“Wealth Whispers and I’m Screaming” (w/ Gabby Windey)

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Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Look, Matt.
Oh, I see. Wow.
Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes.
Oh, my goodness. Wow.
Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling.
Culture sort of in the house. Culture in the house.
Well, this is the most precious skill to me in life, which is something that you do well. I don't think I do well.
Someone who can just unfurl their mind solo in front of a microphone. Unfurl the mind are three words I didn't know I needed together until you just did that.
Unfurl your mind. Unfurl the mind.
Wow. Through words, through movement.
It's like certain people do like a stream of consciousness. I don't think that's what our guest does.
I think there's something even more elevated where it's like, you've been told it's like slam poetry. I didn't know if I was supposed to be here or not.
We're skipping the whole pretense. Welcome to your ears, Gabby Whitney! I was like me being privy to this.
I was like looking at the camera like holy shit. It gets weirder now that we do it on camera for people to just sit there while we do the intro.
Believe you me, I loved it. I'm like, keep going, keep going.
But like, I think you do it better, literally. I'm not kidding than anyone else who has ever lived.
This is insane. This is so crazy of you.
Like, it's like not even clicking.

Don't you agree, though, on some level?

Don't you agree?

Long-winded.

Listen to it.

It's like, it's poetry what you do.

Thank you.

I know everyone's saying that, which like my head cannot fit in this room right now.

It's like so insane.

When I first started.

Winning the traders.

Long-winded icon.

Talk more than saying.

It doesn't even have to be about the traders. It was Bella Hadid reposting the Business Hours TikTok.
And then now I'm skyrocketing into the stratosphere. I'm like, I cannot be stopped.
You? But it was like, it was bound to happen anyway. I don't think, I'll love to Bella.
You didn't need the Bella repost. I don't know.
Like, I mean, maybe you just, podcasts take so long to get off their feet that I'm like, damn, like, I don't actually know if this is clicking and people say they like it. Like, they're lying to my face because, you know, I'm lying to everyone else's face.
Did you lie to our face when you came in here? No, fuck no. Are you kidding? Are you a traitor? I'm like...
No, stop. You guys are both iconic.
I'm like, literallyoster syndrome. Don't, don't be.
No, literally don't be. What are you talking about? We're like, I'm like, I got nervous for you today.
Stop. That you were coming.
Yeah, same. I took an Ativan last night.
I woke up groggy. No, not an Ativan.
Not an Ativan. Why is 0.25 times two? Okay, well, listen, times two.
You're like up on your doses because you are a medical professional. Right.
Exactly. Right.
Yes. I know.
You know all the shit. You got it together in terms of MGs.
Yeah. Literally via experience and experimentation.
Yes. Yes.
I know. I'll tell you what's the girl that will get you if you allow her to take over your life, which I did at one point.
And then I was waking up every morning and just started sobbing melatonin. Oh, you have to really be careful of her because 10 milligrams of melatonin is not a metric ton of depression.
Whoa. The sobbing in the morning is so real.
I had a breakdown over a coffee shop and the maid hotel because they wouldn't let me get on their, their wifi. I'm like, I spent $20 in carrot juice.
I just need to get some work done. Looking at my computer sobbing, I got recognized.
No! But she couldn't tell because my head was down that I was going through something. She's like, I just want to let you know I'm a huge fan.
And I slowly get up with welled eyes. This is not one Sydney Sweeney tear.
No! This was a full fade. Yes.
Why didn't they let you on the wifi? Cause characters wasn't enough. Cause characters.
Cause the character. Cause the character.
The amazing character that you brought in. Why wasn't carrot juice enough to get on the wifi? Because only hotel guests.
I'm like, it's not going to cost any more money if you let me on the Wi-Fi. I swear.
And they love to turn me down. Right.
But you know what? I'm like, actually, a Karen, I feel like, doesn't get as much of a response than a victim. I'm going to cry to your face.
I'm going to cry to your face. And then maybe they would let me on the Wi-Fi.
Whereas Karen is just like the wrong energy. Then they want to fight.
Yeah. I think if I cried to them, they still wouldn't let me on the Wi-Fi, but they would have broke like the bitchy barista character.
Yeah. Character because of the characters.
Wait, you're so right because I don't want to start any shit. Start it.
Let's go. For some reason, Brittany was like brandishing this Karen identity

towards the end of the show.

She was like,

I'll speak to the manager.

And I'm like,

that's not something you brag about.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Totally.

Dolores was calling her Karen left and right.

She'll say it to her face.

Really?

Yeah.

And I'm like,

that's Dolo.

That is so Dolo.

Yes.

I almost did it as my,

I don't think so honey today,

but I'm going to do something else,

which I feel more passionately about. But one of my things things is like people are dogging Dolores for winning the traders and I'm like you know what she was so faithful that even at the end she earned it because people were like we're going to end the game and to still exist at the end of that whole experience and be like we're good to share the money like just like that lack of cutthroatness is playing the game as a faithful.
So you can do it that way. Yes, it is what it is.
You guys, she's at the end for a reason or not a reason. We're all splitting the money.
It's how it ended. Yeah.
You know, it's like, I feel like it's not that deep every day. She would be like, please traitor.
Kill me. She did not want to be there.
So then I was like, bitch, are you a traitor?

Because like, why don't you care?

Yes, Bob the Drag Queen was like, are you rich?

Or did you need this money?

I was like, because at first I was like, what do you mean rich?

He's like, Bob Harper rich lives next door to RuPaul.

And I was like, no, I'm here because I need the money.

You know, I'm not, this is on loan, Mew Mew.

My money's still talking. We're not whispering.
We're wealth whispers and I'm screaming. Yes.
We're entitled to wealth whispers and I'm screaming. Yes.
Poetry. Actually, I'm like anyone who will listen, I still haven't gotten my bonus money.
Oh, what? I'm $7.99 in the hole from the wedding. Oh, my God.
$799. Yeah, that's how much the wedding cost.
We'll Venmo you. Oh, my God.
Thank you. I'm like, no, I still need it.
It's me. You do it.
No, stop it. Is that so dumb? No, that's so...
Kill me. No.
Why did I just offer that? I'm sorry. I'll give you my Venmo.
Okay. It's my dog's name and his birthday.
I had to change it. It's not your own name? No.
Oh, why? Because people were charging and sending you money, they found out? Oh, they requested. Yeah, they're like, oh yeah.
And then it's one bad slip of a finger and you've given someone $2,000. Literally, yes.
I feel like the combination that you've experienced of Bachelor Nation being a vibe and being like, oh, a little prickly. And you and I are fellow Denver folk.
Really? I grew up in Aurora. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. You're the best thing to ever come out of Aurora.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. You should actually print that on merch.
It's a rough. No, it is.
The rough town of Aurora. Yeah, you said it, not me.
And I'm like, this makes sense. Why? Like, you're so funny.
You're so successful. Stop it, Gabby.
No, but wait, you were UCCS? Yeah, you know it. You know it.
Big shout out. They're also asking for money, probably via Venmo.
Oh, yeah. I'm like, get out of here.
You're not calling to say they're proud of me. No, they're like Alma Mater.
I don't care about you. Alma mater doesn't matter.

You're the best thing to come out of Colorado Springs.

No, actually, I don't usually own it, but you said it.

Why would you?

Exactly.

That's where I went to conversion therapy.

You went to conversion therapy?

I went to conversion therapy in Colorado Springs.

Holy shit.

We would drive down the two hours each way each week.

Oh my God.

And it was so funny.

And then my dad and I ended up bonding that way.

Okay.

It was kind of sweet.

In the car rides.

Isn't that like a cinematic piece?

Right.

Thank you. each way, each week.
Oh my God. And it was so funny.
And then my dad and I ended up bonding that way.

Okay. It was kind of sweet.

In the car rides.

Isn't that like a cinematic piece?

Right.

Like bonding in the car rides,

driving your son to conversion therapy

there and back two hours.

Exactly.

What else is there to talk about?

Right.

You like converted him

actually and accepting.

Yes.

Yes.

But like,

that is like the crucible

that has forged you.

Like that is why you are like, you are iconic. Because Colorado Springs.
And Broncos and Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars and now Traders. Thank you.
Everyone forgets Dancing with the Stars. No, but you know what? It's so amazing.
Can I say something? We're sitting here with someone. Yeah.
Who did a 10s across the board Samba to Live in La Vida Loca. And we've never had that before.
We've never had that in a guest. My Butterfogo.
Can you imagine? And I winked at the camera. I had a shot of tequila for the first time in my life.
My old Broncos coaches were there. Oh my God.
So I was like, they were talking shit about me. They were like, where were those legs when she was on the team? Stop it.
Yes. And then I winked at the camera.
I was like two stepping and then I shot him a wink.

