Chapter 37: The Paradise

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Speaker 2 Cast members and avid cocktail makers Neil and Julie gave Shaker and Spoon a try.

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Speaker 6 I mean, I've got a pretty solid bar by most like home bar standards, but I don't like get things that they sent.

Speaker 6 Like I don't go out and buy black pepper walnut bitters and like cardamom bitters, and they had a bunch of spice syrups mixed up and stuff.

Speaker 2 Each box revolves around one type of liquor. So just add one bottle of liquor and you're ready to go.

Speaker 3 It's all very clear because everything's labeled and each cocktail has its own ingredient card or instructions card. So

Speaker 3 each one has its own recipe and like backstory and everything on a card. So yeah, it's all easy to figure out.

Speaker 2 They'll have everything you need,

Speaker 2 except for the egg.

Speaker 6 There are even two enormous lemons in there. There's actually fruit in there.
Lemons, fresh citrus. So the only thing we needed was booze and for one of the cocktails we needed an egg.

Speaker 6 They didn't send an egg, which I think is prudent.

Speaker 5 Good idea.

Speaker 2 You can learn new techniques while creating excellent craft cocktails.

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Speaker 6 And like, I'm checking the CVs on some of the people that they dropped, and they're like legit heavy hitters working at serious cocktail bars.

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Speaker 6 Oh, like our listeners. Yes.
And one of the cool things here is that

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Speaker 8 Like have you people over?

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Let's see what these are.

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Speaker 5 Previously on Midnight Burger, time for a good old-fashioned showdown with the feds.

Speaker 8 What does does that sound?

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 5 we're not doing that. We're just gonna...

Speaker 5 The river?

Speaker 8 Really?

Speaker 8 Okay, well.

Speaker 5 What else is going on? How's David handling the crazy cuckoo banana pants levels?

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 9 David left, huh?

Speaker 5 Oh, he just...

Speaker 5 He just left? We're just... We're just letting people leave now.
That's the thing we do.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Oh, look, he met a friend.

Speaker 5 Fucking bullshit. That's right.
David has an encounter with new fan favorite Christina the teleporting lawyer. Holy shit, I'm on the balcony.

Speaker 8 God damn.

Speaker 5 Wherein he realizes that helping people out with their weird science problems may be the family business.

Speaker 10 So what now? Shit.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 11 I need you to give me a ride.

Speaker 5 With the gang back together in Pasadena, everything's going to be fine as long as another moon doesn't appear in the sky.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit. There's two moons.

Speaker 5 Damn, should have seen that coming. Well, how are they going to get out of this one? It's not as though some Deus ex Machina is going to come out of nowhere and save them.

Speaker 8 The only way I can describe it is.

Speaker 5 We do what we want.

Speaker 5 Let's start the shift.

Speaker 8 There she is.

Speaker 8 Wow,

Speaker 9 look at this place.

Speaker 7 That is several hundred square feet of beaded aluminized vinyl. It's not a silver screen,

Speaker 7 but those can get a little glossy, in my opinion. It's a matte gray finish,

Speaker 7 not ideal for some films, but really gives a nice contrast for black and white movies.

Speaker 8 It's beautiful.

Speaker 7 When I first walked in, I said, they don't make them like this anymore.

Speaker 7 Didn't know how right I was.

Speaker 9 Start at the beginning.

Speaker 8 All right, then.

Speaker 7 Act one, establishing shot. Knoxville, Tennessee, 1981.

Speaker 7 We see a young man named Jeremiah Franco, 23.

Speaker 7 Rakish good looks, if you don't mind my saying.

Speaker 7 Jeremiah is on his way to work with a smile on his face. He is clean.
He is put together. He is smiling.
We see on his shirt he wears a name tag.

Speaker 7 Noah and Katie's grocery and supply. general manager.

Speaker 7 He looks far too young to be holding such an important position.

Speaker 9 Are you going to do this whole story like this?

Speaker 7 Apologies.

Speaker 8 Old habit.

Speaker 7 The young man is me.

Speaker 7 I had decided to skip college.

Speaker 8 I was a terrible student.

Speaker 7 and my parents had no intention of throwing good money after bad. So, it was off to the workforce for me.
The go-go 80s had just begun, and I'm ashamed to admit I was a bit of a true believer.

Speaker 7 Work hard, climb the ladder, get ahead.

Speaker 7 For some reason, I was applying all of that to working at a small, independent grocery store in Knoxville, and within just a few short years, I was the general manager.

Speaker 7 The titular Noah and Katie had retired, said enough to Tennessee, moved down to Florida, and started a weekly newspaper called The Gabber.

Speaker 7 Helping protect democracy in Florida.

Speaker 8 How's that going, by the way?

Speaker 9 Don't ask.

Speaker 8 So there I was.

Speaker 7 I was 23 years old, and I was the king of my little corner of the world.

Speaker 7 Up next, find a nice lady,

Speaker 7 have some nice kids, have a nice life.

Speaker 7 And then,

Speaker 7 one night, I had just closed up shop, and there was a knock on the glass.

Speaker 7 Two young men, younger than me even.

Speaker 7 One of them carried a portable movie projector.

Speaker 7 I thought I was a bit odd, but I unlocked the door and asked if I could help.

Speaker 7 Casey Howe and Brian Barletta were their names. They said they were making a movie.

Speaker 7 They had already shot half of it. and they had decided to go door to door to local businesses looking for investors to finish the rest of it.

Speaker 7 I was very confused.

Speaker 8 Movies? In Knoxville?

Speaker 7 That's not where people make movies.

Speaker 8 That happens in Hollywood.

Speaker 7 But these two young men had taken a few classes at Vanderbilt, and they had decided, hell with it. They were going to make a movie.

Speaker 7 I should have turned them away, but I had to see it.

Speaker 7 So I invited them inside, and we set up in the cereal aisle.

Speaker 7 They projected what they had shot on all those white cereal boxes.

Speaker 7 I'll never forget that.

Speaker 5 Those ghostly images dancing across the boxes of corn flakes.

Speaker 7 It was a terrible movie.

Speaker 7 It was about an entire inlet on Puget Sound that had been possessed by an evil spirit. Lucid Harbor, they called it.

Speaker 7 It was 47 minutes of footage and I was a changed man by the end of it.

Speaker 8 They had made something.

Speaker 7 They had just decided to make something and then there it was.

Speaker 7 They left the store that night with every penny in my bank account.

Speaker 7 They didn't know anyone in town.

Speaker 7 They were shooting nearby in La Follette, trying to make Norris Lake look like Puget Sound.

Speaker 7 And they were going door to door.

Speaker 7 But guess who knew everyone in town?

Speaker 7 In a few weeks, we had all the money they needed. Another month of principal photography.
And then it was done. We had made a movie.

Speaker 7 We took it to a horror film festival in Chicago that spring. We screened it in front of a crowd of 163 people.

Speaker 7 They hated it so much.

Speaker 8 By far the worst thing in the festival that year.

Speaker 7 But I watched the crowd watch the movie.

Speaker 11 They would laugh to each other.

Speaker 7 They would yell at the screen, throw popcorn.

Speaker 7 When the lights came up, nobody in that theater was a stranger. They had all had an experience together.

Speaker 7 It was like they all knew each other.

Speaker 7 By that time, the next day, we were already working on the next one.

Speaker 7 And that that was the next two decades of my life.

Speaker 7 I produced 53 films altogether,

Speaker 7 all of them outside the Hollywood system, all of them delightfully bad.

Speaker 7 Miss Nixie, the Space Princess, Shadow Rapture, Mr. Me, Myself, and I,

Speaker 7 The Madness of Dr. Dr.
B,

Speaker 7 and of course, my personal Lawrence of Arabia, Killer Zamboni.

Speaker 9 They all sound amazing.

Speaker 8 There's a right way to do a bad movie.

Speaker 7 It's an art in and of itself.

Speaker 9 And then?

Speaker 7 And then?

Speaker 7 The internet had just begun its slouch towards Bethlehem at the end of the 90s.

Speaker 7 The world was changing and I began to feel like a bit of a dinosaur. Kids in film school started having more production power on their desktop than I had in a whole warehouse.

Speaker 7 The world was demanding that I change with the times, and after a few years of giving it a try, very respectfully, I said no.

Speaker 7 The future was not for me, and I was ready to just let it go. Watch it sail off into the distance.

Speaker 9 And then suddenly.

Speaker 7 And then suddenly.

Speaker 7 I thought I had spent so much time with my head buried in work that I just never bothered to notice this place in my neighborhood.

Speaker 7 But I turned the corner one day, and there was, somehow, a mid-century single-screen movie theater.

Speaker 7 Out of idle curiosity, I walked in,

Speaker 7 and I imagine you know the rest.

Speaker 9 And when did the rest of your people come along?

Speaker 7 You know how time works works here, I really have no idea. But eventually, I was on some planet somewhere, and along came Leaf.

Speaker 7 He was looking for a new life, as I'm sure yours was too.

Speaker 7 He didn't know anything about being a projectionist, but you know how he is with machines. He became handy very quickly.

Speaker 9 He does that.

Speaker 7 And then along came Marguerite and PJ.

Speaker 7 Now I had an engineer who could make anything and an astrophysicist who was actually starting to make sense of the place, which I never thought would happen.

Speaker 8 Others will join us for a while, but this is the core group.

Speaker 2 It's a good group.

Speaker 7 We've been through a lot together.

Speaker 9 Us too.

Speaker 7 And credits.

Speaker 7 That's my story. How about you?

Speaker 8 Well.

Speaker 9 It all started in the middle of a pandemic that had paralyzed the world. A woman named Gloria locked the doors on her takeria for the last time and wondered where life would take her next.

Speaker 8 Ha!

Speaker 8 Nice opening.

Speaker 8 No, that's not right.

Speaker 10 What are you talking about?

Speaker 8 That's not right.

Speaker 12 We're eating popcorn right now. Meaning, well, what is cooking?

Speaker 10 Something someone brings to me.

Speaker 12 It's deliberate cellular degradation. You degrade the cellular integrity for greater nutritional absorption in your body.
If it was null entropy, you couldn't cook food.

Speaker 9 Huh.

Speaker 12 So that shifting point of null entropy you found back then, it's a shifting point of something, but there's all kinds of entropy going on.

Speaker 10 Casper is 173 years old. Right.

Speaker 12 Stuff like that is happening. Trust me.
The gray hair had been creeping in for years and it has stopped dead in its tracks. I'm not getting any older, which is amazing because look at me.

Speaker 12 I'm in my prime.

