Side Stories: Annabelle Rides Again

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There's no place to escape to this is the last

on the left.

Side stories?

That's when the cannibalism started.

Side stories.

Yes.

So someone gave you

two

cassette tapes of

the pan flutes.

Yeah.

I actually took them home and I listened to the pan flute tape

when I was in the shower because I like to listen to my tapes when I'm in the shower.

Sure, and um, it was great.

They had a pan flute version of We Got Tonight, that's amazing, and I was like,

I was like,

I was a feeling I would take a lot of the drama out of that, oh, for sure,

that's yeah, that's all pan flutes.

Actually, it's making me angry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The idea of doing that, like, how sad you'd have to be sitting there at a kiosk in the mall listening to a fake Negative American play his electric pan flutes just like this.

Yeah, I kind of liked it.

But this is fine, but it doesn't, it definitely doesn't make me horny.

No, definitely doesn't make me horny.

Only reason I enjoy it is because I was in the shower when I was listening to it.

Oh, sure.

And I feel like pan flutes are

really at their core shower music.

Oh, yeah, I could definitely see some pan flutes gently playing in the background as Julie scrapes the barnacles off your underside with a big hook,

you know, spraying you with various, I guess, antibacterial foam.

We got to get those orcas out of the thing in France.

Yeah, you mentioned it finally.

And yes, I have returned.

Welcome to Side Stories.

I missed you.

It's good to be back.

My name is Andrew Zagrowski.

I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

I am recently aggrieved, but now I have completed grieving.

Oh, yeah, it's over.

You're just good now.

Done.

All right.

Well, you know what?

How I know George Went's dead.

Oh, I know.

I know.

And I work with him.

He's one of the first celebrities that I can even say.

I can finally have one of those where I worked with George Went.

I hung out with George Went for several days.

He was very ill at the time, it seemed.

He was somehow younger than my father when he died.

He had to be.

He looked rough.

He looked really rough.

But George Wendt was a comedy hero of mine.

Of everybody.

and he was wonderful in person he said a bunch of stories I can't repeat which is the best thing you can say about really an old time

matters anymore there's still I'm his you know there's still family out there there's still family out there yeah you know and I feel like it's the type do you think he was able to have sex and have children I think yo yeah he had before

I mean he's always been huge but when he was just straight up norm forget he was 35 you can still push up wild to me well that that drives me crazy.

I thought he was at least 50 in that show.

No, dude, no, he was younger than us.

But you know what?

I will say, you really are putting a lot of it's just on the woman.

When it comes to George Went, if you're going to have sex with George Went, just know he's going to be on the bottom and you're going to have to ride him because that's how it's going to get.

If you want to come at all, you're going to have to ride him and you're going to have to pump him full of sialis.

But unfortunately, not anymore because now he's a corpse.

But great actor, great friend, great father.

No.

I also want to say, you know how I know actually I'm not done grieving?

Okay, let me hear it.

One of the biggest things that came out of me in this, like, you know, sadness spiral, lost my father.

For those of you that don't know, it's not like he's not in the woods.

He's dead.

But my father is, my father passed.

And first of all, I just want to say big ups to the people over at Ho Spice.

They really did a good job.

They helped my father out.

I'm not even joking.

I do believe that a part of my father's positive reaction to his nurse was how stacked she was.

Yeah.

And

you manifested this.

Oh, honestly,

I don't want to give myself too much credit, but yes,

I believe I created this busty nurse that was an angel on earth that arrived and wiped my father and did all the things that he needed to do at the very, very end.

He's just like, ah.

Yeah, but

he wasn't fighting.

No.

Which I think before he was fighting because it was men.

And then all of a sudden we have this like lady where you can sort of see her nipples.

And now he's just open.

Polish broad?

It's just no, I don't think so.

No.

No, unfortunately.

No.

No, no, no, no, I wish.

The night nurse was also stacked, but that's different.

Yeah, the night nurse is always stacked.

That's why they keep her in the evening.

She got to be there.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, she wore lingerie.

I just thought it was kind of inappropriate.

Yeah.

But at the same time, slipped her 50.

You know what I mean?

Because it was like, thanks.

Thanks for everybody.

Thanks from everybody.

Do you want to lean over on my father a little harder, please.

If you could, give him a thrill.

It's the last one he'll ever have.

It might help him pass.

So, but what I realized, the reason why I'm still grieving

is that

we joke on the show all the time about

what happens when a guy loses something, he loses his family, he gets an becomes a hollow moon enthusiast.

If he loses his pension, he starts believing in flat earth and stuff like that.

And I found in the center of my grief, what brought me quite a bit of comfort was the Jeffrey Epstein story.

Oh, yeah.

And I've now been reading, I just know what it is.

It's childhood's story.

Was it like him as a boy?

It's tales of his childhood.

It's all about, oh, little Jeffrey Epstein and his many businesses.

Even as a kid, he somehow flipped a fucking, like...

He obviously was pimping, but the main thing was a lemonade stand.

But he had the girls behind the stands.

Filling it with piss.

Oh, yeah.

And that's how you know.

Because again, he's making his own lemonade.

Yeah.

And that's called producer's juice.

Oh, and that, which is what I have here today, I learned that from the P.

Diddy trial.

Producer's juice, just a little bit.

Is that coffee?

No.

That's hot pee, baby.

Oh,

that's a hot, hot, hot pee.

Because that's what I learned from the, also from the P.

Diddy trial this week: is that if you're producing and you ain't making people drink pee, you're not P.

Diddy.

I mean, his first name is P.

But I did not know it stood for P P.

You know, like, I did not know.

I thought it said for precocious diddy.

We all know what the R and R.

Kelly stood for.

Now we do.

Now we do, don't we?

At least it wasn't C, because if he was P.

Kelly, he'd be Pooh Pooh Kelly.

But he did his fair share of Peanke.

Oh, he did.

And Chuck Berry.

And they really like it.

They really like it.

But I have been reading the book by,

she might be listed as a controversial person now.

I'm not quite certain.

Whitney Webb, that was an investigative journalist, that wrote two 850-page volumes about the various business connections of Jeffrey Epstein and the various intelligence connections that he had.

And I'll tell you what, it is a laugh-a-minute.

Yeah.

And it's the funniest book I read since Norm McDonald's last book.

What were they saying?

Was he involved with, I don't know, China?

We got to educate Ed Lorrison a little bit on this.

No, I don't want to do this too because when we went to the, we were at Cruel World Festival this weekend and right before, I was on the right amount of mushrooms and rock star energy drink to info.

I was like full-on info dumping on Marcus about Lucky Luciano, the connections of the OG,

Mafia Phi families and CIA and the or the whole like the naval intelligence units that were using mobsters in the 1940s to rat out Nazi secret agents in the unions of New York City, which is a movie in and of itself that I can't fucking believe that I have never seen.

It's called Operation Underground.

It's completely real.

That's very cool.

Yeah, it's fucking, they went, they brokered relations.

So this is one of the beginnings of when we were in the whole MK Ultra Michigash where the CIA and the other intelligence agencies were using open criminals to help suss out what they said was spy activity.

So the mob hated the Nazis?

Mob hated the Nazis.

Even though the Nazis and the Italians were in bed together?

Well,

the OG Italians, not American Italians.

Yeah, yeah.

American Italians hated the Nazis at the time.

But now, obviously, they seem to really like them.

But before they were

in time.

