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What's up, Los Angeles?

Welcome to Love It or Leave It live from the Elysian Theater.

As Pharaoh once said, man, Passover really snuck up on me.

So we'll be flying through this pack show so quickly the bread won't have time to rise.

Our plagues, measles, bird flu, and microplastics so far.

Our bread of affliction, the vegan recipe we tried to bake with applesauce instead of eggs, and nutritional yeast instead of tasting good.

Welcome to Love It or Leave It's 2025 Passover Seder.

Oh.

Unbelievable.

That was the Havanaguela

bagpipes

from our Shiva episode for Queen Elizabeth Elizabeth II,

Robbie Hoffman, Rachel Bloom, and Elijah are here.

We'll ask the four questions, and my mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law will, and this is for real, meet for the first time on this stage.

And with that, we'll say, Dianu.

But first, let's get into it.

What a week.

In the wake of Trump's announcement of a trade war against every country on earth, as markets plummeted, companies announced layoffs, and retirees looked for early bird specials on gourmet dog food, the right-wing defended their best boy.

You have to just let him do what he's going to do, give him some time, because he is a businessman, he's a billionaire, he knows what he's doing.

Just close your eyes and think of England.

Stop pointing out all these grease fires and let the man cook.

Treasury Secretary and bad gay Scott Besant had this to say on NBC Sunday.

We had record volume on Friday and everything is working very smoothly so the American people can

be very

take great comfort in that.

Good news, everybody.

The paper shredder your tie is stuck in is working perfectly.

It's successfully pulling your face toward the gnashing metal teeth with a plom.

It's eating that tie while you scream and claw at the machine like it's nothing.

Wirecutter, your recommendation is crushed once again.

Secretary of Commerce Howard Ludnick offered this exciting vision for the future on Sunday.

Remember, the army of millions and millions of human beings screwing in little, little screws to make iPhones.

That kind of thing is going to come to America.

USA.

USA.

What a beautiful vision for the future.

I would just point out that Howard Ludnick has not worked a day in his life outside of finance.

He ran the firm Cantor Fitzgerald, over which he gained control after a bitter dispute with Iris Cantor, the wife of the firm's founder.

They battled in court for years.

She barred him from her husband's funeral.

But Cantor Fitzgerald is best known for having lost 658 people on 9-11, including Ludnick's own brother.

He became well known because of a moving interview he gave with Connie Chung on September 14th, 2001.

So while I'm the head of the company, I'm trying to help my 700 employees who are missing

their loved ones.

I'm just another one of them.

Just another one of them.

Just another one of them.

The interview became infamous.

Does anybody here remember why?

I'll tell you why.

Cantor Fitzgerald removed the names of those 658 employees from the payroll on September 15th.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There was an outcry and the firm ultimately set aside some profits for the families of employees who died.

But it was devastating for families whose loved ones were still technically considered missing.

And it tells you something about the ruthlessness of this person and the focus on the bottom line.

Another revealing fact about Howard Luttnick, he's from fucking Jericho.

Audience from Long Island nods their heads so hard they have to go to the hospital.

There has been some tension.

Elon Musk said on Saturday that he hoped for a zero tariff situation between the U.S.

and the EU and spent the following days feuding with Trump's trade advisor, Peter Navarro.

One thing about a Trump presidency, there will always be two crabs in a bucket scrapping it out.

But which crabs?

That's what keeps it fresh.

By early this week, Musk was estimated to have lost around $31 billion since Trump announced the tariffs that Navarro championed.

And you all thought the tariffs had no conceivable upside.

Shame on you.

On Saturday, Musk publicly criticized Navarro on X, writing, a PhD in econ from Harvard is a bad thing, not a good thing.

Hmm.

I feel like it's actually a neutral thing that's often wielded by bad people, like alternative medicine or the speakerphone function.

Then on Monday, Navarro took a shot at Musk during an interview on CNBC saying this.

But he's not a car manufacturer.

He's a car assembler.

A good part of the engines that he gets, which in the EV case is the batteries come from Japan and come from China.

The electronics come from Taiwan.

The cyber truck panels that keep falling off come from Mexico, but the glue that doesn't hold them on comes from South Korea.

Musk on Tuesday replied to a video of the interview on X saying that Navarro was truly a moron and dumber than a sack of bricks.

And thanks to Trump's tariffs, price of the brick going up.

White House Press Secretary Caroline Levitt, no relation, was asked about the ongoing squabble.

These are obviously two individuals who have very different views on trade and on tariffs.

Boys will be boys, and we will let their public sparring continue.

And you guys should all be very grateful that we have the most transparent administration in history.

First of all, the combined age of these boys is 128

years old.

Second, it's true these idiots are fighting in public and the chaos inside of the White House is spilling out into the open.

But that's a superficial kind of openness.

It's democracy theater, not democracy itself.

It's real housewives transparency when what we need is Panama Papers transparency.

Because on the same day, Levitt, no relation, described the administration as the most transparent in history, Trump signed a memo directing his agency heads to repeal a raft of environmental regulations and other rules.

That directive also said that as they go through the books removing regulations that they claim to be unlawful, agency heads shall finalize rules without notice and comment.

In other words, Trump just issued an order telling his agency heads to get rid of regulations in secret without giving the public an opportunity to know about it, let alone have a comment about it.

They've boarded up all the windows and sent two clowns outside to punch each other in the dicks.

But those are the clowns they want us to see.

But what of the inside clowns?

What of their dicks?

Speaking of dicks, during a speech at the NRCC dinner on Tuesday night, Trump bragged that global leaders were desperate to make a deal.

I'm telling you, these countries are calling us up, kissing my ass.

They are.

They are dying to make a deal.

Please, please, please, sir, make it deal.

I'll do anything.

I'll do anything, sir.

Please, sir, please, please put the pin back into the grenade you're holding between your butt cheeks.

Everybody wins if you put that pin back into the ass grenade.

On Wednesday morning, as the stock market's chaos continued, the president wrote on Truth Social: Be cool.

Everything is going to work out well.

The USA will be bigger and better than ever before.

We just have to be cool.

Tell that, Mr.

Be Cool.

I'm going to kill you.

Say kids, be cool.

Be cool.

Say this, be cool.

Tell that fucking Mr.

Chill.

Be calm.

Meanwhile, J.P.

Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Diamond was asked on Wednesday whether he thought a recession was likely and replied, I am going to defer to my economists at this point, but I think probably.

Joining us now are those economists.

Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on

just a reminder, you can watch our Love It or Leave It live show on YouTube

every week to see this and other hilarious visual punchlines.

Just stop by YouTube at Love It or Leave It Podcast and check it out.

Then later on Wednesday, Trump fully blinked, announcing a 90-day pause of reciprocal tariffs on all countries except for China, whose tariffs he raised to 125%.

Oh, wait, wait, hold on one second.

Johan, it's Love It.

I'm sorry to call so early in Zurich.

Bad news.