Speaker 10 And to think, I would know all this if I had cooked literally one time in my life.

Speaker 12 You're such a boon for the Thai food industry, though.

Speaker 13 Hey, hey there.

Speaker 12 Hi. It's gotta be conditional, right?

Speaker 10 With the condition being what?

Speaker 12 Consciousness. Ava, you remember PJ, right? Hi, Ava.

Speaker 10 Polly Jean, wife of the dean.

Speaker 13 Oh, God. PJ,

Speaker 10 I've heard of stepping out on your husband, but you're the first to step out of space and time on your husband. It's commendable.

Speaker 13 Did it have to be the first thing you brought up, Ava?

Speaker 14 So, guys,

Speaker 13 what the fuck?

Speaker 10 What happened? What are you doing here?

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 12 Well, when we last left our heroine, she had been fired from her lofty university position because she was caught boinking the dean's wife.

Speaker 13 Please, don't say boinking.

Speaker 12 Sorry.

Speaker 12 For making passionate and meaningful love to the dean's wife. Thank you.
So I dumped all of my research off on you, and suddenly it was just Polly and me.

Speaker 13 I had been in a crisis for several years about what to do with my life.

Speaker 12 Being married to such a tremendous mediocrity will do that to you.

Speaker 13 But Marguerite was a little new to having a life crisis, so it was an adjustment period.

Speaker 12 I mean, there's plenty to do at first, right, honey?

Speaker 8 Five, five. No.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 12 But seriously, what do you do when you're kicked out of the magical kingdom?

Speaker 12 I'm sure I could have gotten some random adjunct position in some little corner of nowhere, but I couldn't imagine stepping up to the chalkboard again. Get this.
I even considered becoming a chemist.

Speaker 15 the horror i know lab coat goggles

Speaker 13 my husband got all our friends in the divorce and the only person she ever talked to at cornell was you

Speaker 13 so it was just us

Speaker 12 we were really starting from scratch but i was very happy i was too

Speaker 13 but we needed to

Speaker 12 Leave the house at some point.

Speaker 13 Yes, yes.

Speaker 12 So we developed a grand plan.

Speaker 10 Let's go see a movie.

Speaker 12 Yes. And here we are now.

Speaker 10 The odds of you and I seeing each other again this way is a little concerning to me.

Speaker 8 Right?

Speaker 12 But then, if you factor in infinity, then there are infinite Marguerites and infinite Avas, so it's not that huge of a coincidence.

Speaker 10 Because we've met again, but...

Speaker 12 We're not from the same universe.

Speaker 10 Right.

Speaker 12 But here's something.

Speaker 15 I think we're neighbors.

Speaker 10 What do you mean?

Speaker 12 Baby, you came up with a fun name for this. What was it?

Speaker 13 Smurfette's Closet.

Speaker 14 Right. What?

Speaker 13 Remember Smurfette from the Smurfs? No.

Speaker 14 You don't remember the Smurfs.

Speaker 13 What were you doing when you were nine years old?

Speaker 10 Graduating from high school?

Speaker 8 Well, um,

Speaker 13 in the Smurf village, Smurfette was the only girl Smurf. Everyone else was a boy.

Speaker 8 Nightmare.

Speaker 13 And sometimes she would walk into her little toadstool house and open her closet, and she had the same dress over and over again.

Speaker 12 So the dresses looked identical, but if you looked really close.

Speaker 10 They would all have microscopic differences. Right.
The number of universes seemingly identical to each other are seemingly infinite.

Speaker 12 In some universes, the only difference is a tree in Macon, Georgia being on the other side of the street. Changes in these universes don't have to be extreme.
Your mom was a nightclub singer, right?

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 12 And you still didn't know your dad. Yes.
And you still write in that stupid Dutch shorthand.

Speaker 10 I do.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 12 All that's the same, even though we're highly likely from different universes. Oh, and the more similar the universe, the closer they are to each other.

Speaker 8 I think.

Speaker 12 You always described it like a string of pearls stretching out to infinity, but do you remember the time I came into your office with all that CMB data?

Speaker 10 You were always coming into my office with CMB data.

Speaker 12 Right, but you were wearing your hair up and you never do that. And I was like, are you wearing your hair up? And you said, shut up, and then took it down.

Speaker 13 Um, babe, I'm going to go check on everyone in the theater.

Speaker 12 Okay, baby. I love you so much.
Love you. Where was I? The bruise.
Yes. Yeah.
I said, look at this CMB data. What are these inconsistencies?

Speaker 12 I called it a bruise on the universe, and you had a theory about it.

Speaker 10 That it was another universe rubbing up against us.

Speaker 12 Right, like a watermelon that grows with only one side facing the sun. The underside is white and not as strong.

Speaker 12 There are bruises in the cosmic microwave background where our universe touches another. So rather than a string of pearls, it's more like a DNA helix with each universe riffing on the previous one.

Speaker 10 But that implies a beginning and an ending, and the infinite doesn't do that.

Speaker 12 And this is what always happens.

Speaker 12 We pick up a thread, we follow it to its ultimate conclusion, and we end up face to face with who? Gottfried Wilhelm Goddamn Leibniz again.

Speaker 10 I've been thinking about him a lot lately.

Speaker 12 I know you have, my little closet closet philosopher.

Speaker 8 Ava,

Speaker 12 you and I know more than any physicist in history. The nature and journey of the universe, check.

Speaker 12 Multiverse theory, check.

Speaker 12 We're running out of ways to ask what is a universe, which means eventually we have to face the next question, not what is existence, but

Speaker 10 why is this existence?

Speaker 12 Why is there something instead of nothing?

Speaker 10 This is why I hate principles. They can't be proven.
Every time Leaf brings up the principle of fecundity, I throw things at him. There is no way to confirm PSR.

Speaker 12 Not for all the other apes out there, but for you?

Speaker 12 For me?

Speaker 12 For all the other infinite Avas and Marguerites taking a ride on time-traveling dimension-spanning diners and movie theaters. It's in our reach, Ava.

Speaker 12 Not just a theory of everything,

Speaker 12 the meaning of everything.

Speaker 14 What have you got to drink around here?

Speaker 12 Come back to our room. I've got this stuff from Australia.
Wasabi Lube Moonshine. You're going to love it.

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 8 this is where the magic happens.

Speaker 8 This is the projection room, obviously, but as you can see, I've got about nine projects running right now. You're making a toaster? I'm calling it the Reset Toaster.

Speaker 8 It heals burnt toast. It does? Theoretically.

Speaker 7 You have a robot frog?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Trash frog. You know how you land on a planet planet and you want to do some scavenging? This guy jumps into a pile of garbage and sniffs out rare metals.
That's a great idea.

Speaker 8 I've been thinking about bringing the drones back. Have you got drones? Oh yeah.
Definitely get some. Super useful.
I've got flachettes on mine.

Speaker 13 Nice.

Speaker 8 What is this beauty? Oh yeah. That was here when I got here.
It's a Brankert Enarch. It's only 35mm, but it's a beast.
Cast iron, lights up the film using an arc of electricity instead of a bulb.

Speaker 8 I thought about making some modifications, but it's too perfect. It's too perfect, yeah.

Speaker 8 So this is crazy. First time? What do you mean? I've been visited by a few versions of myself.
You're the third. Whoa.

Speaker 8 How was that?

Speaker 8 Confusing. How about this time?

Speaker 8 Still confusing. That's fair.
Where were you when you hopped on board?

Speaker 8 Binbar. Binbar? Jesus! That's the Outer Triangulum! What were you doing there? You know what I was doing there.
I was on the run.

Speaker 7 On the run?

Speaker 8 From who? From who? Everyone. What do you mean?

Speaker 8 After I bugged out on Loaf Tracks, I was hunted by basically everyone. The Teds were trying to find me, then any criminal in the triad was after me.
I had to go pretty deep. You left Loaf Tracks?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 You didn't?

Speaker 8 Fuck no, I'm not trying to get killed. When did you show up here?

Speaker 8 It was right after what happened on Axel.

Speaker 8 Axel. I don't know how it was for you, but I took it pretty hard.
I remember. There were a lot of people on that moon.

Speaker 8 Anyway.

Speaker 8 Afterwards, I was taking it kind of hard, and Minsky sent me to Niso for a while.

Speaker 8 And after a few days of losing my mind in paradise, I turned the corner and

Speaker 8 here was this place.

Speaker 8 I was confused at first. What's an American movie theater doing on Niso?

Speaker 8 I was feeling a little nostalgic, so I went inside.

Speaker 8 I watched this old Burt Lancaster movie called Elmer Gantry.

Speaker 8 Then I stayed for the second showing.

Speaker 8 Jeremiah and I started talking and...

Speaker 8 Long story short, I ended up staying on.

Speaker 8 I'm guessing it wasn't the same for you.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 8 You stayed on after Axel?

Speaker 8 Like you said, I wasn't trying to get killed. How long did you stay with Loaf Trax?

Speaker 8 Too long.

Speaker 8 Long enough to where getting killed didn't matter anymore. Where did you go? Quilandis.
The Justine Burbank system? Figured the best place to hide out was a system that even pirates were scared of.

Speaker 8 It worked for a while,

Speaker 8 but eventually I got burned and I had to bug out. I was hiding on a Truscan ice hauler trying to find my next move.
Disguised myself as a cook. We were stopped at Binbar Station, and

Speaker 8 that's when I saw the diner.

Speaker 8 Better late than never, I guess.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 It was rough, though.

Speaker 8 I sure could have used a place like this after Axel.

Speaker 8 Well, hey,

Speaker 8 maybe this will cheer you up. Come in here.

Speaker 8 Holy shit. This is the film library.
Rows and rows of it. How many do you have? Well, I've got it organized by genre, but get this.

Speaker 8 It changes over time.

Speaker 8 Movies show up for a while, then they're gone. I haven't heard of half of these.
The Prometheus Crisis? At first, I thought they were just B-movie crap that nobody saw, but...

Speaker 8 Check it out.

Speaker 8 The freak. Check out the director.

Speaker 8 Charlie Chaplin? On my earth, Chaplin tried for years to make this movie, but it never happened. But here it is.

Speaker 8 The movies that show up here are from different realities where they actually got made.

Speaker 8 I've got Jodoroski's Dune, Arnovsky's Batman, a sequel to Pink Flamingos.

Speaker 8 Look at this one. The Matrix, starring Will Smith.
Do you have the Eric Stoltz Back to the Future in here? We did for a while. It's as bad as you think.
Anything like this happened at your place?

