liked you you know it's all just oh my god that's really funny moving on like we have so many stories we're gonna have to do this episode in two parts so moving on our week so monday we talked to this douche attorney at walley's it was dead like there was nothing going on So we decided to call it the night. We went home.
Then Wednesday was a holiday. So I was out and about.
I was on my way to a business meeting during the day. And I told funny enough, this is the only speaking of insignificant people, I would not even have remembered that this we're going to call him Mr.
Socks. Socks.
Yeah. Mr.
Socks. I would not even have remembered that he exists but as I'm parking my car to go to this meeting at the coffee shop that we love there on South Beverly near the Beverly Hills Newsstand I see this guy coming down the parking lot so he was literally in front of my car so I was in my car but I'm like holy shit I don't want to see this man.
And I put my sunglasses on. Oh, my gosh.
And he walked right by me. And then, thank God.
Did he see you? Yeah. He was like literally, imagine like I'm driving and he was walking out like he was.
And I'm like, I'm not going to say hi to this asshole. And I'll tell you guys why.
Mr. Socks.
Yeah, Mr. Socks.
But then when I was sitting in my meeting at a coffee shop with three dudes, thank God, he walked by lost like he didn't know he was at least he saw me in a meeting like yeah boss lady doing my thing with a bunch of guys around me so I looked good I love that we love but this guy funny and then that's why we decided to talk about him on this episode the reason I remember him is because he was a guy that I went on a million dates with and I hate when guys do that.

Like we went on a million different restaurants, la la la, wine and that.

And I didn't even like him. I was trying to forget my situation.

Oh, my God. He was just like, yeah, it was just like a filler.

Yeah. So finally on we spent New Year's Eve together and everything sucked.

We went back to his place and we kind of started having sex, but we didn't really have sex because I was so hammered, so drunk. I was like, I want to go home and sleep with my dogs.
Yeah, 3 a.m. So we went out one more time and we ended up having sex at his place.
And the reason why I remember it's because the sex was really lame, but he kept his socks on. That's bizarre.
Oh, my God. That is, like, so bizarre to me.
Like, did he just forget? Was he lazy? How do you forget? How do you forget? I think, actually, it's a metaphor of why it didn't work for you. He was too lazy to take his socks off, and you wake up at 6 a.m.
to go to work. He was lazy.
Yeah, it wasn't good sex, period. But I remember when I saw him at one point like I was like is this guy really wearing socks is he serious and you probably like after you saw him did you ever see him again after that no yeah so I came I made up on an excuse because I didn't want to spend the night so I was like you know I have to go home to my dogs oh my gosh the dogs when Yeah, of course.
The dogs were with the pets. It was like, you know what? I think I need to go sleep at my place with my dogs.
But I'm like, yeah, I think if you're that lazy to have sex with socks, like I never want to have sex with you again. But after that, he did show up at I threw a fabulous birthday party that year.
It was not. It was a while ago, by the way.
This, this is not a recent story was like a year and a half. Okay.
He showed up at my birthday party, because I had all these great friends. But then I never saw him again.
So he basically had sex with me and ghosted me. I didn't care about it.
Yeah. But I think that's a very douchey thing to do.
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Well, you know, when I was talking to someone about ghosting today, and it seems like people ghost when they like either don't know really what to say or they don't feel like they've been out with the person or they're just like a total they're a total asshole that they don't know how to communicate.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But we were talking about that this week.

I despise ghosts.

I'm an adult.

Yeah.

I don't think I ever ghosted anyone. If I'm going out with someone, even if it's a few dates, because I believe in karma.
Yeah. I treat people the way I want to be treated.
Yeah. I try to.
Yeah. Even if I never want to see that person again.
First of all, my first idea, which I put out there, I think everybody should do it. Try to repurpose that person.
We were talking about repurposing. You know what's funny, too, about ghosting? Sometimes I'm like, though, is it almost nicer when someone ghosts you? Because then you don't have the reason of why they don't want to talk to you anymore i don't like it i get very offended okay it's offensive but then i'm like it's childish it is childish but i'm also like if they don't tell me why they don't want to see me anymore then i could just come up with the reason myself like oh they must have just felt so in love with me that they They don't want to talk to me anymore then I could just come up with the reason myself.
Like, oh, they must have just felt so in love with me that they can't, they don't want to talk to me anymore.

