FILM DIRECTOR ABENI NAZEER

My guest today, Abeni Nazir, is a woman that I admire so much.

She's a film director, film producer, owner of Abeni Productions,

best well known for directing the psychological thriller Sin,

starring Angel Love and Louise Gossett Jr.

She was raised in Baltimore, Maryland and started her career as a filmmaker

when she was only 15 years old, and she's really, really good at it.

I met her last year on set of a very special project she was working on a music video for her brother musical artist i am results for the song deep which is a very powerful song i was cast on a really really important very emotional role was one of the most special experiences of my life. And the minute I met Abani, I was like, wow, this girl really knows her game.
It's incredible how she commands a room. She commands the crew, the actors.
She makes everything happen. I fell in love with her work and I have been wanting to talk to her ever since, especially because I am all about finding women kicking ass in the entertainment industry and paving ways for others.
So I hope you guys enjoy this very, very special conversation with Benny Nazir. And don't forget to go after your dreams, no matter what anyone says.
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It's such an honor to have you here. I'm so happy to be here.
I am so happy to have you. So let's tell everybody how we met before I start bombarding you with questions because, you know, I'm a huge fan.
You picked me and I was in heaven to be on a music video for your brother, who is a very talented musician and rapper. Resorts, by the way, that's his name.
Yeah, and I love his work and I'm going to tell you guys where you can go and see the music video. So I show up on set.
You cast me to do this music video. I show up on set.
I had no idea what I had to do. And I remember getting there and it was a crew, mostly men, like most of the time in this industry, right? And there you are.
And you are the boss lady of everything. You are producing, you are directing, you are telling everybody what you're doing.
Filming. Filming with major, major, like, serious equipment, like you're not an amateur.
So I looked at him like, wow, I want to know who this person is. I was very, very impressed by how well you knew your game.
Yeah. So let's backtrack your story for people that don't know you.
How did you get in this industry? Because you started very young. Yeah, I started, I was about, well, I started in drawing and painting as a little kid, maybe like seven years old.

And then I got into photography, maybe preteen.

And I want to say around 15 is when I was like, I fell in love with film and video.

And I actually like, I don't consider myself in the industry, you know, I consider myself outside of the industry. Because I don't strive to like work in the industry or like follow the industry rules or anything like that.
I grew up in like peer-to-peer organizations and nonprofit organizations. So it was so much like passion and like love and just like, it was a different approach to filmmaking.
When I started film, I didn't even know it was a job. Like I was so young and I was just like, you looked at someone that inspired you.
It was so weird because like, as I was younger, I've always been so into it, like just as a passion that I just, I got good at the skill. And people ask me, oh, you remind me of this person, or you remind me of Steven Spielberg.
And I'm like, who are these people? And somebody had to tell me, Abeni, you have to do research and know who these people are. A little bit.
Yeah. And I would just be like, oh, I don't know.
I'm so out the loop, to be honest with you. I love that.
Like, it's really just a passion and, like, it's a privilege to be able to, like, tell people stories and capture it. And, like, people open up to me.
And even, like, when you came on set and, like, you were, it was so easy working with you. Like, that's a privilege for me.
Like, you know what I mean? Like, to be able to work with you and stuff. And I really find.
Likewise, it's a privilege for an actor to work. God's honest truth.
such a good director like you know what I mean like to be able to work with you and stuff and I really like wise it's a privilege for an actor to work a god's honest truth such a good director like you because yeah I've been on sets ever since I was a little kid on and off and I'm kind of like you I do it obviously I'm not a famous actor I'm not making millions yet yes but I do it for the passion I have for the art. I love telling stories.
Yeah. And when, like you said, when you connect with people, and of course, I love working with women because we don't see that a lot in this business and we need to talk about that.
But when I meet somebody like you and I'm like, man, you're on top of your game. That's like my dream because you know how to give direction.
You know exactly what you want. Yeah.
And honestly, it was one of the most fun, most powerful jobs of my entire life. Oh my God.
Are you serious? I'm dead serious. That means so much to me.
I'm dead serious. I'm not saying that because you're here.
I'm saying that from the bottom of my heart. And I fell in love with you and your work.

But to me as an actor, because it was a music video.

Let's tell everybody what it was about so they understand what we're talking about. Because it was a music video, but it was like movie.

It was almost like movie scenes, kind of.

No, big time.

And it was very powerful.

Yeah.

