This F*cking Guy | Stephen Miller: Everything You Didn't Know About His Sh*tty Past
On this episode of "This F*cking Guy," Host Erin Ryan, and Crooked Media's Julia Claire dive deep into Stephen Miller's xenophobic past and obviously present. From his racist beginnings as a student, to helping implement the Muslim Ban as Trump's Senior Advisor, to his continued obsession with illegal immigrants in Trump’s second administration, this is truly one of our most depraved guys yet.
If you enjoy this episode, you can subscribe for video versions of This F*cking Guy on Hysteria's YouTube channel or by searching This F*cking Guy on YouTube or Spotify. You can also subscribe to Hysteria wherever you get your podcasts to hear audio versions of the show, now twice a month!
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In each episode, the hosts of Hysteria, Aaron Ryan, and Alyssa Mastramonico select one distinguished gentleman currently making America less awesome and gets you up to speed on all of his low-down dirty dealings.
With jokes and deep research that can only be described as a public service, Alyssa and Aaron help us understand the path these creeps took to power power, and in so doing, help us understand how we, all of us, ended up in our current predicament.
This week's show focuses on none other than C-plus Santa Monica fascist Stephen Miller, and boy is it a doozy.
So check out this episode and please subscribe for video versions of this fucking guy on Hysteria's YouTube channel, or by searching this fucking guy on YouTube or Spotify.
You can also subscribe to Hysteria wherever you get your podcast to hear audio versions of the show now twice a month.
Because let's face it, it's 2025 and there are a lot of fucking guys.
Welcome to another episode of This Fucking Guy, the show where we choose one fucking guy making America worse and explore the reasons they suck.
I'm Aaron Ryan, host of Crooked Media's Hysteria Podcast.
And this time, I'm delighted to be joined by Crooked Media's Julia Clare, co-writer of This Fucking Guy, who many of you will remember from our three-part series on Donald Trump.
Hi, Julia.
Hi, Aaron.
Thank you so much.
I am a glutton for punishment.
This episode's subject is one that, as you can see, many of you have been clamoring for, much in the the way that a mob of angry townsfolk would clamor for Dracula to emerge from his castle after he kidnapped and exsanguinated one too many of the town's preteens.
Well, put down those pitchforks because we're bringing out that MAGA nosferatu this month, Stephen Miller.
A man who has never won an election in his life and has the charisma of a toilet rat, but nevertheless has been forced on us like male Instacart shoppers or Adam Levine.
The sight of him evokes the feeling of opening up the kitchen trash the day after somebody cleaned out the fridge, like a giant broccoli parted in the pin.
A face so punchable that he's not allowed to attend boxing matches lest he distract the fighters.
Like many subjects of this fucking guy, Miller is a Trump gadfly, but unlike many previous subjects, Miller seems to actually believe what he's saying, or at least he wants us to believe that he believes what he's saying.
Because as he's alluded to in at least one interview, triggering the libs with his bad opinions is the only thing that gives his life meaning.
But I cannot stress enough that despite the fact that he tries very hard to shock people, the overall effect is tiresome.
The story of Stephen Miller is one of an unremarkable man, not good looking, medium-smart, sexually repellent, not funny, who, like many others in Washington, wants to be interesting.
And since he can't embody any of those other superlatives, he's chosen to be the most obnoxious.
Like Shakespeare's Iago, Miller's motivations are opaque.
Are there lessons to be learned from his Hitler-light histrionics?
I'm actually not sure.
Miller seems like somebody who had every chance in life to turn out good, or at least normal, but just came out weird.
A defective dickhead on the conveyor belt of human souls.
Okay, so without further ado, let's talk about Stephen Wilhelmina Miller.
Wait, is that his middle name?
No, but wouldn't it be funny if it was?
Okay, moving on.
Stephen Miller was born, or summoned, from the underworld, on August 23rd, 1985.
He grew up in Santa Monica, California, in a a not particularly political Jewish family.
That's right, but little Stephen officially came out as a conservative in middle school when he began subscribing to Guns and Ammo magazine, the official magazine for feeling bad about your dick.
