Welcome to the Horizon Part 9: The Mountain

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Speaker 4 There was a surprising amount of orthodoxy when it came to xenobiology in the triad.

Speaker 4 For a very long time, the only version of life scientists were willing to talk about was the same model we're all used to.

Speaker 4 Organic compounds in, waste out, all of that fueling a centralized neural cluster. Now, never mind that there were already examples that contradicted that model.

Speaker 4 You're in the same room with one of them right now.

Speaker 5 Hi, there.

Speaker 4 Maybe inside the central brain, like you do, but further down the abdomen are two sub-brains that help coordinate the additional appendages and can take on additional workload in times of high demand.

Speaker 4 Octopuses on your planet are the same way. But the orthodoxy continued on for many a cycle, and any xenobiologist who dared to challenge it was summarily sent to the fringes of the science.

Speaker 4 It wasn't until an unauthorized treatise written by a xenobiologist known only as The Gentleman began to circulate through the community that minds began to change.

Speaker 4 In the treatise, it's proposed that there was a viable alternative to the organics in, organics out model. It was called the energy accumulation model.
Energy is everywhere to be harnessed.

Speaker 4 It need not be through biological processing that complexity be achieved. It reads: Here we stand, my fellows, with advancements our ancestors could not dream of.

Speaker 4 And still, life, the simplest thing, the most prevalent, the most mysterious.

Speaker 7 Holy fuck, Elden, this is lovely, but can we move it along a little?

Speaker 4 The gentleman suggested a life form that was simply an accumulation of energy, no real physical form except for a simple locus around which the energy could coalesce.

Speaker 4 As the energy accumulates, complexity is achieved and sentience emerges. It was all theoretical for years, but then, one day, in an unexplored arm of triangulum,

Speaker 8 There they were.

Speaker 4 The orbis.

Speaker 4 A core of energy surrounded by a crystalline shell. They hovered wherever they went, communicated telepathically, and sustained themselves by absorbing ambient cosmic radiation.

Speaker 9 Nicest people you'll ever meet.

Speaker 10 Yes, they are quite lovely.

Speaker 11 We're.

Speaker 12 They're.

Speaker 13 orbs.

Speaker 5 Correct.

Speaker 4 They're a strange race and very rare, but, you know,

Speaker 8 that's triangulum.

Speaker 7 What does this have to do with me?

Speaker 4 Life, as we know it, takes many forms.

Speaker 4 All of them valid.

Speaker 4 It doesn't sound to me like you've been cursed or turned into some sort of abomination by your encounter with this woman, Clementine.

Speaker 4 It sounds as though she, unwittingly, created a new form of life and placed you inside the prototype.

Speaker 7 I liked being human.

Speaker 4 We all strive toward the familiar, Frank. It's understandable, but if I may be so bold, I think you'll come to enjoy this new shape you're in.
You get to test drive a new form of life.

Speaker 4 It's a rare rare privilege.

Speaker 7 A form of life that was created accidentally.

Speaker 4 That describes most forms of life, even your former species. A chain of proteins makes a wrong turn one day and the primordial lose.

Speaker 4 Next thing you know, they're walking around having existential crises all day.

Speaker 7 I don't want to be an orb, Elden.

Speaker 4 I'm not suggesting you're an orb, Frank.

Speaker 13 I eat breakfast in the morning like everyone else.

Speaker 4 And I think you should continue to do that. We don't know exactly how you work yet.
It's going to take some time.

Speaker 4 We know spores have no effect on you. We know you're not sleeping.
We know you can somehow survive a fall of about a hundred meters.

Speaker 4 But there's much more to learn. I'll monitor you, take notes.

Speaker 16 It'll be fun.

Speaker 9 Oh, I think your glee is kind of freaking him out, Elden.

Speaker 4 Yes, I'm sure it is. We're making history here, Frank.
You're going to appear in journals all over three galaxies. You're going to be a celebrity.

Speaker 9 I don't think that's a plus for him, Elden.

Speaker 5 It is not. Very well.

Speaker 4 We'll keep it all between us for the time being, and I won't share any data until you say so.

Speaker 5 Fair enough? Fair enough. There's

Speaker 6 no rulebook for this, Frank.

Speaker 16 But look, look around.

Speaker 9 There's no rulebook for any of this bullshit.

Speaker 7 The two of you are acting like I just found out I'm colorblind or something. This is a little bigger than that.

Speaker 4 Well, we don't have much to offer you other than what I've said, Frank. Verge is right.

Speaker 4 There's no rulebook for this, but we do know that all of this hootinanny is related to an encounter with Midnight Burger.

Speaker 4 Now, we don't know a lot about Midnight Burger, but it did take up residency in the Triad recently and stirred up all sorts of trouble, so we know more now than we did before.

Speaker 4 Wherever that thing goes, very strange things happen. You're one of them.
But we've yet to see it have a negative effect on anyone it encounters. Pay attention to yourself.

Speaker 4 Take it slow, and we'll know more every day.

Speaker 9 But, Frank,

Speaker 9 you need to tell June.

Speaker 4 Yes, speaking of glee that will make you uncomfortable, I do think it's time to tell June.

Speaker 21 Yeah,

Speaker 7 yeah, I know.

Speaker 7 Where is she right now?

Speaker 12 She is.

Speaker 12 Hmm.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 8 One moment.

Speaker 7 Elden.

Speaker 4 June can't be located.

Speaker 7 What?

Speaker 4 I'm not getting a signal from her phone.

Speaker 7 Did she forget to charge her phone again?

Speaker 6 Fun fact.

Speaker 4 Even when your phone is off, I can track you.

Speaker 7 She just disappeared?

Speaker 20 Well.

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 4 Elden. Frank, this is going to upset you, but I have said before that your phones are very insecure.
And this means

Speaker 4 that I am constantly monitoring everyone in town and keeping detailed records on their whereabouts and

Speaker 4 all of their conversations.

Speaker 18 Are you fucking kidding me?

Speaker 4 In my defense, this is how Virgin and I always operate. I need to be aware of our surroundings at all times.

Speaker 9 I'm not spying on people, Frank. Elden's only allowed to tell me things that affect my personal safety.
Everything else is in the vault.

