Chapter 44: Here be Dragons

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Speaker 3 Previously on Midnight Burger, into the muckleverse.

Speaker 7 I wanted a life of adventure.

Speaker 4 Madame Drink!

Speaker 3 All Courage, wannabe!

Speaker 10 Put on that parachute.

Speaker 11 We're gonna have to ditch this plane.

Speaker 12 Bugshot, Drake!

Speaker 14 What the hell are you doing at my bar?

Speaker 15 Morning, ladies.

Speaker 16 My name

Speaker 3 is Commandant Blunt of the Third Reich.

Speaker 19 Let's make some savocrap!

Speaker 20 To go into the jungle. And what do we do?

Speaker 14 The time has come to surrender.

Speaker 23 Labuza, I need you to look for the mark of the visitor.

Speaker 24 It's...

Speaker 7 it's here.

Speaker 25 Kazi, what the hell is the mark of the visitor?

Speaker 23 It's the sigil of our father.

Speaker 3 Labuza went on a little aventure with him uncle Wayne's, and together they discovered the secret plans of this guy. Killed them.
So what's his plan?

Speaker 7 You know his plan?

Speaker 11 I'm afraid we do, yes.

Speaker 3 Right, but what is it?

Speaker 7 It's not good news.

Speaker 27 All of that sucks.

Speaker 11 It is not a bouquet of flowers, Leif, that much is certain.

Speaker 14 At least we know something now.

Speaker 23 There are still several unknowns.

Speaker 28 God damn, this guy absolutely fucked up.

Speaker 19 What is his plan, though?

Speaker 12 I am going to have several questions, and then I'm going to have a plan.

Speaker 12 When you hear this plan,

Speaker 12 you are going to say,

Speaker 12 I'm out of my mind.

Speaker 12 And then we're going to do it anyway.

Speaker 3 Wait, now Gloria has a plan? What's her plan?

Speaker 3 Guys,

Speaker 3 what's her plan?

Speaker 3 Guys,

Speaker 3 well, I guess we'll just have to listen to the episode.

Speaker 3 Grab your torches, kids. We're going into the darkness.

Speaker 3 The midnight burger season finale

Speaker 3 has arrived.

Speaker 3 Let's start the shift.

Speaker 30 We're clear.

Speaker 12 Is it weird that this is exactly what I was expecting?

Speaker 28 No, it's pretty boilerplate stuff.

Speaker 3 Dark, ominous, beautiful.

Speaker 28 Classic Space Emperor.

Speaker 7 Can someone help me out? What are we looking at?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like Leif said, overcast skies, a thunderstorm in the distance.

Speaker 3 We're in some kind of massive garden.

Speaker 3 It's huge.

Speaker 3 Several acres. A lot of hedges and topiaries.

Speaker 3 Garden also has these smaller buildings in it. Then, directly opposite of us, on the far side of the garden, there's a huge

Speaker 3 mountain.

Speaker 23 That's not a mountain.

Speaker 3 Well, what the fuck is it?

Speaker 30 That's where we're headed.

Speaker 9 Oh, Jesus, that's his evil keep or whatever.

Speaker 28 That's not just his evil keep.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 3 What do you mean?

Speaker 21 It's a weapon.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 28 I think what we're looking at in the distance is what stranded us in Pasadena.

Speaker 3 The mountain is a weapon? Yeah.

Speaker 12 Well, which is it? Is it his castle or a weapon?

Speaker 14 Both.

Speaker 33 Casper.

Speaker 3 Okay, the mountain in the distance, as I was describing, is apparently a giant castle and also a massive weapon.

Speaker 3 It's huge. It reaches above the clouds.

Speaker 28 By my estimation, it reaches above the atmosphere.

Speaker 3 Jesus, this guy is not subtle.

Speaker 36 Avra.

Speaker 12 What are you looking at?

Speaker 13 A bar.

Speaker 12 What?

Speaker 37 The stone stone fox.

Speaker 24 What?

Speaker 12 Come here. Laif, you better come down.

Speaker 28 Coming down.

Speaker 3 Okay, Labuza, we're gonna head over here.

Speaker 7 Did she say a bar?

Speaker 13 Yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 38 Looks like a shitty dive bar.

Speaker 12 Why is it covered by some sort of force field?

Speaker 38 Probably to keep it here.

Speaker 39 I think we're looking at another thing like the diner and the paradise.

Speaker 38 You think it's trapped here?

Speaker 22 Just like he plans to do with the diner.

Speaker 12 Leif, what is this force field?

Speaker 28 It's not a force field.

Speaker 3 Well, what is don't walk through it? He walks inside.

Speaker 28 This isn't to keep people out.

Speaker 3 Leif, can you get out of there?

Speaker 26 Yeah, watch.

Speaker 41 See?

Speaker 22 It's like it's on display.

Speaker 12 Leif, what are the drones seeing right now? What are the other buildings in this garden? Hang on.

Speaker 17 Shit.

Speaker 28 There's at least a hundred of them.

Speaker 43 Bars, restaurants, a bookstore, a train station, I guess?

Speaker 30 All earth structures?

Speaker 26 No, actually.

Speaker 28 I see a fur schlick tree out there. A menite grinder.
Plus a bunch of structures that I don't recognize. It's a whole garden full of places like the diner.

Speaker 12 It's not a garden.

Speaker 38 It's a trophy case. And we're the latest addition.

Speaker 7 What about all the people?

Speaker 7 There must have been people living in all these places.

Speaker 12 I don't know. Before we go to meet the big boss man, we're gonna check some of these places out.

Speaker 24 Okay, Gloria.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 23 If it's all the same to you,

Speaker 23 I think the three of us would like to get on with this.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 36 I've got you, Libby.

Speaker 23 Good luck. And to you.

Speaker 12 We'll be right behind you. Hang on, guys.

Speaker 44 What's the word?

Speaker 12 It's a huge garden full of things like the diner. I guess the benefactor's been collecting them.

Speaker 11 We didn't see that coming. We did not.

Speaker 12 No, that's new information. We're going to check out these new places and then we're going to head in.

Speaker 38 I really hope this works.

Speaker 11 Well, Gloria, it's not as though we had all the choices in the world laid out before us.

Speaker 45 And I must say, this plan of yours has a level of.

Speaker 45 What's the word I'm looking for? Crazy. Yes.
A degree to which we've never seen before.

Speaker 47 Thanks.

Speaker 12 I hope.

Speaker 48 I guess we'll just cross our fingers.

Speaker 12 David, thank you for agreeing to stay behind. I think it's really helped Casper's head.

Speaker 48 It's no problem.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 12 Stay safe, y'all.

Speaker 12 Dear?

Speaker 11 Yes, dear. I must say, I find it odd that one so obstinate as David would agree so readily to remain with us.

Speaker 45 I agree, dear.

Speaker 45 Also, I do believe he is within earshot.

Speaker 11 Yes, I know he is.

Speaker 11 David, what have you got up your sleeve?

Speaker 17 Moi?

Speaker 38 Ugh, this brings back memories.

Speaker 43 It does?

Speaker 38 My mom used to play gigs at places like this all the time.

Speaker 49 A captive audience of tens and tens of people.

Speaker 3 The stone fox.

Speaker 28 When you're here, you hate your family.

Speaker 3 Not bad.

Speaker 38 I wonder what version of Leaf lived here.

Speaker 3 Barfly Leaf.

Speaker 38 Oh, I bet Barfly Leaf is messy.

Speaker 28 I don't see any sign of me at all. I'm going to see if I can get up on the roof.

Speaker 14 I'm going to walk around outside, see what I can see. Don't go far, Ava.
You're not my real mom.

Speaker 12 Casper, is there any sign of me in the kitchen? How did the spices look?

Speaker 50 Casper,

Speaker 17 What's up?

Speaker 29 Casper?

Speaker 3 There's a note on the grill.

Speaker 17 Read it.

Speaker 3 I need you to read it.

Speaker 42 Why?

Speaker 3 Because it's in my handwriting.

Speaker 42 Oh.

Speaker 12 Not sure who this note is for.

Speaker 12 With any luck, no one will ever walk in the front door again. If you're reading this and nothing weird has happened yet, leave now.

Speaker 12 If you have anything in your life that you value, leave now.

Speaker 3 Jesus.

Speaker 12 For a while, I convinced myself that there was a point to all this, that if I hung on long enough, I would understand why it's all happening.

Speaker 12 Now I realize that it was all just a waste of time, looking for meaning in everything.

Speaker 12 If it's too late for you, like it was for me, I hope she finds you.

Speaker 18 What

Speaker 12 she can do amazing things, things that seem impossible.

Speaker 12 She says she can get me where I need to go, and I've decided that I believe her.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry if you get this note too late, and if you do,

Speaker 12 hope she shows up.

Speaker 12 Her name is

Speaker 3 Clementine.

Speaker 12 Signed Casper.

Speaker 3 I took Clementine's deal.

Speaker 3 She reunited this Casper with David.

Speaker 33 Looks like it.

Speaker 7 So, how did this place end up here?

Speaker 12 I don't know.

Speaker 51 Hey, nothing on the roof.

Speaker 3 I don't know who was living here, but it wasn't me. It was me.
I left a note. Apparently, I took Clementine's deal.
No shit? Yeah.

Speaker 28 But how did this place end up here?

Speaker 3 Well, that's what I just said.

Speaker 35 Y'all, what is it, Ava?

Speaker 35 There it is again.

Speaker 44 What?

Speaker 23 We're standing at the massive door to this fortress. The door has the mark of the visitor again.

Speaker 7 I can't believe this is happening.

Speaker 35 It's happening.

Speaker 20 Do we.

Speaker 7 Do we think it's him, or

Speaker 7 is it some sort of cult that uses his image?

Speaker 23 You said it before back on the Malthusian trap.

Speaker 23 An entire galaxy of Earthlings, a network of stable wormholes, an army of followers with unmatched technology. It would take enormous power.

Speaker 8 Our father was powerful, but he wasn't that powerful.

Speaker 23 Was he not?

Speaker 23 I spent years masquerading as a historian who studied him. He had many names, but the visitor was the most apt.

Speaker 23 No one knew where he came from. Half of the DNA in our bodies has no origin point.
We have no idea who our father was.

Speaker 17 Well,

Speaker 35 let's go and see him. him.

Speaker 3 Let's get this shit over with.

Speaker 23 I want you two to know

Speaker 23 that I love you both

Speaker 23 very much.

Speaker 23 I was a solitary creature running an illegal body-forming lab in an asteroid belt.

Speaker 23 Labuza,

Speaker 23 you reached out and united the three of us.

Speaker 37 I'm

Speaker 23 very grateful for that.

Speaker 17 We

Speaker 22 love you too, Kazi.

Speaker 35 I'm actually still on the fence about both of you, so.

Speaker 35 I hope there's food at this little shindig.

Speaker 54 I'm starving.

Speaker 54 Welcome.

Speaker 3 What is this place?

Speaker 52 Look up there.

Speaker 16 It's a bingo hall.

Speaker 52 Welcome to the Knights of Halifax Bingo Hall.

Speaker 28 A time-traveling dimension spanning

Speaker 17 bingo hall.

Speaker 52 B-I-N-G-O.

Speaker 3 You know, a time-traveling dimension spanning diner didn't sound stupid until just now.

Speaker 12 What did you need us to see, Ava?

Speaker 52 I need leave to take a look at that wall over there.

Speaker 40 What?

Speaker 40 Oh.

Speaker 33 What is that?

Speaker 3 It looks like shadows. What are they?

Speaker 28 They're shadows.

Speaker 28 They're burned shadows.

Speaker 3 What's a burn shadow?

Speaker 28 When a target is hit by a very sudden thermal attack, it can leave their shadow burned into the wall.

Speaker 28 You see it in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. You see it at Vesuvius?

Speaker 52 Each shadow has a pile of ashes in front of it.

Speaker 12 They were killed here?

Speaker 44 Who were they?

Speaker 28 Four shadows,

Speaker 28 all hominid-shaped.

Speaker 52 It's us.

Speaker 12 This isn't how it looks when the mystery men kill someone.

Speaker 28 It wasn't them.

Speaker 3 Over in the Stone Fox, I left a note saying I took Clementine's deal.

Speaker 3 I guess this is what it looks like when we don't take the deal.

Speaker 54 Damn.

Speaker 3 She killed the shit out of us.

Speaker 12 This doesn't make any sense. When we met Clementine, she had never heard of us.

Speaker 52 That was the Clementine we met.

Speaker 28 Infinite timelines,

Speaker 3 infinite Clementines.

Speaker 12 Casper, do me a favor and never say infinite Clementines ever again.

Speaker 52 So the Casper and the Stone Fox takes Clementine's deal, and the stone fox ends up here.

Speaker 52 These four versions of us get fricasied by Clementine, and then this place winds up here.

Speaker 12 How did those two places wind up here in this garden?

Speaker 12 How did any of them?

Speaker 3 I don't know, but I don't think he's collecting them because he likes nice things.

Speaker 12 Okay, guys, that's enough sightseeing. Let's get the show on the road.
Okay,

Speaker 12 standing here in the Knights of Halifax bingo hall is your last possible opportunity to object to the plan.

Speaker 3 I mean, calling it a plan is a little much. A prayer, maybe.

Speaker 52 I think it sounds great.

Speaker 44 Okay,

Speaker 12 let's go.

Speaker 53 So, you guys don't want to play bingo?

Speaker 48 Okay, here's how I see it. One of the few advantages we have over these guys is they still think that you two are incapacitated.
So now, here you are inside my phone, and they are none the wiser.

Speaker 45 That's very shrewd of you, David. But what exactly will we be able to do with this advantage?

Speaker 11 This is my question as well, David. Gloria has laid out the plan as clear as day.
I'm not seeing an advantage to be pressed.

Speaker 48 See, the problem with you two is neither of you have ever made art illegally at night.

Speaker 45 That is true, but I don't know.

Speaker 48 Sometimes you need to leave the house without a plan. You fill up your backpack with paint cans and a thermos of cheap wine, and you just let the night take you where you want to go.

Speaker 11 David, Gloria's plan is very specific.

Speaker 48 It's gonna be great. Let's go.

Speaker 7 Is this place as enormous as it sounds?

Speaker 23 Yes, Labuza, it's massive.

Speaker 7 What what's in the middle of the room?

Speaker 23 A very long dining table.

Speaker 35 Looks like there's a place set for each of us.

Speaker 23 Then it happens here.

Speaker 57 My beautiful girls,

Speaker 24 Father.

Speaker 56 I've dreamed of this moment for eons, it seems.

Speaker 59 I left so many of my children behind in Andromeda.

Speaker 59 Such a shame to watch so many of them succumb to the vicissitudes of linear existence.

Speaker 58 I told myself again and again that the truly great ones will seek me out one day so that we may be reunited.

Speaker 58 I nearly lost faith,

Speaker 66 but now

Speaker 54 here we are.

