Welcome to the Horizon Part 1: Relentless Rick

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Speaker 6 Rules and restrictions apply.

Speaker 7 Things may still be a little weird around here. Things are always weird around here.
Right.

Speaker 7 This would be a new category of weird. Clementine told me that at one point she

Speaker 7 disintegrated your body

Speaker 7 and then she reconstructed your body from

Speaker 7 ambient molecules in the atmosphere.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry, she what now?

Speaker 7 Jesus, Frank, just go away!

Speaker 7 But you look like you're doing great, so keep a lookout for that as well.

Speaker 7 What's this town?

Speaker 10 Oh, okay.

Speaker 11 Hood's Pocket.

Speaker 7 That's a funny name.

Speaker 3 It's a funny town.

Speaker 9 Up there is Mount Hood. The town sits in just the right place so that it hardly ever gets direct sunlight.
It's in the shadow of the mountain most of the year.

Speaker 8 Hood's Pocket.

Speaker 8 So that was fun.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Kind of been looking for a category to put that whole experience in.

Speaker 15 Me too. All night.

Speaker 14 I've been doing that all night.

Speaker 3 Ah, you didn't sleep either?

Speaker 16 Sleep. Ah!

Speaker 17 Sure, sleep.

Speaker 14 It's like everybody has weird shit happen to them, right?

Speaker 14 They swear they saw a ghost

Speaker 14 or a UFO or Sasquatch.

Speaker 18 But that's easy to understand. Right.

Speaker 14 I know what a UFO is. Or Bigfoot.
But this.

Speaker 20 Hard to describe.

Speaker 14 Gather round the campfire, everyone. And let me tell you of the time an attired diner appeared in our parking lot.

Speaker 18 And how right before that, several copies of my mom and dad started arguing in said parking lot.

Speaker 14 And how some leggy redheads showed up and apparently started unraveling reality.

Speaker 16 And how it was all solved by the...

Speaker 13 I don't know, the universe being rebooted or something.

Speaker 14 And before all that, Frank was disintegrated and then put back together again by that same redhead.

Speaker 14 Oh, sorry, too soon.

Speaker 7 Hey, you two. What can I get you?

Speaker 8 Idra! Hey! You're back!

Speaker 14 Yeah, I'm back. I thought you joined the Peace Corps or something.
You did? Why? I asked TJ where his granddaughter went and he said she joined the Peace Corps or something.

Speaker 7 Oh, no, I was doing some community organizing in the city.

Speaker 22 What were you doing?

Speaker 7 It was the Stop the Tram project.

Speaker 14 There's a tram? What tram are you stopping?

Speaker 7 The Mount Hood Tram.

Speaker 14 Am I supposed to know about this?

Speaker 22 I don't know anything about this.

Speaker 7 They want to build an aerial tram that takes people all the way to the top of the mountain. Really?

Speaker 14 Yes. And you stopped it.

Speaker 24 Nope.

Speaker 7 They're totally building it. We totally failed.
Months and months of getting the word out, and

Speaker 7 we totally failed. And then I fell into a deep, what the hell am I doing with my life depression? So

Speaker 7 I figured I should probably come work for my grandpa again.

Speaker 7 So I am now back completely humiliated and serving drinks to locals.

Speaker 14 That sucks, Deidre. I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 How are you holding up? Still super depressed, but successfully covering it all up by being chipper.

Speaker 14 Better girl.

Speaker 25 Hey, Deidre, let me ask you something.

Speaker 22 Have you noticed anything weird lately?

Speaker 2 Weird?

Speaker 23 Yeah, I'm out of the ordinary.

Speaker 7 Does being a grown-ass woman without any direction in life count?

Speaker 26 Let's say no.

Speaker 7 Then no. Huh.

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 22 if you notice anything out of the ordinary, could could you give me a call?

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 7 That is kind of a weird thing to say, Frank.

Speaker 14 That is kind of a weird thing to say, Frank.

Speaker 28 Just give me a call, okay?

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 7 What can I get you?

Speaker 28 Uh, two IPAs. Sure.

Speaker 18 But what are you doing? You heard what they said last night.

Speaker 27 Things could get weird here.

Speaker 23 We should keep a lookout.

Speaker 14 That was last night.