Speaker 5 That's correct.

Speaker 4 Only when it's a matter of life and death.

Speaker 8 Oh, or funny.

Speaker 4 Yes, there have been some funny bits that I've shared. Did you know that Edgy Steve enjoys opera?

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Uh,

Speaker 7 Elden, we are going to have a very broad conversation about this very soon, but can you tell me what's going on with June?

Speaker 4 Please. One moment.

Speaker 8 Let me compile compile a narrative from the data.

Speaker 4 Aha.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 14 what?

Speaker 4 June wanted to cheer up Deidre, so they decided to procure some alcohol and head over to Deidre's house to come up with some design ideas for when she moves back in.

Speaker 4 Okay. This very quickly turned into the two of them becoming inebriated.

Speaker 14 Expected.

Speaker 4 And June unveiling a theory that she knows where the quote secret military base is.

Speaker 4 Oh, Jesus Christ, and the two of them driving to its alleged location,

Speaker 4 where they then disappeared.

Speaker 7 What disappeared? Yes, disappeared

Speaker 7 in an explainable way.

Speaker 4 I believe so, yes.

Speaker 9 What's the explanation, Elden?

Speaker 4 It's obviously the secret military base.

Speaker 7 There's really a secret military base?

Speaker 4 Well, secret is a strong word. None of you knew it was there.
Seriously? It's right there, Frank.

Speaker 7 I have never seen anything that suggests a secret military base. I grew up here, Elden.

Speaker 4 It's giving off all sorts of frequencies. You never heard any strange sounds on your radio?

Speaker 20 Yes, of course, yes.

Speaker 7 But I thought they were just radio sounds.

Speaker 4 They are radio sounds, Frank. Radio sounds from the secret military base.

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 12 God damn it.

Speaker 7 And what? They're being held there now?

Speaker 4 I would imagine so. Their phones have most likely been put in some sort of frequency-blocking container.

Speaker 14 How the hell have they been hiding a military base in town?

Speaker 4 It's not in town technically, about three kilometers around the mountains.

Speaker 7 What are they doing there?

Speaker 4 I could tell you, but I'd have to hack into their mainframe. That sort of thing requires permission.
Right.

Speaker 7 Of course. I give you permission.

Speaker 12 Not from you.

Speaker 5 Do it.

Speaker 18 One moment.

Speaker 4 Hello, military firewall.

Speaker 4 Goodbye, military firewall.

Speaker 5 And.

Speaker 5 Aha.

Speaker 4 It's not categorized as a base, but rather a listening station. This nation's government has them placed in strategic places all over the country, in, quote,

Speaker 14 areas of interest.

Speaker 9 What do they do to intruders?

Speaker 4 I'm afraid intruders are at the mercy of the United States military.

Speaker 9 And that entails?

Speaker 4 It depends entirely on what they have and haven't witnessed there at the station. If they've witnessed top-secret operations, something is enacted called Operation Quick Wash.

Speaker 10 Would you like a description?

Speaker 5 Nope.

Speaker 9 Frank, stay here.

Speaker 7 Let's go, Elden.

Speaker 20 Wait, where are you going? Stay here.

Speaker 20 Hello, Frank. I'm in your phone again.

Speaker 12 It's still terrible in here. Would you mind if I made some changes to your firmware?

Speaker 7 Yep, yes. Yes, I would mind.

Speaker 12 All right.

Speaker 23 Hey, Frank, call me when you get this.

Speaker 24 Is anything going on?

Speaker 24 I just had the strangest dream.

Speaker 5 Call me,

Speaker 24 he's gonna love that.

Speaker 24 Hmm,

Speaker 24 what

Speaker 24 are you telling me?

Speaker 5 Oh, uh, drinking?

Speaker 24 Oh, hey, Doug.

Speaker 25 Huh?

Speaker 25 What are you doing out here?

Speaker 5 I'm not sure.

Speaker 24 I had a very strange dream.

Speaker 21 What are you doing out here?

Speaker 26 Oh, just closed up shop.

Speaker 8 Anything going on?

Speaker 16 Um,

Speaker 16 no, no, not really.

Speaker 25 It's been a quiet night. It's been nice.

Speaker 26 Oh, oh, Hazelie J came by and bought a bunch of deer repellent, and she just said, I've got them on the run.

Speaker 19 Whatever that means.

Speaker 27 Okay.

Speaker 24 I think I need to go to the Glade of Wishes.

Speaker 5 Okay. Um,

Speaker 5 do

Speaker 25 you need a ride?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 28 I think I need to walk.

Speaker 5 Oh, okay.

Speaker 24 Would you come with me?

Speaker 16 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 28 Thanks.

Speaker 23 I can't believe I let you talk me into this.

Speaker 29 I don't know, Deidre. I'm feeling pretty triumphant right now.

Speaker 23 We're prisoners, June.

Speaker 29 Of the secret military base that nobody believed was here. Huge win for us.

Speaker 23 I can't believe you were right about this.

Speaker 29 That's right, Deidre.

Speaker 29 Like most visionaries, they called me insane, but look at me now.

Speaker 23 Yeah, exactly. Look at you now.
A prisoner.

Speaker 29 They can lock me up, but they can't lock up the truth.

Speaker 23 Deidre. June.
June, I think your plan to cheer me up has failed.

Speaker 29 Nonsense, you're having a great time. I'm not.
You know what we need? We just need a couple of drinky poos to get us nice and centered. Hey!

Speaker 29 Where's the beverage service in here?

Speaker 29 Kind of an establishment are you running?

Speaker 29 Exactly.

Speaker 23 I really thought I was going to have a day where nothing fucked up happened.

Speaker 29 I know, Deidre, but be honest.

Speaker 29 If nothing fucked up happened, wouldn't you just be a little bit bored?

Speaker 20 No.

Speaker 17 A tiny bit. No.

Speaker 30 Just a little bit.

Speaker 5 June.

Speaker 31 Deidre.

Speaker 17 This is gonna be great.

Speaker 29 They're going to ask them some questions and then let us go. We jumped over a fence.
Big deal. Damn.
I wish Celeste was here

Speaker 29 to see this. She was the only other one who believed in the military base.

