"Elite Mara" (w/ Matt, Bowen & Friends)

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Shop now for family favorites. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
Inspired by a true story this series follows Molly who after a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
Hey readers, it is so thrilling to tell you about a new podcast from the iconic, the incomparable Michelle Obama and her big brother Craig called IMO. You know, on Lost Culture Recess, we dive deep into the culture and get real with our guests.
Likewise, on IMO, Michelle, Craig, and their guests tackle questions from listeners just like you, offering practical advice, personal storytelling, and plenty of laughs. From dating and relationships to family and faith, Michelle and Craig give their candid perspectives to the everyday questions shaping our lives and the world around us.
Like their first episode where Issa Rae laments friendships that need to go. You'll hear Michelle and Craig's stories about being there for each other throughout their lives, from first crushes and fraught college years to landing at the White House to losing their mom.
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Look, man. Oh, I see.
Wow. Bowen, look over there.
Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, yeah.
Las Culturistas. Ding dong.
Las Culturistas calling. And I guess the very first thing we want to do is...
Cheers, sister. Cheers, sister.
Crack open a Heineken with us. We thought our Amsterdam era was over.
And we want to say happy birthday, Jared. Happy birthday, Jared Frieder.
He's here. House is in the background as well.
House is in the background. Our friend Charlton is upstairs doing God knows what.
Doing God knows what. Let me take a sip of this.
Jared, is there anything you want to say to inspire everyone? Maybe someone else that has a birthday today. To all you readers out there with a birthday today, happy birthday and I hope you have a really good one.
Wow. That's a beautiful message to send.
He's really become a fan favorite. He really has.
I think his commentary on Camila Cabello and the rise of Brat was really, really scholarly. And it's third host vibes to me.
I have to say, I always revered him for his commentary on Camila Cabello first and foremost. Anyway, I thought, like, sweet, fun, great commentary and discourse on Camila Cabello.
I would say the same about you. Yes, Jared? And the last thing that I'll say is, don't you readers think that they should have Charlie back on as a retrospective to talk about how the Brat era actually turned out? Isn't that something we all want to hear? Busy, I think.
Well, yeah, she's busy. Okay, we have a whole peanut gallery today.
And guess what? This actually is a very special episode of Lost Coach. Why? Because we're on vacation and it needs to be a little shorter.
And also because we're doing the Olympics of I Don't Think So, Honey. Yes.
Yes. There will be five I Don't Think So, Honeys.
Everyone has one. They're going to happen a little bit later.
But for now, just get ready. We're going to hear five different I Don't Think So, Honeys.
Only oh wow isn't it funny like fantastic five what do they call them the elite five i don't know i don't couldn't tell you right well today was women's team which we watched and we're gonna get it which we watched but i think it was primarily the three girls even though there was like fox fox five so what is that that's rinna oh my god is that? That's Rinna. Kyle.
Oh my god. That's right.
That's right. Fox Force 5.
Oh my god. We were talking about supergroups like Iconic 5s.
Of course there's the Spice Girls, Fox Force 5. I'm telling you they do call it Fabulous 5.
What do they call the gymnasts that are the 5? Let's look it up. This is a famous thing.
You would know.

Women's gymnastics.

That thing when you know but you don't. Fabulous five.
Oh, I'm not connected to

Wi-Fi. No, what the hell?

Fierce five?

Fierce funny females?

Gymnastics.

Well, no, that was 2012.

That was 12 years ago,

sweetie. Five.
Gymnastics five. This is bad, you guys.
This is bad. There were only so many F words.
You know what I mean? And the best one is already fuck. That's so true.
Especially rule of culture number eight. There are only so many F words.
And the best one is already fuck. Already fuck.
Well, let's say they're the fuck five. Let's say they're the fuck five and the fuck five just absolutely tore it up, especially on the floor.
Oh yeah. Let's talk about.
Who do you want to talk about? Suni? You want to talk about this? Suni was incredible. Suni was incredible.
I think Suni really, you know, cause you know, our girl Jordan. Yeah.
Jordan Childs. Jordan Childs was fab, did have a bit of a moment during the beam where she fell.
And there's a thing where, you know, if one falls, then that tends to make it so that other people on the team fall as well. It creates what we call bad energy.
Bad energy. Suni really turned it around and she had a perfect such a graceful beam.
Graceful beam. By far the way, the like scariest event to watch.
I can't believe. Are you more scared and nervous watching the vault or The Beam? I'm more, it's all pretty scary.
But I think the scariest to me is uneven bars. You feel the most fear watching them do that? It's, the lower one is so low.
Yeah, you're right. And they got to really like fucking tuck in.
You know who has a critical eye is that Lori Hernandez. Yes.
Because she was, remember when Suni did her bars? Yes. And her feet grazed the floor and Lori was like, her feet touched the ground.
This will be a deduction. Lori's eye.
Her eye. Her eye.
Wait, it's actually real culture number 12. Lori.
Her eye. She was giving kind of the really good, the most chemistry.
Right, girls? Lori. We have other thoughts, but we'll save that.
Oh. I think there might be an I don't think so honey Lori

Lori

you know what just to preempt

this like Lori don't come for

Lori because Lori

what Lori was doing was she was so endearingly

like squealing while these like men around

her were like what's going on

they were all like well now we're gonna see another

gymnast meanwhile Lori's like

ah I'm so happy for like

by the way you watch the opening ceremony Thank you. were like, what's going on? Yeah, and they were all like, well, now we're going to see another gymnast.

Meanwhile, Lori's like,

ah, I'm so happy for like.

Yeah, she was giving,

by the way, you watch the opening ceremony.

Oh my God.

Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson commentary.

The woman that you are.

Just every now and then like,

oh my God, that's so cool.

Wow, I love that.

I love there's so many different kinds of music.

I love this.

This is so cool.

To be a person who's a cheerleader

on your commentary.

Yes.

Well, I'm sorry,

but sometimes all of the types and the personas converge into one or two people, such as Matt Rogers and myself. And yet we weren't invited.
I know. Like, we have the expertise and the spirit and the enthusiasm.
There was no moment during that opening ceremony where I thought, yeah, the people doing this are way better than us at this. No way.
If you listen to Two Guys Five Rings, you know that no one knows sports better. No one enjoys talking about the events and the specificity of the athleticism more than us.
I am really getting into the Olympics this year. Well, that's probably good and maybe I should heed that.
Girl, and this is not sponsored. We were not paid to say this.
Peacock is really fucking nailing it. They are.
Multi-view on Peacock. You get to watch four screens and you get to like, one's on a commercial break, you go to the other one.
It's such great viewing experience. I got my life watching basketball, Greece versus Canada.
Oh. Slay.
All I've done so far is the gymnastics and the opening ceremony. It's fun.
It's fun. Women's beach volleyball.
Oh, yeah. So fucking cunty.
Because they're in a sand pit in front of the Eiffel Tower. Yeah.
It's like, come on. It's pretty amazing.
It's pretty amazing. The visuals have been top notch.
Stunning. Can we just get into the opening ceremony for a second? And listen, we will talk mostly about this on our other podcasts as well, but this is truly the culture of the moment.
I don't think we can ignore what happened, which was that we on our podcast, Two Guys, Five Rings, literally predicted Lady Gaga's performance. You did.
Did I? Because I didn't remember doing that. I think it was you.
I think you were the one who brought up Gaga and said, I mean, because the rumor was about, the Celine rumor was persistent for a couple weeks. But I think the Gaga thing was, I think you introduced it.
I think I thought of like the silliest thing I could think of and just said it out loud as I'm often going to do. And I guess it wasn't so silly, huh? What was that song she sang? La Bouton, Fon, Fon, Fon? La Vianne Rose.
No, it wasn't. No, bitch.
Shut up, bitch. I thought it was a service board.
That's why we clocked that she might do it. I thought it would have been kind of thrilling to watch her do La Vie en Rose.

