Patreon Drop! Shift Notes Chapter 38: Welcome to the Triad

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Hi, folks.

It's Joe.

How are you?

I hope your summer's going well.

We are hard at work right now over at Midnight Burger headquarters doing many things.

Actually, we're putting together season five, working on the live show we're going to have in Chicago.

And one of the things that we are hard at work on is also what we do in the hiatus.

And one of those things is Shift Notes.

Shift Notes is a show that we do every hiatus.

We We go each episode and we do a deep dive of our own show, kind of the equivalent of director's commentary, but with a lot more stopping and starting and

a lot more tangents.

And we have cast members come on and join us sometimes.

And

famously, historically, we have always taken one of those episodes of Shift Notes and put it on our public feed.

And this is that episode.

This is myself and Finley and Jessica Morris, who plays Kazi and Older Burt Burt and multiple other characters on the show.

And she comes in and we talk about chapter 38.

Welcome to the Triad.

We had a great time.

So we are putting this episode here on the public feed for you to enjoy.

If you would like to hear more of these, we're about to wrap up season four of Shift Notes on our Patreon.

You can go there.

You can listen to all four seasons of Shift Notes, which is just us talking about the show and sometimes not talking about the show at all because we get distracted by things and I decide that it's time to talk about,

you know, alligator snapping turtles or something like that.

Anyway, it's a fun time.

We hope you enjoy it.

And if you'd like to hear more, you can see a link to our Patreon in the show notes.

Other than that, we'll have some announcements coming up later this summer about when we're coming back and what you can expect from season five.

Until then, though, we hope you enjoy this episode of Chef Notes for Chapter 38.

Welcome to the Triad.

So I remember I was

talking to Ben,

and Ben and I were talking about a play of mine that he was set to direct.

And he was like,

I really want this girl that I'm dating to be in it.

And I was like,

great.

You know, that sounds great.

Now, internally, there is no more frightening phrase to hear from your director than there's this girl I'm dating and I'd like for her to be in the show.

We started rehearsals, and I was like, oh my God.

You didn't say she was the greatest actor on the face of the planet.

So luckily that all worked out.

And that was you, of course.

We were doing a play called In the Canopy of the Forest in the middle of Los Angeles, California.

And here we are now, which is crazy.

Yes.

Bonkers, bonkers, bonkers.

So many levels of crazy.

So many.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Shift Notes.

I am here with Finley Stevenson, my co-producer Finley Stevenson.

Finally Stevenson, how are you?

I'm good.

Honey, we're here with Jessica Morris.

Yes, we are.

Hi, you guys.

Who is here?

Greatest actress of all time.

It is true.

It was a stunning performance.

Look, I'm not going to talk about it too much because we're talking about a thing that no one knows, no one experienced who is listening to the show currently.

But anyway, it was a phenomenal performance.

And it was one of those great sighs of relief that the person Ben was talking about actually turned out to be a fucking phenomenal actor.

Well, and it's a fucking great play, too.

People should know about it, as they should know about Wolf Inside the Fence, which is maybe one of my favorite plays of all time.

So.

Yeah.

Are you sure?

There's a lot of good plays out there, Jessica.

No,

I'm sticking to it.

I'm sticking to it.

I know you're good at stuff.

So we are here.

Jessica's here.

I can't believe it's taken us this long to get you in here to be on Shift Notes because you have been with us since episode five.

Five.

Right?

Yep.

Unfortunately, what I remember most from episode five is Ben's hair.

Do you remember this?

What I remember about episode five is Ben sounding vaguely like he was drunk or might go off script at any moment.

I assumed that he was.

I mean, that was just an assumption that I was making.

But

yeah, it was you were, you and Ben were recording on the same mic, I think, right?

You were recording on the same mic because you didn't have any scenes together recording on the same mic.

And for some reason, Ben kept like putting his hands through his hair and his hair just kept going up

and out

throughout the evening, which really contributed to Officer Valfiline for some reason.

But we were also performing on the same mic because neither of us had ever entered into this podcast world before.

And if I'm not mistaken, I don't think it even occurred to us.

that we had to have separate headphones.

We had no idea what we were doing.

I mean, yeah, right.

Us two.

It was weird because it was like, come do this thing with us.

What is it?

We don't really know.

We'll figure it out.

We just kind of do it and it seems to work out fine.

And we felt so fancy when you guys, do you guys remember you sent us our first podcasting microphones in the mail?

That's right.

Yes.

Yeah.

And that's when we knew we had made it.

That's right.

When you get your first, you know, it was a special one too.

It wasn't a blue snowball.

It was a black snowball.

Right.

Right.

It was the extra special one.

You paid to pay $20 extra for those

for some reason.

Right.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're here.

Me too.

We are going to be talking about chapter 38, Welcome to the Triad.

I remember finishing this episode and listening to the first playback, and I was like, damn.

Because there was this weird feeling with this episode specifically.

I was like, did we just make a movie?

Yeah.

There was this weird...

like fit like we made a film you know what i mean i don't know why that was exactly maybe because it was so disconnected from the rest of the story or something like that.

There's also something about like Burt Bert's narration taking us through the entire thing where you've got kind of like a framing device.

Yeah, there's a there's a completely that's true.

There's a completely different framing device with this episode than with the other episodes.

That's a very good point.

But

I had a wonderful time making it with all of you.

I did too.

It was also a trifecta of Burt Bert's, which was

that's right.

We had another Burt Bird trifecta.

Our first

Bert Bert trifecta was in the Young Lafe episode where we had you,

original Bert Bert, and then we had second generation Bert Bert with Lauren, and then we had Shelly, whose username is Bert Bert, and who initially inserted her name.

And we did that again with this episode.

Always a good sign.

It's like it's like, you know, one of those, like, when you're a sailor and you do things that are like good tidings.

Right.

When you have three Bert Berts in your recording, you always know it's going to go well you know what i mean anyway it was uh yeah it was it was a it was a joyful experience for sure so

you are currently in a room in a college somewhere

so that we may be interrupted by a janitor maybe at some point i i hope not i've signed out the room like a good you know a college professor and i'm hopeful nobody will interrupt us but we'll see but i but if at any point you want me to film anything there's a full green screen

and several uh you know like lighting devices.

And that's exciting.

Yeah.

So if you want to make it multimedia, we could do that at any point.

You know, yeah, why not make it more complicated?

That's really what we're doing.

Right, exactly.

You know, right.

Sure.

Should we just jump in?

What do you say?

Sure.

Sure.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Previously on Midnight Burger.

I don't know if you know this, Casper, but we're kind of a big deal out there in the system.

We are revered.

We are feared.

The name the Sisters strikes fear into the hearts of fascist shitheads everywhere.

The sisters.

Please don't be scared of my sisters.

They're pretty intense.

My name is Kazi.

That was my sister, Tita.

She's about to get our other sister, Lubuza.

We have 116 refugees with us.

Your other two sisters are fugitives because of the science they study.

You're a fugitive because, what?

You just like guns and crime?

Well, I do like guns and crime, Casper.

That's not why I'm a fugitive.

You can really do that.

You can

predict the future.

Well, I found you, didn't I?

I designed most parts of my body.

Anything cool, like claws?

I have a claw.

You don't want to see it.

You're very astute for a young person.

I'm older than I look.

Amazing.

Hello there.

Terrifying monolithic alien technology.

This is because of your father.

Yes.

Who was he?

Kroc.

Kroc.

A long time ago, the galaxies were ruled by warlords.

Warlords and conquerors.

They had fleets of ships, and they would hop from star system to star system, claiming territory.

Our father was one of them.

How did you go from that to being fugitives?

A new age got ushered in.

An age of warp gates and commerce and politics and all of it run by

shitheads.

I love it when Kazi tries to say earth words.

I do too.

It doesn't, you know, doesn't want to, but feels like she kind of has to in this moment, you know, and it's like she's handling something gross.

She understands it's the right word, but she's got a smelly fish by the tail, just kind of putting it over there.

Yeah, it's one of the few moments Kazi's voice actually goes up in reference.

Yeah,

absolutely.

It's like handling actual shit.

Exactly.

So no one's explained to me yet how a man has three daughters on three different planets.

That doesn't make any sense.

He had multiple children on multiple planets.

Sounds like a busy guy.

He was a very busy guy.

But none of that matters anymore because you are off to a new world.

That's right.

Cryptesia.

We make the world, Casper.

Not those before us.

Let's start the shift.

You know what I mean?

It's a serious Let's Start the Shift episode, right?

Plus, the Frisia music.

But yeah, it was very something very different was happening and everybody was confused again.

It was very exciting.

Your favorite.

My favorite.

No matter how majestic something is, it can always become commonplace.

The things we encounter every day and now hardly notice are the things our ancestors would have considered miraculous.

We all carry algorithmic helpers in our pockets.

We travel on starships, and from time to time, those starships go through warp gates.

The warp gates, or TED tubes, as they are sometimes unfortunately called, have become the hallmark of the age in which we currently find ourselves.

An age of interconnected worlds.

An age where three galaxies are suddenly at your doorstep.

We all remember our first time going through one.

The unsettling feeling in your stomach when you start to pass through a fold in the fabric of space.

That bizarre elation when you emerge on the other side of the galaxy under a star field you suddenly don't recognize.

Miraculous, our ancestors would say.

I'm the type of person who does this like

presently, you know what I mean?

Like there was like a sort of marvel, like thinking about like the things we have now and how our ancestors would think that it's

like.

I've done that throughout my life at things that are currently here, you know what what I mean?

Like, I remember, like, I, like, I would be, and this was like,

like, I was worried that this was an old man thing, but I've done this all my life.

You know what I mean?

But it, it's, so, like, I would, like, be on the freeway, and I would be like,

everybody's going so fast right now.

I know, right.

You know what I mean?

Like, I would be like, is this okay for us to be going this fast?

I did that yesterday on the 405 because I hardly ever take the 405 because it's the worst highway in the world.

In the world, sure.

And I had to be on the 405 and I was like, what are we doing?

It's all, we're all going incredibly fast, surrounded by metal.

Hopefully,

you know, and this is something that should not be astounding to me, but for me, I've always been like, God, this is just too, we're going too fast right now.

You know what I mean?

Or getting on an airplane on a massive, you know, piece of metal that somehow is going to, my kids kids still, I think, are amazed by

any of the aerodynamics.

You're at the airport and like a plane takes off, and you think to yourself, there's just these, just tons of metal in the sky

flying around.

You know what I mean?

And I write science fiction.

Right.

I shouldn't be shocked by these things, but there it is.

And then

when you log on to like all of the planes that are flying in America at the moment, you know, one of those maps, I'm just like, that's so much metal in the sky.

It shouldn't be up there.

You know what I mean?

Bad idea.

Or even like, because you know, you have that little candle that's like an old-timey Nordic-looking candle

in your office next to

a television that you use for a monitor.

And so every time I see them together, I'm like, prairie times.

If they saw our TV.

Right.

Yeah.

Let me, let me explain.

Okay.

So I have a lamp, essentially.

I have a lamp that is designed.

You've seen them online, I'm sure, listeners.

Okay.

It's a lamp that like looks like a candle.

Looks like it's like a thin pipe, and then there's a little light at the top, and you touch it, and the light comes on, and it's got a little I'm Ebenezer Scrooge kind of holder on it, and you can walk around the house looking for the ghost of Christmas present and all that stuff.

Lighting your way.

Right.

So I have one of those.

Really nice little caps.

Wear a stocking cap.

Like a

you know, know, my birthday's coming up, I'm sure.

Night shirt.

That we're talking about.

A long, like, night shirt, nightgown.

Long night shirt.

Long cap, Nordic candle.

Anyway, right next to that is a television.

How big is this television that I used?

I think it's almost 60 inches.

It's a 57.

I may have turned a 60-inch television into my monitor that I use to make

Midnight Burger.

Right.

He definitely did that.

I am looking at it right now.

Hilariously, you guys are just a tiny corner of that screen.

Thank goodness.

But like above you is like my waveform that I'm recording on, and then over here is the episode, and then there's my text messages about 50 feet away from me over there.

It's ridiculous, but it's phenomenal and the best choice I've ever made creatively for the show.

Anyway, the juxtaposition of my Nordic candle and my gigantic space television

is fun for all ages.

It's fun.

Right?

Anyway, I've always been this way about technology, is what my point was.

That I'm always just like, none of this should be happening right now.

This all looks like a bad idea.

And yet I'm constantly writing stories about the future.

Anyway, the Ted Empire, who has exclusive rights to the system, has brushed these issues off in its usual manner and has continued building its massive energy harnessing structure around this very rare celestial object.

It was only after constant hounding from the CGN Council of Truth and Understanding that the Ted Empire finally agreed to allow a few of us onto a press barge to view the star and the massive structure currently being constructed around it.

This brings me back to my original point.

The forgotten majesty of the things we've gotten used to.

As we orbited Bilius, I was reminded of this majesty.

The pure insanity of building something so massive that it could completely encircle and obscure a massive star.

Honey, I really need you to stop me from using the word massive three times in one paragraph.

All right.

I usually do.

We were in the middle of recording it and Lauren's there doing a great job and I'm like, holy shit, I use the word massive like 15 times in one paragraph.

It's really embarrassing.

But it's like, wait, I didn't want to, I didn't want to stop because you don't want to stop because it's like, you never know.

You know, you got to keep going, got to keep the flow moving.

And she she was doing it she was doing it she committed to every single one of those 15 000 words massives that were in there

but that is my fault i'm sorry it's not no it's my fault because i can count things you know what i mean but you are there please prevent me from making that mistake in the future i will so many massives

so many of them

it's okay so many massives good to have embarrassing moments like that it keeps you humble You know what I mean?

That's right.

You're welcome.

Oh, stop.

One of my favorite things to think about when I listen to these is what an expert you've become on sourcing sound effects.

I'm serious.

I can't imagine, you know, you thought that this was something you were going to be doing as you were writing plays.

It was, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just got out of playwriting school.

Right.

And I was like, I'm so excited to like dig through sound effects banks for hours.

You know what I mean?

Quick does, you know, sound on the topic of sound design, quick sound design tip.

If you're going to blow up something that is the size of a star,

You're not going to be able to capture that in audio.

Okay.

There's no sound that you could possibly use that's going to really give you that, oh my God, the star is exploding feeling.

So do it from inside the perspective of the ship where the thing is exploding.

Have the reactions of the people inside the ship, have the ship shaking, things like that.

Then you let the audience imagine what it's like and you're there sort of in the ship and

you'll probably be better served.

You know what I mean?

That's so smart.

It's always cut away from something cool.

Okay.

Don't show the alien.

Never show the alien.

Never show the alien, okay?

It's great that the shark doesn't work.

Exactly.

The movie's only good because the shark doesn't work.

How you create a tight psychological thriller is absolutely.

Yeah.

Bruce can't

function.

That's right.

Was the shark's name?

Was the shark's name Bruce sometimes?

Yes, the shark's name was Bruce.

His name was Bruce.

Yes, a little callback in, what was it, finding Nemo to the Australian sharks.

Bruce.

Bruce.

Yeah.

That's great.

Yes.

So, yeah, shout out to Bruce.

Sad to know that.

If this massive explosion of a megastructure had obliterated me, my last words would have just been, oh, fuck.

And not something cooler.

I certainly should have been obliterated by the debris field from an explosion so massive, but luckily.

An explosion so what?

You know what I mean?

This is like a drinking game.

We should start the drinking game for everybody to know.

Yeah, if you want to get ripped wasted in the first 10 minutes of an episode.

I cannot believe I missed this because this is like one of my biggest pet peeves.

Apparently not.

I'm so sorry, honey.

I'll see myself out.

No, no.

It's not your fault.

It is, again, it is not your fault.

It is my fault for using the word massive so many times.

But

it's

such a massive fuck-up.

The worst part is that here we are at the beginning of this episode.

I know I'm going to use this word again.

I know it's going to happen again.

And I just have to sit here and take it.

It's going to be rough.

It's going to be a rough night.

Well, there's only so many words for it because, like,

gargantuan is just funny.

Yeah, you can't say it.

Gargantuan doesn't really do it.

Bohemoth, it just sounds weird.

Yeah.

I mean,

big doesn't do it.

Giant.

Yeah.

Elephantine?

No.

No.

Elephantine.

I think that implies a little more than just large.

It is.

It is rough.

This brings me back to one of my main frustrations, which there is a word that I think I hate the most that doesn't have a real substitute.

Oh, what?

What is it?

We've talked about this before, and that word is rural.

Okay.

I hate the word rural.

Everyone does.

And there's no word that really can take the place of it.

