Lovett or Weave It

Speaker 3 the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 4 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in hybrid and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

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Speaker 13 Let's go places. See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

Speaker 14 Hello, Los Angeles.

Speaker 14 Welcome to Love It or Leave It. This episode is dedicated to the phishing scammers currently holding my inbox hostage if I don't send Scout Walls $500 by midnight.

Speaker 14 But midnight Moscow time, not Minnesota time.

Speaker 15 I don't know.

Speaker 14 I didn't ask too many questions. Tonight on the show, Jim Rash is here.

Speaker 14 To weave a Trumpian word tapestry, congressional candidate Derek Tran lets out his inner shoe lock homes. Sucks.

Speaker 14 And the one and only Bill Nye stops by to try and supply reasons why lies might not be nigh with a GH, different word.

Speaker 14 There we all have plans to spin a wheel, but uh, might not make it.

Speaker 14 But first, let's get into it. What a week.

Speaker 14 on Monday night. After his town hall in Pennsylvania was twice interrupted by medical emergencies in the crowd, Trump ended the QA early, saying, Who the hell wants to hear questions, right?

Speaker 14 Continued Trump.

Speaker 17 Let me hear that music, please.

Speaker 18 Everyone, let's thank President Trump.

Speaker 19 God bless you.

Speaker 19 Let's send President Trump back to the White House.

Speaker 14 I want to hear questions, such as: Is he he okay?

Speaker 14 What's going on? Why is this race tied?

Speaker 14 It's really hitting me this week.

Speaker 14 But Trump didn't leave the stage. At one point, he said he would take another question, change his mind, called Democrats evil, and then asked his team to crank YMCA.

Speaker 17 And those two people that went down are patriots, and we love them.

Speaker 17 And because of them, we ended up with some good music, right? Right?

Speaker 17 So play YMCA. Go ahead.
Let's go. Nice and loud

Speaker 14 and then

Speaker 14 he just stood there swinging for song after song for 39

Speaker 14 minutes

Speaker 14 And he remained mostly silent only occasionally interrupting his swing to say could a guy with dementia do this

Speaker 14 39 minutes.

Speaker 14 To help us all grasp just how long 39 minutes is, we've brought in a separate screen here to play Trump's full music appreciation session silently in real time for the next 39 minutes of the show.

Speaker 14 All right.

Speaker 14 Everybody, the 39 minutes has begun. We'll keep tabs on it.

Speaker 14 And if at home it is shorter than 39 minutes, well, you can thank this team for tightening the fuck out of the show after I'm out of your shot.

Speaker 14 Meanwhile, Trump backed out of a planned interview with CNBC this week, along with an NBC interview and an NRA town hall, this after canceling on 60 Minutes earlier this month.

Speaker 14 Said Trump, get back to me when it's called 60 Minutes of Uninterrupted Dancing.

Speaker 14 Also, I can't believe Trump turned down the chance to appear on Squawkbox, considering it's also the pet name he's given each of his wives.

Speaker 14 In all seriousness, it really does seem like something's going on with him, on top of all of the things we know to be going on with him.

Speaker 14 Trump did show up for an interview with Bloomberg at the Economic Club of Chicago on Tuesday, which didn't exactly put questions about his mental acuity to rest.

Speaker 14 Trump repeatedly rambled while answering questions, and when called out by Bloomberg, editor-in-chief John Micklethwaite claimed that his digressions were a purposeful tactic called the weave.

Speaker 17 So let me just tell you. No, I'm just telling you basic, it's called the weave.
It's all these different things happening.

Speaker 14 Said Trump to Micklethwaite, when it seems like I'm making a mistake, I'm actually doing something very calculated, Mr. Pickleball.

Speaker 14 In between his incoherent rantings on stage in Chicago, Trump took this swipe at Kamala Harris.

Speaker 17 I took two cognitive tests, and I aced them both. I think people should take cognitive tests not because of the age, but because of something else.
Now, here's the problem.

Speaker 17 They say it's unconstitutional, okay? But I would love to see cognitive tests. I don't think she could pass a cognitive test.

Speaker 14 Bragging about passing a cognitive test for a presidential candidate is a lot like bragging about passing a field sobriety test. Like, okay, but why are we taking the test? What's the concern here?

Speaker 14 It's not something you brag about. It's something you quietly tell your wife while counting your blessings.

Speaker 14 But then you remember, the only wife you've ever truly loved is birdie in the golf course with that signed photo of your grandpa and Hitler.

Speaker 14 Anyway, this entire election is a cognitive test for all of us. And as of now, it is not clear whether or not this country can draw a fucking clock.

Speaker 14 That's what this election is. That's what it is.
America, draw a clock.

Speaker 14 On Wednesday, Trump at his Fox News town hall taking questions from an all-women audience. An audience that Fox News did not mention was mostly comprised of area Trump supporters.

Speaker 14 He mostly repeated his various blood libels and then his claim that everyone was thrilled when Roe was overturned. But upon hearing a question about IVF, Trump said this.

Speaker 21 You don't hear that.

Speaker 21 I'm the father of IVF.

Speaker 22 Yuck.

Speaker 14 And then, moments later, he admitted that Senator Katie Britt, who he made sure to mention he finds hot, had to explain to him what IVF was in February of this year.

Speaker 17 So I got a call from Katie Britt, a young, just a fantastically attractive person from Alabama. She's a senator.
And I said, explain IVS, very, IVF, very quickly.

Speaker 17 And within about two minutes, I understood it.

Speaker 14 This might seem like a contradiction until you remember that to Trump, being a father of something means not knowing or caring about it even a little bit until it affects you personally.

Speaker 14 Trump had a tougher time at Univision, which is Spanish for Univision.

Speaker 14 At this town hall that was not stacked with adoring fans, he got some gotchas, which I'm going to play at 1.25 speed.

Speaker 25 I am a Republican, no longer registered, though. You know, what happened during January 6th

Speaker 25 and the fact that you waited so long to take action while your supporters were attacking the Capitol.

Speaker 25 Coronavirus, I thought the public was misled during coronavirus and that many, many more lives could have been saved.

Speaker 9 I'm curious how people so close to you and your administration no longer want to support you. So why would I want to support you? You know, your own vice president doesn't want to support you now.

Speaker 14 What's Spanish for plant?

Speaker 21 All right.

Speaker 14 It's planta. I I know.

Speaker 14 I remember all the cognates.

Speaker 14 That's what my Spanish teacher called me in high school. King of the cognate.

Speaker 14 Could find my way to a cognate beautifully. Now I sound like Trump.

Speaker 16 Trump?

Speaker 14 Trump took a deep breath and replied, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. To win back your trust, it's going to take some very intense, very sustained dancing.

Speaker 14 In the most telling campaign moment of the week, here's Trump's response to to the part about January 6th and the audience's extremely skeptical reaction.

Speaker 17 Action was taken, strong action. Ashley Babbitt was killed.
Nobody was killed. There were no guns then.

Speaker 17 But that was a day of love from the standpoint of the millions,

Speaker 17 hundreds of thousands.

Speaker 14 Taking a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk is one of the rarer love languages,

Speaker 14 but it's love nonetheless. Speaking of God complexes, Kamala Harris joined Charlemagne the God for an interview on Tuesday and pushed back on critics who say she's too scripted.

Speaker 29 Now, you know, one thing they've been saying, a lot of your press hits get criticized.

Speaker 30 You know, folks say you come off as very scripted. They say you like to stick to your talking points.
And some media says you have.

Speaker 31 That would be called discipline.

Speaker 14 I like that. I like that.

Speaker 14 Like, we want our politicians to be completely 100% unscripted, never make a mistake, always be 100% authentic, repeat their speech over and over and over again, but not in a way that is pointed out to us.

Speaker 14 Stupid.

Speaker 14 Sorry, Vice President Harris. Discipline isn't a concept we know anymore.

Speaker 14 We're watching TikToks on our phones instead of paying attention to the TV show we put on, instead of finishing our book, instead of doing our tasks.

Speaker 14 Having discipline in 2024 is like being fluent in Latin.

Speaker 29 Impressive, but to what end?

Speaker 14 During the interview, Harris took aim at Trump's supposed projection of strength.

Speaker 32 When in fact, the man is really quite weak. He's weak.

Speaker 32 It's a sign of weakness that you want to please dictators and seek their flattery and favor. It's a sign of weakness that you would demean America's military and America's service members.

Speaker 32 It's a sign of weakness that you don't have the courage to stand up for the Constitution of the United States and the principles upon which it stands.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Some people are just really good on the phone.

Speaker 14 Trump is that special kind of weak and unfit, the type that fails to open a jar and then says, I loosened it for you.

Speaker 14 And the next person gets it. Speaking of not loose, Kamala Harris sat down with Fox News's Brett Baer on Wednesday night.
Good for Kamala, right into the lion's dead.

Speaker 14 Sure, the lions are fantastically wealthy liars with poorly placed Botox, but still lions.

Speaker 14 Baer asked Harris if she thought that Trump supporters were stupid. Misguided the 50%?

Speaker 2 Are they stupid?

Speaker 14 Brett Baer like Elmer Fudd here putting a carrot under a box held up by a fucking stick. But will democracy's Bugs Bunny in a pussybow blouse fall for his trap?

Speaker 32 God, I would never say that about the American people.

Speaker 32 And in fact, if you listen to Donald Trump, if you watch any of his rallies, he's the one who tends to demean and belittle and diminish the American people. He's the one who talks about an enemy

Speaker 32 within, an enemy within, talking about the American people, suggesting he would turn the American military on the American people.

Speaker 14 Nailed it. So Kambo doesn't take the bait to create

Speaker 14 a little deplorable sequel and points out that it's Trump targeting Americans. But Bayer responded with this.

Speaker 14 Question to the former president today, Harris Faulkner, had a town hall, and this is how he responded.

Speaker 17 I heard about that. They were saying I was like threatening.
I'm not threatening anybody. They're the ones doing the threatening.
They do phony investigations.

Speaker 17 I've been investigated more than Alphonse Capone. He was the greatest nank.

Speaker 33 No, it's true.

Speaker 23 But think of it.

Speaker 17 It's called weaponization of government. It's a terrible thing.

Speaker 14 Now, instead of playing the clip Kamala is talking about, Bear played a clip where Trump tries to downplay his own repeated comments, which Kamala helpfully pointed out.

Speaker 32 Brett, I'm sorry, and with all due respect, that clip was not what he has been saying about the enemy within that he has repeated when he's speaking about the American people.

Speaker 32 That's not what you just showed.

Speaker 9 He was asked to say that.

Speaker 32 That's not what you just showed, in all fairness and respect to the fact that you're not going to be able to do the question that we asked him. He didn't show that, and here's the bottom line.

Speaker 32 He has repeated it many times, and you and I both know that. And you and I both know that he has talked about turning the American military on the American people.