Speaker 11 Celeste.

Speaker 23 Celeste. Who no one has seen.

Speaker 22 For weeks.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 23 Who also thought there was a secret military base?

Speaker 20 Oh my god. Oh, they have Celeste.

Speaker 29 She's been gone for weeks for weeks.

Speaker 14 How long are they going to hold us here?

Speaker 29 We're not leaving here without Celeste, you bastards!

Speaker 27 Could you both sit down, please?

Speaker 29 Who are you? What's your deal?

Speaker 27 My name is Private Deborah Kennedy, and you're both in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 23 I suggest you sit down.

Speaker 30 Oh, God.

Speaker 29 Oh, God. Listen here, Deborah.

Speaker 29 You're the only one who's in a lot of trouble. You can't just operate a secret military base without telling anybody.

Speaker 27 Not telling anybody is the key factor in operating a secret military base.

Speaker 14 Don't get smart with me, Debbie.

Speaker 27 Please don't call me Debbie.

Speaker 23 Private, we're very sorry. Very sorry.
And we're going to answer all your questions.

Speaker 23 I swear, we didn't mean to end up here.

Speaker 30 Good.

Speaker 27 Full names, please.

Speaker 23 Deidre Peppercorns.

Speaker 5 Jude!

Speaker 31 I'm sorry.

Speaker 29 I just keep forgetting that's your last name.

Speaker 23 That's always been my last name. I know.
I just

Speaker 22 Debbie, there's this guy.

Speaker 29 He owns half the town. And Deidra is his granddaughter.
And a sor- Sorry.

Speaker 29 I just forget the connection.

Speaker 27 This is one Theo Alex Dean Johansson peppercorns.

Speaker 29 I'm sorry, what?

Speaker 17 Yes, yes, that's his full name.

Speaker 31 TJ

Speaker 29 is Theo Alex Dean Johansson peppercorns?

Speaker 23 You knew that.

Speaker 29 No, I didn't.

Speaker 29 If I had known that, I would have been laughing for my entire life.

Speaker 29 How did it end up being TJ?

Speaker 23 I guess because T-A-D-J peppercorns sounds funny.

Speaker 29 Anything sounds funny when you put peppercorns at the end of it.

Speaker 17 That's my name. and it's funny excuse me your full name uh i'm sorry uh c r it did

Speaker 23 you're clearly just spelling the word cryptid well god forbid somebody have a funny name around here oh my god please just tell her your name she already knows my name she took her ids remember i'm checking for known aliases if you have to ask it's not a known alias is it

Speaker 27 ladies this is your one opportunity to convince us you're not here for nefarious purposes. I suggest you take advantage of it.

Speaker 23 We're very sorry.

Speaker 29 I'm not sorry. She doesn't speak for me.
Deirdre, come on. Gotta play hardball with these people.

Speaker 27 You have literally zero bargaining power right now. You were both caught trying to break into a military facility.

Speaker 23 I swear,

Speaker 23 that's not what we were trying to do.

Speaker 22 That's right. We weren't trying.

Speaker 29 We succeeded, Debbie.

Speaker 29 We broke into your little treehouse. Just a couple of broads on a bender.
How's that feel?

Speaker 23 Oh, God.

Speaker 20 I give up.

Speaker 29 Where's Celeste, Debbie?

Speaker 27 We're not holding Celeste.

Speaker 22 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 29 Why is that? Because you already transferred her to Guantanamo Bay? Private.

Speaker 23 Can you please tell us what we can do to fix this? We really didn't mean any harm.

Speaker 5 You know, Celeste...

Speaker 29 Was just a misguided little weirdo, and you took her away from us and stowed her god knows where. And you should be ashamed of yourself, private Debbie.

Speaker 30 You're dismissed, private.

Speaker 23 Celeste?

Speaker 30 Deidre.

Speaker 23 Celeste, what are you wearing?

Speaker 30 A uniform, Deidre.

Speaker 30 Yeah, why? Because I'm in the military.

Speaker 22 Since when?

Speaker 30 Since I was 18 years old, June.

Speaker 23 Celeste,

Speaker 29 you need to absolutely get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 30 I'd prefer Sergeant Major Yose, if you don't mind. I mind!

Speaker 23 Celeste, you...

Speaker 23 You're in charge of this place.

Speaker 30 Yes, I am, Deidre.

Speaker 30 But...

Speaker 23 You were always saying you suspected a secret military base was nearby. That's correct.

Speaker 15 But you've been...

Speaker 30 running it?

Speaker 29 You've been a double agent this whole time. You sneaky little snot.
Also, respect. It's pretty impressive.

Speaker 30 It's standard psyops, Deidre. When you want to discredit an idea, you plant someone on the inside that makes the idea look ridiculous.

Speaker 30 Nobody took me seriously in town, so when I talked about a secret military base, they instantly dismissed it. I didn't!

Speaker 29 I didn't fall for it, Celeste. and look at me now.
All your bases are belong to me.

Speaker 30 That's true, June.

Speaker 16 Congratulations.

Speaker 30 Thank you. That did just help me, though.
Nobody takes you seriously either.

Speaker 23 How dare you? Celeste, so all this time,

Speaker 30 you living in town has just been a big lie.

Speaker 30 I'm afraid so, Deidre.

Speaker 23 Celeste, I... I helped you paint your living room one time.

Speaker 23 You You were a part of this town. You've been lying the whole time?

Speaker 31 Deidre.

Speaker 23 We threw a birthday party for you at the Sheep's Eye.

Speaker 30 Yes, I understand that.

Speaker 14 Celeste, do you see what you've done?

Speaker 29 Do you see

Speaker 29 how you've hurt poor Deidre over there? Deidre, I...

Speaker 30 I did live there. That was my home.
It is.

Speaker 30 It was just...

Speaker 30 When you thought I was at home all day watching daytime television, I was just here.

Speaker 22 At the secret military base.

Speaker 30 At the secret military base.

Speaker 23 Being a big fat liar.

Speaker 29 It's a secret military base. Not anymore.

Speaker 23 But you disappeared a few weeks ago. What happened?

Speaker 30 I'm afraid I can't talk about that.