You gave it to him.

Yes.

That's what got me my 10.

I scored a 40 out of 40.

40 out of 40.

What was the moment when Buble did not give you a 10?

No.

What do you think his problem was?

Me talking mad shit on Michael Buble.

First of all, this is not the first, second, third,

or fourth time.

I will also scream it.

Michael Buble is beyond dead to me.

He like literally, I fucked me. Looked me up and down on the way to my trailer.
You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm for sure getting a 10 out of this guy. There's no way.
Yes. Did he just try to flirt by giving you a nine? I don't know.
That is not the way to flirt with me. I don't do that.
Yes. I like the love bomb.
I'm all for it. Was that part of the courtship with Robbie? Your now wife? Yes.
Who came onto who? Tell us the love story. You know what the thing is with love bombing? It's only love bombing if you don't like it.
You're right. That's a real culture number 75.
You know what the thing is with love bombing? It's only love bombing if you don't like it. Right.
Once you decide you don't like them, then you're like, fuck you, you love bombing. Forever.
Yes, exactly. But if you like it, you'll get married in Vegas.
And it's the love of your life. But it's beyond love bombing now.
It's been a while. It's been a while.
She is, especially like in the last couple of weeks, we've been so busy. She is the, I would, I literally would not be here without her.
My manager sent me the sweetest text. He's like, you are becoming so successful because of the people you surround yourself with.
Like, it's just a testament to literally Robbie. Like, she is incredible.
Not one jealous bone in her body. She's like, you're my girl.
A man could never. Like I've dated those.
And just her sheer genuine joy for me. Like I check in on her every day.
I'm like, are you sure this is okay? Like I do want to prioritize our relationship above all. And I know she's the same.
So like love bombing or not, like lay it on me. She's like, why are you calling me a love bomb? But it's not a love bomb.
If you want it. Wait, but it's interesting that you bring that up because it's like famously you went on The Bachelor.
And my question is for anyone that really goes on The Bachelor, how genuine was that? Like, where was your head at? What was your state of mind going into The Bachelor? Is it, I'm going to find the man of my dreams and roll the dice on this? Or were you a fan of the show? What was the vibe? I fucked, you know? I was like, I'm here. Yeah, you're like, I fucked with this.
And fucked him. And it's like, I know what I'm supposed to do.
And the whole time I was thinking it's me, you know? I'm like, why can't I have a relationship? I was obviously dating like the wrong gender. So I was like, this is it.
I'm at the age. I've done the work.
I can fall in love with this toe looking ass. Yeah, sure.
You know, skinny jean wearing. This is my guy.
So when you get out of the car and you see him, is there something that happens because you're on The Bachelor where you're like, is it something like in your brain that makes him an object of affection? Because now you look back and you're like, nah. Totally.
Have you seen his dancing videos? Oh, my God. They will make you run.
I'm going to send you one and you wish you didn't have eyes. But there is people who are like, did the producers manipulate you? I'm like, I manipulated myself.
Like you're in an environment. The competition aspect is huge.
You're gaslighting yourself. That's all you talk about in interviews.
So you're like man I really am in love with him. Like I can do this.
Thank God I escaped that by the skin of my teeth. I know and then told him to fuck off at the end when he wanted to walk you out.
Yeah. No.
Yeah my face full of disdain. I'm like, how did I do that? Do you think it was that moment that secured you the bachelorette offer? Because you kind of were just like, well, we've never really had someone be this flavor of fuck off.
Toad, I definitely thought, but nobody else did, including the producers. I went into my interviews because I interview a lot of like women for the bachelorette and I was texting my producer who we have a really good relationship with and I was like what do I have this in the bag like what do you mean they're interviewing anyone else like I'm sure just because they have to and like lo and behold they like it was not gonna be me for a long time I'm like what news to me Were they just going to have Rachel? I think so.
Yeah. Yeah.
But then overall, can you like average out the whole experience across like the entirety of the Bachelor run? Are you like, glad I did it? Yeah. Yeah.
No regrets. Absolutely.
There you go. That's great.
Yeah. No, I'm like, I would do it for the accommodations alone.
First class, great champagne, penthouse. The Bachelor is the one show that I've been on that has treated us really like stars, like the full thing.
Wow. Yes, like trailers, glam every day, great accommodations.
Yeah, so leaving that, I'm like, what is this? Right. Because I feel like there's little things trickling out of Trader's production where it's like, oh we all stay at the hotel next to the airport I cannot confirm and we love Peacock you guys are cultural awards winners for best streaming service you know how we love you sir we know he wasn't staying in a day no I may or may not supposed to be saying, but we stayed in the castle and I will die on that hill.
We stayed in the castle and basically like that really was you getting ready for bed, right? In the B-roll. Yes, full face and makeup.
They told me to jade roll my, and I thought they were going to slow it down, but I was like, and I'm like, that is not how you jade roll. My favorite thing that's ever happened in the history of the traitors is at one

point the traitors are discussing in the second

season murdering Larsa. And she's

reading a book and she flips at least

13 pages in once. They were like, Larsa

read the book. We're like, Larsa don't play.

Yes. We're

like, get on your selfies.

Get on your feet, OnlyFans.

This is not for a pleasure.

Raking the foot money. Good for her.
I'm a stan of Real Housewives of Miami. Thank you.
Thank you for saying that. Thank you.
We think it's top three. Absolutely.
A couple seasons ago was like unbelievable. Last year was iffy, but we love Salt Lake.
We love Miami. Glad Atlanta's back.
Glad Atlanta's back. Yeah.
Yeah. Jersey, obviously dolo.
Love Jersey. Yes.
Yeah, she was my number one. She's what got me into the franchise.
Me too. Yes.
Literally same. She reminds me of all my mom's friends.
I don't know how to explain it. She's like so like down to the earth and salt to the earth.
And there's something about like the loyalty thing, which I don't ascribe to kind of at all. I think if you demand loyalty, it's a huge red flag.
Yeah, I agree. I with her, I'm like, I know it's authentic to you and therefore I will ride for you with this value.
I completely agree. You said it perfectly.
I am ride or die if I fuck with you, but also I'm not. That's different though.
Say you're ride or die. It's not the same as like, I'm, I can't explain it.
The demanding loyalty you put perfectly. Yeah, it's a red flag as like I can't explain it the demanding loyalty you put perfectly because it's like yes you cannot go into a relationship with expectations because then it's not genuine so I don't really demand loyalty because it means you're going to do something fucked up it's like if I'm coming out here being like I demand loyalty from you I'm like okay what's going to be the gun to my head situation that you're insinuating will be in at some point in time that I need to ride for you despite anything? I don't love that.
Yeah, they're waiting for you to fuck up. And that's my opinion about what Teresa Giudice does on New Jersey.
Oh, Dolores? Not to wade into it, but that's my one thing with Dolores is I'm like, I understand this as a core value. Straddling the line.
But sometimes you got to call it the way you see it. Oh yeah, Teresa is such a liability.
The fact that Dolores can stick with her, I'm like, damn girl. She's loyal.
I mean, I guess she's right. Yeah, yeah.
Were you, when you're in the Traders, because I would imagine you're like, you're obviously a huge fan of reality TV. Like, did you watch the gamer type shows? Like, are you a survivor person? No.
When Boston Rob came in and everyone like shit their pants or like got wet. Yes.
And like have seen like old TikToks of him where he had like mad swag and that accent. I had no idea.
I'm like, who's this backwards looking ass? Like, I'm not, I don't care about him. But no, I didn't watch any, like, gamer stuff.
I quickly learned. You quickly learned? I don't think it held you back.
Like, I mean, did it? Clearly not. Right? No, yeah.
I went after Tony first. Yeah.
Because he was just like, he was so chaotic. He has such a big heart.
But you have no idea what is going on in that cute little head. Yeah.
And I'm like, he like he's gotta go so especially because he's like all you need to hear is he's a two-time winner of survival right exactly we'll get him out yeah and all the gamers do it to themselves because they come in being like i want to be a trader so bad and i would be the first to be recruited so like i'm curious how other seasons are gonna go i feel like they need Traders season of like just gamers and just like dumb reality. And then another one of just, we'll call them normies, like non-TV folks, because now that UK is back.
That pops off. They love the civilians.
So do you watch the international Traders seasons? No. There's like an incredible season of Australia.
I think it's Australia season one. And then there's UK series one and three, which I just finished.
You'll have like a really different appreciation for it when you see, because there's no reality people at all. It's just like kind of normies that they cast.
Yeah. But there's something about it when, and this speaks to you as well, when these people really need the money.
That's the thing. The stakes are not high enough for us.
For some people, like, that's why, like, when Danielle at the reunion was like, I was doing anything I can for the money. I'm like, respect.
You swear on your grandchildren. I'm not your grandkid.
I don't know what they're going to think when you go home to them and have your first dinner. Like, I'd be like, damn, grandma.