Ah, time.

But yeah, that's like, but it's very similar to the reason why I even bring it up is because the Epstein activity and the Diddy activity was all extremely, extremely close.

And again, the...

They had to have known each other.

Maybe, but it seems the main difference was the fact that Jeffrey Epstein definitely was a member of the intelligence community.

And so you can kind of see this, but this book is like, I mean, it's thick.

Ours or Masad?

Both.

Wow.

Both.

And then he was working for both.

And it's more just like, can we have a good kind of even keeled conversation about the mossad did you not to be this guy but did you check out the bibliography can't this chick just write whatever she wants what do you mean did you i mean what did what was her sources oh no this is it's huge it's really just she's doing a good job of just presenting facts and just like trying to figure out what was jeffrey epstein's job how the fuck did he have money and on one hand it seems that he did quite a bit of some form of investing and working with billionaires but on the other hand if you work for the intelligent agencies, as we could see with one of my favorites, Marjorie Taylor Green, that if you get inside information about what the government's going to do and what other world governments are going to do and how they're going to either regulate their businesses or inside bullshit from other businesses, you can make a lot of money in the stock market.

So that was his on the book's money?

His, well, it's all over the place.

So this book is charting all of it.

And you can see it's quite complicated.

Of course.

It would have to be.

It's called One Nation Under Blackmail.

I can't really.

One Nation Under Blackmail.

Honestly, he left that.

He's leaving money on the fucking table.

Whitney Webb is somebody that I honestly, I don't know how else to recommend any of the things that she's done, but this is it's thick.

And if you want to become an extremely difficult person to talk to, especially when you were in a kind of mixed mood, read that book because that is what Marcus was like my hostage.

This is how you mourned your father.

Oh, oh yes of course this and watching various uh i watched a lot of cops i watched a lot of uh my you know my my normal body cam footage and i as i'm gonna show tonight live on the stream uh you won't see it until it comes to youtube i'm gonna show some of the other things that really did help me pass the time oh well that's good

but otherwise it's great and god you know there just need to be more big crazy tented nurses out there that are ready to do the work.

Amen.

Hey, man.

Give me.

I feel like if you have really big breasts, you should get a discount at nursing school.

That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

But I also want to reach out.

I got so many different e-cups.

Free.

Wow.

Yes.

Free.

You're a doctor.

You're a doctor now.

No, no, no.

You can't have them be a doctor.

Big Tended Doctor.

Well, Big Tended Doctor leaves the room too fast.

That's true.

You know, a nurse has to check.

Yeah, don't do a lot of the work.

Yeah, the doctor ain't rolling me over to make sure I don't get sores.

No, not unless, again, you're paying them directly.

I wish that I got, I want to also say thank you to all of the various nurses that reached out to me.

I have a lot of friends.

Olga.

Oh, yeah.

Olga, Petunia,

Minoda.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just love each one of them.

But I got reached out to by a lot of people that have, like, internet friends of mine that are in the nursing industry.

And it takes a special.

type of angel.

Oh, for sure.

It's a calling that you're just not going to do.

I have a friend.

Because even though Jackie and I were trying to draw the straight straw, we were trying to draw the short straw to see who got to wipe daddy.

Did you not do it?

No.

I did.

I'd rather.

Not your father, mine.

I'd rather beat John Wick's dog.

I'd rather be.

Yeah, I would rather be

to not wipe my father.

I would have done anything.

Really?

I'll wipe anybody else.

You know, it's interesting.

Except for my mother.

I think my mother's slightly higher on the list of who I don't want to wipe.

Really?

But dad's real close.

And then the third one is old Papa Joe Biden.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Joe Biden.

He's going to have to be wiping him.

He's sitting on some rocks.

Yeah, poor fucker.

Hey, it's fine.

He's tired now.

We'll forget about him soon.

Oh, he already forgot about himself.

You know, while we're talking about death, my favorite internet dog died.

It finally happened.

Which one?

Sunday, the Black Lab.

God, help me.

It's so sad.

I know.

Now

I'm following Little bitties.

Little bitties and cheddarini.

How are they doing?

They're healthy, but that's a reason why I even chose them is because they're mid-age.

I think that, yeah, I think the next internet dog, I fall in love with puppy.

Yeah, I'm going to fall in love with a puppy.

Just sometimes, just be able to spend some time with it.

I'll keep the real dog death to my own home.

Yes, that's where you're comfortable with it.

Yeah, yeah, somewhere so I can be.

But also, before we move on past

everything that happened with Florida and stuff like that, I have to say you missed our shows together.

I know.

I was so sad.

I can't wait till we got to make it up.

We are going to everybody was so nice.

Everyone really cares about you.

It was really, it was kind of beautiful to see.

That's very nice.

But in Orlando,

you didn't show up and I got to eat your public sub.

I know.

And you like my order?

I liked it.

I didn't think I would, but

it didn't make sense to me when I was putting it in.

And then when I took a bite, I was like, oh, fuck, this is good.

It's not because the bread's healthier.

I like the five-grain Italian bread because it tastes better.

See, I've had, if you order just the wheat, it's a little dry.

That's pretty good.

But the five-grain Italian,

I wouldn't think to do that.

Very good.

Five-grain Italian is also the key to.

It's like, I don't like the iceberg lettuce.

I like a spinach.

See, I always, I'm addicted to shredded iceberg.

I love shredded iceberg on everything.

A thick iceberg, go fuck.

But shredded iceberg, I love it.

I wouldn't imagine straying.

I tried your spinach.

I couldn't believe how much I liked it.

I like it.

It also gets it in there.

It gets other little factors in there.

Little Publix.

It's really, yeah, that was really, really good.

Very impressed by your order.

Thank you.

And And I ate it at three in the morning, and so it was perfect.

Yes, good.

I'm glad I did.

Exactly how it did.

And the whole time I was like, this one's for Henry's dad.

No, and it's,

I, again, I just can't say thank you enough to everybody that reached out so nicely to me.

Yeah.

But again, I don't, I don't really need all the listeners and I don't need all the fans and I don't need the families.

I just need the truth about Jeffrey Epstein to really hold me.

Yeah, so

you could please send all of your Jeffrey Epstein theories to memes and memes to Henry's DMs and really flood that thing.

I barely check.

I go to sidestories LPOTL and gmail.com.

Please, anything Epstein-related, I'm into it.

Yeah, yeah, please, please keep him going.

I'm a real steamhead.

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And I will not be destroyed by these children that keep purchasing my businesses.

Yes, I have lost horsepicks.com.

And yes, currently I am in some form of tete-a-tete with Putin's daughter who purchased umupaintings.com.

So now, I'm a man alone who's decided I'm out of the sales business.

Yeah, I'm starting a new website.

It's called Henry Zabrowski'sfeet.com.

And that's because I'm sick of Wikipedia going out there and slandering my good name on my feet.

All right?

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Now, we have some updates, but before we get started, last puppy benefit on the left this Friday.

Just come and check this out.

Masonic Temple at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

This Friday, May 23rd from 7 p.m.

to 10 p.m.

Play with puppies.

Play with us.

We're going to have a great time.

I don't think we really even said that.

It has a full...

It's not an open bar.

It's an open pet.

Yes.

Puppy cocktail hour.

So the puppies are coming for an hour to be petted.

All right.

And they have a hard out.

Yeah, they got to get back to the river.