I like that. It's okay.
I'm too much for them. I know I'm too grateful.
I just think, like I said,

if you never want to see someone again, text them like, you know, this was great, but I'm not

feeling it or, you know, whatever. I'm going to be out of time.
I'm going to be out of the country.

But before you do that, like I said, what is is repurposing look at that person and think like can they be in my life in some other capacity like yeah can they be a friend are they are they capable of being a good friend or can they be a client I do that a lot I try to transform these dudes into my clients for my business. And it works like for my not not the podcast for my PR agency.
Yeah. Many of them have not kidding you.
Like I think three or yeah, three of my clients have been my clients for many, many, many years. Because we either started dating our situation ship or never dated.
Yeah. And I'm like, you know what, I agree.
I completely agree with you. We're a horrible match.
Let's do business and make money together. Yeah.
Why not? Right. Exactly.
Why not? I totally, I agree with that. A good repurposing always works.
Or you repurpose it into like setting them up with someone else. Like I told you I wanted to set you up with someone I went out with.
Yeah. That guy seems very, honestly, he seems very interesting.
I just don't want you to hurt his feelings because, you know, obviously he liked you because he took you on three dates. That's okay.
So be careful, like, how you put it. Then I'm setting him up with my hot friend now.
Oh, you're so sweet. I should be grateful.
But, yeah, so, guys, before you ghost anyone, think about it. Like, how can this person have a purpose in my life? Don't be stupid because many times a person is great in for other things but this mr socks after what he did like you're having sex in your with your socks on you show up at my birthday party you leave and then you never talk to me again like douche so you deserve to be talked about and if you listen you know who you are because you know you're probably one of the few guys i don't ask Sean, my sound engineer.
Is it normal? It's not normal, right, Sean, that guys have sex with socks. It's very 1970s.
Oh. Very 1970s.
Very 1970s. I never, ever want to be in this situation ever again.
Well, and you know what's funny about ghosting is I think there's a time and place for ghosting. Like if you communicate with someone that you are just not into this and you're very forthright about it, but they don't get the hint and they keep going, then you got to ghost them.
No, I agree. If they're like creepy, douchey, if they do something horrible, but I'm saying in general, if it's really just lack of chemistry or you guys don't have anything in common, but maybe you can become best friends or like I said, maybe you can do business together, not like this guy that you that didn't take you to the Santa San Vicente bungalows seems like a lot of his business can help your business and vice versa yeah for sure you know so yeah dating is also like just a form of like networking I feel like people you know what I mean and like you never know exactly so this was wednesday and then thursday which was yesterday we decided to go out and about and we were all over the place and we drank wine in every so i broke all my rules for you this week i drank on monday i drank on thursday i drank like all over town i love it that's okay that we started our week off right.
Yeah. So today's Friday and we're carrying a minor hangover.
But so we started the Peninsula Hotel. Yeah.
The Peninsula Hotel is very old school, usually older people, but I love the vibe. It's always a good vibe there.
It's such a good vibe. Such a good vibe.
They have good drinks, good food. It's so classy.
Yeah. And I never have any complaints about it.
Like, it's just a great spot. But interestingly enough, it was also kind of like on the chill side yesterday.
Usually that bar. So weird.
If you guys ever come to LA, if you are not from the LA area, we highly recommend you go there, right? Yeah, no, definitely. They have live music, great appetizers.
Yeah. So this really nice dude, we only had one chair, this really nice dude was with a girl and he said hey you girls can sit on my chair so he gave you he gave me his chair and he sat on my chair super polite yeah so they were making out at the bar did you see them making out oh my gosh he was all over her yeah like kissing big time yeah when she went to the bathroom, we're like, let's talk to this guy and ask about dating.
So we start talking to him and asking about that. And he's like, I'm not with this girl.
He totally dismissed her. It's wild.
I thought that was very rude. But as soon as she came back, he was all over her again.
Exactly. It was just for, he was like, no, because we said, oh,, you guys married.
How long are you dating? He was like, we're not dating. I'm not dating her.
I'm not with her. He almost acted like he just met her.
And I don't think that was the case at all. That was not the case at all.
No, he was like, we're just friends. He was like, no, we're just friends.
I would be so hurt if I went to the bathroom and the guy I'm making out with said that about me behind my back. Well, and I think he did it because he obviously wants to keep his options open.
So rude. So rude.
So rude. And I think that's the kind of stuff that women are complaining about when it comes to dating in L.A., like that kind of stuff.
But also, she didn know you know what i mean she didn't she did not