Speaker 8 Uh...

Speaker 8 Yeah, the walk-in.

Speaker 8 The food regenerates and changes over time? Or at least it did.

Speaker 8 It did? About eight months ago, we were attacked by something. The diner hasn't worked since.
Whoa.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Any idea what it was? I think it was a who, not a what.
Seriously?

Speaker 8 Who has that kind of power? I don't know.

Speaker 8 I'm getting the sense that things are a little heavier on your side of the street. We've been through some shit, that's for sure.

Speaker 8 Well.

Speaker 8 Obviously, that's why we're here, right?

Speaker 8 To get you out of the mud. I've been trying for months.
I've got nothing. I know.

Speaker 8 But hey, there's two of you now. Name for me a problem that can't be fixed by two of us.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Look, it's not lost on me.
You've been stuck on Earth. The thought of that makes my skin crawl.
If I were you, I would have become a cyber terrorist months ago. You've showed amazing restraint.

Speaker 8 Maybe not as much as I should have. Regardless, I'm here now, and we've got Marguerite and that other lady.
We're going to get you out of here.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Jeremiah wants everyone to watch a movie together. That's his whole thing.
There are no strangers after the credits roll. Whatever.
Let's fire up a movie for everyone, and you and I can get to work.

Speaker 8 It's good to see you, Leif.

Speaker 8 You too, man. I'm sitting down here waiting for a movie to start.
Y'all want to get to it? We're working on it. Steve,

Speaker 8 I humbly request a film with cowboys. Your pirates.
Fine. Unless a pirate film would hit a bit too close to home, I would understand.
I see the pirate jokes have increased precipitously.

Speaker 8 That's an awfully big word for a pirate. Ha ha.

Speaker 8 What's the deal with the radio? Absolutely no idea.

Speaker 5 Okay, I've got popcorn. Casper,

Speaker 12 I am expecting you to be a gentleman and to not eat that popcorn until I've got mine.

Speaker 18 Zebulon! I have popping the corn, dear!

Speaker 11 I feel like we can start eating this popcorn anytime we want. There's no popcorn rules.

Speaker 5 No, I don't see that written anywhere in the etiquette books.

Speaker 18 Such a poor role model for your child. Do you know that, Casper?

Speaker 11 Effie, I'm afraid that ship sailed long ago. Zebulon! Dear,

Speaker 11 no amount of urgency will cause a cord to pump faster.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 11 a movie theater has appeared.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 5 And here we are

Speaker 5 inside it.

Speaker 11 I thought we had a whole conversation where you told me everything.

Speaker 5 This is new to me. I have no idea what's happening.

Speaker 5 I mean, Ava had theorized in the past that there were other diners and other versions of ourselves out there, but we always assumed it was other diners like ours. This?

Speaker 5 This is new.

Speaker 5 I guess there's no reason it has to be a diner. Uh-huh.

Speaker 11 So there's the issue of the world ending outside. Yes.
But we're going to watch a movie.

Speaker 8 See.

Speaker 5 It's at this point in the process that the smart people are talking. When the smart people are are done talking, there's usually a list of action items, and that's usually when we come in.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 11 Time-traveling dimension spanning movie theater now.

Speaker 18 Yes.

Speaker 11 It's a little comforting to know that the inner workings of the universe are this ridiculous.

Speaker 5 Right?

Speaker 13 Hi there. Hi.
We didn't get a chance to meet outside. I'm Polly.

Speaker 5 Hi there, Polly. I'm Casper.
This is David, and that's Effie and Zebulon Mucklewing.

Speaker 18 Salutations, Polly. My husband would introduce himself, but he is currently vexed by the popping of corn.
It is almost ready.

Speaker 13 What's the deal with the radio?

Speaker 5 You guys don't have something that talks to you around here? We don't. Long story short, there are a couple of radio evangelists from the 1920s, and they somehow live inside that radio.

Speaker 13 Weird. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You'd think after 173 years it would stop being weird, but nope. Still weird.
What's your weird thing?

Speaker 11 Do y'all have a weird

Speaker 8 thing?

Speaker 8 Um...

Speaker 13 well, it's no talking radio, but do you hear that music overhead?

Speaker 11 Yeah, what is that?

Speaker 13 We have no idea. It's always playing and seems to change with your mood.
We have no idea where it comes from. Nice.

Speaker 11 Have a seat.

Speaker 10 Thanks.

Speaker 8 So we're really going to watch a movie right now?

Speaker 13 I know.

Speaker 9 It's weird.

Speaker 13 It's Jeremiah's whole thing. Someone comes in the door, tells their story, and we watch a movie.

Speaker 5 Interesting.

Speaker 13 Unless they're trying to kill us. And then Leaf usually handles that.

Speaker 5 Right, same area.

Speaker 13 It was so weird to see two of him.

Speaker 5 First time, Polly, let me ask you something.

Speaker 11 You all live here all the time?

Speaker 13 We do.

Speaker 11 So y'all subsist entirely on popcorn, hot dogs, candy, and nachos.

Speaker 13 David, if you couldn't die, wouldn't you subsist entirely on popcorn, hot dogs, candy, and nachos?

Speaker 8 An excellent point.

Speaker 11 Hey, team.

Speaker 9 Hey, where have you been? I was getting the grand tour.

Speaker 8 How is it?

Speaker 9 It's nice. This place used to be a live theater, I guess, so there's dressing rooms.
Everyone has their own room.

Speaker 5 Oh, man, that's amazing.

Speaker 9 Are the smart people done talking?

Speaker 5 No, Ava's backstage, somewhere with Marguerite, and the Council of Leafs is up in the projection booth.

Speaker 9 They better come back with something amazing. I hear you.

Speaker 10 Make way.

Speaker 5 Hey, watch the popcorn.

Speaker 12 I've got junior mints. Who wants junior mints?

Speaker 10 Where were you? I was at the party backstage. What are all you nerds doing out here?

Speaker 8 Hey, baby.

Speaker 13 Hi.

Speaker 13 Are you eating junior mints because you are trying to hide the booze on your breath?

Speaker 12 No, I'm eating junior mints because of how hard I'm going to make out with you during this movie.

Speaker 7 Okay, everyone. Hello, hello.
Well, this is really something, isn't it? How are we doing up in the booth?

Speaker 8 Ready to go!

Speaker 7 Now,

Speaker 7 I'm sure you can imagine we've hosted some pretty interesting characters in the theater over the years. A Viking wanderer named Arwin the Freer.

Speaker 7 A retired monster hunter named Lolly.

Speaker 7 A young man named Talon Lawson, who had just begun his career at a promising new company called Enron.

Speaker 7 We didn't have the heart to tell them.

Speaker 7 But this?

Speaker 7 This is something new.

Speaker 7 There's nothing all that special about any of us.

Speaker 5 Speak for yourself.

Speaker 8 Chop liver over here. All right.

Speaker 7 All right. There's nothing all that special about me.
But I had begun to think of myself as singular.

Speaker 7 No one out there knows what I know, has seen the things that I've seen.

Speaker 7 But now look,

Speaker 7 turns out we have neighbors.

Speaker 7 And like good neighbors, we're going to help them out in their time of need. But first,

Speaker 7 first we do a thing that's a bit of a tradition here at the paradise.

Speaker 7 We watch a movie.

Speaker 7 We all get together under one roof and have an experience.

Speaker 7 I hear tell that the world is coming to an end outside, but it's not the first time we've rolled up on a world on the brink of destruction, and it won't be the last.

Speaker 7 We'll need to work as a team, and teams need common experiences to bind them together. However, I do know that time is of the essence.
So I've picked something nice and short.

Speaker 7 There was a request from our quite odd friends in the radio for a cowboy film. So I'll take you all back to the B-Movie Westerns of the 1930s, when movies had the gall to clock in at about 55 minutes.

Speaker 7 Those were the days.

Speaker 7 Truly a special day here at the Paradise.

Speaker 7 And so, without further ado, the man from Utah, starring John Wayne and Yakima Canut.

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 8 here it is. Nice.

Speaker 8 I always wanted to live on the roof. As you can see, I've got all kinds of shit up here.
Blanket emitters, a command center. I can do CMV scans, wave detection, etc.

Speaker 8 But none of it's been any use because I can't fix something when I don't know what it is or how it works. It's gotta gotta be something, right? I've been up here for months racking my brain.
Ava 2.

Speaker 8 And you're sure it was an attack? It wasn't a phenomenon? I think someone tried to sideline us. Why? Do you remember a group back in the day called the Sisters? The Sisters.
Doesn't ring a bell.

Speaker 8 They weren't a crime ring. They were freedom fighters, I guess.

Speaker 5 When was this?

Speaker 8 Back in our pirate days. No.

Speaker 8 But I mean, if it was back in our pirate days... We were pretty drunk the whole time.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Also, there's always some kind kind of Ted Resistance group out there, and they always get squished. I usually didn't pay any attention to them.
Right. This has something to do with them?

Speaker 11 They were trying to contact us.

Speaker 8 They're old friends of Casper's. Right when they make contact, boom, we get hit.
Okay. Maybe it's related, but

Speaker 8 if someone has the technology to sideline a place like this,

Speaker 8 some rebels from the triad aren't going to be playing on their level. They'd be small potatoes.
I guess. You have no idea who could have done this.
No.

Speaker 8 But there was this one run-in that Casper and these sisters had. They were constantly dodging the Teds, but there was this one encounter towards the end.
Guns didn't work on them.

Speaker 8 Grenades didn't work.

Speaker 8 I think they may have had temporal weapons. Time displacement? Yeah.

Speaker 8 They shot a grenade out of the sky and it...

Speaker 8 Just vanished like it was never there. Not all that different from what happened to this diner.

Speaker 8 I'm wondering if they're related.

Speaker 8 It might have something to do with the egg.

Speaker 8 Cryptesia? Yeah, that's bad. I know.
There'd be dragons, man. I know.
But if the dragon is attacking you, the warnings don't mean much.

Speaker 8 Cryptesia? Yeah. So you were in a world of shit when we showed up just now.
In a lot of ways, yes.

Speaker 8 Alright.

Speaker 8 Well, let's see what we can do.

Speaker 8 Oh shit, mongo! Yeah,

Speaker 8 it showed up when everything was just kicking off, so we've got a random mongo here now. I love those things.

Speaker 8 Who doesn't love a huge plant eater? Unless they get injured, then they're terrifying. We'll have to hope for the best on that one.

Speaker 8 How about I fire up the command center? Show you what I've got so far. Sounds good.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 you've seen our girl lately?