French culture is the tops.

Chaos and the top.

His pronunciation.

What about these?

Oh, these Christians better leave us alone.

Wait, what's happening with the Christians? The drag.

About Nikki doll looking cunty.

It's Dionysus.

Grow up, read the Bacchanali

and let's get serious.

And throw a Bacchanal while you're at it.

Well, let me tell you.

Come here. I'll tell you where we all are.

By the way, we forgot to say this uptown, but we are

in Provincetown.

We're gonna see you there.

Wow, thank you for

really, anytime you add a harmony

it actually elevates the piece. It's rule and culture number 30.
Anytime you add a harmony It actually elevates the piece It's rule and culture number 30 Anytime you add a harmony It actually elevates the piece So thank you sister for doing that That was of course a callback To my famous jingle for Provincetown Of course Patrick, Charlton Any other thoughts on Gaga? Yeah Gaga thoughts? Well it's just always great to see her She looks fabulous Yes And I'm so excited for Folli de Du Foll Didu. I think Folly Didu has been getting some new trailers.
Yes. I'm hearing that it's a supporting performance.
She's changed the way she sings. Yes.
Right. She's acting.
So basically everyone, the news is, the hot new news from Gaga, and we always love when Gaga hits the press when she's got an acting project coming out, is do not expect Lee, which is her character Harley Quinn. She's calling her Lee.
Call me Lee. Do not expect Lee to have a good voice like Lady Gaga.
Lady Gaga has come out and said I'm known as Lady Gaga, right? And her use of the word right, everyone knows me as Lady Gaga, right? It's my stage name. It's her Christina Ag aguilera haha yeah it is right by the way you know what kamala does which i've noticed listen listen she goes listen comma la la and that is how you say it republicans um but anyway um yeah so lady gaga says don't expect to hear a trained singer because lee is not that so how would she know how to

breathe correctly right which is a question i can't answer i don't know i don't know about lee's singing training oh yes and i'm excited to learn i want to find out so bad i want to find out yeah what do you mean in terms of the of the why would lee know how to sing it's like just It's kind of that thing of like, oh, well, Sally Bowles is supposed to be bad.

It's like, just sing. It's kind of that thing of like, oh, well, Sally Bowles is supposed to be bad.
It's like, no, that's how you justify casting someone who can't really sing because they're a star. By the way, I just saw Cabaret last night.
Oh, how did it go? It was Marty, as you might know, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Yes, yes, yes.
He's going up Mondays. Yeah.
Fantastic. I am so excited.
In fact, I was DMing with Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Oh my God.
And they gave me the dates for that they're doing because I would rather, I mean, this is not shade. I just, I want to see them do it.
No, we love Eddie, but Marsha, Marty as MC is wowie zowie. I can't wait to see it.
I saw it in the West End with Jake Shears. It was good.
Oh, Jake. I mean, these are some of our great queers.
These are some of our great gays. Our great gays.
Musically talented great gays. And Gail Rankin.
Oh, yeah. Wowie Zowie.
Yeah. Is Wowie Zowie something that's coming, that's sort of rising in the ranks? I don't care what y'all have to say.
I'm Gail Rankin stanning. Okay.
Bit about you and I'm still about you. No higher compliment.
Gail Rankin. Is there a little Frank Gillespie coded? I was watching her going, there's something Frank Gillespie about this.
Frank Gillespie, New York comedy legend. This is a high praise.
High praise. One of my favorite people.
And if you don't know, now you know. Now you know.
I'm so happy you saw it and enjoyed it. Did they do they do this sort of, in the West End with the cabaret, what they did was, it was at the literal Kit Kat Club.

It was at the Kit Kat Club, yes.

And so it was like very, it was like immersive.

It was immersive.

There was three levels.

You go downstairs.

They put a sticker refund.

It felt very burg.

I was like, oh, it feels like we're in Berlin.

Oh, wait.

Yeah, that's the point.

Right.

Sort of the whole vibe.

The whole vibe.

And it was lovely.

So great.

B.B. Neuwirth.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I forgot that B.B. was B.b bb bb was the um was the schneider yeah frulein schneider schneider schneider so good oh my god bb new earth cheers legend it's a great role it's you're right songs it's such a shame it's not in the film because to To me, that's's like the emotional.
Yes, I agree. The film is so different.
The film is so different. I remember I saw the film in college and I was like, oh, cool.
And then I saw the musical years later. Sudi and I went to see the Alan Cumming, Michelle Williams one.
And the stage version is just so much more explicit about how dark it is and really about how it is, quite frankly,

about the rise of the Nazis.

Okay.

And it has to be said.

The Weimar.

Oh,

the Weimar.

But yeah,

no,

the film,

the,

the film isn't as like dark.

Yeah.

That performance.

Oh my God.

Alan.

What's eight times one.

What's what? What's eight times one what's what what's eight times one hold on eight good now we got off track okay so gaga now fully adieu you know what there's gonna be so much fully adieu to come let's give respect to the real moment of the opening ceremonies you're talking about that challengers coded moment where there's three people kind of where the library and then went to go fuck in the

room? No, I know that's not what you're talking about.

I mean, I imagine I was.

Why are people more upset about that? Not that there's

anything to be upset about, but it's like, okay, well then you have

to like study the whole text and be

like, well, there's two guys trying

to fuck. Like, it's like, grow up.

Oh, Bowen, the royal they. The royal

they is going to be upset about something. I want

them to scan. Can you just at

least scan before you come? Scan before you come. In the words of Kamala, in a time when we didn't like her, do not come.
Do not come. Do not come.
Well, let's not bring that up. You're right.
Oh my God. Am I derailing everything? Sorry, Kamala.
Now we got to talk about the border. By the way, Provincetown is so...
The voters here, it's a slam dunk for Kamala. Provincetown, Massachusetts is breaking hard for Kamala Harris.
She was just here. No, trust me when I say this, this town's going blue.
It's actually roller coaster number 98. Trust me when I say this, Provincetown is going blue.
I mean... The merch, they popped out Florida ceiling, watercolor portraits of Kamala in this one.
Sure. The like lesbian store we went to.
Bowen, we are definitely strolling down the streets to that store. And you have to see all this stuff.
We bought Jared a Kamala shirt for his birthday. Well, the gays love her.
She rushed to the courthouse to marry these folks in California.