Speaker 5 Whatever.

Speaker 30 Hang on. I said not to disturb me here.

Speaker 12 Hey, Celeste. I'm over at your house right now.
Thought I'd check up on you. I brought your mail in.
It was really piling up. When do you think you'll be heading back?

Speaker 30 Frank, what are you doing at my house?

Speaker 5 Frank. You know what?

Speaker 12 I can see that you're busy. I'll catch you at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 17 What the fuck?

Speaker 32 Ma'am. What is it? We're getting several security alerts on the perimeter.

Speaker 30 God damn it, June. Who else is here?

Speaker 22 Nobody, June.

Speaker 29 Maybe it's raccoons in your garbage cans again.

Speaker 28 Celeste.

Speaker 30 Take a security detail and sweep the perimeter.

Speaker 6 Yes, ma'am.

Speaker 5 Hello.

Speaker 12 Oh, hey, Celeste. Sorry.
One more thing. Do you think you'll be back before the first freeze? Yeah, I feel like I should leave the water running just a little bit, keep the pipes moving and all that.

Speaker 12 You don't want a burst water pipe. Water damage is a real thing.

Speaker 30 Frank, how did you get this number? You know what?

Speaker 12 Great. I'll just go ahead and turn the taps on a a little bit better safe than sorry.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Bye.

Speaker 30 What the hell is going on?

Speaker 11 Celeste!

Speaker 29 What the hell is all this about?

Speaker 29 Why the hell is there a military base on this stupid mountain?

Speaker 30 I'm afraid I can't divulge that.

Speaker 29 Come on, we're all friends here.

Speaker 21 Or at least we thought we were.

Speaker 29 Until we found out you were a big fat liar.

Speaker 30 I suggest you stay focused on getting out of the mess you've gotten yourself into.

Speaker 29 Oh, suggestion. Is there a suggestion box? I'd like to make a suggestion.
I suggest

Speaker 29 that Celeste stop being such a lying fraud.

Speaker 30 Sergeant Major Yo. Celeste.

Speaker 29 I would rather re-watch the Phantom Menace than call you Sergeant Major.

Speaker 23 Wait, she said that she was in town to throw us off the the trail yeah which means that everything she said in town about the secret military base was the true thing that she didn't want us to know deir

Speaker 23 you're a damn genius what did she say she said it was a listening station you did you said it was a listening station i did

Speaker 30 you agreed with her you you did she did you did i can't divulge what goes on here ma'am what is it

Speaker 32 There's.

Speaker 30 What is it?

Speaker 32 We're not seeing anything on the perimeter.

Speaker 31 Okay.

Speaker 32 But I think I keep hearing something.

Speaker 30 Hearing what?

Speaker 30 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Alright.

Speaker 30 Cut the floodlights and switch to night vision goggles.

Speaker 32 Yes, ma'am. Cutting the floodlights.

Speaker 29 Frank!

Speaker 12 God damn it. Grass is getting a little long over here, Celeste.
So, do you want me to get our landscaping guy over here? He can take care of it, no problem.

Speaker 6 Frank, get out of my house.

Speaker 5 Oh, 100%.

Speaker 15 He's coming by Tuesday, so I'll tell him to take a look.

Speaker 32 Night vision goggles on.

Speaker 14 Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 Where is it? Over there.

Speaker 5 Private, report.

Speaker 30 What is happening?

Speaker 20 Give me the radio.

Speaker 5 Private?

Speaker 12 Put Deidre on.

Speaker 30 Who is this?

Speaker 12 Put Deidre on, or I start getting really creative out here.

Speaker 30 Who is this?

Speaker 23 Verge, I'm fine.

Speaker 11 I'm okay.

Speaker 12 Are you sure?

Speaker 23 They're just asking us questions.

Speaker 23 I'm fine.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 23 Verge, um, the guards?

Speaker 12 They're fine.

Speaker 23 Good.

Speaker 29 I'm fine too, by the way.

Speaker 30 Who is this and what have you done to my men?

Speaker 5 Hello?

Speaker 29 Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it, ladies, the that was hot, right?

Speaker 14 Who's with me?

Speaker 29 I feel like it's book club night and the first 50 Shades book just came out.

Speaker 30 Anybody?

Speaker 12 Frank. Hey, Celeste, real quick.
Hot water heater. What are we thinking?

Speaker 5 On, off.

Speaker 12 Just when are you due back in town? Frank.

Speaker 12 Hey, also wanted to let you know. I got you some new trash cans.

Speaker 30 Frank, how the hell did you get this number?

Speaker 12 I'm old school, Celeste.

Speaker 12 I let my fingers do the walking.

Speaker 30 We're doing very sensitive work here, Frank. This isn't a joke.

Speaker 8 Celeste,

Speaker 12 you being in charge of a top-secret military base is absolutely a joke. I mean, I'm still working on the punchline, though.

Speaker 30 It's Sergeant Major Yost.

Speaker 20 Oh, bada-bang!

Speaker 30 There it is!

Speaker 29 Do you have any idea how many federal laws you're breaking right now?

Speaker 12 I don't, I don't, but I am breaking some local ones, too. Breaking and entering, for example.

Speaker 14 Why the hell are you in my house?

Speaker 12 Well, you've been missing for weeks, Celeste. I wanted to make sure you were okay.

Speaker 12 I'm fine. Are you sure?

Speaker 30 Frank, get out of my house.

Speaker 12 Here's what I don't understand.

Speaker 12 You live here for years,

Speaker 12 pretending to be an old kook living up on the mountain.

Speaker 4 But then, the past few weeks, you've been gone.

Speaker 12 Vanished without a trace.

Speaker 12 So what's up, Celeste?

Speaker 30 What part of very sensitive work did you not understand?

Speaker 8 Wait, you know what?

Speaker 12 Never mind.

Speaker 12 I'll just ask my man here.

Speaker 15 Military site 2626. Code named Happy Goat Station.
Was recently put under an order 33, or hurry up and wait order, directing all sites to stock provisions and garrison personnel until further notice.

Speaker 5 Who was that?

Speaker 12 Happy Goat Station. Oh, fuck.
What kind of name is that? What happened to cool names like Ice Station Zebra?