But like, good for you.

Like, I've done like, you know, way more.

For less.

I'm begging you for $7.99.

And he'll give it.

Please don't.

I'll supplement.

I'll give a fifth of it.

Okay, great.

No, no, I cannot.

I'm going to have to give it to someone who's like begging for money. Yeah, no.
You know? For their college tuition. Fine.
I'm like, I'm not Nicki Minaj. I'm sorry.
But weddings. Like, not yet.
One day. You are the next Nicki.
You kind of are. People are Barb out for you, Gabby.
You don't think so? It's a lot of pressure. I'm like, now that I'm growing, I'm like, fuck you guys.
You're not going to like it here all the time. Like, I swear I need the bar to be so low.
Like, it's not about where the bar, it's not about a vertical level of the bar. It's about a horizontal placement because you are showing, you're literally like telling us like what your medication doses are on your pot.
You know, you're being real as fuck and people are loving you for it. Yeah.
Honestly, and this sounds like trite, but it's like, because I wish somebody else did that. And some people do that on TikTok.
Right. Which is why I started because there's so much stigma still.
Like when I was in my twenties, that's when I really needed to be medicated. Well, and now I'm act like I'm fixed but it's like no because I'm medicated which is yes a version of fixing yeah totally but nobody talked about it you know it was so taboo now I meet someone I'm like what meds are you on because we're all on what meds are you on I was.
Yes. Love.
Actually, I had a real moment yesterday where I was like, I showed up to a place I was supposed to go and like socialize and I realized I was too high and I was like, wait, I didn't need to be like so stoned to be here. So now I'm like trying to make a concerted effort to actually back off the self-medicating with marijuana because it's gotten to a point which is too much.
I did that. I went through the same thing and you'll be happy because you're like, why do I have to like put myself through this? You know, it's like self-sabotage in a way.
You know what it is for me is like this just makes me nervous because of my like family history. But it's like when I start forgetting things, I'm like, hold the plug.
Like, like, don't do anything to your brain where you could like create holes in it and whatever. Like, it's just what I'm on this week right now is it's like every time i even like a thought leaves my mind and it won't come back i'm like well it's because i absolutely fry my brain and this is this is not my own doing and i'm like where's the genetic testing i know it's early on i'm like i have the gene yeah i have to eat clean yeah i become a vegan and like you know change my literal life I start becoming Dylan Efron down to earth.
Yes. I can't with the activities he gets into.
By the way, his B-roll in the castle was just him shirtless over here, him shirtless over there. Literally, everyone.
Hanging from the ceiling. I know.
I'm like the real estate of his biceps. I'm like, what about the real estate of my nipples? Come on, would you like might get a nip slip and don't tell me I want it to be out? That is intentional.
Oh, I'm like, come on. Like the women have to like be smart, be funny, serve looks and be smart.
And he just has to I mean, the amount of abs he has is insane. I feel like it's 16 or something.
Yeah, it's like it's like a And he's so, he's actually so thin. Yeah.
It's like the V, sure, but it's like beyond that. It's like a really sculpted, perfected male physique in that regard.
It's wide chest, little waist. Efron face.
Efron face. Yeah.
Wow. I know.
I'm like, come on, you guys. Come on, come on.
Was there any part of you that was like, look at him hanging from that thing? No. Like when he got mic'd, like me and Bob the Drag Queen would be like.
That's like the Bob was gone so long. I know.
So soon. We were so close.
Yeah, I can tell. Like in all of the like BTS, that Alan post.
It's just me turning around. Like looking up at him.
He'd be like, get away from me. I'm so clingy when I like someone.
So I would just like follow him around. And he's like, please get away from me, which is why I was so surprised that he was a traitor.
But I'm like, we never talked about the game. We always talked about, I was like, I don't give a fuck.
Like who you think is a traitor? Like, I just want to hang. Right.
That honestly probably helped you though, right? For the first, like at least half of it is like, you know, being an old person, making your authentic connections. And then all of a sudden it's like you snapped into a game mode when you kind of had to.
Exactly. But you kind of knew going in, you know, you know, everything's a social game.
It's like, you have to be able to pivot. That's the strategy.
They're like, you had an alliance. It's like, but I knew it wasn't going to last.
It's like, people are going to fall off. You're going to be alone at some point.
And then it's kind of going to be easier because nothing's personal, but it's like, I feel like you should just understand that. Right.
It's just like innate. It's life.
Totally. And only, only this season got personal within the.
Yeah. In a way that it was like, oh, this is a little ugly.
I agree. When you gagged watching that? Insane.
When Carolyn and the turret, this I'll never forget, when they were like, who should we go after? Who should we go after? And she was like, Danielle. Like just the three of them.
Pointing a topic. And like the audacity is incredible.
That has to be so wild to be on literally participating in a reality show. And more than half of it is happening in a place that you can't see.
And then you really like, I guess you didn't really understand what the show was giving until it was on. Yeah.
I knew they were taking up so much screen time. I knew there was like a subplot in a plot and I'm like, fuck you.
Like, I just want some, please share. Every, every day when we would get like demiked, the EPs would come in like jaw on the floor.
This is the best television we've ever seen. I'm like, I know it's not because of us.
I know it's not because of the faithful. I'm surprised they even said that.
Oh, they were freaking out almost every night they knew. And I'm like, I know it's not because of us.
Wow. I know it's not because of the faithful.

I'm surprised they even said that.

Oh,

they were freaking out.

Almost every night they knew.

And I'm like,

are you lying to us at this point?

But it's like,

cause we didn't know what was going on in the turret.

But that,

that gasses you up in a way that makes you a little suspicious.

And you're like,

okay,

well,

something's happening behind a veil that I,

that we're not privy to.

We knew they were drama the whole time. I'm like, you guys are giving, so I need to go into my interviews.
Do you guys do NAD? I have heard of it. What's D? NAD.
Oh, NAD. Yeah, NAD.
Oh, I love it. Me too.
I question the legality because I'm like, I'm here week after week. Like, I'm a fiend.
This is the substance. It is the substance.
They gave it to you once, huh? No, but... I'm like, I'm here week after week.
Like I'm a fiend. This is the substance.
But you couldn't- It is the substance. They gave it to you once, huh? No, but- You didn't know where this was from.
I'm fine with you. I'm hanging on to your every word.
Okay, so there's like a nasal spray. It's legal in the UK.
I've gotten it in the UK. So I got the nasal spray.
It's so strong. I did it up my nose before my promos.
My blood vessel blew. I had a red eye.
I'm like, something's got to change. So I was squirting it in the back of my mouth.
I would dope NAD before every interview. So I could be like talking shit.
Like, fuck you, Dylan Efren. Like, come on his head so far up my ass.
He can't see't see straight. Oh, my God.
As you're, he's like, oh, yeah, and before the round table. Yes.
Before the round table. Oh, my God.
It helps you think. You are doping.
I was doping. It lasts, like, 20 minutes.
But that's enough to get you through the beginning, which is, like, the most nervous you are. When the seals are being broken on who's being spotlit this week or something.
And so I always felt like your presence at round table was so measured.

And I guess that's,

are you saying that's why you were so like clear?

That and propanolol.

Aha.

Crossing your arms.

Yeah.

I was like,

yes,

my heart rate's in the forties.

I'm feeling good.

Maybe 38.

I can think so clearly.

Yeah.

I was like, come for me. They're like, you should be a lawyer.
You should be a lawyer. I'm drunk up.
Like, this is what anybody needs if they want to be a lawyer. Oh my God.
Yeah. Which, everyone who's listening to this, it's not a benzo.
No. You know, it doesn't affect your, it just makes you think clearly.
Okay. So there is still a skill.
I am not attributing all of this. I haven't had NAD in 10 days.
You know what? Come on, come on. Give me some credit.
I'm telling you. I've had it through the IV.
The liquid IV? Yes, yes. So there's an option you can do, which is like exclusively NAD plus.
And it literally takes about, it took me about two hours to get through the bag. It's brutal.
You lay there and you feel like

there's like a million pounds on you.

I'm telling you,

when you get up,

this is the only time

I've really understood.

You know when they say

like a new mom can lift a car

for babies under a car?

By the way,

a scenario that I'm like,

who came up with that?

Like why was the baby under a car?

I'm like,

that's me on prednisone.

Literally.

But like you do the NID plus,

you are mother.