Speaker 8 Burbert?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Uh

Speaker 8 last I saw her, she had just won a war against the Tet. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 Empress Burtbert. That's a good one.
How many times have you run into her? Oh, tons of times. There's Empress Burtbert.
I'm quitting journalism, Burper.

Speaker 8 I'm quitting journalism again, Burtbert. Recently divorced Burp can get pretty weird.
How about you?

Speaker 8 Just that one. Oh.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 get ready. You never really know what you're getting when you see her.

Speaker 8 Always nice, though, you know? It can get so complicated out here, but seeing her always makes it feel simple somehow.

Speaker 8 You know what?

Speaker 8 Maybe that's what we need. A little simplicity.

Speaker 11 What do you mean?

Speaker 8 Look at you, man. You're knee-deep in like nine things right now.
The sisters, the mystery assailant, this earth is going off the rails, you're grounded. What if we just pretend the problem is simple?

Speaker 8 How? Let's just call it a Cadillac, right? A Cadillac. If this diner was a Cadillac,

Speaker 8 it could only be so many things. Transmission, alternator, carburetor.
Maybe it's one of those. This thing doesn't have a transmission.

Speaker 8 But what's the equivalent of a transmission for a time-traveling dimension-spanning diner? I don't know. Me neither.

Speaker 8 Let's find out.

Speaker 18 I'm having a hard time following this movie, dear. What the heck is happening?

Speaker 18 Well,

Speaker 17 this man here is John Weston. He's a bit of a saddle tramp.
And while he was blowing through town, he foiled a bank robbery. Yes, I gathered that part.

Speaker 17 The local sheriff has now deputized him to infiltrate a local rodeo that's up to no good.

Speaker 18 I see.

Speaker 17 Also, there appears to be some strange occurrences of the rodeo entrance dying of rattlesnake bites.

Speaker 17 I suspect foul play.

Speaker 8 Oh, he just jumped right up on that horse, didn't he?

Speaker 7 That's Yakima Canut. He did all the stunts for this one.
He'd go on to lay the groundwork for Hollywood stuntmen for years to come. He'd teach them how to leap on horses, how to fall downstairs.

Speaker 10 These are the tallest hats I have ever seen in my life.

Speaker 12 It's like a meeting of Western-style popes.

Speaker 10 This is not a good movie.

Speaker 8 Oh, no.

Speaker 12 It begins with John Wayne singing on a horse. Of course it's not a good movie.

Speaker 10 Why are we watching it?

Speaker 12 Jeremiah has an attachment to it. See that guy in the back there? He's holding the lasso.
Yeah. A while back, a guy comes in.
He's a down-on-his-luck ranch hand.

Speaker 12 He says that when he was a young man, he was asked to be a background player in a movie, but he never had a chance to see it. We, of course, had it in stock, and so we showed it to him.
There he is.

Speaker 12 Bobby Ray Windlin Jr.

Speaker 12 He felt like he existed a little bit more after seeing it.

Speaker 10 Speaking of things existing,

Speaker 10 the world is ending outside.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 8 What are we going to do about it?

Speaker 13 I have a radical idea.

Speaker 8 Ooh, let's hear it.

Speaker 11 So you seem like the odd one out in this group.

Speaker 13 I'm glad it shows.

Speaker 11 Oh, I did not mean that in a bad way.

Speaker 13 I'm not a movie buff or a science person. So, yes, I guess I am the odd one out.

Speaker 11 How'd you get wrapped up in all this?

Speaker 13 Well, Marguerite was a professor at Cornell, and I

Speaker 13 was there

Speaker 11 to. What did you teach?

Speaker 13 Oh, I wasn't a professor.

Speaker 13 Okay. I was the wife of the dean.

Speaker 8 Oh my. Yes.

Speaker 8 Scandalous. It really was.

Speaker 13 I'm not really prone to scandal.

Speaker 8 I get that.

Speaker 13 I didn't realize it at the time, but apparently I kept inviting her to parties and functions without knowing I was doing it. That's how I apparently

Speaker 13 put the vibe out there.

Speaker 11 Yeah, you did.

Speaker 13 After successfully putting the vibe out there, it was suddenly like I was being hunted by some sort of forest predator.

Speaker 13 To hear her tell it, I pursued her relentlessly, but I don't think I've ever pursued something relentlessly in my life.

Speaker 11 It's always the quiet ones.

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 13 Apparently, my assortment of cardigan sweaters really brings all the girls to the yard.

Speaker 11 I have two lesbian grandmothers. You have no idea how true that statement is.

Speaker 11 Well,

Speaker 17 that was really something wasn't it it was something when the lights went out at the saloon and the bandits all tried to jump him but then the lights came up and it turns out he had left the room already they were just giving themselves a beating weren't they yes

Speaker 7 they were dear all right everyone i realize that that one's not going into the library of congress or anything but it could be much worse could it I like films like this though.

Speaker 7 They were made a long time ago, before anyone knew how to make a film.

Speaker 7 None of them had gone to film school, and I think it's clear that John Wayne is not a graduate of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. They were making it up as they went along.

Speaker 12 And here comes the teachable moment.

Speaker 7 Not unlike all of us. I think that both of our groups will admit that there's not a manual for the things we do.
But that doesn't mean it's not important.

Speaker 7 All we may have are our instincts, like the merry band that made this film.

Speaker 5 So with that,

Speaker 8 Gloria?

Speaker 9 It's really great to meet you all. I'm sure you can see we're in a bit of a jam outside,

Speaker 9 but between all of us, I know that we can do something to at least fix it a little bit.

Speaker 9 So if you wouldn't mind, I'd like us all to head outside and try to make sense of the mess we're in.

Speaker 10 We have an idea, actually.

Speaker 9 That's great. Let's go.
What's your your idea?

Speaker 5 You'll see. Why can't you just tell me?

Speaker 10 You don't get special treatment.

Speaker 7 Is special treatment available?

Speaker 5 Where's the list of available services?

Speaker 10 Available services? I have no available services. What are your available services?

Speaker 5 Uh, bringing you sandwiches, bringing you coffee, bringing you pencils. Where do you think your notebooks come from?

Speaker 10 These are all privileges that I've afforded you.

Speaker 5 Oh, I see. So I should tell myself lucky.
You do. David, can you get the radio? Yep.

Speaker 12 What's going on there?

Speaker 8 Where? There.

Speaker 10 What are you talking about?

Speaker 12 What are you talking about? Don't be ridiculous. Jesus Christ, lady.

Speaker 19 Hey, guys.

Speaker 7 Leaf, I see you got started early. Thought we talked about this.

Speaker 8 Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Speaker 17 Check it out!

Speaker 8 Is that a mungo?

Speaker 16 What's it doing here?

Speaker 12 Why do you have a mungo in downtown?

Speaker 10 Where are we? Pasadena. Oh, really?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 12 Memory lane. Uh-huh.
Have you run into Chad?

Speaker 10 Do not speak his name.

Speaker 7 Gloria, can you give us a rundown of what's going on?

Speaker 9 It's two problems.

Speaker 9 One, our diner has been out of commission for eight months now. Because of this, this entire universe has gone haywire because of what, Ava?

Speaker 10 An antimatter imbalance.

Speaker 11 Just going from Pasadena to Hollywood, I saw a marching band appear out of nowhere. A talking goat, a stampede of zebras, a 30-second blizzard, a World War I dogfight, Gregorian monks,

Speaker 11 and a teleporting lawyer.

Speaker 5 Talking goat, you didn't tell me about a talking goat.

Speaker 11 It was on TikTok.

Speaker 9 What, what? We thought we were going to be able to weather the storm, but then if you look up, you'll see

Speaker 8 huh.

Speaker 7 What am I supposed to be seeing?

Speaker 13 Wait.

Speaker 8 Where did it go?

Speaker 17 Before we began the cowboy film, there were two moons in the sky.

Speaker 9 Two moons? That's when we figured we were doomed.

Speaker 9 Now I just see one moon.

Speaker 17 Maybe the other one sets.

Speaker 10 Ava?

Speaker 12 You know, I usually have to sit here and be right all by myself. It's so nice to share it with you.
It is nice. Ava, surprise!

Speaker 5 Okay, you can't just say surprise.

Speaker 12 It's fixed.

Speaker 10 What is the universe? No, it's not. Yes, it is.

Speaker 11 There's a big ass mungo five blocks away, Ava. I know.
Do you want to see the alerts on my phone? There's crazy shit still happening all over town.

Speaker 12 Correct, which is why we now unveil our new theory.

Speaker 10 The Scratch and Dent theory.

Speaker 12 Imagine the universe is a car. Not an ice car, just a car that gets you from place to place.
Like Ava's old Audi stick shift. What was it called?

Speaker 10 She was called Emily Duchatelet, and I miss her every day.

Speaker 12 It was a piece of crap, but it got the job done.

Speaker 5 How dare you? Are you guys having a slumber party or something?

Speaker 12 One brake light was missing. There were dents in the fender, and it always pulled to the left.

Speaker 10 Those were features, not bugs.

Speaker 12 Ava only took it into the shop when it broke down or wouldn't start.

Speaker 8 So we restarted the universe, but the scratches and dents remain.

Speaker 10 Correct. Scratches and dents like a mongo in downtown Pasadena.

Speaker 9 So the headline is

Speaker 9 the world is not ending. Right.

Speaker 11 But paragraph three is Pasadena just has a mungo now.

Speaker 10 Also right. I had this theory back at the Horizon Motel, but there was no time to confirm it.
We don't need to do anything.

Speaker 8 Damn. We saved the world just by showing up.

Speaker 8 That's my kind of gig. I'm a little disappointed.
I had a theory in the back of my head for blowing up the extra moon. Nice.
Core exciter? Yeah. Let it blow itself up.

Speaker 8 I was thinking spatial distortion right behind the moon. Suck it out into the asteroid belt.
Ooh. That sounds fun.

Speaker 5 Can you tell me there was a city on the moon?

Speaker 8 I mean, a small one. We'd be fine.
Leave. Leave.
Sorry. Sorry.

Speaker 10 Anyway. Crisis number one officially averted.
This is great news, you guys. You're welcome.
You didn't do anything.

Speaker 12 We We named the theory.

Speaker 16 Names are important.

Speaker 12 Have you named anything today?

Speaker 5 It seems like you kind of just sat there and then congratulated yourself.

Speaker 13 You have no idea how often I feel this way.

Speaker 12 One of the key aspects of this universe was suddenly missing, so things started breaking down. It looks like the paradise came in like a

Speaker 12 trans-dimensional substitute teacher and plugged the hole. Looks like you're going to be okay.