Because the song is about a young guy that has a new family, right? And I was playing the wife of this guy. Yeah.
And he has a kid from a previous marriage. And so they're this super happy couple.
And he goes out one day. No, they go out.
Oh, my God. Yeah, we go on a date, like a really romantic date.
And something horrible happened. I'm not going to say everything because I want you guys to go and watch the video.
It's on my YouTube channel. It's on my social media.
I'll tell you guys all about it. But basically, they are on a date and they get pulled over by a cop and he dies.
And the whole time you're giving me direction, telling me what to do. I was thinking, like, can you imagine going through that in real life, which happens to people all the time? And your brother is singing about that as you guys are telling the story.
So it's a very, very, it's a music video, but like I said, it's almost like a short, very short movie. Yeah.
It's like a short film. And he wanted to like he wanted to have that deep aspect to it.
And I was like, I love it. Like, you know.
So when you work with an artist, like you listen to a song, how do you create the scenes in your mind? You create everything yourself. Like you put that to reality so like so like as of now I don't even take work for hire anymore um and like that video I only did it because it was my brother but in the past like when I first started when I learned that you can make money in this industry I was taking work for for hire and I was doing like tons of music videos.
And what I would

do actually, I would just like talk to the artists. I would understand them and like their writing,

you know, as they came up with the song and like just try to understand their background and what

they're trying to bring to life. And then from there, I'll just try to create something that

represents them. Because at the end of the day day I want like every project is different tailored to the artist I'm working with yeah and I try to like bring their vision to life I do like add my little two cents but it's not like what I would do is what it's like the the potential that I see in them or like you know like like I would imagine like if they were like the super, super big successful artists with like millions and millions of followers.
And like, what will they bring? What will their followers want to see? And I kind of look at it from that perspective. And it's not easy to bring that to life.
Very few people can do that. So obviously a very creative mind.
Yeah, I didn't see it. It's so easy for me.
And like, even when I'm talking to people and there is like, like as I'm, because I train a lot of people too. And when it's too difficult for them, sometimes I can't work with them or I can't train them because you do have to have a certain mindset and a certain personality, I guess.
Or maybe just a certain, I don't know what it is. Like, it's like the it factor thing that sometimes you just got to have it.
Yeah, no, absolutely. And I remember we were on set and you said to me, because you're very kind and doing talk and everything.
I wish you guys would see her work because when you're working, you're like, but you're very, you're very sweet. And most directors are not.
And you looked at me and said, do you mind if we use fake blood on you? And I was like, no, please do whatever you have to do. Because I understand this scene is going to be so powerful.
Because basically I'm sitting with my husband in a car. And we are having the most romantic date, night.
And literally his brain is going to get blown up. He's going to die in front of you.
So I completely understood. And you were so kind asking.
And for me as an actor, I was so into it. I was like, I would do anything in this world.
But it is very powerful and very emotional. It's very easy to touch you because the whole time I was thinking, I cannot believe that so many people actually go through this.

Yeah.

And you're like living it almost in the film.

Yes.

You have to.

Because we were there and it was a very long day of shooting.

I think most people don't even realize, like, to do a four or five minute music video, how many hours of work, right?

You have to be like insanely dedicated.

Yeah.

So by the time we did that scene,

I think it was the last one,

it was maybe 14 hours into it.

Wow.

I'm not even realizing how long it is.

Don't get me in trouble.

Did I feed you guys?

Did we take breaks?

You took many breaks. You fed us so much.
She's crazy. She had this whole room in the house.
It was a treat room. This entire room in the house had cupcakes, cookies, and candy, and this, and that, and that, and that, all kinds of food.
Yes, we were very well treated. But, you know, just to put it in perspective for people that are not in this industry, it's not like you show up and you do like, you spend many, many hours to.
For sure. So when people watch like a four or five minute, and then you spend many more hours after that editing and everything, putting it together.
And I edited the project myself as well. Yeah.
Yeah. So for me, normally, it's honestly, it's very easy for me to cry on cue because I'm very emotional by nature.
Yeah. But that day, it was even easier.
Wow. What's your zodiac sign? Pisces.
Oh, my God. Why? What's yours? Scorpio.
But see, Pisces and Scorpio are so compatible. Really? And like we're so emotional together.
Scorpio is emotional? Very emotional. I don't know anything about Scorpio.
Oh yeah, no. Scorpio and Pisces are like perfect compatible sign.
I know that Pais is everybody makes fun of me because I cry all the time. I cry when I watch movies.