God already laying the groundwork as an enormous loser.
A middle schooler interested in guns and ammo, certainly no red flags there.
Also, a preteen from Santa Monica getting really into guns as if he would ever have cause to use one is a particular kind of cowboy cosplay that in America more commonly leads suburbanites to buy enormous pickup trucks.
We know you're just using that truck for Starbucks runs, Carl.
Anyways, the young Miller was then fully radicalized after reading the former CEO of the NRA's manifesto titled Guns, Crimes, and Freedom, which stridently argued that America was under attack from outsiders.
A lot of you might be thinking that these political attitudes sit in stark contrast with the modern-day California of our collective understanding, but as journalist Jean Guerrero wrote in her 2020 book, Hate Monger, Stephen Miller came of age in the 90s when California was a hotbed of anti-immigrant sentiment.
Always a good reminder not to become such an absolute ghoul that a journalist one day writes a book about you called Hate Monger.
Oh my gosh.
California in the 90s was under the governorship of Republican Pete Wilson, who repeatedly railed against what he called, quote, an invasion at the border and blamed all of California's fiscal problems on immigrants.
Sound familiar?
After beginning to marinate in this ferociously anti-immigrant rhetoric, Stephen Miller called up one of his few pals at school, Jason Islas, and informed him that they could no longer be friends because Jason's family was Latino.
Not a particularly wise decision considering that Miller was already cultivating his signature table-for-one vibes.
One classmate recalls that even in a school where nerds were considered cool, he was still the guy that nobody liked.
Ouch.
Sounds like a great example of how sometimes bullying can work too well, creating bullying-resistant superassholes in much the same way that over-prescribing can lead to antibiotic-resistant super bacteria.
He seems to really delight in being a heel and decided to double down on his villain persona in place of developing an actual personality.
In 2017, a video of Miller's high school student government campaign speech emerged in which he argued that students shouldn't pick up their own trash because janitors exist.
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of being told to pick up my trash?
And we have plenty of janitors for our family!
That video perfectly encapsulates his bratty little prince.
I know.
He's just like, he's just such a brat.
His classmates quickly booed him offstage.
Saying truly horrible things without apology was, again, something Miller seemed to really enjoy.
After 9-11, Miller took to his high school newspaper column and penned an article called, quote, A Time to Kill, in which he urged a violent response against radical Islamists a catch-all category into which Miller appeared to suggest that most Muslims fell and accused his classmates and administrator of inadequate patriotism sorry but Santa Monica High School this one's on you for letting a minor publish an article called a time to kill which is already the title of another thing that was very popular
hack behavior.
Here's another clip of 17 year old Miller joking about torturing Iraqis.
Cool.
But as to Saddam Hussein and his henchmen,
I think the ideal solution would be to cut off their fingers.
I don't think it's necessary to kill them entirely.
We're not a barbaric people.
We respect life.
Therefore, torture is the way to go.
Because torture, people can live.
Torture is a celebration of life and human dignity.
It's something so pussy about a guy being like, get him, boys.
Yeah.
Get him.
Get him, boys.
That's his whole...
That's his whole tough guy vibe.
Sees him.
At least he showed a sliver of self-awareness here.
But something's just not going right.
And my hair is just receding.
I look like I'm 35.
True.
And I'm bald.
I agree.
Yep.
Yeah, you know, you got to hand it to him there.
He does.
Look 35.
He does.
Describing him as dead behind the eyes doesn't really do it justice.
Miller's eyes are deader than anybody's eyes have ever been.
Miller kept falling deeper down the alt-right rabbit hole.
Teenage Stephen Miller became a pious adherent of conservative talk radio, listening to Rush Limbaugh and local host Larry Elder.
Miller began calling into Elder's show to rail against the administration at Santa Monica High School, who Miller complained were too tolerant of his Spanish-speaking classmates and too enthusiastic about multiculturalism.
Elder was so impressed by Miller's, I don't know, articulate racism that he even began regularly inviting him on the show as a guest.
That's the only way that Larry Elder could get a young person to talk to him.