Speaker 8 I am.

Speaker 11 There's zebras in my neighborhood.

Speaker 13 Well, you know, you can round them up.

Speaker 5 I'm sure it'll get back to normal.

Speaker 8 Sounds like party time. Hang on, Leaf.

Speaker 7 Believe it or not, saving the universe is not the only thing on our to-do list. Our friends are still stuck here, and they've been stuck for eight months.
So what we need are some plans of action.

Speaker 7 Does anyone in the Brain Trust have some things we can try?

Speaker 8 Nothing so far with us. Nothing here.
Okay.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 7 you know how I am about these things. We're here for a reason.

Speaker 7 So let's not squander it.

Speaker 10 What if we entangled them?

Speaker 12 The diner in the paradise?

Speaker 10 I'm currently on an entanglement between dimensions thing.

Speaker 12 That sounds funky. Leafs.

Speaker 10 What if we entangled the diner and the movie theater?

Speaker 16 What would that do?

Speaker 8 No idea. Not enough time.
I'm assuming these guys will be taking off in 12 hours like us. We'd need to build a lot and make a lot of computations.

Speaker 8 Maybe if I still had the ERT processor, but not with what I've got on the roof.

Speaker 9 Crap, this is good, though.

Speaker 14 Keep talking.

Speaker 9 Let's get everyone inside. I'll make everyone some food that's not popcorn.

Speaker 8 ERT processor? Oh, yeah. It was beautiful.
I had an ERT quantum processor from 800 years in the relative future. Oh, man.
That sounds beautiful. Fucking ERTS, man.
Right?

Speaker 12 Hey. Hello.
Wanna come inside and share a milkshake with me? It's okay.

Speaker 8 Go ahead.

Speaker 12 What's wrong?

Speaker 13 Nothing.

Speaker 12 Okay. See, there's the nothing that means nothing and the nothing that means something.
I feel like this is the latter.

Speaker 13 Seriously, nothing.

Speaker 13 I'm fine.

Speaker 13 You should go hang out with Ava. You haven't seen her in a very long time.

Speaker 12 Come in with me.

Speaker 13 It's really, it's okay.

Speaker 13 There's a lot for you to figure out. You like figuring things out.
This is like Christmas morning for you. Polly.
I'm so serious. Nothing bad is happening.
I love you. Go inside.

Speaker 13 I love you too. Okay.

Speaker 12 We're going to share a milkshake later if it kills us.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Fine.

Speaker 5 I'm gonna go get everyone some coffee.

Speaker 8 You coming in? I'm fine.

Speaker 13 I'll keep an eye on things at the theater. I don't think I have much to contribute in there.

Speaker 11 Neither do I.

Speaker 13 It's really fine. Please don't feel the need to include me.

Speaker 11 Oh, I'm not trying to include you in all that.

Speaker 11 I was hoping we could sit at a booth and talk about people behind their back.

Speaker 13 That doesn't sound very nice.

Speaker 8 It's only mean if they find out about it, Polly. Come on, the coffee's good.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 10 I would first like to start this meeting by saying that I have allowed you all to sit at my booth with me. Congratulations.

Speaker 10 Who would like to start it off?

Speaker 8 I'll go first.

Speaker 8 I'm late to this conversation, but I'll start with this.

Speaker 8 If places like this diner and places like the paradise are essential functions in any universe,

Speaker 5 how could one of them stop working?

Speaker 8 That would be like gravity suddenly not working.

Speaker 10 A universe is filled with things that don't work out. Why should this place be any different?

Speaker 12 I've observed massive galaxy-sized clouds of hydrogen in multiple universes now. Those clouds were supposed to turn into galaxies, but for whatever reason they just didn't.

Speaker 12 Something short-circuited somehow.

Speaker 8 I just see that as fuel, though. That's potential energy sitting there.
Is that really a breakdown of universal function?

Speaker 12 The cloud of hydrogen is supposed to eventually become something else. Why does it just sit there in the void while all the other clouds of hydrogen got busy turning into galaxies? Something broke.

Speaker 8 Things break. But if that cloud of hydrogen sits there, it has no effect on the inner workings of the universe.
It's non-essential. Your diner failed and the whole system failed.

Speaker 8 But the whole system didn't fail. There's a mongo in Pasadena.
The system failed. Then you showed up.
Right. As a response to our inability to function, there was a reaction.

Speaker 8 A reaction from another universe.

Speaker 12 So what are we talking about?

Speaker 12 Are we talking about an inter-universal interdependence?

Speaker 10 We've all felt this. There's a moment when we figure something out and we take a step back to think about how cool we are for figuring something out.

Speaker 10 But when we take that step back, we see the lens widening. We see the picture is bigger than we thought.

Speaker 12 The shores of ignorance.

Speaker 10 The more we know, the more we need to know.

Speaker 8 What do we need to know right now?

Speaker 10 We've been looking at all the universes we travel to as having a firewall up between them.

Speaker 10 But if we begin to see them as interdependent, as interlaced with each other, then that's the bigger picture. It's an ecosystem.

Speaker 12 But an ecosystem can be one system inside of many systems. Yes.

Speaker 10 System after system getting bigger and bigger. Planets depending on stars, depending on galaxies, depending on universes.
Now, universes depending on each other. Do we stop there?

Speaker 12 We're now looking at these universes coexisting within a frame.

Speaker 12 What's the frame? What's beyond the frame? Does every infinite universe exist within something even larger?

Speaker 8 Off-topic alert, right? Let's focus up. The diner is broken.
How do we fix it?

Speaker 12 Do you want to do this or should I?

Speaker 10 We can't fix it. Why? Because there's nothing to fix.

Speaker 10 Look what happened. The paradise came along and fixed the problem and now

Speaker 10 if there's no problem to fix, then there's no diner to fix.

Speaker 12 Whatever vast system we exist in fixed itself.

Speaker 12 And if it fixed itself, it means that it doesn't need the diner.

Speaker 10 Not anymore.

Speaker 8 We've been outmoded.

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 8 Like a public bus from the 70s just

Speaker 8 sitting in a yard somewhere.

Speaker 10 If the diner could have fixed itself, it would have by now. The paradise showing up is proof of that.

Speaker 10 We're done.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 How do we break it to them?

Speaker 13 I don't know.

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Speaker 16 Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever catch yourself thinking, what if I could go after what I actually want and really make a difference? You're not alone.

Speaker 16 And that's exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University.

Speaker 16 For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge and skills to build the future you you want and make a difference where it matters most.

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Speaker 5 Hello there, welcome to Midnight Burger. Here is some coffee.
Gloria is deep in a taco-making frenzy right now. Should be out any minute.

Speaker 8 Okay?

Speaker 8 Cream?

Speaker 13 Black is fine.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 5 Holler if you need anything.

Speaker 13 So that's your dad. Yes.

Speaker 13 But you haven't been traveling with them.

Speaker 11 No, this is all new to me.

Speaker 8 How's that been? Well,

Speaker 8 how was your relationship with your parents?

Speaker 13 It was...

Speaker 13 tentative.

Speaker 11 I have a lot of friends who don't talk to their parents much because every time they do, their mom or their dad has gone down some conspiracy theory, Facebook post, rabbit hole, and they'd rather just think of their parents as the people they were when they were kids, you know?

Speaker 11 Sure. So, in light of that, this was all a pleasant surprise.

Speaker 13 A good way of looking at it.

Speaker 11 So,

Speaker 8 what's up?

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 11 What's up?

Speaker 8 Oh,

Speaker 8 oh,

Speaker 13 I see.

Speaker 13 You're one of those people who like to

Speaker 13 get into it.

Speaker 11 Who? Me?

Speaker 8 Come on.

Speaker 13 The woman I love more than anything in the world has spent all day hanging out with a woman she has been obsessed with for years. Obsessed? Absolutely.

Speaker 13 She is brilliant and funny and mean in all the ways she likes, and

Speaker 13 the whole thing makes me

Speaker 13 feel a little bit small.

Speaker 11 Polly Jean,

Speaker 11 look at you.

Speaker 11 You think you're the consolation prize?

Speaker 13 A little bit, yes. Sort of.

Speaker 13 I'm glad we're able to show up and prevent your universe from self-destructing and all that, but there's a part of me that can't wait for this day to be over.

Speaker 11 So she's like Ava? A theoretical physicist?

Speaker 13 Astrophysicist.

Speaker 11 Did she love it?

Speaker 13 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 More than anything.

Speaker 11 And then she met you.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 11 And she met you, and then there was a choice. Keep the career she loves or be with you.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 11 What did she pick?

Speaker 13 I think that's an overly simplistic way of looking at things.

Speaker 8 Oh, yes.

Speaker 11 The world is complicated.

Speaker 13 The world is complicated.

Speaker 11 You know, all day I watch that old man bring Ava things, sandwiches and coffee and sharpened pencils. There's a neon sign right above his head telling everyone what's going on.

Speaker 11 But you can't talk about it because it's just too complicated.

Speaker 13 Well, I see that as pretty simple, actually.

Speaker 8 Do tell.

Speaker 13 I know Ava a little bit. She basically raised herself, put herself through school, created her own curriculum for all her degrees.

Speaker 13 People who grow up like that, completely on their own terms, they end up having a hard time being told what to do.

Speaker 13 And they have a very hard time letting other people do things for them

Speaker 13 because it implies they can't do it for themselves.

Speaker 13 She allows him to bring her things. All day.
What your dad doesn't realize is that for Ava, that's the equivalent of wearing a pretty dress and putting on perfume and twirling a parasol.

Speaker 13 It's pretty simple.

Speaker 16 They just don't know it.

Speaker 11 Well, then, it sounds to me like it's a situation that they just think is complicated, but actually, it's quite simple. Where have I heard that before?

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 13 that's enough out of you.

Speaker 13 Now, I do not mean to besmirch the name of Tennessee.

Speaker 18 That's what he always says right before he besmirches the name of Tennessee. I am simply proud of the way that Arkansas has done right by preserving our folk traditions and agriculture.

Speaker 17 From our pottery to our hooked rugs to our watermelons.

Speaker 9 Watermelons?

Speaker 17 Nothing like a cave city watermelon, Gloria.

Speaker 7 I'm a bit partial to my state that created some of the greatest songs ever written. Though nothing sets the nation on fire like a nice hook rug.

Speaker 7 I'll have you know I've hooked many a rug that could make a shack look like Versailles.