know that he's like she went to the bathroom she went to the bathroom yeah so i thought that okay

douche and i actually asked him what do you think about dating nelly he's like same thing a lot of

guys say that it's too much work yes uh a lot of phonies right like uh i don't have the patience

for it i don't want to do it interestingly enough a lot of the guys we meet they're like yeah i want

to be in a relationship, but I don't really want to date. Like, they're not, like, you know, actively pursuing a relationship.
Well, and if they are, I think that it's the same thing. They want to keep their options open.
It's such a vast city.

There's so many people.

They think there's always something.

The grass is greener on the other side, you know?

This is what I think, my personal opinion.

If somebody wants to keep their options open, they don't really want a relationship.

I agree.

They're not ready for it. But they want someone consistent.

They're still playing around.

So that they're not alone.

I feel like a lot of people don't like being alone, especially in a city like this. Could be.
That they might want someone that's consistent, but they're not putting all their eggs in that basket. Yeah, could be.
But I do think, like, if a guy wants a relationship, he's going to date with intention. Like, I'm trying to find the person for me.
These dudes, they're full of shit. Yeah.
They don't want to be in a relationship. Like you said, they want to maybe a hot date, maybe some other dinner, maybe some whatever.
But I don't think they really, really want to be in a relationship. Yeah.
I think that's actually a very common thing that people and maybe that's why people complain about dating in cities. Because I think that there's like a lack of communication on what people want.
And a lot of the time they're trying to force a situation with a person that doesn't actually want to fully commit. You know what I mean? Like they don't want a relationship, like you said.
So tough. So they get stuck in this rut of playing these games, you know.
But interestingly enough, there were a lot of other guys at the peninsula, much older guys, but very nice, very classy guys. One of them talked to us, gave us French fries.
and the other ones were staring at us the whole night. Like, okay, you want to talk to us? Come.
Too ashamed, too embarrassed. And then when we were leaving, they're like, oh, you guys are leaving.
We want to say hi. Oh, my gosh.
Why do men do that? Guys, if you want to say hi to women at bars, go say hi. Girls love that.
But I think it's your plunger theory. The plunger theory.
They need like an icebreaker of some sort. Yeah.
The plunger theory is the following. If you guys didn't listen to the episode, it was one of the funniest episodes I ever did two years ago.
My girlfriend said, because guys are so shy approaching women, if you walk around with a very bizarre object, of course, we went crazy. We were walking around with a plunger.
Everybody's going to come and approach you and say hi. And that did work.
If you watch the episode, every single bar we went to, like the entire bar would come and talk to us. Yeah.
But I know most people don't have the balls to walk around with a plunger. With a plunger.
Yeah. But it can be something else less crazy.
For example, it can be a little dog. Because a lot of guys will approach you.
Like if you have a little dog, like, oh, how cute. Yeah.
Or I don't know, something else. You should come up with like a whole thing for women to take to the bars or restaurants as icebreakers.
But for me, I will tell you what. I don't like shy men.
Yeah. And I like men that, you know, have initiative and are going to come and talk.
Well, with your personality, you know what I mean? you what I don't like shy men yeah and I like men that that that you know have initiative and are going with your personality you know what I mean you're so I wouldn't like if a guy is shy to begin with like that he doesn't even have the confidence to say hi you know where your girl's from or what are you up to if he if he doesn't say anything it probably wouldn't be a match for me yeah I like guys that you talk. Yeah, they have that initiative.
Yeah. So we left the peninsula and we went to Dante.
Dante. That was really, everything was slow last night.
It was weird. And it's a gorgeous place in Beverly Hills.
So pretty. Fabulous view on top of the, what's the name of the hotel? Mayborn.
Mayborn. Yeah.
On top of the Mayborn. Fabulous first date place by the way.
Yeah. Yeah.
If somebody took me there for a first date, I would be very happy because it's a super cute place. It was also very chill, very dead.
Everything felt very slow last night, and I wonder why that is. Is it like summer traveling? I don't know.
Is it, it was Thursday? Is it a holiday? I have no idea. But funny enough, one thing we noticed, we were sitting at the bar, having a glass of wine, talking to the bartenders, and all the tables were packed.
And when we walk, like, let's say to go to the bathroom or something, the guys at the tables, even with the women next to them, like stare at us. They were walking by.
They were gawking. And like, that's how we got into talking about is staring like a form of like cheating in a way because I asked you like you know oh if you were sitting with your guy at dinner and two girls walked by and your guy like stared at these girls would you be pissed and you were like yeah he wouldn't be my guy anymore I did that's what I said I'm like not about that at all so do you think like looking at beautiful people is it's not cheating right but is this like disrespectful well I think it's disrespectful when you're like on a date and supposed to be present with someone else you know what I mean it should be a little more discreet yeah like I think I mean they were sitting right by them eating yeah the guy went guy went literally with his eyes.
Like, he followed us and a big smile. Yeah.
So I'm not about that at all. I think, yeah, it would, to be completely, completely honest, I wouldn't be that mad because if two super hot guys walked by, I mean, I wouldn't gawk.
But I would look. I would stare, maybe smile, just because I like looking at beautiful people.
Even if it was two beautiful girls. Yeah.
Because I like looking at other beautiful girls. I'm not bisexual.
I'm not a lesbian. Nothing like that.
I'm just saying that when I see a girl dressed super nice or she's gorgeous, I'm like, wow, you know, that girl looks. So I like people watching and staring and staring at people yeah so I don't really see too much into it I think it depends on like the intent of it and your relationship with the person yeah and if you know you can trust them because if it's someone that you don't trust as it is yeah you know what I mean exactly I don't think you should be with someone you don't trust no what a nightmare yeah nightmare.
Yeah, exactly. So if you're just looking, I would probably be OK with that.