In all, he appeared on Elder's show as a guest 69 times, which nice.
Swish.
But second, given what we know about Stephen, it makes sense that all of that attention, both positive and negative, went right to young Stephen's shriveled little prefrontal cortex and encouraged him to press onward in his pursuit of right-wing stardom.
It was on the Larry Elder Show that teenage Stephen Miller caught the attention of two men who would go on to shape the nightmare we know him to be today, Steve Bannon and David Horowitz.
Now we all know Steve Bannon.
David Horowitz was a member of the new left in the 1960s before pivoting to arch conservatism and whetting his white nationalist curiosity.
He took Stephen Miller under his wing and taught him that hope and fear are the two greatest weapons in politics, but fear is more compelling.
Horowitz eventually fed a strategy paper to Miller describing the need for the Republican Party to remake itself around the demonization of its political opponents and appeals to Americans' base instincts.
Hey, that's the exact plot of Wicket.
Oh.
Well, congratulations, David.
Some 20 years later, we can definitely say the Republican Party is doing exactly what you wanted, and America is so, so much worse for it.
According to Gene Guerrero's reporting, Horowitz also introduced the teenage Miller to even more explicitly white nationalist media, including websites like American Renaissance and V-Dare, both of which sound like gay hookup apps for college libertarians.
After high school, Stephen took his hateful little spirit across the country to Duke University, the Harvard of assholes, where he again wrote regular screens in the school newspaper in a bi-weekly column called
Miller Time.
The column was full of what you would expect from Miller by now, both because it was already the title for something else and because both Miller brand beer and Miller's writing leave the consumer with a distinct piss aftertaste.
In one article, Miller argued that laws requiring pay equity for men and women would hurt businesses and that the pay gap was mostly women's fault for not asking for raises, which, again, not original.
I just can't get over what a fun hang he must have been on the quad.
One of his classmates, who was also an editor on the Duke Chronicle, said of Miller, quote, I cannot remember a single person who was his friend, nor can anyone I know.
Yes.
Again, that sounds right.
Miller first entered the national spotlight during his senior year at Duke when three captains of the school's lacrosse team were falsely accused of raping a woman they hired as a stripper at one of their parties.
The case became a national lightning rod as the three players in question were white and their accuser was black.
Stephen Miller distinguished himself with an immediate willingness to believe that the white players were innocent before any details about the case were known.
To horrified reactions from fellow students and faculty, he showcased that he was predominantly concerned not that a woman might have been raped, but that young white men might have been wrongly accused.
It's now all but the standard response to any accusations of sexual misconduct from the right.
Miller devoted more of his school newspaper column to the case than any other topic.
For this, he was invited to be a talking head on CNN as well as two of Fox News' most popular shows, respectively hosted by Bill O'Reilly and Nancy Grace.
But you have a situation here where, like a lot of college campuses, you have this segment of professors that's very powerful and very, very far to the left.
And for the first time, a lot of students, and in a way, the American public at large saw the depths and the ferocity of that radicalism.
Despite the fact that the case fell apart within six months, all charges were dropped, the district attorney was disbarred, and each player received upwards of $20 million in settlements from both Duke and the city of Durham, the Duke La Crosse case is still invoked by American right-wingers 20 years later.
I'm not saying what happened to those three players wasn't traumatic.
It clearly was.
But from modern conservative rhetoric, you would think that they received the same unimaginable cruelty as the five black teenagers wrongly accused of rape in 1989 who became known as the Central Park Five, now the exonerated Five.
You know, the ones Donald Trump called to be executed by the state who were forced to spend their entire young adulthoods behind bars.
Yeah, and any false accusation of a crime as serious as sexual assault is awful.
But the fact that the right-wing media doesn't seem to make a peep when the accused aren't privileged white boys tells me that the issue they really care about isn't justice.
It's something else.
And Stephen Miller was a dutiful messenger of that something else.
The lacrosse case catapulted another young conservative firebrand who also happened to be a graduate student at Duke into the national spotlight.
His name was Richard Spencer.
Spencer and Miller met through the Duke Conservative Union, of which they were both members, and likely bonded over their love of, I don't know, whiteness, probably.