I cry when I see the news.

I cry when I see the news. I cry when I see something I like.
And so when I have to act, they're like, can you cry? I'm like, oh, yeah, give me a minute. But obviously some situations it's harder because I'm not that touched.
But with the story of this music video, the song is called Deep, by the way. So if you guys want to go watch it, it it's on my youtube it's on your brother's uh youtube channel on your brother's instagram so i'll put the link on this episode because it's it's really really worth it's beautiful work but yeah that day i was like okay i can cry all day because i can't imagine a family going through that yeah and many times there's no justice right people just get killed by by cops or whatever by other people obviously and and so much violence on there and there is no justice yeah so okay going back to all the stuff you do you start at 15 you weren't inspired by anybody you you just did it because you love it you self-taught yeah how to use all this equipment and everything.
So how did you get into making movies? Because it's not easy to get in this industry at all. Well, I guess I like, because I think that what made it easy is just not thinking that I was trying to get in the industry.
Because it's like, even hearing it, it sounds weird, because I never remember myself trying to get into the industry maybe you did maybe that's why you were maybe that's why I was able to because I never thought of it that way I was just literally um I would have ideas or like I would meet people and I would be like oh my like you know who people did inspire me it was the people like real people just I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, and the people there really inspired me. Like their stories and stuff I would witness.
Like I would witness the stories and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I want to capture this, not to exploit you, but to like, for you to say what you learned from it or for other people to experience it through film and learn something from it. So like I guess that was my inspiration.
And then just like making social change media, like media that will impact the community or the society or the culture. You know what I mean? Like I was so into it.
And don't ask me why. I have no idea.
Like maybe I was just raised that way. Like my parents were just.
Were they supportive of. Very supportive.
Oh, that helps, right? Yeah. That helps big time.
They were very supportive. Like even if I needed like my mom or my dad to like be an actor, like they would totally do it.
Like, you know, they was just like whatever I needed from them.

Oh my God, that's amazing.

Because a lot of people don't have that.

Yeah, and I have a big family.

So like my entire family was super supportive.

And they still are.

Oh, now I mean, come on.

Now you're kidding me ass.

You don't care about the industry,

but I really, really see you like on stages winning awards very soon.

Yeah, and like that's crazy because I don't, because I never strive for it or imagine that per se, but I guess it just comes with it. Yeah, but I always believe in that.
I think the more you do it from your heart, anything you do, I say that about my podcast, all my work, no matter what I do, I think in order for the audience to connect with you and for your work to come out like good. Yeah.
You can't just do it thinking about dollar signs. Right.
Or like, oh, my God, I think it has to come from a place of like love, passion. Like you said, kindness or like I need to tell the story.
It has to be a different reason. Yeah, for sure.

Like it has to be passion driven.

And for me, like even me being a Scorpio,

since I am very emotional like that too,

I can't even, like when I'm in rooms or spaces that don't have that like love aspect

or when it's too businessy, it doesn't work for you.

Like I can't work like that.