She's been there.

Her campaign manager was Harvey Milk.

Yeah, I think her...

It's crazy.

I know.

I know about this.

One of her first campaign managers...

Was Harvey Milk.

Was Harvey Milk.

And that man actually passed away of AIDS.

Yeah.

But, yeah, no.

And she's from San Francisco.

I mean, like, or worked in San Francisco.

Like, she's connected.

She's gay.

She's gay.

Her laugh is gay.

Can I say, stop teasing Kamala because of the laugh.

I like when someone laughs.

I'm sorry. San Francisco.
I mean, like, or worked in San Francisco. Like, she's connected.
She's gay. She's gay.
Her laugh is gay. Can I say, stop teasing

Kamala because of the laugh. I like when someone laughs.

The laugh is iconic. The laugh is iconic.

Oh my god, the laugh is so

fun. Anyway, I was

going to bring up Celine Dion.

Of course you were. Let's talk

about Celine. How did you feel? What was

going through your mind? Well, I was on a

plane back from my life, so I was... My leg has never been more restless.
I was like, I need to see. Were you not getting live TV on the plane? Another I don't think so, honey, Delta.
First of all, still waiting on my 360 membership, my invite. I shouldn't be so entitled.
Well, do you feel entitled because you have the miles to... No.
Well, because the miles are 5 million, which is crazy. You automatically get an invitation if you get hit 5 million miles.
Oh, that's crazy. I wonder why I was invited.
Because you slay. 360.
When you're in the mirror, do you look at you see? Now, Delta did not... This is one thing that'll give JetBlue.
They've got TV they've got live TV and for a moment like this for Celine Dion's return to singing I would have loved that but alas a lack but first thing I did when I got off the plane when I deplaned was pull up that yeah that video and my watching that watching that I I've never been more emotional the last time I was just emotional. The last time I was just emotional was her videos announcing that she had SPS.
I mean, honestly, it was one of those things where I think in our group chat, Louis Fertel was like, it felt like the Lou Gehrig, I'm the luckiest man in the face of the earth moment. But with that element of performance that obviously that moment couldn't have.
On the Eiffel Tower it just truly stunning especially when you look at those photos that they're digging up now of her like being photographed as a young girl in front of the Eiffel Tower her dream having always been to sing there you know her saying recently in that documentary that her life's work is singing it is her purpose and she's when she said I will sing again and just to see, I was streaming it live. I woke up at like 10 in the morning.
It was a long opening ceremony. She was long.
I was going to say, I don't know about this. I'm not sure about the canal situation.
I like a stadium. Sue me.
Sue me. I like a stadium.
They're probably getting cold. Yes! It's torrential, right? Yeah.
It was not ideal. Also, the locals fucking hated it because they couldn't get to the other side.
I have so many concerns about how they're going to logistic... I don't know how it is logistically feasible to have the Olympics in 2028 in Los Angeles, California.
Y'all better fucking scurry. Oh, there's no way I'm around because it's like a Tuesday at one and it's not tenable on the one on one.
Sometimes I'm like, what the fuck is going on? How the hell are we going to invite the world here? How? Don't know. It doesn't make any sense.
But yeah, so apparently France was pissed off. But again, back to Celine, just watching her not even just just get through it, which I was, I was worried that about her getting through it.

I was also nervous that they had announced it prior because I'm like, think about the stress that must be put on that.

I mean, if you performing anywhere in public for her right now would be difficult, let alone the most public performance probably in the world.

In her career, probably.

Maybe.

But not only that, she was amazing. Sounded like Celine.
Sounded like Celine. Gestured like Celine.
Oh, yeah. I just felt so familiar.
Did you watch the documentary? Well, you told me, you were the first person to tell me how rough and sad it was. And I was like, I can't handle it.
One of the hardest experiences. I'm near that.
Because, you know, Celine, like in the culture, that's like mom, like sweet. Yeah.
They love it. No one wants to watch her go through.
Yeah. International icon in pain.
Growing up in Quebec, it's like she is God. Like I, that's why like her watching the video of her announcing SPS, I was just like, I'm not, I'm not a crier.
I burst into tears. I was like, no, no, I can't handle this.
Yeah. If I can't run, I'll walk.
If I can't walk, I'll crawl. I mean, come on, the drama.
And also, you know, just like how strong she's had to be, like with the, you know, loss of her husband, et cetera, just, you know, the amount of pressure that it takes to be that kind of person for as long as she's been that kind of person. Like, she's a full-blown international icon in industry.
Maybe one of the last ones where it's, like, actually possible to be that famous and that respected and that beloved in that way. Like, just...
So that was fucking triumphant. Triumphant is...
Triumphant doesn't words of Mandy Moore, Mandy Moore, a fake Mandy Moore. Yeah.
Of, of, yeah. Of, of the Mandy Moore imposter of the perfect blue Mandy Moore.
Just like when, when there was that break in the music and she was like swelling with pride and like hope. And like, I don't know if it was joy or what, whatever she was experiencing was so.
That's what the Olympics are all about. Say that.
It is the human spirit coming to a groundswell. Yeah.
It gathering in one place, the best of the world, everyone celebrating each other's ability. I'm sorry.
I love the Olympics. I always have.
You are amazing. You are amazing.
You are so amazing. You are incredible.
The way that you speak is so beautiful. You are amazing.
Queen, I learned from the best and they're right here in front of me. I'm inspired by y'all every day.
Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare.
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Shop now for family favorites. Listen, Beau, I feel like I turn around and everything's way more expensive than it used to be.
The economy, am I right? And that's on turning around and everything getting more expensive. But there's a better way.
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That's Chime.com slash Culturistas. Chime feels like progress.
by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires.
She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is Dying for Sex.
All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. Now, what else is going on in the words of Cynthia Bailey? Our favorite Celine song? Is it Imperfections? Oh, Imperfections.
Oh, my God. If you know anything, you know that Celine Dion's top song on streaming, I think, is, of course, Imperfections off the last album, Courage.
It's one of the... I got my own imperfections! It's so funny, it's actually nominated for Record of the Year next year at the Culture Awards.
No, it's too early to announce. This is just a rumor.
This is just a rumor. No, no, I actually know but this is, this is making up for the huge snub that it was never sung in Titanic.
I'm just saying like it's been snubbed. I'm literally getting breaking news.
Like I'm being told by the voters that it's already nominated for record of the year next year at the last Puerto Rican's Culture Awards. The voters are texting you? Oh, you know, it's too long a story to get into.
Imperfection's going to open the show. That's not an opener, I would say.
Maybe that's one with Josh and Aaron. We'll talk.
That's really good. I'm partial to, and this is in Titanic, thank God.
Thank God. They got this right.
But it's underrated is taking chances. Oh, don't even talk to me about taking chances.
Don't know much about your life. Don't know much about your world.
But... Yes! A really good Glee cover.
Leah Michelle. Say that.
Leah Michelle. Also, can we talk about another great Glee cover? Is Leah Michelle doing Rihanna episode...
Oh, Take a Bow? Take a Bow. Oh my God.
No, no. First of all, don't talk to me about Lea Michele's talent.
Don't. Lea Michele, that's a talented young girl.
Attachio Real Coach number 40. Lea Michele, that's a talented young girl.
I understand people have their thoughts and their feelings. If we're going to talk about Glee covers, remember the- And we are, I guess.
And that first mashup episode where the girls did Walking on Sunshine into Halo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I love that. And what did they drink, like a cold brew or something? What did they have? Yeah, yeah.
The bit of the episode, what was it? They drank like a juice that made them crazy? That is Ryan Murphy coded as fuck. That's how they broke that episode of comedic television.
The girls drink energy drinks sing a halo this comedic breaks i miss it episodic tv people are comparing kamala to leave a show right now oh really girl they're saying it's like oh my god biden was beanie are you serious is this what gay twitter's talking about right now but beanie's be rating was actually 26% nationally. Beanie was not going to win Michigan.
Michelle came on this bitch mad as hell. Oh my God.
Yeah, she came in and she saved the country with that. You know, Bowen and I were there the second night.
The second night. We went to go see Funny Girl.
No, it was- For Leah's second night of Funny Girl. I actually, I bought a ticket to my mother like and my aunt obsessed with funny girl growing up and i bought a ticket to see beanie and beanie had called out which i guess she she was doing quite a bit at that time because it was i think it was hard it was tough but then i was like i wish i had waited because when we saw leah michelle she fucking tore it up and i mean i'm telling you and i'm not just talking about that.
I am talking about Take a Bow. I am talking about Taking Chances.
Oh my God. Taking Chances in the pilot of Glee.
Yes. Okay.
It's in the pilot? Yes. It's when Lea Michelle walks up to the sign and she- Yes, you're right! Yes.
That's a great pilot. No, that one thing you must give, Ryan Murphy executes a pilot The only way You should which is to perfection And Jane Lynch What a star What a great turn Also in Funny Girl But Brett scurried as students Leah was coming Well now you hear what she says she wishes she had stayed in the show.
Oh. I said Tova Feldscher