In later years, while trying to increase his national profile, Miller would attempt to distance himself from Spencer and pretend that he was not also a white nationalist, as Spencer self-identified.
But it was just never particularly convincing.
Richard Spencer also insisted Miller was not a white nationalist, but he said you can't be this passionate about the immigration issue and not have a sense of the American nation as it historically emerged.
Julia, can you translate that?
Sure.
That is white nationalist grad student code for he's not technically in our club, but he hates brown people so much that we invite him to the Christmas party.
Ah, okay, thank you so much.
After college, Miller headed to Capitol Hill, where his old pal David Horowitz got him a job as press secretary for then Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman.
Ah, jump scare.
I haven't heard that name in years.
You remember Michelle Bachman, don't you?
The Tea Party psycho who claimed the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation.
I'm so sorry.
Accused Huma Abedin of having ties to the Muslim Brotherhood and called Disney's The Lion King gay propaganda.
Like, Scar is definitely a bitchy queen.
I'll give her that.
But the Lion King isn't even bi-coded to me.
It's hetero.
It's totally hetero.
In 2009, Miller met, in many ways, his nativist soulmate when he began working for Alabama senator and living Confederate statue Jefferson Beauregard Sessions.
The senator whose actions and face demand that we ask the question: what would it look like if an elf on the shelf joined the KKK?
I'm sorry, I know.
He always just seems to pop up like a ghost from the Battle of Gettysburg.
In the spring of 2013, a bipartisan group of eight senators had drafted a bill that offered increased security at the U.S.-Mexico border in exchange for a path towards citizenship for undocumented immigrants living already in the U.S.
The bill looked all but certain to pass.
To say that Stephen Miller and his boss were ripshit about this legislation was an understatement.
The two men were completely incensed at the prospect of any compromise whatsoever on immigration.
Miller called Hill reporters and other congressional offices round the clock to blunt the measure.
Thanks in part to his relentless lobbying, the bill died.
By that point, Miller had an established reputation in the halls of Congress, known for his brazenness, his enormous forehead, and smoking like a chimney.
Ugh, I bet he smelled like...
Joe Campbell's nutsack.
Not great for the old complexion either, Stephen.
This guy is simply begging to age like milk.
Miller's myopic obsession with immigration carried him forward when Sessions became the first and only sitting U.S.
Senator to endorse Donald Trump in the 2016 Republican primary.
We all know what happened next.
Okay, dear God, how many times can we replay the 2016 Trump victory?
Miller continually denied being a white nationalist, but his presence on the Trump campaign and later in the Trump White House certainly set all the white nationalist bloggers clapping like dolphins.
After Trump's win, Miller didn't want an agency nomination or position that would subject himself to too much legal and congressional scrutiny.
Instead, he asked to head the amorphous internal group, the Domestic Policy Council.
There, he would try to do maximal damage with minimal oversight.
Stephen Miller's most lasting legacy from the first Trump administration were two of its cruelest policies, the Muslim ban and a zero-tolerance border policy that separated children from their parents.
His very first week in office, President Trump signed an executive order engineered by Miller barring all people from seven Muslim-majority countries from entering entering the United States.
This immediately sparked a wave of outcries, protests, and legal challenges.
And a court eventually struck the sloppily constructed order down on the grounds that it was, legally speaking, whack.
But it still created shockwaves.
Airports broke out into chaos with valid visa holders suddenly in limbo.
University students from the seven nations targeted were either stuck in the U.S., unable to return home, or stuck in their country of origin, unable to return to school.
All the while, Stephen Miller watched from his protected position with glee, like Nero watching Rome burn, if Nero were a man in his early 30s who looked 50.
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Miller continued on and rewrote a narrower version of the ban that the courts ultimately upheld.
Armed with the lessons of David Horowitz, he laundered white supremacist ideas through language about heritage, economics, and national security.
He quickly came to understand that the president's positions were largely based on the last person he had spoken to, because Donald Trump is a baby with no object permanence.
And Miller used that to his advantage, laser-focused on his immigration obsession.