Speaker 32 He has talked about going after people who are engaged in peaceful protest. He has talked about locking people up because they disagree with him.
This is a democracy.

Speaker 27 Yes.

Speaker 14 In fact, the clip Bear played to downplay or pretend Trump had walked back his comments actually came moments after he says exactly what Kamala Harris was talking about.

Speaker 14 This is what Brett Baer cut around.

Speaker 17 It is the enemy from within, and they're very dangerous. They're Marxists and communists and fascists and they're sick.

Speaker 17 I use a guy like Adam Schiff because they made up the Russia-Russia-Russia hooks. It took two years to solve the problem.
Absolutely nothing was done wrong, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 17 They're dangerous for our country. We have China, we have Russia, we have all these countries.
If you have a smart president, they can all be handled. Handled.

Speaker 14 They've gotten so soft over there at Fox News, endlessly interviewing Trump about how reasonably priced his watches are and how sweet his kisses taste. Well, now they've finally met their match.

Speaker 14 a woman with a working short-term memory.

Speaker 14 Fresh off her Donnie Brooke with Brett Bear, Kamala got this line off on some MAGA hecklers attending her rally in Wisconsin on Thursday.

Speaker 19 Oh, you guys are at the wrong rally.

Speaker 29 No, I think you meant to go to the smaller one down the street.

Speaker 29 Nice. Nice.

Speaker 14 Hey, we're still having fun. We're strapped to a rock getting our eyes pecked out by Eagles, but we're goofing.
We're goofing on the Eagles and we're having a good time.

Speaker 14 Speaking of people trapped between this world and the next, former President Jimmy Carter, who celebrated his

Speaker 14 100th birthday earlier this month, successfully casts his vote for Kamala Harris on Wednesday with a mail-in ballot. Can I tell you what my first thought was? Sincerely?

Speaker 14 Carter dies between now and Election Day. Georgia comes down to one vote.
We can't verify his signature.

Speaker 36 I'm not sleeping well.

Speaker 14 The Prilosec is only kind of working. I see one more poll that makes no sense.
Jimmy Carter may outlive me.

Speaker 14 Carter told his son Chip back in August, I'm only trying to make it to vote for Kamala Harris. Said Chip, what'd you say, Dad, as he looked up from his phone? Nothing.

Speaker 14 Nothing, said Jimmy. Nothing.
Chip Carter is 74 years old, by the way. Chip, maybe you get that ballot in the mail too, buddy.
You're young, but only compared to one person.

Speaker 14 Speaking of time being short, Israeli officials confirmed on Thursday the death of Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, the architect of the October 7th attacks in Gaza.

Speaker 14 But don't worry, he got his vote in for Kamala in time as well.

Speaker 32 Following the news, Vice President Harris said this in remarks from Wisconsin: This moment gives us an opportunity to finally end the war in Gaza.

Speaker 32 And it must end such that Israel is secure, the hostages are released, the suffering in Gaza ends, and the Palestinian people can realize their right to dignity, security, freedom, and self-determination.

Speaker 14 Said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Speaker 20 Or.

Speaker 14 Should we just not talk about it? All right.

Speaker 14 On Thursday, the Biden administration announced another round of student debt forgiveness, bringing the total student loan cancellation to $175 billion for nearly 5 million people since President Biden took office.

Speaker 14 Looks like my staff won't have to pay back their student loans for Clown College.

Speaker 14 I'm kidding. You are my best and only friends.

Speaker 14 Speaking of Clown College, a couple days ago, this video made the rounds.

Speaker 14 Allow me to describe the video. A kneeling person is fed a Dorito by a person off camera.
Then, truly in a jump scare, the person off camera is revealed to be Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

Speaker 14 And impossibly, this is a video about the CHIPS Act.

Speaker 14 That's what I guess the Dorito represents.

Speaker 14 To be honest, I hated this video when I saw it last week, but it's October in an election that will determine if we protect the climate, abortion, gender-affirming care, immigrants, Obamacare, and democracy.

Speaker 14 So when I hate something a Democrat does, I say it in my car on my way to the microphones. Just deal with it.
I'll make up for it next year.

Speaker 14 But then Governor Whitmer apologized after some Catholics expressed offense that the tableau evoked the holy sacrament of communion.

Speaker 14 In Whitmer's apology, she claimed it never occurred to her that the video would bring to mind the time Jesus turned into a Dorito.

Speaker 14 Said the governor in a statement, I would never do something to denigrate someone's faith. I would do something to queerbait based on questionable advice from my Gen Z staff.

Speaker 14 But if God doesn't like that, he's a dweeb.

Speaker 14 She continued, and as a reminder, to celebrate all faiths, I always look to my many, many paintings of the Prophet Muhammad.

Speaker 14 Speaking of apologies, in a podcast interview on Tuesday, Jerry Seinfeld said that he regretted telling the New Yorker in April that the extreme left and PC crap were killing comedy.

Speaker 12 I did say that.

Speaker 20 Yeah, that's not true.

Speaker 20 I don't think

Speaker 20 the, as I said, the extreme left has done anything to inhibit the art of comedy. Right.
I'm taking that back now officially.

Speaker 14 With a sigh, added Seinfeld, what's the deal with me?

Speaker 14 Good for a Seinfeld. Comedians in cars getting introspective.

Speaker 14 Normally these guys just

Speaker 14 retrench and get all defensive. That's cool.
I think that's good. He said something kind of dumb, got a bunch of criticisms for it, thought about it and said, no, I'm being stupid.
I'm wrong.

Speaker 14 And he actually explains it because he says, basically, culture changes, views change, jokes we used to make, we can't make anymore.

Speaker 14 But the job he compared to skiing because he's always got a metaphor for comedy. At least this one's about sports and not like...
splitting the atom or something.

Speaker 14 But like, he's like, you know, the skiers have to hit the gates. He has to hit the marks.
If you don't hit the space where you're supposed to go, it's not funny. That's not on the culture.

Speaker 14 That's on you, which I thought was a very good point. So good for Jerry Seinfeld.
Welcome to the Resistance, I suppose.

Speaker 14 In a week of weirdness, one weirdness more, according to the New York Times, no one knows who is currently the CEO of Boarshead.

Speaker 14 Because it's three pigs in a trench coat.

Speaker 27 It's not.

Speaker 14 According to the Times, the Deli Meat Empire is run by a secretive dynasty of two families, the Brunkhorsts and the Biskoffs.

Speaker 14 Two households both alike in pignity.

Speaker 14 Also, the exact names you'd make up for dueling families controlling a deli meat empire.

Speaker 14 According to Boarshead's former head of finance in a 2022 deposition, even the finance department wasn't allowed to access even basic information about Boarshead's sales, all of which had drawn scrutiny in the wake of a deadly listeria outbreak that exposed safety problems at a Virginia plant.

Speaker 14 They're as secretive as anybody I can think of in the industry, said Tom Johnston, editor of Meeting Place, a trade publication covering the meat processing industry. Forget it, Tom.

Speaker 14 It's Charcuterie Town.

Speaker 14 Let's do a quick poll. Just decide which one you like better.
Forget it, Tom. It's prosciutto town.

Speaker 38 All right.

Speaker 14 I think about even. They've got a saying at Boar's Head.
Stitches get stitches. And a big sandwich.
Because everybody gets a big sandwich. I thought that one would do better.

Speaker 14 And finally, Penguin Random House announced Wednesday that Pope Francis' memoir titled Hope will be published in February.

Speaker 14 The full title of the memoir was, It's a me, the Pope, and I'm full of a hope.

Speaker 14 A memoir by the Pope? What will these penguins think of next?

Speaker 14 Up next, he's the Dean of Our Dreams. It's Jim Rash.

Speaker 15 Hey, don't go anywhere.

Speaker 39 There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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Speaker 40 Talk to an eye doctor to learn if Viz is right for you. Learn more at Viz.com.

Speaker 3 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 4 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 7 Every new Toyota hybrid comes with Toyota Care two-year complimentary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 12 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota.

Speaker 13 Let's go places. See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

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Speaker 43 and we're back

Speaker 14 one of the funniest people around spinning everything you know him from community. Put your hands together for the wonderful Jim Rash.

Speaker 14 Good to meet you. Good to see you.

Speaker 16 Thanks for being here.

Speaker 20 Oh, thanks for having me. Wow.

Speaker 20 Hi. Hi.
Oh, yeah. I hated that card.

Speaker 14 We're here to talk about, I like your shoes. I'm moving this chair back a little bit.

Speaker 20 Please do, because my eye line.

Speaker 11 That's better. Yeah, that's better.

Speaker 20 Well, this was better, but that's okay.

Speaker 20 It's just like so profile.

Speaker 14 Go ahead. That's what I was trying to.
I was trying trying to, okay. No, it's okay.
Well, I was too much in profile, and it's my show.

Speaker 20 Oh, fair enough.

Speaker 13 Fair enough.

Speaker 15 Fair enough.

Speaker 20 Let's edit that out.

Speaker 18 You get them?

Speaker 24 Oh, no. We get three of those, right?

Speaker 14 Yep, that's right. You get exactly three of them.
Great. All right, so we talked about this briefly in the monologue.
We're going to talk today about the weave.

Speaker 14 In short, Trump is now arguing that he isn't constantly losing his train of thought and rambling from topic to topic and improvising every speech at a speed that would make Del Close gasp, as we all assumed.

Speaker 36 That was complicated.

Speaker 12 Well, yeah.

Speaker 21 No, he's at. Del Close,

Speaker 20 drop a name. That's good.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I thought it was good.

Speaker 20 That's good homage.

Speaker 14 He's actually developed a very sophisticated, never-before-seen speech pattern called the weave, which is why we're playing a game we're calling Love It or Weave It.

Speaker 10 Oh!

Speaker 16 Oh, there we are. We're weaving.

Speaker 14 Ah, we're weaving on a loom.

Speaker 21 God.

Speaker 14 On a loom.

Speaker 20 Why don't I do more hand modeling based on this?

Speaker 23 Oh,

Speaker 20 God.

Speaker 20 Gorgeous.

Speaker 16 We got to stop the video.

Speaker 20 I forgot when we were doing that, when we were working there.

Speaker 14 No, I know.

Speaker 14 It was a beautiful, beautiful experience.

Speaker 20 It was a different time, and we would just gossip and barely get our weaving done.

Speaker 20 The people listening to this are like, what the fuck are they talking about?

Speaker 14 I'm going to play you a snippet of Trump talking. You will have to tell us what question his answer is in response to.

Speaker 14 Are you ready?

Speaker 14 Earlier this week, Donald Trump sat down with Bloomberg news editor John Micklethwaite for an interview in Chicago where he went on this rant about Virginia voter rolls.

Speaker 17 Virginia cleaned up its voter rolls and got rid of thousands and thousands of bad votes.

Speaker 14 Jim, what was that question

Speaker 14 that Trump was answering?