You could say pastoral, but that's not the same thing as rural.

Pastoral feels like there's a French made with a wheelbarrow.

Yeah, it's more idyllic, for sure.

Yeah.

Rural is a different experience, and there's no word that really takes...

We're going to send it out to the listeners.

Listeners.

Give me, please, a synonym for rural that feels like what I'm talking about.

You know what I mean?

It's It's a vibe thing.

It's not necessarily like a direct translation thing.

I feel like there might be regional, like we used to say country in Florida.

We could say country woods.

But I do feel like that's not, it doesn't apply to all applications of rural.

It feels like I have like overalls on and a shotgun.

Okay.

All right.

Rural is just like that feeling of like not necessarily scenic farm after farm.

You know what I mean?

Sure.

Rural.

That kind of thing.

It's a very specific thing that only rural works for, and I just hate that word so much.

It's impossible to say.

It doesn't sound good.

Anyway, help me out, Hivemind.

Word experts, send in your suggestions, please.

Words that I can use instead of rural.

There's something I didn't think we'd be talking about on the spaceship.

All right.

I'm here to report on what happened next.

We see that the Ted Empire still has not learned its lesson.

The lesson that their rampant and rancorous expansion will not be without consequence.

The Ted Empire wishes to extend the tendrils of its kingdom to yet another unwitting star system,

subjecting it to the tragedy of unmitigated and unsustainable growth.

But they do not have the right to make the world you live in.

We are the sisters.

we make the world

nobody does righteous indignation like jessica

it really is amazing and it's really hard to do and not feel silly you know what i mean because it it's you know what i mean i love it i also all those great words i get to say rancorous and tendrils and unmitigated all in the same speech that's true it is it's a and yeah so many great words

maybe i should you know, I gave you all those words.

And yet, look, just behind you, couldn't think of another word for big.

Listen, maybe Burt Burt was still learning her craft.

Exactly.

It's a character choice.

She was getting her little journalist legs.

I'm not going to pawn it off as some sort of character choice.

It was just me not working hard enough.

And that's all it is.

All right.

But anyway, yes, it is great to have someone like you in this role because I know what it's great when you know what you can throw at someone.

You know what I mean?

And so throwing, you know, rancorous tendrils and all that.

It's so, it was just like, because writing that, I was just like, she's going to fuck this shit up.

Thank you.

She's going to throw it.

That's some voice training and lots of Shakespeare, I think.

Yeah.

Nice.

Exactly.

See, people don't know.

People think it's just about wearing funny pants, Shakespeare.

No, but it's great training for the rest of your acting experience.

Isn't that right?

Thank you.

Yes, for that Shakespearean PA.

Yes, exactly.

No, it really is true.

You know, it really is true.

Like, even if you hate Shakespeare, studying Shakespeare as an actor

really levels up your bullshit.

Yeah.

And voice stuff.

It's funny.

I was listening to this and thinking about my old vocal coaches' Link Later technique.

If anybody has ever studied LinkedIn Link,

shout out to Link Later.

Yeah, thank you, Kristen Link Later.

Thank you, Kristen.

And while you're terrible, your voice work is great.

While oftentimes I wonder why I took three years of grad school and paid all that money and what it got me.

Sometimes when I'm doing tongue twisters or saying rancorous tendrils, I feel like it may be paid off.

That's right.

Yeah.

All right.

Anyway, yes.

Study your Shakespeare, everyone.

This is Bert Burt, broadcasting on the Under Signal.

Welcome to the Triad.

It's so good, dude.

What is it?

I'm sorry, what?

It's just good.

It's good.

It's great.

We're pausing for a good.

Yes, we're complimenting you.

Yes.

Massively.

Let me say something about the complimenting.

Okay, let me say.

Okay, wow.

First of all,

second of all, let me say something about the complimenting because I was getting rassed about this on the Discord today about my inability to take a compliment.

Was it because Tom gave you so many compliments last time?

No, no, somebody just said, let's compliment Joe a much because it makes him uncomfortable.

You know what I mean?

The kids have grown up

and now they've reached the age where they're making fun of their father.

That's exactly right.

That's exactly what's happened.

And I just want to say, and I've said this before, and this is not resonating, it's just that on the show specifically, you know, it's weird to like, first of all, it's weird to be hosting a show about, like, first of all, okay, first of all,

it's weird to be hosting your own deep dive podcast.

That's weird.

Okay.

And then,

you know, and so then also to just, you know, for it to be about compliments for me, we should make it about other things, like me complimenting you guys, for instance.

Yeah, but you compliment us all the time.

All right, I know.

It's just

we don't we don't get the chance to do it until I mean partially because we get on these recording sessions and we're making movies every single time.

So if we spend too much time complimenting each other, then we're suddenly into six hours of recording time.

So when you invite us onto Shift Notes, we have the rare opportunity to let you know how much we love getting to work on this.

And it's your show.

So you're just going to have to deal with it, I think.

Deal with it.

All right.

I always lose this fight.

I don't know why I keep trying to have this.

Professor Morris has spoken.

Professor.

Also, shout out to Frisia because that just makes the whole vibe.

Yeah, I was going to talk about this later in the episode, but yes,

so, okay, so like another character basically in this episode is the music of Frisia.

Frisia is a couple of friends of mine from high school.

Okay, Nick Huntington and Mike McGrorty.

They are Freesia.

Frischia, we were in a garage band together.

And, you know, those situations where it's like there's two guys who are like real good musicians, and then everybody else is just kind of like fucking around.

So that was them.

They were the two talented ones.

And they, you know, after we all went off to college, they started doing Freesia and writing this sort of electronic music.

Fun fact, wrote a Britney Spears song.

I love that.

Wrote a song on the Blackout album.

Right.

So they wrote the song Heaven on Earth on Britney's Blackout album.

Right.

And I'm sure you remember the Blackout album was like the dark time in the Britney Spears story, right?

With the shaved head.

I mean, chasing photographers with an umbrella, stuff like that.

Yeah.

So when they were working with her, I was like, I'm going to get so much hot goss about Britney Spears from my my two friends from high school.

I'm going to get it immediately.

Right.

And then I talked to them and I have to say, super boring, super boring story.

They went into the studio.

Britney came in.

Super nice, very professional.

You know, great music ideas.

It was like, she was like a joy to work with.

It was like this incredibly like nice, also.

really disappointing story.

Because you want it to be messy.

You want it to be like she came into the studio with a leopard.

You know, you want it to be like that or something.

But yeah, these are my friends, Frisha.

We use their music all through young life.

We use it in this.

And it's great.

Also, Brittany, check in with us, please.

Let us know how you're doing.

Isn't she?

I thought she was good now.

Isn't she good now?

I don't think she's good now.

What's happening now?

I thought she could.

I don't have any hot goss.

I thought she was freed from her Las Vegas prison, wasn't she?

She was, and then she got

together with the dude, and then

it got weird again.

It's a shame.

Also, she left candles burning in her gym and

almost burned her place down.

Why are you burning candles in your gym?

Well, you want to smell it.

Who burns candles in the gym?

To smell nice.

It's a gym.

I don't know, man.

All right.

Anyway, well, just saying,

Brittany, come on the show.

Come listen to an episode of Midnight Burger with us, Brittany.

You'll love it.

And don't burn candles in your gym, please.

Don't burn candles in your gym.

What are you doing?

That's not where they belong.

No.

No.

All right.

Like, I know.

Don't burn your Norwegian taper in your gym.

That's right.

That's right.

We just talked about Britney Spears for a minute, though, we did.

I'm sorry.

I didn't have a lot to contribute, but it was.

I didn't either.

But we wound up there.

Okay.

It's going to be fine.

It's going to be fine.

Don't worry about it.

Traveling through the void of space.

Don't have a void in your tum-tum.

Okay, so of course, whenever there is a robot with one line, it is me.

Right.

I am always the robot with one line.

And

I really, I just want to, I'm going to compliment myself and say that my pronunciation of tum-tum was really excellently robotic.

It was awful.

I feel like at that point, yeah.

Yeah.

You did it.

You received a response to your request for information on the sisters from the Truth and Understanding Council.

Oh, yeah, Alice.

Yeah, you're in this episode, by the way.

Oh, yeah.

I love Alice.

I do too.

I can't wait.

Your request for information was denied.

Shocking.

Due to recent events, they are withholding all requests for information.

Please don't tell me they've convened a sub-council.

They've convened a sub-council.

Fuck my planet, dude.

So we talk about, so I talk about Cegius a lot.

We spend a lot of time.

We spent a whole episode there.

You know, it's mentioned a lot.

Bertbert's from Cegius.

And, you know, when we talk about Segius, he always talks about Cegius in this really kind of aggravated with your home planet kind of way, you know.

The thing about Cegius is that it's really as close to a utopia as you can get in the show, right?

It's a very well-run planet.

They've got geothermal power.

They've got it all.

It's all everything on CGS is working, right?

And

what I was always interested in exploring the CGIs was the idea that utopias

take a lot of work, first of all.

And also, they're like super frustrating and boring.

Like when Utopia is finally achieved, we're all going to be fucking bored having to deal with the nine councils that you have to go through.

But you know what?

In the end, if that's what you got to do, that's what you got to do.

I just listened to this entire Malcolm Gladwell podcast about his defense of the TV show Paw Patrol.

And it's him talking to all of these other really brilliant people who are also parents of young children and why they hate Paw Patrol and there's no like actual narrative structure.

And instead of leaving you with a question, they always just solve the problem.

And his big argument was that the reason Paw Patrol is actually so great is that it reminds him of Canada.

Because

it is just very straightforward.

Like, there's a problem, and then all the different municipal groups, the police and the

operations folks and the bulldozers, they all come together and they fix the problem and then it's done.

And that reminds me a little bit of what you're talking about right now.

That's amazing.

That's great.

We've got to watch the Paw Patrol now.

You know, that sounds exciting.

Cross-reference historical databases with the name The Sisters.

Okay, but

can you be a little more specific than the Sisters?

No, I can't, because I'm getting the stiff arm from CGS.

Okay.

Well, let's look at a few results off the top then.

The Seven Sisters, an alternate Earth term for the Pleiades.

The Honeybee Sisters, an alt-country duo from Greedon 4.

The Sisters, a 1938 Earth film starring Errol Flynn and Betty Davis.

Have you seen this movie?

No.

The Sisters?

No.

I guess because I guess there was a time when Errol Flynn didn't like have a sword.

Yeah.

Right?

And I was not aware of the non-sword Errol Flynn titles.

Sure, sure, sure.

Right.

But this is a movie where it's like Errol Flynn and Betty Davis, they like get married and like her family doesn't like it and they abscond to like San Francisco.

Right.

And he is like not doing well and he's like, but she believes in him and says, no, you should finish your book.

And so he tries to finish his book and it's not working out.

And, you know, his, his, his job isn't going well.

And then she gets pregnant and then she has a miscarriage and he gets real depressed and starts fucking up at his job.

And so she says, maybe maybe I should get a job.

And he says, no, no, that's wrong because it's in the past.

And so

she goes and gets a job anyway.

He gets real depressed, gets a job on like a ship and like sails away from San Francisco.

Surprise, it's 1906 and San Francisco is destroyed by an earthquake, like as right after he goes away.

Oh, no.

Betty Davis has to survive the fucking earthquake, right?

And then, you know, cut to like two years later, Betty Davis is like successful now where as an executive at a department store.

And like she hears that like things aren't going well for one of her other sisters.

And so she goes back home to try and like make sure everything's okay.

He comes back wondering where she is.

He comes back after like two years, comes back wondering where she is.

Is he a pirate now?

Not.

No, he's not a pirate.

He's just a guy.

Wow.

I don't understand why we would watch a movie in which Errol Flynn is just a dude.

You know?

It's a good question.

Goes back to where her home is, where she is, and he says, hey, let's give it a shot again.

And she says, all right, credits.

I mean, not credits, because it was a long time ago.

The credits happened in the beginning, but end.

And that's the movie.

And I'm like, what?

I've never even heard of that movie.

Anyways, just random

turns out Errol Flynn.

Odd plot points.

It's all in one.

It's like if you threw the plot points up in the air and let them land and then let them land.

It's like they started, like they get married and just a bunch of bad shit happens.

And then at the end of the movie, they're like, let's try it again.

Okay, and all right, it's weird.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, you're from NYPS?

I am.

So you weren't eavesdropping at all, were you?

I suppose you could say I was.

Though I'm also involuntarily eavesdropping on every conversation that's happening on this passenger deck right now.

I guess having hearing as sensitive as yours isn't so great in public places.

That would suck so hard.

If you had to, like, like you're stuck on a plane and you have to listen to every single person on the plane.

Yeah.

I mean, it'd be really great in like smaller scenarios where I just want to eavesdrop.

Yeah.

But you're going to have to listen to

everybody's kids.

Right.

You're going to have to listen to everybody's kids.

That one guy who won't shut up about

whatever his boring job is.

Right.

Yeah.

The one person who keeps trying to make jokes with the,

you know,

the lady across the aisle from him.

Sorry, who does want to talk to him?

You'd have to listen to every single one of those things.

No, thank you.

Sorry.

Sorry, though.

I'd love to file a report.

Sadly, my home world is dragging its feet.

Oh?

Why is that?

I guess they're hung up on whether to call it an act of terrorism or an act of rebellion.

That's interesting.

She's so mad at CGS.

She's constantly mad at her really nice.

At her utopia.

God, utopia.

I just like, I can't imagine someone being this mad at Canada.

You know?

They can do it.

You know?

I mean, if you're from Canada, I bet it's real easy to be like, God, Canada.

You know?

What about it?

It sounds like something from the Age of Conquerors.

Does it?

I don't know much about the Age of Conquerors.

I know you don't.

You're from Segius.

During the Age of Conquerors, CGS was busy forming the original coalition.

You didn't have an Age of Conquerors where you come from.

See, they didn't even have an Age of Conquerors there.

That's how boring it is.

It's like they didn't even have like wartime.

You know?

It was just like

they just got to organizing.

Let's get organized, everybody.

Roberts Rules, straight out.

Robert's rules.

Just like the first thing they sent, like interplanetary, first interplanetary messages, like a memo.

You know what I mean?

First thing they sent.

The memo and the schedule is the first thing we're sending to another planet.

Item one.

Item one.

Yeah.

Alice Kroc the Propagator.

Kroc the Propagator is one of the many warlords from the Age of Conquerors.

He successfully conquered the planets of Lin, Emlin, Lahari, Nyx, and several others on the far side of Andromeda.

Kroc apparently saw himself as a liberator, working with civilizations rather than conquering them.

He would often say to newly conquered people, we make the world, not those who come before us.

Huh.

I like to imagine that Alice, in her tiny little tangle apartment, has like posters of Croc the Propagator all over her wall.

Like a pillow?

Like iHeart Croc?

iHeart Crock.

All right, that's sure.

Whatever you think, honey.

Why not?

Yeah.

Her name escapes me.

Alice, experts on Croc the Propagator living on Kadan.

There are several published works by a Professor Kiana Crow.

Is it Kiana Crow?

That's it.

I think my main question about Alice is that Alice like instantly knows some information if you ask the information.

And it's like, would that be a bummer for you because you love looking things up so much?

You know what I mean?

Like if it just instantly came to you.

Would you miss the tappity tap tap tap?

You know what I mean?

Like as Alice, would it be disappointing no like for you yourself like if you had the powers of alice would you be like now i know everything but also kind of a bummer that i don't get to look things up on the internet anymore because i am the internet basically well i don't know because there's that one point where she's got to read the manual for the spaceship right right right that's true so i think at some point she's got to gather the information once it's just in there right it just goes real fast i don't think i'd mind that because i still get to do it it'd just be like it just happens faster.

Way faster.

Yeah.

I think that'd be dope.

Why do I sign up?

I said there was a rebellion on your planet, and you said it depends on your perspective.

Oh.

So there's a side that's always in darkness.

That's where I'm from.

For generations, we were horribly subjugated by those who live on the sunlit side of the planet.

And then one day, the sky was full of starships.

Kroc came to our planet and fought with those of us on the dark side to free ourselves and make the planet a place where we could all live together.

So,

was that a rebellion?

If so, were we called terrorists until we won?

Or were both sides just conquered by a charismatic man with a fleet of ships?

Depends on your perspective.

What's your perspective?

I honestly don't know.

It was a long time ago.

It's not like I was there.

But we did make the world.

All of us.

The oppressors, the rebels, the conquerors.

Together.

I have shocking news.

CGS would like to know why you're headed to Kadan.

Of course.

I have to go deal with this now.

Is there a workstation available?

Deck five.