And people will tell me like, you can't,

you need to stop mixing business with pleasure

or like fam, don't work with your family

Thank you. it doesn't work for me.
I can't work like that. And people will tell me like, you can't, you need to stop mixing business with pleasure or like fam, don't work with your family or like, you know, people, people in the industry will try to teach me how to take that love away from my work.
But whenever I do that, I'm not successful. And I like, I just had to figure out what works for me.
Yes. You have to follow your gut.
I know it's funny how people always try to change us to adapt to something that they think is the right thing to do. Yeah.
Especially in the entertainment industry. Yeah, which was usually those rules are usually created by men.
Yes. And it's like and of course men aren't gonna't going to lead with like emotion or, you know, they're big on not incorporating the two.
But that literally is what got me so successful. Yeah.
So let's talk about that for a minute, because this is a male dominated industry, right? It's like, I don't know the percentage, but most of the time when you walk on any set, movie, TV, videos, commercials, it's like mostly men, especially directors. And I think it's amazing that there are certain women really paving the way and knocking doors.
And like you said, we are not going to stop talking. We're not going to stop telling stories.
And I think it's really, really important. Did you feel any obstacles in your way when you started making movies? Because A, you're a woman.
You're a black woman from Baltimore. You're gorgeous.
By the way, if you guys are listening to the episode, do me a favor and go watch the videos. Because you could be a model, obviously.
You could be a top model. You know that.
You photograph insanely well. You're kind and sweet, but you decide, I'm going to make movies, which I love.
And then you said, I'm going to direct, which is really tough because, like you said, when you're directing, you have many people on a set. Many people.
You've got to deal with the actors. You've got to to deal with background.
You got to deal with the crew. No, no.
It's really tough. Did you feel being a woman made it harder for you when you started? No, I didn't.
Like, for some reason, it was like, it was so easy for me. And I just didn't think of it that way.
Like, especially like the more people, the funner I have, like getting everybody into character and like bringing the vibe and the love into the room and like making sure everybody is like comfortable and ready to do the work. And like, I felt like me being a woman made it a little bit easier and I was able to like squeeze through some cracks, you know, since I was like a pretty girl or, you know, like, I don't know, like for me I maybe I just used it to my advantage but you know one thing that um yeah I just used it like I don't think of things of the negative aspects so I don't even like know what and maybe there was negative aspects that I just didn't realize yeah that's a fantastic way to to go about work it was one thing that I did that I do, is that, which it doesn't bother me.
And because, again, I use this to my advantage. But a lot of times if I'm like meeting with somebody or meeting someone for the first time, and if I have like my father with me or my boyfriend at the time, Chris, like he would be with me all the time when I was working.
They would just confront them in and they would just ignore. Like they would just ignore me as like, I'm not a Bainey from a Bainey Productions and I'm the one that's making everything come together.
They would just kind of like not even acknowledge me and just talk to the men that the men don't even know. Do you think because they were afraid of the man that worked with you? Maybe.
I have no idea. See, I didn't even think about it.
I don't know if it's because I was a girl and they just address. Like when you have a man and a woman, you usually just address the man.
I don't know what it was. Which shouldn't be that way because it's your name, like the title of your, it's your company.
It's a Benny Productions. You're the boss.
Yeah. Right.
But since I have my family with me, like my dad or my boyfriend, they just assume that, that well these men must be doing it for her or helping her or financing her or whatever like that which was never the case but um but I did get that but again I would use that to my advantage like I would play green um when when it was helpful for me or like it just didn't bother me you know I don't know I don't know I was just like okay you're just always so cool and chill about everything

like you're like

whatever

yeah me or like it just didn't bother me you know I don't know I don't know I was just like you're just always so cool and chill about everything like you're like whatever I'm just yeah I was like I was like you know what good because I got other stuff to worry about so you go talk to these people since they want to talk to you and I'll go over here you didn't even care yeah I didn't I think I would it's funny because you're usually the Scorpios like you're a little more like fiery. And I'm very emotional.
But if I were in this situation and somebody wouldn't address, I'd be like, excuse me. No, but see, I'll say that.
But I'll say that in my head. I have a big mouth.
My head makes my mouth speak. Yeah, it was okay, though.
I see the beauty in the situation so yeah it didn't bother me that's amazing yeah so how many movies have you made so far well as far as feature films like i have a tons of like shorts and stuff like that but as far as a feature film i have one complete called sin and it's um um starring the late luke g Jr., who just passed away. Like, legendary actor.
And it's tons of other actors. Angel Love, Marquand Smith.
I mean, there's, like, tons of, like, actors. I wish I could name everybody, but there's so many, and they're, like, blocking my head.
Shawn Nelson. Hey, Jamie McDonald here.
This is my brand new song. Oh God, I'm desperate.
Down on my knees. Send help from heaven.
Cause that's what I need. I need heaven and I'm desperate.
Desperate, on all streaming platforms.

Bella Black, who actually plays Sin.

So that was my first feature.

We shot in Atlanta.

And then my next feature is a horror film, which I'll shoot starting July 22nd. Okay.
I volunteered to audition for that. Yes.
I was so happy to do anything for you again. Like just to be on your set.
And I'm not kidding you guys. If you are anybody that likes acting, anybody that likes movies, if you watch her work, and I wish you could see her work because it's very inspiring.
Like to me, it's a really big deal. I love when I'm on a set and I see girls, women, because it's very rare, number one.
But to see a woman that really knows what she's doing and taking charge and telling stories, I think that's very powerful because we need much more of that. And I think you were very lucky in many ways that you didn't see resistance because of the fact that you're a woman.
But because unfortunately, like you said, there's still so many stereotypes towards women in entertainment. they are like there's no matter what we do like like you said they think if you're a movie producer

direct oh somebody's paying for, somebody's backing her up. Yeah.
If you do a pod, I get asked that all the time, do a podcast. Oh, but how are you paying for it? Like how I'm paying? I'm paying for myself.
I work seven days a week. Dude, I don't have a sugar daddy.
I don't have a sugar daddy I don't have a daddy