In 2017, he convinced Trump to cancel DACA, an Obama-era order that protected undocumented immigrants who were brought into the country as children.
In an email to a Breitbart editor, he said that expanding the quote foreign-born share of the U.S.
workforce was an instance of immigration being used to replace existing demographics.
If that tinfoil hat rhetoric sounds familiar, it's because it's a well-known far-right conspiracy called the Great Replacement.
One of the first things Stephen Miller did in the White House was establish an office dedicated exclusively to the demonization of immigrants called the Victims of Immigration and Crime Engagement.
Miller proposed almost verbatim immigration policies recommended by far-right think tanks like the Federation for American Immigration Reform, which was founded by noted eugenicist and white supremacist John Tanton.
Those white nationalist accusations were becoming increasingly difficult to evade.
A 2019 report from the civil rights nonprofit, the Southern Poverty Law Center, exposed more than 900 emails Miller had sent to a Breitbart editor over a 15-month period between 2015 and 2017.
900 emails?
Log off, my dude.
In the emails, Miller urged Breitbart writers to aggregate stories that highlighted crime committed by immigrants and non-white people and directed them to his favorite white supremacist journals like the aforementioned American Renaissance and V-Dare.
Other highlights from the leaked emails included Miller being pissy that Amazon removed Confederate flag merch from its marketplace after the 2015 Charleston, South Carolina shooting, where a white man went on an anti-black rampage and killed nine parishioners at a black church.
Miller also promoted the racist French novel The Camp of Saints in the emails, another work popular among white nationalists about the destruction of the white world by non-white refugees.
But wait, there's more.
In another email, Miller approvingly forwarded an article arguing that the U.S.
should deport immigrants on trains, quote, to scare out the people who want to undo our country.
But don't call him racist.
Don't you dare call him racist.
Here he is throwing a hissy fit over the allegation that he may be racist, lobbed by CNN's Jim Acosta.
Are we just going to bring in people from Great Britain and Australia?
Jim, actually, I have to honestly say, I am shocked at your statement that you think that only people from Great Britain and Australia would know English.
It's actually, it reveals your cosmopolitan bias to a shocking degree that in your mind, no, this is an amazing, this is an amazing moment,
this is an amazing moment that you think only people from Great Britain or Australia would speak English is so insulting to millions of hardworking immigrants who do speak English from all over the world.
Jim, have you honestly, Jim, have you honestly never met
an immigrant
from another country who speaks English outside of Great Britain and Australia?
Also, cosmopolitan bias, bitch, you're from Santa Monica.
Yeah, the SPLC report spurred calls for his resignation, but only from Democrats.
Stephen Miller went on to become one of the Trump administration's longest-serving soldiers, surviving the near-constant turmoil and turnover that came to characterize the Trump White House.
Again, Miller's nebulous position on the White House org chart shielded him from serious consequences, but it also allowed him to walk around like he owned the joint, which even his equally awful Trump admin colleagues found unbearable.
Miller had inserted himself into the Department of Homeland Security's policymaking so often that DHS officials literally started hiding their work from him.
At one point, the head of the DHS ended up holding meetings in a classified security bunker just to keep Miller away, which then convinced Miller that there was a cabal of deep state actors trying to thwart Trump's agenda.
Wow.
I actually do love the idea that the deep state is just a group of people trying to avoid Stephen Miller.
That's a conspiracy theory I can get behind.
Okay, let's take a quick break from Stephen's endless barking to talk about his personal life.
Sorry in advance.
In college, he was rumored to have an on-again, off-again fling with a Latina classmate who was mean to him, which sounds like it could be part of his immigrant-hating supervillain origin story, except for the fact that he already made hating immigrants his entire personality before he got to college.
But beyond that one relationship that was more like light bullying, Steven, a heavy smoker with a receding hairline and the bedroom eyes of a serial killer's minion, wasn't very popular with the ladies.
Until that is, one very special lady came along.
Cue the Romantic music.