would like a word. Let Tova

cook. It's actually Real Culture number

80. Tova Feldscher would

like a word. And hey, let

Tova cook. Season four of Walking

Dead, Miss Tova stepped

onto set. Oh.
Everybody

know who's mayor, okay?

Oh, everybody know who's Rachel Bloom's

mother and crazy ex-girlfriend. Tova really books.
Tova books. She should.
You forget, Tova books. She has no problem working.
No. Tova has no problem working.
That's a rule of culture. That's rule of culture number 47.
Tova has no problem working. I did not know that.
I don't watch Walking Dead. Can I say, it's the most disgusting, twisted show I've ever seen.
Are you watching Fallout? Have you seen Fallout? I'm on the second to last episode. I'm obsessed with Fallout.
It's incredible. Multiple Emmy nominations, by the way.
The girls clocked it early. I can see it in the future.
Bowen's going up to Ella Purnell and they're having a moment at the Emmys.

And I go...

Oh, she's pretty. And Slayton, yellow jacket.
She's a stunning girl. What is that? What's Belgravia? Amazon.
Girl. It was famously reviewed viciously in the Guardian.

The review begins like clickety-clackety-gibby.

It's Julian Fellow.

Julian Fellow. Amazon.
Girl. This was famously reviewed viciously in The Guardian.
The review begins like clickety-clackety-dimbing.

No, it's Julian Fellows.

Julian Fellows is typing again.

Oh, no, this was the most savage line of any review in history is the first line of this.

Clickety-clack.

Well, Julian Fellows has been typing again.

It was so savage.

I laughed for an hour.

That's Jiminy Glick level. That is Jiminy Glick.
Someone's got a writer. Oh, someone's been writing.
This is a Jiminy house. Oh, period.
We might have Jiminy night. Yeah, we might need Jiminy night.
Yeah, we love Jiminy. Martin Short, the heterosexual that you are.
Oh, yeah. He's one of our best.
It's true. If every man was like a gay, straight, whatever was like Martin Short, there would be no war.
Yeah. It would be funny ass Canadians down.

I have a feeling he's voting blue.

I have a feeling he's in the K-hive.

I think he's voting blue.

I think he's K-hive.

I think he's just, he's almost as K-hive as these Provincetown folks.

And I'm telling you, these Provincetown folks are really in the can for Kamala.

I know he has a t-shirt silk screen.

The way this merch.

It's very close lately. Oh, someone's trying to dig for some tea.
Okay. Yes, the rumor is that...
No, we can't. Well, we can't speculate and gossip on Lost Coach anymore.
My, how the times have changed. Remember when they used to say whatever the fuck they wanted? Now the press will run with anything.
Oh, speaking of which, there's someone at EW fucking who listens to... No, Bo, and don't do this.
No, no, I don't care. Who's listening to this podcast, minding every little thing I have to say about SNL.
I really fucking hate what they do over there with me. Stop it.
Stop it. I pulled out of a round table because I was like, no, you're not getting me.
Don't fucking take my words out of context when I talk about my job. You did did take them out of context.
You guys, that was, that was a mess. Guess what? EW, like there's pickup there.
Like people fucking like turn out all this and then fucking, and the next thing you know, Ben Shapiro is sharing my quotes on his Facebook. And now all these fucking MAGA fucking assholes are like commenting on my shit.
I'm like, and I'm sorry. Ia i i really don't like i don't like this cheeto i don't like that that cheeto that cheeto in office what what rule of culture was that seven rule of culture number seven i hate that maga and i don't like that cheeto i don't want him back in office at all and you know what quote me ew okay i said it with my chest.
I don't like that Cheeto. I don't want him back in office at all.
And you know what? Quote me, EW, okay? I said it with my chest. I don't like that Cheeto at all.
Like Taylor says, do not come for my job. Speaking of conservative like voices, did you notice that Megyn Kelly went back to her Fox News hair? I feel, I have not been keeping up.
Okay, so have you been tracking the hair? First of all, I'm now remembering. I'm the only one keeping up.
I remember one of house and I's big arguments is whether the movie bombshell is good because he's, he's never saw it, but you never saw you love Nicole so much. Nicole went through hell for that film.
She's wearing a 20 pound wig. Yeah.
She's on a bike the entire film. Uh-huh.
They have her on a bike. And they're all having to deal with- Nicole went through hell for that film.
And they're all prosthesis. I mean, those- And it was basically like the Madonna boot camp.
It was Madonna boot camp. And the only thing I will say is, you know, like whatever,

whatever.