Speaker 30 Frank, if you are hacking into our databases.

Speaker 12 What, Celeste?

Speaker 12 What's going to happen? The military is going to come and sweep us up?

Speaker 30 You think they won't?

Speaker 12 Celeste, if that place you've been hiding yourself truly is a listening station, then I imagine you've been hearing some pretty strange things lately.

Speaker 12 Chinese parades?

Speaker 12 Laser gun shootouts? Oh, my new favorite one is the four-story plant eater wandering around.

Speaker 12 Elden, what's it called?

Speaker 15 A mongo.

Speaker 4 A mongo.

Speaker 12 We've got a mongo now.

Speaker 22 I can't believe I missed the mongo.

Speaker 12 All of this is happening and not a peep from Uncle Sam. I mean, I feel like you guys would have shown up already, especially since you're listening right around the corner.

Speaker 12 So what's going on, Celeste?

Speaker 30 What do you want me to do here, Frank?

Speaker 12 I want you to load June and Deidre into one of those fun jeeps of yours and meet me in the town square.

Speaker 30 I'm under orders here, Frank.

Speaker 12 Yeah, right. So, uh, when was their last communication from Central Command?

Speaker 15 Their last communication from Central Command was weeks ago when they received the hurry-up and wait order. They've heard nothing since.

Speaker 4 That's odd.

Speaker 4 Boy, you guys must be going crazy out there.

Speaker 12 So, meet me in the town square in one hour, Celeste.

Speaker 12 I'm sure we've got lots to talk about.

Speaker 33 Your sausage mcmuffin with egg didn't change. You receipt it.
The sausage mcmuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just five dollars.

Speaker 33 Only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 18 Prices and participation may vary.

Speaker 5 So, um,

Speaker 6 what are you looking for, Drinket?

Speaker 21 I don't know.

Speaker 24 I usually come here when I need to clear my head or shift my perspective somehow

Speaker 24 or just make a wish.

Speaker 16 Really?

Speaker 24 Sure.

Speaker 24 I know it seems a little childish, but you need to put your intentions out there. You need to speak them out loud.
They can't stay locked up in your head. So,

Speaker 26 I mean, you just stand here and

Speaker 25 wish something.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 24 You want to give it a try?

Speaker 16 Oh, oh,

Speaker 26 no,

Speaker 26 I don't know.

Speaker 5 It's okay.

Speaker 24 It's always here if you need it.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 25 So, um, what was the dream you had? Oh,

Speaker 24 honestly, it was kind of stupid.

Speaker 24 It wasn't some sort of

Speaker 24 vision from the other side or anything.

Speaker 24 It was just very vivid. Like, I was really there.

Speaker 16 Where were you?

Speaker 24 I was...

Speaker 24 I was in my parents' camper van

Speaker 24 when... So when I was a little kid, I wasn't in school much.
I was homeschooled until middle school. My parents were always on the road with the fair.

Speaker 24 And the only thing that came close to a classroom for me was Sesame Street. They had a tiny portable television.

Speaker 21 And at 8 a.m.

Speaker 24 every morning, I would look around for PBS, and there it was. School.

Speaker 24 And that was the dream. It was just

Speaker 5 me.

Speaker 24 me watching Sesame Street. But it was crystal clear.
I can still see it in my head

Speaker 24 dreams fade but it's

Speaker 24 it's still with me right now

Speaker 24 and i don't know what to make of it

Speaker 28 which episode was it shave god's teeth hey y'all what what are you doing out here i'm out here all the time now i love it out here

Speaker 24 Do I want to know what you're doing out here?

Speaker 21 I'm just hanging out.

Speaker 10 I found a nice flat rock right here to rest my head on. And I just look up at the sky and think.

Speaker 10 Sometimes I bring a headphones.

Speaker 24 And sometimes you bring something else.

Speaker 18 It's a free country.

Speaker 21 What are y'all doing? I had a weird dream. Doug's trying to help me out.

Speaker 10 You had a dream about Sesame Street?

Speaker 24 Well, it wasn't about Sesame Street.

Speaker 24 I was watching Sesame Street in the dream.

Speaker 21 Right, yeah.

Speaker 10 Which episode?

Speaker 24 Steve,

Speaker 24 there's like a billion episodes of Sesame Street.

Speaker 10 What was in it?

Speaker 11 What was in it?

Speaker 5 Um,

Speaker 24 well, the usual stuff.

Speaker 8 I think they were in Hawaii.

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 The Hawaii episode.

Speaker 16 Oh, that was a good one.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 24 You remember the episode?

Speaker 16 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 25 Oh, it was a it was a special episode.

Speaker 16 They filmed the whole thing in Hawaii.

Speaker 10 Huge moment for Snuffleupagus lore in that episode.

Speaker 24 Steve, Snuffle Upagus lore?

Speaker 21 No, no, no.

Speaker 21 He's right. Check it out.

Speaker 10 Snuffle upagus is lonely on Sesame Street, right? He's wondering where all the other snuffle upages are. Or snuffle up a guy, which is it?

Speaker 25 Well, if snuffle up against a Greek root word, then it would be snuffle upaguses.

Speaker 28 Whatever.

Speaker 10 Snuffle upagus is lonely, and he hears that there's more snuffle upagees in Hawaii. So he goes to look for it.

Speaker 25 Yeah, right, right. And he looks.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 25 he looks the entire episode, but he never finds them.

Speaker 10 But he doesn't sweat it too much, because, in the end, he's got his family down on Sesame Street. Even though none of them think he exists.

Speaker 26 Oh, yes, we should remember. This is

Speaker 26 a pre-reveal episode, so everyone still thought that Snuffalupagus was Big Bird's imaginary friend.

Speaker 21 So there we are.

Speaker 10 At the end of the episode, Snuffalupagus laments,

Speaker 17 Oh well, I guess I'll never find any more of my people.

Speaker 10 He walks away, but the camera stays. And in those last moments, we focus on the volcanic mountain behind him.

Speaker 10 And we clearly see the mountain behind him is in the exact form of a giant snuffle upigus, the size of a mountain. Like a sleeping giant.

Speaker 21 What'll happen when he awakens one day?