Okay, fun.

It was nice to meet you, Labuza.

You too.

I look forward to your report.

Can I?

Because I'm lying to you.

I want to compliment Lauren.

She handles all of those huge sections of text beautifully, obviously, like all the reporting.

But also, what I really love is I love her, the little interjections.

She sounds...

I mean, it's just got the truth of actually responding to something to it so much.

I love it so much.

Just to hear her quick responses, her, you know, know,

her frustration.

It's lovely.

I love it so much.

It makes me smile every time I listen to it.

It really is great.

Yeah.

It's like she's one of those people that just like,

it's just, it's like, it's just a beautifully done job.

You know, it just, it feels effortless, even though, you know, so smooth.

Yeah.

It's super silky smooth.

I also, like this time listening to it, I just really enjoy,

I don't know how to describe it.

Like,

I believe that young Bert Bert grows up to be Bert Bert.

Right.

Do you know what I mean?

Which is not to say that I don't believe that young Leaf grows up to be Leaf, but there's so much that that Leaf goes through.

Right.

And Burt Burt goes through stuff, but it's like she's not a pirate.

You know what I mean?

But I just, I love that like the way the sass

grows up.

I don't know.

It's just, it's cool to think about it after the fact, I guess.

No, yeah, it is great.

It's because you like, you meet Bert Bert and then like you see this younger version.

So it's like you see you get a you get a broader picture of like who the person is.

You know

I'm sure everyone would like to take a private flight when you're hopping from one planet to another.

You don't have to deal with being shuffled in a massive group with a bunch of strangers.

You don't have to deal with not one but two festians falling asleep on your shoulder.

True story.

Despite that, I have to say, I have had many an interesting conversation on the passenger deck of a starliner.

One time, I found myself sat sat down next to none other than Nea Nixrino, the legendary historian of the Alexian Wars.

If you don't know who that is, read a book, dummies!

Nea said that she was taking her very last trip through a warp gate.

She didn't have another book in her, she said, and it was time for her to go back home to Alexa Prime and finally be the mollusk farmer her father always wanted her to be.

On that flight, I tried to get as much knowledge from her as I could.

It was like a free masterclass It sat down right next to me.

And I remember asking her, after all those years of war and all of that history, and with so many perspectives, how did she keep it all straight?

How did she separate fact from fiction?

I remember her looking up at me when I asked that.

Her face seemed tired, jaded, like she had surrendered.

And this legendary historian said to me,

It's all fiction.

All of it.

There's the moment.

And then when the moment passes, the observers of the moment turn to tell their story.

And that's when the fiction begins.

If you weren't there, all you have is the fiction.

So what have I been doing this whole time?

It was chilling.

So it...

Made me a little hesitant to know that I was about to jump into maybe the most obscured era of triad history.

Okay, so I was

got asked to participate in this like playwriting workshop at Center Theater Group here in LA, right?

And it was this weird thing that Pier Carlo Tolenti, the

literary manager at the time, he did it in the summertime.

And basically we would come in and we would meet sort of once a month and we would, you know,

read whatever we're working on.

And

part of that was this thing he liked to do where he said, okay,

find two experts on anything, and I'll call them, and I'll try and get them to come in, and they can talk to all of the writers, right?

Which was weird.

But I was like, okay, cool.

I want to talk to someone who knows about the history of Los Angeles, and I want to talk to an Egyptologist.

I may have been doing that just to see if he could get those two people here.

Anyway, so he, and he did.

He found some, you know, they're an Egyptologist at UCLA.

And

then he got this guy named Norman Klein to come in.

Norman Klein is

a philosopher and a sort of cultural analyst.

And

he

wrote this one book called

The History of Forgetting, Los Angeles and the Erasure of Memory.

And it's about this idea of how Los Angeles

very deliberately shapes itself, sometimes away from its actual history into the sort of facade of Los Angeles.

I mentioned before planting all the palm trees everywhere when palm trees are not native here, things like that.

But, you know, buildings getting torn down that aren't a part of the story of Los Angeles and building something else there that is a part of the story of Los Angeles.

And

which makes it kind of hard to sort of truly track the history of Los Angeles.

And I was talking, so he did this really great talk.

He's a really interesting guy.

And, you know,

afterwards, I was talking to him.

And I was like, this must be very difficult because, you know, if you want to study the history of the city, it's like you have the history over here and then you have the fiction over here.

And he starts to wave his hand in front of my face.

And he says,

it's all fiction.

All of it.

Whoa.

And he sort of, you know, tried to explain to me that

getting to the actual thing is always very difficult because it's always a story that's told.

No matter how much research you do, you still have to turn around and tell a story because you weren't there.

And because of that,

and by that nature, everything becomes a story.

Everything becomes a fiction.

And it fucked me right up.

It's like people, it's like people reporting on crime scenes, right?

It's that moment where like everybody sees something different depending on the context in which you're you're experiencing the thing.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Like what is that Lillian Hellman short play?

What is it where like the guys come in and analyze the crime scene and they see one thing?

Yeah, but trifles.

Is that what it's called?

I can't remember what it's called.

Yeah, trifles.

Trifles.

Right, but that makes sense that you, you know, you're, yes, of course you're going to learn the facts, but at some point you're going to try to contextualize the facts into some kind of narrative.

And then all of a sudden you're off and running into.

Yeah, because it's a narrative.

Yeah, something that's not the facts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And every single thing is a memory.

right yeah and the more you go through a memory the more your mind changes the memory exactly wow

that's trippy

everything's

up right nothing's real

good evening mom please enjoy an octocrab puff no thank you i hate these parties i hate talking to people i hate the clothes i'm wearing well don't worry It's not showing.

It's not?

No, it's totally showing.

Fine, whatever.

Did you find some publications by that professor?

Yes.

Professor Kiana Crow is the author of several books on the Age of Conquerors.

Worlds Before Warp, Days of the Conqueror, and The Visitor.

Unraveling the Mysteries of Croc the Propagator.

Did you read them?

Hang on.

Yes.

See?

Instant.

Love it.

Right.

Great.

Because you read them.

Hook me up.

Also, I love that Kazi's just been writing all of these books.

I know, right?

She's been writing like deep undercover.

You know what I mean?

Exactly.

Like written books.

That's a lot of effort.

Yeah, for sure.

Commits.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh,

the propagator.

Right.

Yeah, there it is.

Why is everyone checking their tangle?

I really should have given someone that

ringtone in the party, like someone get like a real old school one.

That and the amount of times I saw it said massive are the two biggest regrets

of this episode.

You wanted to have like an old Nokia flip phone in there, yeah, yeah, right?

The sight.

I also love how everyone's checking their tangle, but Alice is just like sitting on it.

Yeah,

guess I should give you that alert.

I don't know.

I'll get to it when when I get to it.

Don't interrupt me.

I'm talking about crap.

Where are the restrooms?

To the left.

Connect me to his comms node.

Are you sure?

Do it, Alice.

Okay.

Connected.

You fucking asshole.

Do you have any idea what you have just done?

Those people are screwed, Laif.

You have no idea what a farming planet goes through every year just to make their gate fees and you just swing in and steal their livelihood.

Fuck you.

Assuming the Teds will give them a line of credit, they are going to be in debt for generations now.

And that is the best case scenario.

Worst case, they fucking starve, Laif,

because of you.

And if the Teds turn off their warp gate, there is no way they can get off the planet and no way anyone can get them aid.

I am

disgusted that I know you.

I have tried so hard to be forgiving and understanding, and what a fucking idiot I am.

Strongly consider how much better off the triad would be without you.

Are you sure you want to send this message?

Sent it.

Sent.

Let's get out of here.

She does such a good job with that.

That's such a beautiful speech.

It's so heartbreaking.

It really is.

And I loved listening to this joke because I think you guys probably brought me in for Kazi, but there's so much I can tie back to the Bert Bert stuff that I really

because I can hear in her voice in this

the most significant X reveal.

I can hear her throwing glasses at his head.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Do not check your voicemail life.

Damn.

It's rough in there.

But yeah, it was such a great moment.

And it's just like,

and it was just one of those moments where it's just like, let's see what happens.

And Lauren just like went right into it.

Like, didn't need any notes at all.

It's like she knew exactly what the moment needed to be at that moment.

Killed it in the face.

Yeah, so good.

Progress is forward,

right?

That's what we're told.

Progress is the future.

Let's all of us move hand in hand toward the future because that's where all the progress is.

Oh my god.

Or is that an assumption?

The greatest.

You all read the news.

You saw what just happened on Axel.

Oh my God, I love it.

It makes me so nervous.

It makes me so nervous.

Because I sent you the script, right?

And I was like, okay, so there's Kazi, but then there's also this other professor, Keonicro, basically Kazi in disguise.

Right.

But it's like, don't worry about it too much.

I'm going to be able to change your voice a little bit.

And then you wrote me back

with a file attached.

You're just like, what do you think of this?

I was was like, okay, let me click on this.

Click.

And I was like, oh, really?

We're doing this, are we?

I think I might have said this may be a real big swing in a mist.

You did, you did.

Because he then sent it to me and was like,

listen to what I just got.

And I pushed play and I was like, what the, what?

Immediately, yes.

Oh, no.

I just.

It was great.

It was great because it was like, you're not a doing-a-voice a voice person.

Oh, I'm not.

I am not at all a doing a voice person.

Everybody who has listened to me will find that Jane and Mary and Bert Bird and Kazzi all have very strong similarities to one another.

But it was a voice is what it was.

And I don't know what you actually wrote when you sent it, but it sounded like when he was sharing it with me, like you wanted to be talked out of it.

Like it was a hilarious joke that you were just trying.

This is funny.

I think I've just listened to so many brilliant people on this show do, and I'm sorry that I don't, you know, but like, like all of the Barts and all of the, I mean, like, and listening to Lauren do her, what, what, her Belgian accent or whatever.

Well, I don't, thank you.

Yes, you know, like, like,

I don't know, at some point, you know,

I was like, well, she, she, if she really needs to sound not like her,

um, it was great.

It was really great.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Perfectly.

Don't tell me anybody who wrote in to explain what was wrong with the British accent.

Nobody did.

Nobody did.

Nobody did.

You know?

Which is hilarious because we got complaints about British accents when we had actual British people on the show.

But they did not complain about you.

You know what I mean?

No, it was great.

And it was genuinely like, because I figured like,

the hardcore fans were going to know it was you.

And that was fine, right?

But then you go what?

But then you sent me the voice, and I was like, Oh, they're not gonna know shit.

Yeah, this is gonna be a fun surprise for the whole family, and it's gonna be great.

And already at night breakfast, they were so confused by this episode-like, they were super excited that Lauren was there, but it was also like, What the fuck is happening?

I don't understand.

And then there was a history lesson

in the Iron Quadrant,

entire livelihood stolen by a surprisingly tech-savvy and well-organized pirate.

There are calls for greater security.

There are calls for a crackdown on pirates across the system.

There are calls for this, that, and the other thing.

The usual things that people call for.

Like, 100%, you're this, like,

Miss Marple, Agatha Christie.

Yeah, right.

Tiny round glasses and a bun.

Yeah, it's like a, like, I don't know, know, Maggie Smith in a room with a view or something, but

with a little bit of, there's a weird like Catherine Hepburn shakiness in there as well, I think.

Yeah, it's like a cornice green situation.

Right, right, right.

Right.

But I think it's also that the snarky,

there's nothing like British snark.

And there was just something in the speech that...

allowed for it.

Pirates stealing their stuff.

That's a good, that's a fun phrase.

That's fun.

For sure.

God, imagine having Kazi as your university professor.

Oh my god.

You know what I mean?

Everybody leaves crying.

Every terrifying.

You know, just terrifying.

You know what I mean?

Who's the pirate here?

What's the crime before the crime?

Progress is forward.

Barbarism is in the past.

That's what we're told.

But what if I told you that long ago, before this

glorious future we're living in, there was a cluster of planets on the outskirts of Andromeda where there was no debt,

there was no famine, there was no currency, there were no pirates of any variety.

It sounds like the future to me.

Why is it in the past?

It's so rough, you know, because it's like, you know, Kazi is like deep undercover as this historian, but genuinely wrote all of these books about her dad, you know, who she didn't know.

And like, you can, you get the sense that she like styled herself after her father in her, you know, sort of rebellious activities, right?

Absolutely.

I mean, talk about a series of things that she thinks are facts that she's created a fiction around.

Actually, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She created a fiction.

And then like, and then meets him, and it's, he's the fucking worst.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I feel like this, how, you know, it says she's been there for several years writing these books.

I just feel like this is a moment where she's just stewing in

this whole idea, you know, world that she's creating in her mind.

It's so interesting, the idea that she would be creating lectures about it and books about it and just sitting in the aspiration of all of it until

she goes out to accomplish it and then runs face first into him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's just like the oh it's just it's one of those you know never meet your heroes even even, even when they're your dad, I guess, you know, because it, you know, and it's like, and what she says to him, you know, in the last episode, right?

Because it's like the only choice at that point because you've turned out to be such a son of a bitch.

Right.

You know, the only choice is I'm going to have to kill you now.

But righteously.

You know, yeah, very righteously.

And

there's, I guess there's, I mean, maybe this is a universal moment where it's like you realize that like you,

that it's on you.

You know, it's like you can't leave it up to somebody else.

Like you can't, you know, you can't believe in this person or that person or the other person.

In the end, it's going to be, you know, assigned to you

for, you know, the story to unfold.

So, you know, you can't follow in someone else's footsteps.

You know, that's sort of like you have to, I don't know, kind of kill your idols in a way, you know, and sort of in order to go past them, in order to sort of take it past where you found it all, you know.

Right, right.

Excuse me, Professor Crow?

Yes.

My name is Burt Bert.

I'm from the CGN Council of Truth and Understanding.

Yes, I know your work.

Hello.

I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

Of course.

This is a surprise.

My office is right through here.

It's like a relay because first the true life Bert Bert meets the young Bertbert and now the young Bertbert meets the Bert Bert Bert.

Yeah, there's a lot of fun.

Like, I mean, how many, like, you know, talk about weird alternate universes.

How many times can you talk to yourself?

And

also playing your mother at one point.

I mean,

that was a fun one, too.

Playing Bertbert's mom.

Yeah.

It's like when you would read Highlights Magazine, it's like, can you find the Bert Berts in this picture?

How many Bert Berts are in this picture?

Circle of them all.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

What do you think the connection is between these sisters and Kroc the propagator?

You know how these rebel groups can be.

They'll co-opt anything that makes them sound connected to a larger ideology.

They think it gives them some sort of street cred.

There it is again.

Was that?

I said, there it is again.

Street cred.

Street cred.

Street cred.

That's a term I picked up from the young people.

That was, you know, by design.

It's like she's going to have a few things that she's picked up from students.

Right, sure.

Right.

Damn.

What is that?

I thought we'd have more time.

What

are you talking about?

A skiffful of Tedbots just landed in the lawn outside of the building.

What?

Alice?

It's true.

They're on their way up the stairs.

They're evacuating the building.

What's going on?

I apologize for this next part.

It's very disturbing.

What?

Uh, fuck!

Holy shit.

Fingerous.

Okay, what is that sound effect?

What's that?

What is that sound effect?

I think it's

cellophane.

Crinkling up salophane.

It sounds so wet.

Yeah, it does.

These are sounds.

Amazing what happens when you get it real close to the mic.

When you get it real close to the mic, it can become a whole other animal.

You know what I mean?

These are some of my favorite moments in recording are when you're like, all right, now you need to make a sound like you're peeling off this.

Or you say to Aubrey, like, now you need to make it, like, can you make a sound like you're picking up a couch?

You know,

I love it.

Those are the, yeah.

Everybody jumps in, which is, I really do appreciate that.

You know what I mean?

Professor Crow, Professor Crow, open this door immediately.

I'm a security officer with the TED Empire.

Open the door or we break it down.

One moment.

Hello.

Professor.

Fuck.

We make the world.

It's so hot.

So first of all, shout out to Dr.

Punk Gusher Esquire for being murdered.

Great job.

Second of all, I was just like, there were some moments where I was like, how could I possibly cast Jessica as a woman who has a claw

on her arm.

It feels so unserious, and she's a very serious actress.

You know what I mean?

But, you know,

it was important

because you sold it.

I felt the claw.

So hard.

So

you gave me two notes, I think, when we first started, and you sent me some fan art

before I even read the script.

And that helped.

But what you said to me was, you said two things.

You said, she's stoic and she's the leader yes and that and that was that was all i needed and it and it's the stoicism that has been the most fun because you get to you know just say things

directly and with conviction and that's it it's done yes there's a claw done

That's so true.