But a lot of the guys did that. Like they stared at us.

Yeah.

After Dante, where do we go?

Skybar?

Oh, yeah. We went to the Skybar because there was like a small event there.

Skybar is also so beautiful.

It was very chill again. Not a lot of people like usual.

And there was a dude there that started talking to you. a really nice guy by the way bought us wine yeah and by then we didn't even want to drink anymore oh my gosh it was in so many glasses of wine for but he was nice enough he was like going through a divorce and everything hey i'll buy you girls a drink very gentleman he texted me by the way last night yeah he was like where did you girls go where are you that's so funny yeah oh my god yeah yeah he he was getting divorced right yeah he said he's still living in the same house and going through a divorce and then he was like cat i would love to see you again i was like as a friend see repurposing yeah if you want to be my friend that's okay i would never ever date some dude i my ex-boyfriend was going through a divorce by the way and it backfired on me i never want to date a guy who doesn't have his business one million percent done yeah totally because that's just that's a lot of baggage yeah i don't want to be in that mess it's a mess it's a mess especially if there's kids involved yeah exactly i'm like no get your divorce done

and then there was an odd dude there that was totally hammered and all over you and you were like well i told him one point i was like you gotta back up yeah like you've gotta back up i'm sorry like yeah he was too drunk he was too high and too drunk so gross yeah and then after the sky bar if You guys believe that we went to one more place which is night and day like total opposite of all the other places we went to if you guys never heard of it it's called barney's beanery yeah it's a hole in the wall but it's like an iconic spot it's been there very iconic my jesus and then when taylor swift was here in la god knows why she went to barney's binnery so now people like it even more just because she was there yeah i feel like it's definitely like a very like aesthetic thing people are into right like the whole but it's cool it's like it's a bar it's totally opposite of like the places we talk about yeah peninsula dante all that it's like a totally different vibe a totally different group of people you know what i mean but still like a wide age range i don't know if you've noticed that like there were people that seem like older and then like 20s it's a mixed bag very casual beer type bar it has some pool tables in the middle yeah it's like i don't like the food it's like all greasy all american food and i don't drink beer you don't drink beer either i don't drink beer either. I don't drink beer.
It makes me sick. It makes me sick.
But it's not a place to order wine. And we ordered wine.
And the wine was... Well, actually, we tried to order champagne.
And they're like, we have sparkling wine. Champagne, quote unquote.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh.
I think that's what gave me the headache because it was super cheap, sparkling wine. That probably is what gave you the headache Yeah.
And I, you know, when you're drinking and you know, it's very sugary and crap. And I don't know, that place is just not my vibe.
And this guy that I was in a situation ship with that I was falling for him. Like I was really developing like major feelings for this guy.
Yeah. I was almost in love with him.
Not just because the sex, but I really liked him. And it's one of his favorite hangouts.
It's, like, definitely a spot. And I think it's because it's open so late, too.
Open until 2 a.m. Yeah, it's open late.
Most places in West Hollywood are open until 2 a.m., I think. Like the bars and stuff.
Right, Sean? Sean probably knows better. A lot of people, like, I mean, it's been there forever.
Like, Jim Morrison used to drink at the bar and he's going to read. Really? Yeah, it's an iconic spot.
Yeah. Route 66.
Yeah, I know. I mean, that's been there forever.
Like Jim Morrison used to drink at the Barney scenery. Really? Yeah, it's an iconic spot.