Speaker 67 You three are the most exceptional of all my lineage,

Speaker 63 for you stand here in my dining hall,

Speaker 9 and we

Speaker 9 are reunited at last.

Speaker 55 Yeah,

Speaker 53 hold that thought, Dad, Tita.

Speaker 23 Tita, it's pointless.

Speaker 21 Yeah, one sec.

Speaker 66 May we move on?

Speaker 53 Not quite yet.

Speaker 56 Is that the final volley?

Speaker 19 One more.

Speaker 20 Tita.

Speaker 35 Just getting it out of my system.

Speaker 68 Would anyone care for a drink?

Speaker 35 All my cards are played.

Speaker 35 How's the beer in this place?

Speaker 69 Right away, darling.

Speaker 62 If I've analyzed your dynamic correctly,

Speaker 70 Libuza will listen intently,

Speaker 62 Kazzi, you will question unflinchingly, and Tita will wait for an opportunity to kill something.

Speaker 19 That's about right.

Speaker 69 Very well.

Speaker 47 Kazzy,

Speaker 70 shall we begin?

Speaker 23 The reports of your death are greatly exaggerated.

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 62 I imagine by this late hour that you deduced certain things regarding my origin.

Speaker 56 I am not, as previously thought, an enigmatic conqueror.

Speaker 17 Or at least, that is not all I am.

Speaker 17 What I am

Speaker 17 is far more complex,

Speaker 17 but also

Speaker 65 much simpler.

Speaker 43 There was

Speaker 17 a time

Speaker 34 before time,

Speaker 31 a time

Speaker 57 before space,

Speaker 34 before gravity,

Speaker 71 before

Speaker 72 all of it.

Speaker 63 And it was in this time that I was

Speaker 74 for lack of a better word

Speaker 17 born.

Speaker 47 Then

Speaker 75 suddenly

Speaker 31 all things moved from a realm of pure existence to

Speaker 6 well

Speaker 74 All of this you see around you.

Speaker 62 I stood and watched as the universe took shape.

Speaker 15 I bore witness as particles gained mass and exploded.

Speaker 27 I watched the universe decide what to be and then become it.

Speaker 47 All of it was quite a surprise.

Speaker 74 At first it was all heat and chaos, then a haze of gases.

Speaker 66 And then,

Speaker 17 one by one,

Speaker 17 the stars emerged.

Speaker 57 Pinpricks in the curtain of night.

Speaker 63 All of it suddenly looking back at me.

Speaker 66 Then

Speaker 78 came a great dance

Speaker 75 as gravity began its processional.

Speaker 70 The stars moved towards each other, coalesced into galaxies.

Speaker 66 Then

Speaker 70 the oldest of the stars turned into dark knots in the sky.

Speaker 67 Endless vortices consuming all.

Speaker 54 A stunning mural.

Speaker 72 All of it.

Speaker 7 Can we skip to the part where you began torturing an entire galaxy of manufactured earthlings?

Speaker 59 None of you has inherited my love of poetry, I see.

Speaker 23 I agree with Labuza, Father. We haven't come for poetry.

Speaker 69 Very well.

Speaker 70 Where would you like me to start?

Speaker 23 What about your time in the Triad? You conquered several planets, created a paradise for a time. Was that all a fit of play acting from you? Were you just bored?

Speaker 61 Not in the least, dear.

Speaker 59 It was yet another one of my plans.

Speaker 67 Sadly,

Speaker 33 a failed one.

Speaker 23 It was a thriving empire. You really see it as a failure?

Speaker 77 A thriving empire was simply a healthy by-product.

Speaker 62 It was never my true goal all those years ago.

Speaker 50 What was your true goal?

Speaker 54 All of you, of course.

Speaker 65 My children.

Speaker 61 They weren't calling me Croc the Propagator for nothing, dear.

Speaker 19 We were your goal?

Speaker 33 Yes.

Speaker 77 And you turned out brilliantly.

Speaker 59 In the end, I found that though spreading my genetic code throughout the universe was a solution to my problem,

Speaker 34 it simply was not a scalable solution.

Speaker 31 So I felt it was time to move on.

Speaker 54 But all of you

Speaker 54 really

Speaker 79 such a beautiful mistake.

Speaker 23 Back home, they see you as a legendary liberator. When in fact you were just trying to spread your seed throughout the cosmos.

Speaker 7 That's disgusting.

Speaker 35 Motherfucker setting up franchises.

Speaker 79 From this point on, please try and remember that though my tactics may seem dark, I have always had one bright goal through it all.

Speaker 66 For the lion's share of my existence, I have had one aim alone.

Speaker 59 Preservation.

Speaker 62 As the universe sought to define itself I found that as a being who existed before the universe I was not bound by the new laws it had made for itself

Speaker 31 Time

Speaker 56 the destroyer of all could not lay a hand on me Space was mutable.

Speaker 59 I could in one moment have the lightness of a feather

Speaker 62 and then in the next

Speaker 56 pull stars into my orbit

Speaker 81 because I was sat outside the ebb and flow of the universe,

Speaker 65 I could see it in ways you could not imagine.

Speaker 6 At the beginning of the universe, I could glimpse something I had never before seen.

Speaker 6 An ending.

Speaker 63 This luminous universe that had just been born before me had only one path:

Speaker 63 entropy,

Speaker 47 darkness,

Speaker 54 Death.

Speaker 54 Nothingness.

Speaker 77 Throughout the universe, these things are seen as inevitable.

Speaker 63 All good things come to an end, as the Earthlings say.

Speaker 59 They are not inevitable to me.

Speaker 66 I had come to love the universe.

Speaker 36 And that which we love...

Speaker 75 must be protected.

Speaker 23 You're trying to save the universe. That I am, dear.

Speaker 26 But that

Speaker 67 is no small task, even for one such as myself.

Speaker 56 And that was compounded even further by my next discovery.

Speaker 67 That there is not one universe, but many.

Speaker 77 I then learned to travel through this great multiverse.

Speaker 3 Surely, out there somewhere, there was a universe that had learned how to circumvent its own ending.

Speaker 54 But alas,

Speaker 54 no.

Speaker 72 Despite the infinite nature of existence, it all travels towards an end.

Speaker 82 It left me with no choice but to seek out a new way for any universe to exist.

Speaker 56 A universe of balance, of calm.

Speaker 41 A universe that is not so enamored with its own ending

Speaker 79 I swore to use every ounce of my power to make it so

Speaker 79 but

Speaker 79 I would need allies

Speaker 67 who would aid me in this fight

Speaker 54 and then

Speaker 67 just as the stars came to life in the universe's beginning

Speaker 47 There was a new light coming into being

Speaker 70 bright spots in the darkness again.

Speaker 70 Minds.

Speaker 66 Sentient minds like my own began to emerge in the universe.

Speaker 71 Primitive, to be sure, but like myself, they could see the universe as I did.

Speaker 76 They could perceive its beginning and its end,

Speaker 63 contemplate it, dread it.

Speaker 63 I would make them my allies,

Speaker 73 and together

Speaker 54 we would make the world

Speaker 23 You really see all those enslaved people as your partners?

Speaker 81 I had already attended partnership dear

Speaker 63 All those years ago in your galaxy I was croc the propagator conqueror for the downtrodden With might and with wisdom, I would create a paradise in which we all could live.

Speaker 23 That's exactly what you did.

Speaker 17 And what happened?

Speaker 70 Where is that paradise now?

Speaker 82 It was rejected by them.

Speaker 63 No sentient mind will sit when the work is all done.

Speaker 77 Given a paradise for long enough, any sentient mind will turn it into a prison.

Speaker 63 There is something in them that rejects satisfaction.

Speaker 47 A new way must be found.

Speaker 77 And I found that new way forward in the unlikeliest of places.

Speaker 38 Was it up your butt?

Speaker 17 Ah,

Speaker 17 as if on cue.

Speaker 17 Welcome, all.

Speaker 67 Please make yourselves comfortable.

Speaker 8 Dinner will be served shortly.

Speaker 12 How are you doing?

Speaker 23 Would you like an update?

Speaker 12 We've been listening.

Speaker 54 Tita, your aperitif has arrived.

Speaker 38 Oh, look at this.

Speaker 14 Beverage service.

Speaker 38 Keep the glass, Jeeves.

Speaker 35 So, they're not just your soldiers, they're your little man-servants as well.

Speaker 70 Everyone plays their part in our mission, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

Speaker 27 Please, everyone,

Speaker 12 sit. I think we'll stand for the time being.

Speaker 67 I see.

Speaker 77 Too early yet for pleasantries.

Speaker 12 You're holding three children hostage. We'd like them released, please.

Speaker 67 In due time, they shall be.

Speaker 31 We've much to discuss.

Speaker 12 We are not your dinner guests.

Speaker 66 You are not.

Speaker 26 You

Speaker 62 are my prisoners.

Speaker 31 Shall I treat you as prisoners

Speaker 83 or my guests?

Speaker 17 Fine.

Speaker 12 Have a seat, everyone.

Speaker 83 Wonderful.

Speaker 79 Let me begin this evening by expressing my deepest respect for you all.

Speaker 28 You've been trying to kill us for weeks.

Speaker 8 Precisely.

Speaker 31 And here you all sit.

Speaker 57 It's quite an accomplishment.

Speaker 59 Becoming a worthy adversary of mine is no small feat.

Speaker 31 You have all been quite confounding at every turn.

Speaker 63 Had I not discerned how to silence that strange presence that lives inside that wooden box of yours, I may still be chasing you through the galaxy.

Speaker 63 But

Speaker 84 here we all are.

Speaker 31 And we can finally put all of this to rest.

Speaker 17 Won't that be lovely?

Speaker 70 Let us pick up right where we left off.

Speaker 31 Before you arrived, I was explaining to my daughters how all of this came to be.

Speaker 67 This strange empire of mine.

Speaker 62 As you all know, I was once a man they called Crock the Propagator.

Speaker 62 I was a conqueror of legend, a benevolent king, a husband,

Speaker 83 a father.

Speaker 47 And

Speaker 50 due to a series of unforeseen complications,

Speaker 83 my empire came tumbling down.

Speaker 41 Because you abandoned it.

Speaker 73 Because

Speaker 71 it had failed.

Speaker 13 I was quite distraught.

Speaker 63 As you all know, I have been searching for a way to save this universe and others like it.

Speaker 50 A way to bend time's arrow into a circle.

Speaker 36 Balance in all things.

Speaker 36 And

Speaker 62 as I left my empire to crumble and left my daughters and their siblings behind,

Speaker 62 I began to wander the cosmos.

Speaker 71 I had such power, and yet I found myself powerless to bend the sentient mind.

Speaker 80 It was somehow not enough to provide paradise.

Speaker 70 There was a missing element to my plans, and it confounded me.

Speaker 47 So,

Speaker 17 I wondered.

Speaker 50 And where did my wandering take me?

Speaker 56 Would anyone like a guess?

Speaker 24 Earth.

Speaker 24 Correct, Doctor.

Speaker 72 There.

Speaker 67 I found myself on Earth.

Speaker 69 Just a shrub of a planet, really.

Speaker 31 Not much to it.

Speaker 59 The dominant species was short-lived and quite barbaric.

Speaker 77 No real accomplishments to speak of.

Speaker 77 But

Speaker 77 one day,

Speaker 62 I found myself in a ruined city.

Speaker 62 One of your little wars had broken out and an ancient city had been obliterated.

Speaker 62 Citizens were gathering up what was left of their lives and running for the borders before another volley of fire came down from the sky.

Speaker 54 In those abandoned streets,

Speaker 75 I began to hear a voice.

Speaker 79 I followed the sound to one of those ruined buildings and I stepped inside.

Speaker 79 It was a theater.

Speaker 8 Three people sat in the seats.

Speaker 67 One man stood on stage, a text in his hand.

Speaker 74 He read to the others,

Speaker 66 telling them a story.

Speaker 63 Death could have come at any moment, but rather than run,

Speaker 54 there they all sat.

Speaker 59 I was astounded by it.

Speaker 6 They should be running for their lives, but instead, they took refuge in a story that they shared together.

Speaker 79 I'd never seen anything quite like it.

Speaker 59 Their reality was grim, their lives in danger.

Speaker 76 The best they could do was flee the city with all the others.

Speaker 54 But there

Speaker 6 they sat.

Speaker 64 They would abandon their reality for a story they could share together.

Speaker 80 You see,

Speaker 50 every race has its crowning achievement.

Speaker 76 On Titus' planet, they are all warriors, the most fearsome you'd ever face.

Speaker 50 On Libuza's planet they learned to listen to the cosmos itself.

Speaker 62 Kazi's race has learned the art of wondrous and terrifying transformation.

Speaker 6 And for the Earthlings,

Speaker 64 the stories you tell.

Speaker 31 An earthling will abandon all facts, all figures,

Speaker 27 all safety for the sake of a well-wrought story.

Speaker 15 Stories of heroes and villains and beasts and unrequited love.

Speaker 56 It's truly fantastic stuff.

Speaker 79 And I have never encountered a race so adept at staving off reality as you all are.

Speaker 81 The terrible men you deify, the ugliness you beatify, the murders you transform into poetry.

Speaker 81 It's astounding.

Speaker 76 And it is with this aspect

Speaker 50 I thought to myself

Speaker 56 that I shall finally save the universe.

Speaker 3 Just chiming in here as the resident idiot, but I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Speaker 76 Oh, but you absolutely do, Casper.

Speaker 17 Oh, I do, huh?

Speaker 72 Of course.

Speaker 76 Look at the story you tell yourself.

Speaker 50 Over a century ago, you were, due to no fault of your own, abducted by a mysterious construct from beyond space and time.

Speaker 15 And over the ensuing decades, said to yourself that if you hold on long enough this random and unfortunate happening will somehow reunite you with the son that you had lost it did reunite me with the son i have lost caspo

Speaker 71 that boy is not your son

Speaker 71 you met him for the first time just a few short months ago

Speaker 71 But what is the story you've been telling yourself?

Speaker 56 Don't feel alone in your delusion.

Speaker 64 Look to your dear leader.

Speaker 57 Gloria had her life meticulously stripped away from her one layer at a time.

Speaker 34 Her parents, gone.

Speaker 27 Her lovely little restaurant, gone.

Speaker 67 But she shall climb aboard a mysterious vessel and begin to tell herself a story of freedom fighters and justice.

Speaker 31 What of the pirate?

Speaker 80 Leif will insist that he hates his homeworld and prattle on about how they've disappointed him one too many times.

Speaker 57 That's true, is it?

Speaker 59 Let's see what we can pluck out of the ether, shall we?

Speaker 85 I know Earth is a backwater caveman convention, but as it turns out, I was one of the smartest guys living there. So smart that I invented something that would change everything.

Speaker 62 At the bottom of an abandoned gold mine, I performed a miracle.

Speaker 85 I pulled energy out of nothing.

Speaker 28 Like a magic trick.

