Lovett or Weave It

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Welcome to Love It or Leave It. This episode is dedicated to the fishing scammers currently holding my inbox hostage if I don't send Scout Walls $500 by midnight.
But midnight Moscow time, not Minnesota time. I don't know.
I didn't ask too many questions.

Tonight on the show,

Jim Rash is here

to weave a Trumpian word tapestry.

Congressional candidate Derek Tran

lets out his inner shoe lock homes.

Sucks.

And the one and only Bill Nye stops by

to try and supply reasons why

lies might not be nigh

with a G-H, different word.

There we all have plans to spin a wheel, but I might not make it. But first, let's get into it.
What a week. On Monday night, after his town hall in Pennsylvania was twice interrupted by medical emergencies in the crowd, Trump ended the Q&A early saying, who the hell wants to hear questions, right? Continued Trump.
Let me hear that music, please.

Everyone, let's thank President Trump.

Nice and loud.

God bless you.

Let's send President Trump back to the White House.

I want to hear questions such as, is he okay?

What's going on? Why is this race tied? It's really hitting me this week. But Trump didn't leave the stage.
At one point he said he would take another question, change his mind, call Democrats evil, and then ask his team to crank YMCA. And those two people that went down are patriots and we love them.
And because of them, we

ended up with some good music, right?

Right? So play

YMCA. Go ahead.
Let's go.

Nice and loud.

Here we go, everybody.

And then

he just stood there

swaying for song

after song for

39 minutes. And he remained mostly silent, only occasionally interrupting his swing to say, could a guy with dementia do this? 39 minutes.
To help us all grasp just how long 39 minutes is, we've brought in a separate screen here to play Trump's full music appreciation session silently in real time for the next 39 minutes of the show. All right, everybody, the 39 minutes has begun.
We'll keep tabs on it. And if at home it is shorter than 39 minutes, well, you can thank this team for tightening the fuck out of the show after I'm out of earshot.
Meanwhile, Trump backed out of a planned interview with CNBC this week, along with an NBC interview and an NRA town hall, this after canceling on 60 Minutes earlier this month. Said Trump, get back to me when it's called 60 Minutes of Uninterrupted Dancing.
Also, I can't believe Trump turned down the chance to appear on Squawk Box, considering it's also the pet name he's given each of his wives. In all seriousness, it really does seem like something's going on with him, on top of all of the things we know to be going on with him.
Trump did show up for an interview with Bloomberg at the Economic Club of Chicago on Tuesday, which didn't exactly put questions about his mental acuity to rest. Trump repeatedly rambled while answering questions, and when called out by Bloomberg editor-in-chief John Micklethwaite, claimed that his digressions were a purposeful tactic called the weave.
So let me just tell you.

No, I'm just telling you basic.

It's called the weave.

It's all these different things happening.

Said Trump to Micklethwaite,

when it seems like I'm making a mistake,

I'm actually doing something very calculated, Mr. Pickleball.

In between his incoherent rantings on stage in Chicago, Trump took this swipe at Kamala Harris. I took two cognitive tests and I aced them both.
I think people should take cognitive tests, not because of the age, but because of something else. Now, here's the problem.
They say it's unconstitutional. OK, but I would love to see cognitive tests.
I don't think she could pass a cognitive test.

Bragging about passing a cognitive test for a presidential candidate is a lot like bragging about passing a field sobriety test. Like, okay, but why are we taking the test? What's the concern here? It's not something you brag about.
It's something you quietly tell your wife while counting your blessings. But then you remember the only wife you've ever truly loved is birding the golf course with that signed photo of your grandpa and Hitler.
Anyway, this entire election is a cognitive test for all of us. And as of now, it is not clear whether or not this country can draw a fucking clock.
That's what this election is. That's what it is.
America, draw a clock. on Wednesday Trump at his Fox News town hall taking questions from an all women audience

an audience that Fox News did not mention was mostly comprised of area Trump supporters. He mostly repeated his various blood libels and then his claim that everyone was thrilled when Roe was overturned.
But upon hearing a question about IVF, Trump said this. I'm the father of IVF.
Yuck. And then, moments later, he admitted that Senator Katie Britt, who he made sure to mention he finds hot, had to explain to him what IVF was in February of this year.
So I got a call from Katie Britt, a young, just a fantastically attractive person from Alabama. She's a senator.
And I said, explain IVF very quickly. And within about two minutes, I understood it.
This might seem like a contradiction until you remember that to Trump, being a father of something means not knowing or caring about it even a little bit until it affects you personally. Trump had a tougher time at Univision, which is Spanish for Univision.
At this town hall that was not stacked with adoring fans, he got some gotchas, which I'm going to play at 1.25 speed. I am a Republican, no longer registered though.
You know, what happened during January 6th and the fact that, you know,

you waited so long to take action

while your supporters were attacking the Capitol.

Coronavirus, I thought we were,

the public was misled during coronavirus

and that many more lives could have been saved.

I'm curious how people so close to you

and your administration

no longer want to support you,

so why would I want to support you?

You know, your own vice president doesn't want to support you now.

What's Spanish for plant?

All right.

It's planta.

I know.

I remember all the cognates.

That's what my Spanish teacher called me in high school.

King of the cognate.

Could find my way to a cognate beautifully.

Now I sound like Trump.

Trump.

Trump took a deep breath and replied, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. To win back your trust, it's going to take some very intense, very sustained dancing.
In the most telling campaign moment of the week, here's Trump's response to the part about January 6th and the audience's extremely skeptical reaction. Action was taken, strong action.
Ashley Babbitt was killed. Nobody was killed.

There were no guns then. But that was a day of love from the standpoint of the millions of hundreds of thousands.

Taking a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk is one of the rarer love languages, but it's love nonetheless.

Speaking of God complexes, Kamala Harris joined Charlemagne the God for an interview on Tuesday and pushed back on critics who say she's too scripted.

Now, you know, one thing they've been saying, a lot of your press hits get criticized.

You know, folks say you come off as very scripted.

They say you like to stick to your talking points. And some media says you have...
That would be called discipline. I like that.
I like that. Like, we want our politicians to be completely 100% unscripted, never make a mistake, always be 100% authentic, repeat their speech over and over and over again, but not in a way that is pointed out to us.
Stupid. Sorry, Vice President Harris.
Discipline isn't a concept we know anymore. We're watching TikToks on our phones instead of paying attention to the TV show we put on instead of finishing our book, instead of doing our tasks.
Having discipline in 2024 is like being fluent in Latin. Impressive, but to what end? During the interview, Harris took aim at Trump's supposed projection of strength.
When in fact the man is really quite weak. He's weak.
It's a sign of weakness that you want to please dictators and seek their flattery and favor. It's a sign of weakness that you would demean America's military

and America's service members.

It's a sign of weakness

that you don't have the courage

to stand up for the Constitution of the United States

and the principles upon which it stands.

Wow.

Yeah.

Some people are just really good on the phone. Trump is that special kind of weak and unfit, the type that fails to open a jar and then says, I loosened it for you.
And the next person gets it. Speaking of not loose, Kamala Harris sat down with Fox News' Brett Baer on Wednesday night.
Good for Kamala, right into the lion's dead. Sure, the lions are fantastically wealthy liars with poorly placed Botox, but still, lions.
Baer asked Harris if she thought that Trump supporters were stupid. Misguided the 50%? Are they stupid? Brett Baer, like Elmer Fudd here, putting a carrot under a box held up by a fucking stick.
But will democracy's Bugs Bunny in a pussyboat blouse fall for his trap? Oh, God, I would never say that about the American people. And in fact, if you listen to Donald Trump, if you watch any of his rallies, he's the one who tends to demean and belittle and diminish the American people.
He's the one who talks about an enemy within, within, an enemy within. talking about the American people.
He's the one who talks about an enemy within, an enemy within, talking about the American people, suggesting he would turn the American military on the American people. Nailed it.
So Kamala doesn't take the bait to create a little deplorable sequel and points out that it's Trump targeting Americans. But Bayer responded with this.
A question to the former president today, Harris Faulkner had a town hall, and this is how he responded. I heard about that.
They were saying I was, like, threatening. I'm not threatening anybody.
They're the ones doing the threatening. They do phony investigations.
I've been investigated more than Alphonse Capone. He was the greatest gangster.
No, it We've got to think of it. It's called weaponization of government.
It's a terrible thing. Now, instead of playing the clip Kamala is talking about, Bear played a clip where Trump tries to downplay his own repeated comments, which Kamala helpfully pointed out.
I'm sorry. And with all due respect, that clip was not what he has been saying about the enemy within that he has repeated when he's speaking about the American people.
That's not what you just showed. He was asked about that specific.
No, no, no, no, that's not what you just showed in all fairness and respect to you. No, no, no, I'm telling you that was the question that we asked him.
He didn't show that. And here's the bottom line.
He has repeated it many times. And you and I both know that.
And you and I both know that he has talked about turning the American military on the American people. He has talked about going after people who are engaged in peaceful protest.
He has talked about locking people up because they disagree with him. This is a democracy.
Yes. in fact the clip bear played to downplay or pretend Trump had walked back his comments

actually came moments after he says exactly what Kamala Harris was talking about.