They immediately back thrown in the river.

The ones that you don't adopt.

The ones that you don't adopt are going to be immediately destroyed.

It's not immediately destroyed.

There's a basket that floats kind of well.

You're going to put it in the river and see how it does.

And that's the best part of it.

Then they can be kind of afraid a little bit.

Yeah, and it's the LA River, so there might not even be water in it.

So they might die of exposure.

So what I would say is, you've got to buy a ticket and you've got to come and you've got to adopt these dogs because if you don't again and this is not from us this is with this is from the organization they're gonna i i we try to beg them to not yeah wipe out the dogs that are left they are

not they're pups without borders and the borders are skin moral compass oh i thought it was skin and bones yeah snow but please come and check this out it is going to be it's going to be fun too because uh we've accidentally kind of guaranteed that we're going to do a full show yeah of all material that we'll never do before or after we have no idea what we're going to do there so you should come check that out yeah it's going to be wild i'm very excited so come on down to the masonic this friday uh may 23rd from 7 p.m to 10 p.m henry's drinking his his hot piss juice delicious piss god did you use the did you use the the community microwave for that

God, it's like I'm in the room with Kid Guddy.

All right, so I got an update, which this is a really good one.

Man with MS, multiple sclerosis, spent over $12,000 to be Gene Simmons Roadie with his 13-year-old son.

He got one.

Gene Simmons, we covered this before.

Yes.

This program, this championship or whatever, this tournament where you just give him $13,000 and you get to be a Roadie for a day.

$12,495

for the ultimate Gene Simmons experience, to be exact.

Do you think they yelled at him about the monitors?

Do you think they have him dragging stuff back and forth?

Because he had to bring his son.

He was supposed to be Roadie for a day.

He was Roadie for a day.

He helped with the load-in.

He was there for sound check.

They got to eat some Italian takeout with Gene Simmons.

And it wasn't even kiss.

And he's just like, you're going to want a Venmo request me for some of that ravioli you have there.

Right?

Just so you know, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Show his tongue.

Like, this is the best thing ever.

I'm so sick.

Dwayne Rosato and his son, Zach, paid $12,495 for the experience.

And that $12,000, there's no way that could have been better suited towards something with his syndrome, right?

So funny.

Dwayne said

he's the father who purchased it as a birthday gift for his son.

Even though it's clearly

his work.

Yes.

And you're all bringing him to work for Gene Simmons.

And Gene Simmons is probably being just being like, you have any idea how many people would pay to be my toilet?

Four.

I met four of them.

Oh, man.

Dwayne said, you only live once, and I want to experience light.

Life, I'm not going to take it.

I'm not going to die with a lot of money.

I'm going to die happy.

That's, I honestly, I do agree with that.

But his fucking kids sitting right there.

And he's just like, I could have used some of that money, father.

I feel like $12,000 might have helped towards me getting a used car or something, my dearest father.

Oh, apparently.

Is that him just watching Gene Simmons?

Yeah, is he yelling at him to work?

Hey, you gotta say, hey, hey, this is Tinny.

This is Tinny.

Get the sounds up.

Get the medium amps up.

Oh, my God.

Man, he looks so happy to be at work.

Yeah.

No, they're doing it.

They're wearing the gear, all that stuff.

Man, his son is embarrassed.

Oh,

he does not want to be there.

Maybe not.

Well, apparently, during their Italian food takeout from a local spot, Gene Simmons was regaling the boy of how he lost his virginity at 13 to a married woman along his delivery route.

Cool.

Wow.

I guess you're right, Gene.

It's cool to be raped.

Wow.

I never thought about that.

Did you guys ever write a song about that?

About how it's cool to get raped?

I actually rewrote several of those songs.

Back in the day.

Oh, yeah, just lovingly looking on at that 85-year-old man's 75.

Flat frog ass as he plays.

He's not even playing half the time.

Most of this shit's like piped in.

He's the bassist.

No offense to your bassists out there, but come on.

Well, especially, well, the kiss baselines are not necessarily...

He's no Robert Fripp.

You know what I mean?

Like, this isn't, what is it?

Crimson King.

Oh, King Crimson.

King Crimson.

I love.

Oh, that circus song is so good.

It is good.

The whole lizard album, get into it.

But

if he dies immediately, that'd be incredible.

Ooh, Gene Simmons or this guy?

This guy.

I don't think he's going anywhere.

He's got MS.

He probably could be around for a while.

Now he can't afford to die.

Now, I mean, he's spending all his money.

I think he was a cop.

Yeah, Guttrex.

You know, it's just the idea of giving him money to work is the most obnoxious thing where you really feel like you could, you probably could have ended up backstage if you just found where he drank and told him you were a huge fan.

Like, I really believe, and I want to put this out here to anybody, and this is including us here at Last Podcast and Let.

It's really easy to get backstage.

You really just have to either act sick, wear black, yes, wear black, if he just was like, IMMS, I'd love to see your guitar.

Someone's gonna let you in there.

No, I actually, it works better with just a head nod and confidence.

You don't think that, like, if you go and you tell all these people that you're sick, like, if I went up to, like, obviously not somebody like not somebody young like you're not gonna get back there with like a Taylor Swift or something but like I feel like if I walked up to Mario speed wagon

very approachable stand on stage yeah I think that if I went to the manager seminary free oh god if I went up there but I said that I even had a cold I'd be back there hanging out you know what I mean coughing all over the amps yeah and like this is the because again that's what generosity is or especially if you have big huge great tits it really helps it super helps.

And if you're an old person, but not as a guy, not as a man, though, unfortunately.

Yeah, you never know these days.

Well, yeah.

I, man, I wore that bra yesterday for the Goodpud Weed episode that's coming out, and I really did feel.

You put on a bra for

the weed episode?

Jackie and I are doing a new tradition where we're doing a switcheroo.

Okay.

So I had to dress like her.

And she had to dress like you?

Yes.

Oh, that's good for her.

And I had to go buy costumes.

So I went around.

Did you wear mesh?

No, I just got a dress.

I'm going to say it's hard to find a triple XL mesh.

And so I went out there and I found some stuff.

Like I'm not on the internet, but I went and found some.

And the people were so nice to me.

Like I was buying a dress and this lady was like, are you sure that this is your size?

And she was being so sweet, like obviously trying to help me, like my transition or whatever.

And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This is to make fun of women.

Like, this is like it used to be.

Yeah, I don't even understand.

This is how it used to be in a simpler time where a man would make fun of a woman by dressing at her and going, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I would never imagine this.

And she didn't even know how to react to that.

Yeah.

But then I explained to her, I'm grieving.

I have four more weeks of being deeply offensive.

Yeah, no, you do.

I thought you had almost four and a half weeks.

It's been a couple weeks since.

A couple weeks?

I've been told.

Oh, it's a matter of time.

Natalie keeps pointing to the calendar.

Wow.

She's remembering

this is your cut off yeah it is your cutoff this is your cut off you've been saying some grieving things because it's again i'm grieving

i think she should be supporting you during your grief she knows that if she supports me too much i won't be as offensive as i need she should be your brassiere

what do you mean well you're oh spiritually yeah your spiritual brassier

after wearing one for a half an hour Never again.

Really?

I don't think beer.

I think dis should be free.

You think so?

I know some ladies say apparently it's better to feel it.

You want to hike them up.

And I do feel like that too, in a way.