Speaker 3 A thirty million dollar magic trick.

Speaker 85 The first time my team saw all the lights come up on the energy register, they all cheered, lost their minds.

Speaker 85 We had just changed the world.

Speaker 85 In that moment of monumental change, all I remember is fear.

Speaker 85 It was terrifying for me because I suddenly realized,

Speaker 15 oh no,

Speaker 85 I'm going to have to be the unlimited energy guy for the rest of my life.

Speaker 85 I would have to make speeches and inspire people and have books written about me.

Speaker 85 What if I didn't want to be that guy?

Speaker 85 What if I just wanted to make something cool and then move on?

Speaker 63 You're not disappointed in Earth, Leaf.

Speaker 56 You're disappointed in yourself for being young and stupid.

Speaker 31 And then

Speaker 70 there's the Doctor.

Speaker 66 The one above it all.

Speaker 41 The one who sees existence as simply fermions and bosons.

Speaker 31 But rest assured that none of you feel things more deeply than this one.

Speaker 67 None of you strive more fervently for meaning than the one of you who insists that there is no meaning

Speaker 17 at all.

Speaker 62 Do you not see the power of the stories you tell yourselves?

Speaker 64 Do you not see how thoroughly you rebuke the reality that presses down upon you?

Speaker 27 Do you not see how powerful it is?

Speaker 80 It is perhaps the most powerful force in any universe.

Speaker 56 I shall do great things with the earthlings that I have made.

Speaker 64 Together, we shall rebuke the reality we have been given

Speaker 65 and make the universe anew.

Speaker 12 Now, who's telling themselves a story?

Speaker 17 Yes,

Speaker 17 perhaps I am.

Speaker 77 But I believe in the power of my story.

Speaker 32 Do you

Speaker 8 drinks before dinner, then?

Speaker 48 Looks like an old arcade.

Speaker 54 The warp zone.

Speaker 43 Kind of appropriate.

Speaker 45 What goes on in a place like this?

Speaker 48 Just another stop in the long progression of places a human being hangs out. When you're a kid, it's places like this, an arcade with a shitty drink machine.

Speaker 48 Then you get older and move on to bars and coffee shops. I mean, I imagine, anyway.
There weren't a lot of places like this left when I was a kid, but I bet Casper hung out in them all the time.

Speaker 48 Looks like there's no power. So you can't tell, but each one of these big things would light up and there would be a different game you could play.

Speaker 45 I'm sure all sorts of evil plans were hatched here by the youth of the world.

Speaker 48 Well, you have to hatch your evil plans somewhere.

Speaker 3 Where was it for y'all?

Speaker 11 We had no evil plans to hatch when we were young, David. We were very well-behaved children.

Speaker 17 Uh-huh.

Speaker 43 But where was it?

Speaker 17 Come on.

Speaker 48 School lets out, and everybody goes somewhere out of the prying eyes of adults.

Speaker 48 Well,

Speaker 45 I suppose that was Dan Gentry's old cabin. Yes.

Speaker 45 Well,

Speaker 11 I suppose that's true. Dan Gentry had his land bought by the state so they could build a state road through it, took the money he made, and scooted off to New Orleans, never heard from again.

Speaker 11 His cabin was in disrepair and fell in a storm, but the fireplace still stood in two of the walls. We'd end up there from time to time.

Speaker 45 Young boys had a tendency to settle their grievances there, hopefully with a rock-skipping contest and not with fisticuffs.

Speaker 46 Dear, you hid your slingshot there.

Speaker 11 Why, yes, that is true. I had a slingshot that my mother did not approve of, so I kept it there amongst the rubble.

Speaker 48 All these buildings, they're all public places.

Speaker 45 How do you mean, David?

Speaker 48 A diner, a movie theater, an arcade. It's never just somebody's house or something.

Speaker 3 It's always a place people go to.

Speaker 45 Yes, that's true, isn't it?

Speaker 45 I do find that to be deliberate.

Speaker 9 Why?

Speaker 11 One can go their whole life without knowing their neighbor. If, in the morning, one turns one way and the neighbor turns the other, they may as well be one hundred miles apart.

Speaker 45 Something special about a crossroads. Something sacred about those places where lives intersect.

Speaker 45 Much harder to make a man your enemy when you share the same space.

Speaker 48 How come we haven't seen any churches?

Speaker 11 That is a bit odd, isn't it?

Speaker 11 Then again, for a diner, you need a kitchen. You can make a church out of any old thing.

Speaker 45 Many a fine sermon cometh from the corner of one's kitchen table, David.

Speaker 48 Ooh, one of the games is still working.

Speaker 43 Come again.

Speaker 48 The arcade games are all all off except for that one.

Speaker 45 Hmm. Let's have a look at it.

Speaker 3 Prize cube.

Speaker 57 It's a claw game.

Speaker 11 What's that mean?

Speaker 43 See that claw?

Speaker 48 You put a quarter in and you move the claw over one of the prizes down there and you try to grab it.

Speaker 45 Sounds enjoyable.

Speaker 11 What do we think keeps the lights on for this one?

Speaker 48 I don't know.

Speaker 46 Well,

Speaker 45 does anyone have a quarter?

Speaker 11 I don't. We've got a piggy bank up on the shelf, but there's scarce ways of us getting it to you.

Speaker 48 Forgive me my sins, but I don't need a quarter.

Speaker 11 Do tell.

Speaker 48 Sometimes things like this, they don't need a quarter, they just need to think you gave them a quarter.

Speaker 46 How do you intend to deceive this machine, David?

Speaker 44 By kicking it.

Speaker 9 Very hard.

Speaker 11 I appreciate the directness.

Speaker 46 Give it a whooping.

Speaker 28 Here we go.

Speaker 3 Beautiful.

Speaker 48 I can now move the claw.

Speaker 45 David, if you wouldn't mind, I've got my eye on that pink sheep right over in the corner.

Speaker 9 Pink sheep.

Speaker 78 Let's do it. Here we go.

Speaker 78 Okay,

Speaker 48 I am now perfectly positioned over the sheep.

Speaker 17 Pressing the button.

Speaker 17 Hmm.

Speaker 48 Should I ask for my money back?

Speaker 45 Y'all, is there something a bit peculiar about that claw?

Speaker 11 How do you mean, dear?

Speaker 11 David,

Speaker 11 is that you moving that claw around?

Speaker 48 I'm not touching it.

Speaker 45 I would say it's less like a claw and more of

Speaker 9 an arm.

Speaker 41 David, step back. What the hell is it?

Speaker 41 Yes, dear, confirmed. That is an arm.

Speaker 86 But it appears to be made of scrap metal and whatnots.

Speaker 15 Is the arm looking at us?

Speaker 11 How does an arm look?

Speaker 43 Are we supposed to follow the arm?

Speaker 19 I suppose.

Speaker 46 Perhaps it would be rude not to.

Speaker 43 Let's go.

Speaker 11 That way. Mind how you move, David.
We're not welcome in this place.

Speaker 85 Which way did it go?

Speaker 45 It is a squirrely little thing, ain't it?

Speaker 3 There it is. Dear, have we not seen an appendage such as this before?

Speaker 11 Have we?

Speaker 11 I seem to recall even older ladies.

Speaker 48 What are you talking about?

Speaker 46 For a time, we kept company with another one of what appears to be a myriad leaves.

Speaker 45 Only this one was much older, and he'd been through quite a life.

Speaker 11 He had himself a left arm that wasn't nothing but metallic parts.

Speaker 45 I hear tell he could unhook it from itself, and it had a mind of its own.

Speaker 48 There's some older version of leaf around here somewhere.

Speaker 11 Well, if there is,

Speaker 11 he's down one arm.

Speaker 9 What in the world is it doing?

Speaker 48 It's knocking on the wall, and

Speaker 48 does it need our help?

Speaker 45 It would appear to help with what exactly? Not sure, but it does appear urgent.

Speaker 78 It keeps knocking on the wall.

Speaker 11 That ain't no wall. That's a door.

Speaker 48 How do you know?

Speaker 11 Because it's given me that I to wall feeling.

Speaker 48 That's not a real feeling.

Speaker 45 I suppose it needs our assistance.

Speaker 48 Okay, give it some assistance.

Speaker 45 Not sure how we do that, David.

Speaker 48 Don't you guys just pray and then things happen?

Speaker 45 Well, I would argue that's an oversimplification of the role that prayer should play in one's life.

Speaker 11 Oh, dear, who are we, kidding? Of course, that's what happens.

Speaker 81 Well, then, whip your Bible out.

Speaker 48 Make something happen.

Speaker 11 Give me your hand, dear.

Speaker 11 Lord,

Speaker 11 we beseech you, standing outside this door, pretending to be a wall. And we ask that you aid us in returning this lonesome appendage to its rightful owner.

Speaker 45 Your love, oh Lord, joins us to each other.

Speaker 46 Let it now join this wayward arm to its shoulder.

Speaker 26 Look at that.

Speaker 3 There it goes.

Speaker 48 What do you think? Should we follow it?

Speaker 48 Guys?

Speaker 47 Muckle Waynes?

Speaker 6 Shit. Where did you go?

Speaker 26 Great.

Speaker 48 I guess I'm following the arm.

Speaker 75 Dinner is served.

Speaker 67 In honor of your presence, I've made chicken.

Speaker 17 Chicken? Yes.

Speaker 56 You're fond of chickens on your planet, are you not? It's a veritable chicken holocaust back on Earth.

Speaker 8 What would be more fitting?

Speaker 34 Please, enjoy.

Speaker 19 So,

Speaker 38 how does this work exactly?

Speaker 8 Can you be more specific, Doctor?

Speaker 38 To bend time's arrow into a circle. That's what you said.

Speaker 17 Correct.

Speaker 38 You want to fundamentally change how the universe works.

Speaker 47 I do.

Speaker 38 And so you've set up this galactic petri dish, trying to find the perfect way to do that.

Speaker 22 Yes. By controlling the minds of humans.

Speaker 42 Ah.

Speaker 62 I thought I'd encounter your particular brand of cosmological fatalism, Doctor.

Speaker 63 You, of course, believe that the universe is an uncaring tide of particles carrying us along.

Speaker 41 You believe that the universe is...

Speaker 8 how did you put it?

Speaker 40 How it works is this.

Speaker 40 People like to say that the universe is a harsh and uncaring place, but for the universe to not care about you is to assume that it ever considered you in the first place.

Speaker 35 The universe

Speaker 22 doesn't notice you.

Speaker 14 It has never considered you.

Speaker 35 You are not on its mind.

Speaker 40 You are just a particular configuration of dust.

Speaker 39 You are a rounding error.

Speaker 38 You are the least of the universe.

Speaker 57 You believe the universe would carry on without us, were we not here?

Speaker 63 That the universe careens towards an end whether we observe it or not.

Speaker 37 Yes.

Speaker 17 You

Speaker 36 are incorrect, Doctor.

Speaker 41 The mind of the observer is essential to the life of the universe.

Speaker 54 You've seen this yourself on your planet in your dalliances with quantum physics.

Speaker 15 The universe behaves as a very different thing when it's being observed, does it not?

Speaker 63 An observing mind guides a universe, shapes it.

Speaker 77 If one controls the observing mind,

Speaker 54 they control the universe.

Speaker 38 You cannot control the universe just by thinking about it.

Speaker 17 Not alone, no.

Speaker 83 Not even I can do that.

Speaker 15 But a galaxy of minds thinking in unison.

Speaker 17 That

Speaker 58 is something else entirely.

Speaker 71 Two galaxies?

Speaker 64 Three.

Speaker 83 A million.

Speaker 66 Then things begin to change.

Speaker 54 Then

Speaker 56 you begin to shape it to your will.

Speaker 67 Even if that were true, it's an impossible task.

Speaker 63 For one so short-lived as yourself,

Speaker 69 of course it is.

Speaker 41 But I have billions of years to enact my plan.

Speaker 28 And there's only one thing standing in your way.

Speaker 67 There are many things standing in my way, Leif.

Speaker 41 You just saw them on display in my garden.

Speaker 74 Curious little constructs flying through the multiverse like antibodies, all in ridiculous forms.

Speaker 79 Diners, bars, cafes, adorable little bookshops.

Speaker 67 They are ridiculous, and they confounded my work.

Speaker 58 They needed to be stopped.

Speaker 61 But I was a very busy man.

Speaker 77 I had not the patience to seek them out myself.

Speaker 62 So I made a weapon.

Speaker 28 Your weapon didn't work.

Speaker 3 We escaped Pasadena.

Speaker 31 Not that weapon, Leif.

Speaker 70 The first weapon.

Speaker 74 I'm sure we all remember this song of the summer.

Speaker 88 Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river that sweeps me along, but I am...

Speaker 88 It is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger. It is a fire which consumes me, but I...

Speaker 62 I am the fire.

Speaker 59 Clementine was incredibly efficient.

Speaker 50 She felt inexorably drawn to constructs such as yours.

Speaker 67 And when she found them, she offered a simple choice to those within.

Speaker 76 She would give you your heart's desire, or she would give you oblivion.

Speaker 61 And in universe after universe it worked.

Speaker 66 These constructs were abandoned one way or the other.

Speaker 62 And when they were abandoned, that's when I could remove them from the board.

Speaker 3 The diner doesn't work when nobody's inside it.

Speaker 75 Correct.

Speaker 62 When they are abandoned, they sleep.

Speaker 69 for eons sometimes until they are discovered again.

Speaker 48 And when they sleep I can bring them here where they will never be discovered

Speaker 59 the process was very efficient Clementine was my hunting dog and I the hunter

Speaker 66 but then

Speaker 28 then we defeated Clementine

Speaker 69 that's correct Leif

Speaker 79 In universe after universe, Clementine was successful until she met you all

Speaker 83 and then

Speaker 70 after she was defeated by you,

Speaker 81 it was as if the spell had been broken.

Speaker 76 She was defeated time and time again, as if all these disparate constructs were learning from each other.

Speaker 3 There is something different about that diner of yours.

Speaker 70 I'm not sure what, but it's no matter, because now I have it.

Speaker 58 It shall sleep here forever, and I may continue my work.

Speaker 12 And what happens to us?

Speaker 41 You shall remain here as well.

Speaker 43 You shall be my guests here on my planet for the remainder of your days.

Speaker 75 Please don't see it as a prison.

Speaker 50 I shall provide you with everything you desire.

Speaker 74 Kazi, Libuza, Tita, you may all be released.

Speaker 59 I shall return you to your ship and you may go with my blessing.

Speaker 3 Why not just let us go with them?

Speaker 8 An abundance of caution.

Speaker 67 The good doctor does excel at finding these constructs in the wilds of the universe.

Speaker 61 I can't have you released only to trouble me again.

Speaker 41 My daughters may leave because I love them

Speaker 59 and also because I find the work they do to be irrelevant.

Speaker 59 Ah,

Speaker 63 the second course has arrived.