But they ate.

The girls ate.

Okay.

Don't take that away from me.

Margot was good.

I'm neutral.

Margot was great.

You know what?

I think Bombshell is,

it's an interesting watch.

I didn't think it was a bad movie.

I thought it was like surprising

that it got Oscar traction.

It was an uphill battle

to make a movie about that place.

Is that Jay Roach?

I don't remember. James Cameron.
I have no idea. It was an uphill battle to make a movie about that place.
Is that Jay Roach? I don't remember.

James Cameron.

I have no idea.

It was James Cameron.

And we needed his eye on this situation.

I have the part of the seed bearer.

It's the seed bearer.

It's Jay Roach.

It is Jay Roach.

It's Jay Roach.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was all right.

But anyway, no, I've been watching.

Megyn Kelly?

I haven't been watching almost any Megyn Kelly. Because I know.
What was it that I saw? Oh, this is what I wanted to say. Cause Mayor Pete, which I'll still call him has been on Fox news a lot.
He's been all rushing it. And can I say something to the people at Fox news and you're not listening, but I just want to throw this out there.
The thing is like, every time you invite him on there, you truly play yourself because you guys look so dumb. And also, you have to understand, whoever's in HMU at Fox News is beating his face to hell.
That man's skin on Fox News is nuts. And his hair has never looked better.
He's like, he looks like, he's looking like a stud. I think he brings his own HMU.
You think that Mayor Pete has his own HMU? I think if you're in the cabinet, you got HMU. Honey, let me tell you, I think Chastin knows a few things around the makeup counter and he's taking care of his husband.
I'm just saying like when you go on a thing like the Today Show or whatever, like you usually don't bring your own grooming. I bring my own.
Okay, did I bring, did Jessica come with me? Yes, Jessica came with you to Today Show. To beat me for Rockefeller Center.
For Rockefeller Center. I remember Jessica's.
He looks good. The skin is really skinny.
I don't know what the issue is. You think he's had work done? But it's looking good.
Retinol. It's retinol.
You think he got some jawline filler. He's looking more um ready for camera and it's because those fox news girls could be bringing them on because i guess they have a they're edgelords they literally have like a fetish of being humiliated because the girl is beating them down yeah you could actually see in the this one last interview he did the woman was interviewing him like drag and drop News blonde host.
And he was like running train on her. And you can see in her eyes a little bit that she was turned on by it.
I think they do like it. That's what I'm saying.
It's like, and I think like, it must be getting through to some people because he's constantly there. I wonder if people call in and they're like, oh, that Mayor Pete, he really annoys us.

But like they love it.

It drives a viewership or something.

I don't know.

I need to know if he brings his own grooming.

I think he probably does.

Really?

I think he was on Daily Show

and I think he like had the same beat.

We cannot talk about Mayor Pete's makeup.

I mean, I think we are.

And I actually think this is the only podcast

that will talk about Mayor Pete's grooming. Okay.
And I mean, grooming as in HMU, not grooming, like our favorite activity. I think we should have that conversation.
It's so funny. I think we should have that conversation.
I think we should have that conversation. We're in Pete Town right now.
It's family week, which is a huge LOL. Groom, groom.
Bitches say you can't catch me. Groom, groom.

Grooming all these children. Now EW is coming for us on that one.
Hey, EW, we have your number. Entertainment Weekly.
Oh my God. Owen Yang admits grooming proclivities on Las Couturistas.
The SNL star and really minted three-time Emmy nominee. Or actually get it right.
Stop. Everybody has been there.
Traffic was a nightmare. You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry.
That's when dinner dread sets in. What are you gonna make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be, because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away.
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Especially me, with the lasagna, maybe some chicken enchiladas, spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner, or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please. When the clock strikes dinner, thanks Stouffer's.
Shop now for family favorites. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband and explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
You know, a good wedding is like an amazing symphony from the food food, to the music, to the fashion, honey.

To the style.

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Flourish.

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That's Z-O-L-A dot com. Anyway, you know what I'm also loving? What are you loving? I'm like getting on Reservation Dogs finally.
Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard it's good.
Oh, my God. It's the show.
It just did really well. In fact, the last season, but they just got on it.
Oh, Reservation Dogs. Sorry, I didn't give the last part.
Oh, my God. Fabulous.
Incredible. I'm one of those stupid...
I'm like, for some reason, I'm like waking up to FX on Hulu. I don't think so.
I mean, first of all, I want to tell you something. There was no bigger fan of Hulu as a teacher than me, Matt Rogers.
Thank you. Thank you, girl.
A teacher. More like a show.
That is the elite Mara. Yeah.
Elite Mara. Say it louder.
Elite Mara is the elite Mara. It might be a real culture.
Oh, my God. I'm afraid.
Although you don't think that's true. No.
I'm just like, I'm really, I'm clutching my pearls. Let's rewatch Carol and we'll get back.
Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
I can tell the house would be so silent. Why are we all like ganging up on Rooney all of a sudden? No one was ganging up.
No one was ganging up. And here's the thing.
It's not a gang up on Rooney just to give Kate Mara one single flower. And the people don't give her one single flower.
But I'm sorry. It was a gang up because Charlton was saying she's, y'all were saying she was the elite Mara.
And so that's a gang up on my girl. It's not a gang up on, it's first of all, people might listen to this podcast and be like, Bowen Yang is the elite talent.
They might. That's the, no one is saying that.
It's not a gang up on me. No one is saying that, by the way.
That's the, they're all saying that. But for us to like, totally like, like, like fucking blow past Rooney.
It's like, she gave you the social network and girl with the dragon tattoo and then she was in was in Carol. Like, she can do it all.
She was also in her, her erasure, and it happens way more than anyone knows. It's happening in small towns across America.
They're erasing the movie Her. Rooney and Her? You see, you didn't even remember that she was in it.
She plays Joaquin's ex. Oh, yeah, I know.
I remember. I saw the movie twice.
I loved her. I loved her.
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. And I think I saw that twice, too.
Carol Flung out of Space. Carol.
Hit, hit, hit. Hit, hit, hit.
That story? Her eating that piece of pie? I'm going to say two words again. A teacher.
A teacher. Babe, MacGillan.
That Jesus movie? Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Kate Mara, baby.
It's not Kate Mara. No, Kate Mara can give you everything.
First of all, two words. A teacher.
But here's another two words. Brokeback Mountain, bitch.
And people forget about the supporting women in Brokeback Mountain. They don't forget about Michelle Williams.
She gets spoken about in that movie. Anne Hathaway was just as good as Michelle Williams in that movie.
Linda Cardellini, listen to me right now. Icon.
Kills it in Brokeback Mountain. And Kate Mara in that last scene with Heath Ledger, after she leaves and she says she's getting married and he's like, I'm brought to you.
And then she leaves. That's so young.
And he goes to his closet and pulls out Jack Twist's old shirt and says, Jack Osweir. Jack Nasty.
Jack Nasty I No