This is what Brett Bear cut around. It is the enemy from within,

and they're very dangerous. They're Marxists and communists and fascists, and they're sick.

I use a guy like Adam Schiff because they made up the Russia, Russia Marxists and communists and fascists. And they're sick.

I use a guy like Adam Schiff

because they made up the Russia, Russia, Russia hooks.

It took two years to solve the problem.

Absolutely nothing was done wrong, et cetera, et cetera.

They're dangerous for our country.

We have China, we have Russia, we have all these countries.

If you have a smart president, they can all be handled.

Handled.

They've gotten so soft over there at Fox News,

endlessly interviewing Trump about how reasonably priced his watches are

and how sweet his kisses taste.

Well, now they've finally met their match.

A woman with a working short-term memory.

Fresh off her Donnybrook with Brett Baer,

Kamala got this line off on some MAGA hecklers

attending her rally in Wisconsin on Thursday.

Oh, you guys are at the wrong rally. No, I think you meant to go to the smaller one down the street.
Nice. Nice.
Hey, we're still having fun. We're strapped to a rock getting our eyes pecked out by eagles, but we're goofing on the eagles and we're having a good time.

Speaking of people trapped between this world and the next,

former President Jimmy Carter, who celebrated his 100th birthday earlier this month,

successfully cast his vote for Kamala Harris on Wednesday with a mail-in ballot.

Can I tell you what my first thought was?

Sincerely, Carter dies between now and Election Day. Georgia comes down to one vote.
We can't verify a signature. I'm not sleeping well.
The Prilosec is only kind of working. I see one more poll that makes no sense.
Jimmy Carter may outlive me. Carter told his son Chip back in August, I'm only trying to make it to vote for Kamala Harris.
Said Chip, what'd you say, Dad, as he looked up from his phone? Nothing. Nothing, said Jimmy.
Nothing. Chip Carter is 74 years old, by the way.
Chip, maybe you get that ballot in the mail too, buddy. You're young, but only compared to one person.
Speaking of time being short, Israeli officials confirmed on Thursday the death of Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, the architect of the October 7th attacks in Gaza. But don't worry, he got his vote in for Kamala in time as well.
Following the news, Vice President Harris said this in remarks from Wisconsin. in Gaza ends and the Palestinian people can realize their right to dignity, security, freedom, and self-determination.
Said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, or... Should we just not talk about it? All right.
On Thursday, the Biden administration announced another round of student debt forgiveness, bringing the total student loan cancellation to $175 billion for nearly 5 million people since President Biden took office.

Looks like my staff won't have to pay back their student loans for clown college.

I'm kidding.

You are my best and only friends.

Speaking of clown college, a couple of days ago, this video made the rounds.

Allow me to describe the video.

A kneeling person is fed a Dorito by a person off camera.

Then, truly in a jump scare, the person off camera is revealed to be Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

And impossibly, this is a video about the CHIPS Act. That's what I guess the Dorito represents.
To be honest, I hated this video when I saw it last week, but it's October in an election that will determine if we protect the climate, abortion, gender-affirming care, immigrants, Obamacare, and democracy. So when I hate something a Democrat does, I say it in my car on my way to the microphones.
Just deal with it. I'll make up for it next year.
But then Governor Whitmer apologized after some Catholics expressed offense that the tableau evoked the Holy Sacrament of Communion. In Whitmer's apology, she claimed it never occurred to her that the video would bring to mind the time Jesus turned into a Dorito.

Said the governor in a statement,

I would never do something to denigrate someone's faith.

I would do something to queerbait based on questionable advice from my Gen Z staff, but if God doesn't like that, he's a dweeb.

She continued, and as a reminder to celebrate all faiths,

I always look to my many, that's not true. I don't think the, as I said, the extreme left has done anything to inhibit the art of comedy.
I'm taking that back now, officially. With a sigh, added Seinfeld, what's the deal with me? Good for Seinfeld.
Comedians in cars getting introspective. Normally these guys just retrench and get all defensive.
That's cool. I think that's good.
He said something kind of dumb, got a bunch of criticism for it, he thought about it and said, no, I'm being stupid. I'm wrong.
And he actually explains it because he says basically culture changes, views change, jokes we used to make, we can't make anymore. But the job he compared to skiing, because he's always got a metaphor for comedy.
At least this one's about sports and not like splitting the atom or something. But like, he's like, you know, the skiers have to hit the gates.
He has to hit the marks. If you don't hit the space where you're supposed to go, it's not funny.
That's not on the culture. That's on you, which I thought was a very good point.
So good for Jerry Seinfeld. Welcome to the resistance, I suppose.
In a week of weirdness, one weirdness more, according to the New York Times, no one knows who is currently the CEO of Boar's Head. Because it's three pigs in a trench coat.
It's not. According to the Times, the deli meat empire is run by a secretive dynasty of two families, the Brunkhorses and the Biscoffs, two households both alike in pignity.
Also, the exact names you'd make up for dueling families controlling a deli meat empire. According to Boershead's former head of finance in a 2022 deposition, even the finance department wasn't allowed to access even basic information about Boar's Head

sales, all of which had drawn scrutiny in the wake of a deadly listeria outbreak that exposed

safety problems at a Virginia plant. They're as secretive as anybody I can think of in the

industry, said Tom Johnston, editor of Meeting Place, a trade publication covering the meat

processing industry. Forget it, Tom trade publication covering the meat processing industry.

Forget it, Tom, it's charcuterie town.

Let's do a quick poll.

Just decide which one you like better.

Forget it, Tom, it's prosciutto town.

All right, I think about even.

They've got a saying at Boar's Head,

snitches get stitches and a big sandwich because everybody gets a big sandwich. Thought that one would do better.
And finally, Penguin Random House announced Wednesday that Pope Francis' memoir, titled Hope, will be published in February. The full title of the memoir was, It's a Me, the Pope, and I'm full of a hope.
A memoir by the Pope? What will these penguins think of next?

Up next, he's the Dean of our dreams.

It's Jim Rash.

Hey, don't go anywhere.

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And we're back! One of the funniest people around.

Spin and everything.

You know him from community.

Put your hands together for the wonderful Jim Rash.

Good to meet you.

Good to see you.

Thanks for being here.

Oh, thanks for having me.

Hi.

Oh, yeah. I hated that

card. We're here to talk about, I like your

shoes. I'm moving this chair back a little.
Please do

because my eye line.

That's better. Yeah, that's better.

Well, this was better, but that's okay.

It's just like so profile.

Go ahead. I was trying to, okay.
No, it's okay.

Well, I was too much in profile and it's my show.

Oh, fair enough.

Fair enough. Fair enough.

Let's edit that out.

Oh, no.

We get three of those, right?

Yeah, that's right.

You get exactly three of them.

Great.

All right, so we talked about this briefly in the monologue.

We're going to talk today about the weave.

In short, Trump is now arguing that he isn't constantly losing his train of thought and

rambling from topic to topic, improvising every speech at a speed that would make Del

Close gasp,

as we all assumed.

Mm-hmm.

That was complicated.

Well, yeah.

No, he's...

Del Close, drop a name.

That's good.

Yeah, I thought it was good.

That's a good homage.

Mm-hmm.

He's actually developed a very sophisticated,

never-before-seen speech pattern called the weave,

which is why we're playing a game we're calling

Love It or Weave It.