Speaker 31 Another homage to her earthling friends.

Speaker 31 Hot pockets.

Speaker 12 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 19 I can't believe he finally caught it. I thought it'd be bigger or more frightening.
It doesn't look like much at all.

Speaker 89 You there?

Speaker 33 What's our current assignment?

Speaker 19 Ah, yes.

Speaker 19 Hello there.

Speaker 19 Just looking for a

Speaker 19 mop.

Speaker 19 I was told to clean the floors. A mop? Why not have one of the droids do it?

Speaker 69 Yes.

Speaker 19 Well, you see, there is

Speaker 19 a certain value in doing a thing with one's own two hands.

Speaker 49 Or, so I'm told.

Speaker 19 Can't take pride in your work if something's doing it for you.

Speaker 19 Did we even have a mob? I've never seen one.

Speaker 19 Check down in Article Confinement.

Speaker 89 We may have taken one from one of the constructs.

Speaker 19 Yes, we'll do.

Speaker 19 Thank you for your assistance.

Speaker 47 Weird. Must be in the processing regimen.

Speaker 47 Dear?

Speaker 19 Are you there, dear?

Speaker 19 I seem to have stumbled backwards into the rainments worn by our captors.

Speaker 82 Dear?

Speaker 82 No, am I.

Speaker 17 Good afternoon to you.

Speaker 55 Just a hunt for a mop.

Speaker 19 Perhaps you've seen one.

Speaker 30 Zebulon, what in the world are you doing in there?

Speaker 19 I should ask you the same.

Speaker 30 We open the door. Next thing I know, I'm in one of these get-ups.

Speaker 19 The same for me.

Speaker 30 Have you seen David?

Speaker 49 No, dear. I've been wandering up and down the halls.

Speaker 19 A mop, Zebulon? Yes. I engaged them in a bit of deception.
Telling them I needed a mop.

Speaker 33 I believe it is working.

Speaker 30 Zebulon, any minute one of them is going to notice that there ain't no one inside these garments but our disembodied voices.

Speaker 19 Yes, dear, it's an imperiled position to be in, no doubt. Though the Lord has never put us in a place we didn't need to be.

Speaker 47 Sebulon,

Speaker 30 I am increasingly frustrated by the vagaries of our Lord and Savior.

Speaker 19 A bit of directness would be appreciated.

Speaker 33 Indeed.

Speaker 55 The burning bush, perhaps?

Speaker 3 Spoke to Moses right out of dirt clouds.

Speaker 19 But we are, of course,

Speaker 19 grateful for his movements.

Speaker 19 Yes, of course.

Speaker 19 Gratitude.

Speaker 19 What are we to do now?

Speaker 19 Well, I say, first thing is, we find ourselves a mop.

Speaker 9 Shh.

Speaker 19 Hold up.

Speaker 19 Do you hear that, dear?

Speaker 19 I'm afraid not, dear.

Speaker 30 Come on this way. I'm getting a strange feeling.

Speaker 33 Lead the way.

Speaker 78 What are we doing here, Robot Arm?

Speaker 48 Make a move. I'm in a hostile environment.

Speaker 9 What?

Speaker 3 What is it?

Speaker 66 Uh, you want me to open this door?

Speaker 48 Okay, be honest, Robot Arm. Is this going to kill me?

Speaker 81 That's not a definitive answer.

Speaker 19 fuck it

Speaker 48 hello am i supposed to follow you

Speaker 48 hello

Speaker 48 Thanks for the hand, David.

Speaker 3 Holy shit.

Speaker 56 Mike and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

Speaker 90 When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

Speaker 90 When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Speaker 17 Oh, come on.

Speaker 90 They called it truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip. Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.
Whatever.

Speaker 3 You were made to outdo your holidays.

Speaker 90 We were made to help organize the competition. Expedia, made to travel.

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Speaker 19 Dear?

Speaker 89 Yes, dear.

Speaker 30 Your whistling is not making us appear as nonchalant as you may think.

Speaker 19 Is it not?

Speaker 48 No, dear.

Speaker 31 Nothing to fear from a man who's whistling, I say.

Speaker 19 Hush up.

Speaker 9 Why the hushing, dear?

Speaker 30 A couple of ne'er-do-wells around the corner.

Speaker 19 They look like they're guarding something.

Speaker 33 What shall we do about it?

Speaker 30 I'm gonna loiter my way up to them and act like I own the place.

Speaker 17 Very well.

Speaker 30 Follow my lead, husband.

Speaker 30 How do, do, gents?

Speaker 30 We're here to relieve you of your duties.

Speaker 19 Already?

Speaker 30 We just got started.

Speaker 11 Ain't that the way?

Speaker 30 Bit of a change in the old duty roster. Looks like you made out well.
Your shift just got a might bit shorter.

Speaker 19 Small blessing, I say.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 89 Well, I'm not going to argue. Let's go, Josie.
Sounds good to me.

Speaker 51 Anything we need to know? Need to know?

Speaker 19 You stand here and get bored until someone comes to relieve you, you know, like it always is. Very good then.
Nice to be blessed with work.

Speaker 49 Fured.

Speaker 60 Food balance.

Speaker 11 Yes, indeed, y'all.

Speaker 30 All sorts of love for that balance.

Speaker 30 Well,

Speaker 47 ain't that a thing?

Speaker 19 It's as my father always said. The right set of clothes at the right time to get you in all sorts of doors.

Speaker 30 Let's have a look at what they're keeping safe.

Speaker 19 Spears!

Speaker 30 Looks like a crystal ball farm in here.

Speaker 19 Not sure what all these luminous globes could be about, dear, but they were under guard.

Speaker 24 All right now, Lord.

Speaker 30 You brought me here, and time is of the essence. You want to give me some sort of a sign?

Speaker 30 Shit, I don't even know why I even ask anymore.

Speaker 47 I'm taking the club, Lord.

Speaker 30 Let's find Davids at Milan.

Speaker 19 Am I to take one as well, dear?

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 9 All right then.

Speaker 9 Hey!

Speaker 17 Hey, what?

Speaker 17 What is happening? Who?

Speaker 17 You're me! Yeah!

Speaker 17 What?

Speaker 17 Ugh.

Speaker 48 First time?

Speaker 43 What do you mean? You haven't met yourself yet? No. Damn.
How long have you been doing this?

Speaker 78 I don't know.

Speaker 19 A few weeks? Oh, damn.

Speaker 48 And you ended up here?

Speaker 47 Yeah. Sorry about that.
I gotta have a lot more fun before I hit the dark shit.

Speaker 48 How did you get here? Okay, we can do the catching up to speed thing while we're escaping.

Speaker 17 Fine.

Speaker 48 We had a good group for a while Dane and Deb were a married couple who ran the place Vincent was an appliance repair guy he kept all the video games running then there was Jean-Luc Jean-Luc Gabot

Speaker 48 he was crazy he was this Quebecois separatist really good at blowing shit up came in handy sometimes but that was his solution to everything you know fucked him I make bomb. What happened to them?

Speaker 48 Clementine.

Speaker 48 We were on the trail of this.

Speaker 48 I still don't know how to describe her. She could do anything, and she really hated that we kept tracking her down.
Eventually, she made us all a deal.

Speaker 41 She could give us whatever we wanted as long as we left.

Speaker 48 Dane and Deb were ready to pack it in. They got an alpaca farm.

Speaker 48 Vincent wanted to go back to something called the Taiwan Miracle, and Jean-Luc finally got to see his dream of a free and independent Quebec. Why didn't you take a deal? You're me.

Speaker 19 Would you?

Speaker 55 No.

Speaker 48 Besides, dad had already told me all about her. I knew what she was about.
I mean, her story was different from the story dad told me, but it was the same vibe.

Speaker 48 It was down to just me, and we just talked and talked and talked, and eventually she gave up on me.

Speaker 17 Then these guys showed up again.

Speaker 47 Again.

Speaker 48 You've been here before?

Speaker 51 Part of the gig.

Speaker 48 Nothing ever repeats, but it does look pretty damn familiar. I'm so confused.
I know. Okay, if you got on board the diner, how did you end up in an arcade?

Speaker 19 David?

Speaker 13 Effie?

Speaker 19 David?

Speaker 43 Zebulon? What?

Speaker 19 On God's green earth.

Speaker 48 What the hell is this? It's the Mucklewains.

Speaker 17 The who?

Speaker 68 The Mucklewains.

Speaker 48 What are you talking about? You didn't meet the Mucklewains? Okay, so when I say I don't know what you're talking about, okay, there's a radio on the counter. There are two people inside it.

Speaker 48 They can inhabit different things.

Speaker 30 Nope. Well, here's a conversation that doesn't need to happen immediately.

Speaker 48 Effie, why do you have a glowing sphere?

Speaker 19 We are not clear on that one, David.

Speaker 28 Whatever.

Speaker 48 Explain later. Let's go.

Speaker 3 I can't fucking take this anymore.

Speaker 12 Stick with the plan. So tell me, Dad,

Speaker 14 what's this going to look like, this perfect universe of yours?

Speaker 7 Sounds kind of boring, if you ask me.

Speaker 56 I'm afraid that to describe a universe that is outside the reach of time and space is nearly impossible to one such as you, Tita.

Speaker 36 Right.

Speaker 19 Boring.

Speaker 7 Why couldn't I see you?

Speaker 7 I've been blaming myself for not knowing you were there.

Speaker 21 I could see everything else coming, but not you.

Speaker 63 No need to blame yourself, dear.

Speaker 62 It is not simply my origins that obscure me from your vision.

Speaker 58 I've taken many precautions so that my work was not disturbed.

Speaker 62 It's why I've gone to such pains to eliminate your friends and their insufferable diner.

Speaker 67 Always in my endeavors, there were these constructs stumbling haphazardly into thwarting me.

Speaker 12 We're not stumbling haphazardly. You don't think we do this for a reason?

Speaker 77 I know of your reasons.

Speaker 31 And I do not care about your reasons.

Speaker 69 I care about mine.

Speaker 58 You seem to think of yourselves as helpers, as Samaritans.

Speaker 41 Allow me to pose this question.

Speaker 57 Is it helpful to unmoor the raft from the reeds in the river if all that awaits is a waterfall?

Speaker 9 All these people you claim to be helping, they are all headed for darkness and oblivion.

Speaker 41 Aren't all of you exhausted?

Speaker 67 The rise and fall of empire,

Speaker 81 the ebb and flow of disease, the interruption of paradise by the serpent?

Speaker 76 I know you've all felt it.

Speaker 15 That unease.

Speaker 82 Oh God, another year.

Speaker 70 What if you're doing it to yourselves?

Speaker 70 What if the decay of all things is not an immutable law?

Speaker 81 What if, my friends, we make the world?

Speaker 3 It all sounds fascinating until I remember that you're torturing an entire galaxy.

Speaker 75 Yes.

Speaker 54 There is that.

Speaker 56 Unfortunate.

Speaker 70 Grist for the mill, I'm afraid.

Speaker 67 Should I not sacrifice one galaxy to save countless others?

Speaker 12 I don't feel saved. Anyone else here feels saved? When does the saving start? That sounds nice.

Speaker 54 Patience, Gloria.

Speaker 12 Your whole plan hinges on you being right.

Speaker 17 Are you right? I am.

Speaker 12 Are you sure? History's full of people apologizing for their solution to society's ills. They all say they're right at first.

Speaker 59 I believe I am a bit different, Gloria.

Speaker 12 They all say that, too. Everything hinges on you being right.

Speaker 12 And if you're wrong, you've created trillions of souls only to torture them. They will not be open to hearing your apology.

Speaker 72 I will be thanked.

Speaker 47 In the end.

Speaker 12 In the end?

Speaker 12 In the end?

Speaker 12 Ever waited on tables, Kroc?

Speaker 74 Are you being serious?

Speaker 12 Well, I've done it my whole life.

Speaker 12 It's interesting waiting tables.

Speaker 12 It's psychologically

Speaker 12 very

Speaker 12 interesting.

Speaker 12 People are nice, generally speaking, but for some reason, when you sit them down at a table in a restaurant, this

Speaker 12 thing takes over because they suddenly have a little power now, right?

Speaker 12 Now they can decide whether or not you get a good tip.

Speaker 12 They suddenly sit in judgment of your performance. You give them a little bit of power, and that's when they start to have ideas.

Speaker 12 Why isn't she she doing this?

Speaker 19 Why is it she doing it the way I would do it?

Speaker 30 Can you believe the service in this place?

Speaker 12 Lots of ideas.

Speaker 12 And the ideas, of course, come mostly from people who have never waited a table in their life.

Speaker 12 I've spent a lot of time in my life having to deal with people who have power over me.

Speaker 12 And they always have lots of ideas. And you know know what i don't think i can take any more of

Speaker 12 people

Speaker 12 and their fucking ideas

Speaker 12 i'm sick of it

Speaker 12 i'm so sick of it it's just a battlefield of ideas out there and you know what i don't think i've ever had an idea in my life

Speaker 12 i just helped people

Speaker 12 I brought them some food or a cup of coffee and moved on to the next table. And then along come the people with the power and ideas, and all they do is make my life harder.

Speaker 12 Someone as powerful as you, do you have any idea how much unmitigated joy you could create if you stopped having ideas and just helped people?

Speaker 12 I'm so sick of it.

Speaker 12 You're holding three children hostage.

Speaker 12 Release the children and let's get on with this.

Speaker 70 Anything else, Gloria?

Speaker 12 Your chicken was dry.

Speaker 12 Let's go, everyone.

Speaker 12 We need to say some goodbyes.

Speaker 48 So they live in your radio, but they also leave the radio and live inside other stuff. Yeah, it's like a poltergeist possession movie, but nice.

Speaker 9 Wild.

Speaker 43 Nothing like that in here?

Speaker 48 No.

Speaker 48 I do feel like Donkey Kong Jr. is talking to me sometimes, but that may be my imagination. So what are you going to do?

Speaker 43 I've got a good hiding spot in the back room.

Speaker 48 I'll wait there, and eventually, this place will light up.

Speaker 32 As long as there's someone inside, it'll start working.

Speaker 15 Then what?

Speaker 17 Then.

Speaker 48 It's the next place and the next.

Speaker 48 Some people will stay, some will go. That's the life.

Speaker 47 That's life.

Speaker 48 I've got to ask about the arm.

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 48 You know, life told me to stay out of the Justine Burbank system.

Speaker 32 It happens.

Speaker 3 So, if you got on board the diner, how did you end up here?

Speaker 48 It was time to move on.

Speaker 3 If you've been here before,

Speaker 48 can you tell me how we get out of this?

Speaker 18 I could.

Speaker 48 But remember, it never repeats itself.

Speaker 48 Look, I know this looks pretty bleak. I'm standing here.
I'm alone. I've got a janky robot arm.

Speaker 48 Remember that dude who owned the comic book shop?

Speaker 44 Gregory? Gregory, the god of chaos.