Yeah.

Route 66.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, I know people love it.

I'm just saying it's not my favorite.

It's not my vibe.

And maybe because I have, like I said, I have these bad memories because I'm like, I was dating this dude.

And, you know, we would stay out, like you said, until 2 a.m., until the freaking bar closed.

Yeah. And I remember one day I went to the bathroom and i looked at myself in the mirror i was drunk it was sunday night yeah 2 a.m and i'm at the bar and i looked at myself in the mirror i was like katherine what the fuck are you doing here are you crazy you have a job you have a business you have shit to do you bills.
You don't have a trust fund. You cannot sit by the pool all day.
What is wrong with you? I like, it was a wake-up call that I couldn't have that lifestyle. Oh, my gosh.
That's so funny. But you know what's interesting? We were talking to some people there.
Yeah. Because I wanted to find out, too, like, you know, it's a different group of people, like, their experience with dating.
And some of the people I talked to, they were, their 20s and they the guys playing pool but they looked a lot older by the way i thought they were way older the guy that like the italian guy that you ask when when he said he was 20 i was like yeah he's 22 or something right yeah i was like dude you're in really bad I was shocked. I figured he was at least 30.
I thought he was more.

Me too, but like at least. He looked really rough.
Yeah, but they were talking about how they, these guys were younger, and they even had the same kind of like negative thought process about dating in LA that some of these people have. They were saying like, well, the one guy, he lived in like the South Bay area and he was talking about how he just felt like a lot of the girls were stuck up.
It's just complicated, like putting himself out there, I guess. I know.
It's funny because, yeah, all the guys we talked to in all of these places, not one said, oh my God, it's so much fun. And, fun and you know I'm having a great time I really want to meet someone everybody kind of complained that it's a shit show out there so the good news is it's not just girls that think there's a shit show no I think it's guys everyone thinks it's a shit show so well yeah we we're gonna talk about our conclusion in a minute so after barn luckily my ex situationship was not there can you imagine i would yeah what would you have done would you have like just walked right past him would you have said hello what would i have done uh i don't know i i probably would have said hi yeah yeah i don't know yeah i because i was a little drunk a little very little tipsy were you a little I started to feel it very little yeah I wasn't like drunk no but I was hoping I wasn't gonna I didn't want to see him yeah yeah I don't I don't want to see him I'm trying to stand firm on my resolution of not totally seeing him again because it definitely in the beginning we were dating and then it just became booty calls yeah and then you know yeah no i deserve so much better yeah i don't but i'm glad he wasn't there so we decided to wrap up our night at the soho house which is one of my favorite hangout spots here in la um it was also very chill there yeah everywhere i'm like I'm like, is there a holiday that I don't know about right now? Like, what was a holiday in the middle of the week? But I don't know if that affected? Yeah, how people go out in LA in general.
But I wonder if it'll be busier tonight, Friday. We can try again.
I'm still recovering. I know.
Same. Yeah.
Like tonight is like water water only but we didn't talk to anybody there was nobody there no no there really wasn't we we ordered a wine and we didn't even finish the wine it was very chill no no guys to talk about and they were like okay that's it but in general so what's the? I think it's tough for everybody.

Nobody's saying that dating is like paradise.

Yeah.

I think that everyone has a very similar outlook on it.

Yeah.

And it seems that, I mean, even the Uber driver that we talked to between one of our spots, what did he say again?

I forget.