That is so true.

And you know what?

Also, like at the very end,

when she's like, when you, the three of you, are waiting at the door and you tell them that you love them very much, it's such a massive moment.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, it's just that moment is as big as the door that you're waiting to open right now.

You know what I mean?

And that only would have worked if you had been that way the entire time throughout the entire season.

You know what I mean?

It was like it all kind of led up to that, you know.

Anyway,

clause.

People have a clause.

It happens.

You know, rather than terraform the moon, the new residents of Emlin terraformed their own bodies, making great and super creepy strides in the fields of genetic and organic manipulation.

So she can transform into other people.

Not anyone.

That particular maneuver is called skin slipping.

She can completely switch her genetic profile between her original skin and the one of Professor Kiana Crow.

Gross.

Glass.

It really is super gross.

You know what I mean?

You got to do what you got to do, honey.

All right.

Yeah.

It's a hard

gallop.

No arguments.

Yeah.

Just saying bless.

Like I said before, Kroc initially came to the aid of the oppressed populations.

Right, right, right, okay.

Then had a bunch of kids.

Yeah, what was this guy's deal with having kids everywhere?

I don't know.

Maybe he was a hottie.

See?

Alice gets into it.

In her virtual teenage bedroom that she has in the tangle.

On the ceiling.

On the ceiling.

Croc the propagator poster.

This is going to be a whole new line of merch.

It's going to be the croc the propagator merch.

I love it.

That's right.

It's going to be amazing.

I heart and croc.

Yeah, iHeart Crock.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Hashtag hot croc, right?

Hashtag propagate me.

me.

Speaking of blech,

restraining prisoner.

Whoa!

Sniper protocol.

Shit!

Triangulate assailant.

There's a sniper.

Get down!

What the fuck is happening?

Kazi did say she wasn't going to let anything happen to you.

So they're springing me?

Looks like it.

Okay, so this is gonna look like I was working with them.

I'm guessing that's preferential to whatever an icing facility is.

What the fuck do I do?

I think this is the point where we run.

Shit!

That was really hard to sound design that moment, guys.

I bet.

Really?

Yeah, it took a real long time.

I don't know why.

I think it's because it's like

you need to to make sure there's a lot of layers.

So you've got to have like there's a ship overhead.

You're still at the school.

You've got to establish how many robots there are.

The distant sniper.

What is it?

And then the sound of the sniper smashing open the head of the Ted bot and the Ted bot breaking down was actually a few things put together.

And it was just, and it's one of those, like

the moment, like when the first one gets killed, and there's that moment of silence when nobody knows what's happening, and then the next shot comes, is

it was delicate, but also complicated, anyway.

And this is why Joe uses a TV.

This is why I use a gigantic television as my monitor, everybody.

Go get yourself one at your local Best Buy.

Huh.

Okay.

Fine.

Get us off this planet.

There's a Trunders down under in five blocks.

We can send a message from there.

Okay.

But I'm walking.

Like, look, yes, I am being hunted by the Ted Empire right now, but I'm not going to run.

Okay.

I know how she feels.

Please.

There's some things that's just, you know, a bridge too far, even in that moment.

I also love all of this for Burt Burt, like, leading up to the...

Is the interlude called Interview with the Empire?

Is that the one that Ben and I did?

The Interview with the Empire.

Yeah, that Ben and I did together.

Like,

I just feel like this is so much excellent backstory

for how

much her resentment has been growing over the years.

Yeah, it really loads up a lot of stuff into those later, you know, stuff.

You know, yeah, it's great.

This is it.

What?

I'm sorry.

What?

Fine, Dan.

I forgot about Whisper Dan.

Okay.

So this is Whisper Dan.

Genius, Joseph.

I don't quite remember.

So this was me doing the whispers of Whisper Dan, right?

And I don't remember what I said exactly.

Something about like Whisper Dan turns out big fan of Burt Burt's work.

Just wanted to let her know before she got off the thing.

Something about that you know what I mean

but uh yeah whisper dan and then with okay so whisperdan is the artist who made the you know that art of the sisters you know

did a few of the did a few of the episode artworks and um

you know like i was saying uh in a previous shift notes whisperdan became batman to my commissioner gordon i have no idea who whisperdan is whisperdan refuses to take money whisper dan is basically an art vigilante and uh

so I couldn't pay Whisper Dan.

So Whisper Dan got, you know, Whisper Dan got a free subscription.

Whisper Dan got, you know, their name at the end of the show.

Whisper Dan got their name in the show.

And this is the character.

And then Whisperdan made fan art of themselves.

You know, put it up on the Instagram, which is great stuff.

I love it.

Well, well, if it is the most wanted woman in the triad.

Was all of this really necessary?

Sorry, you want to talk to me?

You have to go through Whisper Dan.

This was a super crazy night breakfast.

This was a super crazy night breakfast.

Yeah.

Everyone had a great time.

All kinds of surprises.

Did everybody get so excited when Kat showed up?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel like I wish I had a word,

a word for the feeling that you have in Midnight Burger when a character you don't know is in the episode appears in the episode.

And maybe a separate word for when two characters who you never thought would meet each other

get to meet each other.

Like there's a particular kind of elation that comes from those moments when you're listening to this show, I think.

It's just so massive.

Okay, thanks, honey.

Wow.

Come on.

Come on.

I just want to say, have not used it yet since we got through with the massive zone.

Okay.

Have not used it yet.

We've still got a few minutes to go.

Cross your fingers, everybody, for your dad.

All right.

I am

so fucked, Verge.

I've been getting the chatter on the undersignal, and

as a professional, I have come to the conclusion that, yes, you are very, very fucked, lady.

There's got to be a way out of this.

Of course, there's a way out of this.

What is it?

I can't think of anything.

Berts, can we talk for a second about the benefits of being a citizen of Segius?

Not to mention a high-profile citizen of CGS?

They think I'm a terrorist.

You know that your homeworld is going to pull some sort of diplomatic hocus-pocus and get you safe passage back home.

It's that awkward moment when your incredibly rich friend comes over and tells you about what a jam they're in, and you're like, listen.

Yes.

This is bad for you,

but I mean,

you know,

that's an awkward conversation to have, you know.

She takes her spanking, though.

Yeah, for sure.

Then they'll convene about two million subcommittees to figure out what to do with you.

And that will take an interminable amount of time.

And then you will finally

be okay.

They'll never let me leave my planet again.

Oh, yeah, I mean, that's probably true.

Your planet that is a utopia and a tropical paradise.

Yes, I know that that will be very difficult for you.

Are you gonna be okay?

You know?

I would.

Real quick, like to acknowledge the fact that I'm complaining about my life while you are living in a giant tin can and are hopping from doomed planet to doomed planet.

I appreciate the acknowledgement.

There you go.

Yeah, okay, good.

Right?

There you go.

That's nice.

Acknowledgement is good.

The warp gate they were building around Bilius wasn't going to be any warp gate.

It was going to be a new kind of warp gate, one that could take people to where?

Cryptesia?

Right.

They weren't staging a terrorist attack.

They were defending their territory.

They found a way to cryptesia.

I was like, Lauren, can you give me a little more S on Cryptesia?

Oh, yeah.

She was like, that's my CGN accent.

I just wanted to say about this moment.

You know, conversely, like we, you know, we were talking about like having that rich friend who comes over and it's like, you know,

maybe your life isn't as bad as you think it is, you know.

At the same time, you know,

Bertbert's perspective helps to like see past the sort of negativity of it, you know, because she's kind of fueled by the utopia she grew up in.

You know what I mean?

So it can be a little more visionary, maybe, because she's seen better things, you know.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I was so

furious.

I left him this ridiculous screaming message on his comms note.

I'm sure he'll never listen to it.

And yet there I was

in a formal dress, screaming into my tangle in a bathroom stall.

I don't think I've ever been that angry.

Honestly, what did you think was going to happen when he joined up with Love Tracks?

I

embarrassingly thought that he would be Robin Hood or something.

I was trying to put a positive spin on it,

but he's not.

Robin Hood, turns out.

Turns out he's just a fucking pirate.

He knew he wasn't going to be Robin Hood either, Berts.

That's why he gave you Alice.

This is a really like shout out to Tom because like

over the seasons, I have loaded up so much terrible shit onto Lape.

Like he's really done like really bad shit, you know, and in the past has been like a shitty person.

You know what I mean?

But it's like

Tom just kind of keeps going, you know what I mean?

And it's like his performance is like so lovable

that it's like you can't, it's like,

it's this huge conflict, you know?

It's just like, there's so many things to hate about him.

But it's like, you,

it's like the thing, you know, because they met him after all that stuff, right?

So the audience meets Leif

after all that stuff had happened.

And then you sort of slowly through these seasons learn all the things that he's done.

And yet you continue to have that affection for the character, you know?

Which is, you know,

it is, it's a very lovable performance that Tom does of Lave.

You know what I mean?

And without that,

I think the audience might start to turn on him.

You know what I mean?

Totally.

It's also,

it's fulfilling that

line, right, too, that there's nothing more infuriating than a good person who refuses to be good.

Like the sense that he's in there.

He's always in there somewhere.

Right.

You know, and that's the way Tom plays him, I think.

He's always in there somewhere.

But yeah, I agree with you completely.

He just wins you over so hard right from the beginning.

For sure.

Yeah.

That it's hard, I think, to stray from

believing in the way, you know, I think Burt Bert has always really wanted to believe in him, I think.

And I imagine it must be frustrating, too, because it's like meeting, like in the sort of present day, quote-unquote, life, like meeting someone from back then, it's like, no, you don't understand.

I'm so great now.

Right.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Right, right, right.

I'm in the bottom of hanging out now.

I saved a whole ship full of earthlings.

Right.

You know.

I think it also works because of what Evan did as young Leif,

because they're so like different,

but clearly the same person.

And so it's kind of like helps to paint that picture that, you know, we contain multitudes or whatever.

Yeah.

And all of these things about LAF can be true.

I mean, that was the whole like, you know, through line really of young life in general is that like you're this person and you're this person and you're this person.

You're all of these people you know and that no in the end nobody is one thing.

Trevor Burrus And that hopefully you grow up.

I mean

I know that that sounds I know that that sounds diminutive of the whole like like you know pirate thing but but but you know destroying a farming planet but I but I do think in the way that storytelling helps us see like our small picture and you know from a from a bigger, more extreme picture, like it just seems a little bit like the trajectory of growing up a little bit to me, too.

Like for sure.

Yeah, good job, Tom.

Good job, Tom.

Dez!

Stay there!

What the hell are you doing here?

Well, you know, it's this time in the cycle that we need to purge a little inventory.

There's some things in the back lot, they got some piss poor resale value, so we try and get them out of there somehow.

Oh, I forgot about this, too.

That's what I'm saying.

Hey, the word for the person showing up.

There's Dez.

Hey, there, hey there.

So I never got to talk about this on shift notes because it was on young length.

So this is

Neil playing Des.

Right.

And so

I write the character of Dez and I say, hey, Deal, will you do this character?

It's just like big, huge dude, big, huge space dude.

Neil's like, yeah, sure.

And so he shows up and decides to do Des as like a Chicago, you know, like,

I don't even know what the, it's like a like a Chicago union guy.

You know what I mean?

Yep.

And it's so like, and I did not tell him to do that.

He just, in his Neil way, just decided, like, I'm going to come in with something real weird and it's going to work.

And it,

I was like, okay, yes, right.

This is the character and it's going to be great.

And I'm so excited about it, you know.

So it was great to bring Dez back.

This Labooza chick is probably the brain, and this Professor Kazi is probably the one organizing everything.

That makes sense.

And that leaves the muscle.

Okay.

One of these planets that this Croc the Propagator guy conquered was Lahari, right?

Yes.

We're looking for someone from Lahari, then.

Laharians are always at war with each other.

It's all they know how to do.

That makes sense.

Alice, bring up the most wild list from the Teds.

You'll see Kazi on there.

You'll see Labuza on there.

Look for a Laharian.

Yes.

Tita from the planet Lahari.

AKA Tita the Terrible.

AKA the Skull Eater.

AKA the Ted Shredder.

AKA the Milk Man.

That's what we're looking for.

Okay.

It's standard issue, okay?

That's what you want to do.

You want to do normal nickname, normal nickname, normal nickname, completely random thing.

Sure.

That's the recipe for comedy.

Impersonating a baker?

Exactly.

Exactly.

But first,

I light this candle and try and make Burt Burt pee in her pants.

The challenge with using Frischa's music is that they're really, I mean, at their core, they're like an experimental like art project.

You know what I'm saying?

Like it's like, it's like some of it goes into just like pure chaos, but like there's usually like about 45 seconds of the pure chaos that has like a total banger in there.

You know what I mean?

So you've got to like get through there, you just get on the banger part because because you know, like 45 seconds later, you're going to be like at the art museum, you know what I mean, with Frisha, right?

So, this is one of those moments in this song because the rest of the song is like it's very like they go way out there, you know what I mean?

Sure, yeah.

This is me and my kids in the car.

Like, you can see all of our heads out there for a reason.

Yeah, just the heads.

I'm doing that, like, white lady, like, biting my lip, and my brow is furrowed, and my head's just bouncing up and down.

Yeah, yeah,

Rolling up to middle school.

Exactly.

Can I help you?

Okay, so this is Dr.

Punkusher again.

So good.

Who

is about to be killed again in the same episode?

I would say that this is the most time someone's gotten killed in an episode of Midnight Burger, but we did have Tommy playing the science priests.

Oh, yeah.

Right?

Although, technically, well, no, that was different people being killed many times, and then 100 of him was killed by the end of that episode.

So that's a record that's going to be there for a while.

It's going to be hard to beat that one, getting killed 100 times in one episode.

You know what I'm saying?

Can we get a kill by the window, please?

You know better than to be here, Vapian.

I walked in the door, same as everybody else.

There's no such thing as an an open door for a vapian in this quadrant.

They should have stopped you at the port.

I'm so sorry.

Oh my gosh.

Was I supposed to use the spaceport?

I couldn't tell with this whole planet look like a fucking scrapyard.

My name is Sven the Unlikely.

As in unlikely to be killed.

I'm imagining him like

three and a half feet tall.

You know what I mean?

Or just really floppy.

I see.

right, yeah.

It's like you see, like, the close-up is on his feet as he arrives.

Right.

And his race has gigantic feet, but it's super short.

You know what I mean?

And very floppy.

But also, like, really tall hats.

He's got a very, very ceremonially tall hat.

Right.

Savannah the unlikely.

Three,

four.

Oh, my God, Aubrey.

Longest throat clearing in the history of Midnight Burger, I think, right there.

Okay, nice record to have.

It's amazing.

I remember you said, can you clear your throat?

And she didn't.

Yeah.

And then

gave me

the epic throat clear.

It's not my fault that you're all so easy to intimidate.

Boys!

How many gun sounds do I have?

I said to myself.

I think I'm going to have to use all of them.

All of the gun getting out sounds.

Let me use all of them here in this moment.

I love that, but then also, this is like totally every time Tita goes to the bar.

Right.

But I also love that now we've got Tita and

Verge.

Right.

And I mean, the only thing that would top it would be if we had Tita and Verge and the X.

It would be like an unstoppable tryout.

Oh my God.

That would be like Midnight Burger Charlie's Angel.

Exactly.

We need it.

Chuck's angel.

Okay, this is not an exit at all.

No, it's not.

Hello, Bertaluna.

Come in.

We've been expecting you.

Uh, hi.

How did you know I was going to be here?

We'll get to that.

Come in.

There's a massive massive gunfight happening in the bar.

It happens every few days.

I wouldn't worry.

Excuse me?

Have a seat.

I have been a fugitive for weeks now.

Yes, I apologize for that.

Okay, great.

Well, I guess that's fixed then.

So much looking over the top of her glasses energy from Kazi,

you know.

Doesn't even look up, still doing some paperwork.

You know, just sit right there, sit right there.

You know, you'd like to know how I justify killing people?

That's the most important thing right now?

Well, I've been critical of the Ted Empire since I was a kid.

I never advocated for killing any of them.

I see.

If a man has a gun pointed at you and is about to pull the trigger, would you feel justified in killing him?

I suppose.

And let's take a step back from that.

A man has his finger on a button, and if he pushes that button, he will make you a slave for the rest of your life, and your children after that, and their children.

It won't kill you.

Just take everything from you.

What then?

I.

It's like they're talking about the, you know, the sort of morality around killing people.

But the vibe is just like, I'm talking to a young teenager.

Okay, we're going to get through this real quick, and then it'll be over with so we can move on to

important things.