Speaker 48 He paid us $100 to clear out his storage space and load up a U-Haul. I remember.
We were running out of couch surfing options at the moment, so what did we do?

Speaker 48 We made a copy of his key and slept in his storage space for two months. That's right.
Then along came Kevin.

Speaker 32 Kevin. Sweet guy.

Speaker 48 Way too much Broadway memorabilia.

Speaker 48 He was mortified when we first went over to his house. Because he slept on a mattress on the floor.

Speaker 43 No box spring, but we didn't care.

Speaker 48 Because we had been sleeping in a storage space for two months. Why are you telling me this? I know it's a silly little story, but

Speaker 48 we survive because of the things we've survived.

Speaker 48 You want to know how you get out of this?

Speaker 43 I'm sorry, David.

Speaker 48 You don't.

Speaker 43 But you'll survive.

Speaker 48 Every bullet makes you more bulletproof.

Speaker 9 Best get a move on, David.

Speaker 48 I don't know when this thing's going to take off.

Speaker 73 I'd hate to scoop you up on accident.

Speaker 73 Alright, I mean, you can come along if you want, but I don't know.

Speaker 44 Two of us?

Speaker 48 Mmm, it's bad for the brand.

Speaker 31 It's bad for the brand.

Speaker 77 Good luck, David.

Speaker 44 You too, David.

Speaker 33 Y'all...

Speaker 9 David, over here.

Speaker 19 Behind the topiary, David.

Speaker 48 Is it weird that I like the funny voices on you too?

Speaker 30 David, you can take that humor and put it in your back pocket for the time being. Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 David, we believe it's time to extricate ourselves from these odd garments.

Speaker 49 Okay.

Speaker 30 Take the sphere.

Speaker 11 Get out of your phone.

Speaker 48 Holding sphere, phone out.

Speaker 3 Get in there, husband.

Speaker 9 On my way.

Speaker 45 Well,

Speaker 11 that ain't much better, but at least we're a bit more clandestine.

Speaker 45 What of the other David?

Speaker 48 I guess he hides out in there until the thing takes off.

Speaker 11 Not a bad disposition for a man that's one quarter junkyard.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 45 David, I imagine that was mighty unnerving to see your mirror image.

Speaker 48 What are we doing?

Speaker 11 I don't think any of us really know, David.

Speaker 48 I'm standing here with a glowing ball.

Speaker 45 Could have gone much worse, David.

Speaker 3 This is probably a piece of sporting equipment.

Speaker 48 They probably throw this through a hoop or something.

Speaker 11 David, I'm thinking maybe you had some high hopes for this unplanned little venture of ours.

Speaker 43 Maybe I did.

Speaker 45 We admire your fortitude in the face of all this, David.

Speaker 48 I can't believe this is their plan.

Speaker 47 I know, David.

Speaker 48 It's not even a plan, it's just.

Speaker 48 I don't even know what to call it.

Speaker 45 David, they are like so many people out there in that ocean of existence, just trying to wring a drop of the possible from the impossible.

Speaker 45 Such an act can lead one to some very odd places, such as the place we find ourselves now.

Speaker 11 I know you were just trying to turn it all around, David.

Speaker 11 We admire your hopefulness.

Speaker 48 I feel like we were just getting started.

Speaker 45 I know, David.

Speaker 48 The sister ship is coming in for a landing.

Speaker 17 I

Speaker 3 guess this is it.

Speaker 3 Oh!

Speaker 3 Hello there! I recognize those voices anywhere.

Speaker 7 How are you three?

Speaker 7 Okay, listen close, listen close. Do you see that great big ship all the way over there?

Speaker 30 We're all gonna get onto that big ship.

Speaker 7 Isn't that fun?

Speaker 7 And we have a special room picked out just for you.

Speaker 7 Can you help me walk towards it?

Speaker 93 Come here, you little shith.

Speaker 38 Who wants a piggyback ride?

Speaker 38 Ah,

Speaker 73 that's lovely.

Speaker 81 It warms the heart, does it not?

Speaker 12 You killed their sister. You want to knock it off with the genial bullshit?

Speaker 67 I'm going to enjoy these years we're going to spend together, Gloria.

Speaker 57 It will be my personal mission to bring you around to my side of things.

Speaker 57 It's not so monstrous as you might think.

Speaker 12 So nice to have a dream, Kroc.

Speaker 12 We're going to say our goodbyes, and then we can.

Speaker 12 Then we're all yours.

Speaker 34 Lovely.

Speaker 8 Please take your time.

Speaker 74 You have the rest of your

Speaker 35 Get your buttons in there, kids. Don't press any buttons.
You're gonna blow up the whole thing.

Speaker 48 Is that Malu's family? Yes.

Speaker 48 Do they know yet?

Speaker 7 Let's make that tomorrow's problem, okay?

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 48 Hey,

Speaker 48 take this.

Speaker 48 Um.

Speaker 33 What is this, David?

Speaker 3 It's a sphere, Labooza.

Speaker 7 Yes, I can feel that.

Speaker 48 What is it? I don't know. Just take it.

Speaker 7 It has some strange vibrations.

Speaker 48 Honestly, it's probably a hairdryer or something.

Speaker 7 Okay, I'll bring it inside.

Speaker 75 Sure.

Speaker 48 How'd it go in there?

Speaker 7 As expected.

Speaker 51 Sadly.

Speaker 51 You've been quiet today.

Speaker 38 You've been quiet today.

Speaker 26 Have I?

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 74 We both have.

Speaker 37 I guess.

Speaker 9 What's going on?

Speaker 53 Days like this, I

Speaker 38 get a little reflective.

Speaker 3 Days like this?

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 3 We've never had a day like this.

Speaker 42 No?

Speaker 42 No.

Speaker 38 I seem to recall this one time where I got shoved into deep deep space. Wow.

Speaker 40 I was very reflective that day.

Speaker 70 I thought we had evolved past moments like this.

Speaker 38 Oh, I don't evolve.

Speaker 14 Really? Why would I?

Speaker 38 I was born perfect.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 17 Foolish of me.

Speaker 38 We should take a vacation.

Speaker 39 What? A vacation.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 36 Where?

Speaker 16 I don't know.

Speaker 39 Where do people go on vacation?

Speaker 17 I don't know.

Speaker 3 The Caribbean?

Speaker 40 No tropics.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 39 Skiing? Yeah, I don't like downward motion.

Speaker 9 Of course.

Speaker 38 A riverboat.

Speaker 17 A riverboat?

Speaker 14 With gambling on it.

Speaker 3 Sure.

Speaker 38 I hear you do a good riverboat gambler.

Speaker 3 Why do a fantastic riverboat gambler?

Speaker 38 The full experience, though, the suit, everything.

Speaker 17 Of course.

Speaker 3 You think you can really go that long without doing math?

Speaker 37 I'll be counting cards.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 26 So

Speaker 42 don't die.

Speaker 3 Nobody dies.

Speaker 23 I'm going to implant something in your body. I'm sorry.
It's the same thing I planted on Casper.

Speaker 23 I'll be able to monitor you from anywhere in the universe. You won't be able to talk to me, but I'll know your status at all times.
That's creepy.

Speaker 78 I'm aware.

Speaker 12 But you're probably right.

Speaker 12 Okay, go for it.

Speaker 23 Hold still.

Speaker 12 I'm not going to be able to help you anymore.

Speaker 23 I know.

Speaker 12 That's really going to kill me.

Speaker 23 I know.

Speaker 12 I don't know what.

Speaker 12 I don't know who I am without this place anymore.

Speaker 23 As someone who has enhanced or replaced most parts of their body, I offer you this.

Speaker 23 Nothing makes you except yourself.

Speaker 23 We make ourselves.

Speaker 41 We make the world.

Speaker 23 Good luck, Gloria.

Speaker 12 You too.

Speaker 17 Fuckface. Sita.

Speaker 35 I was thinking about something. What's that? You know how you won't ever shut up about being a terrible father?

Speaker 22 Like, oh, woe is me, my terrible fathering, all that.

Speaker 35 Yeah. I realize now.

Speaker 35 I won't ever have to listen to any of that shit again.

Speaker 35 You know why?

Speaker 3 Because you have the worst dad ever.

Speaker 21 Because I have the worst dad ever.

Speaker 28 Like, literally, the worst dad in the universe.

Speaker 33 It's true.

Speaker 12 Not a lot of people can say that.

Speaker 16 Congratulations.

Speaker 35 In fact, I never have to listen to anybody complain about their dad ever again. Isn't that great?

Speaker 3 Turns out this is actually a great day.

Speaker 47 Isn't it?

Speaker 26 You'll look out for him, right? Of course I will.

Speaker 22 And I promise I'll only teach him 20 ways to kill someone.

Speaker 22 Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 How many are there?

Speaker 14 I'm always discovering new ones.

Speaker 3 Alright.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Tita.

Speaker 23 Shut up, stupid.

Speaker 54 Hey.

Speaker 17 Hey.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 3 They've got you set up in the ship.

Speaker 43 Nice little room, apparently.

Speaker 29 I heard.

Speaker 3 Listen, I know the sisters are all like super powerful geniuses, but they're just as full of shit as anybody else, okay?

Speaker 48 I know.

Speaker 3 You went on a little adventure today.

Speaker 48 I was trying to save the day.

Speaker 48 Well,

Speaker 3 that's admirable.

Speaker 48 This can't be how it goes.

Speaker 3 David, sometimes you just fucking lose.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter how good you are or how right you are or how strong you are. Sometimes.

Speaker 3 the tide just rises up and fucking clobbers you.

Speaker 3 You can get mad about it if you want, but you'll never end up getting mad at the right person or thing.

Speaker 3 The only thing you can do when shit like this happens is just

Speaker 3 reach out.

Speaker 3 Try and grab onto something that's still there.

Speaker 3 And if there's nothing there, you reach further and further until you find it.

Speaker 3 because amidst the waves of defeat and injustice

Speaker 3 you'll always find something out there that will outlast it all

Speaker 3 I'll try and do that if you do

Speaker 48 are you coming back

Speaker 3 I'm coming back

Speaker 3 I was always coming back

Speaker 3 I was too.

Speaker 3 Muckle Waynes, they're not gonna know you're not in the radio.

Speaker 11 That's well heard, Casper. There's all sorts of places out there we can make our home.

Speaker 3 Take care of him, okay?

Speaker 45 We shall, my friend.

Speaker 3 Take care of them.

Speaker 36 I will.

Speaker 3 Come on, come say goodbye.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 44 David.

Speaker 28 You've got the fabricator and the exciter, right?

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 22 Here, take these pencils.

Speaker 48 Hello, kitty pencils.

Speaker 38 Yes, because apparently it would kill your father to find a black wing or two. They're fun.

Speaker 12 David, take this bag. It's dried chilies.
Apparently, there are no aliens out there that know how to do spicy.

Speaker 17 Thanks.

Speaker 3 Take this.

Speaker 82 This is a picture of me and you and your mom.

Speaker 3 It's been in my wallet for literally a hundred years, so

Speaker 3 could use a change of scene.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 12 I feel strangely calm right now, and I don't know why.

Speaker 12 It feels like I almost lost this place about a hundred times in the past year.

Speaker 12 But then suddenly, I stopped being afraid of it.

Speaker 12 I stopped being afraid of losing something I cared about, and it was replaced with,

Speaker 12 I don't know, this weird certainty.

Speaker 12 Like nothing could take it away from me.

Speaker 12 I don't know what to call that feeling.

Speaker 45 Well, that's faith, Gloria.

Speaker 45 It always has been.

Speaker 45 Now I say that to you, and you think I'm talking about God, but it's apart from that.

Speaker 45 I've thought much about faith throughout my life, as I'm sure you can imagine. I've seen it everywhere, outside of the realm of the church, in everyday life.

Speaker 45 I've seen people have devout faith in all sorts of things.

Speaker 45 Look at Leaf there.

Speaker 45 A faith in there always being a way. A faith in solutions.

Speaker 25 There's Casper,

Speaker 45 a faith in tomorrow, ever forward, that way.

Speaker 45 Then there's Ava, who thinks we don't notice that at the beginning of each of her notebooks, she writes a little something.

Speaker 45 At quid, amabo, nissi, quod enigma est.

Speaker 39 And what shall I love if not not the enigma?

Speaker 46 A faith in the unknown.

Speaker 9 And then there's you, Gloria.

Speaker 45 An unerring faith in all of us.

Speaker 45 It's just a letting go, is all.

Speaker 3 A peace within you.

Speaker 45 A trust that wraps itself around you.

Speaker 46 You need not know what it is.

Speaker 45 Not sure if even I do.

Speaker 12 Everybody remembered those feelings, okay?

Speaker 12 That's how we get back,

Speaker 12 David.

Speaker 12 We love you very much.

Speaker 82 It's time to go.

Speaker 48 I'm not saying goodbye.

Speaker 18 Good.

Speaker 12 I'm done with that, too.

Speaker 11 Go with God, y'all. We'll be out there, somewhere, looking for you.

Speaker 23 We'll be taking our leave now, Father.

Speaker 41 You're welcome to stay, Kazi.

Speaker 57 I have much work to do, and it would fill me with joy to do it with my family by my side.

Speaker 23 Let's let that be the last time you refer to us as your family.

Speaker 74 You just called me father.

Speaker 23 I call you father as a reminder.

Speaker 17 very

Speaker 17 well.

Speaker 50 If you'll not stay, then I suggest you climb into your ship and fly very, very far away from here.

Speaker 67 This courtesy I extend to you will not be extended again.

Speaker 23 We'll be leaving, Father.

Speaker 23 But I need you to hear this:

Speaker 23 I will be coming back.

Speaker 23 And when I do,

Speaker 23 I'm coming back for everything.

Speaker 56 I cannot be killed, Cuzzi.

Speaker 59 So long as my dream lives,

Speaker 83 I live.

Speaker 23 Anything can be killed.

Speaker 47 So,

Speaker 59 I'm to see you next on the battlefield, is that it?

Speaker 94 No,

Speaker 23 you won't see me coming.

Speaker 63 I'm filled with pride

Speaker 59 in spite of myself, David.

Speaker 26 Okay,

Speaker 3 I love you, Kiddo.

Speaker 48 I know.

Speaker 23 Good luck, everyone.

Speaker 18 Okay.

Speaker 12 And welcome everyone to the craziest fucking thing we've ever done.

Speaker 17 Get them out.

Speaker 22 Sounds like we're good to go.

Speaker 28 Paradise, Leif, better be fucking right about this.

Speaker 3 Only one way to find out.

Speaker 12 You're up, Leif.

Speaker 34 Here I go.

Speaker 43 Hey there, Kroc.

Speaker 59 Ready to begin the rest of your life, Leif?

Speaker 28 We've decided

Speaker 28 we'll agree to your terms on one condition.

Speaker 54 Yes, Leif.

Speaker 81 You see, how this works is you are my prisoner and actually have no bargaining power.