Speaker 20 Well, I guess the logic is it's to be nowhere near what he's talking about at this point. You gotta go.
I was gonna say, is climate change real?

Speaker 16 Close. Oh.

Speaker 14 Here's the question.

Speaker 20 I can't believe I got that wrong.

Speaker 44 Should Google be broken up?

Speaker 14 The question was, should Google be broken up?

Speaker 20 It really was so close.

Speaker 37 So close.

Speaker 20 But I was in the neighborhood because it was such a far departure from it.

Speaker 23 Right.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 20 Could you imagine actually improvising while he was weaving?

Speaker 20 I mean, it'd make you probably the best improviser in the world to justify everything that he's saying. Yeah, he's the changing topics.
That's right.

Speaker 20 Here we are at that bakery, and then he starts weaving.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's right. He's a terrible scene partner.
He's not really a listener.

Speaker 14 He's not a listener. Not at all.
You know, it's like, here we are at this baker. We got to stop these migrants.

Speaker 20 You're right. We do.
And they're coming in the door right now.

Speaker 20 Migrants, please, we're not open yet.

Speaker 14 And he's like,

Speaker 14 actually, the Jews are going to be the reason I lose.

Speaker 20 and then i just start singling for the blackout yeah black it out

Speaker 21 oh thank you oh

Speaker 14 two weeks in a row bravo all right during his rally this week in oaks pennsylvania trump invited supporters on stage to ask him questions one voter had this query for him My grocery bill has not gone down.

Speaker 19 Everything is still so very expensive. What steps will your administration take to help American families suffering from this inflation?

Speaker 14 What Oscar-winning performance

Speaker 14 did Trump reference in response?

Speaker 20 I'm going to assume he's going to the Hannibal Lecter, right?

Speaker 24 That's correct!

Speaker 20 Thank you. Wow.

Speaker 20 I almost went Sophie's choice and I went, no.

Speaker 20 Oh, yeah. You know, because you have to choose your grocery items.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 14 Right. And sometimes.

Speaker 20 I can't do the flour. Sorry, flour.
You're out.

Speaker 14 But you need both.

Speaker 14 The flour and the other thing you're going to buy.

Speaker 12 You need the eggs.

Speaker 11 Eggs.

Speaker 14 It was natural to say eggs. Yeah.
I forgot they exist. Right.
For a moment, briefly. Really? I couldn't remember what you would want to make with flour.
I'm not much of a cook.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 20 Oh, everybody loves a good just flour and eggs.

Speaker 20 What do you want to have? Flours and eggs? Okay, I'll mix it up for you. Anything else? No.

Speaker 34 Cook it? No.

Speaker 14 I couldn't cook it.

Speaker 20 It's just like a paste.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 20 It's a yeah.

Speaker 14 So I have a little theory, and I want to know what you think about this, which is, so I think Pillsbury has really cracked the code. Something I've talked about in this show before.

Speaker 14 I don't really care. I could talk about it again.

Speaker 24 So if you go to the corner, that's why you're bringing it back up.

Speaker 14 If you go to the Albertsons or any supermarket, really, you got the blue cookie dough and you got the yellow cookie dough. Blue cookie dough is Pillsbury.
Yellow cookie dough is Toes House.

Speaker 14 Yellow Toe House cookie says, do not eat this raw. Pillsbury says, come on in, you fucking freaks.

Speaker 2 Is that right?

Speaker 14 Eat this right now. Eat and bake.
But here's the eat or bake. It says on the thing.
But now people have caught on. And now

Speaker 14 it's only yellow. You go and there's just empty racks.

Speaker 14 I think that like the market hasn't caught up to the fact that everybody has now discovered that the blue cookie dough, you don't have to cook it.

Speaker 14 And we can finally give in to our debauched true selves.

Speaker 20 Where you just undo it and then just chomp on the whole.

Speaker 14 Yeah, well, so you can usually buy it in sheets,

Speaker 14 which is

Speaker 24 how.

Speaker 20 I feel like we just went home with you one night.

Speaker 36 And so.

Speaker 20 I feel like this is a call for help because clearly

Speaker 24 we haven't even gotten to it yet.

Speaker 20 You've said, you've clarified, oh, well, you can get the sheets or you can get the full log. Either way, you're up on the couch and you're just yum, yum, yomming it.

Speaker 14 So the sheets are better because they're individual cookies.

Speaker 12 The logo.

Speaker 2 You can pace. Pace yourself.

Speaker 12 Yes, you can decide.

Speaker 20 I'm only going to have five sheets.

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 36 Well, that's like, yes.

Speaker 14 But so, but they're now out of the sheets, so you have to get the log. And then they were out of the normal-sized log, so all they had left was value log.

Speaker 20 Oh.

Speaker 14 And so, anyway.

Speaker 45 No, and then I would just say, do you have like a party ball size?

Speaker 14 Yeah. Do you have a perhaps a drum of some kind filled with cookie dough?

Speaker 20 Oh, Costco, maybe is where you want to go and just

Speaker 14 a tub or a pallet, perhaps.

Speaker 14 For this weave, I'm going to play it. And then immediately you'll have to guess the topic Trump mentioned just before this clip began.
Are you ready?

Speaker 17 We have never been so close to World War III.

Speaker 14 What was he talking about before this?

Speaker 46 He was just

Speaker 20 talking about more beachfront property with climate change.

Speaker 14 So close, he was in fact talking about the weave itself.

Speaker 20 See, that's a trick question.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 14 By the way, and I think it's very important we can go, you know, I call it the weave.

Speaker 17 You can call it,

Speaker 17 you have the weave as long as you end up in the right location at the end. But while we're talking about it, we have never been so close to World War III.

Speaker 21 Absolutely fucking nuts.

Speaker 20 Well, kind of. He's kind of right, because if he's at the helm and that's what we get, then we are probably very close to it.
Right.

Speaker 14 He's a bit like a customer to restaurants being like, this restaurant has never been closer to having a patron destroy it from the inside.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 14 As he lifts various glass things.

Speaker 20 I will say the weave can be helpful, I guess, if you're like on, say, a bad date and you get that flop sweat and then you just say, I'm sorry, real quick. I'm just weaving.

Speaker 20 I'll eventually land where you want.

Speaker 20 Can't relate to that. A bad audition.
I'm getting there. I'm going to find the line.
I'm just sort of weaving my way to it. Don't worry.
I'm going to stick it.

Speaker 14 I've never been on a bad date.

Speaker 12 Really? No.

Speaker 14 I've been on some bad dates.

Speaker 20 No, I'm sorry. That whole cookie dough thing told me that.

Speaker 20 Say the guy who's been on many.

Speaker 14 Yeah, no, I know, I know. No, they're very protective of me because they know my personality and how right you are.

Speaker 14 Next up in this clip, Donald Trump says a word many people this week thought was because it was so strange, they thought it was his attempt to say Arizonans.

Speaker 14 Jim, how do you think he tried to pronounce it?

Speaker 29 Well,

Speaker 20 I'm trying to remember exactly because I've seen

Speaker 20 Ara Asians.

Speaker 14 Very close, very close. Let's see what he said.
We'll give it to you, I guess.

Speaker 24 Oh, thank you.

Speaker 17 You look great.

Speaker 29 Thank you, darling.

Speaker 17 Also, we have many

Speaker 17 Azer Asians.

Speaker 9 Now,

Speaker 24 I forgot that.

Speaker 20 I forgot that hard Z at the beginning.

Speaker 14 Now, here's what's interesting. Here's what's interesting, fake news media.

Speaker 14 It was such a garbled and confusing word that people assume, oh, I guess he was trying to say Arizonans because he said Azerasians. It turns out Trump wasn't trying to say Arizonans.

Speaker 14 He was trying to say Assyrians because there was a contingent of Assyrians for Trump in the audience behind them. And they had t-shirts that said Assyrians for Trump.

Speaker 29 He still biffed it.

Speaker 21 Wow.

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 14 Isn't that interesting?

Speaker 24 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 14 It is. He kind of got kind of a little bit unfair to Trump there.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Maybe.

Speaker 20 Arizona was on the screen. Yeah.

Speaker 11 I think. Azarizians.

Speaker 14 I mean, he still fucked it up, but I think

Speaker 14 it's like you're in Arizona.

Speaker 13 No,

Speaker 20 we don't have to give him any points. It's a fail both ways.
Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 20 We don't have to find the silver lining here. We don't have to weave our way into giving him a half compliment.

Speaker 14 Yeah, fuck that. He should have, you gotta know how to say this.
No.

Speaker 26 Jesus.

Speaker 14 And you know what that sound means? I guess. It's time for our lightning round where the points double.

Speaker 11 Oh, good.

Speaker 14 So now they really matter.

Speaker 20 These really matter.

Speaker 20 I think I've gotten two out of four.

Speaker 40 Is that correct?

Speaker 14 You got them all right. It's time.

Speaker 14 It's time for a lightning round called What a Mangled Web He Weave. What a Mangled Web He Weave.

Speaker 14 here's here's here's the game i'm gonna give you two completely unrelated topics we'll put 30 seconds on the clock you'll have to weave a trumpian tapestry between these two concepts which again will appear to the untrained eyes having nothing to do with one another are you ready jim i guess yep i have three weave options for you to pick from okay you can just choose you know what yeah you're gonna have to do the first one i say yep give it to me tariffs and martin short and meryl streep potentially dating okay that's it do it i mean tariffs are not going to benefit.

Speaker 14 We have to wait till the timer starts.

Speaker 20 Tariffs are not going to benefit. You know, they're going to put more money out of that.
And speaking of money, it's like, you know, money, money, money.

Speaker 20 If you remember, show me the money from where, you know, Tom Cruise. And like, show me the money.
And it was so funny because when you think about Tom Cruise, you think about him and Top Gun.

Speaker 20 And it doesn't even really matter that Top Gunn, you know, whether it was good or not, but

Speaker 20 Meryl Streep loved loved it and Martin Schore loved it. And that was going to be their first date was watching Top Gun.

Speaker 29 Nice.

Speaker 14 So when you said money, money, money, I thought you had found your way to Meryl Streep in Mama Mia.

Speaker 24 I know, that would have been smart. I know.

Speaker 14 Now we're at, they were there. We were there.
We were on the precipice.

Speaker 20 But that's the tricky thing with the weave, because sometimes...

Speaker 20 Sometimes, like a zig and a zag, you don't know which way you're going to go. And because I could not find the name, the Jerry Maguire, I had to lock into Tom Cruise.

Speaker 20 And then I was really in the gray zone there. And I said, Jim, you've got to get to Martin Short.
You got to.

Speaker 20 And it's much easier than you're making it. So then I was like, Tom Cruise, was he any Martin Short in their movies? Then I'm bailed on that.
No, he wasn't. And I don't know if Meryl was.

Speaker 20 And then, man, I stuck the landing, though.

Speaker 14 You really did. Well, it's interesting.
You went to Tom Short.