You're mother.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah.
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Code CULTURISTAS. My question about the roundtable is how long does it take? Hours.
Is it actually that long? Like maybe we don't have like time at all, but it's, I would say pushing two hours, maybe two and a half, three. Wow.
So when it seems like someone is voting for something really random, like let's just say a lot of Dolores' votes, it wasn't that they were like necessarily super random because I would imagine the person that she's written down has gotten time at that round table. Not the case for Dolores, but the case for everybody else that you may see voting randomly.
Like all the times Dylan voted for me, we were going head to head. Really? Yeah.
And they cut all that. All of it.
I ate him alive, which is probably why they did. Oh, they wanted him to be the golden boy.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, but yeah, we really went head. I'm like, come on.
Like that wasn't, Danielle was not my only good round table. Sure.
I had a bunch. You did eat that round table.
Yes. Every production would text us every week being like, how'd you like the episode? I'm like, where am I? Yeah.
Like you're in it, Gabby. Like you're doing okay.
Remember that you did win? Yes. The people on social media love you.
And I'm like, more. It can never be enough.
Where am I? What did you say to Dylan? What got caught? Can you reveal? Like, do you remember, you probably don't, in the teaser at the beginning of the season before it started, I was like, watch your cocky attitude because it's going to get you in trouble. Yes, I remember that.
Yes, he was accusing me because he had just gotten Bob the Drag Queen out with the help of Boston Rob. It's like a lot of it, it is some like whatever intuition strategy,

but a lot of it is luck.

People are like,

the game plays itself,

which I really believe.

But yeah,

you know,

I pulled all the cards.

I'm like,

you're coming after me

because my personality,

because you never met a woman like me.

Oh,

period,

actually.

I don't know if that's true.

You're like,

this is a little bit of energy plus

and a little bit of honesty.

Yes. Yeah.
It's a little bit of everything. I'm like, this can exist.
It doesn't mean I'm a traitor manipulator because my tits and my ass are out. That is the definition of misogyny.
There you go. Oh, I wish you would give him a lesson.
Literally, and he's so sweet. I know, he's literally.
You know, he's just an easy scapegoat because whenever I talk to Dylan, it's all of the men. Right.
You know what I mean? You want to stand in.

Yes.

Yeah.

Dylan,

Dylan does kind of accomplish so much.

He is like,

he can be the hero.

There was a moment when he was going after,

when he was like going after Bob,

the drag queen in a way that I was like,

no,

no,

no,

don't go after Bob where I started to see him as a villain.

But then,

then he would become this easy stand in for like all the males on the cast. Like he just, he's so flexible as a character on this show.
Yes. In a way that is good, I think.
Totally. It was, there was no question ever that he wasn't a faithful.
And he really does his brain because he loves those game shows. He really is strategy.
I'm like, how do you think that many steps ahead? And a lot of times he was right. He was so right.
Yeah. Even like down at the end with the whole Britney thing, when Danielle like, you know, had something nice to say to everybody except Britney.
I'm just like, that is so perceptive. I thought that was fucked up of her because it was literally giving Britney away.
I was like, in a way it's like, I don't know what they say. And I'm also not one of those people who's like dunking on Danielle constantly because I think she's gotten a lot of abuse and I really don't think it's fair.
But my thing with that was I was just like, like you kind of did give away that it's her because in insinuating that she betrayed you, the only way she could be in that position is if she had knowledge that she then betrayed. Right.
So that was a little far from. Yeah.
The whole thing thing once the recruit or like suspected recruit happened where like there goes Brittany There's just no other option really she should have went for like Dylan or something Because then it would have been a little more confusing But it was just like too obvious and then Brittany changed like when Dylan was like Brittany's acting now I'm like damn. I'm not giving you enough credit I'm like, why do you have to say that? But it's real.
Yeah. It's really real.
Like, I wonder, would you do like an all-star season? I know. I'm like, it's too early to say, cause I haven't got my money yet.
Literally once I get it pre-tax, come on, my account will figure it out. Yeah.
Yes. Don't hit the UK taxes and then the US like a bonus, you know, but.
But I don't know. Part of it, it was like the most fun show I've done to watch back.
Oh, great. Yes.
And it's just like, it's pretty innocent. There's not a lot.
But filming was way more stressful than it led on. But I think doing it the second time around, you have more experience.
I mean, you are like getting hung out of like a helicopter by the end, which is crazy.

Oh my God.

I freaked out.

I'm like, you're not letting me say goodbye to my family.

You are liable.

I know Dylan's going to cut this rope.

Like any, at any second he gets,

I was literally buckled in by one buckle.

I'm like, is there any other buckles?

They're like, no, I'm not going anywhere.

But may at least give me like some kind of a psychological safety

because it was a huge buckle.

They know what they're doing.

They're like, we promise it's safe.

I'll see you next time. They're like, no, I'm not going anywhere.
But at least give me like some kind of a psychological safety because it was a huge buckle. They know what they're doing.
They're like, we promise it's safe. I'm like, by concept, this is not safe in any stretch of the imagination.
I will not recommend it to anybody. I'm like, I have a fully formed frontal lobe and amygdala.
So your fear center. So I'm like, you're just not getting me.
I came back and Brittany and Dolores were like, how was it? Really? I was surprised Dolores went up there to be honest with you. Same, and Brittany.
Riddled with fear. There was also that part where it was like when Dolores was partnered with God lover, Chrishell, with the bugs.
Yeah. And like Chrishell pulled out right away.

I was watching it being like,

Dolo, you would have lasted two more minutes.

I know you from watching you for years on that show.

I think this partnership was not built to last the bug challenge.

Right.

No, she was like, I picked the wrong partner.

I'm like, I beg to differ.

I think you picked the right partner.

You guys were out of there quick.

Wait, who was your partner again?

Carolyn.

And you guys made it through.

Yeah, we did. I was like, Carolyn, I'm so ready to to go Whenever you are I just don't want it to be my fault I don't want anything And she was like Let's keep going I'm like fuck But it was kind of like It was a big moment People were like I'm so proud of you I'm like same Fuck those maggots Yeah Perverts in my tits Yeah Like everywhere Everywhere Yes What about Carolyn Like were you as gooped as everyone when she ultimately was a traitor did you ever think that before it was happening no only that day it was like after the chessboard challenge where she was kind of giving away too much and other people brought it to me I'm like oh damn I could see it because it was the same as Bob talk about the game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she didn't manipulate or try and lie to anyone.

She was just like, what do you think?

What do you think?

So I never thought anything of it.

I didn't totally think she was a faithful.

I'm like, I'll figure this out later.

But like, I'm sharing her vape.

Like, we're having a good time.

Oh, you can have the vape?

Yeah.

Oh, amazing. You're not allowed to share it, but I was puffing, puffing.

I'm like, come on, NAD puff.