Speaker 28 One condition.

Speaker 3 Alright, what is it?

Speaker 28 I want to see one of the guns.

Speaker 62 One of the guns?

Speaker 28 Yes.

Speaker 62 One of the guns from one of my soldiers.

Speaker 54 Yes.

Speaker 63 Leif, you realize that you will not be able to use this gun on myself or any of my men.

Speaker 3 I figured.

Speaker 31 Why, then?

Speaker 28 Cut me some slack. I'm an engineer.

Speaker 28 I need to see the thing that beat me.

Speaker 17 Very well.

Speaker 74 If it will speed things along,

Speaker 59 someone give him a gun.

Speaker 84 Thanks.

Speaker 26 So.

Speaker 28 What are you scared of, Kroc?

Speaker 49 Scared.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 70 I'm not scared of anything, Leaf.

Speaker 26 Really?

Speaker 74 Yes.

Speaker 19 See.

Speaker 28 The thing is, I don't really listen to what people say.

Speaker 28 I look at what they make.

Speaker 28 Back on Earth, we love to talk about peace. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men.
We say it every year.

Speaker 28 But what do we make?

Speaker 43 Weapons, mostly.

Speaker 28 On Earth, if one guy presses one button, the whole planet goes up in flames.

Speaker 57 But we love to talk about peace.

Speaker 28 And this gun

Speaker 28 wasn't meant for me.

Speaker 28 That huge weapon behind you, the one you shot down the diner with,

Speaker 28 that wasn't meant for us.

Speaker 28 You've wrapped this entire solar system in a shield.

Speaker 23 A shield

Speaker 28 for you, the almighty Kroc,

Speaker 28 to protect you from what?

Speaker 28 What are you scared of, Kroc?

Speaker 73 I fear nothing.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 43 This thing is really amazing.

Speaker 28 There's hardly any technology in it.

Speaker 28 I have no idea how it works. It would take me the rest of my life to figure this thing out.

Speaker 27 I

Speaker 9 hate that.

Speaker 28 I hate limitations.

Speaker 28 I hate barriers.

Speaker 28 I hate being trapped, guys.

Speaker 28 I can't do this, guys.

Speaker 3 Leaf, what are you talking about? I can't watch myself do this.

Speaker 28 Leaf. I can't watch any of you do it either.
Leaf!

Speaker 9 Sorry, pal.

Speaker 47 Leaf, what the fuck are you?

Speaker 24 What in the heavens? Leaf, are you out of

Speaker 57 the way? Somebody fucking stop him.

Speaker 9 Sorry, Doctor.

Speaker 83 You're a fucking madman.

Speaker 81 You really choose death.

Speaker 3 Showtime.

Speaker 3 What a fucking waste.

Speaker 89 What shall we do?

Speaker 81 I'm afraid there's nothing to do.

Speaker 58 Fucking earthlings.

Speaker 59 They couldn't have done this before dinner

Speaker 17 nothing.

Speaker 59 Prepare the diner for storage, I suppose.

Speaker 15 What an inauspicious ending.

Speaker 69 What is that?

Speaker 9 No

Speaker 3 impossible.

Speaker 17 What do we do?

Speaker 67 Find it and get it back.

Speaker 70 Will I ever stop underestimating you,

Speaker 17 little brother?

Speaker 48 The access key isn't working.

Speaker 14 Use the manual lock.

Speaker 23 I don't know where that is.

Speaker 12 Neither do I.

Speaker 23 Cheetah, what's going on? Why is the alarm going on?

Speaker 43 Labuza's in there.

Speaker 23 What is she doing?

Speaker 48 Me and the Muckle Wayne stole this fear from Croc's Planet. She said she was going to do some experiments with it.

Speaker 35 Next thing we know, there's a power surge to the Vista, and the whole ship is going crazy.

Speaker 38 Get me inside that room. All right, stand back.
God damn it.

Speaker 38 Fuck.

Speaker 53 Labooza,

Speaker 38 Labuza, whatever you're doing, you've got to stop.

Speaker 23 Labuza.

Speaker 24 What the fuck happened?

Speaker 23 Labuza

Speaker 23 Labuza, can you hear me?

Speaker 23 Tita, get the nano-surgeon.

Speaker 20 We're going to be okay.

Speaker 23 Labuza?

Speaker 20 We're going to be okay.

Speaker 23 What do you mean?

Speaker 7 I can see him now.

Speaker 7 Hello,

Speaker 79 holy shit,

Speaker 12 it worked,

Speaker 12 I think.

Speaker 24 Okay,

Speaker 12 not on earth.

Speaker 12 Oh my God.

Speaker 26 So

Speaker 60 are you to magically drop into my life from time to time?

Speaker 24 Is that how it's to go?

Speaker 78 Rohy.

Speaker 31 It's good that you've arrived.

Speaker 60 I've no idea how to cook this fish.

Speaker 1 Mirvin Foyuer

Speaker 9 Huh

Speaker 1 Mirvin Foyuer

Speaker 3 Sure

Speaker 3 Um

Speaker 3 Tak

Speaker 21 So what the fuck is all this then?

Speaker 92 Okay, so we were screwed, right?

Speaker 12 We found out that we were going to be trapped on this planet forever with this fucking space god while he tortures an entire galaxy.

Speaker 12 Do you have anything like limes on this planet?

Speaker 60 Perhaps those there?

Speaker 12 Okay, so we knew that these time weapons they were using didn't work quite right on the diner. They didn't send us to a random place in space and time.

Speaker 12 They sent us to a place that we had to have some connection to.

Speaker 38 Oh,

Speaker 12 that's great. Smells.

Speaker 12 Smells lovely. And then I remembered that we had these.

Speaker 47 What is that?

Speaker 12 They mimic the signal of the diner. So I was like, if we're wearing these, does that mean the same thing happens to us?

Speaker 50 Leif said, I don't know.

Speaker 12 And Ava said, yes, which usually means yes.

Speaker 14 So we all wore the pagers, and Leif shot all of us.

Speaker 29 He shot you?

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 16 And then I woke up here.

Speaker 15 Amazing.

Speaker 16 It is. I don't understand.

Speaker 38 Because I know you.

Speaker 12 It had to send me somewhere that I was connected to.

Speaker 79 I see.

Speaker 30 Do you?

Speaker 60 Not really.

Speaker 12 Well, don't worry about it. I'm here, and that's great.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 22 But it's terrible.

Speaker 12 Is it? Yes, because.

Speaker 38 Because I didn't really think through this part of the plan.

Speaker 60 Which part of the plan is this?

Speaker 12 I have to get back to the diner. I see.
I have no idea how to do that. Nor Nor do I.

Speaker 43 Exactly.

Speaker 12 I usually have Leif and Ava to figure this out.

Speaker 81 Ah, you need help. I do.

Speaker 60 Well, if I can tear you away from the kitchen for a moment, there is something I'd like to show you.

Speaker 12 What is it?

Speaker 28 Come with me.

Speaker 60 When the Earthlings were first brought to this planet, we had to be put into quarantine for some time.

Speaker 60 There was not much to do but browse their digital archives, and in an idle moment, I looked you up.

Speaker 14 Did you seriously Facebook stalk me from the future?

Speaker 60 I have no idea what that means.

Speaker 12 You were looking around for me?

Speaker 60 Well, perhaps I was a bit forlorn after our last encounter.

Speaker 12 Okay, I need you to not be charming yet. I'm trying to concentrate.
Very well.

Speaker 60 In my investigation, I discovered this.

Speaker 12 That's a statue of me. Tis.

Speaker 60 This is in the hero's pavilion in their capital city here on Segius.

Speaker 60 You're very important to them here.

Speaker 60 You were, according to them, the spark that lit the flames of rebellion.

Speaker 3 I was? Yes.

Speaker 14 Wow.

Speaker 60 So, when I discovered you asleep on my beach, I thought I should give them a ring.

Speaker 38 Give who a ring?

Speaker 60 Not sure who I spoke with now that you mention it.

Speaker 81 The powers that be.

Speaker 12 What did they say?

Speaker 60 They're sending a representative from the planetary government.

Speaker 68 Here? Yes. That's great.

Speaker 16 I believe it is. Okay.

Speaker 12 Okay, they can probably help me, right?

Speaker 60 More so than the last Scotsman in the universe, yes.

Speaker 12 Okay, so I just wait here and they show up?

Speaker 20 Apparently.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 12 I'm so amped right now.

Speaker 60 Emotions are running high, yes.

Speaker 28 When are they going to be here?

Speaker 91 First thing in the morning, they said.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 16 Okay.

Speaker 18 Oh, okay.

Speaker 12 I really need to take it down a notch. Or two.

Speaker 14 I'm running pretty hot right now.

Speaker 12 I need to distract myself.

Speaker 12 How can I distract myself?

Speaker 3 Well, that depends.

Speaker 12 On what?

Speaker 60 Am I allowed to be charming yet?

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 12 Fuck

Speaker 9 better than the void of space,

Speaker 3 I guess.

Speaker 19 Hello,

Speaker 19 hello,

Speaker 15 hello.

Speaker 12 Jesus, it's fucking beautiful here.

Speaker 60 It's almost embarrassing how lovely it is.

Speaker 78 Brody,

Speaker 12 I'm so sorry. I haven't asked you one question since yesterday.

Speaker 60 You've had quite a lot to say.

Speaker 12 How are you?

Speaker 12 How are things here?

Speaker 60 As you can see, I've no complaints.

Speaker 60 All I knew before this was a dying spacecraft stranded in the void.

Speaker 60 Now I have sand beneath my feet and an ocean.

Speaker 60 I must say, I'd seen pictures of the ocean, but there are some things that cannot be contained in an image.

Speaker 60 They've deposited all the earthlings here on this island. They call it Silmaroosh.

Speaker 60 That's their word for Earth, apparently.

Speaker 59 For the moment, they treat us as wildlife.

Speaker 60 They come here to study us. I had a visit the other day from a representative of the what was it?

Speaker 60 The Council of Language and Dialect, wanting to preserve my brogue.

Speaker 14 How are the mushrooms?

Speaker 60 Still in quarantine, sadly.

Speaker 60 Hard to find a home for many of them here. The salt water and sand is not the best of environments for fungi.

Speaker 60 Their language doesn't even have a word for my collagist.

Speaker 60 But I'll be reunited with them someday.

Speaker 60 After all, if you and I can be reunited, then anything's possible, is it not?

Speaker 12 I missed you.

Speaker 60 And I, you?

Speaker 12 I should have given you a picture of me or something.

Speaker 60 Ah, Gloria.

Speaker 60 There are some things that cannot be contained in an image.

Speaker 29 Would you stop it?

Speaker 24 What did I do? Stop it. I'm afraid I can't help it.

Speaker 91 There, on the horizon.

Speaker 63 Here it comes.

Speaker 14 Wow, it looks like a bird.

Speaker 60 They seem to be incapable of making anything ugly on this planet.

Speaker 91 I should warn you, the Sijians are a.

Speaker 3 what's a word for it?

Speaker 28 A fastidious lot.

Speaker 91 Try and have patience.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 26 Gloria, hello. Hi.

Speaker 29 My name is Borsch, and this is my colleague, Ixio.

Speaker 20 Good morning, Gloria. Please place your hand on the scanner for authentication.

Speaker 19 Oh, uh, okay.

Speaker 29 We are from the Council of History and Reconciliation, and it's an honor to meet you.

Speaker 12 Thanks, you too.

Speaker 42 ID confirmed.

Speaker 22 Welcome to CGIS, Gloria.

Speaker 29 Gloria, the council has authorized me to say the following.

Speaker 29 Gloria, it is an honor to have you on CGI, and we have granted our two agents, Borsch, that's me, and Ixio. I'm Ixio, to provide you with anything you need during your stay.

Speaker 20 We should add that the word anything has been accompanied by three caveat subgroups that can be found here on this tablet.

Speaker 17 Oh, okay.

Speaker 29 Gloria, I suggest we begin with a debrief, followed by the creation of action items.

Speaker 20 I suggest we take those action items and create a cross-council working document.

Speaker 85 Agreed.

Speaker 29 Following this meeting will be secondary and tertiary meetings with representatives from the Council of Technological Assistance and the Council for Dietary Acclimation, though their meeting will be delayed for two days.

Speaker 29 What's the reasoning for that?

Speaker 20 Trito's partner has given birth.

Speaker 27 Wonderful.

Speaker 29 Have we distributed congratulatory messages to the family?

Speaker 20 Communications is finalizing the language.

Speaker 29 Excellent.

Speaker 53 Gloria.

Speaker 12 Guys, it's very nice to meet you. We've got a lot to talk about.
How about you come inside? I'll make us some food and we can talk.

Speaker 20 We think that would be a very beneficial next step.

Speaker 12 Great.

Speaker 12 Come on in.

Speaker 29 We should send a flash memo to the Council of Culinary Preservation regarding this meal.

Speaker 20 I recommend we send it with earth metrics to preserve authenticity.

Speaker 28 Agreed.

Speaker 47 Okay,

Speaker 17 Alive

Speaker 3 check

Speaker 90 location.

Speaker 3 No idea.

Speaker 17 Hello

Speaker 94 Good morning

Speaker 18 X.

Speaker 94 Please proceed with us to testing center three.

Speaker 17 Us

Speaker 94 please proceed with us to testing center three.

Speaker 94 We will begin your debrief there.

Speaker 9 Exes

Speaker 9 Okay

Speaker 17 Sure

Speaker 17 Shit

Speaker 82 Lead the way, ladies.

Speaker 3 Had a pager on me.

Speaker 17 Have either of you seen it?

Speaker 94 We'll begin your debrief in testing center three. Sure.

Speaker 94 Through this door. Okay.

Speaker 3 Any chance one of you could kill me right now?

Speaker 19 No, no.

Speaker 55 Didn't think so.

Speaker 3 That's my pager.

Speaker 23 I always said that when we visited someone's house for the first time, we should bring a gift.

Speaker 39 And you argued with me and argued with me.

Speaker 39 But now look at what you brought me.

Speaker 9 Hello, darling.

Speaker 17 Hello, honey.

Speaker 24 Hello?

Speaker 24 Hello?

Speaker 24 Hey, Peter.

Speaker 12 Hey, Fiona.

Speaker 12 If you're hearing this, our plan worked. We kept you hidden in the diner, and it was able to escape.

Speaker 12 You saved the day, Fiona.

Speaker 12 Now the hard hard part starts. We've all got some messages for you.
Here's Leif.

Speaker 25 Hey, Fiona. So, quick breakdown on Peter.
He's completely autonomous. He'll know when to recharge and when to do maintenance.
I've programmed him with several basic commands for you.

Speaker 25 You've got sentry mode, zone defense, shadow, death blossom,

Speaker 45 yeah.

Speaker 25 Sorry. There's a full list up on the roof.
Check it out. The command center is all shut down.
I'm the only one who knows how to use all that stuff anyway.