Oh. Oh, there we are.
We're weaving. We're weaving on a loom.
God. On a loom.
Why don't I do more hand modeling based on this? Oh, God. Gorgeous.
We got to stop these looms. I forgot when we were doing that, when we were working there.
No, I know. It was a beautiful, beautiful experience.
It was a different time, and we would just gossip and barely get our weaving done. The people listening to this are like, what the fuck are they talking about? I'm going to play you a snippet of Trump talking.
You will have to tell us what question his answer is in response to. Are you ready? Earlier this week, Donald Trump sat down with Bloomberg News Editor John Micklethwaite for an interview in Chicago where he went on this rant about Virginia voter rolls.
Virginia cleaned up its voter rolls and got rid of thousands and thousands of bad votes.

Jim, what was that question that Trump was answering?

Well, I guess

the logic is it's going to be

nowhere near what he's talking about at this

point. So I

was going to say, is climate change real?

Close. Here's the question.
I can't believe I got that wrong. Should Google be broken up? The question was, should Google be broken up? Ah.
I really was so close. So close.
But I was in the neighborhood because it was such a far departure from it. Right.
Yeah. Could you imagine actually improvising while he was weaving? I mean, it'd make you probably the best improviser in the world to justify everything that he's saying and changing topics.
That's right. Here we are at that bakery, and then he starts weaving.
Yeah, that's right. He's a terrible scene partner.
He's not really a listener. Not at all.
He's not a listener. Not at all.
You here we are this bigger we gotta stop these migrants you're right we do and they're coming in the door right now uh migrants please we're not open yet and he's like uh actually the jews are gonna be the reason i lose oh and then i just start singing for the blackout. Blacking out.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Two weeks in a row.

Bravo.

All right.

During his rally this week in Oaks, Pennsylvania,

Trump invited supporters on stage to ask him questions.

One voter had this query for him.

My grocery bill has not gone down.

Everything is still so very expensive.

What steps will your administration take to help American families suffering from this inflation? What Oscar-winning performance did Trump reference in response? I'm going to assume he's going the Hannibal Lecter route. That's correct.
Thank you. Wow.

I almost went Sophie's Choice and I went, no.

Oh, yeah.

You know,

because you have to choose

your grocery items.

Right.

Right.

And sometimes...

I can't do the flour.

Sorry, flour.

You're out.

But you need both.

The flour and the other thing

you're going to buy.

You need the eggs. It was natural to say eggs I forgot they exist for a moment briefly.
Really? I couldn't remember what you would want to make with flour. I'm not much of a cook Okay Oh, everybody loves a good just flour and eggs What do you want to have? Flours and eggs? Okay, I'll mix it up for you.
Anything else? No.

Cook it?

No.

Why is it good to cook it?

Just like a paste.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's good. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

So I have a little theory, and I want to know what you think about this,

which is, so I think Pillsbury's really cracked the code.

It's something I've talked about in this show before.

I don't really care.

I could talk about it again.

That's why you're bringing it back up. If you go to the Albertsons or any supermarket, really, you got the blue cookie dough and you got the yellow cookie dough.
Blue cookie dough is Pillsbury. Yellow cookie dough is Toll House.
Yellow Toll House cookie says, do not eat this raw. Pillsbury says, come on in, you fucking freaks.
Is that right? Eat this right now. Eat and bake.
But here's the eat or bake, it says on the thing. But now people have caught on.
And now

it's only, you go

and there's just empty racks. I think

that like the market hasn't caught up to the fact

that everybody has now discovered

that the blue cookie dough, you don't have to

cook it. And we can finally give in to

our debauched true selves.

Where you just undo it and

then just chomp on the whole. Yeah.

Well, so you can usually buy it in sheets.

Which is

I don't know. to our debauched true selves.
Where you just undo it and then just chomp on the hole. Yeah, well, so you can usually buy it in sheets.
I feel like we just went home with you one night. I feel like this is a call for help because clearly...
We haven't even gotten to it yet. You've said, you've clarified, oh, well, you can get the sheets or you can get a full log.
Either way, you're up on the couch

and you're just nyam-nyam-nyaming it.

So the sheets are better

because they're individual cookies.

The log, you're just...

That way you can pace yourself.

Yes, you can decide...

I'm only going to have five sheets.

Right.

Well, that's...

Yes.

But they're now out of the sheets,

so you have to get the log.

And then they were out of the normal-sized log, so all they had left was value log. Oh.
And so anyway... No, and then I would just say, do you have like a party ball size? Yeah, do you have perhaps a drum of some kind filled with cookie dough? Oh, Costco maybe is where you want to go and just get a tub of...
I'm interested in a tub or a pallet, perhaps. For this weave, I'm going to play it.
And then immediately you'll have to guess the topic Trump mentioned just before this clip began. Are you ready? We have never been so close to World War III.
What was he talking about before this? He was just talking about more beachfront property with climate change so close he was in fact talking about the weave itself oh see that's a trick question okay by the way and i think it's very important you can go you know i call it the weave you can call it it's got a you have the weave as long as you end up in the right location at the end but uh while we're talking about it we have never been so close to world world war three absolutely fucking nuts well kind of he's kind of right because if he's at the helm and that's what we get then we are probably very close to it right he's a bit like a customer to restaurants being like this restaurant has never been closer to having a patron destroy it from the inside. Yes.
As he lifts various glass things. Glasses.
I will say the weave can be helpful, I guess, if you're on, say, a bad date and you get that flop sweat and then you just say, I'm sorry, real quick, I'm just weaving. I'll eventually land where you want.
Can't relate. Or a bad audition.
I'm getting there. I'm going to find the line.
I'm just sort of weaving my way to it. Don't worry.
I'm going to stick it. I've never been on a bad date.
Really? No. I was going to say.
I've been on some bad dates. No, I'm sorry.
That whole cookie dough thing told me that. Said the guy who's been on many.
Yeah, no, I know, I know. No, they're very protective of me because they know my personality and how right you are.
Next up in this clip, Donald Trump says a word many people this week thought was because it was so strange. They thought it was his attempt to say Arizonans.
Jim, how do you think he tried to pronounce it? Well, I'm trying to remember exactly because I've seen. Oh, era Asians.
Very close. Very close.
Let's see what he said. We'll give it to you, I guess.
Oh, thank you.

You look great.

Thank you, darling.

Also, we have many azurations.

Now, I forgot that hard Z at the beginning.

Now, here's what's interesting.

Here's what's interesting, fake news media.

It was such a garbled and confusing word that people assumed, I guess he was trying to say Arizonans because he said Azorazians. It turns out Trump wasn't trying to say Arizonans.
He was trying to say Assyrians because there was a contingent of Assyrians for Trump in the audience behind them. And they had t-shirts that said Assyrians for Trump.
He still biffed it. Wow.
Wow. Isn't that interesting? Yes, absolutely it is.
He kind of got, kind of a little bit unfair to Trump there. Yeah, maybe.
Arizona was on the screen. Yeah.
I think, Azarizans. I mean, he still fucked it up, but I think, it's like, you're in Arizona.
No. Arizona.
No, we don't have to give him any points. It's a fail both ways.
Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right.
We don't have to find the silver lining here. We don't have to weave our way into giving him a half compliment.
Yeah, fuck that. You got to know how to say his...
No. Jesus.
And you know what that sound means?

I guess.

It's time for our lightning round where the points double.

Oh, good.

So now they really matter.

These really matter.

I think I've gotten two out of four.

Is that correct?

You got them all right.

It's time...

I don't remember that.

It's time for a lightning round

called What a Mangled Web He Weave. What a Mangled Web He Weave.
It's time. I don't remember that.
It's time for a lighting round called

What a Mangled Web He Weave.

What a Mangled Web He Weave.

Here's the game.

I'm going to give you two completely unrelated topics.

We'll put 30 seconds on the clock.

You'll have to weave a Trumpian tapestry

between these two concepts,

which again will appear to the untrained eyes

having nothing to do with one another.

Are you ready,

Jim?

I guess.

Yep.

I have three leave options for you to pick from.

Okay.

You can just,

you know what?

Yeah.

You're just gonna have to do the first one.

I say,

yep.

Give it to me.

Tariffs and Martin Short and Meryl street,

potentially dating.

Okay.

That's it.

Do it.

I mean,

tariffs are not going to benefit.

We have to wait till the timer starts.

Tariffs are not going to benefit. Yeah.
They're going to put more money out of that. Speaking of money, it's like money, money, money.
If you remember, show me the money from Tom Cruise and show me the money. It was so funny because when you think about Tom Cruise, you think about him and Top Gun.
It doesn't even really matter that you know, whether it was good or not, but Meryl Streep loved it, and Martin Shore loved it, and that was going to be their first date, was watching Top Gun. Nice.
So, when you said money, money, money, I thought you had found your way to Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia. I know, that would have been smarter.
They were're at, they were there. We were there.
We were on the precipice.