I know last week we decided to open a chocolate factory in East St.

Louis.

I know I'm really disappointed too.

They said the tariffs were here to stay.

Hey,

hey, Johan,

don't cry.

I do think we'll always be friends.

Best to Ursina and Little Albrecht.

Let's not call it Alvitracen.

Let's call it goodbye forever.

Why did Trump back down, you ask?

If that joke worked,

Hallie had to buy me a sandwich.

If it didn't work, I have to buy Hallie a sandwich.

I think you fucking won.

Fuck, fuck.

Why did Trump back down, you ask?

Was it because those other countries negotiated awesome deals?

It was not.

Can you walk us through what you were thinking about why you decided to put a 90-day pause?

Well, I thought that people were jumping a little bit out of line.

They were getting yippy, you know?

They were getting a little bit yippy, a little bit afraid.

Yeah, people get squirrely when you dump all their money in a big toilet and say, I am going to flush this.

The president continued,

they will be fair deals for everybody,

but they weren't fair to the United States.

They were sucking us dry, and you can't do that.

They were sucking us dry, negative, and now they're sucking us dry, positive.

My whole family is here.

Stocks immediately climbed after Trump's reversal, which helped make sense of Trump's truth social post from earlier that morning that said, this is a great time to buy.

Signed DJT.

Trump innovating in the insider trading space by posting this on the internet.

Internet cider trading, if you will.

Health Secretary RFK Jr.

finally changed his tune on the measles vaccine after a second child died of the illness, writing in a Sunday ex post, the most effective way to prevent the spread of measles is the MMR vaccine.

RFK Jr.

explained that his target number of dead kids was two.

Anti-vax activist, sorry, anti-vax activist Sherry Tenpenny, who once claimed during an Ohio legislative hearing that the COVID vaccine caused patients to become magnetized,

wrote in response, I'm sorry, but there is no defense for this poorly worded statement.

Gee, I guess magnet lady found RFK Jr.'s new position polarizing.

In a Tuesday's CBS News interview, Kennedy publicly urged people to get the measles vaccine for the first time since becoming health secretary.

It's one thing to say the measles vaccine is the best way of preventing spread, but it's another thing to then say, and therefore

we suggest that you get the measles vaccine.

You encourage people to get the measles vaccine.

Okay, so that, I mean, I think that's actually the next step, and that's news as far as I'm concerned, that you're saying that.

I'm still learning and evolving, replied RFK Jr., while slurping down a a whole goldfish through a boba straw.

I do want to say, you know, when somebody does something you've asked them to do, even if it's ridiculous that we had to ask, and even if it's abominable that we're in this position, we do express our gratitude.

The thank you carcass is in the mail.

Last month, Kilmar Obrego Garcia, a legal resident who has been in the U.S.

since 2011, was deported to Sakat, the Salvadoran mega prison.

The White House admitted Garcia was deported due to an administrative error, but claimed they do not have the authority to retrieve him because he is now in the custody of El Salvador.

A classic case of not it.

A judge ordered the Trump White House to bring the Maryland man back by midnight Monday, but the Supreme Court issued a temporary stay on that ruling.

And then on Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled that the U.S.

government must facilitate Abrego Garcia's return in an unsigned order.

In a separate statement, the three liberal justices went further, saying the court was wrong to stay the Monday order and that Abrego Garcia deserves the full due process he was denied.

And that's three more thank you carcasses in the mail from crooked media.

Just do want to stop and say that all nine justices have now said in two separate rulings that everyone deserves a measure of due process, that the administration cannot just remove people without giving people enough time to have their objections heard in court, and that removing someone to a jail in El Salvador does not mean that the administration does not have a responsibility to try to correct that mistake.

Because what the Trump administration position is, is they can take anyone off the street, claim that because they are an undocumented immigrant, they can be deported without seeing a judge, they can be sent to a prison in El Salvador, and once handed over to El Salvador, they no longer have the ability to bring that person back and U.S.

courts no longer have the ability to question it.

It is as clear as day a means of saying that they can basically

deport people and imprison American citizens without anyone having the ability to ever question it or stop it.

And this is nine Supreme Court justices saying that that is not going to fly.

And all the claims that this is a, that these are activist judges, they are now, what, they're going to claim Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett and the other one,

Gorsuch, that these are all,

these are all, what, liberal activist judges?

That's all.

Fuck them.

All right.

Also, this week, the Supreme Court vacated Judge James Bozberg's temporary ban on the Trump administration's attempt to deport Venezuelan immigrants using the Alien Enemies Act.

The Trump administration claimed victory, but all nine justices also made clear that the administration must notify immigrants that they're facing deportation ahead of time so they can challenge the government's decision.

The court unanimously agrees, in other words, that everyone is due some sort of process.

These have been decisions with something for everybody, and by the same token, satisfying to no one, like a protein brownie or salmon with frosting on it.

And if you've been following the story of Andre Hernandez, Romero, the gay makeup artist, sent to El Salvador after an investigator with Core Civic, which contracts with ICE, signed off on the claim he was in Trendearagua, it turns out that that investigator was once a Milwaukee cop so shady, county prosecutors flagged him as too unreliable to testify in court.

Are you so terrible at being a cop that even other cops are like, woof, I don't know about this guy.

An exciting career awaits you at ICE.

Apparently, this guy left the force after drunkenly driving his car into a literal home while being investigated for lying about overtime and was convicted for kicking in the door of an apartment and threatening to kill himself with his service revolver in front of his girlfriend.

Now he's sending immigrants to a mega prison based on their tattoos, said everybody in his high school reunion.

Yeah, seems about right.

So as Trump tanks the global economy and his administration terrorizes legal immigrants, Fox News continues to be laser-focused on the most important topic of the day, gender.

Here we have Fox News's gender chaos headlines.

The network had to dig through second and third tier sports to find enough trans athletes to freak the squares this week, rallying against trans women playing in a women's pool tournament and a fencing competition.

Pool, a sport that famously hinges on the sheer physical strength of the competitor, the most jacked person who hits the balls the hardest wins.

Pool.

Here we have a clip from Fox News.

We got in trouble.

Yeah, that's right.

Music, man.

But good news: the solution to gender confusion exists is a stiff dose of international trade barriers.

This is an actual Fox News Chiron from this week.

Trump's Manly Tariffs.

Pundit believes it could reverse crisis in masculinity.

Because men need to get out of the office and back to the factory floor.

When you sit behind a screen all day, it makes you a woman.

Studies are trendy.

Studies are trendless.

And if you're not working, like building robots like Harold, you are around other guys.

You're not around HR ladies and lawyers.

It gives you estrogen.

What do you mean?

Let me finish, Judge.

You sit behind the screen.

Yeah.

Get his ass, Judge Janine Piro.

Fuck.

Whatever.

In other news, Nintendo paused pre-orders of their Switch 2 in the U.S., Canada, and China in response to Trump's tariff threats.

Unacceptable.