Speaker 29 I know. I just figured Clementine was here a few times.
Maybe.

Speaker 14 I don't know. You're going to start a neighborhood watch for strangeness? I don't know.

Speaker 20 Frank, are you maybe a little freaked out right now?

Speaker 15 Aren't you? Yeah.

Speaker 14 I think I'm still in shock.

Speaker 28 Well, let me know when that wears off.

Speaker 14 But that scientist lady didn't tell me that I got...

Speaker 18 I forget her exact words.

Speaker 28 She said, at one point, she disintegrated your body, and then she reconstructed your body from ambient molecules in the atmosphere.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 14 That's not great. No.

Speaker 15 But look, I'm boking you right now.

Speaker 9 I can see that.

Speaker 14 That's solid Frank right there.

Speaker 14 You're right there.

Speaker 8 Am I? Yes.

Speaker 27 If my truck was destroyed and then someone made a new truck out of thin air that looks like my truck,

Speaker 30 is that my truck?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 14 Did you check the glove compartment for that road flare you keep in there?

Speaker 31 I'm being serious. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I know, Frank, but you brought up some serious philosophical shit just now.

Speaker 14 I don't know if we're gonna get that all worked out in an afternoon at the Sheep's Eye Roadhouse.

Speaker 4 I have asked people to stop calling me Flat Doug.

Speaker 13 Sorry, Doug.

Speaker 13 Hi.

Speaker 4 Um, I heard you were asking around about uh weird shit.

Speaker 13 You

Speaker 28 how did you hear about that already?

Speaker 21 I don't know.

Speaker 33 That that was like 90 seconds ago.

Speaker 13 Look, I I heard it. Okay.

Speaker 14 Are you seeing some weird shit, Doug? No.

Speaker 8 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 28 What are we talking about then, Doug?

Speaker 32 I just, I would like to be warned if there's anything weird going on.

Speaker 13 Ah, I see.

Speaker 32 I don't like weird shit, Frank.

Speaker 4 I understand.

Speaker 32 I have been hit by two snow plows, and I don't like weird shit. It's a pattern with me.

Speaker 14 We get it. Technically, getting hit by three snowplows would be a pattern.
Twice is just a coincidence.

Speaker 29 Well, why would you even put that out into the world, June?

Speaker 13 I'm sorry.

Speaker 32 Now I'm freaked out about a third snowplow.

Speaker 34 You weren't before? I would be.

Speaker 31 She's really sorry.

Speaker 14 It's currently spring, so you've got that working for you.

Speaker 18 We didn't mean renegade snowplows. We were just talking about.

Speaker 11 If you see anything out of the ordinary, give me a call at the motel, okay?

Speaker 4 You guys are gonna tell me if something's going on.

Speaker 32 Not flat, Doug.

Speaker 3 We will.

Speaker 22 I promise.

Speaker 11 Just give me a call.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Okay. Look both ways when you cross the street.

Speaker 14 I mean, seriously, though, who doesn't hear us no plow coming? And then, who doesn't hear us no plow coming the second time?

Speaker 20 We have to protect Flat Doug.

Speaker 27 No one else is going to work at the convenience store.

Speaker 21 It takes a particular brand of human to do that.

Speaker 14 Plow magnet brand, apparently.

Speaker 8 Frank?

Speaker 13 Celeste.

Speaker 35 Hello.

Speaker 36 I heard you were looking for weird shit.

Speaker 14 Jesus. You see what you did? I would.

Speaker 23 Sure.

Speaker 28 Celeste, what have you got?

Speaker 36 Well, the raccoons were back at my place again.

Speaker 27 Celeste, you've really got to fix your garbage cans, okay?

Speaker 11 There were two of them.

Speaker 36 I heard them back there. They knocked over the trash cans, so I rushed out back to shoe them away.
And then, when I hit them with the porch lights, one of them, he...

Speaker 36 Well, instead of running away, he just stood up like a man. He stood there with his arms wide like this.

Speaker 24 He just stood there like he wanted a hug or something.

Speaker 24 He stood there like that for five minutes.

Speaker 14 You stood there staring down a raccoon for five minutes.

Speaker 17 What was I supposed to do?

Speaker 14 Discuss current events?

Speaker 22 Um, Celeste, I don't think that's the kind of weird thing we're talking about, Celeste.