That was the theme from Sesperia, a 1977 Italian cult classic about a coven of murderous witches that retain their power through horrifying human sacrifice, which, even though I had to stop watching it at the Razor Wire scene, is actually a more heartwarming story than that of the courtship between Stephen Miller and his awful wife, Katie Waldman.
Either way, I'm sleeping with the lights on.
Okay, so Katie grew up in Weston, Florida, where, like her husband, she was completely unremarkable, except for her willingness to be mean and annoying for attention.
When she was in high school, she got into a feud with one of the only black teachers on her school's faculty over the teaching of Toni Morrison's Beloved.
And after the dust settled on that, she tried to bully the teacher's kid, one of the few black students in her school.
Wow, she sounds amazing.
While involved in student government at the University of Florida, her greatest achievement was voting down a measure that would have sent condolences to the family of Trayvon Martin, an unarmed black teenager who was murdered by a neighborhood vigilante.
In a thorough profile of the couple's obnoxiousness, Vanity Fair found sources from throughout Katie's life that described her as sociopathic, horny for power, and friendless.
Okay, maybe she and Stephen Miller are actually soulmates.
Anyway, one Thanksgiving, early in his White House tenure, Stephen's parents asked him if he'd met any nice girls.
And Stephen, in his typical normal and cool way, screamed at them that the topic was off limits.
Something tells me that that's not the first Thanksgiving meal that Stephen Miller has stormed away from.
But little Stevie wouldn't be lonely for much longer.
Katie and Stephen would meet doing their evil bidding for their evil bosses.
Katie and Stephen, who was a Santa Monica Zero and a DC one, met shortly after she got a job working for the National Republican Senatorial Committee and then the Department of Homeland Security, where she played a role in convincing her bosses to adopt the Family Separation Policy, aka the policy that led to that footage of migrant children in cages crying out for their mothers, which I guess Katie found pretty hilarious.
By the time Katie had made it to DHS, she was already well known for her shameless lack of scruples and for the unholy trinity of traits possessed by all the Trump comms minions, immaturity, arrogance, and utter incompetence.
So you can see why when she and Stephen Miller crossed paths, it was love.
Each had met their craven, deranged other half.
Stephen had everything that Katie had ever wanted: proximity to power, a willingness to date her, and
the rare Jewish Republican pedigree.
Although it should be noted that many people close to Stephen, including many close relatives and his childhood rabbi,
found him just as off-putting and awful as the rest of us and have disavowed him.
And as Stephen and Katie's relationship blossomed like a corpse flower, so too did Katie's career.
She eventually worked her way up to Mike Pence's press secretary.
The pair were married at the Trump National Hotel in D.C.
in February 2020.
A few weeks later, the COVID-19 pandemic would lead to a series of events that would ultimately shut the hotel down for good.
But was it the COVID or the curse of Katie and Stephen touching their wet little butthole-shaped mouths together that sunk the hotel?
Impossible to say, and I am so mad at you for conjuring that image.
You're welcome.
After their wedding, they move to Arlington, Virginia to mate and feed.
The pair have three children, two boys and a girl, or in the parlance of Trump's Supreme Court, two humans and one human minus.
But just because Trump and Mike Pence were voted out of office and suffered a now famous public breakup in the wake of that election loss, that doesn't mean Stephen hung back in Arlington to rest on his fascist laurels.
In between getting his wife pregnant an upsetting number of times in quick succession, he was laying the groundwork for the next Trump administration.
During the hopeful ellipsis between Trump administrations, Miller was busy humping his favorite chicken, illegal immigration.
You'd think a guy would get bored with harping on the same scare phrase for literal decades.
At this point, it's like seeing the same horror movie so many times you start noticing the shots that accidentally capture the boom mic.
And so Stephen Miller basically built the modern version of the right-wing narrative around undocumented immigrants causing all the problems.
And now we have to watch him waving around in public over and over, like the guy I see on Melrose and Western with his butt crack out every morning on my drive through Hollywood.
It's a beautiful city.
In addition to yammering on about immigration on every bad right-wing podcast you've heard of and some you haven't, Miller has been busy with an organization called America First Legal.
America First Legal aims to fight against policies meant to be more inclusive of women, black and brown people, and LGBTQ people across American culture.