Just wait till my father, Bowser, hears about this.

GameStop CEO Ryan Cohen, himself a Vocal Trump fan, tweeted, These tariffs are turning me into a Dem along with the rainbow emoji.

He may be the CEO of GameStop, but he doesn't like it when the games stop.

A pair of nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become parents for the first time, cried the tortoises' mothers.

Finally.

And by a very sweet coincidence, the baby tortoise's face looks almost identical to that of Gavin, the zoo's loneliness maintenance man.

Gavin, fuck that turtle.

Up next, guess who's coming to Seder?

It's Robbie Hoffman and Rachel Bloom.

Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or or Leave It coming up.

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And we're back.

Before we bring out Rachel and Robbie, my nephew Bennett is here.

And unless the cast of Young Sheldon has finally responded to my many invitations, he is almost certainly the youngest person in attendance, which means he gets to ask the four questions of the Love It or Leave It Passover Seder.

Bennett,

can you please stand and help us out?

Here, I have this on a card for you.

Would you like to ask the first question?

How is this live show different from all other live shows?

I don't know, we try to create a Passover gimmick for it because our parents were coming and all the guests were juice.

What's the second question?

Will you tell my mom to let me get a dog?

What do you think?

No.

It's a no.

I try.

I try.

Third question:

Why hasn't Love It or Leave It become a TV show?

Well, that sucks.

I mean,

we took it out, but it was right before the pandemic.

It's a tough time in the industry.

What's the last question?

What is my birthday?

Thank you, Bennett.

Great job on the fourth place.

He's welcome to the stage.

Rachel Bloom and Robbie Hoffman.

Hi.

Hi, hi.

How are you?

This is nice.

Look at that.

My picture there.

Beautiful.

What a good-looking picture that was.

I took a good picture.

Skin looks great.

Love it.

Hi.

How are you?

Robbie, you're in a brand new series called Dying for Sex.

Yes.

Congratulations.

In addition to Hacks, which is premiering right now, and I'm here with you.

Wow.

Thank you.

Big role on hacks.

Big role on hacks?

Big role.

I think I'm in almost every episode.

Wow.

So was she.

You know.

The title is a little bit ironic because they're very talented.

Wait, what's oh

now?

I love your wedding ring.

Oh, thank you.

It's an engagement.

Yeah, I saw my engagement ring there.

So wait, but you're the boy in the relationship?

Because I'm the boy in mine, as of no, for sure.

Well, that's an interesting question.

I think, I think it's really kind of I think on some questions you would say yes, but in others, let me see the part, and I'll decide right away.

I know

what I'll say, who's the boy, who's the girl in the relationship.

Okay, well, just we'll just get into some sort of giant metal or glass cube, and you can observe us for a while and then

tell us which gender role you play.

But this is very girl moves that you're wearing the ring.

Well, we're both wearing rings.

You know when gay people are really gay?

Like, it throws me off.

I'm like,

but, you know, who's the girl who's the boy?

Like, I'm like, still, like, well, don't actually be gay.

Who's the girl who's the boy?

Is what a man in a cowboy hat asks you on a plane.

All right.

See, for me, I feel like I'm so immersed in,

I don't know, I have a lot of, a lot of queer friends, but also queer culture.

I said to my husband the other day, I was like, well, I'm, you know, I'm the bottom.

i'm just married to a man i'm just married to a cis man yeah i'm the bottom you're the bottom i was like i'm not a top and he was like yeah

men are the top some women are the bottom but i guess there are some i could be the top i've never pegged my husband there's always we speak

it's come up it's come up as a as a as a possibility i don't currently crave that power dynamic.

Does he?

He does not.

Not.

He's not, no.

Because you know, I had a boy once.

He wanted me to put a plastic bag on my finger and I should put it up and

maybe Bennett should leave.

Sorry.

Get him out.

He instantly forgot about the child.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know.

We didn't think of condom something.

We were only like, you know.

I mean, we were of age to think of a condom.

I was maybe 21 when this happened.

I hear the prostate is a beautiful experience.

but he brought out like a Ralph's bag.

Like a plastic bag.

I've only asked one question and it's so I understand you're in a new show.

It's getting fantastic reviews.

I'm thrilled about it.

Dying for sex on Hulu and Hacks on HBL Max.

Well, the thing about the

Dying for Sex is about a woman trying to become sexually liberated while dealing with cancer.

And it raised the question, which is, can people have sex when they're tired?

No, but you know what?

Me and my wife, it's not possible.

Me and my wife

were so honest with each other.

Like I'll pitch, we do this thing because I used to be, I used to think I was very open with sex.

I thought I'm open.

I'm sexual.

But I don't talk, I won't like say, oh, should we hook up tonight?

Like I, I don't speak such things.

In a weird way, I'm like, I guess that's what they mean when you're talking about about it.

I guess I would like, you know, do the moves, like we're in bed, like, but I wouldn't, I would never like pitch to her, like, oh, we have the night off.

Like, do you want to fool around tonight?

Now I do that.

Huh.

So I'm like, oh, I'm talking about sex in a way.

Like, it felt like so weird to pitch it unless it happens organically.

That's marriage.

It has.

You got it.

You start talking about it.

You start planning for it.

Yeah.

So we, because we like the organic and we also like this, because this is kind of exciting too.

I'll realize, oh, we're getting off early, pun intended.

And

I don't know if she has anything going on, but I'm like, maybe, maybe I'll make dinner or something.

So we do that.

And

I don't even know what the point of this was, but

if we're tired, if she does the pitch to me, if we had sex or whatever, if I'm tired and we haven't had sex,

okay, I'm tired two minutes.

I'll get over it.

I'm tired the beginning part and then I don't realize I'm tired.

Yeah.

But if we've just recent and then

I, we say, oh, and she goes, she normally goes, me too.

I was just checking.

When you say recent, are you talking about like earlier that, like, that hour?

Or are you saying like, this is within the last couple days?

Nice.

Yeah.

Rachel,

in your book, you talk about worrying about what happens if you masturbate to porn while pregnant in case your fetus is somehow imprinted by the porn you watch.

I forgot that I wrote that, but that was very, very smart.

And now that's a worry that I'll have again.

Did you put it into the book to kind of get rid of it?

I think I did.

I think that's how I deal with a lot of my intrusive thoughts.

That's funny.

Yeah.

Well, now she's five,

so she's and she's not into porn.

So I guess that that answers my question.

I have a question for you, Rachel.

So did you have sex when you were pregnant?

Okay, so do you consider that a threesome?

That's a no.

Because you were worried she was thinking back then.

So you think she was like, oh, dad's dick is here now.

Dad, well, the good thing is.

Something, if they can see the dick, something is going to happen.

Yeah, I mean, she's right there.

No, no, no, but it shouldn't.

Something would be very wrong.

If a dick was going into the uterus,

that could probably cause sepsis.

Is that a doctor?

It's a thin film.

That would probably cause sepsis.