But that's the tricky thing with the weave.

Because sometimes,

sometimes, like a zig and a zag,

you don't know which way you're going to go.

And because I could not

find the Jerry Maguire,

I had to lock into Tom Cruise.

And then I was really

in a gray zone there.

And I said, Jim, you've got

to get to Martin Short.

And it's much easier Thank you. Cruz.
And then I was really in a gray zone there and I said, Jim, you've got

to get to Martin Short. You got to.

And it's much easier

than you're making it. So then I was like,

Tom Cruz, was he any

Martin Short in their movies? Then I bailed on

that. No, he wasn't.
And I don't know

if Meryl was. And then, man, I

stuck the landing, though. You really did.

Well, it's interesting. You went to Tom Cruz.

That weaving there was better than my first time. Tom Cruise and Martin Short, vaguely in the same font.
Say that again, Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise and Martin Short, they're vaguely, they have similar vague shapes. Oh, I heard you say font.
Yeah, like they're kind of, they're like, Oh, I see what you're saying. They're like, what is that? Same font, different people, different people, same font.
They're like similar fonts. Is that a thing? A little bit.
Yeah, like they're kind of, they're like Oh, I see what you're saying. They're like, what is that? Same font, different people,

different people, same font. They're like

similar fonts. Is that a thing? A little bit.

So, okay. You know?

So we're all like, what was the one? Rinky Dinks

font? Yeah, Rinky Dinks.

Wing Dinks? Wing Dinks.

I saw Martin Short at the airport.

Oh, God.

I wish I had a better one. I've

seen Martin Short in a lobby at a theater. That's cool.
Yeah. Let's do one more.
Inflation and the new Wicked movie. Wait, Inflation? They're gasping.
Inflation. I can't wait for him to get to that Wicked thing.
So Inflation and the new Wicked movie. And the new Wicked movie.
Okay. I mean, thankfully, I think inflation is going down not as much as they would have hoped.
And speaking like going down, I mean, you know, what's not going down is the anticipation. Oh, that's too fast.
You know, going down is like an elevator. And, you know, it's like, you know, I remember going up in an elevator once and I was sitting next to Adina, Kristen Chenoweth.
And she says, you remember that last note? I went, you mean the one that goes, ah, ah, ah, ah. And I go, where did I hear that before? Oh, that's right.
I'm going to hear it again in the new Wicked movie. That was so good.
Are you, how much, how much Wicked, how many versions of Defying Gravity have you consumed? How many different versions? Yes. Like, do you have any do you have an is any does any algorithm the album because i've never seen on stage but i hope to see it the pantages uh my god it's okay i've listened to the album but the because the algorithm has figured out that i want to hear every version of defying gravity ever recorded from From anyone? From anyone on Earth, including Brazilian and German versions.

Yeah.

I have heard so many people go, ah, and also, ah, also the other one.

There's a third one.

Yeah.

Well, there's probably the matinee one where they don't go there to save their voice.

Oh.

Oh.

The matinee audience is like, oh, matinee.

Matinee.

Matinee.

It's matinee.

Hey, it's a matinee.

Gotta save it.

Gotta save it for the big one.

For the night people, the people that count.

For the night people.

They pay the same.

They pay the same.

Why does the matinee not count?

It's only daytime outside, but not in the theater.

It's the same light in the theater.

Yeah, same thing that's going on.

But because it's daytime outside, we care less.

What's that about?

I don't know.

That's a good question. Maybe we just think that daytime people are more, this is not offensive because I go to matinees, but maybe they just be like, oh, these people are a little bit more boring because they don't have like a nightlife.
Yeah. But then when you go to the theater at night, you have dinner at six.
The what? It's dinner so early. Yeah.
Hey, you know what I've really enjoyed? Weaving with you. I have enjoyed weaving too.

Thank you.

Jim Rash, thank you so much.

Oh my God.

He'll be back for the wheel we do at the end.

One more time for Jim Rash.

When we come back,

congressional candidate Derek Tran is here.

And we're back.

Please welcome to the stage.

It's your pal and hopefully soon to be congressman.

It's Derek Tran.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Thanks for being here.

By the way, Trump stopped dancing.

Oh, Trump stopped dancing.

Wait, is it over?

What?

What?

So it stopped.

It ran out. Nobody commented or made a noise? I did.
I just told you.

Oh, the screensaver went on. Jesus fucking

Christ.

Well, here, let's fake it.

Let's just fake it.

That was it. That was

39 minutes.

Long time. Long time.
All right, Derek. Your money represents California's 45th district.
It basically wraps around Disneyland. It does, yeah.
They gave me Knott's Berry Farm. You got Knott's Berry Farm? Yeah, I had Knott's Berry Farm.
I went to Knott's Berry Farm as a kid. There was a ride, I believe, called Montezuma's Revenge.
Have they renamed that? No, I think it's still there. I'm not sure.
It was one of the ones that would accelerate very quickly. I think that was the revenge.
Or maybe when you went back. You were tall enough to get on the rights? Wow.
They told me to be funny back there. Yeah, no no it's true i was it's um actually from a very young age i really wanted to go on roller coasters but i was too short to go on them and so we would stuff my shoes we would put stuff in my shoes to go on the ride i'm lucky to be here i could have slipped through i was a little chunky so i wouldn't have slipped out so it was fine i was fine no it's good i love you sorry no no i'm glad you said it.
I could have slipped through. I was a little chunky, so I wouldn't have slipped out.
So it was fine. I was fine.
No, it's good. I love you.

Sorry. No, no, I'm glad you said it.
I don't care

about being short. It actually doesn't really confort with

my personality. You think I'd hold

grudges and care about being short?

Neither is true. Isn't that weird? This is my last

time on this show, by the way. You'll never see me again.

So your district has the

highest Vietnamese American population in the

country, but you would be the district's first Vietnamese American representative. Seems bad to break the streak, no?

That's what I do best. But like sort of what does that mean in the district and what does it mean to the Vietnamese population in the district? Look, it's a huge honor to be where I'm at right now.

This community, since the fall of Saigon in 75, 49 years ago plus,

they've never had representation in D.C. No voice, no one with the lived experience to share with the national leaders there

what this refugee community is all about.

So that's one of the many reasons why I want to do this.

So your opponent is all about. So that's one of the many reasons why I want to do this.
So your opponent is the incumbent, currently trying to dance around a deeply anti-choice, anti-abortion voting record, an attempt that has the LA Times in writing say, don't put too much faith in anything she says or does during an election on the issue. uh how first, how effective has that been? How hard is it to make clear to people, especially because California is expensive, an expensive place to campaign? How effective has she been at getting that story out versus Democrats and getting the truth out about it? Look, I think it's difficult in that I'm challenging an incumbent and there's so much dark money out there, right? There's been almost a million from Elon playing in this district for God knows why.
Crypto money that's in this district that's playing against me, like 2.8 million. But at the end of the day, I think that my message, which resonates with the community out there, matters and representation matters out there.
So we're doing, we're working so hard. My entire team, the volunteers I have, you know, taking zero corporate PAC money, I am funded by the people.
And I'm proud of that. So we're going to do it.
The Cybertruck sucks. It's super ugly.
My father texted to say that great news. He got off the wait list for the Cybertruck.
I think he's kidding. But I won't know until I visit.
Hey, what do you think about the efforts

to undermine your campaign?

People, they're trying to bring up

former legal clients

that you've defended as a lawyer

when at the same time

we all recognize that everybody

has a basic right to have a defense.

How has that played out?

Yeah, look, I think it's pretty fucked up

that they're doing this.

Number one, I'm not a defense lawyer.

Never have been.

And not that there's anything wrong with being a defense lawyer, but they're twisting cases that I've had as a consumer rights lawyer, wrongful termination cases, and calling me a defense lawyer for rapists. I mean, that is insane.
That's who I'm campaigning against, this vile person that doesn't care about truth, right?

But at the end of the day,

I think people see through that.

All right.

Well, that's the hope, at least.

You got the LA Times endorsement.

That's gotta be worth a lot of votes.

I think there's gotta be a lot of people

that just like, I don't know.