Speaker 25 But even though it's all shut down, do yourself a favor and spend some time up there. You can even sleep in the hammock if you want.

Speaker 25 I've spent my life under a whole lot of stars and I can guarantee you there's nothing more beautiful than the sky when the diner is traveling. It's different every night.

Speaker 86 No repeats.

Speaker 86 But then,

Speaker 25 sometimes you'll see a galaxy you recognize sailing by. Maybe a nebula or two.

Speaker 25 They become old friends.

Speaker 25 Oh.

Speaker 25 And under the front counter is something called a purple nullifier. Don't touch it.

Speaker 25 Here's Ava.

Speaker 52 Hi there, Fiona.

Speaker 53 Your main concern during this time will be to keep people out of my booth.

Speaker 53 I realize it looks like a mess in there, but everything is exactly where it needs to be. However, I have left you a notebook and a pencil.

Speaker 22 Because guess what, Fiona?

Speaker 53 You're a scientist scientist now. Being a scientist isn't about going to school.
In fact, some of the best ones never went to school. It's about the way you see the world.

Speaker 53 It's about curiosity and in my case, obsession.

Speaker 53 Write down the things you see.

Speaker 38 Keep writing them down.

Speaker 53 Eventually, in all those things you observe, Something immense and mysterious emerges.

Speaker 53 A similarity in all things.

Speaker 53 One great thread that you follow into the darkness. You can miss it if you're not looking close enough.
You definitely don't want to miss it.

Speaker 3 Okay, here's Dummy. Okay, Fiona.

Speaker 3 Loneliness.

Speaker 95 Fiona, I don't know... when we're going to be able to make it back there.

Speaker 25 Considering how that thing works, it could be a long time for us us or a short time for you or both or neither.

Speaker 64 You may be in for a lot of long nights alone.

Speaker 64 Try not to let it get to you.

Speaker 64 The thing is, you can be lonely in a group of people. I've done it many times.

Speaker 86 What that means is, if you can be lonely with all sorts of people around,

Speaker 86 you can also be alone without being lonely.

Speaker 86 There are all sorts of ways to do that.

Speaker 86 For me, it was

Speaker 86 ketchup bottles and napkin holders and the fucking parmesan cheese.

Speaker 86 The work right in front of me became my friend because it was always there.

Speaker 86 The next day became my friend because it was always there.

Speaker 86 No matter what you do, just

Speaker 86 keep going.

Speaker 86 Okay, here's the Mungawitz.

Speaker 11 Well, Fiona, we were putting work towards finding you a nice little bonbon from the Bible to help you through this time, but nothing felt quite right.

Speaker 46 Yes, Fiona, sometimes it's best to set aside the books and speak from one soul to another.

Speaker 11 And what we'll say to you on this, the first day of your new life, is...

Speaker 11 Do not forget the mission.

Speaker 28 And what is that mission, you might ask?

Speaker 45 Nothing too trying.

Speaker 45 No journeys up the mountain or down into the deeps?

Speaker 11 It's simply to reach out to another. All sorts of people will be walking in that door of yours, and their needs will range from the simple to the absurd.

Speaker 25 And there you shall be.

Speaker 45 And you'll look this way and that for the one who's set to handle this mission. But on your left or your right will be no one.

Speaker 45 It will just be little old you.

Speaker 11 And there will always be that moment where you say to yourself, Caldern, this is up to me.

Speaker 45 And it's a sobering moment. That moment when the heavens points its finger to you.

Speaker 11 It ain't a duty you signed up for or would wish on another, but there it sits in your lap. waiting for you to do something about it.

Speaker 25 It's a sacred duty, sometimes a burden.

Speaker 45 But the task of connecting with another and letting their life into yours now sits with you.

Speaker 11 You must try not to shirk that duty, Fiona.

Speaker 45 And more importantly, see that duty as a privilege.

Speaker 11 May the Lord bless you and keep you, Fiona.

Speaker 45 And may our prayers for your fortitude find you somewhere out in the beyond.

Speaker 12 Okay, Fiona, this is it.

Speaker 12 What advice do I have?

Speaker 12 I don't know how good of a cook you are, but you're about to become a better one, unless you're like Casper.

Speaker 53 Hey.

Speaker 12 Remember that walk-in where I kept you captive for a while?

Speaker 46 Well,

Speaker 12 you're going to learn a lot in that walk-in.

Speaker 12 See, when I started walking in there, the things I found in there started to change.

Speaker 12 Like it knew me.

Speaker 12 All the ingredients I knew how to use were suddenly there.

Speaker 12 It was giving me everything I knew how to use.

Speaker 12 I'll give you an example.

Speaker 38 Casper, what did the walk-in give you?

Speaker 25 Me? Uh,

Speaker 25 white bread and uh

Speaker 86 ham,

Speaker 86 uh,

Speaker 3 mayonnaise, lots of mayonnaise.

Speaker 38 You get it.

Speaker 12 The other thing it does, though,

Speaker 45 it shows you where you've been.

Speaker 12 You'll see an ingredient, and you'll think, oh, yeah,

Speaker 12 I know how to make that.

Speaker 12 And you'll remember why you know it and who taught you to make it.

Speaker 12 It'll show you your life if you let it.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry about about this, Fiona.

Speaker 12 I bet you are wanting a bigger victory than this.

Speaker 12 But sometimes survival has to be the victory.

Speaker 12 Sometimes you need to choose what victory is.

Speaker 12 Sometimes victory is just the next day.

Speaker 12 But it doesn't have to stop there.

Speaker 86 First,

Speaker 12 little victories,

Speaker 12 then bigger ones, and bigger ones, until one day, with all those little victories behind you,

Speaker 12 you'll look around and see that the fighting is finally done.

Speaker 12 One day the fighting will finally be done.

Speaker 12 And you can sit down and have a look at the world you created.

Speaker 12 It's out there somewhere, Fiona.

Speaker 86 We're on our way.

Speaker 96 Okay, Peter,

Speaker 30 let's start the shift.

Speaker 30 Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y'all.

Speaker 11 Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness.

Speaker 95 And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens.

Speaker 45 Just remember, we're out there somewhere looking for you.

Speaker 11 We open at six.

Speaker 3 Thank you so much for listening to season four of Midnight Burger. We're going to take a little break now because damn, we almost caught fire this time.

Speaker 3 Don't worry though, we'll be back later this year. We're going to head over to the subscriber feeds for a while.
do some shift notes where we talk about the season we just made.

Speaker 3 We're going to take everybody to audio drama school and teach everyone how to do what we do. And then, God willing and the crick don't rise, maybe a live event or two.

Speaker 3 Hell, we might even put out a comic book. But we'll have a lot more on that much later.
For now, we just want to say thank you so much for listening.

Speaker 3 Making this show has been the adventure of a lifetime. And we're so glad that all of you have been here for it.
So let's hear from them one more time in season four.

Speaker 3 The few, the proud, Burt Bert's Army. Our Monte Cristo level and above supporters.
Wilson, Billy, Burtbert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Society of Bethany's, Bethany Power, Lady Bethany, aka Mrs.

Speaker 3 Turkey Spit, Byro the motherfucking dragon with his horde of Bethanies, a non-binary thylacine named Bethany, three geese in a trench coat, all named Bethany, definitely not causing mischief in the ongoing Bethany War.

Speaker 3 Gathering of Bethany's drink from the water hole. Bethany rides the big moose into battle.
Bethany 2, Electric Boogaloo, Bailey Bethany Burr.

Speaker 3 Alexander Leroque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanies in their survival war. Vive la Révolution.

Speaker 3 Corvina the only real Bethany. Anomalous Bethany.

Speaker 3 Upschnart the probability demolition expert will now perform his new spoken word jazz opera, a baffling biography on the brilliant battles of bold and belligerent Bethanies.

Speaker 3 2 Polar Cat has received word of a Bethany war and would like to offer the aid of the Space Cat Army. Green Mountain Hermit wants that N.B.
Bethany stew recipe.

Speaker 3 The shapeshifting sad girl says, Bethany, you've done it again. Dances with the Bethany's, or Bethany's with burritos, if you prefer.

Speaker 3 Bethany's battled boldly, breaching barriers between bizarre biomes, birthing bloodshed beyond belief, buckshot Drake's true foes. Cowboy and Sasquatch haunts Bethany's.

Speaker 3 My hot wife Bethany calls this show Space Burger all the time. Coco Yumi doesn't know why the Bethany's started the war, but asks if anyone needs a drink or a snack.
Oh Bethany, where art thou?

Speaker 3 Reesey Pontiff can fit infinity TARDISES Inside her Bethany's. Eris, goddess of Bethany's.

Speaker 3 Rednell hiding in a crowd of Bethanies to avoid capture by Wily Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire.

Speaker 3 Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire, bamboozled by the bajillions of bustling Bethany's Bethanies, belligerently blocking his sight of the devious Rednell.

Speaker 3 The Julius Bohannon Foundation, the coalition of patrons named Bethany, and contributions to your TED station from viewers like you. Mr.

Speaker 3 Squizzle Sizzle Wizzle Fizzle, the horrendous, secret co-conspirator behind the long-onging Bethany War. Banjo Bethany has risen a flag, not one of surrender or war, but of friendship.

Speaker 3 This war has gone on long enough. I pushed her.
Bethany, that is. Big Bag bussing out the Bethany Bantaiga.
Bubblebud Bethany has banana breath.

Speaker 3 Local marsh hag fears the Bethany Society has grown too powerful and can't make enough stew to stop the Bethanic plague. It's Nora's B-Day, and all she wants is a big bowl of Bethany stew.

Speaker 3 Hold it now. Hold it now.
Hold it now. Hold it now.
Bethany. Lost a bet that episode 42 would be called the Restaurant at the the End of the Universe.

Speaker 3 Joe, I'm running out of joke patron names, but I want you to know that you've created an amazing community here. No, no, it's like if the guardians of the galaxy worked in a diner.

Speaker 3 Heather Smith, Breelzebub, Bronson458, Karen Scott, Jessica Loren, Telltale Raven, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, Scott W.

Speaker 3 Brusso, Bianca, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Burt Ruba, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Don't Tariff Me, Bro.

Speaker 3 Oopsie, Elab, The Wizard Mooses, Grimlore, Jenny Waboom, Aberly Orr, M.

Speaker 3 Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Tyler Edwards, LlamaFresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, and Jenny the Crypted Paladin, Valtiel Heller, Revan the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, Karora the 12th, A Bug on a Popsicle, Shh.

Speaker 3 Just listen. Damien Fletterjohn, Zomcon, Welcome to Quan Pound.
Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen. Mr.
Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel, leader of the Trouble Puffs Fight Club.

Speaker 3 The wolves in the deep freeze say awoo.

Speaker 3 Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans, Simpson, Alice Lewis, Coda, Benign Alien, Even Older Liz, McBear Cat, Grack Pinefeather, Siddekin, Druidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for you.

Speaker 3 JS, Daniel Enright, Enderglitch, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Shaloma, Bill Zangana Lester, Naya Venturi, Michelle Hopper, Jessica Engela, Kevin Dottri, Adam Wolf, Martin Deeres, Entropy Eigenbasis, Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Matt B., Richard Ryan Moschel, Theodore Nassan Henzo, D.

Speaker 3 Flower, Kella T. Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Parmesan Goose, Jen Rhodes, Kevin Lutra, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Alan Berglund, Dylan Winslow, V.
Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey.

Speaker 3 I hope something good happens to you today.

Speaker 3 Yes, you, Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mom, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Jacqueline Snyder, Ron Hayden, Dan Gentry, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Stephen Duro, Whisperdan, Mad Maddox, Joaquin Jimenez, Muffins, Space Wives, Chad Hatter, Captain Jack Hartness, once Peter the Robot, Oreo, Oreo, no wait, pineapple.

Speaker 3 Actually, never mind. Oreo, Jargon HD.
Tell your cat, I said.

Speaker 3 Arkansas Toothpick Made Me Bleed. Banana Manaz.

Speaker 3 Cuddly Kraken, Life's a Load Studio, Sue Miller, The Game, Disco Techno House, Axel Light, Sahil, Varyan, Semenity, Tim, LL Cool Mint Jams, The Other Original Caitlin, Ken Daddy, Andrea, Jaded Umbra, Chris Hightree, Millie Was Taken, Dead to Me 86, Captain Ruark, Atreides, Hannes, Lucas Isn't a Loser, He's a Wiener.

Speaker 3 Ben Camp, Louise Bavnani, Shan Man Manman, My84 Chevy, Kinran, Wabajack, Daniel, Chance Rygaard, Just Books and Coffee, Dr. Budiologist The Glutes Doctor, Annie, Eruo you okay? Tobias Ewing.

Speaker 3 Thank you for pressing too. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received.
Queen Surly Jess, R.I.P.

Speaker 3 Lance McLean, You Would Have Hoved Midnight Burger. Adam Tokelove, Dr.

Speaker 3 Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jeka, Greybeard, Colin Loves Roxy, the size 2 fish you've been looking for, Eokai, Natasha Without Boris, Mina is the wisest of all wolves, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, The Main Immortal, Cheel Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywog, Jinx the Judgmental but well-meaning, Cat, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Professor Thaddeus Snookum's the Eighth, Mr.

Speaker 3 Grin, Glenn Petrosky, True Trans Traveler. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler.

Speaker 3 Elizabeth Hammond, Funchbrunglin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt, Bromine, Pronounced Bro, Mine, Cat Cat, Mother of Pearl, El Ching Gon, Sealface, Rigger Mortise, Elmo, Megan's Things, Things Meghan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magically Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Matthew with Two Ts, The First T is Silent.

Speaker 3 Finley and I will join you for dinner someday. Darth Ox, Aaron Arnold, Mama Mander, B.
Raz, and Slutmaster J, Valen Real, the Tooth Fairy, the Notorious Trash Goat goes nom nom nom nom nom.

Speaker 3 They paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Porgatos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tenebras Tens, Taffel Tippers Treading Treacherously Tantamount to Telling Totalitarian Trope Termination Tales.

Speaker 3 Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck Naked.

Speaker 3 The lovely Laura Lovely, Jeremy the Ruler, Alex Church, Ahsoa, Goat She, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Joshua Soder, Gabba Ghoul, Scrubs Andy, Scratchy Kitty, Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Whiskered, Beth Annie, Sans Beth, Randy Spears, Marissa the Ghost, Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

Speaker 3 Brotherford B.

Speaker 3 Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester, Wolfgang the Incredulous, Andrea Rose, Cheshire Corgi, Ole Kelsey No Shoes, ShareBear17890, Zoldia, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana, Sasha the Wayfaring Himbo, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, Brought to You by Communism, Timothy A.

Speaker 3 Otis, Chance wants you to know he cares.