Well, because it's bumping up against the cervix, but it's only when she feels a bump.

She's definitely feeling something, and I really.

There's some poke in her.

I did read somewhere that when you have an orgasm and you're pregnant, it makes the baby feel like they're in a hot tub.

That

there are like little bubbles.

So that was cute.

i think what was mine did you ever tell your daughter you came while she was in you um would i or do i is this a conversation people have i don't have kids i don't know

so my so my daughter's five um

so

so um

honesty is the best policy yeah what would you feel like not having kids that sometimes you that you don't you feel like you don't you're gonna say the wrong thing you don't know you don't know how to address the the parents with the kids like they're a whole nother universe.

I know.

Yeah, you don't know what's okay.

Or you don't know what's okay to say.

I mean, like, my daughter, she knows that babies grow inside, you know, a belly.

I mean, it's not a belly, it's a uterus, but whatever.

That babies grow in the belly.

And she hasn't asked further than that.

So, no, I have not told my five-year-old.

That's just

21.

She's of age, I'm saying.

By the way, I came a couple of times when you were there.

You're good friends by this point, God knows.

I think if she.

No, you're saying you don't say that.

Okay, she asked.

Some things, obviously, she's not the best mom.

I think she'd have to ask.

No, asking is.

We have to have a,

I think I'm such

an expulsive person.

I'm such an overshare.

I think with her, I've been mindful.

Like, she asked, our dog is 15.

That's just a cute story that our dog's 15 and she's doing great.

But she asked, why hasn't Wiley ever had puppies?

And I was like, because

Wiley can't.

And she was like, why?

And I started to be like, Well, Wiley had her uterus taken out, and my husband was like, No,

and he was like, She never wanted to, she was focused on her career.

But I was about to explain, like, spaying to my kid, because the medical stuff, you say to your kid, you know, you use the term, the real terms, you use, I try to use the word vulva, which is the correct term for the entire area, you know, it's not just vagina,

but you don't care.

So, when

you, the whole area to you, it's okay to call that vagina.

Yeah.

But even though it's technically, it's the vagina is just the one hole.

Okay.

Anyway,

I'll say I use medically accurate, non-judgmental

terms.

And again, to just reiterate, no, I have not told my five-year-old that I came.

Which, by the way, is better that you haven't.

By the way, I would leave that in your court, obviously.

Now, I'm so convinced you're going to come over to my house now and be like, oh, kid, come here.

Listen, I think it would be way worse if your husband told her this one day.

Yeah.

Because he also came while she was there.

And that would be way worse, in my opinion, a father should never tell a daughter this.

And look, that's something we've always said here at Love It Early Event.

Hey, question.

Influencers are trying to reach uncontacted tribes, like one in the

North Central Island.

Someone needs to stop them.

On the one hand, experts call it a human rights abuse, but on the other hand, is it?

Yeah, you're going to die.

You're going to get killed.

They're going to murder you.

Well,

that's bad for you.

Leave them just, everyone just leaves everybody alone.

You go on somebody's lawn, you get shot up on the block.

I don't go to somebody's lawn.

I don't do nothing.

I walk on the sidewalk, and that's where I am.

Never mind some ancient tribe somewhere.

You do your thing.

Enjoy.

I don't even want to know what's going on.

So are they landing there?

Are the influencers?

What are they doing?

Well, are they dropping leaflets?

The influencer had a GoPro and was trying to get content, but then seems to have left without having gotten any contact, but left behind a Diet Coke and a coconut.

I don't really know why.

I don't think he's like crushing it.

So is it a human rights abuse to leave behind a Diet Coconut?

It's a human rights abuse to contact these tribes because A,

there's the possibility of disease, and then B, they are undisturbed.

They are isolated tribes.

They have not had contact with the rest of civilization.

And so it is like to the to the experts that care about this, it is that the encroachment on their on their tribes and on their kind of autonomy would be eradicating.

It would be genocidal.

Like you have to leave these tribes.

There's no such thing as rules.

We made these all up.

Okay.

So

rights, like you're speaking of them, like, is it a human rights?

Like, sure, There's morality that we've but yeah humans can basically do whatever they want for the time that they're here There's not really anything.

I mean, we have no idea like like humans There's nothing stopping anybody from doing anything.

Look what's going on in this country.

So yeah, I mean it sucks that they would do that.

I wouldn't do that to other people, but if other people did it to them, I'd be like humans can basically do if you wanted to kill somebody, you could right now.

You'd get in trouble.

Like you have to face consequences because we have a society set up, but you could do it.

It's like when comedians get mad that they can't talk about anything anymore.

You hear about the Chappelle, he's transphobic, or you can't say anything anymore.

Bro, you could say whatever you want, but there's going to be a consequence.

Like, you could say you could be transphobic, you could do whatever you want.

Some people might be mad at that.

That's what that is.

Nobody's saying nobody can't do nothing.

You can kill as many people, you can do whatever you want.

Well, no, I think that's

there might be consequences.

It doesn't mean you cannot do it.

I just, I I looked at him.

I'm really glad that the child has left.

Yeah, no.

Was there a child here?

Yeah, he's gone.

I saw him leave.

It was a good idea.

I saw my father take my nephew back.

Okay, that's good.

It's because of me?

I think it was at some point where you were doing this.

Several different versions of this.

There was a Ralph's.

There was this.

There was this.

There was this.

You know what?

And then he was gone.

She's saying Volva to a five-year-old.

Well, I mean,

yeah, no, for sure.

I'm using protection or else back.

How many, all right, let's take a vote.

Who is more responsible for my nephew having to leave?

Is it Rachel?

Who's the pagan?

Thank you.

Thank Peggy wasn't Bobby.

Or was it Bobby?

Wow.

Wow.

Whatever.

Pretty tough.

And here's the thing.

Do you think am I going to hear about this later?

What do we think?

Mom?

Well, mom, am I in trouble?

I'm in trouble.

Stephanie,

your son, am I in trouble?

Stephanie, I apologize.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, what are your thoughts?

The questions can all come to me.

He's going to have questions.

But here's the whole thing.

You invite people who know me.

Come on.

I don't think they know you.

No, but I'm saying this is a

real comedy show.

This is what people are doing with kids.

And then I'm in trouble.

I'm at a comedy club.

I'm at a comedy club.

No one's getting you in trouble.

No one's.

Oh, to be clear, you're doing your job.

I'm sorry.

Mom, mom, and I took a picture backstage.

Are you mad at me?

I used a bag.

It's safety.

Do you understand?

It's actually better.

It's actually better.

One day you'll all thank me.

I promise you this.

Your kids are asking you.

Hey, don't go anywhere.

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So, Robbie,

you got married early this year.

Rachel, we were talking about this backstage.

You've been married for 17 years.

I've been with my husband for 17.

I've been married for 10.

Wow.

Tips?

Any tips?

Yeah, any tips?

Just communicate.

Look,

I think most of it is luck.

I just met the right person at the right time.