The California ballot is so many fucking things,

which is a reminder, go to votesaveamerica.com because you can,

we have a ballot tool that can,

you can fill out your ballot advance.

Derek,

your campaign told me that you're a sneaker head.

I can see that by the fact that you're wearing sneakers.

I did.

I designed these in the Nike store myself when I was high.

So we're going to put your sneaker head status up against some tennis shoes in a game we're calling Capital Heel.

Oh, I like it.

Oh, there we are.

Nice.

Nice.

I'll show you a pair of politician's shoes.

You tell us whose shoes they are.

It seems more complicated when I launched into the intro, but I promise you it's not, at least for your sake.

I hope it's not.

Are you ready?

I'm ready. First up, we have this iconic pair of Converse.
That's Kamala. No, that's not.
No, no, no. It is.
You gotta trust your instincts. This was the Vogue cover that caused an uproar because, I don't know.
I think she looks so cool in the picture. She does.
But there was an uproar about it. Do we have the other photo? There was another photo of part of it that was also very cool.
But anyway, that was Kamala. She was in another picture without sneakers, which was apparently better.
But I thought she was cool in this picture. I guess the face looks like a little....
I don't know. People had a problem with it.
Not me, though.

Next up,

Joan of Arc. More like

Joan of Arc support.

Hinge, what?

That doesn't even lead into this.

Alright, we have these shoes.

Oh, my goodness.

Help, help.

You guys know this?

You absolute fucking...

Yes! They know the shoes you freaks you media consuming wonderful people it's in texas is your hint they're whispering wendy wendy yeah that's right wendy this is wendy davis in her pink sneakers during her filibuster for 13 hours to block a vote on state Senate Bill 5. Interesting, during the filibuster sale, those specific shoes spiked on Amazon and the comment section descended into a debate about abortion.
It's like I always say, our entire country is in Amazon comment section debate on abortion. The bill eventually passed its subsequent Senate sessions.
And finally,

these dreamy, creamy statement wellies

That's DeSantis. That is DeSantis!

Florida

Governor Ron DeSantis.

Woo!

Remember that guy?

Now,

now your race

has been moved from leaning slightly Republican to being a toss-up. To what do you credit that shift? Me? Oh, good.
Yeah, yeah. Look, I think I put in the hard work.
The teams put in the hard work in making sure we get here. It's been quite a journey to get to this point.
But, you know, we've always knew that Steele is not the right fit for the district. And the people know that.
And the people of the district sees that she's done nothing for them. And they know that because she's voted against every single major piece of legislation that brought back opportunity and funding for the district.
So it's time to fire her from her job. And before we let you go, what is the most unheard or specific kind of question or concern you hear from the doors, from the knock on doors and talking to people? What is like not getting the attention it deserves? Look, I think every issue that I hear at the door is very important, right? You got the codification of Roe v.
Wade, make sure we get rid of the Dobbs decision. You have the economy that comes up constantly.
Rising prices at the grocery store, child tax credits. These are things that everyday Americans are facing.
And these are the things that I want to address when I get to Congress. And that's not being done by steel.
All right. Well, everybody, Derek Tran, where people go to volunteer? If you're in California, you're hearing this.
Drive to Derek's district. We'll be going out there.
I heard you won't be there. No, I will be there.
Oh, okay. What the fuck? Team? Team? I'll be there.
We're going to be out. We're going to be knocking on doors.
But if you're hearing this in Los Angeles, which is, we have a lot of people listening in Los Angeles. There's Derek's district.
There's a few other house districts that will determine whether or not we take back the house. The house is going to be won or lost in California and New York.

Whether you're in California or New York, there's Derek's district.

There's other districts where you can really make a difference.

But go knock on doors for Derek. We've got to win that seat.

Derek Tran for Congress.com. Thank you so much.

All right. We'll be right back.
Thank you.

With Bill Nye.

And we're back.

Who here is a millennial?

That checks out.

All right.

You know him.

You love him.

And you will need to chant Bill, Bill, Bill

whenever I point to you this evening.

Bill, Bill, Bill.

Open your hearts and if you're having a Roth IRA, what?

And give it up for the science guy himself.

It's Bill Nye. Bill Nye.
Bill Nye. Bill Nye.
Bill Nye. Bill Nye.
Bill Nye. Bill Nye.
Bill Nye. Bill Nye.
Bill Nye up for the science guy himself. It's Bill Nye.
Good to see you. Thanks for being here.
We love that song. Thanks for joining us.
Oh no, it is I who must thank you. So we were talking about this backstage, and the three-body problem has just not been solved.
Yeah, it has. I mean...
No. Okay.
By okay, I mean, okay. You talking about spacecraft navigating in the cosmos? Yeah, I say we.
Your tax dollars at work. What happened? What did we do on Sunday? We launched a mission to Europa, the moon of Jupiter, with twice as much ocean water as the Earth.
You have ocean water for four and a half billion years. Is there somebody living up there on Europa? Europanians? Swimming around? You think? Could be.
Microbes of Europa? It's a thing. If we discover life on another world, it will change this world.
Back to you. Sort of dodged my question about the three-body problem.
What do you want to know about three-body problem? Earth, moon, spacecraft. Yes, there is not an explicit answer, but you can iterate and do it well enough.
All right. Well, I guess.
Sure. What, am I speaking tonal languages here or something? The Hamiltonian? It's like the Lagrangian in time, you know? know hamiltonian yeah i always thought lagrange points were cool and that we should be uh putting stuff there we do put stuff there that's good so we have you guys talk about something we take for granted halo orbits the old analogy is the marble on top of the upside down mixing bowl.
Very hard. The marble is going to fall.
It's unstable. So you guys, Lagrange is where the motions are all in balance.
The forces are all in balance. So between the sun, the earth, and the moon, out there is a place where all the forces are in balance.
In between, there's a place we're in balance. Between Earth and the sun, there's a place we're in balance.
And because the whole thing is going around the sun, this is my around the sun impression. There's also Lagrange points out this way, either side of the orbit.
But it's very hard to be there because it's unstable. You'll fall off the upside-down mixing bowl.
So people put spacecraft in these halo orbits. That's what the description.
It's freaking rocket science, man. It is so difficult, and yet humankind does it all the time.
Meanwhile, we can't solve these problems on our own planet. They're much harder.
Yeah, that's frustrating. That's frustrating.
It's the incredible human curiosity and ingenuity coming head to head with our deepest flaws and egos and greed. And it's hard to see which one's going to ultimately win.
You can't. That's the three-body problem, you know? Yeah.
In a sense. In a sense.
Well, it's a hard-to-solve problem. I'll give you that.
Oh, love that song. I love that song.
So now... No, really, it's great.
One of the challenges we have is that there's a lot of people spreading a bunch of conspiracy theories.

It is a problem.

And you have been out there trying to kind of talk about the truth, get the truth out there.

Does it ever feel a little bit like shouting at a hurricane Democrats invented?

With the space lasers?

Yeah, because does it ever feel as though like, you you know we're not going to win this fight uh no no you have to be look everybody you have to be optimistic if you're not optimistic you're not going to get anything done all right you don't go into the game thinking you're going to lose. However, when you are behind, you have to hustle.

And so this, I will just go on and on about this.

This is the most important election in history.

So I'm so old.

How old are you?

So I remember, well said.

So I used to say that the election of 2000 was the most important election of my lifetime. Al Gore wins the popular vote, but he didn't become president.
And so we didn't do anything about climate change. And we've been kicking that can down the road into the future.
And the stakes each election, 2004, 2008, 2012, the stakes get higher and higher and now they're the highest they've ever been for all of us so please everybody vote and if you're thinking about voting for the other side vote on wednesday be sure to vote on wed. Bill Nye, you scamp.
But you guys respect, just respect that everybody has somebody in his or her family that is supportive of the other side. That there is another talk show where everybody's just as ticked off and just as cynical and just as mean-spirited as the next person.
And so they think that we're crazy. But we've got to work together and change the world.
And so with that, let us start with this election. We'll just start with that.
And then we'll take a meeting on all these other

problems along about November 6th. I feel like part of the challenge with getting people to

vote on climate change is not just the people that deny it, but also the people that believe

in it, but feel a bit overwhelmed and feel anxiety and feel like it's unsolvable or we've already

passed the point of no return. But you don't believe that.
No, no. So everybody, the latest

Thank you. and feel like it's unsolvable or we've already passed the point of no return.
But you don't believe that. No.
No. So everybody, the latest scientific publications suggest that there's not a tipping point.
There's no place of no return. It's just going to get hotter and hotter and spookier and spookier indefinitely.
So the sooner we stop pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, the sooner we can turn this thing around. So let's get going, you all.
Come on. Are there some technologies that you're particularly excited about? Oh, yes.
Yes. I'm excited.
I'm not joking, you all. So I'm like so many people i'm into physics and so you know what we say what do we say everything happens for a reason and that reason is usually physics it's always physics study of motion and energy so i think it's always when i was, nuclear fusion, this would be the smashing of protons together, overcoming the strong atomic force, releasing all this energy, heat, energy, photons like this, was always 40 years away.
Every year it was 40 more years, 40 more years. Well, I've traveled the world a little bit.
I think it's more like 20 years or 15 years.