Speaker 20 And the weevy there was better than Mike Ferguson.

Speaker 14 Tom Cruise and Martin Short, vaguely in the same font.

Speaker 14 You know? Say that again, Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise and Martin Short,

Speaker 14 they're vaguely, they have similar, vague shapes.

Speaker 20 You know? Oh, I thought I heard you say font.

Speaker 14 Yeah, like they're kind of, they're like, oh, I heard you say that. They're like, what is that? Same font, different people, people, different people, same font.
They're like similar to fonts.

Speaker 16 A little bit. So,

Speaker 11 okay.

Speaker 14 You know. So we're all like, what was the one?

Speaker 20 Rinky Dinks font.

Speaker 14 Yeah, Rinky Dinks. Wing Dings.
Wing Dings. I saw Martin Short at at the airport

Speaker 21 I

Speaker 20 wish I had a better one I've I've seen Martin Short in a lobby at a theater that's cool yeah

Speaker 14 let's do one more

Speaker 14 inflation and the new wicked movie

Speaker 23 wait in there

Speaker 20 inflation for him to get to that wicked thing so inflation and the new wicked movie and the new wicked movie okay I mean thankfully I think inflation is going down not as much as they would have hoped and spending like going down I mean, you know, what's not going down is the anticipation.

Speaker 20 Oh, that's too fast.

Speaker 20 You know, going down is like an elevator. And, you know, it's like, you know,

Speaker 20 I remember going up in an elevator once, and I was sitting next to Adina

Speaker 20 Kristen Chinowith.

Speaker 13 And

Speaker 20 she says, you remember that last no? I went, you mean the one that goes, ah,

Speaker 20 and I go, where did I hear that before? Oh, that's right. I'm going to hear it again in the new wicked movie.

Speaker 14 That was so good.

Speaker 14 Are you,

Speaker 14 how much

Speaker 14 wicked? How many versions of Defying Gravity have you consumed?

Speaker 11 I mean, different versions. Yes.

Speaker 14 Like, do you have an, is any, does any algorithm.

Speaker 20 I'm leaving the album because I've never seen it on stage, but I hope to see it at the Pantages.

Speaker 45 Oh, my God. It's okay.

Speaker 20 I've listened to the album.

Speaker 14 Because the algorithm has figured out that I want to hear every version of Defiant Gravity ever recorded.

Speaker 20 From anyone?

Speaker 14 From anyone on Earth, including Brazilian and German versions.

Speaker 14 I have heard so many people go, ah,

Speaker 23 and also, ah, also the other one.

Speaker 14 There's a third one. Yeah.

Speaker 20 Well, there's probably the matinee one where they don't go there to save their voice. Oh.

Speaker 20 The matinee audience is like, oh, matinee.

Speaker 4 Matinee.

Speaker 14 Matine. It's matinee.

Speaker 4 Hey, gotta save it.

Speaker 27 Gotta save it for the big one.

Speaker 14 For the night people, the people that count.

Speaker 27 The night people.

Speaker 20 They paid the same, but.

Speaker 14 Paid the same. Why does the matinee not count? It's only day side.
It's daytime outside, but not in the theater. It's the same light in the theater.

Speaker 14 But because it's daytime outside, we care less. What's that about?

Speaker 20 I don't know. That's a good question.

Speaker 20 Maybe we just think that daytime people are more... This is not offensive

Speaker 20 because I go to matinees. But maybe they just feel like, oh, these people are a little bit more boring because they don't have a nightlife.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 14 But then when you go to the theater at night, you have dinner at six. The what? It's dinner so early.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Hey, you know what? I've really enjoyed weaving with you.

Speaker 20 I have enjoyed weaving too.

Speaker 21 Thank you.

Speaker 14 Jim Rash, thank you so much. Oh my God.
How bad. He'll be back

Speaker 14 for the wheel we do at the end. One more time for Jim Rash.

Speaker 14 But we come back. Congressional candidate Derek Tran is here.

Speaker 40 And we're back.

Speaker 14 Please welcome to the stage. It's your pal and hopefully soon to be Congressman.
It's Derek Tran.

Speaker 14 Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 44 By the way, Trump stopped dancing.

Speaker 14 Oh, Trump stopped dancing. Wait, is it over?

Speaker 14 Well, what?

Speaker 29 You didn't tell them.

Speaker 14 So it stopped.

Speaker 14 It ran out.

Speaker 14 Nobody commented or made a noise. I did.

Speaker 27 I just told you.

Speaker 14 Oh, the screensaver went on. Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 14 Well, here, let's fake it. Let's just fake it.

Speaker 14 That was it. That was 39 minutes.

Speaker 14 Long time.

Speaker 14 Long time.

Speaker 14 All right, Derek. You're running representing California's 45th district.
Basically, it wraps around Disneyland.

Speaker 44 It does. Yeah, they gave me Knottsberry Farm.

Speaker 14 You got Knottsberry Farm?

Speaker 12 Yeah, Knottsberry Farm.

Speaker 14 I went to Knottsberry Farm as a kid. There was a ride, I believe, called Montezuma's Revenge.

Speaker 16 Have they renamed that?

Speaker 21 No, I think it's still there. I'm not sure.

Speaker 14 It was one of the ones that would accelerate very quickly. I think that was the revenge.

Speaker 14 Or maybe when you went back.

Speaker 44 You were tall enough to get on the rights?

Speaker 10 Wow.

Speaker 12 They told you. Wow.

Speaker 14 Yeah, no, very funny. No, it's true.
I was. It's

Speaker 14 actually from a very young age, I really wanted to go on roller coasters, but I was too short to go on them. And so we would stuff my shoes.

Speaker 14 We would put stuff in my shoes to go on the ride. I'm lucky to be here.
I could have slipped through. I was a little chunky, so I wouldn't have slipped out.
So it was fine. I was fine.

Speaker 14 No, it's good. I love you.

Speaker 14 No, no, I'm glad you said it. I don't care about being short.
It actually doesn't really confort with my personality.

Speaker 14 You think I'd hold grudges and care about being short? Neither is true. Isn't that weird?

Speaker 44 This is my last time on the show, by the way.

Speaker 27 You'll never see me again.

Speaker 14 So your district has the highest Vietnamese American population in the country, but you would be the district's first Vietnamese American representative.

Speaker 14 Seems bad to break the streak, no?

Speaker 20 That's what I do best.

Speaker 14 But like, sort of, what does that mean in the district, and what does it meant to the Vietnamese population in the district?

Speaker 44 Look, it's a huge honor to be where I'm at right now.

Speaker 44 This community, since the fall of Saigon in 75, 49 years ago plus, they've never had representation in DC. No voice,

Speaker 44 no one with the lived experience to share with, you know, the national leaders there what's this refugee community is all about. So that's one of the many reasons why I want to do this.

Speaker 29 So your opponent

Speaker 14 your opponent is the incumbent currently trying to dance around a deeply anti-choice, anti-abortion voting record, an attempt that has the LA Times in writing say, don't put too much faith in anything she says or does during an election on the issue.

Speaker 14 How, first of all, how effective has that been? How hard is it to make clear to people, especially because

Speaker 14 You know, California is expensive, an expensive place to campaign. How effective has she been at getting that story out versus Democrats in getting the truth out about it?

Speaker 44 Look, I think it's difficult

Speaker 44 in that I'm challenging an incumbent, and there's so much dark money out there, right? There's been almost a million from Elon playing in this district for God knows why.

Speaker 44 Crypto money that's in this district that's playing against me, like 2.8 million.

Speaker 44 But at the end of the day, I think that my message, which resonates with the community out there, matters and representation matters out there. So we're doing, we're working so hard.

Speaker 44 My entire team, the volunteers I have, you know, taking zero corporate PAC money, I am funded by the people, and I'm proud of that. So we're going to do it.

Speaker 14 The Cybertruck sucks.

Speaker 21 It's super ugly.

Speaker 14 My father texted to say that great news,

Speaker 14 he got off the wait list. for the Cybertruck.

Speaker 14 I think he's kidding.

Speaker 14 But I won't know until I visit.

Speaker 37 Hey, what do you think

Speaker 14 about the efforts to undermine your campaign? People, they're trying to bring up former legal clients that you've defended as a lawyer,

Speaker 14 when at the same time we all recognize that everybody is a basic right to have a defense.

Speaker 14 How has that played out?

Speaker 11 Yeah, look, I think it's pretty fucked up.

Speaker 44 that they're doing this. Number one, I'm not a defense lawyer, never have been.

Speaker 11 And not

Speaker 44 that there's anything wrong with being a defense lawyer but they're twisting cases that i've had as a consumer rights lawyer uh wrongful termination cases and calling me a defense lawyer for rapists i mean that that is insane that that's who i'm campaigning against this vile person that doesn't care about truth right um but at the end of the day you know i think people see through that

Speaker 21 all right well that's the hope at least

Speaker 14 uh you got the la times endorsement that's gotta be worth a lot of votes i think there's gotta be a lot of people that just like, I don't know. The California ballot is so many fucking things.

Speaker 14 Which is a reminder, go to votesaveamerica.com because you can, uh, we have a ballot tool that can you can fill out your ballot in advance. Um, Derek, your campaign told me that you're a sneakerhead.

Speaker 14 I can see that by the fact that you're wearing

Speaker 13 sneakers on, too.

Speaker 14 I did. I designed these in the Nike store myself

Speaker 14 when I was high.

Speaker 18 Uh,

Speaker 14 so we're gonna put your uh sneakerhead status up against some tennis shoes in a game we're calling Capital Capital Heel.

Speaker 13 Oh, I like it.

Speaker 23 Oh, there we are.

Speaker 37 Nice.

Speaker 14 Nice. I'll show you a pair of politician shoes.
You tell us whose shoes they are. It seems more complicated when I launched into the intro, but I promise you it's not, at least for your sake.

Speaker 14 I hope it's not. Are you ready?

Speaker 33 I'm ready.

Speaker 14 First up, we have this iconic pair of Converse.

Speaker 44 That's Kamala.

Speaker 34 No, it is. No, no, no.

Speaker 16 It is. You is.

Speaker 14 You got to trust your instincts.

Speaker 14 This was the Vogue cover that caused an uproar because,

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 16 I think she looks so cool in the picture, but there was an uproar about it.

Speaker 14 There was another. Do you have the other photo?

Speaker 14 There was another photo of part of it that was also very cool.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 anyway, that was Kamala.

Speaker 14 She was in another picture without sneakers, which was apparently better. But I thought she was cool in this picture.
I guess the face looks a little shit. I don't know.
People had a problem with it.

Speaker 14 Not me, though.

Speaker 14 Next up,

Speaker 14 Joan of Arc. More like Joan of Arc support.

Speaker 14 Hinge 20. That doesn't even lead into this.

Speaker 14 All right, we have these shoes.

Speaker 34 Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 21 Help, help.