But also,

we just are open with each other and we communicate really well and we respect each other and we make the subtext text the best that we can.

And you have to keep having sex.

That's also very important.

Yeah.

And how long have you been married?

I've been married for three months.

Any tips?

Yeah, I agree.

I just,

yeah, I got lucky type of thing.

I mean, I love to hang.

I used to keep like girlfriends separate from, like, I would go out.

or be with my friends, but I love to hang out with Gabby as well.

So now it feels like I get to be like high school

girls that touch each other.

And the whole thing is very erotic and it's fantastic.

And we're best friends, but we also touch each other.

Yeah, same.

So it's very, it's like, yeah, it's like, I get that whole, like, I used to think it was gay when people said, I'm marrying my best friend.

I'm like,

you think it was gay?

Yeah, like, not gay like that.

Just because I say something's gay doesn't mean it's gay.

Like, you mean like, like, 90s gay, like the pejorative.

Yeah, like the chair is gay.

Obviously, it's velvet.

It's not gay.

Who cares?

But you know what?

We're best friends who fool around and

she's also my baby and I'm her baby and we don't want kids and we just get to be

everything for each other.

It's really been been a great few years with her.

And you got married in Vegas?

We did.

Wow.

That's cool.

Yeah, we were evacuated for the fires and by day three or four there,

she was saying, first of all, they hooked us up with a free room because at first we couldn't find a room.

room we were supposed to be evacuated we had to go to i was looking palm springs or joshua whatever's close by they told us to call and we couldn't have uh couldn't hear back from the hotels if there's a room i said babe you know where they have rooms no problem 24 7 vegas an hour and a half more we go there she had a hookup we get into the room where's world where's roars world shout out never heard of them and then um

and we had like kind it reminded me of hacks actually it was like it was like a wedding suite and she was like should we get married I'm like, oh, the fire is talking.

She's, you know, she has the, because I, I don't want her to get to a more, you know, because I've been saying it since I met her, but I don't like when it comes from her.

I'm like, oh, she's getting some things, it's not.

And then by day three, she was like,

I am going to Neiman Marcus and buying a dress.

And I'm like, okay, I got to go to Cartier.

And we just had the greatest wedding.

Like, we can't recommend it enough.

And you know what?

Should I tell you a secret?

Yes.

I actually can't believe I'm really doing this

by the time this comes out.

So we're actually legally getting married tomorrow.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

We found out that our Vegas wedding, we're married in Nevada, which no shade to Nevada.

I love the state, great state of Nevada.

Well, we don't live there.

So we're doing it.

Doesn't count on a federal level?

No, there's like five states where it does not count.

And Nevada is one of them.

That's why so many people like get married in Nevada because it's like you could technically just be married there.

If you, you know, it's like an easier wedding to do.

So

you're legally getting married in California on Friday.

Tomorrow, Shabbis.

How, what are you doing?

I can't say, but,

oh, it's just going to be us two again, as usual.

It's our favorite way.

Like, if you can get married, just the two of you.

I mean, my brother Shmully called me he's like I can't come to the wedding I said no

I have to tell you something

I like Rachel talked about pegging in front of my nephew you advocating for a wedding where my parents aren't there right my mother's gonna come on this stage and fucking kill you

but see your parents like gay people yes yeah so my parents it's like they don't even really

it's not really a thing and then her she's not with her mother and her father's military.

They're still trying to figure out.

So we're like, you know what?

Take your time.

Just

take your time.

Do you.

We'll do us.

And honestly, we went to the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Wynn Hotel.

I can't recommend it enough.

Oh, a great buffet.

I can't recommend it enough.

I went to Vegas.

Travel eggs, whatever you want.

Oh, it's incredible.

I went to Vegas before the 2020 caucuses in Nevada.

Stayed at the Wynn.

It was, it turned out two weeks before everything shut down.

I walked into that buffet.

I ate basically two meals in Las Vegas.

Both of them were my

one meal a day by myself.

Yep.

I went to the Wynn Buffet by myself and ate enough in a 30-minute span that I did not eat until the next time I went to the Wynn Buffet.

Oh, it's a one meal a day.

Yeah, yeah.

No, it's, yeah.

I remember the first time, I grew up in LA.

And so my, we started going to Vegas, I don't don't know, the first time I was five, but the first time I registered a buffet, I was, yeah, the first time I registered a buffet,

maybe actually this is when I was five.

And I just remember the first time going into the Luxor Pharaoh's Feast and being like,

this is the height of food.

This is the pinnacle of food.

And it showed me the beauty of binge eating.

And so I started to eat a bunch of meals, even outside of Vegas, as if I was still at the Pharaoh's Feast, which culminated in a couple times of me eating so much that I then threw up.

Wow.

This is not like, this is not an origin story of, I didn't have binge eating disorder.

I just really liked

free rice and cookies.

Yeah.

I'd say you, you know, you let the pharaoh said, let my lunch go.

Wow.

You know what I'm saying?

Trying to bring it back to the bottom.

That was really, really good.

I know they got nothing.

Wait, do you think the Luxor should do like a whole Passover thing?

Oh, absolutely.

Where they like reenactment.

I love an all-you-center.

What if they make a bunch of Jewish people repair things at the Luxor for the

week?

Like you get a bunch of Jewish people and you say, hey, we have a leaky faucet in this room.

Like they make like the entire cleaning staff is just a bunch of Jewish people.

And then there's a day where they release them.

Yep.

No, it's a cool idea for sure.

And you split the Bellagio fountain and all of the Jewish, and all of the Jewish people

who've been who've been working in the Luxor pyramid all week

get to bathe in the Bellagio fountain.

That's the greatest idea I've ever heard.

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

Please take it.

We should really do this.

If we wanted to actually have fun.

If Jews actually wanted to have fun, we'd reenact.

We would reenact being slaves in Egypt and being free.

Yes.

At the Luxor.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

If we really wanted to have fun, if we really wanted a good time.

Well, we don't want a good time.

We don't want a good time.

We're afraid of a good time.

Yeah.

That's the thing about Jews.

That's a perfect transition to the next part of our show.

Robbie and Rachel, I think it's fair to say that it's part of our collective Jewish heritage to shy away from exhibiting any traits that Goyem might consider cliché.

For example, using the word goim in front of the goyim.

However, in the spirit of Passover, I wanted to give all of us an opportunity tonight to lighten our mental load by embracing some Semitic stereotypes in a segment we're calling If the Jew Fits.

I will serve up a a Jewish stereotype, and Robbie and Rachel, you'll tell us whether or not the stereotype resonates with you.

First up, complaining, kvetching.

What's wrong with complaining?

To complain is to enjoy.

To me, this is one and the same.

I could be on a yacht and find it too shaky.

It doesn't mean

it doesn't mean.

It means I'm enjoying.

I'm alive.

I'm in the experience.

There's something that I find baffling.

Why are Jews so cold?

Or hot.

Or hot.