Speaker 8 I'm sure you have,

Speaker 7 but I can walk into any joint in the world and hear music made right there in Memphis.

Speaker 18 We've played all sorts of music from Tennessee, dear.

Speaker 18 Well,

Speaker 18 we've got a lot of air time.

Speaker 18 Have to fill it with something, don't we?

Speaker 7 Please forgive the Appalachian Ozark aggression, Gloria.

Speaker 7 It's been going on for generations.

Speaker 17 Patsy, Montana.

Speaker 17 Born right there in Hot Springs.

Speaker 7 Don't tell me about music. WC Handy, Alex Chilton, Linda Martell, and three Hank Williamses.

Speaker 9 You've got some pretty good knife skills there, Mr. Producer.
Thank you.

Speaker 7 A lot of my life has involved waiting to hear.

Speaker 7 You learn to fill the time with whatever you can.

Speaker 7 Actors go to the gym. Producers learn how to cook.

Speaker 7 It's nice to be in a kitchen again.

Speaker 9 So all you guys have over there is popcorn and hot dogs?

Speaker 7 We also have nachos and candy.

Speaker 7 We have to get a little creative. You'd be surprised the number of things you can cook on a hot dog roller.

Speaker 9 Ever regret it?

Speaker 8 Oh,

Speaker 7 the dreaded R word.

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 7 No, I don't think I do.

Speaker 7 I think back to that moment I first walked in the door of the theater.

Speaker 7 Did I have any idea what I was in for? No, I did not.

Speaker 7 It was an abduction in the strictest sense.

Speaker 7 But then again, when those those two young filmmakers knocked on the door of the grocery store, I suppose that was an abduction as well. Once I saw them, I really had no choice.

Speaker 7 And perhaps that's all life is, a series of abductions, being stolen from one life to the next.

Speaker 7 I suppose I could have refused somehow.

Speaker 7 But you don't produce movies without knowing you're Joseph Campbell.

Speaker 7 The call to adventure.

Speaker 7 When a hero refuses the call to adventure, they make themselves in need of a hero.

Speaker 7 I was having none of that. Just ask your evangelists over there.
All of those prophets and holy men, very few of them chose it. It happened to them.

Speaker 18 That's true enough.

Speaker 18 Time and again, a great divinity will reach down from the clouds and call you up to a new life. First reaction is always...

Speaker 18 Who me?

Speaker 18 Are they talking about me?

Speaker 18 Must be another.

Speaker 18 But it's not for us to decide.

Speaker 17 At times, Effie and myself have felt like a cork in the ocean, haven't we, dear?

Speaker 17 But then, the things we've seen,

Speaker 17 the places we've been brought to.

Speaker 17 It's a mysterious alchemy, that.

Speaker 17 But one that needs no arguing with, I find.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I know

Speaker 7 what you're thinking.

Speaker 7 Is it all over now?

Speaker 7 Right?

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 I guess I am.

Speaker 7 We don't have to be brought to other worlds, Gloria.

Speaker 7 We can make them for ourselves.

Speaker 5 Hey, folks.

Speaker 9 What's up?

Speaker 5 The smart people are officially done talking.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 9 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 12 At the very beginning of this universe and any universe we've been to, something happened.

Speaker 12 Before even one second had elapsed in this universe, the value of something called the Higgs field changed. We don't know why it happened or how.

Speaker 12 All we know is that when the value of the Higgs field changed, it made everything in this universe possible. The universe went from a lifeless thing to a boundless explosion of energy.
One day,

Speaker 12 this universe will return to this lifeless thing. Luckily, because we showed up when we did, that day is now far off in the future.

Speaker 10 Things work, and then they don't, and the universe moves on.

Speaker 10 And I'm afraid that's what's happened to the diner.

Speaker 10 Whatever complicated system we're a part of,

Speaker 10 it fixed itself.

Speaker 10 And it did so without the diner, and now it's moved on, leaving us

Speaker 10 with just a diner.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry. I know that we all had all Ava, you can stop.

Speaker 9 I know you're just doing this little presentation for me. I appreciate it.

Speaker 9 But do you know how many times I've had to come to terms with all this being over in the last few months?

Speaker 9 This place changed all of us, and I'm grateful for it. But you can all stop having little meetings behind my back about how you're going to break the news to me.

Speaker 5 I'm sorry, Gloria.

Speaker 9 It's time to get on with what happens next.

Speaker 9 As for me,

Speaker 9 I'm staying here.

Speaker 9 This place is mine now.

Speaker 9 It it feels like mine.

Speaker 9 And I can't really imagine being somewhere else. It doesn't travel through the cosmos anymore,

Speaker 9 but it's mine, so what happens next is really a question for all of you.

Speaker 7 There's plenty of room at the paradise if you'd like to hop aboard.

Speaker 7 Your expertise would be greatly appreciated.

Speaker 9 You can also stay here if you want.

Speaker 9 Hop on a spaceship with Leif. Hell, go to St.
Kitts or something. I don't know.
Do whatever it is normal people do.

Speaker 9 But it looks like this is our last stop.

Speaker 9 So the choice is yours.

Speaker 9 And I'm going to go back into the kitchen because our guests have not had a real meal in a long time.

Speaker 9 Everybody, inside.

Speaker 8 What are you going to do? I don't know. You could totally come with us, but...

Speaker 8 I mean... Not really our style.
I mean, there's only so many of us out there. Gotta spread ourselves around.
exactly. Is she going to be okay? Yeah, she'll be fine.

Speaker 5 Just another chapter in the book of life, right?

Speaker 11 I guess I'm going to have to get used to you being around now.

Speaker 8 Oh, yes.

Speaker 5 And I've got some catching up to do, so get ready.

Speaker 8 Oh, God.

Speaker 5 I'm gonna be calling you for tech support.

Speaker 5 You're gonna have to bring your boyfriends to meet me. There's going to be slideshows of my trip to the Grand Canyon.

Speaker 11 Slideshows are not a thing anymore.

Speaker 5 I'm bringing them back, David.

Speaker 11 On second thought, maybe hop on that spaceship. Ow!

Speaker 1 What's wrong? God damn it.

Speaker 10 Is it happening again?

Speaker 5 Yes, I thought she was done. I'll get a pencil.
Oh, don't fucking bother.

Speaker 8 Six. Kazi.
Three.

Speaker 5 Kazi, can you hear me?

Speaker 5 I can't fucking help you, all right?

Speaker 8 Seven.

Speaker 5 You're on your own. I can't do anything.
Enough already.

Speaker 11 What the fuck?

Speaker 5 Would you leave me alone?

Speaker 8 Please.

Speaker 10 I take it he hasn't gotten to the part of the story where he's hearing voices in his head.

Speaker 5 Voices? Just give me a minute, okay?

Speaker 12 Voices?

Speaker 10 Stop me if you've heard this one before, David. Three sisters walk into a diner.

Speaker 12 Hey there. Hello.
Brought you tacos. Thanks.

Speaker 12 Rough news about this place, huh? Yes.

Speaker 14 Rough news.

Speaker 12 I know this hasn't been what we expected, but thinking back now, I don't know what I would do with myself if we weren't shooting through the cosmos every day.

Speaker 13 Yes, I'm sure it's very rough for them.

Speaker 12 What's wrong? Just

Speaker 13 ask. Just get it over with.
What? The only time you bring me food is when you're going to ask me for something.

Speaker 8 That's not true at all.

Speaker 13 You're going to ask Ava to come with us, aren't you?

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 13 Would you just ask her? So I can start getting used to it, please?

Speaker 8 Getting used to it.

Speaker 13 I'll be fine.

Speaker 8 I will.

Speaker 13 I just can't stand you talking around it.

Speaker 13 Where is this coming from?

Speaker 13 Seriously?

Speaker 12 Did you want me to ignore the fact that she showed up?

Speaker 13 You're different around her.

Speaker 13 She brings out a side of you that I just can't bring out. I'd like to, but I can't.
And I've been watching it all day.

Speaker 13 And now we're gonna have to do that every day.

Speaker 12 I wasn't going to ask you.

Speaker 13 Don't change the plan now that I'm upset. I'm not.
I'm sorry that I spent so much of my life being boring, okay? I was a boring housewife, and I have no idea why I did it. I didn't mean to.

Speaker 12 And now we're on to this topic.

Speaker 13 I just, I, I just love

Speaker 13 that brain of yours so much, and I just

Speaker 13 can't.

Speaker 10 It's like

Speaker 13 I can't get your brain brain to be interested in me.

Speaker 12 My brain?

Speaker 12 My brain is all kinds of interested in you. Not that way.

Speaker 13 Not like when Ava's around.

Speaker 12 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 10 You know what?

Speaker 12 It's like

Speaker 12 I'm not even here in this argument. I'm right here, PJ.
And I'm telling you that I was not going to ask her to come with us.

Speaker 13 I know you're thinking about all the work you could do together.

Speaker 12 Oh, god damn it. I love you so much.
And also, I just want to break a plate over your head. Get up.
What?

Speaker 13 Get up. We just sat down.
Get up.

Speaker 12 You think I was going to ask Ava to come with us? That's not what I was going to ask. Come here.
Where are we going?

Speaker 13 Where are we going? What?

Speaker 10 Hello there, radio people.

Speaker 12 Is anybody home?

Speaker 17 Um, yes. Hello, Laptop.

Speaker 12 I would like you to marry us.

Speaker 8 You would? There, okay?

Speaker 12 I was going to ask you to marry me.

Speaker 12 There are two Baptist ministers in this radio, and I know you have a nostalgia thing because your grandfather was a devout Baptist, and I, like a scientist, did the math. You're right.

Speaker 12 I do only bring you food when I'm going to ask you to do something, but this was the thing: marriage, all right?

Speaker 13 You're kidding.

Speaker 12 I am being so fucking real right now, Polly Jean. Nuptials, boom, it's happening.

Speaker 13 Get ready. Get ready.

Speaker 8 Is this really happening?

Speaker 17 Hold up there, y'all.

Speaker 18 See, how this is supposed to unfold is

Speaker 18 there is a proposal, then acceptance of said proposal, then we move on to the saying of vows. Y'all are skipping a step or two.
Fine.

Speaker 12 Right. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 12 Polly, please,

Speaker 12 for the love of God, marry me before I lose my mind.

Speaker 8 That's

Speaker 17 all right. That's a bit of an odd one, but it does meet the criteria.

Speaker 8 And now, step two. Is this really happening?

Speaker 13 Why do I get the feeling you're doing this as a dare?

Speaker 12 It is a dare. I'm daring you to marry me.
Come on, what are you, chicken?