Right.

You can just tell it's a ridiculous conversation in her mind.

Why would you even question this whatsoever?

It's just a completely unapologetic worldview, I think.

Completely, yeah.

Yep.

But also, let me teach you.

Right.

Yes.

Yes.

But I can instruct you.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Come in.

It's okay.

Sit here.

What's your name?

Malu.

Where are you from, Malu?

Lemonia.

How many have you brought with you?

Two sisters and our baby brother.

Lamonia is a long trip.

How did you pay the gate fees?

Okay, so this is Mad Maddox playing.

Mad Maddox.

Kind of a cute moment.

I recorded this before I recorded any of y'all, you know.

And

Mad Maddox is from Brazil, speaks Portuguese is her native language.

And in my mind, it was Malou.

Right?

But I didn't tell her that

because of the sort of Portuguese intonation, she just naturally said Malu.

And that's the name of it.

Yeah.

Oh, I love it.

Because that's the rule here at Bindai Burger: is that, you know, if you're the first person to say the alien word, that is how it's pronounced.

Okay.

70% of the planet is fresh water on Lamonia.

They ship massive amounts of fuck.

Oh, no.

Massive amounts.

We're so far in jokes.

I was so in jokes to the end.

I was suddenly like, oh my God, I said one of the words wrong.

I know.

I was like, what happened?

I was like, I said Limonia wrong.

It was me using the word massive again.

Enough time has passed.

Not for me, honey.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

Well,

I would have felt better about it if I had never used the word again in the rest of the episode.

You know what I mean?

Or your life.

Never again.

Or my life.

But here we are.

Oh, well.

Oh, no.

So they are sending their children to a better place, even though they will never see them again.

That's how important it was to them.

Do you understand that?

I'm trying to.

You're the oldest?

Yes.

I am too.

There's a duty duty to being the oldest sibling, whether you like it or not.

You have to be strong for them.

Can you be strong for your brother and sisters?

We're very scared.

I know you are, but I'm afraid you don't have that luxury, Malu.

Where are you going?

To a better place.

Children are born in the water on your planet, aren't they?

Yes.

You're amphibious.

You breathe through your skin.

You have a transparent lid in each eye that lets you see underwater.

When you were a child, did you compete with other children to see who could stay underwater the longest?

Yes.

What was your record?

Three days.

That's very impressive, Malu.

Your people belong in the water,

not a treatment facility.

This journey is going to be difficult.

It will involve sacrifice, but I can promise you at the end of it there will be endless oceans and lakes and rivers for you and your siblings.

Doesn't that sound nice?

Yes.

Tell me what you want, Malu.

We're now running from work.

We want to work hard.

We're strong people.

I

want the hard work to mean something.

I want the work we do to be for us.

I want to feel proud.

Our parents were never proud.

Just

alive.

And what will you do to feel that pride?

Anything.

Good.

We'll get you some food, but don't get comfortable.

We'll be leaving soon.

Thank you.

I know it's hard, but your parents made the right choice, Malu.

God damn it.

I love it so much.

What?

What's up?

I love all of it so much.

I think, so I love this for Kazi in like several different ways.

I love that one of the few moments before she says, I love you to her sisters that we get to see just a little touch of something

is this

admiration she has for the biological differences in people's bodies.

I love it so much

because we see it later in the episode too.

This kind of admiration she has for these special qualities that each of these different

species have.

I love it.

And I love that she is so desperately trying to bolster this older sibling.

And it almost feels like it's completely

a moment of altruism for this young girl.

But then you also remember that it's a little bit of a show for Bert Bert sitting there watching the entire constructed thing too.

I mean, really, you know, like it's a really, it's such a lovely

layered scene where you get to learn a lot about how she functions and how she works I think and what she's doing you know right there's a lot going on yeah you know and then the and then and then how much we fall in love with

with Malu just in this one brief scene you know the emotional like uh

you know toll of her story even only having met her very briefly, I think is lovely too.

Right.

And it's important, you know, it's like, because it's like the sort of the hardness of the character is still there, but you do see there's, there's almost this kind of bedside manner, like a doctor would have.

You know what I mean?

Yep.

Where it's like you're still trying to stay a step back, but you do take a step forward, you know, at the same time.

And you do get a sense of like

how she gets people to, you know, follow the cause.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Because it's like, yes, I am this way, but I'm also this way.

You know, and you, you, you get that.

You, you understand why people gravitate towards that.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I just,

okay.

First of all, shout out to Maddox because just Mali is heartbreaking and the whole thing is lovely.

And I love listening to you, Jessica, talk about this, but it's like you're like, it's this thing and it's also this thing.

And then Joe is like, yeah, it's these two things.

And I'm sitting here this whole time and I'm like, it's so many now, though.

It's not, it's not two things, it's like 47 things, and you're so fucking good at this, it blows my mind because it's like a relatively simple-ish

scene.

You're just talking to her, and you're talking to

Bertbert, and like at Burtbert, and for Bertbert.

But it's like this crazy combination of

anger and gentleness and admiration and disappointment and righteous.

It's just so like that's awards.

All of the awards go to you.

It's like so nuanced and so

deep.

I don't know.

It's this, you're so good.

Thank you.

But it's the thing that I keep, I was going to say this before in Virgin's

monologue, pessimistic monologue about the way the world works.

Is what always strikes me too with these Joe is that we record them

and then there's a gap between when we record them and when they come out.

And sometimes for me, even a longer gap, depending on how long it takes me to get to listening to the episode.

And what I'm always struck by is how much I can tell in the moment it is affecting the performers because we are relating it to whatever is happening in the world at the current moment.

And it feels incredibly timely and incredibly important.

And then all of a sudden, I listen to it later and it

fills whatever that moment in time is too, which to me is the measure.

I was just talking today in

my theater 101 class about the way that the old American musicals are finally coming back again in these new iterations because they can carry things on their shoulders and the way we've watched like Shakespeare carry things on their should

different ideas on its shoulders.

And like this is why the writing is so good is because

it feels so specific to the characters and so important in the moment and like very much of a very particular world, but

it just supports

so much of whatever the moment is that we're in right now, too, is the reason why I think it's so effective.

So,

yeah,

it's a real gift to get to do it and then to listen to it over and over again.

So, thanks.

Well, I appreciate that.

And, you know,

I think part of it is why I like things like science fiction.

Yep.

Because

it can stay

right with you in the present, you know.

Because you apply the present to it.

Right.

Whereas something that is a period piece, say,

might not, you might not be able to apply the present to it.

You know, it might be locked in that place, you know.

Or maybe not something that's a period piece, maybe something that was just made 20 years ago, you know, and you can't apply the present day to it.

But science fiction, it's like

it can always travel with you.

Right, or something that's trying to be

something that's trying to be literal about the story it's telling you.

you.

You know, I mean, there's beautiful pieces like that about, you know, that function that way.

But it's why I like really good,

I don't like all horror movies, but I like really good horror movies because in my brain, what they're doing is investigating something very real in the world.

And it's so hard to actually translate what certain horrible, terrifying things are in real life.

And the closest we actually come to experiencing that is by putting this other layer on top of it

that is fantastical in some way.

You know, that's why

so many horror movies really are

about,

you know,

are the closest to capturing what it feels like if you're a mother who's lost a kid.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Like

almost more so than movies that are about a mother losing a kid.

You know?

And I feel like, yeah, I feel like sci-fi has that power too.

Like it actually, in some ways, through the circuitous route of being non-realistic.

I'm doing air quotes.

Right.

Like, brings you actually into a much more real

emotional state that actually feels like the thing in real life.

I hope that made sense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it made sense.

And I think it's definitely totally true.

And I agree with it 100%.

And I also think

it's not all sci-fi.

Yes.

It's like you do a thing, Joe, that is not just sci-fi.

Like sometimes when I'm trying to, people ask me,

it comes up that I have this audio drama, right?

And they're like, what's it about?

And I'm like,

um,

well,

it's a diner.

Because even now, like in season four, trying to explain it as like, well, it's this time-traveling dimension-spanning diner that shows up somewhere in the universe that we're getting sick.

I'm like, but that's not what it is anymore.

You know what I mean?

It's different.

And in some ways, it's like the sci-fi-ness of it is just their office

or it's just where they live.

So it's like, yes, it's sci-fi.

Yes, it's comedy, but it's also just like pure storytelling.

And I think that's why

it works like this.

So there.

Okay.

All right.

Anyway, everyone's doing a great job, is what I'm going to say.

Especially Jessica.

Nice gun.

That's a widow's revenge, right?

It is.

Thank you for noticing.

I see you've got the ampidextrous grip option.

Well, I like to go a lot a different way.

I've heard that about your kind.

I love it that it sounds like product placement.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

The

Widow's Revenge Company

paid us some space dollars to advertise their gun our show.

Okay.

I'm going to throw this couch at them.

When I do, you open fire.

Sounds like a hoop.

Here we go.

Alright.

That cut right there, that cut is so good.

Audio Smash Cut.

Pioneering the audio smash cut here at season.

Here at season four.

Nice.

And that's a fine day's work, is what that is.

Hey,

Sven.

Look at you.

You're still alive.

I guess you were unlikely to die after all.

Though,

nothing's certain in this world.

Fucking racist.

That'll teach him.

I mean, actually, it won't because he's dead, but I mean, you get it.

They shot the bartender.

Bastards.

I've been going through a dry spell lately, so

I'm going to go ahead and categorize all this as a sexual experience.

I'll allow it.

Verge.

Tita.

Tita, are you done?

Yes.

Can you wrap it up, please?

Tita.

Some of my favorite lines

are to Tita, like

checking in on what's happening.

You could just feel

so much of because it's just like waiting around for like Tita to do whatever like chaotic folks she's going to do.

And she knows it's necessary, so she's going to allow it, but it is incredibly annoying.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like, everybody's dead.

The bar is falling to pieces.

You know what I mean?

Are you done?

I just picture, like, you know how the Victorian ladies used to wear the little clock

on a pin on their shirt, just the tiny, little, tiny piece.

And

Kazi's just constantly checking it.

Checking the time.

Well, see, I've got this fantasy.

I really want this empire to fall, and I really want to be there when it does, Because I am going to stand on its neck when it takes its last breath.

And I'm sure you have the speech already written for when you're standing there.

Oh, no speech.

Just I lived.

Bertbert,

did you know that Verge has four arms?

What?

A separate set of smaller arms further down their torso.

They keep them hidden, binding them with a tight cloth to avoid being detected as a vapian.

Their planet was very mountainous, so evolution granted them an extra set of appendages to help them cling to a rock face.

And now,

that gift is always hidden.

You beautiful creature.

Look what they've done to you.

It's a wonderful poetic flourish, Verge, to want to stand atop your enemy and say you lived.

But let me just ask:

did you?

Did you live?

Hopping from dying planet to dying planet, always watching your back, unable to have friends, unable to love.

this to you is living talk about like and here we have Jane right yeah your life doesn't belong to you it belongs to your boss I uh like this is one of those like with every season pretty much there are like moments that I have like just hanging up on my wall until I finally get to them and this was one of those like that this passage was like one of those moments I was like

I'm sitting here like haven't haven't even started chapter 33 yet.

You know, and I'm like, I have this moment underneath.

You just got to kind of put it up on the wall.

And you just, every once in a while, you look up, it's just like, I'm getting there.

With every episode, it's just like, I'm almost there.

And then you finally get to it.

It's like, oh, fucking finally.

And now it's there.

You know, I was very excited about

that whole sequence.

Oh, yeah.

It's a beautiful speech.

I just, I love to, I get the impression that Kazi just has this list in her head of all of the the physical features that all of these different

beings have that they have to hide or unable to use because of

the chaos of the universe or the TED specifically.

Like, it's part of what fuels her

righteous indignation, I think, of all of it.

That there's something in her that, like, that is so important that

there's this gift that someone has that they are unable to

use because the world has forced them not to use it.

And I feel like she's systematically traveling the cosmos doing many things, but one of them is clocking every place she stops.

Who's there that has this physical feature that they can't use?

Because that person she's going to try to get in some way.

Yeah, for sure.

For sure.

I love it.

And it's like, because thinking about like, like.

For someone to be able to like just exist naturally biologically is a foreign thing to her, you know?

Right.

Like, because we don't, we don't really know what Kazi naturally looks like, you know, because she had to construct herself, you know.

And so, seeing someone who just gets, they, they can exist naturally on their planet, like at like Malu, like they're these aquatic swimming around, aqua farming, right, fishing creatures, and they all have to work in a fucking factory, right?

You know, because this Ted hegemony has has, you know, erased all of that.

And it's like the number one crime to her.

Yeah, so I love the idea that this entire time we think that it's to give Berber the story, which clearly is a byproduct of it.

But this idea that they're specifically seeking Verge out, potentially for multiple reasons, but for Kazi, I feel like it's as much because of this particular thing.

And we learned that at the end of the episode, we learned that there's only

just over 200 vapians left in existence.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And then she gets to Cryptesia, and it's a bunch of, it's humans, and they're all forced to be something else.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Yep.

It's just like her nightmare.

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah.

I love that you described her like number one stoic

because like your personality is very stoic, but Kazi also is like basically

a stoic.

Right.

Like stoicism,

like this whole ethical kind of, like it's different tenets for whatever Kazu's version of this is, but it's so kind of strict and deterministic and very

her particular set of ethics and right.

And I just think it's,

I don't know, man.

She's very deep.

For sure.

And, you know, super fun to play and super fun to listen to the way that people talk about her because

I wrote to Tom after I listened to his shift notes and he referred to her as terrifying,

which I love.

But it's funny because I like, of course she is,

but

I don't actually think of her that way from, you know, from the inside out.

In my mind, she's just very practically following the things that she believes

are right, which, of course, sometimes leads to some really terrifying behavior.

But

yeah.

Great stuff.

Everybody's doing a great job.

Everybody's doing a great job.

So

I'm going to be banished to the arts and culture department for a while, but honestly,

I could use the break.

Have you found the next unstable unicorn yet?

I think I'll float around for a while.

My ship and I are still in a honeymoon period.

Um,

can you do me a favor?

Take this.

What is this?

It's my old tangle.

It hated me.

These things could be tracked, Berts.

Yes, I know, but I'm sure there's some sort of thing you can do to make it safe for you to use, right?

Just stay off the public feeds, just for messages.

I want to be able to get in touch with you, okay?

I worry about you.

I want you to be safe.

I would like to nag you sometimes.

It's what I do.

Come on.

Do it for me.

I don't want you to be alone.

Fine.

His name is Elden.

Elden.

He was Murphy Brown's house painter.

It's a long story.

Look, just.

He is Murphy Brown's house painter.

I didn't watch Murphy Brown at all.

And nanny, sort of.

Yeah, kind of a nanny.

It was great.

It was great.

You know, Elden.

Okay, so Murphy Brown had this house painter who never finished painting her house through like 10 seasons or whatever.

Right.

And but apparently Elden is based on a real guy.

Apparently there's a guy called Gabe Keese who is the painter to the stars.

Like he's a guy who's painted the houses of like several stars and they based it like on him.

You know what I mean?

That's hilarious.

Today that it was almost Heather Locklear that played Murphy Brown.

No.

Yeah.

not have worked.

No, not at all.

No,

that's like you saying Candace Bergen was going to be on Melrose Place later on.

That would be funny, though.

I'd like to see maybe just one episode.

Right, sure.

Hello there.

Hey, who's that guy?

Hey, hey.

I'm having a wonderful time playing Elden, I have to say.

Ellen's great.

You know what I mean?

Fun guy to be around.

I have an encrypted comms node.

Yes, I see it.

You have two messages.

Newest first.

Hello, Verge.

So, yes, of course, I knew that you wouldn't come with us.

It's just so funny to me to think of Labooza like leaving a voicemail.

It's a voicemail-heavy system, you know, the triad.

A lot of voicemails out there.

You know what I mean?

I like it that way.

You know?

But it was important that we asked.

It was important for you to ask yourself, I think.

I wanted to leave you a quick message because

I charted your path a bit.

Nothing too complex, and

I don't quite know how to describe it.

So there's this mountain,

and uh,

huh?

Where do I start?

The sisters are gone now.

I don't know where to,

wherever they are,

I hope they found themselves a kinder place,

a gentler place.

Narrator, they didn't.

Sorry to screw up a nice moment, but it did did not happen.

Sorry.

It sucks there.

Or at least a place that's better than this.

Gotta be out there somewhere, right?

This is Bert Bird, broadcasting on The Under Signal.

Welcome to the triad.

Right, so this is where the movie ends.

And then the credits start rolling, and then midway through the credits.