Yes. This is my cocktail.
Go fucking crazy at the round table. I'm obsessed.
No notes on the way you prepare. No, yeah.
An iconic turn. So, yeah, I mean, well done.
Congratulations. I think it's time to ask Abby the question.
Thank you. Absolutely.
100%. So this is when we ask, what was the culture that made you say culture was for you? Honestly, girls.
Yes! Come on. You know what's crazy? It got it right in the moment as it was airing and as you watch it now, looking back, I mean, we were like New Yorkers at that era, like relatively, a little bit younger than them, close to their age.
It is aging like a fine one. I agree.
I totally agree. And when you rewatch it, you like understand how you've changed.
Oh, yeah. But it's so good.
I'm like, fuck, Jess is a pick me. Whoa.
But like, yes, when I watched it the first time I wanted to be her because I'm a pick me. I mean, there's no character that you don't hate.
Yeah. Well, yes.
But it's like you love him and you hate him. Marnie.
Yeah. That was me.
Work of art. Work of art.
Yes. That was unfortunately me.
And I remember when Mike Spence had on your door, it was a sign when you would leave Bowen's apartment. There was a sign that said, don't be Marnie.
Don't be Marnie. Yes.
Yes. Oh my God.
There was a sign in my apartment. I'll never forget it.
Because you're like, that's me. Unfortunately.
It could be all of us. But the thing is, it could be all of us.
Yes. That was what was so genius about those four characters.
It was like, it called back to Sex and the City in a way where it was like, you could watch the show and see yourself in all of them. But this was like the alt-y, like Brooklyn, like nouveau version of what that show was.
It was like, yet again, we've done it. These are like more explicitly unsavory people and what they do is like worse and spoke to the time a little bit more.
But it was a perfect sequel to that show. Who are you? I think, and this is a compliment because I think she's the least unlikable one.
I think you're a full Shosh. I love Shosh.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah. She's kind of kooky crazy.
But she was just so smart in the end. Totally.
But she comes off as kind of dumb. But like the episode where they go to the North Fork Hampton's house or whatever.
And Shosh is just on one because she's drunk. Yeah.
And she's just like tearing into all of them. Yeah.
Sometimes you need to. Sometimes you need to.
I'm so sick of all of you. I'm so sick of all of you.
It makes you stronger as a relationship. You know, the bond.
She actually was the most mature because she was the one who got, she actually, if you watch it again from the beginning, she's the most open. She's like so thirsty for like Jess's approval and like to be involved in those girls.
And she was kind of like side character-y there for a little, like definitely number four on the call sheet. And then by the end, she was the first one to be like, I don't want to be friends with you guys.
I don't like you guys. You haven't been good for me.
You all need to grow up like I am. So ultimately she was the character who was able to mature the fastest.
Yes. No, I agree.
And I can relate to that character always. The one that's like wanting to fit in so bad.
Because like when you don't fit into a friend group or they're like not giving you attention, like it hurts so bad to be that girl. But we all have.
Yeah. You know, even on Housewives.
And I feel like sometimes they pull in new Housewives and you can tell who was like that Angie from Salt Lake City. Oh, yeah.
And I'm like, fuck, I relate. And letting it, like doing it and letting it all hang out and doing it so confidently.
And now she's blossomed. Exactly.
And now people understand her. I think she's so funny.
Like she seems like she's a really good time. She came on our podcast.
She's the only one that's been on the show. We kind of like don't ask a lot of housewives because we like this to be a space where we can kind of rip the piss out of them.
But with her, we were just like, let's go. It's our last episode of 2024.
It's Angie Kay. I love it.
Yes, I'm waiting for the perfect housewife. Yeah.
Lisa Rinna wants to come on. I'm like.
She's coming on our show, we believe. She'll be fine.
I think you should have her on. Okay.
Okay. This is what I need.
No, I need the pressure. You two together is really interesting.
No, interesting. No, I'm saying compelling.
I need to hear this conversation. The same.
Yes, I love her. And she's iconic.
The thing is that. Yes, I'm going to say something controversial.
And this sucks. Robbie and I talk about it all the time.
It's like, her daughters, how do you feel that you're never going to be as iconic as your mother? Yeah, no. And you know what's funny? The second she got off Housewives, she then like hit the fashion circuit harder than either of them.
Like it's a moment. She's an icon.
She's working with the sickest photographers. She does the most editorial.
She's timeless. She shows the fuck up at Marc Mark Jacobs were you at that show too?

no I've never been to a show that's why I'm wearing

Mew Mew

because I'm desperate

you look great

thank you

and that's a really

really good color

really good on you

thank you

yes I'm waiting for a nip

still

a tiny bit

they're sort of

they're sort of

they're sort of there

is it like how far

is she gonna go

it is

no this one definitely is

and it's white

and see through

your abundance

your abundance of nipples

great

sorry Donnie. I'm like, I am gonna like Blake Lively at some point.
Wait, does she have an eye clip slip? No, where she's just like, I'm sexually harassed. But she's the one.
That's a Blake Lively. Yeah, but she's the one who's doing it.
I'm like, oh my God, my poor podcast editor where I'm like, you can name this one like clit burnt off, like masturbating for money. I'm like, no comments, please.
Just do it. But like to go back to this, this idea that you could be a Nicki Minaj for a new generation.
Thank you. It's like really too high of praise.
No, no. It's like, Gabby, people are like clamoring.
Coming from you is insane. No, no, no.
Like, yes. If I didn't have my Ativan last night, my propanolol, I'd be having a panic attack.
But I'm fully charged, baby. Honestly, I will say I hadn't thought about carrying around NAD, but now I'm really excited about thinking about it.
Get the nasal. The nasal? Yes.
Don't do it in your nose because you'll bloodshot your eyes. Do it in your mouth.
In your mouth. Spray in the mouth.
Yes. Nasal spray in the mouth? Yeah.
Do you think maybe you just breathed in too hard? I think it's just like it is, I think, just a strong kind of abrasive because you see how NAD fucks you up. Yeah.
I mean, it's crazy. You know, when you're getting it.
So it's just too much for the little nose. What happens is I don't even have it put in the bag anymore.
They do an injection. Oh, shit.
We're on the same thing. I get it right here.
And sometimes they're like, do you want it in your butt or do you want it in the arm? And I'm always like, I don't know. I asked you to come to my home to give me this.
It's just me and you. I don't want to drop trowel.
Even I have boundaries at times. Same.
With this medical professional. Yeah.
I know. I'll do the arms sometimes.
It's like there's really no saying. When they come to your house, because occasionally I'll treat myself and I'll get an IV at my house.
And I had one nurse that came over to my house and she had just gone through a breakup. And they're in your house for like like 45 minutes to an hour so I ended up like being a real shoulder to cry on for this traveling IV nurse and she was like really going through it and then I had her again three months later and she was still having a hard time.
Oh girl, we gotta get over it. Yeah, girl, you need some NAD and some dick.
That's when love bombing goes wrong. Yes, yeah, she wants the love bomb.
Love nurse had been love bombed. Yeah.
And I was like, I'm so sad. And then she cried in my apartment.
But for her, I think she probably was, for lack of a better word, triggered when she came back to your apartment three months later. You know what? Maybe.
Maybe. You know what I mean? Yeah.
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All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. Now, when you and Robbie go back to Vegas now, like, is it going to be like, it's going to be a happy place.
It's always going to be a happy place for you guys. Yes, we're not Vegas people.
Like, we don't like to gamble. Like, they have good shopping, but so does LA LA and we're in New York a lot.
But now we're like, we have to go here once a year. I mean, as a Vegas person, that might go to two or three times.
You'll start to really like it. We love the nostalgia.
We went to the Hamptons once at the beginning of our relationship for our first time, both of our first times. She grew up in New York, but like obviously never went to the Hamptons.
She grew up with nine siblings and her mom was just like, fuck no. So we went now, we're like, we have to go every year.
We went last summer for a wedding, a chic wedding. So we have to go.
So it's like Vegas and the Hamptons. Those are the regular places.
I'm slowly becoming a Vegas person. Are you? Because I hadn't been back for like 12 years.
I went back to see Shania Twain and Mariah Carey. We had the best of them.
I want to see Mariah Carey's been on your pod. She's my all time.
Yes. On road trips.
Oh my God. I love her.
She gets me through. She literally sat exactly where you sat.
And we couldn't even. I would say we could take it.
Where's the NAD?

Where is the NAD?

Yeah, literally.

Yeah, yeah.

In the back of the throat.

Where?

I don't do that anymore.

Yes. I don't do that anymore.

No, only with NAD.

Yeah.

Worth a lot.

Is that a relief to no longer have to suck dick ever again?

I never did it in the first place.

Yeah, good.

I'd be honest.

They'd ask.

They'd be like, uh-uh.

If you have to ask,

obviously I don't have to do it. Now you go down on me

and shut the fuck up.

How empowering.

That should have been the first clue, but it takes you

a while.

You're being fed all these signals from the world

that you should love this.

And it's like, why?

That's what it is. It's really society.

And I grew up in Colorado, in the Midwest. There was just like no gay girls, rarely even gay dudes.
Yeah. So was there like something in your brain? Like, I guess what I'm asking is, did you consciously know this to be true and buried it? Or was it something that like actually was an awakening at some point after you went through things? I think more of an awakening.
I don't ever try and bury anything, but that's probably like my conscious versus subconscious thinking. But it's like, I just hadn't seen an example.
Even still now, we don't see a lot of lesbians. Yes, like not on TV, not on anything.
So it's like, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be in love.
And I thought that I was going to be with a man, but it's like, I didn't want kids. So I'd pray every night that like, I know there's a God if I ended up with a man that didn't want kids, but it's like such a blessing.
And at the end, I think it just all happened at the right time. Like I would go to bed and you know how you have kind of like subconscious thoughts right before bed.
I'd be like, what if I'm gay? What if I tell my family I'm gay? Like what's going to happen? So I think, and I was like such good friends with a lesbian, like the coolest lesbian, only one I've ever met as a nurse. So I think there's probably a big emotional attraction, but I just didn't know it.
Like the whole unit was like, are they dating? And I'd like, I would never take it personal. I'd be like, you know, I'm like, that's so funny.
But like, she didn't push, which was so nice. You'd never like hit on me, came on to to me we just had like the best friendship yeah yes and that's how i think robbie and i are like people are like oh to be a fly on the wall normally i'm like it's gonna be boring as fuck but like with her and i it's like i think it would actually be fun to be a fly on the wall of course it would everyone is like everyone's rooting for you guys thank you truly i hope you feel that i do she's like she's just the best.
She is who she is as you see rooting for you guys. Thank you.
Truly. I hope you feel that.
I do. She's like she's

just the best. She is

who she is as you see her like on camera

in the public and at home. She's

so naturally just herself. Wait.