I don't have a husband

and my sponsors pay for it

because they like my work

exactly

but I get annoyed sometimes

when I get these questions

because I don't think people ask that from a guy

like if you see a guy directing a movie

I don't think anybody has the balls to say

oh who's funding it?

your wife?

right

right

or even a podcast

like you see a successful podcast

nobody would say to him like

Thank you. the boss just say oh who's funding it your wife right right or even a podcast like you see a successful podcast nobody would say to him like I'm sorry but um who's helping you like with all this shit who pays for you we don't do that to men no men are much more respected like in what they do than we are you know what I like hearing you talk one thing that I didn't notice and i won't like drop any names or whatever but when i was younger and when i was just like trying to like like i was trying to so i had a mentor kevin lyle's and he was he's in the industry of um executive for 300 entertainment he used to work with def jam so he's like super in industry so when he was mentoring me and i, we're kind of working under him.
I was just young and didn't really know what direction I was going in. And I was just working with whoever I could.
And I did notice like resistance because I was a young female that I felt like people would stereotype me or think like, like maybe I'm just screwing everybody in the industry or maybe like almost like they would try to give me a hard time because I was a young female and they didn't want me to like take their place or get like, they didn't want their man to be attracted to me. I did have that.
And, and again, that it was weird. Like I was just thinking like, like I can't help, like I'm not on that.
Like, you know what I mean? But it's like I can't help like how I look like whatever or like to your man or whatever. But we're not like that or whatever.
But I did get that energy. But that's the only other thing I can think of.
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I never work like that. And I always say that on the podcast and my social media, I think, especially women, but i i believe in joining forces i don't believe like i don't even like the word competition i never ever use the word competition even other podcasts i think okay they're doing an amazing job fantastic there is room for everybody we can there's endless number of stories that we can tell right the same way endless number of songs that we can write or whatever we want to do.

So when I meet a girl that does, I'm like, let's collaborate.

Right.

What can I do for you?

I think I'm like, I'm thinking like, because, you know, I come from family oriented type

stuff.

So it's like, I'm thinking like family and like team and, you know, but it just like

when people did that, it let me, it helps me to set boundaries and it lets me know that

at the end. and like team and you know but it just like like when people did that it let me it helps me to set boundaries and it lets me know that it's like I shouldn't be working with that person anyway because they have something they're going through or they have setbacks or insecurities so and a lot of times when I did try to work in the industry I got that energy and that's why I don't work in the industry because when I work when I just stay in my own lane and do my own thing, I only get like love.
Yeah. And like good people to work with and like good vibes.
So I was just like, yeah, that's not for me. But that's so important.
I completely agree with you because I believe in energy and I want to be surrounded. And it's funny because I just said that to him before you got here because I said, hi, how are you and he's like I'm great thank god because every day I see someone that I'm gonna work with and they're like oh you know my days and I don't want to be around people that are negative or looking at me because looking at me it's like you said some kind of threat to their work because I'm I don't want to be a threat to anybody you know I want to do my thing and and share my message and tell stories and and and meet amazing people like you and and collaborate yeah I don't want to cause any troubles I don't want no trouble no trouble exactly and we don't want anybody's man but we don't want none of y'all men like no exactly that you have no idea that you do not have the man i want right you do not speaking of men are you single now i am single now because i think when we were doing the i was in a relationship for 15 years holy shit and now that guy with that that was there i forgot chris yeah chris oh he's a great we're still friends.
And like, imagine being with somebody for 15 years.

You're basically family.

I was married for 14 years.

You're divorced now?

Yes.

Such a long story.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I was divorced.

He died.

La, la, la, la.

Oh, my God.

I started my life.

But my marriage was not happy.

It's a long other episode, other episode.

But yeah, we were best friends.

So, yeah, it's a lifetime. 15 years is a lifetime.
15 years, especially for me. I'm 32 now.
I met him while I was around 16 when we started dating. So like my entire growth.
Yeah, it was him. He was with me.
And we broke up last Christmas. Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

I am.

I'm actually great.

You look at her smile.

I'm great.

You look great.

I mean, Chris, I'm sorry if you're listening. I'm sorry.