Right.

Right.

There's a post-credits scene.

Exactly.

Right.

We got a post-credit scene.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

Labuza?

Labuza, you need to eat something.

Let her be.

She'll eat when she's ready.

I'm going to try again.

For fuck's sake, dude, quiet.

Three,

four,

five,

one million

numbers.

Two.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, shut up for a second.

What?

They're bringing somebody in.

What do you mean?

We've got a cellmate.

That's new.

Shh.

You want to stay in this room until we betray you.

you.

Hey.

Who's there?

And what'd they bring you in for?

Hello?

Does anyone in there have a cigarette?

Hey.

Hey,

word for whatever the joy of the character that's not supposed to be there being there.

Oh, Oh, man.

All right.

We did it.

Really a fun episode.

And really fun to think about, really fun to talk about.

Like I wrote it and I discovered new things

when I listened to it.

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Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network.

Here's another show we know you'll love.

Dancers on the Shore is an audio drama, but we're calling it audio theater

because these are a series of short vignettes about life.

Why don't you ever talk to us about your home?

Not much to tell.

Left when I was 15.

They didn't have any girl high school at home, so I went up to Knoxville with my cousin and went to school.

Don't you know?

Tell the truth.

It can't hurt me now.

If GL and I did something wrong, you'd beat me first and then be too tired to beat him.

At dinner, he always gets seconds and I wouldn't.

You do things with him, like riding that buggy, but if I wanted you to do something with me, you were always too busy.

I cried all the way up to Knoxville.

That was the last time I ever cried in my life.

She bent closer to Aggie and whispered something in her ear.

Then she kissed her on the mouth.

Aggie did not move.

We were beyond the lagoon scene and it got very dark.

I hoped they didn't know I had seen them.

I leaned back thinking maybe they would think I dozed off.

I didn't want to see them.

Makes me too sad.

Find Dancers on the shore anywhere.

Podcasts are found.

A member of the Fable and Folly Network.

All right, we did it.

And now it is time for questions.

Now some of you have sent in some questions specifically for Jessica.

Some of you are following up on some things.

Let's get to those.

First thing we want to do, though, is we want to say thank you to listener ALR,

who sent us something in the physical mail.

Oh,

actual physical mail.

ALR.

ALR says to the crew, thank you for making such an incredible podcast.

I got you a small but powerful tool from a recent trip to CERN

as a thank you.

And they are pencils.

They're pencils.

Set of CERN pencils.

They're kind of cool, actually, because they're magnetized.

They stick together.

They're the greatest.

Magnetized pencils, say CERN on the side there.

Very exciting stuff.

ALR, I guess, was just in the neighborhood there

in CERN town and decided to hit the gift shop.

So thank you very much for that, ALR.

It was very nice of you to send us a little gift.

Okay.

First up here, we have, oh, this is a follow-up.

Okay, so when Shelly was here, we were talking about coffee and we got on the topic of the poop coffee.

And someone has a follow-up on the poop coffee.

This is Defenestration of Teds.

Hi, Finley.

Hi, Joe.

This is Bleris, currently known as Defenestration of Teds in the Discord and in the credits.

I was catching up on shift notes yesterday, and you guys mentioned poop coffee.

Yes.

Oh, dear.

So it's called civet coffee.

And it is when, or coffee lua.

Civet.

And it's when the civet, which is a filiform in Indonesia, eats coffee cherries and then poops out the beans.

And the beans are affected by the digestive process, but not ruined.

So people collect the poop, wash the beans, roast them, brew them, and tada, kopi luak.

Unfortunately, it's become a very unethical product because, as you can imagine,

people don't really want to wander through the jungle collecting civet poop all day.

So they have some to trap and cage the civets, force feed them exclusively coffee cherries, and collect that poop and use that civet until their untimely demise.

So it's not a great practice.

And also,

it's not regulated.

So you can't guarantee that you're getting an ethical, I'm doing Eric, what's here, ethical

sourced

Kopiluak, but also you can't guarantee that you're actually getting Kopiluak.

You might just be getting scam.

So personally, I feel like for the most part, it's best to avoid.

You are definitely getting scammed.

Anyway, I love you both.

I love the whole cast.

I love everything you guys have created.

Yeah, I love you all as much as a person who has never actually met you can love you.

But yeah, thank you for everything you do.

More than mom.

More than mom.

Bye.

Thank you very much for that unfortunate update, Defenstration of Ted's.

Yeah, so turns out it's a bad idea on many levels to drink the

poop coffee from the civets.

Yeah.

I'm just looking up civets now.

Oh, honey, don't do that.

Come on now.

They're so cute, but also really terrifying.

It's kind of like

a possum and a raccoon

in one, plus something else, I can't really tell.

I don't know.

Like a possum and a raccoon and a hyena.

Wow.

Together.

Yeah.

Okay.

Out there eating coffee cherries.

All right.

Well, I hope that they, you know,

can stay wild.

Yes.

Nope.

We don't.

Please no more.

Yes.

Thank you.

And thank you for that update, Fenestration of Ted's.

Up next, we have a question for Jessica from Growing Into My Farm Boots.

In Shift Notes 34, Joe talked about how Kazi's I'm Coming Back for Everything conversation with Kroc was a turning point for how the audience feels about Kazi.

The whole scene is powerful because of the excellent writing, but also Jessica's delivery is so amazing.

I was on the edge of my seat at that scene during an already wild night breakfast.

I still get chills listening to it.

I just wanted to know how Jessica feels about it.

For example, what were her feelings going into recording that scene?

Did it feel extra weighty, like she absolutely had to get it exactly right?

Parentheses, she totally nailed it.

Did it feel as powerful for her as it does for the audience?

Also, what is her favorite moment she performed across all of her MB characters?

I was so excited about that moment.

I was so excited about that moment.

And yes, I was nervous about it because you can tell just from the script that it's, you know, the moment, right?

It's like the end of the trailer moment.

It's like,

right?

So,

so yes, I was very nervous about it.

And I'm thank you for saying I nailed it.

I really appreciate it.

I'm so glad

it's been talked about positively already.

That makes me feel great.

I love that moment too, because my entire

acting career, since I started, all I have ever wanted to be was an action hero.

Like I really wanted to be Sigordi Weaver and Aliens or,

you know, I don't know, from the Matrix, you know, something.

I wanted to like shoot something and kick something.

And

it's not something that I have ever had the opportunity to do.

So

it's

super fun to know that I can have this whole other

life as an actor, even though I'm probably too old to be doing action sequences on camera.

I could do them here with my voice, which makes me really happy.

And then my favorite moment across all of the characters.

I mean,

I do think

my most significant ex is a pretty fun moment, knowing that you're hurling

flatware at somebody's face.

Right.

I really do love, I love the

absolute kind of utter

exasperation of that moment,

her indignation at that moment.

Yeah, I love that so much.

But there's so many,

there's so many moments I love.

I mean, Mary will always have a special place in my heart because she was my first midnight burger.

Right.

And getting to say all of those ridiculous ads with total earnestness was

so good.

It was so good.

You know, so.

It was so great.

That was so great, too, because it's like you played it dramatically.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Like,

you did not try and be funny with it.

You know what I mean?

And it reminds me of like, apparently when they were doing Seinfeld, like, when they, when they would, like, have guest stars, they would never hire comedy people.

They would always hire dramatic actors because dramatic actors would commit so hard to the joke that it made it like 10 times funnier.

You know what I mean?

Right, right.

Yes.

Yeah.

It was like, just you're saying it like so earnestly and seriously.

Yes, I did.

That was very funny.

So

that was a hard episode to get through without all of us losing our shit on the

regular.

For real.

All right.

Thank you very much for that growing into my farm boots.

Also, just hearing

Bert Bert be mad and hearing Ted and Frank be mad, it's really fun to imagine what it's like when you fight at home.

Yeah, I know.

So people know that I assume this has already been discussed, but that Ben Burdick and I are married and live together.

Yes, okay, okay.

Yeah,

and actually, I have loved that too, I have to say, because Ben and I don't often get to work together.

We worked together on the show that Ben directed when I met Joe, Joe's play.

We did a play called God of Carnage together.

But since we've had kids, we have a really hard time working together because, you know,

somebody has to take care of the children.

So the few times we've gotten to work together here has been super fun.

All I want in this lifetime is to see your God of Carnage.

It was so fun.

I got to jump on his back and beat him up and scream at him.

It was really fun.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

I played Veronica once and I don't ever want to think about it again knowing that you have done it.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

All right.

Mad Maddox has several questions here.

First question, what is Whisper Dan Whispering?

It's right there in the audio.

I don't know what you talked about.

I covered, I talked about it for a second, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I talked about it for a second.

Yeah.

You know, it was something about like really loving her work.

And there was something else, but like a third thing, because I didn't write it down or anything.

I just kind of, when we were recording it, started whispering as quietly as I could into the microphone.

I love that it's compliments to Burt Burt, and Burt Bert gets so mad.

He gets like, what?

Let's see.

Did Leif ever get Burt Bert's message screaming at him?

If so, what was his reaction to it?

No, spoiler.

How did the...

points for effort?

How did the sisters, how did the sisters recruit the refugees?

Like, did they just jump planet to planet looking for aliens in need, or did they send some kind of signal letting people know what they were doing and how did they select the people going with them?

I imagined it always as like

they had several contacts and they had people who sympathized with them, but they knew they could only take about 100 people.

So there was like prime candidates out there that were just in the right particular type of situation that they wanted to bring with them.

Also, you know, there are going to be people who are like, are going to be more useful in a situation where they're colonizing a new planet, stuff like that.

So I imagine it was pretty

mercenary on some level, but also just people who,

it was people who had to be at a very particular point in their life.

You know what I mean?

People who needed, who just needed one last place to go, you know.

Was Verge's encounter with Burtbert and the sisters the changing point for Verge to actually be open to a new home and people to trust and actually do that going to Hood's pocket?

Yes and no.

So there are some things that like you hear them and it changes you right there.

And then there are some things that you hear and it just sits with you for a really, really long time.

And it and you just you just keep thinking about it kind of like in the back of your mind.

And then there's finally this moment when it comes to the front of your mind.

So I think Verge sat with the voicemail from Laif and that whole experience with Kazi for a really long time before deciding to actually do something about it.

You know, it took, you know,

I think it took Verge getting to a certain point in Verge's life.

You know.

And for Jessica, what is

one thing that you think you and Kazi have in common?

And what do you think you have in common?

It's a claw with the other characters you play.

Claw.

Yes, a claw.

Well,

Kazi and I both teach at the college level.

So

very professorial, potentially.

But I actually think one of the reasons that I like Kazi is that I don't feel like I am very similar to Kazi.

I feel like Kazi could, you know, give zero fucks about what anybody thinks about her plan.

And I'm the kind of person that

sometimes tries to bust my own table at restaurants.

Like,

I'm very conscious of the space I take up in the world.

So it's super fun to

play her.

I am an older sibling, so that's helpful as well.

And the other characters.

You know, we already talked about Mary a little bit, but I um uh I

just love I love Mary so much.

I love the Ernestess.

I think Mary probably is a little bit more like me in real life.

Um uh very very uh well-intentioned, um maybe slightly bumbling.

Um and uh

and I think um Jane again is one that I am not very much uh alike and I'm so was so happy to play such a like loud bull in a china shop.

She was really fun and I know I wasn't originally supposed to play her, so I'm glad that one kind of fell into my lap.

Yeah, it was definitely a definitely a happy accent.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Burt Burt, I would say Burt Burt is who I probably have like, like, feel the most commonality with, but I would imagine that a lot of people feel commonality with Burt Burt.

Burt I think I love Burt Burt in this story because

we have so many

so many kind of wonderful characters that have so many different kinds of extremities,

emotional,

violent,

mechanical, I don't know, extremities.

So many super smart people.

And while I think Bert Bird is quite smart,

I think she's very much a regular person doing good.

in the world and asking all the questions that the audience probably wants to ask as well.

For sure.

Yeah, so

she probably is who I feel the most personal connection with, I think.

Right.

Yeah.

All right.

Thank you very much for those questions.

Mad Maddox.

Up next we have Taryn.

Hi, mom and dad.

This is Taryn.

I just love the concept that all of the other businesses in the franchise, as it were, are public spaces or are places where people go to be

outside of their home and often places that have a regular of some sort.

I especially love this as somebody who was at one point a bartender in a seedy little dive bar,

think the sheep's eye felt very accurate to my experiences as a bartender.

That being said,

are some of these places based off of places that you know and have seen in your everyday life?

Or

will some in the future potentially be based off of places that you knew in your everyday life?

Thank you.

Have a great day.

Thank you, Taryn.

You know, yeah, I have an affinity for diners.

There was a diner that I used to go to, like there was a diner that me and my mom and my brother went to all the time when I was young.

There was a diner that I went to a lot when I was

a college student in Texas.

And yeah, there's something, the sort of simplicity, open real late,

you know,

not the greatest food in the world.

It's not pretentious it's just

it's a very serviceable place to be there's big booths you can sit in it's a place that like it feels out of place these days because it's a place where you're meant to hang out in for a while and most you know restaurants you go into are about turning getting you the fuck out right they're about like you ordering some food at a very small table and then leaving as soon as humanly possible so that they can get another person in there you know but uh diners are one of those few restaurants where it feels like it feels like you're supposed to stay there for a while, you know.

And then, like, with the paradise, like I always, I have a huge affinity for the single-screen sort of mid-century modern movie theater

because movies suck now.

It's terrible.

Not the movies themselves.

Some of the movies themselves suck, sure.

It's not about the movies, but the experience of going to the movies is like a really terrible experience for me.

Yeah.

You know, the fact that it's

the fact that there's commercials playing in the theater before the movie starts, and then the movie starts and it's 20 more minutes, sometimes 40 more minutes of not just previews, but also commercials again.

And then the movie starts and it's just like, I don't know.

I kind of hate it these days.

So I kind of, you know, I like the idea of a very simple, sort of a really great movie on one screen, some popcorn, and you know, you hang out and edit it for a while.

You know what I mean?

um but in terms of like a really specific place no it's really just about uh sort of the an amalgamation of places like that um that inspired things like the diner and like the paradise

um so thank you very much for that question taryn

um banana greeny has written in

I was re-listening to the shift notes in which you resolve the issue of where the diner crew washed their clothes, and then I thought, what clothes?

If

If most of the characters walked into the diner without having packed for their potential several hundred-year sleepover, where have they been getting their clothes?

Did Laif have time to gather his belongings from the ice hauler?

Did Ava have some clothes because she went straight from Newark airport to the diner and still had her suitcase on her?

Is Gloria collecting terrible t-shirts from all the alternative Earth timelines?

Is Casper wearing the same outfit every single day?

Parentheses, probably.

I have to know about the potentially questionable fashion choices.

Yeah, I think that that's a lot of.

I mean, what do you think about Ava's?

I love that.

I mean, I think she knew what she was looking for, right?

She may not have fully known what she was going to find.

Right.

But I do think she had a bag.

Yeah.

And, you know, I do think she's picked things up on the way, but only stuff that like is really ironically, like, she probably has like a Nixon for president t-shirt.

Sure.

You know what I mean?

Sure.

Something like that.

You know,

picked up a flannel from the miners.

Yeah, stuff like that.

People probably leave stuff behind.

Yeah.

The mining hat with the lamp on the front.

She probably took one of those

wearing it and just like, what?

Yep.

Stuff like that.

But yeah, I think Leif had some clothes on him.

Casper is definitely wearing the same thing as me.

Oh, poor guy.

For sure.

He's been wearing the same thing for over 100 years, for decades.

And you know what?

Is fine.

Okay.

No problem.

And yeah, Gloria, I think Gloria is like collecting t-shirts for sure.

Like, cause she's got, you know, we know that in her room, she's got little collections of things from different places.

And I think she definitely takes like some wardrobe choices from time to time.

You know what I mean?

Sure.

But yes, spot out about Casper.

Same thing.

You know?

All right.

Two Polar Cat

has written in.

I'm curious what it was like handing off the role of Bert Bert in a way.

Did you and Lauren work together slash talk about the portrayal of Bert Bert at different ages?

Or was that primarily a Joe's writing and directing thing?

Second, and this is the repetitive question I'm sure will be asked by some others just in case, given all the characters you voiced on the show, which was your favorite to play.

Okay, we nailed that one.

Third, do you do any other voice acting or IRL acting outside of Midnight Burger?

So the handoff question,

I'm suddenly feeling like a really terrible actor when I say that no,

there was no...

Maybe I can pin that one on Lauren since I was first.

I don't know.

Yes.