Oh my God. You know what I'm remembering right now? You were

at our friend Greta's New Year's Eve party.

Yes. Were you guys there? No.

We weren't but I was supposed to go

and I remember like later she was like oh my God Robbie

brought Gabby and I was like oh my God that would have been such a such a New Year's vibe. Us with our NAD and champagne.
Literally. Yeah.
Oh my God. And NAD.
Yes. Sharing.
Squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt, squirt. Back to the throat.
And that's great too when you can have a partner that like has like cool, interesting friends too. Totally.
You know, it's like sometimes it's hard when you're dating someone and you look a little bit past it and you're like, would I want to hang out with them in the community that they belong to? But that's like a really cool thing that you found. She has the coolest community.
She's just like the coolest. She's an industry darling.
Like everyone we hang out with is like pretty prominent. I'm like, babe, I don't know if I can't, what am I going to say? No, they're probably obsessed.
Oh my God. It's just something I can't wrap my head around, but she's always wanting to double with EPs of networks.
I'm like, babe, go fuck yourself. But it's like, I load up on propanamol on NAC.
Come on, baby. You can lift the emotional car.
Gabby, you're at a point now where it's like, people mean, people at work, like everyone at SNL is like, oh my God, like, like Gabby Wendy, like, like, what a fucking legend. Like everyone is like, it's just like, you're very easy to adore.
Thank you. It means the world.
Yes. On like a mass scale.
It's like within offices. It's just like, oh my gosh, like, Robbie Hoffman came the other week and like, was Gabby with her? Oh, no.
I don't like, it's just, you figure into the conversation in that way organically. Oh my God.
Thank you. You have no idea what it's doing for my confidence.
I have, I have crazy imposter syndrome and pretty much before medication, just like zero confidence. It's hard.
It's hard to, I think, especially when you're someone who's like, you know, obviously very aware of pop culture. Like you knew what it it is you were walking into and then all of a sudden I can imagine that it would be really fucking crazy to be in the car at the bachelor and they're writing you up and all of a sudden it's like oh I'm doing this thing that a lot of people are going to be watching, picking apart scrutinizing, talking about and you've probably seen all different sides of it because like you've probably been at any given point, like the hero, the villain, the neutral person, the person who doesn't feel they're on camera enough, et cetera.
Like in positions where, you know, you're in a position of tension on live television, et cetera. Like the three shows that you've done and then like everything surrounding it, it's such a wide variety of experiences that how can you feel possibly comfortable when it's always changing? Yeah.
Outside of it being high profile. Yeah.
So true. I feel like I'm definitely at a different stage right now.
Like at first after Bachelorette, I think I like kind of realized how niche it was and how Bachelor Nation was and like stuff like that. And it was, it's not more, it's not more forgiving.
It's way less forgiving, but it's less serious. You know, people just like, don't take it as serious.
So we were doing press. We went on Kimmel.
We did all that stuff with Anthony Anderson. It was again, the D squad, but it's like, it's like him and Willie Geist, who's like, I joy Willie Geist is a joy He's the greatest but when you go on Kelly Clarkson You want Kelly Clarkson They went on Kelly Clarkson as one of the traitors And the host was Willie Geist And it's like I'm sorry but if you pull up to the Kelly Clarkson show You do want Kelly Clarkson's joyful superstar ass to walk out there and say, y'all, et cetera.
But Willie is king, of course. We love Willie.
This is where we're coming from. Exactly.
Beautiful eyes on him. Yeah, she was like, who is this guy? I'm like, this guy.
She's like, adore him. Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, okay. I understand.
But like was beyond stoked for Kelly Clarkson. Of course.
Of course. But we did GMA.
We did did all that for The Bachelor. For Bachelor, uh-huh.
And it just, it felt a little easier this time around. I feel like there's a lot more pressure.
Uh-huh. Because like more, especially since Traders is an industry show.
Sure. You know, I'm like, damn, there's really eyes.
Yeah. It's gonna get any ease.
It's gonna, you know. Yeah.
Like I have to show the fuck up. Yeah.
So I hope I get more comfortable. I think I will.
But yeah, it's like a different kind of fandom. It feels, which is amazing.
But also like scary. Because when too many people like you, it's like the loyalty thing.
It's like, fuck, what's going to happen if I have a bad take? I tried out a bad take last night at dinner with my new agent and my manager. What was the take? Can you try it out on us? I'll tell you after.
Yes, yes. I tried it out.
It was like we were talking conspiracy theories and I'm like, well, yeah, you guys, now I'm a this and the room fell silent. I'm like, I'm not going to lie.
I did not love that reaction. I'm going to backtrack.
This wasn't what I was expecting. They're like, no, that's a bad.
Don't say that in public. They're like, no, that's a bad take.
I'm like, you know what? You got to try. You got to try.
I got to see. This is, thank God I tried it out with you instead of like on the pod.
But I was this close. Fine.
I was next episode. I was going to do it.
So like, thank God. Pulling the trigger.
Like, this is the thing with the shows you've been on. It's an industry show with traders, but like people who respond to you will then find their way to something that is completely in your own voice, which is long-winded, which is going to be the podcast.
And then they're getting to know the full real version of yourself. I kind of feel that way about SNL being like a portal into this.
You know what I mean? So like, it's all good. But it's crazy making though to like be in that open exposed sort of plan and just be like, okay, I'm like, I'm getting, it feels like you're getting slings and arrows from all sides.
Yes. Yeah.
Who among the four girls and girls would be, would come out if the show were still on? As gay. Oh yeah, who's gay? Probably Hannah.
Yeah, definitely. I feel like she always kind of read as bisexual or I feel like Marnie because she's so repressed.
Right. Yeah, Marnie.
I don't think Marnie was a joyful thing about Marnie is she's like, will never change. I think that was the thing that I loved most about the end of the show was I was like, Marnie is that girl that we all know from our 20s.
That's just never going to change. Maybe she never had a chance.
Maybe she's in denial. But she is definitely that girl who at least is trying out girls because like it becomes a thing that she's curious about.
Yeah, because she's doing her research. She's a Taurus.
Yeah. I feel she's going to like or maybe what is the other one that I'm forgetting? Aries.
No, a Virgo. The other.
Aries and Virgo, they speak to one another. Yes.
Like the earth sign, they have a list and they're checking it twice and they want to make sure that everything is like perfect and that they've done their research. Wait, what are you? Twinsies.
Pisces, Scorpio. Oh my God.
That's why we did that. Yes, Scorpio.

Scorpio.

Yes.

Yeah.

Pisces, man, I feel like they get like, is the jury out?

No, I love it.

We love a Pisces.

I think so too.

We've got a lot of Pisces.

I do like a Pisces.

I feel like they're just themselves and emotional.

Yeah, we are.

I would go ahead and call myself a little high maintenance.

Yeah.

But it's okay.

Yes.

I need a lot from the people that are in my life, but I think that they love me for it.

But you're lovable.

Yeah, I try.

Yes.

I'm sorry. myself a little high maintenance.
But it's okay. I need a lot from the people that are in my life but I think that they love me for it.

But you're lovable.

Yes, yes.

But I also know I understand how I can be.

Yeah, at least you're in on it.

It took a long time.

But what are you? I'm a Capricorn.