Well, I don't like boxer shorts for that reason.

Same thing.

I don't like.

I like boxer briefs.

I like giving them a little support to the boys.

Yes, I like hoist.

And I do understand that some people need hoist if they're going around.

It's what anybody's thrill is.

If they're big and sweaty and they might cause a rash.

No, it hurts.

I have lines on me.

My tits hurt and were hot.

You should have got a bigger sweat.

Look at my gunch.

Wow.

Wow, you look great.

No, I don't.

I mean, you look better than I thought you would.

You should put some stockings on, though.

I'll tell you that much.

No, I wanted people to see my Bavarian legs.

Jackie doesn't wear it.

See, you're good in heels.

Yeah, I can run heels.

I could run Jackie.

I could fucking run around Jackie in circles and heels.

People really don't know that about you.

Henry's better in heels than most women.

It's really surprising.

I'm pretty good.

Yeah.

Natalie saw it.

She was kind of shocked.

Speaking of, there was a, I wanted to do one other quick update.

I completely forgot about this.

Cool.

Let's hear it.

Joe Exotic from jail.

Oh, God.

So Joe Exotic from jail.

This update is pretty wonderful.

So he got married in jail to a Mexican gentleman.

That in a bid to get President Trump's attention for a pardon, he ratted out to ICE.

So his new husband, who was then released from jail, was immediately deported to Mexico.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Joe Exotic ratted him out?

Ratted the guy, his own husband out to ICE.

Oh, I didn't know that part of the story.

Yep.

Got him deported.

Now he's going to President Trump in the saddest series of tweets I've seen, which he still has access to.

It's really past time to have one of your people watch Tiger King Season 2, where they all admitted to perjury and plot to kill me on world television and let me out.

Now, I know you are not fond of my lifestyle, but I supported you.

Just allow me to go to Mexico with my husband.

Whoa.

So he's like saying

he's a tactic that he deported him to Mexico.

I'll tell you what.

So that he could go be with him in Mexico after the fact, according to Joe Exotic.

The private zoo sector in Mexico, I'm sure, is a little more loosey-goosey than ours.

Dude, I bet you they're not even, I bet you some of them are so private that they are public.

You know what I mean?

We're just free-range tigers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So Joe Exotic, rough day getting around.

The IS agents didn't understand why he got sent back so fast.

He had a a hearing scheduled for tomorrow.

Hey, Donald Trump, just let me go to Mexico and you can keep Carol Baskin.

You can keep her.

So

Joe

ratted out his husband.

Yes.

And did they get actual married?

Or is it just like, does he call him his husband?

That I don't know.

Here's another poster from Joe exotic.

Shouldn't he be allowed to stay?

No, not anymore.

They're getting rid of all the stuff.

So Joe exotic, you know, I could die tomorrow and

I could go knowing what true love was really all about.

Jorge gave me the most loving and devoted 10 months of my life.

I pray God will give me the chance to experience life with him again.

I went outside today and it was hard, but truly amazing how many people and gangs came up to me to check to see how I was holding up since he left.

You know, they all respected us because we weren't the typical gay people just causing drama and bed hopping.

They saw that we were real.

and serious about our devotion to each other, which is amazing that some of us are the worst of the worst that society has to offer.

Saw that in us.

Isn't that nice?

The prison could have been much harder about it, but you know, for the most part, I have to say, they were pretty cool about us being side by side every day.

We need to get some serious campaigns going to get Trump to let me go.

No matter where I am, I'm fine with Mexico or America, as long as I spend my last days with my Jorge.

Oh my god, just set him to fucking Panama.

Yep,

he just had to go both.

He's looking for, uh, he's was, he's angling on a pardon.

P.

Diddy's defense team is already angling for a pardon from Trump.

But don't they, aren't there state charges in there?

It doesn't matter.

They'll pardon the rest of them.

They can't part.

Yeah, but they're still going to be in there forever.

If they get to, well, those are the hardest charges to get on P.

Diddy.

The worst part about the P.

Diddy trial is the, it's, to be honest, it's so depressing.

It's extremely depressing to watch.

It's not a fun trial like the Lori Vallo Daybell trial.

It basically is

constantly asking you to ask the question of what's a victim and what's a co-conspirator.

And these women are getting torn apart on the stands, going up there selling spilling their whole lives, but they also like, they did technically say a bunch of different stuff to a bunch of different people.

And now, like, the hardest part is proving all the racketeering charges, which is this idea that P.

Diddy was doing this before a certain number of other criminalities.

Like he was doing, he was trafficking humans.

He was also selling drugs.

And he was, and you have to put it all together in one.

He very well may beat the state charges.

He might get other charges in there.

He might get a couple of years.

And then Trump can just lop it off the top because he's specifically taking money for pardon.

Yeah, racketeering takes a long time to prove.

It takes almost a decade to put together the case.

And they rushed this case.

Yeah.

They rushed this case.

So I have no idea what's going to happen until we have weeks left.

I want to say this is week two of the D.

Diddy trial.

And they said that

six weeks of

witnesses.

The prosecution has.

So that's going to be a lot.

But yeah, so that's the statement.

Someone else is fighting for a pardon.

Derek Chauvin.

Isn't that crazy?

Well,

he's still got state, and so he'll still have to stay in, even though.

He has got state one.

Yeah, he's got 20-year state charges.

Also, Derek Chauvin should be lucky he's in jail.

Yes.

Because I feel like he can be isolated.

That would be street justice.

I think that motherfucker would have a target on his back for the rest of his life, and that fucking piece of shit deserves it absolutely fuck him fuck derek chalvin i hope that i hope that they are chasing him around jail jetpop right now put him a jetpop get him come out get him um this one's kind of an update do you mind if i uh take one real quick sure um

so remember when i was talking about uh a couple probably like two or three months ago about um the haitian gangs that killed like hundreds of old people because they thought that they like put it that old people were witches and they put a curse on the on the gang member leaders.

Yes.

Kid.

Well, there has been retribution for this.

I haven't really covered the story as much as I wish I have.

But so a Haitian woman who had lost family members to violent criminal gangs took her revenge by poisoning 40 gang members with tainted empanadas.

So she straight up

killed

40 gang members with that and she'd been like out there they killed her family they said apparently what she did was that she was local she sold these things for i don't know how to pronounce it it's called like pates

yes yeah pate probably pates there's something it's like it's got a bunch of different it's got different it's essentially a haitian empanada yes it's an empanada which honestly i'm looking at them they look pretty good no i bet they're great i love an empanada and so she was known as a lady that would like serve the community she played it cool for months Oh, yeah.

That's that's a lady right there.

She played it cool for fucking months.

Oh, yeah, dude.

And then one day, she was just gave all the gang members free empanadas.

Oh, yeah.

She just rolled up with a bunch of free empanadas.

They were so excited to see it.

And so she filled it all with some form of insecticide.

Yes.

And then they all fucking vomited themselves to death.

Yeah, like full-on.

I tell you what, though, that is not going to

lessen the

suspicion of them being witches.

No, that's for fucking certain.

It's not going to make them nothing because that is a witch move.

Yes.

Well, they burned down her house and she turned herself into the cops.

Well, dude, that was the other thing, too.

She said that she ran to the police after she did it because she knew that she was a wanted woman.

Yeah.

Which is even like, you're just hoping for the best with that situation as well, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah.

They immediately burned her house down.

Yeah.