Speaker 14 You guys know this, you absolute fucking...

Speaker 14 Yes. Wow.
They know the shoes, you freaks. You media consuming wonderful people.
It's in Texas. It's your hinge.
They're whispering, Wendy.

Speaker 40 Wendy. Yeah.

Speaker 14 That's right.

Speaker 14 This is Wendy Davis in her pink sneakers during her filibuster for 13 hours to block a vote on state Senate Bill 5.

Speaker 14 Interesting, during the filibuster sale, those specific shoes spiked on Amazon, and the comment section descended into a debate about abortion.

Speaker 14 It's like I always say, our entire country is in Amazon comment section debate on abortion. The bill eventually passed in subsequent Senate sessions.
And finally,

Speaker 14 these dreamy, creamy statement wellies.

Speaker 44 That's DeSantis.

Speaker 14 That is DeSantis.

Speaker 14 Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

Speaker 14 Woo!

Speaker 14 Remember that guy?

Speaker 16 Now,

Speaker 14 your race has been moved from leaning slightly Republican to being a toss-up. To what do you credit that shift?

Speaker 21 Me. Well, good.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 44 Look, I think I put in the hard work, the teams put in the hard work in making sure we get here. It's been quite a journey to get to this point.
But

Speaker 44 we've always knew that Steele is not the right fit for the district.

Speaker 44 And the people know that. And the people of the district sees that she's done nothing for them.

Speaker 44 And they know that because she's voted against every single major piece of legislation that brought back opportunity and funding for the district.

Speaker 40 So it's time to fire her from her job.

Speaker 14 And before we let you go,

Speaker 14 what is the most unheard or specific kind of question or concern you hear from the doors, from you knocking on doors and talking to people? What is like not getting the attention it deserves?

Speaker 44 Look, I think every issue that I hear at the door is very important, right? You got

Speaker 44 the codification of Roe v. Wade, make sure we get rid of the Dobbs decision.
You have the economy that comes up constantly, rising prices at the grocery store, child tax credits.

Speaker 44 These are things that everyday Americans are facing. And these are the things that I want to address when I get to Congress.
And that's not being done by Steele.

Speaker 38 All right.

Speaker 14 Well, everybody, Derek Tran, where people go to volunteer. If you're in California, you're hearing this, drive to Derek's district.
We'll be going out there.

Speaker 40 I'm afraid you won't be there. No, I will be there.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 34 No. What the fuck?

Speaker 12 Team, team?

Speaker 16 I'll be there. We're going to be out.

Speaker 14 We're going to be knocking on doors.

Speaker 14 But if you're hearing this in Los Angeles, which is we have a lot of people listening in Los Angeles, there's Derek's district.

Speaker 14 There's a few other house districts that will determine whether or not we take back the house. The house is going to be won or lost in California and New York.

Speaker 14 Whether you're in California or New York, there's Derek's district. There's other districts where you can really make a difference, but go knock on doors for Derek.
We've got to win that seat. Yep.

Speaker 44 Derek Tranforcongress.com.

Speaker 27 Thank you so much. All right, we are back.

Speaker 16 Thank you.

Speaker 14 With Bill Mai.

Speaker 14 And we're back.

Speaker 24 Who here is a millennial?

Speaker 14 Yeah, it checks out.

Speaker 23 All right.

Speaker 24 You know him. You love him.

Speaker 14 And you will need to chant, Bill, Bill, Bill, whenever I point to you this evening.

Speaker 14 Bill, Bill, Bill. Open your hearts and you'll be having a Roth IRA, what?

Speaker 14 And give it up for the science guy himself. It's Bill Nye.

Speaker 14 All right.

Speaker 14 Good to see you. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 29 We love that song.

Speaker 14 Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 29 Oh, no, it is I who must thank you.

Speaker 14 So we were talking about this backstage, and the three-body problem has just not been solved.

Speaker 11 Yeah. It has.

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 29 By okay, I mean, okay.

Speaker 29 You talking about spacecraft navigating in the cosmos? Yeah, that we've, I say we,

Speaker 29 your tax dollars at work. What happened? What did we do on

Speaker 29 Sunday? We launched a mission to Europa, the moon of Jupiter,

Speaker 29 with twice as much ocean water as the Earth. You have ocean water for four and a half billion years.

Speaker 29 Is there somebody living up there on Europa, Europanians,

Speaker 29 swimming around?

Speaker 34 You think?

Speaker 29 Could be? Microbes of Europa?

Speaker 29 It's a thing. If we discover life on another world, it will change this world.
Back to you.

Speaker 14 Sort of dodge my question about the three-body problem.

Speaker 29 What do you want to know about the three-body problem? Earth, moon, spacecraft. Yes, there is not an explicit answer, but you can iterate and do it well enough.

Speaker 37 All right. Well, I guess.

Speaker 29 Sure. What am I speaking tonal languages here or something?

Speaker 29 The Hamiltonian? It's like the Lagrangian in time?

Speaker 47 Hamiltonian, yeah.

Speaker 14 I always thought Lagrange points were cool and that we should be putting stuff there.

Speaker 29 We do.

Speaker 14 Put stuff there.

Speaker 29 That's good. So we have, you guys, talk about something we take for granted.

Speaker 15 Halo orbits.

Speaker 29 The old analogy is the marble on top of the upside-down mixing bowl.

Speaker 29 Very hard, the marble is going to fall. It's unstable.

Speaker 29 So you guys, Lagrange

Speaker 29 is where

Speaker 29 the motions are all in balance. The forces are all in balance.
So between the sun, the earth, and the moon, out there, is a place where all the forces are in balance.

Speaker 29 In between, there's a place we're in balance.

Speaker 29 Between Earth and the Sun, there's a place we're in balance. And, because the whole thing is going around the Sun, this is my around the Sun impression.

Speaker 29 There's also, Lagrange points out, this way, either side of the orbit. But it's very hard to be there because it's unstable.
You'll fall off the upside-down mixing bowl.

Speaker 29 People put spacecraft in these halo orbits. That's what the description, it's freaking rocket science, man.
It is so difficult, and yet humankind does it all the time.

Speaker 29 Meanwhile, we can't solve these problems on our own planet. They're much harder.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's frustrating.

Speaker 16 That's frustrating.

Speaker 14 It's the incredible human curiosity and ingenuity coming head to head with our deepest flaws and egos and greed, you know. And it's hard to see which one's going to ultimately win.

Speaker 14 You know, you can't, you can't.

Speaker 14 That's the.

Speaker 14 Those are the three. That's the three-body problem, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 14 In a sense.

Speaker 29 In a sense. Well, it's a hard-to-solve problem.
I'll give you that.

Speaker 29 Oh, love that song.

Speaker 14 I love that song. So now.

Speaker 29 No, really. It's great.

Speaker 14 One of the challenges we have is that there's a lot of people spreading a bunch of conspiracy theories.

Speaker 2 It is a problem.

Speaker 14 And you have been out there trying to kind of... talk about the truth, get the truth out there.
Does it ever feel a little bit like shouting at a Hurricane Democrats invented

Speaker 29 with the space lasers?

Speaker 14 Yeah, because

Speaker 14 does it ever feel as though, like, you know, we're not going to win this fight?

Speaker 29 No.

Speaker 14 No.

Speaker 29 You have to be, look, everybody, you have to be optimistic. If you're not optimistic, you're not going to get anything done.
All right. You don't go into the game thinking you're going to lose.

Speaker 29 However, When you are behind, you have to hustle. And so this, I will just go on and on about this.

Speaker 29 This is the most important election in history.

Speaker 29 So I'm so old.

Speaker 14 How old are you?

Speaker 29 So I remember, well said.

Speaker 29 So I used to say that the election of 2000 was the most important election of my lifetime. Al Gore wins the popular vote.

Speaker 29 but he didn't become president. And so we didn't do anything about climate change.
And we've been kicking that can down the road into the future.

Speaker 29 And the stakes each election, 2004, 8, 12, 6, the stakes get higher and higher. And now they're the highest they've ever been

Speaker 29 for all of us. So please, everybody, vote.
And if you're thinking about voting for the other side,

Speaker 29 vote on Wednesday. Be sure to vote on Wednesday.

Speaker 14 Bill Nye, you scamp.

Speaker 16 But

Speaker 29 you guys, respect,

Speaker 29 just respect that everybody has somebody in his or her family that is supportive of the other side. That there is another talk show where everybody's just as ticked off and just as cynical and just as

Speaker 29 mean-spirited as the next person.

Speaker 29 And so they think that we're crazy. But we've got to work together and

Speaker 29 change the world. And so with that, let us start with this election.
We'll just start with that, and then we'll take a meeting on all these other problems along about November 6th.

Speaker 14 I feel like part of the challenge with getting people to vote on climate change is not just the people that deny it, but also the people that believe in it, but feel a bit overwhelmed and feel anxiety and feel like it's unsolvable, or we've already passed the point of no return.

Speaker 14 But you don't believe that.

Speaker 34 No.

Speaker 29 No.

Speaker 29 So, everybody, the latest

Speaker 29 scientific publications

Speaker 29 suggest that there's not a tipping point. There's no place of no return.
It's just going to get hotter and hotter and spookier and spookier indefinitely.

Speaker 29 So the sooner we stop pumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, the sooner we can turn this thing around. So let's get going, you all.
Come on.

Speaker 14 Are there some technologies that you're particularly excited about?

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 29 I'm excited. I'm not joking, you all.
So I'm, like so many people, I'm into physics.

Speaker 29 And so,

Speaker 29 you know what we say? What do we say? Everything happens for a reason.

Speaker 29 And that reason is usually physics.

Speaker 29 It's always physics. The study of motion and energy.
So

Speaker 29 when I was in school, nuclear fusion, this would be the smashing of protons together, overcoming the strong atomic force, releasing all this energy, heat, energy, photons, like this, was always 40 years away.

Speaker 29 40 years, every year was 40 more years, 40 more years. Well, I've traveled the world a little bit.
I think it's more like 20 years or 15 years.

Speaker 14 Cold fusion?

Speaker 29 Not cold fusion.

Speaker 29 No, seriously, you guys, just for fundamental understanding.

Speaker 29 Those were people

Speaker 29 who, I think, thought that their deity was influencing their role on earth and they just had instruments in the wrong place and presumed but it was such hype right yeah cold fusion cold fusion the movie the saints starting Val Kilmer

Speaker 14 Val Kilmer was a movie called the saints yes Elizabeth Shu was a scientist with kind of asthma for you yeah she had asthma it was an asthma something else heart things so anyway

Speaker 29 what you need is really really hot fusion oh no So, and

Speaker 29 so

Speaker 29 do you know the definition of temperature roughly?

Speaker 14 Yeah, but they don't.

Speaker 29 So, it's the energy. How fast things are moving.

Speaker 40 Yes.

Speaker 29 Hell yeah. It's the energy.