Speaker 3 Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Hobbes DeCoe, Alexis the Crusader, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Kirion, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Daydream, Angela Sanchez, Bubba485, aka Schimmelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Summelier, Space Rooster Randy, Roost Sinava's Booth, Stella Corvus, My Love of Verge is Undying, Candyman Fight, Sketchwolf, John Peters, You Know the Farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, ADHD Brulee, SCP-049, Oh, Magis, Michael Laurie, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Dominique Perry, Space-Based Lasers, Caption B and Lady G with their swabs.

Speaker 3 The Clockwork Fixen, Verge Fangirl and Designated Midnight Server, Ozneth the Author, Mr. Steamwave, My Friend the Rhino Says, Be Nice.
Meow!

Speaker 3 Meowth! Meow!

Speaker 3 Jupiter Defense Squad, Timmy Tim Tim, aka 2 Inches Proud, Elizabeth T, Gus, Kyler Wren, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman, Garot, Nick Gomez, Cold Blood, Our Cats Said to Tail You, Meow, Brian, Ed, and Kev, Del Casabro, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr.

Speaker 3 Frog, President, Pop Rock Quicksand, Call Me My Love Again, Abenasso, Mr. Rage, Ada, Spooky Spader, Storytime, Andy, I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Speaker 3 Lizarus, the McJimmies from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Ghoster Alagamo, Aaron Starr, Claude DeClaus, Chis Alfredge, the Bullheaded Professor, Chris John Da, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kay, Kay,

Speaker 3 Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, David Royal, Captain Hambone, King Felix Blaze of the Third Street Saints, Scotty Oates, Iced Heart on Fire, Dance Grounded Again, Damn Baby That Ass Tastes Like Straight Soup, Spiku, Nic Tac-Toe 2.0, Simply Tony, Gabriel Castellon, Jamie and the Goblin of Chaos, Whom, What?

Speaker 48 Why,

Speaker 3 Wigamores, and where are you, Billy Rose? I'm gonna- Goria would be disappointed in the way you say Gallo because it's like Pico DeGallo, but actually, it's Nico DeGallo Ghost Great.

Speaker 3 A dubious raptor, a drum major, and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar.

Speaker 3 Retorted, God is love, love is king, cash green, sir party animal, Huloy Jackal, cat with a K, Miss Shan Frizzle, Stompenstein El Mustachio, Luke for Hezekiah, Lachiwawa Brava, Cece Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Dulcet DeLeche, Zachary Langru, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Sad Angry Crabman, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Larry Fisherman, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzuki Yoki, Red Mafia Panda, Jean-Luc Gabot, Lonely Isle, Chris Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Sernoculus the Space Knight, Scrizzles, Thwap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Firekeeper, Peace Reaper, The End is Nigh!

Speaker 3 Jeremiah the Cancelled, Brian Collins, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West, The Sketch of Otaku Gang, Wolf, Drake Elias, Fermi's Paradoxans, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Short Sword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, A Diamond!

Speaker 3 David Chapman, C.J.

Speaker 3 Johnson, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Smivey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Danan Deb, The Soup Witch, Fetushini Alfredo, Amalgamous Pax, Pebbles, Princess V.

Speaker 3 V., Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Nick Bobro, Midnight Blumber, Mr.

Speaker 3 Cherry Loves Baby Bach Joy, Happy Anniversary, International House of Yearning, Danny the Cynical Warlock, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Ellie the Cosmic Janitor, Slev of Bahamut, Umbra Mesaram, Cam and Micah, Omi Gracie, Fred and George, Sam the Celestial, Ava Maddox Jr., Cassie Williams, Yeet My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Lizzie R., Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Speaker 3 Melt Wishes Everyone a Less Traumatic Than Expected 2025, Red the Gray, I Needed Someone to Make the TARDIS reference, Couch Potato Alex, Gregory the God of Chaos, sitting down to tea with the other beings of chaos, Never Child, Athanasios Nasir Shokat, Kiboko, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Jonathan Burton, Mr.

Speaker 3 Man and Lady, Joey B, DJK, DJK, Mixed Terran Van Edtinger, Sandalwood Mountain, Whimsical Fuckery. From your point of observation, Warranty Lady both has and has not had a successful bottom surgery.

Speaker 3 Thanks, Schrodinger.

Speaker 3 Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, Owen Sucedo, Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonay's Cat Butler, The Gentleman, O'Shin Liu, Alex Berry, Eden DePousset, Andrew Oakden, I only listened for the names at the end.

Speaker 3 Avalon, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat says, Everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack.

Speaker 3 Eliza Travels the Universe, Mike Anzavino, Lindsey Bowen, the goddamn podcast lawyer, Alex Spence, Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, I Hate Samores, Jay Harlow, Three-time Mungo Rodeo Champion, The Cosmos Cruising Cadillac, I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr.

Speaker 3 Caber Ant, Me as a Baby, Michael Odom, Zephyr McZero, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamolio, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Fish in a Bag, Cloudy Andy, Prime Freak, Walter Piakarsky, Droid Pirate Findly, and his Ruben-esque parrot, Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Drunken Coyote, The Impersonator Known as Tony Piakarsky, Adrian R., Phoenix, Kimber Derp, Mr.

Speaker 3 Timms, Dead Wait, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cremulous is just happy to be here, Kinetic Fox, the Twisted Twigster, Six Seasons in a Movie, Faye Queen, Chase Noseworthy, Core, Mason Jeffrey Showtime Hester, C.R.

Speaker 3 Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes? Two Vegetarians in a Toxic Relationship with Burger, CCTX Girl6823 waiting on the diner. Melissa Winskill, Nicole Studioso.

Speaker 19 Sign my show.

Speaker 3 A the Penguin just wants Verge and Deidre to be happy. A talking dog named Bronk.
Just a potato. Indigo Escargo.
Love My Captain. Joe Malma.
Castriff. Ames Affection for Internet Protection.
Retro MG.

Speaker 3 The Cowboy. Abby Kramer.

Speaker 31 Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Speaker 3 Lena banana phone.

Speaker 3 Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vittles, Not Sure What I'm Doing, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Scrambled Eggs, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Charlotte Tobiah, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White813, Good Grief People I Need to Breathe, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck.

Speaker 3 Oh, mamama, Drought Breaker, Glor of the Nar 7, Dooser likes no thinky, just Dewey, the other Adele. I named my cat Leaf and it made him an evil genius.
Chef Galval, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Mr.

Speaker 3 Arnie Arbuckle Sr., Sierra Nutt from Arkansas, Z Z-Goo, Ebenezer Boob. The world can be a swirling mess.
It can be a nightmare. But there's a table set just for you.
Anytime. Just for you.

Speaker 3 Caleb Tubiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Jake Cascade, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, The Milkman, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up. Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr.

Speaker 3 Me Pod, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Moe, Brian O'Neill, Edward Pena. I am Annie.
I live forever in every moment I've existed. I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

Speaker 3 The Stone Fox, Solivia, Kyle from Detroit, Juiciton, Marauder Mitch and Pandergast, Pepitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Speaker 3 Britwards, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, Tony Tony Tony, Toast, Sue Watts, Fickle Phil, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Mr.

Speaker 3 Triggvy, Printing with Cats, Riley, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, Amanda Noscarella, Jose Zettino, Sonny Stagg, a representative of the Pill Owls, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr.

Speaker 3 and Mrs. Oboe, Dusty Ventures, Ronnie Porter, Eagle Rock Lobster, Mary Like the Virgin, Rosetta.
The Phoenix Bird has brought Gabby Painter a kaleidoscope of mystic art.

Speaker 3 Wandering Wenjo, painted Oni, Qdell, Pharrell, Betty Hayes in the B-Team, Emily with two E's, Drousy Rousey, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?

Speaker 3 Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, D. Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, My Time Has Come.

Speaker 3 Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy Doing Crimes, Leopard Donut, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Scipio Duda, Buffy's Daughters, Emeric, Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Leleg, Tristan Stoles, Shadow Rapture, Hank the Wonderlama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Ibsen, What the Hell?

Speaker 3 Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 3 Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Tora Smash, the podcast for nerdy Jews, Axel, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Boys and Berry, aka The Boys, A Zeus, Anna Philaxis, Jack's Nightmare, Scav with Comtax, Kennan's girlfriend Brooke, The Kells, Catalina quit her first engineering job because Eat the Rich, Jenny on the Blockchain, Angry Leaf's Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Skexies, Randy Zamigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, I Said White Mountain Mountain Chimkin Nuggist, please sir, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naeonix Reno, Robert Frankenberry, Elden's Father, Mr.

Speaker 3 Smarty Pants, Honeybee, Nordlebash, Jordan, R1X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweisen, Monica and Mason K, Tony Wants to Be Lafe, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Timid Ghost 23, Zivia's Mom, Dr.

Speaker 3 Dr.

Speaker 3 B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, The Geneva Accords, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Your Humdigger Moonbringer, Letty Lou, Tibby.

Speaker 11 He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

Speaker 68 Kinger was here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr.

Speaker 3 Bebop says Armless Hunchback's face rings a bell. Warped Echoes, Lord Robert Otartis, he's bigger on the inside.

Speaker 3 Jeremiah Franco, Isaiah Coleman, Celestial Warlock, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Fossil Diver84, Micah Collins, Cody McClure, Eternal Champion, Jingalos, Hasmatilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Farting Fart Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

Speaker 3 Dobson, Going to Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Omega Nye, Frank in a Field, Sally Sells Seashells by the Seashore, Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Christina Sennett, I gather under the flag of the hag.

Speaker 36 Definitely not an android.

Speaker 3 Seriously, I'm not.

Speaker 3 The Wandering Welshman, whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, Scott Gygax, Glenn Morris, Crushable Hale53, Tequila Mockingbird, Damarin the Space Goblin, Locksmith Andy, Iso Pale, Bumblebeathany, Rose Alt, Hopeful Ghost, Nate the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it.

Speaker 3 My cat's name is Beef. Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Cassados, Emily Schmemele, Work for Melvis, Boho, Go Bye-bye for Jojo Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go, bro.

Speaker 3 Cody Monster, I am lure of the planet Omicron Percy I8.

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Speaker 3 Pamela Rose Eltierra, Vinstina Says, Nicole DG, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrels, Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love is for the Nyerds, Taz Hernandez, It's Just Tyson Now, Joe is the Writer's Room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Estelle, Kim Sell, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, It's Just Steve, Sweets, Shar Noble610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Ba-da-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-da-doo-da-da-da-din-bar,

Speaker 3 Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoomples, Fernwood Gal, Twinkle Tots, Shocking Developments Nearby, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Mike Laclusi, Dex,

Speaker 3 it's a fucking dog rapture. Abigail Lahoo, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Batty Bat,

Speaker 3 Matt N, Julia Krinklin, Frelp, M.

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Speaker 3 Hold it now,

Speaker 28 hit it!

Speaker 3 Oh no, you actually hit it. You've incurred the wrath of the Society of Bethanies.

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Speaker 3 Dr. Lattice Trash Angel hits it and coughs up a lung.
Oh no, the asthma. Noble Barrel.
Yes, my brain is weird. Thank you.
Bibbity Babbity Boom. Megan the Meg Young.
Baby Bears Love the Diner.

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Speaker 3 Anthony, J.

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Speaker 3 Mossy would come up with a cool name, but sadly she's just Mossy.

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Speaker 3 Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, The Green Street Major, Dr. Puntgusher Esquire has the finest baby moat that money can buy so he can keep the cats separate.

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Speaker 3 Your favorite Kenny. Terry.
PJ says what? Danielle L. Shiny Melon Fear Now.
Blargo Blargo Blargo. Tonight at 11.

Speaker 3 Ilate Raul. Hicks Bezi Mates.
Zealous Pragma. Tuba Rick.
Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk. It's just Blake.

Speaker 3 Alice Malice asks, how many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 3 Sircat Dad, Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Shadni Ashra, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Broccoini, Ava, No Not That Ava, the one with an

Speaker 3 Grimm, Zachy Nat, Underwater Corvette, Spizzerington, Michael Christian, Ransom, Rune Maisalil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keonu Mysen, Fiona Malisey, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 3 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Call Me Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, India Holbert, the esteemed throat goat, Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Neo DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Justine Burbank, Ingie the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 3 I love how much laughing happens when I leave.

Speaker 9 That's always encouraging.

Speaker 3 Just keeping the ball in the air, baby.

Speaker 3 And you know, we're going to have Brody in a bit of season five as well. So hopefully we can.

Speaker 60 Nice.

Speaker 89 I can't.

Speaker 42 Brown now.

Speaker 79 Make this.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Maria likes that.

Speaker 60 I'll make sure I'm wash my blankets before that.

Speaker 9 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 12 Wash them blanket.

Speaker 3 Mayonnaise, lots of mayonnaise.

Speaker 3 We will now do a Susie pause.

Speaker 3 Just mayonnaise.

Speaker 80 Just a wall of Hellmans.

Speaker 47 A wall of Hellmans.

Speaker 3 The great wall of Hellmans.

Speaker 3 Just looks like that upper shelf in Jimmy John's.

Speaker 3 I just imagine him smiling so baby.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just looking around and like, I got this.

Speaker 19 I'm in my element.

Speaker 29 Thank you. Thank you for doing the pitch.
And Finley, thank you for surprising us with your presence here.

Speaker 9 Sorry that it startled me. So I'm like, why is Finley here?

Speaker 17 Just rock here.

Speaker 9 Just rock here. Okay.

Speaker 39 It's the effect I have on everyone, including my mother.

Speaker 9 So it's fine.

Speaker 30 I really thought Fiona was going to die. This is so cool.

Speaker 3 You thought she was going to die?

Speaker 9 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 21 Because last episode, I say something, something, and then Tita says, that kind of thinking will get you killed. And then I go, I know.
And I thought that was Chekhov's, I know.

Speaker 3 No, that was just mine.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 17 So none of you guys ever ask what's going to happen to you.

Speaker 15 Huh?

Speaker 23 I'm a little afraid to.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 35 Because I feel like, I don't know, I feel like Labuza is somewhat of a tragic character, and I feel like she's heading towards some sort of tragic end.

Speaker 24 But I don't know if I want to know.

Speaker 3 I feel like everybody's always treating me like I'm George R. R.
Martin.

Speaker 9 Wow.

Speaker 9 Wow.

Speaker 33 Justice for Betty.

Speaker 9 Who is that? Look at what you're doing.

Speaker 13 Kill Betty.

Speaker 15 And Malu.

Speaker 13 Yeah, Malu.

Speaker 87 Justice Look at the anxiety that you're that you're um instilling in your actor, even older Laif.

Speaker 3 Okay, so out of like a whole bunch of characters, like three of them, John Wilkes Booth, we're gonna turn

Speaker 17 Wilkes booth.

Speaker 9 Minsky, what's forgetting about Minsky?

Speaker 40 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Speaker 4 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's a simple truth.
No matter who you are, mental health challenges can affect you, and how you manage them can make all the difference.

Speaker 4 That's why everyone should have access to mental health support that meets them where they are and helps them get through. BetterHelp provides online therapy on your schedule.

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