Speaker 27 But you really need some locking trash cans.

Speaker 36 Why am I gonna spend money on something I put garbage in?

Speaker 18 Well, we just replaced ours at the motel.

Speaker 22 I'll bring a couple of our old ones by your place.

Speaker 13 Okay?

Speaker 8 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 36 Standing there like a man.

Speaker 27 Yep, I understand.

Speaker 14 I would say that she needs to quit drinking, but I think I'm more scared of a sober Celeste. Oh, shit! Edgy, Steve Alert!

Speaker 15 Frank, how you doing, pal? Steve. Listen, I'm hearing rumblings in town about weird shit going on.

Speaker 33 How does this happen in two minutes?

Speaker 15 I'd like the inside track on this. I need to know what's going on at all times.
I don't want any surprises.

Speaker 21 There's nothing to tell.

Speaker 18 Steve, it's just a question. I asked Deidre literally two minutes ago.

Speaker 33 I need to stay abreast of these things, Frank.

Speaker 37 Abreast?

Speaker 15 Guy like me? I'm an entrepreneur.

Speaker 23 You're a meth dealer.

Speaker 15 And as an entrepreneur, I need to have my finger on the pulse of the community. I need to be jacked into the nervous system.

Speaker 15 I need to stay on top of trends. In a town of 600 people, I have a lot of projects coming down the pipeline.
If there's weird shit going on, I need to know about it.

Speaker 14 What are these projects, Steve?

Speaker 15 I can't talk about it. It's proprietary.

Speaker 8 What does proprietary mean?

Speaker 15 Proprietary means I can't talk about it.

Speaker 14 That's not what proprietary means.

Speaker 16 Okay,

Speaker 16 I promise I'll keep you updated, Steve.

Speaker 15 Thanks, man. Hey, are you on LinkedIn?

Speaker 37 Please go away now.

Speaker 8 Okay, two IPAs. Thank you.

Speaker 7 Hey, Frank, my grandpa just called and he wants to know why you're asking around about weird things going on.

Speaker 8 What? Your.

Speaker 27 Where is your grandfather right now?

Speaker 8 Right now?

Speaker 38 Fishing.

Speaker 38 How did.

Speaker 18 Wait, does he have security cameras up in this place or something?

Speaker 8 I don't know. Maybe.
Okay.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 16 Everybody.

Speaker 18 Can you cut the music for a second, Deidre?

Speaker 21 Everybody, listen up.

Speaker 16 Everybody.

Speaker 13 Thanks.

Speaker 26 Look,

Speaker 21 I know I just asked Deidre literally a few minutes ago if she's seen anything weird lately.

Speaker 21 That doesn't mean it's a time for people to panic. It was an innocent question.

Speaker 12 It's not anything to worry about.

Speaker 32 Did you hear about Celeste raccoons?

Speaker 36 Standing up like a man.

Speaker 22 Yep, yep.

Speaker 25 And that's not what I'm talking about at all.

Speaker 11 Raccoons

Speaker 26 do weird things,

Speaker 21 right?

Speaker 27 We've all seen it, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Speaker 14 What are you talking about, though?

Speaker 13 Are you going to help me here?

Speaker 14 This is what happens when you don't discuss things with me beforehand.

Speaker 15 Frank, we all live here, okay? If there's something you're not telling us, I feel like we have a right to know what it is.

Speaker 32 And if it involves snowplows.

Speaker 13 It doesn't involve

Speaker 39 snowplows.

Speaker 30 Doug?

Speaker 32 Is this about the secret military base?

Speaker 18 Look, there's no secret military base.

Speaker 32 I mean, very nature of a secret military base is that you don't know about it.

Speaker 36 Will their transmissions break into my radio station sometimes?

Speaker 8 Nope. No.

Speaker 15 No, they don't.

Speaker 14 I'm with Celeste. I think they've got one of those listening stations hidden around the other side of the mound.

Speaker 17 That's what it is.

Speaker 36 A listening station.

Speaker 23 Really?

Speaker 22 Can either of you tell me what a listening station is?

Speaker 8 It's uh

Speaker 14 it's where they listen to.

Speaker 22 No, you can't.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 21 you you can't say it's nearby if you don't know what it is Agree to disagree Frank.