Yeah, so, I mean, this is just a crazy

crazy thing.

She killed 40 of them and they all died.

I mean, that is just fucking nuts.

No, that is,

even the fact that it worked out effectively.

Yeah.

It's kind of wild to me.

That you can actively poison 40 people correctly.

Most people don't.

It shows she really wanted it.

And that really, again, every time you want to say you can't.

You mean won't.

Yeah.

So

the gang members were of Viv Anzanum, Anzanum.

They're a Port-au-Prince gang affiliated with former policeman termed crime boss Jimmy Chazier, and he's also known as Barbecue.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

The guy's name, the bad guy's name.

The bad guy's name is Barbecue.

He's known as Barbecue, and then he burned down our house.

Yep, that makes sense.

I mean, technically, that sounds like that's kind of his M.O.

I imagine this woman ain't going to last long, unfortunately.

Well, they are deciding whether or not, I guess, to

charge her with anything.

They don't know what to charge her with, which is going to be murder.

But then it sounds like, well, she could end up being fucking the second she's in jail.

Is she going to be torn apart?

Probably.

She might have to be go away forever.

She might have to go to another jail.

I don't know what they do for people.

Send her to Canada.

Oh, wow.

I think that's the only option.

You can't send her here anymore, unfortunately.

No, no, no.

Yeah, so maybe like Canada can take her or something.

But

what will they do?

I think that's our best option.

We got to get this woman to Canada.

I think that, I mean,

it just sounds like, I mean, she's still a murderer.

She's a vigilante murderer for sure.

No,

she killed 40 people.

That is like, so that's like.

She straight up killed 40 people.

That's somebody you might want to keep an eye on.

Yes.

But she also got nothing to lose.

And it sounds like she finally dealt with something that needed to get dealt with.

Yes.

And also, I will say,

this is from, is a very loosely written article from Odity Central.

So there might be some flaws to some of the things that I said.

It's a short article, but I'm not 100% sure.

Oh, no, Eddie.

Don't question.

There's no way that this four-paragraph article from OddityCentral.com is completely insane.

There is no way that there is anything fake about it.

Okay, I refuse to acknowledge that.

But either way, a story is a story is a story.

Yeah, you know what?

We don't let the truth get in the way of a good story, Eddie.

Well, please, honestly, if you know more about this situation that's happening there,

stories, lpotl at gmail.com.

I'm deeply interested in everything that's happening there.

It has a terrorist

designation,

Vivon Somme.

Yes.

Is a part of the it's considered a

completely taken over.

Yep, that is a thing.

Well, also, the problem

truly now, too, is all what is all fucking messed up because we have the administration that we have and they are kind of obsessed with other people's gang activities.

So, yeah.

Well, we will see.

Oh, MS-13, that could have been the guy who bought the Gene Simmons pack for $13,000.

$13,000 RT.

That's his nickname.

That's probably what he called him all the time.

What was his name?

MS 13?

Get over here.

You got any more money?

I want to say him.

MS 13 grand.

Yeah.

Honestly, I kind of already spent the 13 grand.

Let's talk to one of our, I want to talk about one of our major stories today, Eddie, which is Annabelle is out there.

Yeah.

And Annabelle's causing fucking problems.

It's wild.

She's She's out there, man.

Lots of haunted doll stuff going down here.

Yeah, I do want to say, you know, I'm sorry I missed your Robert the Doll presentation yesterday.

This week.

No, it's nice to see him.

Hi, Robert.

You're looking good, buddy.

Thanks you.

Looking good fleet week, huh?

Yeah, baby.

It is fleet week.

And you gave him a little gift.

No, he has that.

That's his doll because Robert has a doll.

Yeah, that's right.

Oh, great.

I love Robert.

I feel so strong, to be honest with you.

Ever since I've made my connection with Robert, I feel like my life's been going great.

I feel like everything's up and going.

He's my new best friend.

And I don't have a current dog still alive.

Yeah, both of them are still going.

Yeah, you get, he's an ally.

Yeah, everything really has been great since Robert has entered my life.

Yes.

Except my father died.

Well, I mean...

That's for me, not for me.

That's your problem.

Yeah, it's different.

I'm very sorry about that.

No, but it is my problem.

It's Sunday the Black Lab and George Went died.

So that is

all of them.

That happens in threes.

That happens.

It does come in threes.

That does come in threes.

Just like at least it's over.

So in Corpito news.

So, Annabelle is on tour.

Yeah.

Jealous.

Apparently, she's doing Radio City musical.

But Annabelle's doll is on the Annabelle the Doll.

For those of you that don't remember, Annabelle was featured as the main antagonist from the Conjuring.

Everybody knows who Annabelle is.

They fucking don't treat them like children.

Every single time I don't describe it, someone's like,

and I don't know what he's saying.

Honestly, if you don't know who Annabelle the Doll is.

How'd you find yourself here?

Yeah, how did you find?

If you are still listening, turn it off.

Yes.

Just, we don't want you.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm done.

I'm done with you.

So, Ed and Lorraine Warren's occult museum.

Apparently, other items from it as well are gone.

Because it's fine.

Because it's closed.

Yes.

And, like, I think the Warren boy is taking it all around.

Yeah.

So one of them is getting one last bit of money.

But the issue was, which is that every ghost hunter said, you know, we have a lot of conflicting stories because I've talked to like the new Kirks and people that are now more in the newer versions of occult thought.

And the idea of cursed objects really holding any specific power anywhere is kind of like up to debate.

Deciding whether or not, like, is it your belief in it?

Is it someone's specific relationship with something?

Does it all come, is every single piece of paranormal activity coming from inside our brains?

Yeah.

Right.

And that thing is just like a focal point.

Who knows?

But every other ghost hunter said,

leave Annabelle alone.

When Annabelle is in what you say it is, it shouldn't be on tour.

It's like what they did to Amy Wynos.

What do you mean?

When they put her...

They worked her to death.

Oh, she worked.

She had a dark streak.

Oh, come on.

Worked her to death and she had a dark streak.

They worked Ralphie Mae to death.

She did too many drugs.

I mean, Ralphie Mae definitely,

did the

non-toxic aversion of what that lady did to all of the gang members in Haiti, where he died by empanada.

And I love Ralphie Mae.

He was a full-on appetizer victim.

And that's not his fault.

It's just where he got to.

He had problems.

He had problems.

He did that.

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So Annabelle is she's out there, right?

So now she's on tour, but because she's on tour, there's been a series of events that have been in the same area where Annabelle has been on tour.

Yeah, New Orleans.

Number one was the burndown of the Nottaway plantation, which was some big plantation.

Yeah.

It burnt down while she was there.

We couldn't.

I don't know if she had gasoline on her.

Yeah.

Bringing Annabelle down there is not a way to keep that thing standing.

No.

No.

I do.

Nothing.

How do you say this?

It's not that I

like

the concept and look of a plantation home.

Yes.

Go ahead.

You just did all the stuff with it.

Yeah, it comes with package.

I like the wraparound porches.

I love a wraparound porch.

I love the field where you can just, you have so much room for activities.

That's one of my favorite things about a plantation is just all the room.

You know?

Are you allowed to build a new home that looks like a plantation home or is that also bad?

If it has no history, if it's a brand new home, but it looks just like an antebellum mansion, side stories, lpotl at gmail.com.

What's the moral audience?

Yeah, what's the moral code on that one?