Cold fusion?

Not cold fusion.

No, seriously, you guys, just for fundamental understanding,

those were people who I think thought that their deity was influencing their role on Earth,

and they just had instruments in the wrong place and presume, but it was such hype, right? Yeah, cold fusion. The cold fusion you're still talking about.
It was in the movie The Saints starting Val Kilmer. Say it again? Val Kilmer was in a movie called The Saints.
Yes. Elizabeth, she was a scientist with kind of asthma.
That's not enough proof for you, yeah. She had asthma.
Elizabeth has something else, heart things. So anyway, what you need is really, really hot fusion.
Oh, no. Sounds dangerous.
So do you know the definition of temperature, roughly? Yeah, but they don't. How fast things are moving.
Yes. Hell yeah.
It's the energy. I'm smarter than I look, sound, and talk.
Yes, which is amazing. To take it up another level.
I think we're all just, wow. So, I mean, how can I'm on the spot? Now, we got to get these.
So, a thermometer goes up because the atoms molecules hit it, and the faster they're going when they hit it, the more the temperature goes up. So we have to get these particles going really fast and smash them into each other, and we have to contain it in a magnetic field.
This is everybody's idea. It's five or six, a dozen places around the world are trying this in different forms, but it may very well be.
What's everybody's greatest fear now? Yes. AI.
Oh. I was going to say, you wake up naked in a classroom and you haven't even taken the class, and it's the final.
Well, what's the class about? Maybe statistics.

Oh, yeah, that would be troubling.

So hard.

Because even if it's open book, you're not going to get it.

So counterintuitive, yeah. You're right.
That's taken that dream up another level of probability. So it is reasonable that containing these moving particles will take a magnetic field that not only responds to the wiggling of the jello of this plasma where all the electrons are dissociated from the atoms, but anticipating where they would be moving.
And so artificial intelligence systems controlling the magnetic field may solve the problem and peoples if we got fusion here on earth we could in the next say 50 years or 70 years have electricity for everybody all the time do all the chat gbt and you want man go crazy oh it can solve that problem. Oh, it's getting worse.
It's very reasonable. I'm very excited about it.
But we have a problem. You know NIMBY? Yeah.
Not in my backyard. Are you hip to banana? Build banana.
Build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything. Yeah.
When you have a society that has that attitude, it's just hard to solve problems. So stay tuned.
So another question I had, how do you feel about geoengineering? You guys. I'm curious.
I'm an engineer. We start out thinking we can solve any problem with science.
But when you start messing with stuff in the atmosphere and you start reflecting sunlight into space, what happens when you stop? Very troubling. Termination shock.
Isn't that what it's called? Termination shock. It uh could be uh very thought i had it it could really it could really suck if you know that term and uh it's just i think i'm afeard that it's wishful thinking so what happened was uh volcanoes go off once in a while and these particles go in the sky and they cool things off.
But if you're a while, and these particles go in the sky, and they cool things off.

But if you're a volcano, and you want to affect Earth's climate, you really have to be near the equator. That's really, if you're just like Mount St.
Helens or something, you have a little bit of effect, but you're too far north. Stupid Mount St.
Helens. Well, she did what she could, you know.
Yeah. so anyway

this Stupid Mount St. Helens.
Well, she did what she could. Yeah.
So anyway, this idea that you could take that same phenomenon and control Earth's climate in a way that governments around the world would agree upon is challenging. I read about it in a book.
Want to know what the book was called? Yes. It's called Termination Shock.
Oh, good. Okay.
And people were so mad about messing with the climate in it. Yes, yes.
Understandable. But we're messing with the climate and people are only somewhat angry about it.
So you guys, if you're, you know, my heart goes out to people in Florida and in North Carolina and so on. But, man, you can't get insurance.
You know, your house is washed away. You've lost everything and you don't have flood insurance.
And where are you going to go? What are you going to do, man? We got to work together on this. Did I mention voting? You did mention it.
Yeah, good. Yeah, my parents are in Florida.
I don't know how far they can get in that Cybertruck. So you guys, does anybody have a Cybertruck? Anyway, I just wonder, you know, people, you cross paths with people, I describe them, people who work for a living and use trucks, like people who paint houses, mow lawns, repair things, build stuff.
They drive trucks. How many of those people drive cyber trucks? I just, I'm open-minded, man.
Based on the number of them in Beverly Hills, I would say the ratio is not where Elon would want it to be. So look, you guys, I gave, back in the day, at the Planetary Society, the world's largest non-governmental space interest organization advancing space science and exploration so that the system of Earth will know the cosmos and our planet's human.
Illuminati, fucking Illuminati shit. No.
That's where you guys are pulling the fucking strings, Bill Nye. It was started by Carl Sagan.
Making the, oh yeah, another one, making the hurricanes. So, it was started by Carl Sagan.
Billions and billions of lies. Took one class from Carl Sagan.
You hear my little reference? Never mind. And so Elon Musk was at one of our meetings.
He was on a board of directors. This was 17 years ago when he was building the Falcon 1, trying to get this rocket to fly because he's into it.
He wants to go to Mars, this and that. And at that time, he was introduced as, this is Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.

Hi, I'm Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.

Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.

It wasn't even hyphenated.

It was all one word.

Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.

And he was like this regular guy with whom you could talk.

And I was trying to be cool.

I said, well, what's the specific impulse of this Falcon? He said 300 seconds. And it's like, whoa, dude, he's into physics.
And so I gave him a ride to the airport. I'm not joking you, peoples.
And I admit, I let him off at a part of LAX that I didn't even know was there. It was, he had, you know, custom flight.
What do you call it? Private jet. That's cool.
jet that's cool anyway well i just wonder everybody what's going on with that guy and is he going off on this tangent because he wants deregulation for his rockets in texas and for whatever is going on with the securities and exchange commission that he's got going and what he's got going on

with the Federal Communications Commission. I just wonder if his head's really in the game right now or if he's trying to make sure he gets his legal stuff taken care of.
So he's just, Man, he has gone, as we say in compasses, 180.

Man.

Bill.

No. He has gone, as we say in compasses, 180.
Man. Bill.
No, it's a really, it's like. I know.
It's jaw dropping. It is jaw dropping.
But speaking of jaw dropping, we have a segment we're calling Bill Nye, Just Some Guy. Oh, yeah, good.
Yes. And here's how it works.

I'm going to give you a non-scientific topic.

Yes. It might be paranormal.

It might be extraterrestrial.

It might be the chupacabra.

And our request is that you try to give us the most scientific, plausible explanation

for that phenomenon.

I'm not asking you to debunk the idea.

At the same time, you don't need to confirm any of it is real.

But if it were real, how could you explain it scientifically?

Sure, sure.

All right.

You have to be better at chanting.

You've absolutely panicked.

Yeah, and then in a group like this,

you know, you got to have that descending tone.