Speaker 32 You can't start asking us about weird shit going on without telling us why never mind Okay,

Speaker 13 okay

Speaker 21 Forget I said anything. I'm not asking about anything.

Speaker 12 I'm not curious.

Speaker 25 I'm not suspicious. I'm nothing.
Okay.

Speaker 25 I'm Frank.

Speaker 31 I'm I'm sitting here at the bar having a beer.

Speaker 28 That's it.

Speaker 28 No weird shit is going on.

Speaker 21 Everything's fine.

Speaker 25 Everything's normal.

Speaker 38 What was that?

Speaker 14 Those gunshots?

Speaker 8 Wait, what is that?

Speaker 28 Hunters?

Speaker 18 Doug, when is hunting season?

Speaker 13 Not till October.

Speaker 13 Oh.

Speaker 13 Also,

Speaker 13 that's not a rifle.

Speaker 20 Doug,

Speaker 16 what do you mean?

Speaker 37 It wasn't a rifle?

Speaker 13 Sounded more like a pistol.

Speaker 14 Is Flat Doug a gun person?

Speaker 8 He is.

Speaker 14 A guy with his kind of luck should not be a gun person.

Speaker 28 Have you ever tried to get a gun person to not be a gun person?

Speaker 25 Wait, where is it coming from?

Speaker 15 I think it's over that way.

Speaker 36 No, it's the other way.

Speaker 8 You're hearing the echo.

Speaker 15 I think you're hearing the echo.

Speaker 13 That's definitely a pistol.

Speaker 32 Colt 45, I think.

Speaker 14 It's getting closer.

Speaker 7 Is anyone else hearing a horse?

Speaker 34 What the hell? Oh, shit. Over there.

Speaker 40 You'll never catch me, Lawman.

Speaker 13 Everybody down.

Speaker 13 What the hell is happening?

Speaker 34 When do we have outlaws? Deidre, get down!

Speaker 40 Relentless Rick don't surrender for nothing.

Speaker 7 That's Relentless Rick.

Speaker 39 What?

Speaker 7 That's...

Speaker 7 He's a bandit.

Speaker 15 Why is he breaking into the sporting goods store?

Speaker 38 Deidre, what are you talking about?

Speaker 13 About Relentless Rick.

Speaker 7 He, uh,

Speaker 7 he robbed the cash cash stores of timber companies.

Speaker 2 Robbed past tense?

Speaker 8 Uh-huh.

Speaker 7 Um, in the 1850s?

Speaker 31 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 14 Hey, Frank, I found something weird.

Speaker 17 Just wait for the store to open.

Speaker 18 Why is he breaking into the sporting goods store?

Speaker 14 Maybe he's having a sporting goods emergency.

Speaker 7 The sporting goods store used to be a holding station for a timber company. They kept the payroll there.

Speaker 28 Is there anybody in there?

Speaker 20 No, it's the offseason.

Speaker 32 Jeremiah's got the place closed up until September.

Speaker 15 Is this some kind of historical reenactment thing? Like, for tourists?

Speaker 15 Because I was thinking of doing something like that. That's my intellectual property in there.

Speaker 27 That's not how intellectual property works, Steve.

Speaker 8 Frank,

Speaker 7 what's going on?

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 14 Everybody, listen up. When Frank was asking about weird shit going on, this is what he was talking about.
Some sort of Wild West character riding a house through town shooting a gun.

Speaker 14 Okay, weird, right? This is what he meant.

Speaker 21 What the fuck is he doing now?

Speaker 14 I think he's shooting Jeremiah's sake.

Speaker 32 Are we just gonna let him go crazy in there?

Speaker 30 Where is Jeremiah?

Speaker 36 He's a paralegal in Eugene during the offseason.

Speaker 14 Jeremiah?

Speaker 2 The paralegal?

Speaker 36 Helped me file for divorce number two.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 25 Okay, can someone get Jeremiah on the phone and tell him what's happening?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think we have his number inside.

Speaker 15 What are you gonna do?

Speaker 29 I guess I'm going to go talk to him.

Speaker 13 You got a gun, Frank.

Speaker 21 Well, he hasn't hit anything yet.

Speaker 2 I'm coming with you.

Speaker 15 No, stay here.