Why I say ask the audience?

Because I wonder if we can rebuild it to be a, and you could put up pictures of Harriet Tubman, you can put up pictures of George Washington Carver, you can put up pictures of Corey Booker.

Yeah.

All sorts of stuff on the walls to sort of show people I'm cool.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

But Annabelle's not.

Annabelle was not happy.

Well, unless this is super liberal of Annabelle.

I think it is.

She burned down the plantation.

She's anti-hate.

And then also, she

liberated a jail.

Well, this is the issue.

So now there has been a

tonight.

This is going to be a jailbreak.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah, dude.

Somewhere in this town.

Tonight, this is going to be a jailbreak.

And so, you better not be around.

Right?

Because they're going to fucking group rape you.

Now, this is different.

This story is.

This is a jailbreak.

This is bad.

They don't have a taste for butt yet.

We have to be careful with this crew, right?

So, seven guys escaped from the

this was in the Orleans Parish Sheriff's Office.

Yeah, the Parish Jail.

Yes, the OSPSO or whatever, the OPESO, whatever they go to the Orleans Justice Center.

So, seven guys, very dangerous criminals.

11.

Was it 11?

Yes.

But extreme, like a couple of murderers, couple of guys with some sexual assaults, couple of guys, like these are, this is a bad crew of dudes.

They removed the toilet from a wall inside of the justice center, ran out of it, but before leaving, they wrote the message too easy, unspelled,

misspelled, T-O-L.

An L-O-L.

Yeah, too easy, L-O-L, which is like everyone was laughing about it.

Today, they caught the guy, the maintenance guy that helped them, that shut off the water.

And now these guys are free.

I think they got two of them.

I mean, it's always changing.

But they had a 24-hour lead time because they spent, oh, yeah, that's right.

They did all this.

They had it.

I forgot they blurred out all the other stuff.

They said they blurred out the we, they wrote, we innocent.

Someone says, I'm innocent.

They scratched out I'm.

They wrote we,

then wrote, fuck OPSO, suck my dick, OJC.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, most hated.

The guy drew his eyeballs on.

He drew most hated.

They had time, obviously.

Yes.

To do a bunch of doodles.

But the main issue is that the doodles are funny and the sentiment is fun, but the men are extremely dangerous.

And the other problem is, is that I want to say this to anybody.

If somebody is in jail for multiple murder accounts,

and yeah.

You're in jail with them now.

Like you're hanging out.

You're a maintenance guy and you're hanging out with them.

One dude was tied to a mass shooting during Mardi Grow.

And that's the worst place to get tied to.

Unnot him.

If you're working with any of these guys, you just got to know

they're like not going to uphold their end of the bargain.

Yeah.

If you believe in the men that are fueled by Annabelle's power,

that they are going to, I guess, pay you money later on, or they're going to hook up something for a family member after this for you if you just help them out.

they're not gonna do it you're gonna be left carrying the bag these guys are they were scot-free for 24 hours they had no idea they were there because they up the night head count yeah and so they just it up and they said the guy whose job was to watch this is true

the guy whose job it was to watch the night surveillance cameras it was his one job he left the office to grab a snack

i believe he went to raising canes

and then went and then left the cameras unoccupied.

And they just ran out.

He's probably in on it, too.

You know, you watch this other thing.

You're seeing they're all tugging on this one door trying to get out, and you see guys just walk past, like, hey, you know, I don't want to fight.

And then you guys see other guys try to help them get the door open, which is really fun, but then they just stay.

Listen, I love New Orleans.

I love New Orleans.

It's a wonderful place.

It's one of the best places on the face of the fucking planet.

But here's the problem with New Orleans.

And if I'm speaking get a turn, I know I'll get my ass handed to me.

They don't fix nothing.

No.

They don't fix anything in New Orleans.

It's all just, if it's broke, it stays broke until something, a disaster happens.

It's deteriorating.

Yeah.

New Orleans is just, it's hard because it's a preservation jazz hall is crumbling.

It's called preservation hall.

It is.

New Orleans needs an injection of cash that's not.

just covered in cocaine.

And this lady is just really very, very upset about the Susan Hudson, who was the sheriff, who's saying it's impossible to break out from the Justice Center without help.

And so she's not wrong.

But I also, again, to bring it back to Epstein, because it reminds me

of that, yeah, because these guys are dormant with Epstein.

I'm just saying that if I was watching one expert talk about Epstein and his death, and they were saying,

If you walked into that prison where Epstein was, where we held, I believe, El Chapo, I think a couple of super high-level criminals.

Well, he's getting his family back now.

Thank God.

I mean, you know, we missed them.

Like El Niño, his son, La Nina, his daughter.

And they, they.

His grandpa, El Papo.

El Pil Papo.

So the

it's again, it's like they said if you walked into that jail and you said

the most elite criminals in the world are held here, you would be very frightened.

Yeah.

Because it's falling apart.

It's staffed by big,

fat, dumb idiots.

Huge idiots.

They don't know what.

They don't give a fuck.

They literally were going out for raising canes.

They weren't even going out for good New Orleans food.

They just got fast food.

Seriously, it's just a job.

Like, it's just a job to them.

So this idea that you think that each person inside of a prison is the most devout

warrior of justice just understand that that it's there's a lot of lapses like there's a lot of problems inside of these private jails because they're specifically using money to not they're they're taking the money they're not fixing the jail like the fact that you could pop the toilet out of the wall is too easy it is too easy and that's why it was greased by toe easy toe easy it was so easy

and that's the reason why it had to be greased.

Greased by the magic of Annabelle.

Because now Annabelle is, sadly, and very frighteningly, it's on its way to Rhode Island.

And I want the people of Providence to know that you need to batten up your hatches, whatever hatches you have to be battened.

Prisons need to be watched extra.

And know that, I mean, I, for love of Christ, I think, isn't Rhode Island known for hot dogs?

You know, I messed up.

It's not Rhode Island.

It's actually Rock Island, Illinois.

And

it's Rock Island Roadhouse in Rock Island, Illinois.

You can see where I fucked up when I read.

Rock?

It's going to a place called.

Annabelle is going to a Rock Island Roadhouse?

Yeah, because she wants to meet the ghost of Patrick Swain.

Who doesn't?

Who doesn't?

Apparently, he can't dance away out of cancer.

So, oh, no, so the haunted.

Oh, so that's another haunted location, the Rock Island Roadhouse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ah, yes.

See, that's fine.

You can bring her to an already haunted place.

Yeah, and that's the Devil's on the Run tour.

Yeah,

Annabelle.

Annabelle is featured like she is the lead singer of Evanescence.

I have no idea why.

They're like, Annabelle.

And it's like, it's not like she's singing a song or doing time.

Right?

She's literally just going to sit in a little chair, and you got Josh Purvis.

Oh, who are these guys?

Anyway, Rock Island Roadhouse, October 4th,

2025.

Get your tickets.

Lots of the Awards Occult Museum's going to be there.

And he's some kind of ghost investigator, John Purpose.

Yes, of course he is.

Why else would he fucking be there?

Probably.

I don't know.

If you'd be a doll guy.

Oh, man.

I was asking Robert the doll about Annibal, and he was like, that messy bitch?

Whoa, shit.

He's just like,

yeah,

she wants it, but

I don't fucking need to get it.

You know what I mean?

No, I know what you mean, Robert.

You got to be careful with these girls you travel around.