We love both Maras equally in this house

I just have to

I don't think you heard of what we said

I love TV and I love movies

They're different

Period

I love cake I love pie

They're ruling different kingdoms too

Clearly

Charlton's like over there just loving cake

Three words

Cake boy

Under the bridge

Oh yeah I gotta get into that one

Thank you. Charlton's like over there just loving cake Three words Cake boy Under the bridge Oh yeah I gotta get into that one Four words The girl from Plainville I was worried there about Plainville And is that the elite fanning? Yes You're saying L is the elite fanning? Right now Well.
Right now. Well, that was the big breakout.
Elle stepped onto the scene and said, I mean, Elle fanning in The Beguiled. Yeah, period.
I do love Dakota and Elle equally. Okay, interesting.
Which is different than Kate, who I love better than Rie. First of all, they stuck Dakota on that goddamn spooky show.
What was that show Miss Dakota was on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That and then I think she was on there's this scary show with Josh Hartnett.
Remember how slayed Dakota was? Penny Dreadful. Can we talk for a second about Dakota in War of the World? We can.
She was amazing. She was incredible.
She was the child actor for our degree. She's a Screen Actors Guild nominee as an individual for I Am Sam.
No one talks about it. No one talks about it.
I think Dakota is going to be a huge nominations leader next year at Culture Awards. Oh, my God.
You know what I haven't watched yet, and I do feel badly about this, but I need to watch i need to watch it is ripley oh yeah i have to just sit down and clean it and knock it out because i heard it's spectacular oh me too me too and we love andy we love andy i'm sure he do you think he ever goes by andy andrew scott all the time every day you guys think i think i would have to call him band. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

It's like Provincetown is rubbing off on these gay guys all around us.

Ripley shot beautifully.

Have you watched it yet?

Yes.

You think it's stunning?

Totally different take because I have to say, like, for me, the talented Mr. Ripley is like a top 10.

Yeah, yeah.

And Gwyneth is so iconic. P.C.
Blanchett entering the mainstream Mr. Ripley is like a top 10.
Yeah, yeah. And Gwyneth is so iconic.
He's the planchette entering the mainstream scene. Sure.
I know you killed him. It's incredible.
And I think it's Matt Damon's best role. So like, and Jude Law.
Jude Law's perfect. Previous some human male has looked on.
Ever. But this is a totally different take.
It's very dark And Ripley is not as innocent in this. He is sure.
Machiavellian, like dark, dark. And Andrew's, of course, fabulous.
Yeah, he's a total star. But the way it's shot, it's giving Francis Ha, it's giving.
Yes, it's very Francis Ha. It's surprising for the darker things.
Yes, because Francis Ha is a very light movie. Very light film.
Let's find Greta in these touches. Greta is everywhere you look.
I have to see Frances Ha, actually. I've never seen it.
It's fun. It's great.
Yeah. I love Greta.
Adam Driver is really good in it. Mistress America.
Mistress America? Oh. I think Mistress is the superior film.
I went to see Mistress America by myself one Thanksgiving at the mine in Colorado. I was like, I guess I'm seeing this fucking gay-ass movie.
I I'm Lola Kirk. Is she the elite Kirk? Wait, no, Lola Kirk is not the elite Kirk.
I'm not, I'm not talking about this. Lola Kirk? She did what? I did karaoke with Lola Kirk at Macri Park.
Oh. Where we have also done karaoke.
Yes. She set it down.
Is it hard to shut Macri Park down? No. But she did do that.
That's something. We have to, Jared just walked back in from the gym, brag, and he have to break a tie.
Who is the elite Mara? Come say it in the- Mara sister. Mara sister.
Who is the elite Mara sister? Rooney. Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal.
He hasn't seen a teacher. Which, by the way, I'm not saying Rooney Is the elite Mara I'm saying you guys Cannot fucking Steamroll Rooney Like that By saying Kate is And just To go back to Lola Kirk real quick She has a band And is a singer And I saw her At the German Pavilion Gottshire Hall In Ridgewood And she Tore Okay Speaking of word singer, did you see Sabrina Carpenter's

fragrance ad? Cherry?

Cherry baby. Cherry baby.
She walks

over to a cherry, puts the stem in

her mouth, takes it out and it's a little heart shape and she

winks at the camera and then it says Cherry baby,

the new fragrance from Sabrina Carpenter. And I said,

if you don't smell like Cherry baby this fall,

I'm not talking to you.

We certainly aren't going on a second

date. If you haven't spritzed Cherry baby on your little Cherry Babies and your ball sack, they're not going in my mouth.
Yeah, no. Listen, here's what I'll say.
Take that, EW. This is what I'm going to pitch.
I know Sabrina is probably going to be the one doing the ads for Cherry Baby The Fragrance. Bone and I would love to help.
We would love to be involved in Cherry Baby ads. If you guys want us to come just do a quick cameo in any Cherry Baby ads, like we would love to do that.
And really, Sabrina, any way you want to collaborate with us. Not now though.
Recently, Matt and I have turned down some opportunities with some girlies. With perfume agencies.
With perfume agencies. Exactly.
Everybody has been there. Traffic was a nightmare.
You got home late and your dinner plans are out the window when you hear the inevitable tiny voice saying, I'm hungry. That's when dinner dread sets in.
What are you going to make tonight? How can such a simple question be so hard to answer? Well, it doesn't have to be because a delicious, family-pleasing meal from Stouffer's is only a ding away. So, if your dinner plans are derailed, don't worry.
Just turn to a delicious solution from Stouffer's, a meal that will always leave everyone happy, especially you. Especially me, with the lasagna, maybe some chicken enchiladas, spaghetti with meat sauce is always a winner, or how about some cheesy chicken and broccoli pasta bake? Yes, please.
of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
Okay, so I don't know if you've been outside lately, but I gotta tell you, spring is springing and it's giving me that travel itch like it always do. I got big plans this spring and summer.
Bone and I are doing some stuff together. We actually just got back from Europe.
We did London and Berlin. And here's the thing about traveling.
You need some stuff to put your items in. And that, baby, is where I give you quince.
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Actually, you know what? I'm thinking about changing it up this summer. I might do, instead of a rolling suitcase, I might do a duffel.
Can you see me with a duffel?

Let me know.