But my family,

you can't be under a draft.

My grandfather, when my mom was growing up, they would have to restaurant hop if the restaurant was too cold.

But we come from, I mean, some of, I don't know.

Because we're a desert people.

Well, I guess, yeah, look, if we're talking OG, desert people.

So I guess it's not, but it gets cold in the desert, too.

I was going to say in Europe, too.

Yeah, for sure.

So it depends how long your DNA is remembering back.

I just said Jews are cold.

They are cold.

We were

in Mexico at a really nice hotel over the holidays.

That was me.

Not to brag, we've been to Mexico.

Jewish president.

Oh, there is the Jewish president.

Claudia Scheinbaum.

Yeah.

Wow, I did not know that.

Her family, yep, she's a Ashkenazi, her parents, I don't know if they were survivors, but anyway, Ashkenazi Jewish ballet dancer, climate scientist, president of Mexico.

I wish her well.

Yeah.

It's amazing what you can have.

But so we're there and we're sitting, we're sitting at this, and we watch.

It was, we were there around Hanukkah, so we knew who all the Jews were because we had done a candlelighting.

And so then we're sitting at this table and we watch just Jewish family after Jewish family just say no to this one table.

They just got walked to the table.

Ari remembers this, and they were like, nope.

And they would get walked to another table.

And then another Jewish family came.

They tried to say that, nope.

It was behind a pole.

They couldn't see the view.

What?

Moved.

Moved.

Three Jewish families said no to this table.

And then a lovely, very clearly not Jewish couple are sat at this table.

They eat their home meal.

And they're so happy.

And at the end, the man said the most kind of Christian thing I've ever heard, which is he turned to the waiter and said, Would you please send the chef our compliments?

I don't think a Jew has ever said that.

No.

I always have envy for these type of people because it takes me so much.

I feel like it's like if you get started watching porn, then you need crazier and crazier porn.

These type of people.

It's like sometimes I'm on a plane.

I was on a plane next to just a regular Midwestern type of lady.

She must have been mid-50s.

She ordered Pinot Grigio, whatever.

She's watching Mall Cop 2.

Not Mall Cop 1, Mall Cop 2, Kevin James in a Mall.

Paul Blart, the Paul Blart one.

What?

Paul Blart?

Go on.

Paul Blart.

I don't know.

Was it Paul Blart?

Kevin James.

Yeah.

It's Paul Blart.

I don't know.

I don't know why I'm connecting.

It feels like I'm correcting Kevin James's pronouns, but I'm not.

It's just, it's Paul.

I think it's a quick.

It's Paul Blart.

Have you seen King of Queens?

I love that show.

Anyway, she is,

this lady is sitting next to me.

I middle see.

This lady, it's like

even the setup to any joke, she's already dying.

She's like plots down.

Like, she's like fucking dying.

Then as soon as the joke hits whatever the slapstick stupidity falls off the thing, she's the the wine is everywhere.

Like, she is, she's dying at this movie.

And meanwhile, I'm still looking for something to watch.

It takes me so long to find something.

And this lady could just throw on whatever's there and enjoy her life.

And I have an envy for these people.

Absolutely.

No, I know.

It is.

There's something about it, it's beautiful.

You're just sort of like, that's so cool.

They just enjoy so much.

I, I, I still

get like that when it comes.

Like, I will rewatch any of the Austin Powers, and I'm back to being in middle school.

And like, a couple weeks ago, I was like, My daughter has to see Austin Powers.

And so I turn on Austin Powers too.

And the first thing is like fat bastard having just fucked Heather Graham.

And I'm like, nope, never mind.

She will not see Austin Powers.

When I was pregnant, when I was pregnant, by the way, I would do a fat bastard voice all the time.

I would go, like, I'd be like, oh, my baby.

It was so fun where I was like, my baby's kicking my bladder.

It's like actually the main reason to have another kid just to be able to go around and do that.

How old's the nephew?

How old is Bennett?

Benny, how old are you?

Oh, he's back?

Shit.

You're only nine?

No, bro, nine is too young.

Wait,

you're 10.

You're 9?

No, nine is really young.

And actually, I can't guarantee my performance.

I thought we, then why did we...

Oh, was his three-quarters' three-quarters' birthday at Hogwarts?

I thought he would be 13.

Nine is too young, and I can't guarantee.

Well, I'm an R-rated performer.

So you're going to record a live comedy show at Hogwarts?

No, no, no.

We just went to.

I was like, how did you get in there?

Muggles can't.

Okay, at this point.

At this point, the parents, the onus is on you.

I am not myself a parent.

I don't really care.

Okay, so the onus is on you, and all the responsibility is with you, and I feel fine being me.

Thank you.

I thought he was 10.

All right.

Anyway,

we'll be right back.

Kate, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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And we're back.

Please welcome to the stage.

It's my actual mother, Fran Lovin, and my actual future mother-in-law, Wendy Schwartz.

Wow!

Careful, careful.

Wow, look at this.

Are you mad at me?

Welcome, Tell A.

Hi, hi.

Are you mad at me?

Okay.

Let's sit there.

I'm going to stay over here just because we don't have enough space.

All right.

Sit down.

It's great.

Thank you.

Mother.

You both look really great.

You look lovely.

Beautiful.

When you speak, just bring the mics up when you speak.

Mother?

Yes, do you?

Wendy?

Yes.

They say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

You two have literally met today, right?

You briefly spoke.

Did you cross paths at the house before the day?

We did.

We did cross paths, yes.

You've really never had a real conversation, so it's time for a segment we're calling meet the the Makatunam.

Makatunam is a Yiddish word that doesn't exist in English, but should as it means my child's spouse's parents.

Moms, I will provide you with questions, and I'll be checking in with Robbie and Rachel throughout to get their perspective on how well this bit is going.

Are you both ready?

Mom, kick it off.

I'm asking this to Wendy.

That's correct.

Okay, Wendy, you want to?

Mike, closer, Mike, closer.

When did you last sing to yourself or to someone else?

What, if anything?

No, no, you have to answer now.

No, Wendy, you've been asked a question.

The question was

Wendy, when is the last time you sang to yourself or to someone else?

This week.

What would you sing?

I sang a Jewish song that I really like in the shower.

Oh, what was the song?

O Sesh Shalom.

Osesh Shalom.

And you were singing that to yourself just like in the shower?

Yep, that's beautiful.

Yep.

Mother, when was the last time you sang a song?

It's been a while.

I don't have a very good voice.

All right, Wendy, over to you.

Okay.

You're asking me this.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Well, Bobby, I'm a Netflix comedian.

Like, I don't ignore the children.

I'm sorry he didn't tell me.

I assume.

But you also, you do come from children's TV.

When I worked in children's TV, I wasn't doing this.

Well, I am an Emmy award-winning children's writer, as a matter of fact.

Mother, what if anything is too serious to be joked about?

Well, I don't like when people have jokes and they hurt other people's feelings.

Okay, that's yours.