Speaker 14 I'm smarter than I look, sound and talk.

Speaker 29 Yes, which is amazing.

Speaker 29 To take it up another level.

Speaker 16 I think we're all just...

Speaker 34 Wow.

Speaker 29 So, I mean, mean, how can I on the spot? Now,

Speaker 29 we've got to get these, so measure of a thermometer goes up because the atoms, molecules hit it, and the faster they're going when they hit it, the more the temperature goes up.

Speaker 29 So, we have to get these particles going really fast and smash them into each other, and we have to contain it in a magnetic field. This is everybody's idea.

Speaker 29 It's five or six, a dozen places around the world are trying this in different forms.

Speaker 29 But it may very well be. What's everybody's greatest fear now?

Speaker 22 Yes.

Speaker 3 AI.

Speaker 14 Oh, I was going to say you wake up naked in a classroom and you haven't even taken the class

Speaker 14 and it's the final.

Speaker 29 Well, what's the class about?

Speaker 14 Does it, you know, maybe statistics.

Speaker 29 Oh, God, that would be troubling. So hard.

Speaker 14 Because even if it's an open book, you're not going to get it.

Speaker 29 It's counterintuitive. Yeah.

Speaker 29 You're right. That's taken that dream up another level

Speaker 29 of probability. So

Speaker 29 it is reasonable that containing

Speaker 29 these moving particles will take a magnetic field that not only responds to the wiggling of the gel-o of this plasma where all the electrons are dissociated from the atoms, but anticipating where they would be moving.

Speaker 29 And so artificial intelligence systems controlling the magnetic field may solve the problem.

Speaker 29 And peoples, if we got fusion here on Earth, we could, in the next, say, 50 years or 70 years, have electricity for everybody all the time. Do all the chat GBT and you want, man.
Go crazy.

Speaker 29 And we can solve that problem.

Speaker 14 Oh, it's getting worse.

Speaker 29 It's very reasonable. I'm very excited about it.
But we have a problem. You know, NIMBY,

Speaker 29 not in my backyard. Are you hipped a banana?

Speaker 29 Build banana. Build Build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything.

Speaker 29 When you have a society that has that attitude, it's just hard to solve problems. So stay tuned.

Speaker 29 So

Speaker 14 another question I had,

Speaker 14 how do you feel about

Speaker 14 geoengineering?

Speaker 29 You guys.

Speaker 14 I'm curious.

Speaker 29 I'm an engineer.

Speaker 29 We start out thinking we can solve any problem with science.

Speaker 29 But

Speaker 29 when you start messing with stuff in the atmosphere and you start reflecting sunlight into space, what happens when you stop?

Speaker 29 Very troubling.

Speaker 2 Termination shock.

Speaker 14 Isn't that what it's called? Termination shock.

Speaker 29 It could be.

Speaker 3 Very troubling. And I had it.

Speaker 29 It could really suck, if you know that term. And

Speaker 29 it's just, I think, I'm afraid that it's wishful thinking. So what happened was volcanoes go off once in a while and these particles go in the sky and they cool things off.

Speaker 29 But if you're a volcano and you want to affect Earth's climate, you really have to be near the equator. That's really

Speaker 29 if you're just like Mount St. Helens or something, you have a little bit of effect, but you're too far north.

Speaker 29 Stupid Mount St. Helens.
Yeah. Well, she did what she could, you know.
Yeah.

Speaker 29 So

Speaker 29 anyway,

Speaker 29 this idea that you could take that same phenomenon and control Earth's climate in a way that governments around the world would agree upon is

Speaker 14 challenging. I read about it in a book.
You want to know what the book was called?

Speaker 14 Yes. It's called Termination Shock.
Oh, good. Okay.
And people were so mad about messing with the climate in it.

Speaker 29 Yes, yes, understandable. But we're messing with the climate and people are only somewhat angry about it.

Speaker 29 So you guys, if you're, you know, my heart goes out to people in Florida and in North Carolina and so on, but man, you can't get insurance.

Speaker 29 You know, your house is washed away, you've lost everything, and you don't have flood insurance. And where are you going to go? What are you going to do, man?

Speaker 29 We got to work together on this. Did I mention voting?

Speaker 14 You didn't mention it. Yeah, good.
Yeah, my parents are in Florida, and I don't know how far they can get in that cyber truck.

Speaker 29 So, you guys, does anybody have a cyber truck?

Speaker 29 Anyway, I just wonder, you know,

Speaker 29 people, you cross paths with people who I described them, people who work for a living and use trucks, like people who paint houses,

Speaker 29 mow lawns, repair things, build stuff. They drive trucks.
How many of those people drive cyber trucks? I just, I'm open-minded, man.

Speaker 14 Based on the number of them in Beverly Hills, I would say the ratio is not where Elon would want it to be.

Speaker 29 So look, you guys, I gave, back in the day at the Planetary Society, world's largest non-governmental space interest organization advancing space science and exploration, set of since

Speaker 29 the earth will know the cosmos now.

Speaker 14 Illuminati, fucking Illuminati shit. No, that's where you guys are pulling the fucking strings, Bill Nye.

Speaker 29 We started by Carl Sagan.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah, another one. Making the hurricanes.

Speaker 29 So it was started by Carl Sagan.

Speaker 24 Billions and billions of lies.

Speaker 29 Took one class from Carl Sagan.

Speaker 15 My little reference?

Speaker 29 Never mind. And so Elon Musk was was at one of our meetings.
He was on a board of directors. This is 17 years ago.

Speaker 29 When he was building the Falcon 1, trying to get this rocket to fly because he's into it. He wants to go to Mars, this and that.

Speaker 29 And at that time, he was introduced as this is Elon Musk, founder of PayPal. Hi, I'm Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.
Elon Musk, founder of PayPal. It wasn't even hyphenated.
It was all one word.

Speaker 29 Elon Musk, founder of PayPal.

Speaker 29 And that he was like this regular guy

Speaker 29 with whom you you could talk. And

Speaker 29 I was trying to be cool. I said, well, what's the specific impulse of this Falcon? And he said 300 seconds.
And that's like, whoa, dude, he's into physics. And so I gave him a ride to the airport.

Speaker 29 I'm not joking you, peoples.

Speaker 29 And I admit, I let him off at a part of LAX that

Speaker 29 I didn't even know was there.

Speaker 29 It was he had, you know, custom flight. What do you call it? Private jet.

Speaker 40 That's cool.

Speaker 29 Anyway, well, I just wonder, everybody, what's going on with that guy?

Speaker 29 And is he going off on this tangent because he wants deregulation for his rockets in Texas and for whatever is going on with the Securities and Exchange Commission that he's got going and what he's got going on with the Federal Communications Commission?

Speaker 29 I just wonder if

Speaker 29 his head's really in the game right now or if he's trying to make sure he gets his legal stuff taken care of. So he's just, man, he has gone, as we say, in compasses, 180.

Speaker 29 Man.

Speaker 15 Bill.

Speaker 29 No, it's a really, it's a like.

Speaker 14 I know. It's

Speaker 29 jaw-dropping.

Speaker 14 It is jaw-dropping.

Speaker 14 But speaking of jaw-dropping, we have a segment we're calling Bill Nye, Just Some Guy.

Speaker 29 Oh, yeah, good, yes.

Speaker 16 And here's how it works.

Speaker 14 I'm going to give you a non-scientific topic. It might be paranormal.
It might be extraterrestrial. It might be the chupacabra.

Speaker 14 And our request is that you try to give us the most scientific, plausible explanation for that phenomenon. I'm not asking you to debunk the idea.

Speaker 14 At the same time, you don't need to confirm any of it is real. But if it were real, how could you explain it scientifically?

Speaker 33 Sure, sure.

Speaker 21 All right.

Speaker 14 You have to be better at chanting.

Speaker 23 Well, you've absolutely panicked.

Speaker 29 Yeah. And then in the group like this, you know, you got to boil, boob, you got to have that

Speaker 29 descending tone.

Speaker 33 First up,

Speaker 14 we're going to start with the

Speaker 14 UFOs. In April 2020, the Pentagon released three unclassified naval videos of unidentified aerial phenomenon.

Speaker 14 I could barely get it together to bang my pots out a window, and I love doing that.

Speaker 14 So I don't think that we're ready to reckon with otherworldly visitors. But

Speaker 14 if you did believe that UFOs were real, how would you justify it scientifically?

Speaker 29 Well, I would just, of course, send them a binary signal based on the resonance of the hydrogen atom. I mean, how hard could it be?

Speaker 29 And so,

Speaker 29 because any alien's going to recognize it, they're going to get this tone, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And they'll just know that that's...

Speaker 29 obviously a binary signal that has some geometric origin. And what would it be based on? The most common element in the universe, which is?

Speaker 29 Yes, I love you all.

Speaker 29 And so in just five or ten minutes, U.S., or rather, Earth minutes, an alien will be all over it. And so this is the gold records that are on the Voyager spacecraft.

Speaker 29 That's sort of the premise of the bit.

Speaker 29 Any alien will find this record, play it at 16 and a half revolutions per Earth minute,

Speaker 29 get the sounds of whales and people in love and Chuck Berry doing Johnny Be Good, and then

Speaker 29 we'll all be intergalactic, or rather

Speaker 29 intra-galactic buddies.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Well, they could be.

Speaker 14 Do you think wormholes could be a way to get around the speed of light limit?

Speaker 40 Well,

Speaker 29 get around the old speed of light limits.

Speaker 36 It sucks.

Speaker 16 It ruins everything.

Speaker 14 It sucks. I hate the speed of light.
Yeah.

Speaker 29 I'm actually, I think I'm okay with it.

Speaker 29 I grew up with it, you know, and

Speaker 29 it's just just been

Speaker 29 part of my everyday

Speaker 29 experience.

Speaker 29 Day, see?

Speaker 21 We got it.

Speaker 29 Thanks.

Speaker 29 So

Speaker 29 it doesn't bother me. I don't think, you know, hey, who doesn't love Wrinkle and Time? Tesserak, we take the ends of the string and put them together.
So there you are.

Speaker 29 You can go anywhere in the universe just by jumping through the wormhole. I'm open-minded but skeptical.

Speaker 29 Keep in mind that black holes, these stars that have so much gravity, how much gravity do they have, light can't even, you're beheated,

Speaker 29 light can't even escape.

Speaker 29 They would kill you on the way in. You would be, the fabulous verb is spaghettified.

Speaker 29 The gravity at your feet, the gradient between your feet and your head would be so hard, so strong you would be stretched into a 50-kilometer long string of death.

Speaker 15 Disagree.

Speaker 16 You say disagree. I don't think that's what happens.

Speaker 29 Well, what what do you think happens?

Speaker 14 No, it's something else.

Speaker 16 Oh, cool.

Speaker 29 Maybe you end up in another part of the universe at another time. That's what I was hoping.

Speaker 27 That would be cool.