First up, we're going to start with the UFOs. In April 2020, the Pentagon released three unclassified naval videos of unidentified aerial phenomenon.
I could barely get it together to bang my pots out a window, and I love doing that. So I don't think that we're ready to reckon with otherworldly visitors.
But if you did believe that UFOs were real, how would you justify it scientifically? Well, I would just, of course, send them a binary signal based on the resonance of the hydrogen atom. I mean, how hard could it be? And so, because any alien is going to recognize you, they're going to get this tone, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and they'll just know that that's obviously a binary signal that has some geometric origin, and what would it be based on? The most common element in the universe, which is? Hydrogen! Yes, I love you all.
And so, in just five or ten minutes, U.S., or rather, Earth minutes, an alien will be all over it. And so this is, you know, the gold records that are on the Voyager spacecraft.
That's sort of the premise of the bit. Any alien will find this record, play it at 16 and a half revolutions per Earth minute, get the sounds of whales and people in love and Chuck Berry doing Johnny B.
Good and then we'll all be intergalactic or rather intra galactic buddies. Yeah.
Well, they could be. Do you think wormholes could be a way to get around the speed of light limit? Well, get around the old speed of light limit.
It sucks. It ruins everything.
It sucks. I hate the speed of light.
Yeah. Actually, I think I'm okay with it.
I grew up with it, you know. It's been part of my everyday experience.
Day, see? You got it. Thanks.
So it doesn't bother me. I don't think, you know, hey, who doesn't love Wrinkle in Time? Tesseract, we take the ends of the string and put them together.
So there you are. You can go anywhere in the universe just by jumping through the wormhole.
I'm open-minded but skeptical. Keep in mind that black holes, these stars that have so much gravity, how much gravity do they have, light can't even, you're behaded, light can't even escape.
They would kill you on the way in. You would be, the fabulous verb is spaghettified.
The gravity at your feet, the gradient between your feet and your head would be so hard, so strong, you would be stretched into, you know, a 50 kilometer long string of death. Disagree.
You say disagree? I don't think that's what happens. Well, what do you think happens? No, it's something else.
Oh, cool. Maybe you end up in another part of the universe at another time.
That's what I was hoping. And that would be cool.
But can you control it? I don't know. One thing in the movie- Why don't you just go in real slow? It's hard to do.
You got to go in just at an angle, real slow. You got to go in real slow.
Try it. Really slow, but go feel fast.
Well, that's the gravity assist. Yeah, well, let us know how it goes.
I'll stay out here and uh we won't even know what

happens to you because the light couldn't get out whoa unless that unless i pop out unless i pop out a few minutes earlier here and then i run in and i'm like oh no but then that would have always it happened.

Yeah.

What about that?

Well, what if there was a wormhole that then sent you back in time would you be able to do it so there's a there's a a theory where you can build a machine, but you can only go back to when the time machine was invented. What a ripoff, man.
I'm sorry. Well, obviously.
Freaking universe. It's stupid.
Fuck you, Cosmos. Sorry, man.
There are rules for those of us here on earth and everything yeah some of my best friends are

here yeah and also some people i hate i notice that is there any way that you could come up with a scientifically plausible explanation for why horoscopes are real uh yeah it's very reasonable me that people have sex at different times of year. And so the kids they have are born in different times of year.
And so they show up with different personalities because their parents are in a different mood at different times of year. That was always my only plausible explanation, too, that if you're born in the summer and you miss, you don't get a birthday cake on your day at school, but I, but only on the summer cake day that you share, it makes you a little weird, which is why summer birthdays, present company included, seek so much attention.
And then there are the people born around Christmas and they are either wallflowers or the craziest motherfuckers you'll ever meet. there a gradient that is to say between midsummer and christmas uh isaac newton's birthday where uh in britain yeah is there a gradient between severe disappointment and fucking crazy yeah yeah i think it's a smooth curve, yeah.
A smooth curve.

So you should publish a treatise on this.

I should.

So, you know, there's an old saying in skeptic thought or critical thinking.

Everybody loves critical thinking nowadays.

It used to be, when I was a kid,

that used to be called logic or reasoning or something.

No, but critical thinking is a phrase right now.

That's good.

It means the habit, or it refers to the habit of mind

of evaluating evidence.

And so one of the turns of phrase that we love in this skeptic world is correlation is not causation. This is to say just because you're born in the summertime crazy holiday thing correlates doesn't mean that the horoscope caused it.
The planets caused it. Would you say that me being a bit needy caused the summer? So what makes me skeptical of that claim is my understanding is you're quite a bit younger than my parents and my parents reported experience summer summer every year right right right for some reason i don't know why that would be i wouldn't be curious about it uh now before we go bill you're going we're just revving up the climate you you started bill nye the climate guy on your instagram to urge people to vote with the climate in mind.
These videos are part of Climate Power's Too Hot Not to Vote campaign. A campaign Vote Save America is also supporting.
So we really wanted to premiere the next video. Oh, thank you.
We have the next video. Let's play it.
Roll that tape. The Earth is getting warm.
The climate is changing worldwide. There are more floods, more droughts, more fires and less ice.
Our planet is getting hotter and hotter. We need to take action.
We need to be creating new jobs. The clean energy plan is just the start.
And if you're on the fence, get off it. Because one side of the fence is a bright green future for all humankind.
The other side will lead us to an oily, dry death. I'm not kidding, people.
Vote. Your future is in your hands.
Register on those electric phone machines of yours. Go to TooHotNotToGoat.com and learn how to vote early for your stuff.
I like that. So we did.
Thank you, man. Thank you for showing that.
This is a world premiere, you all. We're at the premiere.
So thank you. We did six videos with Too Hot Not To Vote.
It's like toy boat, toy boat, Too Hot Not To Vote. And we have them come out every week up to the election.
There'll be a couple bonus sprinkled in on election day or the day before. So everybody, it's really important.
You know, there's a lot of things on everybody's mind. This business of women's rights, control of your bodies, trying to suppress the vote in a lot of districts in the United States.
These are important issues. They're racial or ancestral issues that are important, but the climate is really important and young people are concerned about it.
So it's too hot not to vote. Carry on.
Yes. It's like you can choose a clean energy future or a dry, oily death.
And it's like dry, oily death is that if Trump wins or my combination skin. All right.
Are you a summer? You are a summer. You bet I am.
You did the colors. You bet I am.
So that's why you don't wear blue or something like that.

Something like that. He's got pink shoes.
He's a summer. He's a summer.
Proof of the paranormal.

I'm satisfied.

I believe in ghosts now.

Ghosts. TooHotNotToVote.com

Check your registration status. Make a plan to

vote and learn about your candidates. Climate

records. When we come back,

it's time to spin the wheel.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and's time to spin the wheel.
end. Metaphorically, of course.
I mean, they can't actually hold your hand in person. I suppose you could hold your computer mouse while you chat with the expert about capital gains or whatever, which is sort of like holding hands.
Sorry, point is, our tax experts can make filing easier. Tax Act.
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Please welcome Jim and Derek back to the stage. Oh, good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gentlemen.
Good to see you. Welcome back.
Good to see you. Another handshake.
Another handshake.

All right. Here we are.

In the spirit of Trump putting his foot down and doing what we all wish we had the courage to do,

canceling on plans last minute no matter the consequences,

we're going to play a game called

Cancel and Gretel.

We'll each take a spin of the wheel

and share one event that everyone should be able to skip.

No questions asked.

Now to the wheel. I forgot when I was a witch.
And I was so mean to you guys when you came by my candy house. Oh.
Jim, it's landed on you. Okay.
What is something you think everybody should be able to cancel on or skip? I think we should be able to cancel small talk. Like if you're at a party, which is my pet, you know, and you're in small talk with someone, you know, and we're in the middle of it and you're just like, we know how we are.
we just go, you know, I'm a numbing so I'm clicked to cancel this. Well, what happens when you can't, what happens, do you leave? I think that's just understood.
Like, we're done. Let's move on to, let's move past the small talk and get to the really good stuff.
So what's the really good stuff? How to resolve a two-state solution? Well, absolutely. I really want to, I really want to dig deep into that part.
I would say that's big talk. Maybe there's medium talk.
What? That was big talk. There's small talk's a no, big talk's challenging.
Maybe there's medium talk. Yeah.
What do you think of the new Stingray Corvette body style? Is that medium? Yeah. What I love is that I would go probably to the Corvettes.
Is that where I'm going next? Yeah, you go right to Corvettes. That's a classic thing for me.
Enough about the weather. I go, hey, how are you? Corvettes, am I right? Oh, I know what you're saying.
And by then, I'm off to that Tuesday. I just find that, you know, you go to the parties now and it's like impossible because you walk in and you find yourself an hour later still staying in the same place because you're seeing this is people that you know.
These are your friends and they haven't seen you in a while. And you start with, how are you? How are you? Oh, my God.
And then you say something like, oh, my God, I saw you went camping because they saw you on Instagram. I did go camping, which you already know.
Then someone inevitably comes over and they don't wait. They just say, hey, how are you? Hey, I saw you went camping.
Now you're going to hear the goddamn camping story again. So I would just say, I'm out.
Small talk canceled. And then we go, ah, we relax and we talk about Corvettes.
It's like we're still doing the weaving segment. We are.
We're always weaving. This show is a nonstop weave thing.
We're learning a lot about it. We, but I agree with you.
There are also people that have this deft touch to say, please excuse me. And I marvel at them.
There are people that can extract themselves from a conversation effortlessly. Don't try it right now, Bill.
I see that look in your eyes. I see it.
Don't try it. Don't you dare.
It'll hurt my feelings.