Speaker 14 No, shut up.

Speaker 8 I'm coming with you. Fine.

Speaker 28 Everyone else, stay here.

Speaker 36 Frank, what the hell is going on?

Speaker 34 Okay.

Speaker 35 Okay.

Speaker 15 June's right.

Speaker 28 This

Speaker 28 is the weird shit I was talking about.

Speaker 16 Okay?

Speaker 18 Things may start getting a little weird in town.

Speaker 28 I can't really explain why, just

Speaker 18 we're going to figure this out, okay?

Speaker 18 Stay here.

Speaker 27 June and I are going to talk to it.

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Speaker 27 Okay, okay, so we're in agreement that this is not some history nut, that this is the actual guy.

Speaker 14 Oh, yeah!

Speaker 21 That's the guy! And what was his name again?

Speaker 14 Relentless Rick!

Speaker 18 Oh, for fuck's sake.

Speaker 28 This is not the type of weirdness I was expecting.

Speaker 14 You know what's funny? This is not the weirdest thing to happen to us in the last 24 hours.

Speaker 30 That's a good way of looking at it.

Speaker 14 We're nowhere near 1,000 Hyundai Sonata's territory, though I wasn't expecting any weird shit we saw to be this

Speaker 20 root and tootin'.

Speaker 29 Any idea how to appeal to an outlaw from the 1850s?

Speaker 14 I don't know. Whiskey, prostitutes,

Speaker 14 hand-rolled cigarettes?

Speaker 8 Who's there?

Speaker 18 Hey there, it's Rick, right?

Speaker 40 That ain't my name.

Speaker 37 Relentless, Rick?

Speaker 40 That's me.

Speaker 12 Okay, Rick, there's not any money in there.

Speaker 40 I'm looking at a safe right now. You telling me there ain't no money in it?

Speaker 37 It's empty.

Speaker 33 It's empty, right?

Speaker 13 I guess so.

Speaker 37 Yeah, it's empty.

Speaker 28 They empty it out in the offseason and they take it to a bank in the city.

Speaker 40 There ain't no bank in this city.

Speaker 20 Oh, shit. Really?

Speaker 14 Get it together, 1850s, Oregon.

Speaker 28 Who in the heck are you?

Speaker 25 I'm Frank.

Speaker 16 hotel in town.

Speaker 25 Hotel?

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 40 They got a damn hotel in this town now?

Speaker 16 They do.

Speaker 40 This place is going straight to hell.

Speaker 14 It really is, Rick.

Speaker 28 Who's the lady?

Speaker 14 I'm June.

Speaker 15 Hi.

Speaker 14 I run the uh

Speaker 8 dress shop.

Speaker 40 They got a damn hotel and a damn dress shop now?

Speaker 2 Sure do.

Speaker 40 That's a damn shame. Used to be nothing but trees around here.

Speaker 14 That's good news for you, Rick. It's really hard to rob a tree.

Speaker 40 Hell, I guess that's right.

Speaker 28 So, uh, uh, Rick, Rick, you've got a lot of people really scared out here.

Speaker 40 Well, they should be, darn it. If I don't get this safe open, I'm going to have to use my last stick of dynamite.
I was saving it for a special occasion. Uh,

Speaker 27 no dynamite, Rick.

Speaker 37 Really bad idea.

Speaker 14 Rick, the safe is empty.

Speaker 40 Ma'am, I've been all over this territory and I ain't never seen an empty safe. You know, get yourself a safe so you can just sit there empty.

Speaker 14 It's a fair point, actually.

Speaker 14 Also, he called me ma'am.

Speaker 39 Classic.

Speaker 12 Deidre, did you get Jeremiah on the phone?

Speaker 7 Yeah, um, I'm on with him right now.

Speaker 11 Okay, tell him we need the combination to the safe.

Speaker 39 Why?

Speaker 21 We need to show him that it's empty.

Speaker 7 Oh, um,

Speaker 8 okay.

Speaker 26 Uh, Rick.

Speaker 21 Listen, we're going to get you the combination to the safe so you can see it's empty, okay?

Speaker 21 No dynamite, Rick.

Speaker 40 Y'all better hurry up.

Speaker 7 36, 22, 31.

Speaker 18 Okay, Rick, it's 36,

Speaker 29 22,

Speaker 13 31.