Speaker 29 But can you control it? I don't know. One thing is.

Speaker 14 Why don't you just go in real slow?

Speaker 29 It's hard to do.

Speaker 14 You got to go in just at an angle, real slow.

Speaker 33 You got to go in real slow.

Speaker 33 Try it.

Speaker 14 It's really slow, but go feel fast.

Speaker 21 Well, that's the gravity assist.

Speaker 29 Yeah, well, let us know how it goes.

Speaker 29 I'll stay out here,

Speaker 29 and we won't even know what happens to you because the light couldn't get out. Whoa.

Speaker 14 Unless I pop out, unless I pop out a few minutes earlier here, and then I run in, and I'm like,

Speaker 24 oh no.

Speaker 14 But then that would have always happened.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 21 What if you eat that?

Speaker 14 Well, what if there was a wormhole that then sent you back in time? Would you be able to

Speaker 29 do it?

Speaker 21 So

Speaker 29 there's a guy, rather, a theory where you can build a time machine,

Speaker 14 but you can only go back to when the time machine was invented.

Speaker 12 What a rip-off, man. Sorry.

Speaker 14 Well, obviously.

Speaker 40 Flinking universe. It's stupid.

Speaker 29 Fuck you, cosmos.

Speaker 29 Sorry, man. There are rules for those of us, you know, here.
on earth and everything.

Speaker 29 Yeah. Some of my best friends are here.

Speaker 14 Yeah. And also some people I hate.

Speaker 29 I noticed that.

Speaker 14 Is there any way that you could come up with a scientifically plausible explanation for why horoscopes are real?

Speaker 29 Yeah, it's very reasonable to me that people have sex at different times of year.

Speaker 29 And so the kids they have are born in different times of year.

Speaker 29 And so they show up with different personalities because their parents are in a different mood at different times of year.

Speaker 14 That was always my only plausible explanation, too. That if you're born in the summer and you miss, you don't get a birthday cake

Speaker 14 on your day at school, but I but only on the summer cake day that you share, it makes you a little weird, which is why summer birthdays, present company included, seek so much attention.

Speaker 14 And then there are the people born around Christmas, and they are either wallflowers or the craziest motherfuckers you'll ever meet.

Speaker 29 Is there a gradient that is to say between midsummer and Christmas,

Speaker 29 Isaac Newton's birthday,

Speaker 29 where

Speaker 29 is there a gradient between severe disappointment and

Speaker 29 fucking crazy?

Speaker 14 Yeah, yeah, I think it's a smooth curve, yeah.

Speaker 29 A smooth curve. So you should publish a treatise on this.
I should. So, well, you know, there's an old saying in skeptic thought or critical thinking.
Everybody loves critical thinking.

Speaker 29 Nowadays, it used to be, when I was a kid, that used to be called logic or reasoning or something.

Speaker 29 No, but critical thinking is a phrase right now. That's good.
It means the habit, or it refers to the habit of mind of evaluating evidence. And so one of the

Speaker 29 turns of phrase that we love in this skeptic world is correlation is not causation. This is to say just because your born in the summertime crazy holiday thing correlates doesn't mean that

Speaker 29 the horoscope caused it. But right.
But the the planets caused it.

Speaker 14 Would you say that me being a bit needy caused the summer?

Speaker 29 So what makes me skeptical of that claim is my understanding is you're quite a bit younger than my parents. And my parents reported experience

Speaker 29 summer every year.

Speaker 35 Right, right, right.

Speaker 9 For some reason.

Speaker 29 I don't know why that would be.

Speaker 29 I wouldn't be curious about it.

Speaker 14 Now, before we go, Bill, you have to.

Speaker 29 We're just revving up.

Speaker 14 You started Bill Nye the Climate Guy on your Instagram to urge people to vote with the climate in mind.

Speaker 14 These videos are part of Climate Power's Too Hot Not to Vote campaign, a campaign Vote Save America is also supporting.

Speaker 14 So, we really wanted to premiere the next video.

Speaker 14 Thank you. We have the next video.

Speaker 40 Let's play it.

Speaker 29 Roll that Bill Nye Climate Guy here. Little Millennials, Gen Zers, Gen Weisters, and really kids of all ages.

Speaker 29 I know you have concerns about your future, the cost of just living, having enough money for food, rent, or for those kids you might want to have one day.

Speaker 29 But along with all that, the Earth is getting warmer. The climate is changing worldwide.
There are more floods, more droughts, more fires, and less ice. Our planet is getting hotter and hotter.

Speaker 26 We need to take action.

Speaker 29 We need to be creating new jobs. The Clean Energy Plan is just the start.
And if you're on the fence,

Speaker 34 get get off it.

Speaker 29 Because on one side of the fence is a bright green future for all humankind.

Speaker 34 The other side will lead us to an oily, dry death.

Speaker 29 I'm not kidding, people. Vote.
Your future is in your hands. Register on those electric phone machines of yours.

Speaker 21 Go to toohotnote.com and learn how to vote early for your state.

Speaker 14 I like that.

Speaker 29 So we did. Thank you, man.
Thank you for showing that this is a world premiere, you all.

Speaker 16 We're at the premiere. So thank you.

Speaker 29 We did

Speaker 29 six videos with Too Hot Not to Vote. It's like Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Too Hot Not to Vote.

Speaker 29 And we have them come out every week up to the election. There'll be a couple bonus sprinkled in on election day or the day before.
So everybody, it's really important.

Speaker 29 You know, there's a lot of things on everybody's mind.

Speaker 29 This business of women's rights, control of your bodies,

Speaker 29 trying to suppress the vote in a lot of districts in the United States. These are important issues.
They're racial or ancestral issues that are important, but the climate is really important.

Speaker 29 And young people are concerned about it. So it's too hot not to vote.

Speaker 15 Carry on.

Speaker 23 Yes.

Speaker 14 It's like you can choose a clean energy future or a dry, oily death. And it's like dry, oily death.
Is that the, if Trump wins or my combination skin?

Speaker 21 All right.

Speaker 29 Are you a summer? You are a summer. You bet I am.
You did the colors.

Speaker 27 You bet I am.

Speaker 47 So

Speaker 29 that's why you don't wear blue or something like that. Something like that.
He's got pink shoes.

Speaker 27 He's a summer. He's a summer.

Speaker 12 Proof of the paranormal.

Speaker 29 I'm satisfied. I believe in ghosts now.

Speaker 34 Ooh.

Speaker 29 Ghosts.

Speaker 14 Toohnottovote.com. Check your registration status.
Make a plan to vote and learn about your candidates' climate records. When we come back, it's time to spin the wheel.

Speaker 15 Don't go anywhere.

Speaker 39 This is Love It or Leave It.

Speaker 22 There's more on the way.

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Speaker 12 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota.

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Speaker 12 And we're back!

Speaker 14 If my chat with Bill Nye inspired you, and it did.

Speaker 33 What the fuck?

Speaker 14 Terrible at cheering.

Speaker 29 I love that song.

Speaker 14 With Votesave America's Build Your Own Ballot tool, you can learn what's on your ballot wherever you live, fill out a practice ballot in just a few clicks.

Speaker 14 Be prepared to cast your ballot for the climate on or before November 5th. Please go to votesaveamerica.com/slash climate to check it out.
Now, this message has been paid for by Votesave America.

Speaker 14 You can learn more at votesaveamerica.com. This ad has not been authorized by any candidate or candidates committee.

Speaker 40 All right.

Speaker 14 Please welcome Jim and Derek back to the stage. Oh, good.

Speaker 29 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 29 Gentlemen. Gentlemen.

Speaker 14 Good to see you again. Welcome back.
Good to see you.

Speaker 20 Another handshake. Another handshake.

Speaker 16 All right.

Speaker 14 Here we are.

Speaker 14 In the spirit of Trump putting his foot down and doing what we all wish we had the courage to do, canceling on plans last minute, no matter the consequences, we're going to play a game called Cancel and Gretel.

Speaker 14 We'll each take a spin of the wheel and share one event that everyone should be able to skip. No questions asked.

Speaker 14 Now to the wheel.

Speaker 20 I forgot when I was a witch.

Speaker 20 And I was so mean to you guys when you came by my candy house.

Speaker 12 Oh.

Speaker 12 Jim, it's landed on you.

Speaker 14 Okay. What is something you think everybody should be able to cancel on or skip?

Speaker 20 I think we should be able to cancel small talk.

Speaker 20 Like if you're at a party, which is is my pet, you know, and you're in small talk with someone, you know,

Speaker 20 and we're in the middle of it, and you're just like, we know how we are, and we just go, you know, I'm going to

Speaker 20 click to cancel this.

Speaker 29 Well, what happens when you can't, what happens? Do you leave?

Speaker 20 I think that's just understood. Like, we're done.
Let's move on to the, let's move past the small talk and get to the really good stuff.

Speaker 29 So what's the really good stuff? How to resolve a two-state solution?

Speaker 20 Well, absolutely.

Speaker 20 I really want to dig deep into that that part of the world.

Speaker 27 I would say that's big talk.

Speaker 14 Maybe there's medium talk. What? That was big talk.

Speaker 14 Small talks a no, big talk's challenging. Maybe there's medium talk.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah, just something.

Speaker 29 Just check with the new Stingray Corvette body style. Is that medium?

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 20 What I love is that I would go probably to the Corvettes.

Speaker 27 Is that where I'm going to go? Yeah, you go right to Corvettes.

Speaker 20 That's a classic thing for me.

Speaker 16 Enough about the winner.

Speaker 24 Hey, how are you?

Speaker 20 Corvettes, am I right?

Speaker 29 Oh, I know what you say.

Speaker 20 And by then, I'm off to that Tuesday.

Speaker 20 I just find that, you know, you go to the parties now, and it's like impossible because you walk in and you find yourself an hour later still staying in the same place because you're seeing.

Speaker 20 This is people that you know, these are your friends, and they haven't seen you in a while. And you start with, How are you? How are you? Oh my god.

Speaker 20 And then you say something like, Oh my God, I saw, I saw you went camping because they saw you on Instagram. I did go camping, which you already know.

Speaker 20 Then someone inevitably comes over and they don't wait. They just say, Hey, how are you? Hey, I saw you went camping.
Now Now you're gonna hear the goddamn camping story again. So I would just say,

Speaker 34 I'm out.

Speaker 20 Small talk canceled. And then we go, ah, we relax and we talk about Corvettes.

Speaker 44 It's like we're still doing the weaving segment.

Speaker 36 We are.

Speaker 14 We're always weaving. The show is a non-stop weave thing thing.

Speaker 12 We're learning a lot about.

Speaker 37 We're learning a lot.

Speaker 14 No, but I agree with you. There are also people that have this deft touch to say, please excuse me.
And I see those people, and I marvel at them. They're people that can

Speaker 14 extract themselves from a conversation effortlessly. Don't try it right now, Bill.