For the second time tonight.

All right.

How did I hurt your feelings?

No, Derek hurt my feelings.

Can you blame me? You never hurt my feelings. A little bit you hurt my feelings.
Let's spin it again. Derek, what's something you'd like to cancel?

What about reality TVs that kick you off

on the first episode?

That's for you, John.

No, that's for you.

Wow, pandering.

He flipped it.

You got it back.

I liked it.

That's why he's going to win. That's why he's gonna be win that 45th district and then surround Disney and have them right where we want them we're gonna get that get that kingdom I support that alright let's spin it again oh shot what can you believe it? It's just amazing.
It's landed on Bill Nye. It was perfect.
One on each other. Wow.
It's almost as if the wheel is stupid. And there's no function in this.
No, no. So I say if people have put you in an arranged marriage and there's a date selected, I think you could cancel on that.
Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be an example.
I think that's a really important point. I'll go even further.
Yeah. I think basically as a society, we should just have a, if you cancel your wedding, everyone's fine with it.
Because, and no one makes a big deal out of it. And even though it's a lot of money and a lot of plans, everyone just goes, you know what? If you cancel this wedding, you have your reasons.
We're not even going to bring it up again. Everybody, because there are people that go through weddings because they're afraid to cancel the wedding because of how much problems it would cause to cancel the wedding.
But then you know what they are? Married. Oh, tell us about that.
I don't know about that. I know about not getting married.
I don't know about getting married yet. But my point is, people should just be able to cancel weddings because then people wouldn't go through weddings that they didn't want to go through because of the pressure that comes along with canceling them.

No, right on.

That's all I'm saying.

We are in agreement.

You'll blow it up.

Especially if it's arranged, right? Someone else puts you in this position.

Well, every wedding is arranged.

Once you cancel that wedding,

you get in that Corvette and you just drive.

And you just go camping.

And you just live your life.

Carry on.

Sorry, I was looking for a topper, but the Corvette was pretty good.

Well, that was yours.

I took it.

It was a weave.

All right, let's spin it again oh shot I have a very this may be too specific there's a lot of gyms and gym classes where when you sign up there's this moment 12 hours before where you have to decide whether you're in or you're out and it sucks that because it's like i want to decide in the morning and i would like to have some sort of way of arranging with a place say look i won't cancel all the time i'll show up a lot of the time but please a 15 charge because i just don't want to go it's too much it's too much i hate that Because then I go and I don't want to go. It's too much.
It's too much. I hate that, because then I go, and I don't want to go.
For me, don't you get there, and once it starts, you feel pretty good? Yeah. And you're glad you did it? Yeah, no, I am.
So you're just this anxiety, man. But I would like the option.
Yeah. I feel manipulated.
So what if it were, instead of $15, what if it were $5? Well, the problem is, you know, they know you. They know them.
I'll pay $5 every goddamn, $5 is a snooze fee. You know, there's a penalty and a fee are basically the same thing.
A parking ticket is really just a parking fee if you're in the right headspace. Yes, there's a lot of people that feel that way.
Yes, about parking tickets. Yes, there are people who feel that way.
Not, I mean, I've heard. So if it were Do you drive till nine? Do you drive? Yeah.
A car? Yes. Well, yeah, it's just hard to imagine.
Why? I don't know.

So I'm so old.

No, no, no.

It's not an age thing.

It's not an age thing.

I grew up driving a stick shift.

Do you drive a stick shift?

Obviously not.

Look at how I'm now.

No, no, because I'm of a certain age.

But now, an electric car, you don't...

There's nothing to shift.

I just...

So, you know, that's...

My grandfather rode a horse in World War I,

but you don't need to do that anymore.

Right, no. You don't need to drive a stick shift anymore so yes i drive a car and it's great uh i don't get any plug for this why not but i have a chevy bolt okay a chevrolet and it's not the tesla with dual motors or the corvette with the camping option.
Yeah, you know I have that.

What is it?

It follows the car in front of you.

It stays in the lane.

You can take your hands off the steering wheel,

light up your cigarette or whatever it is. Wait, what?

And it just drives down the road,

and it's much safer than watching as a human and trying to react. And so the future is cars are going to drive themselves and will be productive in a way in the backseat.
This started off about how you do drive. It ended on how the car drives for you.
Do you smoke cigarettes, Bill Nye? No, no. So on camera, you guys, I smoked one cigarette, about half a cigarette.
How do you guys do that? Don't do it. Man, I am not cut out for that.
How do you guys do it? Like we're out just smoking a pack? Well, you guys are, yeah. Wait, what? What circumstances were you smoking a cigarette? National Geographic thing.
National Geographic? About climate change. And this is where I got to do a scene with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And at one point in the show, I got to say, I'll be back. It was cool.
So Schwarzenegger, you guys, between takes, plays chess with his buddy from Austria. And how to describe? He plays chess hard.

Like, boom.

That's really cool.

He's just that guy.

He's quite charming.

A digression?

I don't think he smokes either.

Back to you.

I mean, that's a weave.

And that's a weave.

It was beautiful.

It was a beautiful weave. That was a beautiful weave.
It came together. I saw it and it just came together.
It came right back. I mean, when you went from Bolt to I think you're in a self-driving car to you only smoke half cigarette.
Apparently, we smoke a pack a day. Then Arnold's working a...
Oh my God, I lost it. And he's playing chess.
He plays it hard. He plays it hard.
And that's whatever we call it. Cancel and Gretel.
A segment we all remember. When we come back, Len on a high note.
And we're back because we all need it this week. Here is our high note.
Hey, Lovett. This is Iowa State Representative J.D.
Scholten. Being the only Democrat at the Iowa Capitol in 32 counties in Northwest Iowa isn't always easy, but I wanted to share some good news.
This past summer, I became the first person to play professional baseball while still being in office. And my high note is that this week, I had three different teammates reach out to me to tell me that they're going to be voting for Kamala.
Two of them weren't going to be voting and the other was going to be voting for Trump. So as a reminder, talk to your friends, people.
This race is going to come down the wire and remember to vote down ballot. Thank you.
My high note this week is celebrating the fourth birthday of my bakery here in Boston. We were slated to open in April of 2020 when the pandemic hit really hard and construction and everything else got delayed.
So we didn't open until October. And it was brutal.
But once we opened, the community really embraced us. Since then, we've built an incredible team, made some really great relationships with neighbors, and I'm very proud of the work that we do, the food that we make, and the service that we provide.
I also, this summer, gave birth to my first child, Clementine, and I was only able to do that as a small business owner because of our team and my sister, who's our operations manager, being able to run the business in my absence. It is very special for a small business owner to be able to take a family paternity, maternity leave, and spend that special time with their child.
So I am very grateful for that opportunity and for the people who made that possible. So lots of things to celebrate, feeling very emotional upon reflection.
And it's not just the postpartum hormones, but truly a high note of the week and a high note of the year. Thanks, everybody, who shared a high note tonight.
If you want to send us a message, but something that made you feel hopeful, send a voice memo to lowly high notes at crooked.com where you can leave it in the discord. That is our show.
Thank you. Hold it.
You're going to introduce the high note and nobody's going to go. Well, you just, you just did.
You did it. You just did.
I was just, I was leaning into it. Do you want to take it again? Yeah.
All right. Here it is.
The high note. One, two, three.
Comedy is that simple, people. That's our show.
Thank you so much to Jim Rash, Derek Tran, and Bill Nye. There are 16.
Oh my God. There are 16 days until the 2024 election.
Have a great night and have a great

weekend.

Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer.
And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer.
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Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals,

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Tax Act knows filing your taxes can be complicated, and that's why we have live experts to help you with any questions. They can hold your hand through the process beginning to end.
Metaphorically, of course.

I mean, they can't actually hold your hand in person.

I suppose you could hold your computer mouse while you chat with the expert about capital gains or whatever, which is sort of like holding hands.

Sorry, point is, our tax experts can make filing easier.

Tax Act.

Let's get them over with.