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Well, listen, we've had a spirited conversation about so many things in culture, and now it's time for the I Don't Think So Honey Olympics. Yes.
This is going to be just like the regular segment, except we have three incredible people here who are going to all give their thoughts in the form of an I Don't Think So Honey, which is our one one minute segment where we ran to get something in culture that we just don't like so much but first but first what no but first we'll do it we'll go right I love but first coffee first coffee bring it back bring it back I think it's so funny do you think Provincetown's going blue for the in the election let me think about it yes yeah okay we have to take you to that lesbian store too. You're going to be in heaven.
I'm one of the lesbian stores. All right.
So this is I don't think so, honey, and I do have something. You want to time me? Okay, yeah.
This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
It is a huge issue in the gay community when they give you your prep and it's in the packet. The cotton ball? No, no, no.
It's in this thing. What would you call it? It's like a pamphlet.
It's like a booklet of prep and not a little pill bottle. Look, Jared, go get it.
This is literally how they give out your prep now. It's like, how the hell am I supposed to travel with this? What is wrong? It's modeled after birth control.
It's modeled after birth control, which, by the way, that's inconvenient as hell, too. That is not the right equivalent.
This is ridiculous. First of all, I'm a gay on the go.
I got to get places. This is impossible to pack.
It's bigger than a dog kit. This is crazy.
First of all, why wouldn't you put pills in pill bottles? I know I'm talking to my sisters now when I say this. There is nothing better about this than the way it was.
We need to go back to before. And I'm talking about everything in this country.

The discourse is toxic.

We need to go back to the way we used to speak to each other.

Old town values.

We need prep in pill bottles.

And that's one minute.

Old town values, prep in pill bottles.

I miss the old days where I got my prep in pill bottles. Well, okay.

I'm coming right up.

So put the clock on.

Okay. He's coming right up.
This is Bow and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now.
I Don't Think So Honey. The prep pill bottles because I'm still on that stuff.
And why do they got to put a cotton ball in there? Yeah, every time I'm opening my new prep bottle, I got to make my fingers a tweezer and pinch a little cotton ball out? What? So it doesn't clack, clack my job kid i don't give a fuck i want people to know that i'm fucking and sucking okay and and yeah i'll take two if i if i if i forgot extra breeding if i got an extra breeding if you breed someone looks a little dangerous you gotta pop two part two of my i, honey. I don't think so, honey.
These overeager tops up there who, yeah, I get it. My hole is amazing.
If I say, maybe not tonight, don't try to keep jockeying in there. 15 seconds.
I go, I was literally about to stop this guy this week and be like, I was going to say the word. Are you ready for this? Dude, in the middle of sex.
Can you imagine someone saying that? Or you saying that to anyone? The word. Yeah, I can imagine it.
Dude. Five seconds.
It's not going to happen tonight. No, I get it.
Get out of there. And that is kind of, you're toeing the line.
That's one minute. Here's what I'll say.
You're in the right town. There's a lot of tops.
Sure. But these tops better listen.
They take no for an answer. They take no for an answer.
They better, because otherwise, we might be getting in. You might have a fucking problem with me.
Yeah. You don't want a problem with Bowen Yang in P-Town.
You do not want to see that problem. You don't.
You don't. Also, we forgot to just mention the cotton.
That can't be good for the environment. No! Can I ask? There's poor lamb.
What is the thing with the cotton in any bottle of medication? I ask you my... That's wool.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
I forgot. But what, why? Cotton is from a flower and not an animal.
Yeah. Speaking of lamb community, the lambily is coming for me.
The lambily has officially ate your ass. Girl.
Chewed your ass out, rather. Why is there those little cottons in pills? Why is that? I think to prevent the pills from breaking if they hit the wall.
Jesus Christ. So I'm saying, yes, let's go back to the bottle, but let's not keep the, let's take the cotton ball out.
I'm just saying. Shake my pills.
Shake my pills. Shake my pills.
Next, Lisa, new Lisa from Temecula just dropped. Shake my pills.
Shake my pills. I'm just sound this makes.
Like, it's fucking thick. It's a brochure.
No, you're right. It's a Cheesecake Factory, man.
It's literally. Can I tell you something? This is the first time I'm seeing this.
Essentially, as a good reminder, I'm going to take my pill now. Who am I? Ready? I need to take my Pure Ferment, too.
By the way, Pure Ferment, you can't. I respect the hell out of y'all.
Keep sending. Oh, I love Pure Ferment.
No, baby, look at it. I have it on display.
The bum-bomb? Hello? Bitch. The bum-bomb goes so hard.
The bum-bomb? People go, ooh. No, we can't.
What are you saying? Who am I? Jared is doing an impression of someone we met on vacation. We did meet someone on vacation who we were talking to them, and then they got their passport out.
She might listen. That's okay.
Her passport was, it was like Looney Tunes. Well, no, because the thing is, like, we were just standing there, like, completely still.
There was no movement at all. And she, like, had her passport in her hands.
And then of nowhere this like it was like slapstick moment it was slapstick it was Charlie motherfucking Chaplin which is not slapstick I know but you know what I mean is he not slapstick? I don't think he's technically considered slapstick well damn oh no he is slapstick a teacher towards me no no no no Charlie Chaplin is slapstick A Well, damn. Oh, no, he is slapstick.
No, you're right.

A teacher towards me. No, no, no, no.

Charlie Chaplin is slapstick. A teacher towards

me in the best way. Not in the

evil groomer way that Kate Mara so

expertly portrayed. She was so

brilliant as a groomer in that show.

Kate Mara's grooming

was so convincing. Better than

Julianne's? Oh, Julianne.

Julianne had some good grooming. She did a great grooming in May, December.
Let's be real. Yeah, let's be real.
Mara, Julianne Moore. Thank you.
I'm not dealing with this Kate Mara. I also have to say, Kate Mara has not turned in a performance that's nearly as good as either Carol or Girl with the Dragontoo.
You didn't watch a teacher,

and so you don't have a leg to stand on.

You watch her episode of Pose?

It's my birthday.

I won't be spoken to like that.

She's seen her episode of Pose. Her episode of Pose.

Who could forget?

What else is it about Kate Mara?

No one's ever been better

when being pushed in front of a train.

Period.