You can't.

What I am going to say is that Joe is actually quite kind in that he called me before he started recording Young Life to let me know that there would be another actress playing Burt Burt and to make sure that I understood that that was not because I was being fired, but that we actually needed

two younger voices for it.

So I really appreciated that.

And I think if I'm going to say to Polar Cat, if you feel like it feels like there was a handoff, all of the credit to that probably goes to Lauren because she was the one who

had to

take the character over in a new kind of way.

And I certainly adore listening to her do that.

So

it's been a joy to discover Burbert through her performance even more.

And

do I do any voice acting or in real life acting?

I don't do other voice acting.

This is my voice acting.

It's been amazing.

Since we've moved to Idaho, I've done some real local commercials.

Ben and I are in an Idaho lottery commercial from a few years ago.

But mainly I'm a theater actor.

That's how I met Joe.

And I am lucky enough, since we're in Boise, Idaho, which I know will shock most of you.

Jewel of the Pacific River.

But Ben runs a theater company here.

He runs Boise Contemporary Theater, and I am lucky enough to be able to jump on stage once every two years or so and still keep my toes.

Still trying to get parts for that girl he's dating.

Exactly.

Exactly.

No, don't say that because he's actually really paranoid about giving me parts.

So

he tells me as soon as I do a part that it'll be at least two years until I get to do another part because he doesn't want it to seem like nepotism.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's real serious about that.

We'll just have a talk with him about that.

Have at him, people.

Conversation.

Mr.

Burdick.

But it's been,

it's one of the reasons why this has been such a joy for both of us.

And I'll speak for Ben because he will never listen to this because he doesn't have any time because he runs a nonprofit theater and that is a fucking slog, you guys.

And also a motel.

Yeah.

So

a motel.

So I'll speak for him when I say that this has been a real gift for him because he doesn't really get to act anymore.

And he is a great, great actor.

So I'm really grateful that he gets to pop in here and kind of keep his connection to that.

I'm super grateful to you for that, Joe.

Thank you.

I love it.

Thank you very much to Polar Cat.

Oh, he has questions for me.

Joe, questions.

When you write episodes like

Welcome to the Triad and Stella Splendens that don't fit linearly into the story and step away from the main cast.

How do you decide where to fit them into the season?

For Stella Splendons, it's pretty self-explanatory why it fit where it did.

But for chapter 38, I could imagine that going in a couple of different places in the season.

Yeah, so, okay, there's a, there's, when you get into a season, sometimes there's a simmer time.

Okay, so there's a point where

you need things to simmer for a while with

another part of the story.

So you put that on the back burner and you move something else to the front burner and you spend some time there.

And so what that does is, so in this season,

we are now headed towards the sisters, right?

So because of that, it would be great to go back for a second and get to know the sisters a little bit better and also spend some time with some sort of ancillary characters in the show.

So you do that, and that does two things.

So that deepens your connection to the characters that you're about to see more of.

But also, this is an interesting thing, it creates the illusion of the passage of time.

So you're sitting there going through this other episode,

and you have the opportunity to imagine some time passing with that other thing that you have on the back burner.

So that's why you do it, and that's when you do it.

Thank you for that question to PolarCat.

And of course, I love and appreciate you all.

I'm sure I never talk about this, but welcome to the Triad is perhaps my favorite episode of the whole show so far.

Oh, this is 2PolarCat, by the way.

Thank you, Tupolarcat.

All right.

Mimetic hygienist has a question.

Has

a few thoughts.

I have ever-growing suspicions about how entangled fungi are to the grand overarching plot.

But I'll refrain from those questions that risk spoilage for now.

I've been wanting to ask about a line from Des when he was speaking to a science priest clone at the Temple of Moog about the alleged crate of Bovian gruel.

Wow.

The line is: you know, I hear it's more nutritious to eat the crate this stuff comes in than the thing itself.

It is really up to your own head, Cannon.

Is the standard shipping crate material of the triad made from fungi?

Okay.

No, it's not.

The joke there is that actually comes from something that I heard about fruit loops.

Okay.

I heard that fruit loops,

that it's actually more nutritious for you to eat the box that the fruit loops come in than it is to eat the actual fruit loops.

I don't know if that's true or not, but it feels true for sure.

Because at least you'd get some roughage, I guess, from the paper pulp.

You know what I'm saying?

Wow.

So that is in reference to that.

They are not made from.

I mean, I suppose they could be, but

it is not a plot point, to be sure.

All right.

Thank you very much for that, Mimetic Hygienist.

All right.

Little Stevie Pie has a question for Jessica.

Hey, guys.

Welcome, Jessica.

Lil Stevie Pie here.

Hi.

Jessica.

I love all the voices that you do for us here in the Burgerverse.

But which one is your favorite voice to do?

Okay, we did that one.

And also, how do you,

what gives you a clue which way to go with your voice the first time you read for a character?

I'll hang up and listen to your response.

All right, thanks.

He's taking his answer off the air.

Okay, great.

Stephen Barney.

Thank you, Stephen Barrett.

Great.

So, yeah,

when you're just starting out,

where do you go?

I go to, like a true theater actor, I go to my writer um i believe in their writing a hundred percent in you know in theater the the writing is god and joe is my god here and i do what he tells me to do and he's such a good writer that for the most part i can figure out i think most of what he needs me to do just from the way that he's

written the character.

So three quarters of my work is done saying the lines that Joe has written for me.

And then every now and then when I get it wrong, thankfully, since Joe is the hardest working person in podcasting and is on every single time I'm on, he is able to just nudge me a little bit

in the right direction, which I always really appreciate.

I think, for example, in that moment when Kazi actually tells her sisters that she loves them,

he told me to take a little bit more time with that, really make it as utterly awkward as possible, which gave me permission to do that, which I really appreciated.

Okay, but where did Kiana Crow come from?

From the writing.

I really do think it came from the writing.

I think, I really do.

I think, I mean,

I mean, I guess it's my interpretation of the writing, right?

But like, I could hear her voice in my

head.

I love it.

Yeah, it's, it's,

I love my writers.

It's nice to work at a level of writing where I don't have to do so much work.

All right.

Well, thank you for everybody.

Thank you very much for that question, little Steven.

Thank you.

Our final question, I guess the final, well, it's kind of for all of us, actually.

The final question is from Luna.

Hello, Mr.

Joe Fisher.

I have a writing question for you.

Did you expect Midnight Burger to grow so big, or did it surprise you?

Are you sort of neutral about it?

Or do you ever just go internal screaming because there's so much to do?

Okay, thank you.

Bye, Luna.

It's funny that they'd ask this week.

It is funny that you'd ask this particular week.

It is, yes.

I mean, there is a constant underestimation of how

popular the show is, as evidenced by us putting together BurgerCon and having, you know, the tickets sell out in, you know, a half hour, basically.

And it is, it's, it's, it's, it, I mean,

it's discussed at length on the Discord.

There are long discussions about the show, people quoting from the show, people getting tattoos of the show on their body.

There's all of those things.

All of those things were very unexpected.

I think

the most unexpected thing for me, though, and the thing that really does take me aback, is that I hear from a lot of people, I get a lot of emails from people

talking about how

important the show is to them and how the show helped them through a very difficult time.

And those can be overwhelming at times.

You don't really know,

all you really hope is that you'll write a story and that people will enjoy it.

And that's kind of what you hope for.

You never really expect for it to become as important to people as I hear it has become to them.

And so

that's been the most astounding thing for sure.

And that's that to me, it's not like the instantly selling 75 tickets in 30 minutes that makes it feel gigantic to me.

What makes it feel gigantic to me is

getting

very heartfelt emails from people talking about how the show has helped them through difficult times.

That's what makes it feel sort of enormous.

And that is the most overwhelming part, really.

But yeah, in general, it's been bananas,

this whole experience.

And,

you know, sometimes it, you know, sometimes it freaks me out to a degree that I

don't know what to do with.

But then also there's always work to do.

And so you get up and you just keep working and kind of don't try and think about all of that stuff.

You know, you just kind of keep to the thing right in front of you, you know, ever forward that way.

And

it doesn't paralyze you too much.

You know what I mean?

You know,

Jessica, you were just saying that some of your students have recognized you.

Yes, I've been,

we had

someone,

I never heard back from them, so they might have hated the show, but we had somebody realize that a show that I was acting in that Ben directed, that it was us

from the Midnight Burger world.

And then, yeah, I've had two or three students very sheepishly come up to me after class and ask me if I'm the Jessica Morris on Midnight Burger.

So

it's made its way to Idaho.

And I will say, yes,

that

while

Ben and I aren't screaming inside because there's so much to do, because we just get to drop in and drop out.

But what we are doing is occasionally screaming in our house with excitement because we have been waiting, Ben especially, Ben has been convinced from the moment he read Joe's first script that he ever read that Joe was,

I say this without hyperbole, like one of the best.

writers he's ever read.

And he has been waiting for this moment for you, Joe, forever.

And so, and because he's too busy and he doesn't always follow everything, it's one of my favorite things is to come running into the room and say whatever the new thing is.

Like, The Guardian says it's one of the top podcasts.

And Ben, and we will like giddily yell and scream at each other because

he has been waiting for the world to recognize this about you for so long.

It makes him so happy.

I can't even.

I can't even describe it to you.

So we are screaming out loud in our house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love it.

That's very, he's such an old softie.

He sure is.

He sure is.

He cries at commercials, but, you know, still, still take it as a compliment.

God damn, that cries for a commercial.

And then, honey, you have been, okay, you go to various invisible book events, either online or no, and Midnight Burger gets brought up as well.

It's real weird.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's weird.

So I went to a retreat and there was a woman that I met there.

Hi Catherine

whose husband teaches podcasting in like at the college level.

Right.

And so

she was talking about how the students were talking about it so much.

And that was crazy.

Because I just walked in and I had a shirt on, like one of Ramsey's

clockwork burger.

Yeah, sure.

Ramsey Hong original, sure.

I mean, maybe it's a little embarrassing that I wear my RO and merch, but it's fine.

Whatever.

It's Ramsey's.

So I wore it.

And she was like, wait a minute.

And then a whole conversation happened.

But the coolest one was that I was at a retreat and this producer, this audiobook producer was there.

And we were sitting next to each other at dinner.

And he was talking about, you know, people ask these guys all the time, like...

What kind of books do you like to listen to?

And he was talking about how much he enjoyed listening to audio fiction.

And I was like, what do you like?

And he's like, well, it's kind of freaking me out right now that I'm sitting next to Dr.

Ava Maddox.

And he had the most to say about like the name list at the end.

Yeah.

He was kind of as amazed by it as we are.

Yeah.

It now clocks in at a half hour.

But that was cool.

It surprises me every time.

Right.

It's cool.

And yeah, and yeah, everybody has a story.

I think for Tom, it's probably

there's a if you're not a comic book person, there's a comic book artist named Mitch Jareds, who is a multiple award-winning

comic book artist.

And one day, Mitch tweeted about Midnight Burger, saying that he loved the show so much.

And Tom

was just like.

Worlds collided for him, you know what I mean?

Because he's a huge comic book guy.

And so he's excited.

So I think he's going to go to C2E2 and just like say hi to his friend Mitch Jareds now because Mitch loves the show.

That's so funny.

But yeah, things like this are happening all the time.

It's very, very, very strange is what it is.

But, you know, luckily, we're so busy that we can't really think about it too much.

Anyway, thank you very much for that question.

Luna.

Luna.

And that is it for the questions.

We did it.

Jessica, this has been so lovely having you on Shift Notes.

I can't believe it's taken us this long.

Thank you for having me.

I'm so happy always to get to talk to you all and to talk about the show because I love it so much.

And hello.

I've never gotten to talk directly to the audience.

Hi, everybody.

It's so nice to officially meet you.

Thanks for having me.

It's great.

It's funny, you know, because we get into recording sessions and it's so like, we gotta hurry up.

Yeah.

It's like we have zero time usually because there's so much to get through all the time.

So it's just been nice to just kind of hang out.

It has.

It is.

And I've said to Joe before, it's like, man, I just want to hang out with Jessica.

Well, you know,

this was kind of.

Boise's not that far away from Chicago, you guys.

I'm really going to think about it.

I might crash it.

I think you should.

We'll just stop by on our way home.

Perfect.

Great.

There we go.

We'll just swing by on our way home.

All right, folks.

Thank you so much for joining us once again for shift notes.

Thank you so much for sending in all of your questions.

If you have more questions for next time, you can send them to weopenat6 at gmail.com or you can go to weopen at six.com.

You can leave us a voicemail by clicking on the little tiny microphone at the bottom right part of your screen.

And we will see you this time next week for chapter 39.

The entire story.

All right, everyone.

Thank you.

We love you.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

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Honk speed, comrades.

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Vive la Révolution.

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I pushed her.

Bethany, that is.

Cowboy and Sasquatch hunts Bethany's.

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Lost Basan.

Matt N.

The Green Street Major.

Shit.

It was a Mimic.

Basil in their T, Ashton James, Creator 67.

Daniel, Edward McDonald, Fuzzle McBumpernitz.

JS, Jenny the Crypted Paladin.

KBS 1017, Kiana Crow urges you to resist.

Kitty Cat and Lollipup can't get enough of this.

Krezimira, McKenzie, aka Zoe and Her Army of Mice.

Maverick Artist, Northerly Keebler, Poultry Landmine, Scav with Comtax, the hacker known as Ivy DeBerb, Turtles All the Way Down, Wandering Bethany Biscuit.

Mother Nerd Productions is a huge fan of ours.

Waiting to gossip with David, a feisty-ass chickadee.

Angnor, ATB, Kaiwai Lovelybead, Zoe, Breelzebub, Elise Myers, Brune Sludge, Goddess Love, Love is King, Cash Green, Elden's Father, Mr.

Smarty Pants, Fossil Diver84, Casper and Ava, Sittin' in a Tree, K-I-S-S, I-N-G, Tequila Mockingbird, Nate the Milkman, Todd Van Voris, Zigo,

Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett, Son of Defarge, Whisko Teach, Scott A.

Snellgrove, Casper's Colt, Caleb, the First of My Name,

Samolema Ding Dong, Cakey Lies, Noah Hosey, Sarah, that's it, just Sarah, Ricardo Galamba, Kari's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLZ, We Weave Em of Gossamer, Hanadon, Deeringer, Penny the Wonder Dog, and Bucky von Buckbuck, Ken Tex Oridian, Cherry Appleby, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Saucy Caesar, Lawns, Mick J67, Ava's Favorite My Little Pony Pencil.

Is this thing recording?

Craig, Mr.

and Mrs.

Drifter, Taryn, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bach Bach, Motherfucker, The Fae Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown, Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Charlie Morningstar, Son of Lucifer, Psycho Queen, Alyssa's Shiny Pants, Gondor Calls for Aid, Muscles Fatitz, Teratopsis, Kitty McSkull, Raven Stromdans, Hapless Novelist Passenger of the Dimensionally Impermanent and Temporarily Incontinent Bookshop Cafe, The Wild-Eyed Prophet, Tessa Craig, Perfectly Personalized Disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Felix Sullivan, Big Chunk, Gadides.

Sasha the Chaos God, Wandering the Cosmos with Robin, Bunny, Ghost, Beatrice, and Allie.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Alan of Time.

Will the real Moat Deeb please stand up?

Andreas Royster, Kitty Cat and Lollipop can't get enough of this.

Tobias Pollock, Jillian C., Udon, Tracy Baby, Leia.

Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table?

A singular nightbird.

I am the lizard, frantically firing flachette guns.

Bubble Faye, Mr.

Epsilon, That Bearskin and the Cosmic Pow Wow.

The Mothman, Long-Haired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, The Only Ragna Khan, Robert W., Breelzabub, Heather Smith, Karen Scott, Jessa Lorin, May Day Hoops, Telltale Raven, Myth and Stitch Embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dulio, The Brew Crew Family, Lauren Benner, Stephanie Book, Andrea Crowther, Eokai, Blaine Vitovich, Boot Scoot and Dave, Bianca, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Toy Boat, Burt Ruba, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Whimsy, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me, Bro.

Oopsie, Ilob.

The Wizard Mooses is bad at magic.

The Gathering Kind, Grimlore, Existential Pancakes, Ginny Waboom, Aaron Popsicle Stick, M.

Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Cappy, Tyler Edwards, LlamaFresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Revan the Redbeard Wizard, Bert Bird and the Funky Bunch, Karora the 12th,

just listen.

Damian Fletterjohn, ZomCon, Welcome to the Kwan Pound, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen, Pen.

Mr.

Muchacho Kaiserschnitzel, leader of the Truffle Puffs Fight Club.