He fights against what he describes as discrimination against whites, which is funny since for most of his life, he and his wife were discriminated against by whites who did not want to be friends with them.
Miller was also getting paid by the Save America PAC, which was a major proliferator of the mass delusion that the 2020 election was somehow stolen from Donald Trump.
Stephen's superpower has always been cockiness despite being surrounded by people who hate him.
The self-assurance of a pro-wrestling heel, except he's not in on the joke.
And so even before Trump emerged the victor in the 2024 presidential election, he was immediately ready to describe the administration's game plan over the next four years.
The simple part is seal the border, deport all the illegals.
In terms of the policy sets to accomplish this, you have your safe third agreements, you have remain in Mexico, finish the wall, you re-implement Title 42, and then you also deploy the military to the southern border.
You reassert the fundamental constitutional principle that you don't have a right to enter into our sovereign territory to even request the asylum claim.
The military has the right to establish a fortress position on the border and to say no one can cross here at all.
You know what?
It's stunning how long he has been doing this without improving as a public speaker in any measurable way.
Take that, Malcolm Gladwell.
If the story of the first Trump administration was the story of a group of rabid chimpanzees taking over an airport but having no idea what buttons to push to get the planes to take off, Trump 2.0 promises to be characterized by those monkeys having a passing understanding of what buttons to push to at least get the planes to go back and forth.
Which means that going into Inauguration Day, Miller has what he claims is a concrete set of actionable steps to execute the plans he laid out, including internment camps, camps, plans to deport up to a million people a year, a path for red state governors to deputize the National Guard to act as immigration enforcers, and other bullet points that would find themselves at home on the front page of a stormfront forum in the early aughts.
Trump has announced that he plans to name Miller deputy chief of staff for policy, a position that does not require Senate approval, which is great.
Not that it would matter anyway, though.
These particular GOP senators have the courage to stand up to Trump that a slug has to stand up to a salt shaker.
Which means that, trolling or not, things that Miller said during Trump's pre-election Madison Square Garden rally like this, Who's gonna stand up and say, The cartels are gone, the criminal migrants are gone, the gangs are gone, America is for Americans and Americans only, are closer to becoming reality than they've ever been, even though they're not original or interesting or even popular.
As Margaret Atwood has said, fascism is not exciting.
It's always the same plot.
And despite the fact that Miller bleeds for a desire to trigger the libs to be known as a provocateur, when history remembers him, it will be several lines down in a Wikipedia article about somebody who had more gravitas than he could ever muster.
He'll be a footnote to a footnote, an answer to a triple bonus question to break a tie on a DC bar trivia night.
Contemptible, but ultimately, like stepping on dog shit, unpleasant, but unoriginal.
and utterly forgettable.
Well, there you have it.
Stephen Miller, America's Gerbils, the Satan of Santa Monica, the Pol Pot of the Pacific, the Mussolini of Malibu.
Oh, God, don't do Malibu dirty like that.
All right, Julia, on a scale of one to five weasels, where does Stephen fall for you?
You know, I'm honestly starting to feel bad for weasels.
I feel like what did they ever do to be compared to these
steal eggs?
That's not that bad.
That's not that bad.
And with the cost of eggs, these things are easy.
I mean, come on.
In this economy,
I think he's got to be, he's got to be five because he really believes what he says.
And that's scary.
Yeah.
I'm going to agree with you.
I'm going to say this is a five-weasel fire
for the same reasons that you do.
And also his new position in the incoming Trump administration is
dangerously powerful and requires absolutely no oversight.
So that's going to be great.
Okay, time for us to sign off.
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And if you have any ideas for future this fucking guy subjects, leave them in the comments.
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Thanks for listening.
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On New Year's Eve, 1969, three men snuck into Chip Yablonski's childhood home and gunned down his family while they slept.
They killed him.
They killed them all.
Chip was convinced that the president of the United Mine Workers, one of the most powerful labor unions in America, was behind the murders.
And I'm saying, hang on, you son of a b ⁇ , because I want you to get your just desserts.
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