Speaker 7 Jesus Christ, Steve. What?

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 24 Okay, something

Speaker 24 sleeping in the mountain.

Speaker 23 I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

Speaker 31 Oh, shit.

Speaker 10 No, Mount Hood is an active volcano.

Speaker 11 What if it's going to blow?

Speaker 25 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 26 It's a potentially active volcano, but it's been dormant for a few hundred years. And any eruption would be preceded by just years of earthquake swarms.
And it's been quiet out there for a long time.

Speaker 21 I love it when you're paranoise-informative, man.

Speaker 6 Thank you, Steve.

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 5 Steve,

Speaker 26 is this the stone you were resting your head on?

Speaker 25 Yeah, give it a try.

Speaker 24 It's a nice little spot. What is it, Doug?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 26 has anything ever been built in this glade?

Speaker 10 I don't think so.

Speaker 5 Why? Um.

Speaker 25 This stone is a square.

Speaker 28 It is? Yeah,

Speaker 6 you didn't notice it?

Speaker 21 No. Just laid my head down.

Speaker 24 Well, that's weird.

Speaker 10 You think there's something underneath?

Speaker 25 Well, it's probably left over from some construction a long time ago.

Speaker 24 I've been here a million times, and I can't believe I've never seen that.

Speaker 5 I'm turning it over.

Speaker 21 Ha!

Speaker 11 We discovered worms. There's writing on the back.

Speaker 16 There is?

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Do one of you have a light on your phone? Yeah.

Speaker 21 Hang on.

Speaker 21 It's carved into the stone. There you go.

Speaker 25 What language is that?

Speaker 5 None of them? None of them.

Speaker 7 You killed none of the guards?

Speaker 27 Zero, Frank.

Speaker 28 How'd you manage that?

Speaker 9 Oh, I've got no idea, Frank.

Speaker 30 You're all so fragile.

Speaker 6 Or perhaps, I should say,

Speaker 21 they're also fragile.

Speaker 7 Yeah, nope, let's not start with that.

Speaker 30 Humans, am I right?

Speaker 5 That's enough.

Speaker 15 Thank you.

Speaker 7 Okay, here she comes. Make yourself scarce.

Speaker 30 I'll be in the sheep's eye.

Speaker 23 Hi, Frank.

Speaker 30 Sorry.

Speaker 20 Sweet freedom. Well, um,

Speaker 7 I'll say this, June. You did take Deidre's mind off her problems.

Speaker 20 See there?

Speaker 29 I'm a solution factory over here, Frank.

Speaker 14 Sarge.

Speaker 30 Their little visit to the base wasn't officially logged in my report.

Speaker 30 They got lucky this time.

Speaker 7 Oh, well, that's very neighborly of you.

Speaker 30 Well, they're

Speaker 30 my neighbors. So,

Speaker 7 this whole time you've been pretending to be the town weirdo and then working at a secret military base?

Speaker 30 Frank, everyone who lives in this town is the town weirdo.

Speaker 29 Hard to argue with.

Speaker 7 What are you guys even doing there?

Speaker 30 That's classified.

Speaker 31 Uh-huh.

Speaker 30 What do you think we've been doing, Frank?

Speaker 8 Look around.

Speaker 7 No, so you've been there for years, Celeste, way before any of this weird bullshit started going on.

Speaker 30 Look, this

Speaker 30 area is of special interest to the United States military.

Speaker 30 I'm just going to leave it at that. Okay.

Speaker 7 Whatever.

Speaker 7 Whatever. Thank you for giving us back Deidre in June.

Speaker 30 I kind of had to, Frank.

Speaker 30 Apparently, you've employed a hacker and some sort of ninja.

Speaker 7 Yeah, about that. There has been a clown car of nonsense rolling through town constantly, Celeste.
Your bosses haven't said anything to you about this? I can't say.

Speaker 7 You're under a hurry-up and wait order, apparently. So you're supposed to just sit tight and wait for orders?

Speaker 7 How long have you been waiting, Celeste?

Speaker 30 We haven't heard from Command in

Speaker 5 a while. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You think they might be otherwise occupied?

Speaker 7 With what? I heard the Chilean military has been seizing observatories. Think it has anything to do with that?

Speaker 29 Wait, what is this, Frank?

Speaker 29 How come you haven't told me about any of this?

Speaker 7 I know. You have another bloody Mary, June.
You were a little too busy getting drunk and jumping over barbed wire fences, June.

Speaker 29 Was very little barbed wire.

Speaker 21 What's going on? Trinket.

Speaker 10 Look who we found.

Speaker 28 Celeste, why is she dressed like that? Celeste, what?

Speaker 23 Where have you been?

Speaker 21 Is he going to a costume party?

Speaker 14 Why does Doug have a big rock?

Speaker 22 Whose jeep is that?

Speaker 23 Does it have writing on it?

Speaker 30 Oh, oh, right.

Speaker 26 Can anyone read Chinese?

Speaker 15 Excuse me.

Speaker 5 Uh,

Speaker 9 it sounds like everybody's got a lot of questions.

Speaker 9 How about somebody open up the bar?

Speaker 14 Angle me a little higher, please.

Speaker 18 What is

Speaker 16 going on

Speaker 26 right now?

Speaker 18 Right now, right?

Speaker 4 I it's ancient Chinese,

Speaker 4 which makes it a bit tricky because of the flexible word functions. Also, whoever carved the characters into the stone was not exactly a craftsman.

Speaker 4 Essentially, it is a message from a man named Chu Fu.

Speaker 10 Who the hell is that?

Speaker 4 Well, if it's the same Chu Fu from historical documents, he was a legendary explorer.

Speaker 4 His emperor deeply feared death and sent him on a quest to find an elixir of immortality whose ingredients could only be found at the top of a legendary mountain named Heng Lai.

Speaker 4 This tablet is a message to his emperor.

Speaker 4 I will finally return from the mountain, though I have changed as much as the land around me.

Speaker 4 The mountain will be found again. The mountain will be lost again.

Speaker 5 Forever.

Speaker 29 Well, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Speaker 5 Hey.

Speaker 5 Hey.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry if that was a little

Speaker 9 too much tonight.

Speaker 9 I.