Because you're a really nice guy.

I met you.

He seems super nice.

He is.

He's an amazing guy.

And you guys had a great work vibe.

Yeah.

Really good work.

Yeah, he helped me a lot.

I felt like, and he could speak for himself but like I don't I feel like in the relationship it was like him it's just not being secure with our relationship or like I felt like as I grew into the woman I was becoming it was like like we were just growing apart yeah well I mean I can understand that because you started the relationship, like you said, you were a teenager. Then you are with one person as you're growing up.
Yeah. And then you become an adult, you're with the same person.
Probably a lot of things change in your head. And maybe you need a little breathing room to figure out exactly what you want.
Yeah. And maybe if you guys are meant for each other, you never know the future.
You never know. But are you dating and mingling? You want to take the fifth of this one? I think she doesn't want to say it, but I think you are.
Because I know I'm going to get messages from guys like, I want to meet this this chick. Yeah, I'm open to dating.
Right now, I'm just really, like, focusing on myself and, like, working and stuff. So I'm not, like, focused on dating.
Yeah, I hear it. But I am open.
I just don't want to go looking for somebody. And so, like, I learned a lot.
Like, I just learned a lot as an adult woman. And, like, when I was younger, how I even got with my boyfriend, I, like, hunted him down.
And I'm learning that you're not supposed to do that. Like, you know, like, you're supposed to let the man.
You hunted him down when you were 15. I was so—he was older.
He was a little older than me. He reminded me of Huey P.
Newton. He was running, like, this nonprofit organization, Activacy and stuff, and, like, doing protests.
And I was like, he will be my boyfriend, whether he likes it or not. You're a powerful boyfriend.
I was like, I literally like stalked him down. Guys, watch out because she gets what she wants.
And I kind of like forced it. Like, so I don't, I'll never do that again.
Like, you know what I mean? Like this time, I'm not like looking. I don't know what I mean.
It worked years yeah you look at someone like you're gonna be mine I don't care if you want to I don't care what you think but yeah um I'm manifesting this so that's pretty much how that relationship was so with this one um I'm trying like with my next relationship I'm trying not to do that like I'm just you know trying to just live in my best version of myself yeah we're on the same page because I want to be in a relationship but I can't I'm really taking my time with this one you know what I think too like I I think that like I think that I want to date either maybe older men.

It's like I'm just learning a lot.

Not too much older, right?

No, I'm thinking too much older.

Well, I don't know.

I don't recommend that.

You don't recommend?

Why?

Well, during my marriage, my husband was much older.

Much older.

And now kind of looking back, I think at some point, because you need to have the same energy levels you know the same lifestyle the same goals a lot of so if you go like let's say I'm saying much older my husband was 20 years older than me yeah that's what I was thinking 20 30 years older like I need a man man a grown man I'm mad I need a grown man I know but a man usually in their 50s and 60s

they might be in a different

wavelength

like

oh I want to pick the fruits

of my work

and I want to travel the world

and I want to kick back

and if you are like

full power

like career

like

listen

I'm going to be on a set

for 12 hours

for 14 hours

I want to do my thing

you know

it might clash

so what do you think about

dating like younger

what if I go younger

so

like 22

Thank you. 14 hours.
I want to do my thing. You know, it might clash.
So what do you think about dating, like, younger? What if I go younger? So. Like, 22, 23.
I'm super open-minded to everything. I think, like, whatever makes you happy, life is short.
For me, I don't like younger guys. And it's funny because they hit on me all the time.
Really? It's hilarious. Have you tried? Like, I don't know.
They just text me on Instagram and shit.

You haven't tried to date a younger guy? I have. And I just feel like I have nothing to say to you.
You haven't been through the things I have been through in life. I don't think you're mature enough because I think guys take way longer than we do to mature.
Even sex. Like, a lot of girls say, oh, but the sex is going to be great because they have more energy.
But it's not the right energy because I don't think they know how to do exactly what I want them to do.

But have you tried it?

Yes, I have.

And I did not have good experiences.

It might have been just that guy.

So, yeah, it might.

So, again, I am open-minded.

It might have just been, you might have had the wrong young guy. Yes, I'm open-minded because you never know, right? You could meet a younger guy that is crazy mature.
Yeah. I don't know.
I think it's all like, let's analyze case by case. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you got to keep, I think the most important thing, honestly, and I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm just saying what I learned from doing the podcast. The most important thing that people forget, right?