The Wolves in the Deep Freeze Say Awoo!

Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's Number 2 Fans, Simpson, Alice Lewis, Aster, Even Older Liz, Mr.

Bearcat, Grack Pinfeather, Sidikin Druidic Scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for you, Grandma Panty, JS, Daniel Enright, Eldritch Ender, Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Shaloma, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Jimenez, Muffins, Space Wives, Chad Hatter, Captain Jack Hartness Wants Peter the Robot, Oreo, Oreo, no wait, pineapple, actually wait, never mind, Oreo, tell your cat I said,

M.

Arkansas Toothpick Made Me Bleed, Banana Manaz, A Corgi Cold Kibble, Cuddly Kraken, Sue Miller, The Game, Disco Techno House, Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Sahil, Varyan, Seminity, Tim, LL Cool Mint Jams, The Other Original Caitlin, Ken Daddy, Celestiani, Jaded Umbra, Chris Hightree, Millie WasTaken, Captain Ruark Atreides, Hannes, Lucas isn't a loser, he's a wiener, Ben Camp, Louise Bavnani, Shan Man Man Man, My84 Chevy, Kinran, Wabajack, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Dr.

Bootiologist the Glutes Doctor, Annie, are you O copy?

Tobias Ewing, thank you for pressing 2.

Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received.

Queen Surly Jess, R.I.P.

Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger.

Adam Toklove, Dr.

Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jeka, Greybeard, The Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking For.

Natasha Without Boris.

Spiders are cuddly.

Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1.

Even Older The Main Immortal.

Chiel Neal.

Sin City Scuba Steve.

Pollywog.

Jinx the Judgmental but well-meaning Cat.

Michaela White.

Elena Pickle.

Professor Thaddeus Snookums the 8th.

Mr.

Grin.

Glenn Petrosky.

True Trans Traveler.

This moment of silence, so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler.

Elizabeth Hammond, Funch Brunglin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt, Bromine, Pronounced Bro, Mine, Main Humdinga, Mother of Pearl, El Chingon, Sealface, Rigger Mortise, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Magically Maggie, Trevex Reject, Prophet of the God of the Muggle Waynes, Matthew with two T's, the first T is silent, Igneous Burp, Darth Ox, Aaron Arnold, Mamamander, B.

Ross and Sluntmaster J, Valen Real, The Tooth Fairy, all aboard the Struggle Bus, Choo Choo!

They Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, The Lord Reverend, Portagos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tanebras, Tan's Taffel Tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales.

Ladies, for your pleasure, Chuck, Naked, the lovely Lara Lovely, Dariel, Jeremy the Ruler, Gochi, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Joshua Soder, Scratchy Kitty, Just Some Guy from Adelaide named Rawin, Remy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says wolf.

Whiskered, Beth Annie, hold the Beth.

Randy Spears, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

Thirford B.

Chesterfield and his dapper companion, Winchester, Andrea Rose, Cheshire Corgi, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zeldia, Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana, Sasha the Wayfaring Himbo, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, Brought to You by Communism, Timothy Aotis, Chance Wants You To Know He Cares, Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Hobbes DeCoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mubi the Golden Calf, Kyrion, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Billy Rose's Stolen Corndogs, aka Kyrion, Aaron Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Daydream Wants Joe to dread the list, Angela Sanchez, Bubba485, aka Schemelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Sommelier, Stella Corvus, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, Sketchwolf, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barkley on the holodeck, Dapper Dad, ADHD Brulee, SCP-049, O Magis, Michael Laurie, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Dominique Perry, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Caption B and Lady G with their swabs, The Clockwork Vixen, Verge Fangirl, and Designated Midnight Server, Ozneth the Author, Mr.

Steam Wave, My Friend the Rhino Says Be Nice.

Jupiter Defense Squad, I hope the diner has chalky mints.

I'm gonna fight you, Billy Rose.

Elizabeth, the Night Shade Witch, Gus, Kyler Wren, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins, Crandyman, the Pug Whisperer, Garrow, Nick Gomez, Cold Blood, Our Cat Set to Tell You, Meow, Brian, Ed, and Kev, Del Casabro, Bag of Oats, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr.

Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, You May Run a Diner, but I run away.

Call Me My Love Again.

Abenasso, Trina Ward, Ada, Spooky Spader Storytime.

Andy, I slit a sheet, a sheet, I slit upon a slitted sheet.

I sit.

Lizaris, the McJimmies from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Ghoster Alagamo, Aaron Starr, Claude DeClaus, Chis Alfred, the Bullheaded Professor, Edboy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan Kay,

Another Monster, Pettabite Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Davin Davin Royal, Captain Hambone, King Felix Blaze of the Galactic Third Street Saints, Iced Heart on Fire, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents.

Dance Bree!

I'm the darn with you, I'm ready to get started.

I'm the darn with you, I'm ready to get started.

Speaku, the Bracken system and its homeworld, Wren, Simply Tony, Gabriel Castion, Jamie the Goblin of Chaos, who,

what,

why,

Wiggamores, and where are you, Billy Rose?

I'm gonna- Nico DeGaio goes great on Midnight Burgers, a dubious raptor, a drum major, and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar, retorted, God is love, love is king, cash green, sir party animal, Uloy Jackal, cat with a K, Miss Shan Fizzle, Stompenstein, El Mustachio, Lucifer Hezekiah, Lachiwawa Brava, CC Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf, Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulcet DeLeche, Zachary Langmer, Get Out of Mabooth, Bug, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Larry Fisherman, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Red Mafia Panda, Jean-Luc Gabot, Lonely Isle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's Wife, Sernoculus the Space Knight, Scrizzles, Flap, Giddy Giddy Giddy, The Fire Keeper, Peace Reaper, The End is Nigh, Jeremiah the Cancelled, Spike and Faye.

Johnny Ellen West, The Sketch of Otaku Gang, Wolf, Drake Elias, Fermi's Paradoxons, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade's Short Sword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal.

A damn!

Michael Chapman, C.J.

Johnson, Saggy Bottoms 83, A Dragon Sitting on a Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Smivey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, The Soup Witch, Fetashini Alfredo, Amalgamous Packs, Pebbles, Princess V V, Heathen King, Effie Rawlings, Philip, Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Borough, Midnight Plumber, Mr.

Cherry Loves Baby Bach Joy, Happy Anniversary, International House of Yearning, Danny the Give Casper a Pinball Machine, Morlock, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Ellie the Cosmic Janitor, Slev of Bahamut, Umbra Messaram, Cam and Micah, Blaine Vitovich, Boots Scoot and Dave, Niathan Churi, Save the Mongoes, Jessica Engela, Kevin Dotry, Adam Wolf, Martin Deeres, Entropy Eigenbasis, Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Matt B., Richard Ryan Moschel, Theodore and his son Henzo, D.

Flower, Kella T Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Parmesan Goose, Jen Rhodes, Kevin Lutra, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Alan Berglund, Dylan Winslow, V.

Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey.

I hope something good happens to you today.

Yes, you, Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mom, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Ron Hayden, Dan Gentry, Postmaster General Kwan Sentmate, Stephen Duro, WhisperDan, Mad Maddox, Omi Gracie, Fred and George, The What Weekly Media Database, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cassie Williams, Yeet My Boy, 46 Tool Shed 2, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Lizzie R., Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Melt has just been told 2025 is actually real, real bad.

Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Gregory the God of Chaos, sitting down to tea with the other beings of chaos, Never Child, Dr.

Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko, Lil Kev, Kozumine, Jonathan Burton, Mr.

Man and Lady, Joey B, Ali Malik, DJK, DJK.

Taryn says, hey, Oreo's our rabbit.

Sandalwood Mountain is an odd way to refer to Hawaii, but it worked for Henry.

Whimsical Fuckery, Megan with an H.

Hey, it's me again, warranty, lady.

What happened to us?

You never returned my calls anymore.

Did we lose our spark?

Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, the Big Moose, Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler, Alex Berry, Eden DePoussay, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack.

Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen, The Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spence, Galaxy Britches, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, Patrick Stevens, The Wild Thistle, Most Likely Cass, I Hate Samores, Jay Harlow, Three-time Mungo Rodeo Champion, The Cosmos Cruising Cadillac, I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr.

Caber Ant, also known as Omni.

Thanks, Waffle Chateau, Fruitcake, Michael Odom, Zephyr McZero, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamolio, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Cloudy Andy, Prime Freak, Walter Piakarsky, Droid Pirate Friendly and his Rubinesque Parrot.

Droid Pirate Findly and his Rubinesque Parrot.

Stuck in a pit of skittles.

Drunken Coyote, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piakarsky, Adrian R.

Phoenix, Kimberderp, Mr.

Timms, Sandy the Bobandy, Dead Wait, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cremulous is just happy to be here.

The Twisted Twixter, Six Seasons in a Movie, Fake Queen, Core, Showtime.

C.R.

Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes?

CCTX Girl6823 Waiting on the Diner.

Melissa Winskill, Nicole Studioso.

Time, My Shovel.

Kay the Penguin is out collecting those infinite clementines.

Just a Potato, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, The Cowboy.

Why couldn't the police catch Lana Banana?

Because she split.

Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vittles.

Not sure what I'm doing.

Leah Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullisy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Terwin, Scrambled Eggs, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Charlotte Tobiah, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White813, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck.

Oh, Mamama.

Drought Breaker, Glorb Nar7.

Doooser ate the corndogs and blamed it on Billy Rose.

The other Adele.

I named my cat Leaf, and it made him an evil genius.

Chef Galval, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Mr.

Arnie Arbuckle Sr., Sierra Not from Arkansas, Z-Goo, Ebenezer Boob.

You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Jake Cascade, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, The Milkman, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr.

Me Pod, A Cat Named M, Palace, Ethan Cobb, Big Moe, Brian O'Neill, Edward Pena, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed.

I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

The Stone Fox, Solivia, Juiceton, Marauder Mitch and Pandergast, Papitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Britwards, Ashleysaurus, Momo's Mama, Tony Tony Tony, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Fickle Phil, Myrtle, Caitlin Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Sea, Mr.

Trigvy, Printing with Cats, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dinah, Amanda Nascarella, Jose Zatino, Sonny Stagg, a representative of the Pill Owls, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Ducky Ventures wonders where Professor Crow went.

Revibe, Debbie E., Emma, Mr.

and Mrs.

Owo, Ronnie Porter, Eagle Rock Lobster, Mary, Like the Virgin, Rosetta, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Pharrell, Betty Hayes and the B-Team, Emily with Two E's, Drousey Rousey, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thrible?

Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, D.

Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scoracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy Doing Crimes, Leopard Donut, Poofy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Scipio Dudah, Buffy's Daughter.

A quick pause so that Joe can sip from his tiny teacup.

Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stoles, Shadow Rapture, Yet Another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Llama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Ibsen, What the Hell?

Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Atlas Bear, Tora Smash, the podcast for nerdy Jews, Axel, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Boysenberry, aka the Boys, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Jack's Nightmare, Kennan's Girlfriend Brooke, The Kells.

This week, I'm Just Catalina, Shrugs, Jenny on the Blockchain, Angry Leafs Laser Saw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Koos Koos Carol, Skexies, Randy Zamigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, I Said White Mountain Chimkin Nuggist, Police Sir, Max Danger, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naya Nix Reno, Robert Frankenberry, Elden's Father, Mr.

SmartyPants, Honeybee, Nordalbash, Jordan, Arwen X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafeweisen, Monica and Mason K, Tony Wants to Be Laif, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nihilist, The Timid Ghost 23, Dr.

Dr.

B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Your Humdigger Moonbringer, The Other Scott, Letty Lou.

He was a shifty one, that Nick Howard.

Kinger was here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr.

Bebop says armless hunchback's face rings a bell.

Warped Echoes.

Lord Robert O'Tartis.

He's bigger on the inside.

Jeremiah Franco, Gothic Rainbow.

So We Made It.

Fossil Diver84.

Micah Collins, Cody McClure, M.

C.

Hadley, Eternal Companion, Jingolos, Hasmatilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church.

I am a Lafe on the Wind.

Static Ego.

Some Farting Fart Wizard.

Lolly.

Evan M.

Dobson.

Dave B.

Sean C.

How Did I Get Here?

Oh God, is that the soup?

Going to be lit.

I am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Omega ny frankin a field the hairy christina sennett is teleporting brb

i gather under the flag of the hag definitely not an android seriously i'm not the wandering welchman whatever tabby carolyn harper nikolai tolkachev capo the sartorius z3dt shy sparrows b ltn the kiwi duckling glenn morris crushable hail 53 dameron the space goblin locksmith andy iso pale humming bee bumblebird made it to 38 and wants everyone to come have cake Pocket Ghost Max from the Pocket Dimension in Your Pocket.

Rose Alt.

Mags the Conqueror.

Wes and Heather have made it.

My cat's name is Beef.

Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy.

Victor Casados.

Emily Shmemley.

Work for Melvis.

Bohogo, bye-bye for Jojo.

Pogo, that's a no-go, bro.

Cody Monster.

I am Lure of the Planet Omicron.

Percy I8.

Kneel before your supreme ruler.

Tybo, Miss Nixie, Baby Bate and Lee.

Karen Gallagher, Kyle Perino, Amber King, Sid the Sloth on a Bike.

Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, Understands the Assignment, Lil Stevie Pie, Return to Sender, Carl, the Teller of Dad Jokes, At least Six Gyms, Skylabs, Multi-Dimensional, Multiphasic, Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Kelly W., Holly Hooten, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suasian, Too Many Jams!

I'm gonna ignite you, Billy Rose!

Pamela Rose Eltiera, then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Nicole D.G., Countess Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrels, Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love is for the Nyerds, Taz Hernandez, It's Just Tyson now, Casper needs a hug, Joe is the writer's room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Estelle, Kim Sell, Silly Goose, Honk Honk, Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory and his mom, It's just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Char Noble 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Ben Barr, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoomples, Nicole, I love you, but I will name kid to Brothar, Fernwood Gal, Twinkle Tots, Shocking Developments Nearby, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horn Swagglin Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, it's a fucking dog rapture, Abigail LaHoo, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Dunna.

Alexica Habaniera.

Code Stranger.

One bat-e-bat.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Monad Nick, Freelp.

M.

Lin, Feed MaFish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Teds Loves Catherine, J Spark, Eevee Girl, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie Span Stand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Magorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B.

Hold it now.

Hold it now, hold it now, hold it now.

Hit it.

Oh no, you actually hit it.

You've incurred the wrath of the Society of Bethanies.

Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, Vicki Abear, Brad Manier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Crazed Bear, Evinala.

Dr.

Lattice Trash Angel hits it and doesn't understand why people would want to punch a bottle now there's smelly liquid everywhere.

Noble Barrel.

Yes, my brain is weird.

Thank you.

Bibbity-boppity boom.

Megan the Meg Young, Baby Bears Love the Diner, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Azana, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Dome Age, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Sir Shitzalot Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Sarah Maguire, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' B.

Anthony, J.

Way Mythical, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Tess Bart, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Fontucky Wrangler, Jessica Shelton, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, I'm So Antigone Fun, Noah and Katie, Joe R., Sarah Murphy, The Ambergler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simeoni, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Zejoni Veda, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Beatrice Bodacious, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, TNB Lemmy, Sonny the Anomaly, Charmay, K.

On with Karma, The Wondrous Methazaphon, Perstephanon, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Samira, Flat Dug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Bookshift Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inschuldegan, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's Number One Fan, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Deli Cruise, All My Homies Hate Croc the Propagator, Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Astronaweeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Me and my best friend Pressure Cooker vs.

the World, Starlight, Berserking Off, David Piorini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Wheeze Laugh.

Mossy would come up with a cool name, but sadly, she's just Mossy.

La Cockney Francaise, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, A Bug Named Nat, Potato Nation, CC Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Rusty Accord, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Alcockinator, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Paul A.

Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr.

Punk Usher Esquire has a ticket to see David Lynch's Return of the Jedi at the Paradise.

But Jolanth, Lafe's One True Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney DePona, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthonomy, Megan Mighty, Purple Saline, Miss Chris still making sandwiches, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Captain Blepp, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Amelia L, Shiny Melon Fear Now, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo.

Tonight at 11,

Ilate Raul, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick.

It's just Blake.

Alice Malice asks: How many chains could two chains chain if two chains could chain chains?

Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Denkey, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from Another Universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Broccoini, Ava, no, not that, Ava, the one with it,

Grimm, Zackinat, Underwater Corvid, Spizerinctum, Michael Christian, Ransom, Run Mai Salil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Meissen, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, India Holbert, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatuichi, Justine Burbank, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bee.

The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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