Speaker 27 I see that look in your eyes.

Speaker 14 I see it. I see it.

Speaker 29 Don't try it.

Speaker 24 Don't you dare.

Speaker 14 Don't hurt my feelings for the second time tonight. All right.

Speaker 12 How did I hurt your feelings? No, Derek hurt my feelings.

Speaker 21 Oh,

Speaker 24 can you? You never hurt my feelings.

Speaker 14 A little bit, you hurt my feelings.

Speaker 14 Let's spin it again.

Speaker 14 Derek, what's something you'd like to cancel?

Speaker 4 What about

Speaker 11 reality TVs

Speaker 11 that kick you off on the first episode?

Speaker 12 That's for you, John.

Speaker 16 Wow.

Speaker 14 Wow, pandering. That's for you.

Speaker 16 Pandering.

Speaker 14 You flipped it. You got it back.
You got it back. I liked it.

Speaker 24 I liked it.

Speaker 14 That's why he's going to win.

Speaker 14 That's why he's going to win that 45th district and then surround Disney and have them right where we want them.

Speaker 14 We'll get to get that. Get that kingdom.

Speaker 14 I support that. All right, let's spin it again.

Speaker 23 Oh, Sean. What?

Speaker 12 Can you believe it?

Speaker 29 It's just amazing.

Speaker 14 It's landed on Bill Nye.

Speaker 21 It was perfect. One on each other.

Speaker 12 Wow.

Speaker 14 It's almost as if the wheel is stupid.

Speaker 14 It serves no function in this.

Speaker 29 No, no.

Speaker 29 So I say if

Speaker 29 people have put you in an arranged marriage

Speaker 29 and there's a date selected,

Speaker 29 I think you could cancel on that. Yeah.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 29 I think

Speaker 29 that would be an example.

Speaker 14 I think that's a really important point.

Speaker 37 I'll go even further.

Speaker 14 I think basically as a society, we should just have a, if you cancel your wedding, everyone's fine with it because and no one makes a big deal out of it.

Speaker 14 And even though it's a lot of money and a lot of plans, everyone just goes, you know what? If you cancel this wedding, you have your reasons. We're not even going to bring it up again.

Speaker 14 Everybody, because there are people that go through weddings because they're afraid to cancel the wedding because of how much problems it would cause to cancel the wedding.

Speaker 14 But then you know what they are?

Speaker 21 Married.

Speaker 29 Oh, tell us about that.

Speaker 14 And they win. I don't know about that.

Speaker 14 I know about not getting married. I don't know about getting married yet.

Speaker 14 But my point is, people should just be able to cancel weddings because then people wouldn't go through weddings that they didn't want to go through because of the pressure that comes along with canceling them.

Speaker 29 I mean, you know, right on, man.

Speaker 21 No, he's not saying that.

Speaker 18 He's working an agreement here.

Speaker 16 Blow it up.

Speaker 29 If you have, especially if it's arranged, right? Someone else puts you in this position. Well, every wedding is arranged.

Speaker 13 Once you cancel it.

Speaker 20 And once you cancel that wedding, you get in that Corvette and you just

Speaker 2 drive.

Speaker 36 And you just go camping.

Speaker 9 And you just live your life.

Speaker 29 Carry on. Sorry, I was looking for a topper, but the Corvette was pretty good.

Speaker 7 Well, that was a call.

Speaker 20 That was your

Speaker 21 mind.

Speaker 15 It was a weave.

Speaker 20 All right, let's do it again.

Speaker 40 Oh, shot.

Speaker 14 I have a very, this may be too specific.

Speaker 14 There's a lot of gyms and gym classes where when you sign up, there is this moment 12 hours before. where you have to decide whether you're in or you're out.

Speaker 14 And it sucks.

Speaker 14 that because it's like i want to decide in the morning and i would like to have some sort of way of arranging with a place say look i won't cancel all the time i'll show up a lot of the time but please a 15 charge because i just don't want to go it's too much it's too much

Speaker 14 i hate that because then i go and i don't want to go

Speaker 29 you know aren't you don't

Speaker 40 for me uh

Speaker 29 Don't you get there and once it starts, you feel pretty good? Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 29 And you're glad you did it? Yeah, no, I am. So you're just this anxiety, man.

Speaker 14 But I would like the option.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 14 I don't, I feel, I feel manipulated.

Speaker 29 So what if it were, instead of $15, what if it were $5?

Speaker 14 Well, the problem is, you know, they know you.

Speaker 24 They know that.

Speaker 14 I'll pay $5 every goddamn.

Speaker 14 $5 is just

Speaker 14 a snooze fee. You know, a penalty and a fee are basically the same thing.
A parking ticket is really just a parking fee if you're in the right headspace.

Speaker 36 Yes, that's a problem.

Speaker 21 You know what I mean?

Speaker 29 I feel that way, yes, about parking tickets. Yes, there are people who feel that way.

Speaker 22 Not, I mean, I've heard.

Speaker 29 So if it were

Speaker 21 12.

Speaker 14 Do you drive?

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 29 A car? Yes.

Speaker 14 Well, yeah. It's just hard to imagine.

Speaker 12 Why?

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 29 So I'm so old. No, no, no.

Speaker 14 It's not an age thing.

Speaker 16 It's not an age thing.

Speaker 29 You don't drive in a stick shift.

Speaker 14 Do you drive a stick shift? Obviously not.

Speaker 29 Look at the home because I'm of a certain age. But now in an electric car, you don't, there's nothing nothing to shift.

Speaker 29 So you don't, that's a, my grandfather rode a horse in World War I, but you don't need to do that anymore.

Speaker 3 Right, no.

Speaker 29 You don't need to drive a stick shift anymore. So yes, I drive a car, and it's great.

Speaker 29 I don't get any plug for this. Why not? But I have a Chevy bolt,

Speaker 29 a Chevrolet.

Speaker 29 And it's not... the Tesla with dual motors or the Corvette with the camping option.

Speaker 36 Yeah, you know I have that. Yeah.

Speaker 29 It's it's

Speaker 14 what is it?

Speaker 29 It follows the car in front of you. It stays in the lane.
You can take your hands off the steering wheel, light up your cigarette or whatever it is.

Speaker 29 And it just drives down the road and it's much safer than watching as a human and trying to react.

Speaker 29 And so the future is cars are going to drive themselves and will be productive in a way in the back seat.

Speaker 14 This started off about how you do drive. It ended on how

Speaker 14 the car drives for you.

Speaker 34 Do you smoke cigarettes, Bill and I?

Speaker 12 No, no.

Speaker 29 So on camera, you guys, I smoked one cigarette, about half a cigarette. How do you guys do that?

Speaker 14 Don't do it.

Speaker 29 Man, I am not cut out of it.

Speaker 20 How do you guys do it? Like we're out just smoking a pack.

Speaker 29 Well, you guys are, yeah.

Speaker 14 What circumstances were you smoking a cigarette?

Speaker 29 I was like, National Geographic thing. National Geographic thing.
About climate change. And this is where I got to do a scene with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Speaker 29 And at one point in the show, I got to say, I'll be back. It was cool.
So Schwarzenegger, you guys,

Speaker 29 between takes,

Speaker 29 plays chess with his buddy from Austria. And how to describe, he plays chess hard.

Speaker 35 Like,

Speaker 29 just like he's just that guy.

Speaker 29 He's quite charming. A digression, I don't think he smokes either.
Back to you.

Speaker 9 I mean,

Speaker 20 that's a weave.

Speaker 14 That was weird. And that's a weave.

Speaker 29 It was beautiful. It was a beautiful weave.
That was a beautiful weave. It came together and

Speaker 29 it just came together.

Speaker 21 It came right back.

Speaker 20 I mean, when you went from bolt to, I think you're in a self-driving car to you only smoke half a cigarette. Apparently, we smoke a pack a day.
They don't smirking any. Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 And he's playing chess. Well, he's chess.
He plays it hard. He plays it hard.
And that's, what did we call it? Canceling Gretel.

Speaker 24 A segment we all remember.

Speaker 14 But we come back and went on a high note.

Speaker 14 And we're back because we all need it this week. Here is our high note.

Speaker 48 Hey, Lovet. This is Iowa State Representative J.D.
Schulton. Being the only Democrat at the Iowa Capitol in 32 counties in northwest Iowa isn't always easy, but I wanted to share some good news.

Speaker 48 This past summer, I became the first person to play professional baseball while still being in office.

Speaker 48 And my high note is that this week I had three different teammates reach out to me to tell me that they're going to be voting for Kamala.

Speaker 48 Two of them weren't going to be voting and the other was going to be voting for Trump. So as a reminder, talk to your friends people.

Speaker 48 This race is going to come down to the wire and remember to vote down ballot. Thank you.

Speaker 31 My high note this week is celebrating the fourth birthday of my bakery here in Boston.

Speaker 31 We were slated to open in April of 2020 when the pandemic hit really hard and construction and everything else got delayed. So we didn't open until October.
And it was brutal.

Speaker 31 But once we opened, the community really embraced us. Since then, we've built an incredible team,

Speaker 31 made some really great relationships with neighbors, and I'm very proud of the work that we do, the food that we make, and the service that we provide.

Speaker 31 I also this summer gave birth to my first child, Clementine.

Speaker 31 And I was only able to do that as a small business owner because of our team and my sister, who's our operations manager, being able to run the business in my absence.

Speaker 31 It is very special for a small business owner to be able to take

Speaker 31 family paternity, maternity leave. and spend that special time with their child.
So I am very grateful for that opportunity and for the people who made that possible.

Speaker 31 So lots of things to celebrate, feeling very emotional upon reflection. And it's not just the postpartum hormones, but

Speaker 31 truly a high note of the week and a high note of the year.

Speaker 14 Thanks, everybody, who shared a high note tonight.

Speaker 14 If you want to send us a message, but something that made you feel hopeful, send a voice memo to lowlyhigh notes at crooked.com or you can leave it in the Discord. That is our show.

Speaker 24 Thank you so much.

Speaker 29 Hold on. You're going to introduce the high note and nobody's going to go, oh.

Speaker 14 Well, you just did.

Speaker 16 You did it.

Speaker 29 You just did. I was just, I was leaning into it.

Speaker 20 Do you want to, you want to take it again? Yeah.

Speaker 15 All right.

Speaker 14 Here it is, the high note. One, two, three.

Speaker 14 Oh!

Speaker 29 Comedy is that simple, people.

Speaker 14 That's our show. Thank you so much to Jim Rash, Derek Trent, and Bill Mye.
There are 16.

Speaker 14 Oh, my God. There are 16 days until the 2024 election.

Speaker 37 Have a great night and have a great weekend.

Speaker 14 Love it or Leave It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg.

Speaker 14 Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.

Speaker 14 Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohanad El Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor.

Speaker 14 Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer.
And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by SureSure.

Speaker 14 Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can.

Speaker 14 It's love it or leave it.

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