You're a sailor.

Well, he's a lady, actually.

Remember?

He's got the ghost of a little girl inside of him.

But we all do.

Yes.

Love you, Robert.

Love you, Robert.

No disrespect.

I love you so much, Robert.

No disrespect.

Of course there is no.

There's no disrespect.

All right, real quick, right before we get in here, this guy,

I want to cover real quick the Casper serial biter.

All right, I got another quick one after that.

You do Casper.

I believe this is Casper.

This is Natrona.

I don't know what state this is in.

This is in a bad place, whatever it is.

It's not good.

It's a guy who bites people professionally.

Now, this guy, with his fucking charmer by the name of Andrew Barrett,

he nearly bit the finger off of a Natrona County Sheriff's Office on Deputy Tuesday.

And so he was put into court over Zoom.

Yeah.

And he said that as he was talking, he kept, he'd start going,

he barked a lot.

And he started barking and flicking his tongue in and out like he was a hot dog.

Yeah.

And then he said that his, they asked him how he, you know, he said, he's like, hi, my name is Andrew Barrett.

I'm a crocodilian.

And they said that he was mainly, he was caught with marijuana.

And you would caught, but you didn't caught.

MF.

Yeah, I think MF was doing the heavy lifting.

Yeah, we don't want to give weed a bad name.

No, no.

But sometimes weed

makes you hungry.

Banner Wyoming Medical Center.

Sometimes you just get fucking hungry, dude.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

I can see it being munchies.

When I see a fucking cop with big, thickle sausage fingers, sometimes he's like,

God damn.

Give us a nibble.

Do you think he keeps mustard in his pockets?

I mean, it smells like it.

Barrett's on parole for serving prison time for aggravated assault and battery charge.

So that involved his previous charge was in 2021.

He bit the tip off of an index finger of a Banner Wyoming Medical Center employee.

This guy's got the, like, that's jaw strength.

Serial biter, yeah.

Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I hope his dentist is like using this as good press.

Honestly, he is.

He's a heck of a.

He's a hungry boy, a heck of a boy, and he's just trying to get a little chomp of a nurse.

So the cop's finger, did you read about that?

He bit the top of it and like bit down to the bone and then peeled back the meat.

And so the bone was still there.

Yeah, it is.

But he like ripped off everything else, apparently.

It's a cool name for a fucking cop to become bone finger

that's funny because i wouldn't change i'd never fix it i mean i just have that one little bone finger

fix it but they should lop it off oh yeah i think they put putty on it or something can you put a cap on it you have to seal the wound for sure but you bite it off and then if it's just meat yeah i'm pretty sure you have to sew saw the bone you can't just side stories lpotl at gmail.com it's cool you could put a little cap on it it would be cool if you could put a little cap on it but i don't see how you screw a cap into flesh.

It just goes over it like a big condom.

Sure.

And then what you do is, but then you pull it off when you mean business.

And like, you better watch it before I tickle you with my bones and guy.

Well, they gave him $100,000 cash bond.

Yeah, they said, do you think that you'd be able to make that bond?

And he says, I'm just a guy struggling to get by.

I ain't going nowhere.

They're like, we know, sir.

We know.

They are letting him go, but that's what happens when he's a hungry boy and he just likes a little chompy chomp.

Yeah.

Oh, man

i've never bit anybody you never bit a person i've been bit chris blakely bit me in the eye really yeah during uh because we he pushed me and then i hit him in the face with my baseball glove and then he attacked me and bit me in the eye and then we and then we fought on the baseball field i'm not and then my mom was there and she was saying he's got aids he's biting my son he's got aids yeah did he yeah no i don't think so but he did die

of what i imagine he died of drugs if i were were to guess, but I don't know for sure.

Yeah, I could guess that.

I know he was in some kind of a car accident and got a bunch of money from the settlement.

Oh, that's fun.

Yeah, and that's fun for him.

And got trashed.

But then, yeah, that was a problem that seemed to be bad for him.

Is that him?

Some people get out of the money straight up.

Yeah.

Largo, Florida.

April 30th, 2023.

That is literally the guy that bit you on the eye.

Is that we're looking at his obituary?

No, this isn't him.

Okay,

this isn't him.

I'm throwing

everything.

That's pretty literally.

I'm pretty close.

Yeah, it's 30.

He's 39.

Well, no, that's a year.

No,

he would be 81.

I think he was a year older than me, so he might be 80.

So, yeah, this guy's, this isn't the Chris Blakely I knew that died, and the guy I knew that died died a while ago.

Okay, so that's not him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not as exciting, then, I guess.

Not as exciting.

No, so, all right, well, yeah, just don't bite anybody.

I guess maybe we should bleep his name.

He's like, fuck him.

He's dead.

Yeah, that's right.

And he bit me.

So fuck him.

Yeah, right.

I had another story I was going to tell, but it's too sad to end the show on, I think.

Which one?

The one where the guy killed his wife and his two girls because he wanted a boy and she was pregnant with another girl.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

So he just killed everybody.

Yeah, it's pretty sad.

Yeah, you guys can read about that on your own time.

Yeah, you can go enjoy that on your own.

And then also, if you want to just come by my house, I'll tell you all about Jeffrey Epstein.

So if you just happen to find my address on the internet, which you can pretty easily, you just come by the house and see if you can handle it.

And if you want to have sex with some dogs, we've hired Jeffrey Puffein to be at the show this weekend.

Jeffrey Puffein is not fucking dogs.

He's just bringing dogs that are willing to fuck.

All right?

Listen,

they're going to fucking cancel the event.

That's what's going to happen after this.

They're literally just going to cancel the event.

What are you talking about?

They're going to be like, why you keep talking?

All you've talked about is fucking and murdering dogs.

We're selling dogs over here.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm trying to create urgency to get the dogs.

Yeah, that's like just adopt the dogs.

All the stuff I said about them immediately killing them is not true.

Prince Andrew's gonna be there.

Yep, my buddy.

My buddy.

Hey,

just call him Andy.

My favorite guy.

Did you guys see who they caught, by the way?

Who?

The cucumber sex guy.

Oh, the guy fucking stuck himself in the butthole with the cucumber.

Oh, guy fucking the cucumber.

Yes.

You got him.

They got him wow hey you know

okay wow another wow

you know i say this guy boy peppino

they really were working on finding him huh yeah how you say

how you say

how you say

oh how you say i saw the man oh me and alec went for long walk the other day first he tell me about the killer woman and i say oh alec don't be sad today it's happy day and i saw the man he fucked

cucumber.

I think you call it cucumber.

He said, oh, I make, he said he makes a special Greek salad with his special home recipe taziki that he squished inside of the cucumber.

I love Hilaria.

Yeah.

That fucking white woman.

I forgot about how Rachel Dolezal the other day looked it up for Jackie.

I forgot that Rachel Dolezal had changed her name to Undeke Diallo.

I forgot that that still holds.

Yeah, I mean, you know, she should have done that in the first place.

Yeah, she should have.

If you want to just lead with that.

All right, we got some stories.

A little backstory.

I was 17 years old at the time, living in a small rural town on the Illinois side of the Wisconsin-Illinois border.

You were living in Illinois.

That is anybody that lives in the Illinois border is living in Illinois.

It doesn't matter what state you're right next to.

Yeah.

It's a good point.

Derailed at the very top.

Nothing really there.

Lots of corn and darkness.