Now, Mom, you ask a question to Wendy.

It's a simple format.

Both very smart women.

I think you're going to get the hang of it.

I think there's only two more questions.

We kept it pretty tight.

Okay.

Oh, this is so sad.

Okay, Wendy.

Your house containing everything you own catches fire.

And after saving your loved ones and pets, and you have time to safely make a final dash to save one item, what would it be and why?

Oh, wow.

Probably some jewelry from

my

heritage, from my family.

Some jewelry from the family.

Well, so that jewelry had come a long way.

From, because, you know.

Yeah, from my mom, most likely, or my grandma.

Okay.

You said you know, but we don't know.

Well, just there, there, there, some of this.

I don't know what jewelry this was, but it could be jewelry that made it on the on the other side of the Holocaust, is what I was getting.

Yeah, no, none of that.

I was going to say, it seemed like, it seemed like Terry's trying to get it.

I was trying to let you bring up the Holocaust.

I can tell when someone is about to bring up the Holocaust.

Jewelry, I didn't know what jewelry it was.

I just thought if it made it all the way through the Holocaust, you'll grab it in a fire.

Well, it's probably a sentimental.

No, I understand it's sentimental.

I don't think she's getting it to melt it down and sell it.

Now, mom, what do you think about him bringing up the Holocaust to make her feel such a pain for no reason?

She wasn't even thinking.

Her head wasn't even there.

I wasn't there.

Yeah, the time wasn't great.

So, Fran, what would you say?

Oh, you're asking me what I'd say?

Well, that was your question, Wendy.

You have this one.

No, no, you have.

Mom, you're just meeting.

Don't be a bitch.

What would you save in a fire?

Well, I probably would save all my photos.

I mean, that's, you know, what I love the most.

Yeah, that's a good answer.

Okay, that's a good answer.

All right, Wendy, you want to ask the last one?

Well, no, I want to ask you a question.

You lived the fire.

What did you decide to save?

Well, we didn't really, I mean, we were, there was no fire near us.

We just left because the power went out, but still,

we didn't have any Wi-Fi.

Wendy, do you want to ask my mom the last question?

Okay, Pran.

What do you value most in a friendship?

I value most in a friendship would be honesty and

someone who's there for you

And some laughter.

You know, all that.

It's good.

That's very nice.

A lot of pathos from you tonight.

A lot of what?

When she read that question about the house burning down, it was like she was really there.

Did anyone else catch that?

It was like a real performance.

Should we ask questions?

If you'd like.

What are both of your thoughts on God?

Thank you, moms.

You did an amazing job.

And because

I need you both to love each other,

those questions were all from the famous New York Times list of 36 questions that lead to love.

One more time for free.

Are you in love?

Okay.

Thank you, mom.

Thank you, Wendy.

When we come back, we'll splin the wheel.

And we're back.

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Next week, I'll be joined by Bob the Drag Queen, Bradley Whitford, and Jessica Kerson at Dynasty Typewriter Servino.

Jessica Kirsten is so funny.

Such fun.

It's going to be a great show.

It's fantastic.

Crooked.com slash events will be

not bring kids.

At Dynasty.

It's not like someone else brought kids.

I did it.

I did this.

It's my fault.

I'm the one that's going to pay.

Like, if I want to get a real company, I could go to HR for this.

Like, let's say, like, this was really my company, and there's like a kid that's like, I will do grown-up stuff.

It's like having at a construction place, you just let some lady walk in without shoes on.

It's like a violate, you know what I mean?

It's like it's like dangerous.

I feel like

it's a liability.

I just want to stop you.

If you think that the audience needs an analogy to understand

why talking about pegging in front of children is frowned upon, like they got it.

By the way, did I say pegged?

She broke it.

It was all me.

It was all me.

And you know what?

I said with plastic rep, not even pegged.

Not going back to it.

We're moving on.

To be clear, I was talking about character Peg Bundy.

Bennett, along with Benny.

Married with children.

Played.

No, it was by Katie Sagal.

Bennett.

She wore a lot of lesser experience.

No,

no, no.

And this saturday.

There's nothing wrong with the human body.

You're exploring.

And so Peg Bundy, she would go, ow.

She would go, ow.

Die a new wheel.

She would go, ow.

Die, Die Adu.

Die, Dianu!

It's like if you're going to have your kids try alcohol out at your house, you get to see them, you regulate them, give them some manischevits.

You don't want them out there.

Here's how the Dianu wheel works.

I actually wasn't allowed to watch Married with Children as a kid, so that's actually

working.

I wasn't allowed to watch either.

And you remember, I would sneak in to watch it.

I watched Oz at 10.

Oh, my God!

Jesus.

My brother Levy had it on, and it was a fantastic show.

I would sneak MTV's Undressed.

Oh, yes.

Remember?

Well, MTV Undressed was an amazing show.

It was designed to hook children.

It was basically a drug.

Because every episode had three ongoing stories, and every episode,

each story was in a different place.

So the stories would have three beats.

And so each episode, a story would be at the beginning, a story be at the middle, a story be at the end.

Have you written a spec of Undressed?

You know a lot about the structure this is this is unusual and but but what was amazing about undressed is once in a while there would be a gay storyline i remember this

but and and it was the only place on television that you could regularly happen upon two boys kissing but and bennett has to hear about this

but when that what was interesting about undressed and if you go i this is just from memory truly just from memory of it airing at the time but basically they would show heterosexual kisses close-up but when they showed a gay kiss they would cut really far away.

So the gay kisses were always wide.

And it was like,

sucked.

Yeah, that's so.

I wonder what that because it's cable, right?

And so it's not like they were trying to fit into FCC guidelines.

This is boring.

I had a network show for four years, so I got to know intimately what the FCC allows and doesn't allow on network TV and what standards and practices will and will not allow, but it's not, it's not.

They did the right thing.

Yeah, they did.

So

here is how the Diana

Place

for kids, for gays, for different things.

Let's just all have some decorum and respect for one another.

Can I also say, for the record, though, my five-year-old completely understands gay people.

It's not for anyone who's like, how are you going to make, for anyone who's like, don't kiss in front of my kid?

Are you going to make me explain gay people to my kid?

It's really easy.

You just say, Some men love men and some women love women.

They go, Okay, it's so funny.

It is true.

The first time I heard about a trans person or anything like that was our cousin Pinski, who was enormous.

He was the size of the car and he was the greatest guy.

And he would come to visit us.

And we don't, I don't even know how he's my cousin, but it's like Pinski's in, he's got candy,

and

so we're in.

And Pinsky showed up.

His girlfriend must have been six, four.

So we're like, this is the tallest lady we've ever seen.

And we went up to my mother and my mother was just like making, like, making.

And I'm like, Ma, what's up with this?

Like, and we were like all asking her, like, me and my brother Schumelis, like, why?

Like, Binski's girlfriend is so tall.

Like, this is the tallest girl we've ever seen.