Speaker 13 I'm not a chicken. You're a chicken.

Speaker 17 Now, I'm gonna need a little more poetry, y'all.

Speaker 14 Let's really do some work right here.

Speaker 18 I'm not expecting anyone to be Baudelaire or nothing, but let's put some sauce on it.

Speaker 8 Fine.

Speaker 12 You are

Speaker 12 every universe.

Speaker 12 You are time and space.

Speaker 12 I revolve around you

Speaker 12 every day.

Speaker 12 I live inside you.

Speaker 12 I am

Speaker 12 with my very

Speaker 12 last particle

Speaker 12 begging you to marry me.

Speaker 12 Please, Polly.

Speaker 18 All right, I believe that'll pass mustard. Now, over to you, ma'am.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 8 Oh, my.

Speaker 8 Here we go, dear. Step lively.
Wait, what time of year is it?

Speaker 18 Are we doing spring or something? Spring, dear.

Speaker 17 Where have I put my organ collection?

Speaker 18 It's under the teapot. We need a witness.
Jeremiah, get your volunteer butt over here and volunteer yourself.

Speaker 7 My goodness, it's really happening.

Speaker 18 Dear, I've got summer and winter, but no spring.

Speaker 17 Sounds.

Speaker 17 I was making revisions.

Speaker 17 It's in the study beneath Keisha's catechism. I have told you to put the sermons back when you were done with them.
A thousand apologies, dear.

Speaker 17 Here we are.

Speaker 17 A bit of music. No, not that one.
Where is it? Where is it?

Speaker 8 Aha. Where are we having the bachelor party?

Speaker 12 Can you do it in 30 seconds?

Speaker 13 No, technically, I'm not even divorced yet.

Speaker 12 Well, that just makes it hotter. Found it.

Speaker 18 Here it lays. Page one.

Speaker 17 Let's get a move on. And I put

Speaker 8 down the needle.

Speaker 17 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God and these witnesses to join these two in holy matrimony.

Speaker 17 Marriage is a sacred covenant instituted by God and not to be entered into lightly.

Speaker 17 It is a union of two hearts, two minds, and two spirits bonded together by love and commitment

Speaker 17 the Bible tells us in Ephesians husbands oh no now one moment now just cross off that part right there and I move that part down yes now skip over that business there yes good onward

Speaker 17 love each other just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Speaker 17 as you prepare to make your your vows to one another, remember that your marriage should be built on a foundation of faith, trust, and mutual respect.

Speaker 17 As you journey through life together, there will be times of joy and times of sorrow, times of plenty and times of want.

Speaker 17 And now, I ask you to join your right hands and declare intentions to enter into the covenant of marriage.

Speaker 18 Do you, Polly Jean, take Marguerite to be your partner in life? To be the boiler of her grits and the juicer of her lemons?

Speaker 14 I beg your pardon, just say yes.

Speaker 14 Yes.

Speaker 17 And do you, Marguerite, swear to be the protector and keeper of her honor, her sword in the darkness, her

Speaker 17 unbending mast in the storm.

Speaker 12 With every fucking fiber of my being.

Speaker 12 Then,

Speaker 17 let it ring forth until the end of time.

Speaker 17 By the power vested in me by God and the great state of Arkansas, I pronounce the wed.

Speaker 13 You two are fucking nuts.

Speaker 8 I know!

Speaker 5 Congratulations!

Speaker 7 I'll go tell everyone the news.

Speaker 17 Let's get a time on that, dear.

Speaker 18 About a minute 40.

Speaker 17 A new record!

Speaker 18 I know we can get it down to under a minute.

Speaker 17 Next time for certain.

Speaker 11 So you didn't remember them until a few days ago?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's how it works, apparently. I don't

Speaker 5 directly remember things that happened, but things can remind me, and then when I do remember, it all comes at me in a rush. It's

Speaker 11 really disorienting. 173 years.

Speaker 5 173 years.

Speaker 11 So there could be all kinds of stories like this locked up in your head, and you would never know it?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I think this one's a little different, though.

Speaker 11 Why?

Speaker 5 I think I met them early on when I hadn't been here that long.

Speaker 5 I thought Effie and Zebulon were in my head.

Speaker 5 I thought I was...

Speaker 5 insane.

Speaker 5 I was scared a lot.

Speaker 5 But for the first time I

Speaker 5 genuinely helped someone, for the first time I felt like there was

Speaker 5 some purpose to this place.

Speaker 5 Or at least there could be.

Speaker 5 I think if I hadn't have met them, I might not have made it.

Speaker 11 And now they need your help.

Speaker 8 Apparently.

Speaker 5 But whatever thing they're using to broadcast into my brain, it only goes one way, so I can't tell them they're barking up the wrong tree.

Speaker 5 I'm just an earthling now.

Speaker 8 Just a guy who used to work at the DMV.

Speaker 5 Whatever mess they're in, they're going to have to get themselves out of it.

Speaker 9 Don't miss the train, everyone. Did everyone take some tacos?

Speaker 7 I think we've got enough tacos to feed a galaxy, Gloria. Okay, good.
It's been amazing to meet you.

Speaker 9 It's been so great. Thanks for stepping in to save the universe.

Speaker 7 You sure you're gonna be okay here?

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 9 this old girl has taken me everywhere. I can't abandon her now.

Speaker 7 I know the feeling.

Speaker 9 Hey, you two. A little heads up about the wedding next time.
I could have made a cake.

Speaker 12 Sorry, Gloria. I had to move fast before she changed her mind.

Speaker 10 You couldn't have called me in from the parking lot?

Speaker 12 You hate weddings.

Speaker 10 That's true.

Speaker 12 So

Speaker 12 what's the next step?

Speaker 10 I don't know. I've found this place before.
I am sure I can find another one. You have

Speaker 5 five pinball machines in there?

Speaker 8 I do.

Speaker 13 Leaf is very frustrated by my high score on Earthshaker.

Speaker 11 Do you have Earthshaker? I do.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's the grapes of wrath of pinball machines.

Speaker 13 Really is beautiful.

Speaker 5 I can't believe I could have been playing Earthshaker this whole time.

Speaker 13 California and Nevada split apart.

Speaker 5 And it makes the rail for the ball. Amazing.
Is it one of the censored ones? No.

Speaker 13 The girl's voice still says kitchen.

Speaker 5 I'm so jealous.

Speaker 8 I can't believe it.

Speaker 13 We have Cactus Canyon, too.

Speaker 5 The original or the remake?

Speaker 13 The original.

Speaker 12 What? It's nice when they play together.

Speaker 13 Shut it.

Speaker 12 Taby, let's go. It's our wedding night.

Speaker 10 Remember, you two, I want some grandchildren.

Speaker 13 Bye, Ava.

Speaker 8 Ooh, here, take these. What are these? Pagers? Just on the outside.
I'm working on something. What is it? Figured out a way to clone the signal of the paradise.

Speaker 8 They work like signal repeaters. Okay.

Speaker 8 That's cool. Why, though? Honestly, I have no idea.
I figured out how to make them, and now I'm looking for a good use case. Maybe you can figure something out.
Alright.

Speaker 8 Let's see what I can do. Tell Bert Bird I said hi.
Okay.

Speaker 8 You two. Hey, I'm sorry.
I've I've got to say something.

Speaker 8 What's up?

Speaker 8 This whole thing doesn't seem right to me. How do you mean?

Speaker 8 Marguerite and Ava are saying that your diner got knocked out of commission, and now that the multiverse has bridged the gap, it doesn't need your diner anymore. Essentially.

Speaker 8 Tell me honestly.

Speaker 8 A diner?

Speaker 8 A movie theater?

Speaker 8 Do we really think this is how all of existence works?

Speaker 8 Honestly?

Speaker 8 No, exactly. Imagine you're in Mesopotamia, okay? You're a farmer.
You grow your crops on the banks of the Tigris. You look at that river and you think,

Speaker 8 look at this beautiful river. Isn't it great that this river makes my farm so bountiful? But...

Speaker 8 Let's say that you, a Mesopotamian farmer, have a little engineer inside you that says, yes, this river is beautiful, but what if I had canals between my crop rows that the river would feed?

Speaker 8 The river flows through the canals and then back into the river. What if I could take the natural world and just

Speaker 8 give it a little polish, a mod or two? Where's the harm in that? Sure, yeah.

Speaker 8 And now imagine you're the same type of guy, but this time it's, say, 12 billion years ago. You look up and you see the ebb and flow of existence and you think to yourself, that's beautiful.

Speaker 8 But, you know, what if I helped it out a little bit?

Speaker 8 You think someone used technology to mod the multiverse? Not technology the way you and I think of it.

Speaker 8 I'm talking about dimensional compression, man. I'm talking about a battleship inside of an atom.

Speaker 8 I'm talking about a thing that sleeps in particles and then at the right place, at the right time,

Speaker 8 the right words are said,

Speaker 8 it unfolds before you.

Speaker 8 You think that diner and that movie theater

Speaker 8 that someone made them?

Speaker 8 That someone built canals in the fabric of space-time?

Speaker 8 Every organism changes the environment it lives in.

Speaker 8 What makes a multiverse so different?

Speaker 8 It's just a fucking Cadillac, Laif.

Speaker 8 Think about it, okay?

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I will.

Speaker 8 Thanks for the weird pagers. Thanks for the tacos.

Speaker 7 Y'all, it has been an eye-opening day.

Speaker 7 A beautiful one.

Speaker 7 I believe in you all

Speaker 7 and I know that you'll be able to make it through this time and onward to more adventures.

Speaker 7 We'll be thinking of you as we crisscross the sky

Speaker 7 and remember when you really need us we're always just right around the corner.

Speaker 9 Goodbye paradise.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 here we all are.

Speaker 5 I am just now now realizing that David has had the longest day in the history of mankind.

Speaker 11 Jesus Christ. It's only been a day.

Speaker 5 It's like that moment in Diehard.

Speaker 8 Welcome to the party, pal!

Speaker 8 Shit! Late! What? It's just a fucking Cadillac! Yeah, I heard you! When do you need two Cadillacs? What?

Speaker 11 What is he talking about?

Speaker 13 Two Cadillacs?

Speaker 5 When do you need two Cadillacs?

Speaker 10 I mean, you need two Cadillacs when one Cadillac simply will not do.

Speaker 13 Am I right?

Speaker 13 What was that?

Speaker 8 Muckle Waynes. We heard it.
And I am afraid we recognize it. What is it?

Speaker 8 It's them. The mystery men? Yes.