Oh, please. Her claim to fame.
Spoiler alert. Far different.
Taylor was amazing in Amsterdam. She gave everything in that moment.
Yeah. I was so proud of my girl.
No, I'm sorry. Rachel McAdams is the best.
Yeah, she really did that. At getting pushed in front of a car? Or just being hit by a large vehicle.
Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. And shove it up your hair.
Ah! That's what that moment is. I'm going to chase my, um, prep pill with my Heineken while you announce Jared Frieder.
This is Jared Frieder's I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now.
Okay, so this goes out to Logan. Logan, we love you.
This is basically my cousin Rachel Stryker's I Don't Think So, Honey, which is I Don't Think So, Honey, pediatric cancer pediatric cancer out of all cancer research funding only 4% only 4% goes to pediatric cancer so fucked up we need to donate to pediatric cancer to stop it and on that on that same limb I don't think so honey Brooks from season 10 of the Real Housewives of Orange County who faked cancer one of the greatest reunions of all time watch it watch it dig yourself a Dig yourself a bigger grave, Biggie. Dig it, dig it.
30 seconds. I don't think so, honey.
Shannon Bedore never coming on this podcast yet. We got to get her on.
Oh, okay. We got to get Archie on the pod.
It needs to happen. Shannon and Archie, her dog? Shannon and Archie together.
I envision two more mics at this table. Everyone, we're huddling around talking about when Brooks faked cancer.
I don't think so, honey. Cancer.
And I think that that is something that we all should be discussing for the rest of P-Town. Okay.
Five seconds. Do you want to do one more? And thank you to all my homies out there.
And to your birthday. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Jared. And to all his homies out there.
Love you, Logan. Yeah, I mean, that's a very spirited.
Very spirited. And it dovetailed perfectly into pop culture I had to I had to take it to a Brooks place Rachel inspired me to do that did you know it's an important message yes did you know that Jared watches the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion part three every night before he goes to bed and do we mean every night every single night I don't Until I set up that app that you told me about.
Endell, which we've loved. I love Endell.
We love Endell so much. I love the soundscape of Vicky Gunnelson screaming.
Come on, House. Get over here.
It's time to do I Don't Think So, Honey. Patrick Rodgers' I Don't Think So, Honey.
You guys are going to be introduced to Charlton last because you haven't met him yet. Charlton has a big debut.
And I asked if he had anything to say, and he said, always. Always.
All right. So here comes house.
You want to count him down, Bonyang? This is Patrick Rodgers' house. I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. Speaking of important messages, according to the director of retail business development at Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty is not a cat.
She's actually a little girl born and raised in the suburbs of London.

I don't think so, honey.

That's not a girl.

That's a cat.

Girl, quit this narrative.

I'm so sick of hearing about how this is a little girl.

This is not Abigail Breslin.

This bitch has been dressed like a cat since I was born.

Dressed like a cat?

She's always been a cat.

30 seconds. Wait, now hold on.
Now hold on. Is she a cat or is she dressed like a cat? I was born.
Dressed like a cat? She's always been a cat. 30 seconds.

She's always.

Wait, now hold on.

Now hold on.

Is she a cat or is she dressed like a cat?

A cat.

No, no, no.

Do you see they attack me?

They attack my beliefs because they know how important message this is.

This is a cat who's going about her business,

and she does not need to be disrespected into saying that she's a human.

If you've ever met a cat, you know they do not want to be associated with human beings. No.
Trust me. Hello Kitty has always been a cat.
She will always be a cat. And I don't want this narrative to continue for another second.
And that's one minute. I want you to know.
First of all, first of all, you're so correct. The first thing when you type in is hello into Google.
Kitty a thing is hello kitty a cat. Are you kidding me? It's a thing.
I'm sorry. This is just to correlate and be a supplemental material.
Celeste and I wrote a whole fucking sketch about this. This is still driving us crazy.
It's an insane conversation that that company will not get up.

Won't budge.

No, it's satanic.

Sorry, Celeste, me,

and the Please Don't Destroy Boys,

we wrote this Hello Kitty sketch.

Kiki Palmer.

I do remember this.

It's Charlton Lamb's time.

Wait, did you have something

to contribute to the Hello Kitty discourse?

Oh, you want to add?

I just want to say,

just know that Hello Kitty's

always been a cat.

Thank you.

Just know that. Always been a cat.
This is is charlton lam everyone it's your honor to meet him today and i'm very excited to hear what you got for us this is i'm very excited too this is very anticipated for me this is charlton lambs i don't think so any. Okay.
I just want to start and say, I'm not really ever on the application Grindr. Okay.
When I am, and if you see me on there, please do as my headline says and take me on your boat. Yes.
But I just want to say, I don't think so, honey. People who post screenshots of people telling them they were good at sex as part of their profile on Grindr.
Like, this is one of the best holes I've ever had. You are so good.
It's so weird. It's like, why am I scrolling through your album and it's like nude, nude, and then like a review of you being good.
Like some sort of creepy, nasty Jackie Weaver for your consideration campaign. It's so bizarre.
And like also like one thing that is not part of whether I want to have sex with you is if someone else enjoyed having sex with you. Like that's not part of it.
It's like am I attracted to you? Are you hot? It's meaningless data. It's like hey even though you think I'm not cute just to let you know I actually have a 4.8 in turns I'm blowing and I'm working on raising my no I don't think so.
And that's one minute. I mean, I think we have our winner.
We have our winner. I think Charlton has won the Adam Thinks on the Olympics.
Congratulations, girl. Congratulations.
I have to say, I think we might have seen the same person because I had never... Wait.
Are you talking to someone in P-Town? Is it here locally in P-Town? It's here in P-Town.

You're busted.

It's here in P-Town.

And then the other thing is like,

the reply is always the most like,

thank you so much, man.

I really love that.

I really was working on it.

Like, why is it this way?

This reminds me of,

I was at Chinese school one year

and a little kid,

it was kind of the cutest thing,

but it was this little kid

held up a blue eyes,

white dragon card from Yu-Gi-Oh,

a powerful card in Yu-Gi-Oh.

Thank you. at Chinese school one year and a little kid, it was kind of the cutest thing, but it was this little kid held up a blue eyes, white dragon card from Yu-Gi-Oh, a powerful card in Yu-Gi-Oh and just walked around and just kind of like showed it to everybody.
Yeah, let you know, status. Like letting you know, but it's like, well, everyone has that card, but also it's like, everyone's had sex.
It's so like, I've fucked before. It's literally like, it's like, it is.
It's posting your own reviews. It's crazy.
And also it's like I don't know who do you guys regularly follow up with trade after? No. Not like that.
Not like that. Not like that.
Not like hey leave a review would really help me. It's not the actual podcast app.
That was fun. See you soon.
Totally. See you again.
This all being said, by the way, if you do give us a five-star review on the podcast app, it actually does help. Actually, we've had some crazy people lately sort of drag us, so please give us a five-star review.
You better not look. It's not that I...
I see it every now and then, And I'm like, I wish some of the readers would come through. So give us a five-star review.
And I'm so happy. That's the way that this podcast is going to end.
Can we just thank Charlton, Patrick and Frida. It's Jared's birthday.
And he's one of our favorites. And we love you very much.
Jared Frieder. Do you want to say one more thing to all the...
Your fans, really. Your homies.
Jared's fans are called homies. Are his fans called homies? Yeah.
If you're a Jared fan, you're a homie. To all my homies out there.
My Dade County dreamers. To all my Dade County dreamers, I just want to say, I hope you had a brat summer and vote for Kamala Harris for president.
Thanks, homies.

Thanks, homies.

We end every episode with a song.

Provincetown, we're gonna see you there.

I think it might have been better the first time, but your effort was spectacular.

Bye.

Bye.

Las Culturas is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcasts. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang.
Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and Hansani. Produced by Becca Ramos.
Edited and mixed by Doug Baim and Monique Laborde. And our music is by Henry Kavarski.
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