They say, oh, I'm in love.

Oh, like I have this chemistry.

You need to have compatible lifestyles.

For sure.

Because listen, this is what blows up marriages.

Like even a silly example, but it's in the media right now all the time, every day.

J-Lo and Ben.

Why is it blowing up?

Because they have like day and night lifestyles. Like you can love each other like crazy and you can have sex like bunnies.
But week after week after week after week, if one person wants to live in L.A. right and work like a workaholic maniac like you and I are or like jailers, just super career oriented.
And another person wants to retire and chill and like, you know, live in the mountains.

And it's not going to work. One of the two is going to be unhappy.
For sure. So I don't think it's so much the age because people really focus on that.
Right. I think you need to like when you meet somebody, ask them that question, like, what do you want to do? Yeah.
How much do you work? Like, what is your lifestyle?

You know, do they accept your lifestyle?

Like, if you're on a set for 14 hours, is he going to be like this nice, supportive partner that's going to be there for you?

Yeah.

No, yeah, I totally agree.

I think that needs to be the, you know, the key.

But who the hell am I?

Listen, I'm still saying that.

I don't know shit

about dating i keep making mistakes so what's next for you so this movie coming up yeah i have a horror film um that is called rush and i'll be film it's about a sorority um that that um basically their sorority houses on this native land and there's a killer in the sorority and it awakens the spirits from the native land and the spirits, well, I won't tell the whole movie. Yeah, don't tell the whole movie.
Who wrote the movie, did you write it? So my dad, Chris, my ex, and Kiambra. So I had three writers.
It started with my dad writing and then Chris came on and then Kiambra I love that so it's like a family affair yeah all my work is like that it's so and even like people that work so I'm launching my production company at Bainey Productions this year and pretty much everyone who works for my company is like family like I'm super and people tell me all the time like Bainey don't do that don't do that I don't they say not to mix family and business and like not to treat your people that work for you don't treat them like too much like family or I don't know people have been telling me that my whole career it depends what kind of relationship you have with your family right if you have an amazing relationship with your family which obviously you do then you're never going to trust anybody more than you trust your family. Yeah.
And it's like when I think of my legacy and like, like, honestly, like I'm really not like a super hard worker. Again, this is just my passion.
It happened to make money. I happen to be successful.
I would much rather have a man that's a provider that like I could just kind of like I could just do my little movies. I do not believe you.
No, I'm so serious. I think even if you have a man that is like providing for you whatever, you're still going to be like, I want to make this movie.
Oh, yeah. But it won't be for the income.
It'll just be for the passion of me telling the story. But isn't it rewarding? Like if one of your movies gets picked up or people find out about it or it makes money.
Don't you feel like it's something you deserve? No, yeah, it is. It's nice, but it's nicer to me.
Like I fall in love with the process more than the outcome. Yeah.
So like for me, like just making it and experiencing people and meeting people and like learning from them and like us working together and like knowing that I gave people jobs, like other people jobs, and I impacted somebody. And like, to me, that's more rewarding than just like how much money I made from the project or an award.
Like it just doesn't. Oh, yeah.
No, you have to be like that. And I think that's a big mistake that a lot of people that move to Hollywood make, right? They come here and they think, I'm going to be rich and I'm going to be famous.
Yeah. And I think these are the two biggest mistakes in terms of goals because you're skipping everything that is important.
You're skipping all the fun parts. Exactly.
The fun part and the parts that should, the most important parts. Like if you miss all of that, you're not going to be rich and you're not going to be famous.
And I think your audience is going to notice. Even some actors, because I have many friends that are directors, many friends that are casting directors.
And they say that we notice when the actor is here for the wrong reasons. It shines through that they're just doing that like a robot or something.
it's not their it's not genuine yeah do you notice that like when you work with an actor when somebody's on set do you notice like okay this person really loves what they do and this person is just here like whatever for a few bucks well the person that's just here for a few bucks won't even make it to set so it's like they don't they they don't even make it you know this before like who yeah like so i don't and not just actors but anybody like i nip stuff in the butt really quick like if it's not the right energy i'd be like if it's not gonna work i love that so it's like i don't even get that far like when you show every if you notice like everybody who showed up on set were like super good energy so like like I like I like forming teams and like bringing the right people together.

So everything runs smoothly.

Like I don't got time for the people who have the wrong intentions or.

Yeah, I love that because I am the same.

And I did notice that.