And we kept saying, how tall are you?

You're a kid.

How tall are you?

You know, and she was happy to tell us and whatever.

And I was like, what's with Binski?

And she goes, she was born a boy and now she's a girl.

And I'm like, oh, okay.

And it totally made it sense.

It made it, that's why she's tall.

Like, it was like, oh, I must have been like five or six years old.

I'm like, oh, makes sense.

And we all moved on.

That was the end of that.

There was no follow-up.

I was like, oh.

Okay.

And then we just, yeah.

And so, and he just was like, he was with the trans woman for years and years, but we never knew she was a trans woman had that language, but we just knew she's a boy.

Now she likes to be a girl.

But it never came up past that again.

It was just like we figured it out.

So it's very easy.

And then you don't have, if you make it a bigger deal, it's like if a kid falls,

it's fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like, it's fine.

If you make it a big deal, oh, what happened?

They're going to be screaming, crying.

It's almost like we need to take the whole conservative movement and just when, and then show them a bunch of trans and gay people and just go, you're okay.

It's no big deal.

You're okay.

You're fine.

You're going to get up and run around and have a good time with your friend.

You're okay.

Yeah.

You're okay.

You're a tough little guy.

You're okay.

Exactly.

It's like, oh, and they just want to know what happened.

Like, everybody just, it's just, it's, yeah, I agree to some extent.

That's it.

Nope, we're going to spin.

Now it's time for the Diane wheel.

Here's how it works.

We're going to spin the wheel.

And we'll each have one minute to talk about something that we've had enough of.

Die Diane.

Oh, it's spinning.

It has landed on Robbie.

What's something you've had enough of?

You know what it is?

How did you get a new phone?

So somebody texts you, and then you go,

I'm sorry, who's this?

And they take it so personal.

Like, I'm not saving numbers, bro.

Like, it takes me a whole thing to go new, add contact, do it.

It's like,

why can't I ask who's this?

Even if I know you and we're friends, like, what's the big?

It's like, you don't know my phone situation.

Like, you don't know.

Like, maybe I just down, maybe I just got a new phone.

Maybe I just never save numbers.

I used to like to memorize numbers, so I never used to save numbers.

Now it's too many numbers to memorize.

But I'm like,

just throw me a name.

Like, bro, like, it's not that personal.

Yeah, it's enough.

It's enough, Diano.

If somebody says, if you message somebody, and they say, oh, no problem, who is this?

Don't go, oh, my God.

It says, it's like, great.

I'm thrilled to hear from you.

It's like,

what's there's no problem here.

There's no problem here.

Why we have problems with these problems, Dainu?

We have enough problems.

We've got enough problems.

We don't borrow trouble.

Dainu.

Let's spin it again.

It's perfectly rigged.

Oh, wow.

Rachel, you're up.

What is something you'd like to say, Dainu, to

Human beings in groups.

Except in a theater.

I don't think, other than when it's groups of people gathered for positivity, which can be very powerful, I think something tribal happens when you get human beings into groups.

And this is in person.

This is...

social media.

I just think that there is a group mob thinking is very, very,

is very alarming alarming to me.

But at the same time, community is fantastic.

But I guess that's when you talk about community, I guess, that's for a good cause.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm over human beings and their adrenaline being up when they're in groups.

Something happens when you kick in the lizard fear brain in groups of people.

And I was reading an art, this is, I sound like I'm 70, I was reading an article in the New York Times about George Orwell and how

everyone across the political spectrum loves to say, this is Orwellian, this is Orwellian, right?

They love to think that George Orwell would be on their side, right?

That George Orwell would know he'd be liberal or he'd be conservative, but George Orwell was actually very mistrustful generally of systems, of codified systems, of groups.

And I guess that makes me Orwellian right now.

Oh, yeah.

Nice.

I know that's not a funny answer, but it doesn't need to be.

It's true.

Yeah, I just,

I just, Diane knew, I think human beings on an individual one-to-one level are very redeemable.

I like a gupang, though.

I like a grouping.

I like a positive one-on-one.

It's too much pressure.

I like who's all going to be.

Remember flash mobs when everybody would get together and do a dance at the mall?

So I guess I'm saying human beings in groups when it's not something like positive.

Four or five people watching a movie is a good time.

You know what?

I don't know.

You're right.

I think.

You heat up some pizza bagels?

Pizza bagels.

I like groups.

Mini pizza bagels, 14 minutes.

I guess I didn't think this through.

I like people in groups when it's positive.

There's just something about sitting.

You don't like to shit talk?

I love to shit talk.

Okay, you ever get somebody, there's some good tea going on.

Oh, I love it.

I love

the tea.

You're right.

Hit me with the tea.

Dianu, let's spin it one more time and see who it's going to land on.

Here's it has landed.

Here's what I would like to say, Dianu, too.

It's a very specific thing.

It is the increasing number of inanimate objects that people are referring to as she or her.

I have grown sick of it.

It's getting my hackles up.

It's getting something.

It's turning something.

It's making me uncomfortable.

It's making me nervous.

I'll see a social media video,

the way all the kids would say it, of someone, someone will get a new person, say, look at her, I love her.

Okay, okay.

Then it's somebody makes, I don't know, like a chicken dish and there's like, look at her, she's beautiful about a chicken dish.

I saw somebody make a dining room table and say, look at her, she's beautiful.

It's enough.

It was weird when it was just boats.

It's weird that it's sometimes countries, but not all countries because some of the countries are men.

What are the lady countries?

America.

People are saying, like, I love her.

Yeah.

My God, I need to be more on.

But Germany's a man.

It's giving

chauvinistic.

It is giving chauvinistic families.

Wow.

Wow.

Do you know what that was?

What's wrong with the chicken?

That was conversationally, you put a carrot in a box, and I grab the carrot.

I'm stuck in the box.

You really?

No, because this is the.

We forget that gay men are men.

We forget this.

We forget this.

It's an important thing.

That is true.

Some of the most chauvinistic things ever said to me have been said by gay men.

Thank you.

Well, absolutely.

The gay male gaze is very real and it's withering.

Yes, thank you.

Well, like a truly misogynistic gay man is so much more dangerous than a misogynistic straight man because you truly have nothing to offer the misogynistic gay man.

Exactly.

They've been some of the meanest people because they're like, you give me, you give me nothing.

You give me nothing.

And so you're just a face of flab and wrinkles that gives me nothing.

I don't want to fuck you.

I just see you as an imperfect canvas.

This is a true story.

And I think,

and I think that's a wonderful place to say, Dianu

for that, because

we have to put a stop to that.

That is our show.

Incredible.

And the game and misogyny.

Incredible.

Robbie Holland.

I have to ask you who it is.

Wendy Schwartz.

Bran Lovett.

Give it up to Bennett.

Give it up to Bennett.

Bennett.

There are a lot of days until the next election, but not as many as there were last week.

We will see you next week at Dynasty.

Have a great night.

Thank you for coming out.

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