Speaker 40 I ain't never opened a safe with the combination before.

Speaker 20 Aw, bless his heart.

Speaker 11 Go right,

Speaker 11 then

Speaker 11 left,

Speaker 25 then right.

Speaker 25 Right.

Speaker 25 Left.

Speaker 25 Right.

Speaker 30 Well, shit.

Speaker 40 See? What in the hell is a safe doing here empty?

Speaker 20 I know.

Speaker 22 It's like you were saying, Rick.

Speaker 20 The whole town's going to hell.

Speaker 8 Rick! Rick!

Speaker 2 Rick, come on, man.

Speaker 14 You're just wasting bullets now. I'm sure they're expensive.

Speaker 14 Shit.

Speaker 14 Rick?

Speaker 14 Rick, you sound a little desperate in there.

Speaker 14 Are you on the run from a.

Speaker 13 What do they call it? A posse?

Speaker 2 A posse, that's it.

Speaker 14 Rick,

Speaker 14 are you on the run from a posse?

Speaker 14 I can almost guarantee they're not gonna find you.

Speaker 20 Oh my god, please.

Speaker 28 God, don't let a posse start riding through town.

Speaker 14 Rick,

Speaker 14 what's going on?

Speaker 14 You sound like a sad little cowboy in there.

Speaker 14 What are you running from, Rick?

Speaker 30 Progress.

Speaker 2 Progress?

Speaker 20 Progress.

Speaker 13 Deidre!

Speaker 39 What? When did Oregon become a state?

Speaker 7 A state? Yeah.

Speaker 7 1859.

Speaker 8 Progress. Progress.

Speaker 14 Hey, Rick. Rick, are you worried about the Oregon Territory becoming a state?

Speaker 40 As soon as they sign in papers, I'm going to have U.S. Marshals hit it right up my ass.

Speaker 14 That's a striking visual, Rick. But are you sure that's true?

Speaker 40 What happened in California? As soon as as they joined up, I ran north. You think I want to be here? I hate the rain.

Speaker 14 Yeah, it's a lot.

Speaker 14 You try and tell people it rains a lot, but they just don't hear you.

Speaker 40 I feel like I ain't been dry in seven years.

Speaker 38 My heart goes out to this guy. How many people has he killed?

Speaker 14 Hey, don't do that to Rick. He has one skill.
Banditry. What is he supposed to do?

Speaker 26 Oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 25 Should we talk to him about community college?

Speaker 14 But what was the plan, Rick?

Speaker 40 Same as everybody else in my line of work.

Speaker 14 Canada? Canada and you needed one last score?

Speaker 18 It's about the size of it.

Speaker 29 What do you want to do start a GoFundMe for the time-traveling cowboy?

Speaker 14 How much did you need, Rick?

Speaker 40 More than you got on you, ma'am.

Speaker 14 Okay, let's run some numbers. Let's see what we can do.

Speaker 40 $75.

Speaker 14 $75.

Speaker 24 That's right.

Speaker 14 $75

Speaker 14 will get you to Canada and get you set up with a new life.

Speaker 40 By my estimations.

Speaker 14 God, inflation is real.

Speaker 20 Everybody, everybody, come here.

Speaker 15 I'm not going over there.

Speaker 2 He has a gun.

Speaker 18 Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he used all his bullets on the safe. Come here.

Speaker 2 What are you doing?

Speaker 28 Have you got $75 on you?

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 38 How much do you have?

Speaker 2 11. Great.

Speaker 28 That's a start. Give it here.

Speaker 34 We're giving him the money?

Speaker 21 We give him the money, and he'll at least get out of town and be Canada's problem.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 11 What are we doing?

Speaker 28 We need $75. How much cash do you have?

Speaker 26 Oh, like $8.

Speaker 7 Five. I could check my tip jar, but it's kind of early in the day.

Speaker 23 Great, great.

Speaker 15 Steve?

Speaker 9 I don't carry cash.

Speaker 18 You're a drug dealer.

Speaker 15 I am many. Thanks, thank you.
Steve? I'm 100% Venmo now.

Speaker 29 How were you all drinking at the bar just now?

Speaker 7 They're all on a tab.

Speaker 30 Of course, they are.

Speaker 13 Okay, Deidre.