And I've been on many, many, many sets.

And this was by far one of my and I wrote that on my Instagram. And I mean that with all my heart.
That makes me so happy. No, and I'm saying that, no joke with all my heart.
It was one of, for an actor, it was a gift. I mean, I should have paid you.
Oh, no. Because it was such a rich experience for me as a human because I know it's something that and and I mean your your brother should be so proud because it's something that very sad that happens on the streets of the United States all the time people getting murdered people getting killed by mistake you know police brutality especially in poor neighborhoods I think it's something that we should definitely talk more about and put out there and it was just as much as my scene was just a few scenes but very powerful scenes so it was a role much meatier than many indie movies that I've done and it made me grow so much as a person and it made me reflect and it just refueled my fire as an actor and I'm like you.
I take jobs that many times I don't get paid or I get paid. Like, obviously, it doesn't even pay my bills.
But I do it for the passion that I have for telling stories. And working with you was like an honor and a gift.
And I hope we do it many more times. See, that to me is like, that's priceless.
It's like no award can, like, what's the award when I can hear that from you? Like, you know what I mean? It's like, what? No, I feel the same way. Especially if I had a provider man, it's like, okay, my bills are paid already.
So as long as I'm getting these type of feedback, that's what really drives me, like, honestly. And I understand where you're coming from, because I'm the same.
The only reason why we take the money is because we have bills we have bills like honestly if I didn't have any bills I wouldn't I really wouldn't even care like I would give stuff out for free like I would you know yeah I would do I would do the podcast for free well which I do for 90% free but I would act every day yeah like I would go to sets every single day just for the passion of telling stories. Yeah.
And I think we need more women, you know, that hopefully get inspired by what you do that say, you know what? I can do it too. Yeah.
Because we don't have enough. Yeah.
I know from a horror film, I have a female AD, a female line producer, female production coordinator. Like I have my team is heavy females on this horror film and I'm so happy about it.
I love that. I am in line for any project.
You need me. I am there.
I'll send you some sides so you could do a reading. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate having you here.

You are incredible.

Congratulations on all your success. I know, and I think that's extraordinary from you because it's so rare in this industry.
But you have a big heart. You don't care about awards.
You don't care about big money. But you know what? I see all these things in your future, and I'm not a psychic.
But I see these things in your future because I want to see a woman like you, and I'm a good manifester too, like you manifested your guy. I literally picture you on a stage saying, you know what? I don't give a fuck about this award, but I'm here collecting it because this is for all the women there that, you know, Maybe they're sitting at home because there are so many little girls you know I get messages from all over the world and maybe you get messages that say oh my god you know this is impossible oh my god I'm never gonna get it you can for sure you can especially minorities like us because you know I'm a minority as I'm a Latin actor that people don't even I tell people that I'm an American they're like what do you mean yeah yeah what you've been here your whole life no you haven't you're lying you have this accent so I have the same problem and I get stereotyped and I get all this this shit and that I don't even care about because I know I'm very unusual because of how I look but But I always like telling my story because if there is younger girls out there that feel it's possible for them to do what we do, that's what drives me.
For sure. And you are incredible.
And it's an honor to have you here on Cat on the Loose. I'm so happy that I came.
I'm very happy you came. And congratulations on everything you do.
You are amazing. And let's say one more time.
Tell me your Instagram because we haven't said that. All right.
My Instagram is Abeni Nazir. A-B-E-N-I-N-A-Z-E-R.
So, guys, follow her because she's insane. And your videos are fun because you're gorgeous.
You do all kinds of fun stuff around town. You share a lot about your work, behind the scenes, about your life.
The music video that we were talking about that I was in, watch it. You guys are going to love it because your brother is a fantastic artist.
I really hope he reaches the sky as well because he deserves it. His name is I Am Results.
And the music video, the song is called Deep. And it's on my YouTube channel, Cat on the Loose podcast.
It's on my Instagram, Cat Zamoto. It's on my podcast, Real Cat on the Loose.
It's all over the place, but I'm going to put all the links on this episode so you guys can see what we're talking about and you can see her beautiful face. Thank you.
Thank you very much. And I think the message for this episode is go after your dreams, right?

Go after it to the fullest.

Don't let nobody stop you or hold you back.

Go for it.

You're amazing.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

This is very special to me.

And I'll see you guys very soon.

Be safe out there.

Okay.

Hey, Jamie McDonald here.

This is my brand new song.