Me, Boston Rob, Carolyn,

Dolo,

and Sierra. Can you believe? Five Capricorns onorns on this cast yeah and Capricorns are like rare I love Sierra got did so dirty I love Sierra I love Sierra me too she's so hot gorgeous she's so fucking hot it's crazy it's crazy her eyes like everything like I would you know what I mean it's that kind of thing where it's just like, it pushes the boundaries of like homosexuality.
It's like that we might be able to cross over. But then again, my thing with ever trying it with women is it's like, I just respect them too much.
I don't want them to have a bad time. Me too.
Don't ever try to have a bad time because I can't promise a good time. Guys out there, I can make sure we have fun.
Yeah. Girls, it's like, do your thing.
Be free. That's so sweet.
That's the best take ever. And like gay guys that were closeted were like, yeah, I'm gonna hook up with a girl just because.
Our gay friends are like, I used to hook up with girls. I'm like, even when I was like really wanting to fit in and wanting the approval of my straight friends, I just could never put another like a girl in my my high school in that position.
Wow. Ever.
Because I was just like, I just don't feel comfortable flopping. Oh my God.
That is, yes. I like how it's still self-interest at the end of the day.
Ultimately, I don't want to flop, but also I don't want you to have a bad time. Like that would humiliate me.
Is that the Pisces man in you? I guess. Definitely.
Yeah, right? I'd have to look look it up i'd have to really get into it but i'm also what does this mean is this is this pisces when you're in high school don't fuck girl because ultimately self-interested by yeah you'd also don't want them to have a bad time rather be friends and ai's like yes or AI's like what AI's like, yes. Or AI's like, what? AI's like, I'm learning from you.
We're filling in blanks. What's Robbie? She's a Sagittarius.
She's a double Sag and a Libra. Great.
Oh, that's good. She's amazing.
She's the life of the party. Effortlessly funny, obviously.
No, it's time for Robbie to come on. Oh, you guys got to have her on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah, we'd burn the world.
She's so cultured. Yeah, she is.
She introduces me to like a ton of culture. She's amazing.
What's the thing that Robbie brought to you that you're now obsessed with? Everything. Yeah.
I mean, she's helped me. It's like she has introduced me to culture but i do have taste i gotta give myself

some credit she has amazing taste too um but like art i never really appreciated art before definitely designer vintage ruined my life now like obviously i'm obsessed she loves she's such a good shopper movies her mom was really cultured and like only just put on amazing movies like well-directed,

like just appreciated that.

I love to read so like books she's telling me all of her mom's favorite books and like american classics i'm like joan didion i did catcher in the rye love sylvia plath like i've just never read him before i could take or leave catcher in the rye for sure what's that guy's nameD. Salinger.
Yeah, he's a pervert. Then we watched the documentary and I'm like, okay, well, don't love this, but obviously love the women writers.
Do you see the Joan Didion documentary? The Center Will Not Hold. No, but now I'm obsessed.
She's such a good writer. We love LA.
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All right, it might be time for I Don't Think So Honey. It's time.
So we've reached the point in the show where we take 60 seconds each to absolutely destroy, pummel, and make feel bad something in culture that deserves all those things. I feel like I may have done some variation of this before, but I don't know what it was about the YouTube wormhole I was in earlier, but I need to say it again.
I don't think I've taken this angle. I don't think you have.
You were vetting this with me earlier. This is Matt Rogers.
I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.
I don't think so, honey. Not enough brutal deaths to villains in children's films.
I'm talking about Disney anymore. If I have to watch one more movie where the villain is yourself, I'm going to fucking lose my shit.
Kids need to fear death. And they need to understand the brutal reality and consequences of your villainous behavior.
Please pull up, I'm sure on streaming, Disney+, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Look at what happens to Froyo.
The man, Claude Frollo. Frollo.
Frollo. 30 seconds.
He falls over Gorgel and goes into lava. Half of these villains died in lava.
Miss Mama from Princess and the Frog gets dragged to hell deservedly for his villainous behavior in The Princess and the Frog. Ursula stabbed

to death in the middle of the ocean. We can only imagine

she sank to the bottom. And

don't even talk to me about Scar, who

was ripped apart by the hyenas.

And I was made better as a result because I

have fear and I know consequence.

I don't think so, honey. These flop

ass new Disney movies and the flop

ways in which villains don't

even exist. And that's one minute.

That was amazing.

Thank you, because I'm just saying like, it's like, and also don't get clever with me. Don't get cute with me.
No. Frozen, where it's like a secret villain who like, what, who even cared? What even happened to him? Did he die? In two? In one.
No, two, I don't even acknowledge his culture. One, he gets kicked out of the kingdom.
Nothing bad happens to him. It's like, oh yeah, how brutal.
Exactly. I'm not such, I love, I'm like, I could barely keep up, but yes.
Yeah. I just want, all I'm saying is it's like, if you're trying to protect kids, that's a problem.
Yeah. I agree.
We need more violent reality in Disney films. They're supposed to be exposed to like pathogens.
You know what I mean? Totally. To build up their immune system.
Yes. The vaccine being watching a man burn to death because he was mean to the princess.
Yes. Don't do that.
And he deserves to die. Yeah.
I know you're with me. Literally.
Yes. Okay.
So there we go. Think about that one.
True on that. Bowen Yang, do you have an I Don't think so, honey, on today? I do, I do.
That's perfect and glorious. This is Bowen Yang's I don't think so, honey.
His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Wireless, cordless, Bluetooth, anything. We've reached the critical mass of things.
I don't need to be waving my mouse from across the damn room of the computer screen anymore. Look at that.
Look at that right there. Can we get camera coverage of the mouse with the cord? That is anchored to something.
I know it's going to work. I don't have to switch a switch on and off and then wave it around to wake it up and then have the Bluetooth connection connect to know that it will work.
I need the cords to be an insurance policy in their own right so that therefore I don't have to figure out, go into my settings and click into Bluetooth and click into connect or disconnect and reestablish the connection. We have put up with too much for the sake of what? Convenience of decluttering of our hatred of wires and strings and connection? No, bring it back.
Abandon AirPod, embrace tradition. Go back to the corded ear pods of yours.
And that's one minute. And also there's no one better at hiding cords than him.
Well, that's what I'm like. I don't know if I can get behind this because the hatred of the cords is so real.
Yeah. That's only if you have so many of them.
You just edit the cords that you must have in the house. Well, first of all, that was amazing.
You sold me. I want cords everywhere.
Thank you. Come on.
Here's the thing. You were the one that taught me about the thing you put on the wall to put the cords in them.
Yes. Cord management.
Cord management. I've got little bins next to the outlets and then you put your power strip, your surge protector in that.
Have all the cords sort of hide within that little box, and it looks like you don't have cords in the house. Incredible.
And it does work better. It does.
Because literally there's no question as to what could be going wrong. It's like, oh, it's not plugged in, or I need a new cord.
With the wireless of it all, it could be anything. A million things.
It's an amorphous problem that changes. Why am I not connecting? Why? Yes.
And you feel frustrated. You feel crazy.
Literally. I'm like, is it me? Do I have to take this into that? Where's there? There's no tech shop that'll come in and troubleshoot any kind of tech equipment.
Like, what about my Bose? What about my JBL pill? Yeah. What happened? I cannot charge it anymore.
Where do I take this? I know it's not broken. Yeah.
You out of luck. Literally.
So cords. We're back on cords.
And for this to be coming from you too, someone that I believe embraces technology and progression, I think if there's one thing about Boen Yang, it's that he embraces technology and progression and moving forward because you always have the newest stuff. You're gadget king.
I'm like hairpin turning now because it's just like, oh, this is not necessarily a good thing for me or the world. When it all burns down, what then? My thing is like, if the wireless were to go down, which we could get into the conspiracy theories, but like, is this our bad take? Like we should all just like be preppers.
You know what I mean? No, totally. I 100% agree.
Like I want to be able to live off the grid completely. Absolutely.
I'm getting dual citizenship to Canada because Robbie, I know. Oh my god, that's amazing.
Yes, we're fleeing. The weather's terrible.
I'd rather go to Florida, which should be its own country. But it's not the people there are its own demo.
Yeah, it's true. You know? There's like a map overlay all around North America of like the most climate safe place in North America is like Toronto, basically.
Yeah. I believe.
Like that part of Canada, like Midwest Canada. So, there you go.
Don't they also say though, like if you are nervous about things, go to Denver? That is crazy. I feel like that's where you go to have a midlife crisis.
That's where people are going to Denver. Be scared.
It's like high altitude and extremely liberal state. Yes.
High altitude. I could do a one minute thing on this.
High altitude is bad for your health. Okay.
Yes. Okay.
But do you want to do a thing on that or do you want to do a thing on somebody else? I have a different thing. Okay.
This is a perfect segue. Okay.
All right. Yes.
We're going to put one minute on clock. What's the intro? I don't think so, honey.
we're gonna put one minute on clock what's the intro I don't think so honey okay alright this is Gabby winning side I don't think so honey your time starts I gotta close my eyes like you just close your eyes your time starts now I don't think so honey the yes girl what are we doing no I am a no bitch yes do you want to go to Abba night at Ackbar on Saturday? No bitch. I'm sorry.
I like Meryl Streep. Yes, I just cannot get into the musical theater.
I'm so sorry. Okay.
I love. Okay.
Abba. I don't know if I can get into their music.
I love their history. I love incestual.
How incestual they are. Yes, yes.
But I'm not going to leave the house on a Saturday. No, because what about an opportunity? I want an opportunity to get Remsley.
Yes. I'm not going to leave the house on a saturday no because what about an opportunity i want an opportunity to get rem sleep i'm not going to do anything i'm not going to meet the love of my life even though i did meet robbie on an opportunity night out use your critical thinking yes i've stayed in for so long what do you mean a yes girl we've been gaslit again and again and again what am i gonna do fly to thailand It's going to get lost in the ocean.
I have no budget. I'm staying in hostels for three weeks and jet lag.
No. And that's what it meant.
No, bitch. That's no bitch.
Yeah. 100%.
Also, the thing about Akbar, and this is a roller coaster, you can't sleep there. It's roller coaster number 30.
The thing about Akbar, you can't sleep there. Can't get good REM.
Opportunity nights. Yes, no opportunity night.
But no, but the real opportunity night is getting REM sleep. Yes, exactly.
So you can be your full self. Yes.
What am I? No, these tequila sodas are not getting me anyway, especially at Ackbar, it's largely gay men. There's no opportunity waiting for me, I guarantee you.
Not when I make my own. Right, exactly.
Yes. What was the opportunity night that you met Robbie what was the opportunity night that's what I think like critical thinking unless you want to unless you don't want to be a yes girl you know when it's like just say yes why why if I don't want to do it I'm not going to make myself do something I don't want to do but at this point I was a new lesbian and I wanted to scissor so I didn't't have to be a yes girl.
I was just like, yeah, it was my idea. Right.
Exactly. I think Shonda Rhimes wrote a whole damn book about being a yes girl.
And it kind of ruined it for a lot of people. The self-help part of our culture is like how it's been pushed on us is awful.
If you find yourself in the self-help aisle, get yourself a psychiatrist, Lamictal 200 MG. Like, 200 MG seems high.
It is. I had to, I had to up and up and up and up.
You don't need to literally question whether or not this is healthy because again, as a medical professional. Literally.
Yes. And I go to a psychiatrist and she's actually very like timid conservative with me wait you you've talked about