Speaker 28 Can you get $75 out of the till? Tell TJ I'll pay him back.

Speaker 14 And a bottle of whiskey. Preferably one with no label and a cork in it.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 14 Rick, we're going to try to help you out, okay?

Speaker 40 This ain't the typical reaction when I come to town firing my gun.

Speaker 14 Well, it's like you said, Rick, the whole town's going to hell.

Speaker 40 Y'all going to pay me to leave town?

Speaker 14 We are, but don't take it personally, Rick.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 7 Here's the money.

Speaker 7 We didn't have any bottles without labels, so I got the bottle of old granddad

Speaker 7 because it honestly sounded the old-timiest.

Speaker 14 Great work, Deidre.

Speaker 20 Give it here.

Speaker 29 You're going in there? Yeah.

Speaker 14 I'm going to go hang out with the bandit.

Speaker 27 And then encourage him to leave town.

Speaker 34 Of course.

Speaker 18 Right? June, he does not get to crash on your couch.

Speaker 14 Oh, relax. Rick, I'm coming in.

Speaker 14 Hey there, cowboy.

Speaker 40 Ma'am.

Speaker 2 Here we go.

Speaker 14 $75.

Speaker 40 I can't believe y'all are just giving me money.

Speaker 14 Consider it a severance package from America.

Speaker 2 A what now? Never mind.

Speaker 14 Here, have some whiskey.

Speaker 30 Obliged.

Speaker 40 What in the hell is all this?

Speaker 15 Skiing gear.

Speaker 40 Ski-ing?

Speaker 14 Yeah, it's um.

Speaker 14 You see these here?

Speaker 14 You go to the top of the mountain, you strap these to your feet, and then you go down the side of the mountain.

Speaker 14 Very fast.

Speaker 40 That sounds ill-advised.

Speaker 14 You rob people for a living, Rick.

Speaker 40 Suppose I ain't one to talk, am I?

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 14 Rick, you're a bona fide-y crime doer.

Speaker 8 Ski-ing.

Speaker 40 The world keeps changing on me.

Speaker 14 You You ever get that feeling?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 All the time.

Speaker 14 That's why I live way up here.

Speaker 14 It seems like big changes are happening in the city first,

Speaker 14 and then they make their way out here. At least that way I can see them coming.
I don't have to wake up one morning and suddenly everything's different.

Speaker 14 My mom worked a lot, and my dad was always out on a fishing boat, so I never really knew what to expect when I woke up in the morning. Living up here

Speaker 14 gives me a little lead time.

Speaker 40 I always knew what to expect of my daddy.

Speaker 8 That's nice.

Speaker 40 Expected him to be drunk. Aww.
Drove me out of the house when I was 11 years old. Figured I knew how to ride a horse, shoot a gun.
What else do I need to know?

Speaker 14 How to drive a stick?

Speaker 40 Now, look, everything's about to be the United States around here. I know how to operate in a land.
It's got laws. How am I supposed to keep track of them all?

Speaker 14 Does seem to be a lot of them.

Speaker 40 I gotta figure out how to be a galdern Canadian. I ain't learning no French.
That's for damn sure.

Speaker 14 Maybe you like it up there.

Speaker 40 I don't even know what they do up there. What transpires in Canada?

Speaker 14 I think it's mostly beaver hunting and syrup making at this point.

Speaker 30 Well, now that's just sad. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I guess so. Always a white Christmas, though.

Speaker 40 Maybe I'll get one of them furry hats.

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 14 Grow a beard, hunt a moose.

Speaker 4 Get weird with it, Rick.

Speaker 40 Might not be so bad.

Speaker 14 Actually, the national motto of Canada: might not be so bad.

Speaker 40 Maybe I'll learn a little French.

Speaker 14 Maybe just a word or two. You never know.

Speaker 40 I appreciate y'all helping me out.

Speaker 14 Don't mention it.

Speaker 14 Come on outside and say hello to everyone before you go.

Speaker 8 Yeah, all right.

Speaker 14 Everyone,

Speaker 14 this is Relentless Rick, the soon-to-be Canadian.

Speaker 40 Afternoon, all.

Speaker 40 Sorry about the mess.

Speaker 7 Is

Speaker 7 that actually...

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Yes, it is.