So it can be a pretty spooky backdrop to reality, especially when you were as smoked out as your gourd as I was.

No weed for me now because I'm a firefighter.

I see.

I think you can fucking do it, Stone.

Every Friday night.

It's half fire.

Like, just light your joint and spray it.

Yeah.

Every Friday night, I would go hang out with my older sister, eight years my senior, while her boyfriend worked nights at the local Chrysler auto plant.

We'd get cheebed out, watch scary movies, and make some munches.

Some of the best times of my life.

My sister's house was creepy as fuck, though, sometimes.

They bought it from a single seven-year-old male who, from what neighbors said, would host Halloween parties for the neighborhood children with a spooky maze into the basement for the prize of candy, or in my speculation, maybe some diddling.

That's on you.

You never know.

Some people just like Halloween.

Yeah.

And they're not always molesting.

Sometimes when they're molesting, it's not on Halloween because then that ruins Halloween for them because then Halloween becomes work.

They molest on Easter.

Still candy.

The basement had a weird closet with a tiny door for a peephole, right?

Where an average-height male could look through for whatever reason.

Again, he's just checking to make sure they only take one Snickers.

There was a small man-made pond in the background, and when we drained it, there was a marble bust of a head in a classic Greek-Roman style tied with a chain around the neck to a cinder block.

It's weird shit.

Weird guy.

It's probably haunted at some sort.

So this particular night seemed no different than any other night as we settled into our routine.

Just me, sis, her big cat.

With a feast of homemade quesadillas and many rips out of the bong, we watched a documentary on Mr.

Unabomber himself.

Then my sister asked me to empty the bong, place it in a closet in the back room of the basement to keep it out of sight sight of her stepdaughter when she came home over the weekend.

I took the bong, emptied it in the kitchen sink, and started on my way downstairs.

I had to duck because the ceiling above the stairs was too short for me and immediately turned right where you can see in the living room area.

And against the far wall is a sliding glass door that leads outside to the backyard.

Taking my right turn into a full 180, I walked through a utility hallway to a back bedroom where I placed the bong in a cardboard box alongside my other high school smoking essentials.

I then headed back the way I came, thinking nothing of anything really, but then I turned my head to the right towards the sliding glass door and I immediately froze.

The only other time I felt this was when I came face to face with a moose while hunting in Colorado.

What I saw moving in front of the glass door was a black, bipedal, gangly creature with bright green eyes about three to four feet tall.

The goblin, what I believe it to be, was almost scaly in appearance, and we made eye contact for what felt like forever.

In an instant, it bolted towards the far wall, not towards me, but my feet fell.

My feet felt like they were glued to the carpet.

It hid behind the side of an old couch, and I noped the fuck out of there, hitting my head in the low ceiling on the way up.

I immediately reported what I saw to my sister, who said I was just stoned, and it was the cat.

I refute her claim immediately, pointing out that the cat was sitting on her lap.

There's no way in hella would have made it upstairs without me noticing.

And that fucking cat is now four feet tall.

I tell the story to as many friends as people as I can tell.

And in the words of Henry, I know what I saw.

Yeah, well, I think you got to smoke weed again, Fire Cop.

I mean, you might need to because, I mean, like, if you're seeing goblins on weed, dude, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah, that shit's free.

Because I don't fucking, yeah, if I want to see goblins, I just go to my algorithm.

Yeah, no, see, that's the problem.

They're right there.

Or I I just walk the streets of Los Angeles.

Because I've learned to live every day knowing that I am a goblin too.

And I love my goblin community.

They've reached out to me in my time of need.

And I know that my father and I would laugh at the goblin activity that I've seen.

And oh, my God, he would love to arrest those goblins as much as any police officer ever could have arrested anyone.

And I wish that for him.

No.

I wish that he could have arrested Tammy Hull.

Oh.

Just for the sake of him being able to...

You would have been half Tammy if that happened.

Wow.

Yeah.

You think that she would have flipped that on my father?

I think my father liked a softer woman.

I don't think you have a choice, though, when it comes to Tammy.

She gets her eyes on you.

You're hers.

Her pussy's a dick.

We have big old plans here at patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

You can pay us money and you could see us do stuff

out loud and in person.

And you can go to twitch.tv slash LPNTV.

Right now, our streams are on pause.

They are going to be back on soon.

Except for last stream and the left.

That never goes anywhere.

That never goes anywhere.

That's going to stay the same no matter what we do.

Go to lastpodcastontheleft.com, buy tickets for our live shows.

You have to.

Contact in the desert is coming up immediately.

And you need to come see it.

Oh, God.

You're dying.

Come fucking see it.

Yeah, it's the last, it's May 29th through June 2nd, Contact in the Desert.

So come out to that to Saturday Desert, the Renaissance Resort.

You're going to have a lot of fun.

Henry and I are just going to be walking around getting drunk with a bunch of people with opinions.

Oh, yes.

But also know that we are going to be doing our comedy night,

which is a first for them, doing a purely comedy time.

And we are going to legitimately, we might really upset them.

I think they'll have a great time.

Yeah, I'm excited.

Well, we got Amber and Billy Wayne Davis are coming.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be a blast.

We are going to have a fucking bleast.

Cannot wait to go see us at Contact in the Desert.

Also, go to Bias, buy tickets for crime wave at sea.com.

Yes.

That is for our true crime cruise that we're doing.

Departs out of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, November 3rd through the 7th on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.

So come enjoy that.

And we got it some more.

We're about to announce some more side stories dates.

So keep listening and find out if we're coming to your city.

Got some interesting towns picked out.

I'm very excited.

Yes.

Also,

I got an announcement.

I got a show on August 21st out here in Los Angeles called Dead Men Tell Some Tales.

Oh, yes.

A deep dive into Disney's dark history.

That's going to be Thursday, August 21st at 7.30 p.m.

at the Elysian Theater.

I'm doing the show with my buddy Disney Dan Becker.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

We're going to talk about everyone who's ever died at the Disney parks and joke about it.

It's going to be interesting.

It's just in time for the beginning of the Oogie boogie bash so if you're going to that come to this as well it's going to be a lot of fun tickets available on eddytoons.com yeah come check us out you guys are you're gonna be fun i like this guy no he's gonna be great he's gonna be great i wanted you to meet him he came to the orlando show yeah he seemed like a nice guy can't wait for him to see see his wares natalie likes him oh natalie thinks she enjoys his disney content there we go

There we go.

Crossover.

Crossover.

All right, you fuckers.

Thank you guys for all of your support.

This has been Side Stories.

It's been great, hasn't it?

Yes.

Let's get those orcas out of their can.

Do some fucking work.

Somebody else do it, though.

I mean, someone else has to do it.

They clearly abandoned them.

Yeah, someone.

I mean, you know.

Honestly, I don't know who's going to fit the bill to get these orcas out of here.

You know who could use some really, really good press?

P.

Diddy.

P.

Diddy.

And he's got the money.

Yeah.

So

looking at you, P.

Diddy.

Do you think they drink baby oil?

I mean, they'll have to.

What's poppin' listeners?

I'm Lacey Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it.

Each week, I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time.

Want to know about the fake heirs?

We got them.

What about a career con man?

We've got them too.

Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins.

Oh, you know they are represented because representation matters.

I'm joined by guests like Nicole Beyer, Ira Madison III, Conan O'Brien, and more.

Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

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