Speaker 9 I got worried.

Speaker 23 No, I felt.

Speaker 23 I felt a lot better when I heard your voice on the radio.

Speaker 23 I want to say something.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 23 I called you a liar the other day

Speaker 23 and

Speaker 23 I was sitting there in that room tonight with Celeste and she was just totally lying to us the whole time. And

Speaker 23 I guess

Speaker 23 just putting her in the same category as you felt a little wrong.

Speaker 23 You were just trying to stay alive. And I want you to know that

Speaker 23 I understand the position that you are in.

Speaker 21 I still don't feel right about it.

Speaker 28 I

Speaker 23 don't have a lot of secrets.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 20 Kind of an open book over here.

Speaker 16 You are.

Speaker 23 I imagine it must be kind of terrifying to tell someone who you really are.

Speaker 6 It really is terrifying, Deidre.

Speaker 23 I mean, I should have known.

Speaker 20 Look at you.

Speaker 27 Of course you fell from the sky.

Speaker 7 I have to say, I'm having a hard time seeing you as a person in charge of other people.

Speaker 30 It's true, Frank. A lot of people depend on my leadership.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That just sounds surreal.

Speaker 30 I didn't enjoy it, Frank. I didn't enjoy lying to all of you.

Speaker 7 Oh, well, I think you did a little bit.

Speaker 30 You know what, Frank?

Speaker 30 How long did it take you?

Speaker 10 What?

Speaker 30 To realize I was gone.

Speaker 30 How long did it take you?

Speaker 18 Uh-huh. It took a few weeks.

Speaker 30 Okay. Okay, so maybe enough with the smart remarks.

Speaker 7 Okay,

Speaker 7 I'm sorry.

Speaker 19 I'm sorry. We're all sorry.

Speaker 7 I mean, yes, yes, you were totally lying to us and apparently spying on all of us, but but yes, we were not very attentive to the completely fictional version of you that you created to deceive us all.

Speaker 30 Jokes on you, buddy.

Speaker 8 I'm taking that as an apology.

Speaker 7 So.

Speaker 10 What now, Celeste?

Speaker 7 We all know your secret.

Speaker 18 What are we going to do about it?

Speaker 5 Hell, I don't know.

Speaker 30 We'll just have to keep it a secret that you know our secret.

Speaker 7 We can do that.

Speaker 31 Good.

Speaker 30 Ma'am, what is it, Private?

Speaker 17 May I speak with you?

Speaker 30 Order me another. I'll be right back.

Speaker 7 Hey, do you want to take a roadie back for your stormtroopers?

Speaker 30 I might, Frank. Thanks for thinking of me.

Speaker 30 What is it?

Speaker 27 We've received orders from Western Command. Finally, where are they? I have them on the secure tablet here.

Speaker 5 Good.

Speaker 11 What the fuck, ma'am?

Speaker 30 It's been a strange night, private. But I'm afraid it's going to get even stranger.

Speaker 27 What do you mean, ma'am?

Speaker 30 Go back to the base and tell everyone there will be a debrief in one hour.

Speaker 27 You're not coming?

Speaker 17 I'll be along soon.

Speaker 30 I need to do something.

Speaker 11 What?

Speaker 30 Follow my instincts.

Speaker 30 Whoop!

Speaker 4 Sarge.

Speaker 7 What's the news? Are you planning a big Christmas party?

Speaker 30 Tell me something, Frank.

Speaker 7 Sure, what's that?

Speaker 30 Do the words wayfaring stranger mean anything to you?

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Speaker 18 This episode boldly beckons a bigger batch of brilliant binames, ruining a bubbling Bethany stew to broaden the best finale brew.

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Speaker 18 Flower, Kelly T. Arena, The Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Parmesan Goose, Jen Rhodes, Kevin Lutra, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Alan Berglund, Dylan Winslow, V.
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Speaker 18 I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you.

Speaker 18 Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mum, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Basil in their T, Keegan Diamond, Ron Hayden, Dan Gentry, Steven Duro, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox, Caption B and Lady G with their swabs.

Speaker 18 That's good, Gouda, the clockwork vixen, Ozneth the Author, Mr. Steamwave, My Friend the Rhino says, Be nice.
Hoop challenge.

Speaker 18 Jupiter Defense Squad, Leaf's Laser Saw, Elizabeth T, Gus, Kyler Wren, Coco Yumi, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman, Garot, Nick Nick Gomez, Coldblood, The Sayer of Ra, aka Bleepo Abernathy, Our Cats said to tell you, Meow, Lords Kev, Ed, and Brian of the House of Bros.

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Speaker 18 Lizarus, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Rebb, Alex Verr, Aaron Starr, Claude de Claus, Rachel Seymour, Chis Halfridge, the Bullheaded Professor, Bonjour, E. C.

Speaker 18 Alexandre Leroque, Le Canadien des Sépons Emotionale Officiale pour Midnight Burger. For this message in English, press 2.
Chris Janda, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kay,

Speaker 18 Another Mother, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, David Royal, Captain Hambone, King Felix Blaze of the Third Street Saints, Scotty Oates, Iced Heart on Fire, Dan's Grounded Again.

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Is Hold It Now, Holt It Now hid it a bit? Or a patron name? Gabriel, Jamie the Goblin of Chaos.

Speaker 20 Whoa!

Speaker 18 Nico DeGallo goes great on Midnight Burgers. A dubious Raptor.
A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Corinne's bar. God is love, love is king.
Cash green, Sir Party Animal.

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Speaker 18 David Chapman, C.J.

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Speaker 18 Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, Rain Rain, Owen Sucedo, The Big Moose, Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler, The Gentleman, Rest in Peace, Dear O'Sheen, Alex Berry, Eden DePoussay, I only listen for the names at the end.

Speaker 18 Avalon, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack.

Speaker 18 Eliza Travels the Universe, Mike Enzovino, Lindsey Bowen, The Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spence, Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, I Hate Some Ores, James Harlow, NecroPants, Salesman of the Year, The Cosmos Cruising Cadillac, I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr.

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Speaker 18 Kinger was here.