Speaker 4 I'm freaking out over here, man.

Speaker 20 Just keep it together, Doug.

Speaker 15 I've never seen anyone wear that much leather.

Speaker 40 I have. I'm all turned around.
Which way's north?

Speaker 16 That way.

Speaker 22 Just keep the sun on your right in the morning, on your left in the afternoon, and eventually you'll hit Canada.

Speaker 8 All right, y'all.

Speaker 8 I'd uh

Speaker 40 I'd consider it a personal favor if you wouldn't tell nobody about this. Not embarrassing for an outlaw to be receiving charity.

Speaker 14 We promised to tell them you robbed us.

Speaker 40 Thank you kindly, ma'am. Let's ride.

Speaker 40 Shit.

Speaker 7 He disappeared.

Speaker 17 I'm glad everybody else saw that.

Speaker 13 Oh, what the hell, Frank? Okay.

Speaker 16 Okay, everybody, listen.

Speaker 15 I want to get out in front of this. I have not toast anyone.
I don't do that anymore. I'm an adult now.

Speaker 18 We know, Steve.

Speaker 12 Look, everyone,

Speaker 28 we've got a lot to talk about, so let's head back inside and we'll all talk about it.

Speaker 11 Okay?

Speaker 28 Suffice to say,

Speaker 29 things may get a little weird.

Speaker 35 for a while.

Speaker 11 We're going to be okay.

Speaker 28 We'll take it as it comes, just like we we did today.

Speaker 28 Let's go.

Speaker 8 So, drinks are on you then?

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 18 Yeah, Celeste, sure.

Speaker 13 Come on.

Speaker 14 I have brought beers of celebration.

Speaker 27 Thank you.

Speaker 14 Nice work today, cousin.

Speaker 10 Thank you again.

Speaker 14 You handled it like a champ.

Speaker 2 So did you.

Speaker 14 I must say, I really jumped in there, didn't I? Hanging out with outlaws. Look at me.

Speaker 34 Look at you.

Speaker 14 Remember when we would watch Babylon 5? Yes.

Speaker 22 Why can't that be my life?

Speaker 14 I said that all the time, but now look.

Speaker 27 It's like you've been training for this.

Speaker 14 Exactly. It's the sci-fi nerds that you turn to when the weird shit hits the weird fan.

Speaker 8 Never forget.

Speaker 13 I won't.

Speaker 28 But still, let's hope today was it, though.

Speaker 18 Maybe there was just some residual

Speaker 22 something, and now it's dumb.

Speaker 2 Borry!

Speaker 14 Oh, hey, here's an idea. There's a customer coming up to the door right now.
Let's judge if the weird shit is over. Buy this next customer.

Speaker 21 Fine.

Speaker 5 What are they driving?

Speaker 14 They appear to be on foot.

Speaker 28 That doesn't bode well for me.

Speaker 14 It doesn't. doesn't.

Speaker 16 Hey there, welcome to the horizon.

Speaker 8 Thanks.

Speaker 13 Need a room?

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 16 Why not?

Speaker 18 Well, we're in the off-season, so you've got your pick of all of them.

Speaker 26 How about room seven?

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 14 It's our best one.

Speaker 20 Great. Just tonight?

Speaker 29 How l how long are you staying?

Speaker 41 Um.

Speaker 8 Not sure, actually.

Speaker 35 No problem.

Speaker 22 Can I get a credit card to keep on file?

Speaker 8 Oh, uh,

Speaker 41 uh mind if I do

Speaker 24 the other thing?

Speaker 3 The other

Speaker 13 cash?

Speaker 7 That's it.

Speaker 8 Yes, cash.

Speaker 31 Sure.

Speaker 10 Uh I need a two hundred dollar deposit, though.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 34 Will that work?

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 29 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 22 Key is in the bedside table.

Speaker 18 Ice machine is between three and four.

Speaker 40 Okay, thanks.

Speaker 14 What's your name?

Speaker 8 Verge.

Speaker 14 Nice to meet you. I'm June.
That's Frank.

Speaker 18 Hi.

Speaker 22 Enjoy your stay and let us know if you need anything.

Speaker 8 Sure.

Speaker 41 Good night.

Speaker 14 Bye-bye.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 13 See, it's totally normal.

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