He was saying like, it's just too complicated. It's too complicated.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
The Uber driver had an accent and he was like, no, I'm from L.A. I'm not from anywhere else.
But he was from somewhere else. But he was like, no, I'm from here.
And then he said he doesn't want to date because, yeah, it's too complicated. He can't trust anyone.
Yeah. So guys are are super jaded as well so what do we do i my conclusion this is my conclusion and i know a lot of people don't want to agree with me like i said it's your mindset yeah because you can say whatever you want about la and like i said if you talk to the girls in miami they complain you talk to the girls in new york you complain and i have a friend that lives in lives in Canada and Canada there's tons and tons of men and she's like yeah but they all suck because they're all shitty I think you need to go about the dating life like the dating world with an open mind if you want to find a relationship yeah just think like you know what the right person for me is out there looking for me as much as I'm trying to find them totally totally otherwise you know yeah if you decide everybody sucks yeah everybody's gonna suck what's gonna happen but it was a really fun experiment being out and about with you yeah so fun so fun it was definitely an experiment and I think just from doing all of this and you you told me you're like casually dating someone we're not gonna anything about it.
But I really hope that continues to go really well for you. Yeah, we'll see what happens, right? Because you deserve a prince.
No matter what, I know you're not going to let this douche on your first episode of your paper come back into your life. I know.
I know. It's so funny.
Like, I don't know. It's an eye-opening experience dating, you know? It's a lesson.
Everything is a lesson, right? And then, like I said, we try not to make the same mistakes again. When are you putting the next episode of Love Sex LA out? The next one will be out a week from today.
So next Friday. Oh my God.
That's so exciting. I know.
How can people find it? So it's at the Beverly Hills Newsstand. And I will also put out a link for like the digital version of it.
OK, awesome. I'm going to share that link because it's so cute.
And it's like so touching stories because like we were saying, so many people, you know, I think every single person in the world has good and bad stories, right? Good people that go through their life and bad people that go through their life. And, you know, just a grain of salt I think at the end of the day we should all be like be respectful of each other like I said don't ghost be nice to people treat people don't want to be treated yeah for sure and I'm sure this goes for everything and this has to go back I guess to like just dating in such a big city I'm sure like in my situation that person person wasn't a fit for me, but he's gonna be a fit for someone else.
And like the same goes for me, you know what I mean? Like that's what- You know, this guy that you were dating, what do you call him on the paper? Storm? The Storm. The Storm.
The Storm. I have a hunch he's a player and I don't think he probably told his wife, ex-wife about you.
Yeah, I don't know. You know, so I feel bad for her.
Yeah, I know. Because he's, you know, he's a douche.
He doesn't know what he wants. And you're gorgeous.
You're so talented. You're so successful.
You deserve someone so much better. Oh my gosh, you're so nice.
It was such an honor hanging out with you. So much fun.
It was so much fun. So much fun.
Congratulations on everything you do. You're always welcome to do another episode because I hope we're going to hang out again.
Oh, my gosh. Of course.
And tell people where they find you on Insta if anybody wants to follow. Although I'm going to put all the links on the episode if they're listening.
Yeah. And they want to find you.
So my personal Instagram is Alexandria underscore Ryzik. And then then love sex la is just all one word love sex la and i love it love sex la it's kind of like a sex in the city totally in la so we're gonna we're definitely gonna do more adventures and bring you guys our conclusions but i think for me honestly what i always like to say is never give up on love no No, you can't give up on love.
Exactly. Because some people get so tired.
They're like, oh, I give up. Never give up.
No. Keep going because the right person for you is out there trying to find you.
Exactly. Thank you so much for doing this, Alex.
Thank you. And now we're friends.
I know. So much fun.
Don't date in Hermosa Beach. Put your racial like.
And you can't date in the valley. Exactly.
I don't want the valley. I want to find somebody like, you know, our standards get higher and higher and higher.
Oh, my God. But we will get everything we deserve.
That's right. Yeah.
If you believe it. Exactly.
If you believe it, you get it. Thank you so much, guys.
Be safe out there. And I'll see you again very soon.
Alex Rizik, congratulations on all your success.

You're amazing.

You're the best.

Hey, Jamie McDonald here.

This is my brand new song. Be sure to check out my breakout single, Desperate, on all streaming platforms.