Speaker 5 Everybody inside right now.

Speaker 8 Let's go. David, follow me.

Speaker 5 Muckle Waynes, tell them what's going on. David, out back right now.
Where are we going? Right now. Listen up, y'all.

Speaker 18 These are the mysterious beings who accosted us way back when.

Speaker 17 You will hear three separate noises and they will seem to drop right out of the sky.

Speaker 8 I should get Peter.

Speaker 17 There's no need, Life. We saw terrifying weaponry used against them to no avail.
Keep yourselves hidden.

Speaker 17 Perhaps Effie and I may find a way to distract them or

Speaker 17 redirect their attentions elsewhere.

Speaker 8 Where did Casper go?

Speaker 18 I imagine he's telling David to get gone.

Speaker 11 You want me to go? I need you to go, David.

Speaker 5 These guys are very dangerous. I can't have you here.

Speaker 7 We should all go then. They're probably looking for me.

Speaker 5 I tossed a few of them in the deep freeze a long time ago, and I guess me staying put has allowed them to catch up with me. You've got to go now.

Speaker 11 I'm not going to just leave after all this. David?

Speaker 5 All that time I was out there looking for you all those years, almost losing my mind. I just needed to know you were okay.

Speaker 5 Please don't deny me that now.

Speaker 5 Look, either Leaf or Ava will think of something or the Mucklemans will do something crazy. We always get out of it somehow.

Speaker 8 Just

Speaker 8 go home.

Speaker 5 Stay there. I'll call you as soon as the danger's past, okay?

Speaker 11 Don't fucking get killed after all this.

Speaker 5 Nobody dies.

Speaker 8 Go right now.

Speaker 8 Fuck. That's them.

Speaker 8 Go.

Speaker 8 Who are they, Lafe? No idea. There they are.

Speaker 17 They've made no movements to come inside.

Speaker 18 They're just

Speaker 13 waiting there. Did David get out?

Speaker 20 Yeah, he's sick.

Speaker 9 So what now?

Speaker 20 Inside the structure. Make yourselves known.

Speaker 9 Oh, no, I don't think we'll be making ourselves known.

Speaker 8 What kind of idiots do they think we are?

Speaker 20 Elect a representative and move them to the structure's exterior.

Speaker 8 Elect a representative?

Speaker 18 That's a new notion of theirs.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they didn't do that last time.

Speaker 13 Do they just want to talk to us?

Speaker 8 Why are you laughing?

Speaker 10 Wait, dummies.

Speaker 10 They don't know what's going on either.

Speaker 8 What do you mean?

Speaker 10 They're trying to get us to tell them.

Speaker 8 What are you talking about?

Speaker 8 Hey.

Speaker 10 Um.

Speaker 9 You're great.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 8 Nothing.

Speaker 10 Just.

Speaker 10 You're great.

Speaker 5 I'm so confused right now. Trust me.

Speaker 10 Okay. Ava.
Let's go, Michael Waynes. What is she doing?

Speaker 18 What have you got up your sleeve?

Speaker 10 Just fermions and bosons, Michael Waynes.

Speaker 8 What the fuck?

Speaker 8 Hi there!

Speaker 10 If you're here for the wedding, I'm afraid you missed it. RSVPing is very important in polite society.

Speaker 20 Are you the elected representative?

Speaker 10 Yes, that's me.

Speaker 10 I am the leader.

Speaker 10 Ava,

Speaker 18 I sure hope you know what you're doing.

Speaker 20 Expeduction processing.

Speaker 10 Hey, hey, hey, watch the meat hooks there, buddy.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit. They took them.
Ava, goddamn it. Now what?

Speaker 5 Shit! Why the fuck did she come out here?

Speaker 9 She pretended like she was the leader and they took her.

Speaker 8 Why did she do that? We have to assume she had some sort of fucked-up plan. God damn her and her fucked-up plans.

Speaker 9 We cannot afford to be down a physicist and two mucklewains right now!

Speaker 8 What the hell are we going to do?

Speaker 8 What does that sound? Huh?

Speaker 8 It's these

Speaker 8 things Lafe gave me. What are they? Well,

Speaker 8 he said they're like signal repeaters. They clone the diner's signal.

Speaker 8 Why are they?

Speaker 8 oh shit? What? You know when you need two Cadillacs?

Speaker 8 When one of them has a dead battery.

Speaker 8 Oh my god,

Speaker 8 they gave us a fucking jumpstart!

Speaker 8 Like a goddamn Cadillac!

Speaker 8 Thank God

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 8 we're back up.

Speaker 8 Oh no!

Speaker 8 Casper

Speaker 8 David, yeah,

Speaker 5 he's gonna be okay.

Speaker 5 I'm glad I got to see him again.

Speaker 5 He's a great guy.

Speaker 9 Maybe we can make our way back to him somehow.

Speaker 9 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 8 Hey, Gloria.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 8 How about you go check the deep freeze?

Speaker 9 Oh my

Speaker 9 Hello.

Speaker 8 There you are, you little fuckers.

Speaker 8 Look at you!

Speaker 8 Look at you! Oh, look at all of you! Okay.

Speaker 8 Okay. So much licking.

Speaker 14 Look at you guys. I missed you so much.

Speaker 8 Shit!

Speaker 9 Okay, okay, listen up. Listen up, everyone.

Speaker 8 We're going to have all kinds of time together, and it's gonna be great.

Speaker 9 But for now, I have to go because mommy's going to fuck up the bad guys again, okay?

Speaker 9 Wait a minute.

Speaker 9 Wait, wait a minute.

Speaker 10 Puppies?

Speaker 10 What the hell?

Speaker 10 God damn, each one of you is a girl.

Speaker 8 The crew is down to half.

Speaker 8 We've got an apparent army of oogies on our trail, and there are still three sisters out there that apparently need our help.

Speaker 8 Not good odds.

Speaker 9 Well, let's get up on the roof and try and come up with a plan.

Speaker 5 I really have no idea how to plan around something like this anymore.

Speaker 9 We'll think of something.

Speaker 8 Oh,

Speaker 8 no.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 11 The reception sucks out here.

Speaker 13 David.

Speaker 5 David, what the fuck did you do?

Speaker 8 So?

Speaker 11 Tell me more about Three Sisters.

Speaker 17 The Tommies in the Trenches seems to have one favorite song. It's a long way to Tipperary.

Speaker 18 Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y'all. Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness.

Speaker 17 And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember, we're out there, somewhere, looking for you.

Speaker 18 We open at six!

Speaker 5 Midnight Burger is made possible in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters, Billy, Bertberg, Bethany, Second Bethany, Society of Bethanies, Mr.

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Speaker 5 and Mrs.

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Speaker 5 Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey. I hope something good happens to you today.

Speaker 8 Yes, you.

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Speaker 5 Dr.

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Speaker 5 Hi, honey! Kinger was here.

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Speaker 5 Hit it!

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Speaker 5 Lattice Trash Angel is in your trash cans. Why would you throw this away?

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Speaker 5 Oh God!

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Speaker 5 Anthony, J.

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Speaker 5 Dear Space Jesus, please.

Speaker 12 Give away your state secrets just yet, guys.

Speaker 8 Dear Space Jesus.

Speaker 12 We follow it to its ultimate conclusion and we end up face to face with who

Speaker 12 this is the one I actually meant to ask you about.

Speaker 9 Hey, you two. A little heavy.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 7 I whistled my S.

Speaker 8 Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 8 Which is fairy, Tennessee, I guess.

Speaker 8 Right? That is true.

Speaker 12 Taking a ride on time traveling's dement.

Speaker 12 How about I get, you know, like the subtitle of the thing right?

Speaker 8 Let's do it.

Speaker 8 God damn it.

Speaker 12 I've observed. Observed.

Speaker 8 I've observed.

Speaker 5 And we're done. We.

Speaker 5 We.

Speaker 8 Nobody died.

Speaker 8 Nobody died.

Speaker 14 Nobody died.

Speaker 12 Ava's old Audi stick shift. What was it called?

Speaker 10 Audi.

Speaker 12 Audi, yeah.

Speaker 12 Your girl doesn't say

Speaker 8 Audi.

Speaker 12 Audi. Imagine the universe is a car, not a nice car, just a car that gets you from place to place.
Like Ava's old Audi stick shift.

Speaker 17 You did it again.

Speaker 5 You just did it again. It's an audio.

Speaker 8 I said Audi. No, you said Audi.

Speaker 5 You said Audi.

Speaker 12 I'm doing the thing that Tom did that one time where he couldn't say the thing and he kept saying it the way that he thought it was worth it.

Speaker 8 Remember that? In the

Speaker 12 Clementine's? Okay, Ava.

Speaker 8 I sure remember that.

Speaker 12 Wait, what am I saying? Audi.

Speaker 8 Audi.

Speaker 12 Audi. Audi.

Speaker 12 I drive a Honda. It's a lot easier to say that.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 8 Here we go.

Speaker 10 Alicia.

Speaker 14 That was so funny. What?

Speaker 8 It was great.

Speaker 14 It's true. Look at her.
She's on the outside all the time.

Speaker 8 All the time.

Speaker 14 All these smarty, smart, smarts talking smart shit. Like, she's totally on the outside all the time.

Speaker 10 Poor, poor Polly Jean, wife of the dean.

Speaker 13 Poor, poor Polly Jean wife of the dean.

Speaker 12 Made up nursery rhymes about her. God.

Speaker 5 oh, did I miss something?

Speaker 8 God damn it. To hell.

Speaker 10 God damn it, to hell.

Speaker 8 You guys are gays.

Speaker 9 Just a little bit.

Speaker 5 You can even throw some words in there, like, you know, like, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean? Stuff like that.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 8 The fools.

Speaker 8 Why are you?

Speaker 10 I hated all of that. Can we please say goodbye?

Speaker 14 Oh, my God. All right.

Speaker 5 Okay, let's stop there.

Speaker 5 Fucking earths, man.

Speaker 18 Right.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 8 I listen.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 20 Chills.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 7 This is my last shot, man. Come on.

Speaker 8 I think we're going to go back and do it again.

Speaker 3 We would have to do that online ordained thing.

Speaker 8 Or they would have to pay you. I mean, you have to church by the audio.

Speaker 7 It takes five men.

Speaker 5 They are ordained by the Church of Life.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you might as well do that and speak and just be ready.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 7 All right, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 7 The pork and spots are great once you remember, by the way.

Speaker 8 Awesome.

Speaker 7 You get a clergy sticker.

Speaker 8 Nice.

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