this on the pod yeah she's the best i always show up on our facetimes and i'm like i upped it again i didn't get this passed by you but i full disclosure and i've been getting xanax from mexico so either you prescribe me or i'm gonna go back to mexico exactly and she's like fuck This guy knows the ins and outs.

Yes.

She's an opportunity bitch.

A no bitch, an opportunity bitch. No, I'm with you.
I'm a no bitch. Yeah, it's okay.
It's okay. Yeah, like we have different interests and we should be able, I'm like so scared of telling my friends, like I'm not interested in ABBA.
Like come on. But you just told me that And I took it great.
But you're not asking me to go. Right.
Like with the intention of me saying yes. If you knew I was going to say no, it'd be different.
Like, but because then I could freely. But now I'm like, fuck, I still have to walk on eggshells, but I can't get anymore.
I love Akbar for the people that it's for, which are people in their 20s. Like, honestly, gay guys in their 20s, queer people in their 20s, like rock out at Ackbar.
For me, it's just like it does get a little too crowded. And that's, I will fully call out myself, me progressively becoming a no bitch as I get older.
But I need to go to the spaces that are a little bit more airier. You're high tops, low spieless.
Like if you're going to see me out, you'll see me there just because I can like breathe and like... High Tops Los Felis is roomy.
It's nice.

I can spin in a circle if I so desire. This is the second time

I've heard of it. I've never been.
You'd be

a huge success there. You would

get mobbed, but... Okay, yeah.

I love that, honestly. Okay, good.

Then go. Yeah, I'm like picture.

You'd be a

massive success at High Tops Los

Felis and they can use

this clip for social. Yes.

Oh my God, wow. We approve this message.

Yes. And buy Gabby a free Thank you.
a massive success at High Top Soles and they can use this clip for social.

Yes.

Oh my God, wow.

We approve this message.

Yes.

And buy Gabby

a free,

get Gabby a free drink

if she ever stops by.

But not a tequila soda.

Not a tequila soda.

Not a tequila soda.

A light,

organic orange.

No sulfates, please.

Yum.

Light, organic orange.

No hangover.

It's easy to metabolize.

Oh, orange wine

really is the one. Yeah, it's an LA thing everywhere I go.
Like in New York I'm like this is so LA of me do you have a natural wine and they're like fuck no I'm like perfect I'll go fuck myself is your favorite restaurant Great White I love Great White I like Great White do you?? Yeah. You basic bitches.

Oh my God.

The one on Melrose.

Great White. I go to the one on Larchmont.

Thank you very much.

Like the true queen.

No, I love Larchmont.

The true Marnie.

Yes.

Marnie is literally a hostess at Larchmont.

You're with your tote.

You're at Great White.

And then you're going to go to the farmer's market.

That sounds like a lovely day.

Yeah.

It's a lovely day.

I know I love Larchmont. I'm going to Sam's bagels to be bad.
Yes. And the newsstand.
The newsstand. Yeah.
Oh my God. You go there.
You can people watch there. It's good stuff.
And then they have the green juice at what's it called? Go get them tiger? No. No, no, no, no.
What's it called? Oh God, come on. Press juicery.
Press juicery. I fucks with the press juicery.
Yes. I am Marnie.
You are. And loud and proud.
Yeah, no, since they won. What is that karaoke that she did? Stronger.
At the birthday party? Was it, or it was Hannah something? Uh-huh. Was it, am I getting it wrong? Wait, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, it was Kanye West.
Stronger. Oh, Stronger.
Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes.
One of the most iconic moments in television. Oh my God.
It's amazing.

I'm doing the girls rewatch.

I keep telling myself this once every other month,

but it's happening.

I did it two years ago when like everyone was doing it,

but I would honestly do it again.

It's so good.

That pilot though, flawlessly written.

The first scene, Hannah's first line,

I'm a growing girl.

For her first scene to be stuffing her face

in front of her parents

to the last scene in the finale where she is getting latched onto by her child yeah it's so such a perfect it's incredible I mean and she was so young writer director star yeah I know the jury's out but that was we love Lena okay I honestly think Lena Lena got a bad rap because xyz like think peace here but like I mean obviously a lot of mean, obviously a lot of it was, like, you know, her being messy. But, like, isn't that what we loved about the characters that she was creating? We're still talking about it.
Yeah, yeah. It's, like, it will never, we'll never forget about it.
It will never, it's always going to be relevant. Yeah.
Like, and her just, like, genius, how talented she is. Yeah.
And, like, a way to portray it in such a real way. Like, she just let her Nepo hang out, right? She really did all of them, right? In the beginning of the scene.
Yes, I'm like, this is so real for like people this age. Like, dad, I need a hundo.
I cannot eat. Weren't her parents in one of those places in New York that's like they was given a discount because they were artists? I think so.
It's like something, yeah, it's called something where they were like true artists. so they were able to get some kind of a discount because they were artists.
I think so. It's like something.
Yeah, it's called something where they were like true artists so they were able to get some kind of a discount on their rent. As they should.
Exactly, which like only New York would support. Right.
That's what we need. And only America would stigmatize.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yes, so true.
Here we are. Here we are.
Red, white, and blur. Red, white, and blur to long winded that's actually that's a rule of culture number 40 here we are red white and blur you're a fucking legend you better remember that you are both of you you have to come back to the show please no would literally love I would do this you must like anytime you must this fun.
Housewives, I love to talk about. Yes.
Everything. We barely scratched the surface.
We didn't even itch it. Atlanta's back.
I gotta catch up. I've never watched Atlanta.
Should I? It's so worth it. Okay, good.
And also, the way they've rebooted it, like now Shamia is the star, and I think it like suits her. These words mean nothing to you, but they will.
Yes, I'm hanging on. What season should I start with? One.
Okay, yeah. One or? One is Nini.
I mean, Nini Leakes and Sheree and Kim Zolciak. Like you really kind of can't do better.
Yeah. It needs to be a linear experience, but I started with, was it six? Was it, was who said that six? No, that's eight or nine.
Eight or nine. There was a season that Nene wasn't on, which was like...

Explosive.

It was the first ever

four-part reunion

because if something happens

in the reunion

that is so crazy,

actually involving

traitor Phaedra Parks

that I think got her

the traitors

was the way she acted

on this season of Atlanta.

Wow.

So this actually relates to you.

And I heard Phaedra

was maybe going to be dropped

or was she?

And then now she's back. She's now back.
Because it didn't work out on Married to Medicine. And I heard Phaedra was maybe going to be dropped or was she? And then now she's back.
She's now back. Exactly.
Because it didn't work out on Married to Medicine. Who? But Long Winsed is the pod.
Traders is the show. So I guess a little bit late to do a spoiler.
Gabby does win. But a very fun watch nonetheless.
I mean, this has been so fun. So fun.
Thank you guys so much for having me on this is huge oh my god everyone's like oh my god no this is this is major for us and we end every episode with a song ooh you can dance you can dive having the time of your life see that girl

watch that scene

take in the dancing queen

say my love Abba

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