Speaker 18 Babbare Winland Jr., Bebop Bidaba Doo Wop, Warped Echoes, Lord Robert Otartis, He's bigger on the inside, Jeremiah Franco, Isaiah Coleman, Celestial Warlock, Gabby Hayes, my Wigglebutts, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Kiana Crow, Fossil Diver 84, Micah Collins, Cody McClure, Eternal Champion, Jingalos, Eris, the Goddess of Discord, Billy the Space Wizard, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

Speaker 18 Dobson, Going to Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Omega Nye, Frank and a Field, Sally Cell Seashells by the Seashore, Colorado Southpaw, Fuzzle McBumpernets, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Lux the Dragon, Christina Sennett, The Red Planet, The Incredulous Mahurgafergle, Definitely not an Android, seriously, I'm not.

Speaker 18 The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, Scott Gygax, Glenn Morris, Crushable Hale53, Tequila Mockingbird, Goose, Giga Goose, Dameron the Space Goblin, Locksmith Andy, ISOPE Hale, Rosalt, Hopeful Ghost, Nate the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it.

Speaker 18 Oh, Leas Cargo. Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy.
It's the Grand Chahi's birthday. Victor Cassados, Smiggs, Emily Shmemily, Work for Melvis, Von Grimm, Bohogo, Bye-bye for Jojo, Pogo.

Speaker 18 That's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster.
I am lure of the planet Omicron Percy I8. Kneel before your supreme ruler.

Speaker 18 The Gabber newspaper sounds like a ridiculous name, but they help protect democracy in Florida.

Speaker 18 Tybo, Miss Nixie, Baby Baiton Lee, Amber King, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, understands the assignment, Lil Stevie Pie, Return to Sender, Two Polar Cat will be back soon.

Speaker 18 In the meantime, take care of yourselves. War rages on, but the stars continue to shine.

Speaker 18 Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multidimensional, multiphasic, intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Nikki H., Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Young'un, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Super Califragilistic XB, Alex Nickel, Jimbo Jet, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Kelly W., Holly Hooten, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasian, Introducing Reese Pontiff as the 21st Doctor.

Speaker 18 Too many jams.

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Speaker 18 Alex Sir, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, Dr.

Speaker 18 Glass, Sweets, Char Noble, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Bada Birdie Baba Babo Babo Bembar, Beastly Death, Zven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Exponge, Ted Wasanasan, Virestria, Spoomples, Fernwood Gal, Twinkle Tots, Shocking Developments Nearby, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Hornswoggling Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, Dex, It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Windshimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Batty Bet, Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 18 Matt N, Julia Krinklin, Freilp, M Lin, Feed Ma Fish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Rekka Ayumu, Teds Loves Catherine, J Spark, Eevee Girl, Lucid Harbor, Little Lily Leopard Paws, Die at Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Macy Span Stand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, B.

Speaker 18 Hold it now, hold it now, hold it now, hold it now.

Speaker 19 Hit it!

Speaker 18 Musical brass hit sound effects. Hit it again, brass hit.
Hit it two times, two musical brass stabs. Hit it four more times, four brass hits.

Speaker 18 Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki Abear, Brad Menier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Crazed Bear, Evina Lub.

Speaker 18 It's a bird. It's a plane.
It's Dr. Lattice Trash Angel.
Get down from there. Yes, my brain is weird.
Thank you. Megan, the Meg, Young.
Baby Bears Love the Diner.

Speaker 18 Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Jane G, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Watcher, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and her prismatic chickens, Criddle, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vikatesh, McClump, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Dough Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Sir Shitzalot Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Sarah Maguire, Tonka 2005, Cruise and B.

Speaker 18 Anthony, J.

Speaker 18 Way Mythical, Tybalt I, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Tess Bart, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Talon Lawson, Freya Titmittens, Yet Another Courtney, The Fontucky Wrangler, Jessica Shelton, Screm Brulee, The Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yost, Stepon, Infinity Times Infinity, Noah and Katie, Joe R., Sarah Murphy, Justin at the Tree Cave, The Amburgler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simeoni, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Hot Plate of Biscuits and Gravy, Zehuniveda, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corinne Sabrantha, Kyle of Light, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, TNB Lemmy, Charmay, The Wondrous Methazophon, What Janica Said, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Flat Doug, Trinket Coral Lee, Deary Darling, Bookshift Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Cody C.

Speaker 18 Chisholm, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Jack Lane, Attired Pirate Muffin, Jay Snoosten, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Bruitt, Camel Pope, and Schuligan, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's Number One Fan, Amanda Marie Kathraine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Lola, Deli Cruise, Why'd you do this to us, Joe Fisher?

Speaker 18 Matt Mosby, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronaweeb, Starlight, Berserking Off, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Mossy would come up with a cool name, but sadly she's just Mossy.

Speaker 18 Lacockney Francaise, Virgo Aries, Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Ashley, a bug named Nat, Potato Nation, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Rusty Accord, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey. Dr.

Speaker 18 Ponkusher Esquire says if you are still holding it now for longer than four hours, contact your doctor immediately.

Speaker 18 But Jolanth, Lafe's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney Depona, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthonomaley, Meghan Mighty, Purple Saline, Miss Chris Still Making Sandwiches, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Vandal, Captain Blepp, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 18 Danielle L, Shiny Melon Fear Now, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, Tonight at 11,

Speaker 18 Ilotte Raul, Hicks Besymates, Disco Funkslinger, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, Princess Donut, The Queen Anne Chonk, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice asks, how many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 18 Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Broccoini, Ava, No Not That, Ava, the one with an

Speaker 18 Grim, Zekinat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzoringtom, Michael Christian, Ransom, Rune My Salil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Fiona Malisey, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 18 The Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Kara, Call Me Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, The Esteemed Throat Goat, Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Sona Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Satowichi, Justine Burbank, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Ruth McCormick, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially exhausted Bean.

Speaker 3 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Speaker 34 You want your master's degree. You know you can earn it, but life gets busy.
The packed schedule, the late nights, and then there's the unexpected. American Public University was built for all of it.

Speaker 34 With monthly starts and no set login times, APU's 40-plus flexible online master's programs are designed to move at the speed of life. You bring the fire, we'll fuel the journey.

Speaker 34 Get started today at apu.apus.edu.