511: The Pest of Both Worlds, Pt. 2 [ft. John Robert Wilson]

Previously on mission to zinc.

You know, Nerman, I gotta hand it to you.

When that engineer said they had figured out a way to get us back home, I thought it was gonna be really complicated, but they made it very simple.

Yeah, if you ask me, it seems like nothing bad is ever gonna happen again.

Why would you say that?

Yellow alert.

Yellow alert.

All bow before the undying will of the grower mine.

Oh no!

Impossible.

I myself strangled the last keck in the known galaxy on the surface of Darzax 4.

And yet, here we are, Captain.

Guys, listen, we've gotten the key to stand down once before.

We just need to get Bargie here.

Bargie can talk him down.

That's all we need to do.

You have guaranteed that your assimilation will be incredibly painful.

Captain, permission to be assimilated?

Permission not granted, Lieutenant English.

Lesis!

Resisko's king!

Well,

hello?

Blow a mind?

My cherry and cheek, you must meet our son.

What what?

What?

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on!

We have a son, the Britsling of the Swarm, and you must meet him.

The dawn of a new cast!

Wow.

It is not a weaver.

It is not a royal drone.

It is not an Auroch.

It is not a soldier.

It is not a queen.

Uh-huh.

I'm releasing a pheromone to instruct all of my children to stop their onslaught.

Oh, oh, fuck.

This is also mostly fecal matter, I assume.

Certainly smells like it.

Smells like a tail.

It's on my lungs.

So they're standing down.

It looks like all the bugs have gone away.

Bargerian change.

I promise you, if you come to the planet, you will be compelled to become Queen of the the Swarm.

Whoa, Bargie, Queen of the Swarm?

Jeffrey, Grow a Mind.

How many times did I tell you?

What happened in the past is open.

No matter.

I haven't been called that name in years.

Grow a mind, I have no interest in you.

Bargie.

Okay, but there's one thing I promised myself after I disappointed Tree Boy or whatever.

Whatever the name is at this moment.

Your son?

Yeah, but I what a man you gotta you gotta remember that name.

Yeah, that's important.

Tree boy, lagoon kid.

Anyway, lagoon kid.

I promised myself

I would never let my next child down.

I'll meet my son.

Take me to my son.

Guys, the device is nearly complete, and it seems like the attack has paused.

Now's the time.

Yeah.

The plot has thickened a little bit, Nermit.

We have to get on Bargy and go down to the Grower Mind's home planet.

Oh, come on.

Right now, we're going.

We just, we're gonna go back to six.

Come on.

If the Bargerian Jane does not comply, I'll be compelled to continue my attack on this ship.

I will assimilate all energy sources and assimilate all living creatures.

I will also release more fecal pheromone.

Alright, we're

We're on our way.

We put it that way.

Jeez.

Captain, we must open mouth kick.

No!

I'll never.

Death kick strength is too hard to overcome.

Wait.

Where is it going?

What a stroke of luck.

Captain's log supplemental.

The The Kek have mysteriously ceased their attack on the RSS Synergy.

They've become consumed with molting their exterior shells.

I don't know how much time this has bought me, but I'm making my way to the bridge of the Synergy with hopes of sending a distress beacon to Ku headquarters to see if we can save the remaining survivors of the Synergy.

And perhaps even dispatch of our Kek Nemesis before they're allowed to grow any stronger.

I regret when we made first contact with them, but we've been fighting them for generations.

We may yet win this day.

Alright.

I gotta go around the block again.

It's another one of the conferences or something.

Huh.

Yeah.

But this car is all a glass cogs.

I tell you, Justine!

This rusty bucket of trashy bolts is just like our relationship!

Mom, mom!

Just listen!

Will you just stay?

Every couple years, I gotta get this Regon Elantra tuned up to prevent bigger issues down the road, right?

Yeah.

And you went to that boxing ship down the avenue to maintain your physical wellness, right?

Uh, yeah.

And you also gotta get your highlights redone at the salon, even though they fired you.

I did the best highlights in the whole salon.

But you stole the janitorial supplies, Justine.

You put it on yourself!

Mom, I know, I'm just saying.

Going to therapy is just like all of that.

It's routine maintenance for your mental and emotional wellness to prevent you from going out of control and punching an old man at the yoga studio in the face again.

Are you speaking fun of me?

I don't know!

You're very sensitive and also very aggressive, Justine, just like me.

Oh, thank you.

Better help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone, and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

Okay, it could be more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours.

Oh, wow, you invest all your time in men who don't love you because everyone's trash, so why not invest in this?

Why did AJ leave you, Justine?

I like this.

He was good for you, just chill.

Anyway, I heard you can get ten percent off your first month at betterhelp.com slash ZYXX.

Wow.

Alright, but um...

Don't give me that look.

I'm recommending this to you, okay?

Everything is trash, and people keep judging my chase.

Okay, maybe I should also consider therapy.

Really?

I'm so proud of you.

I love you.

I love you too, Mom.

Betterhelp.com/slash ZYXX.

I love you so much.

So this is wild that the actual Keck brain is in the Femme Galaxy?

What are the chances, right?

Yeah, but we like met the grower mind, right?

What's this brain that you're talking about?

AJ, the grower mind is sort of like a central nervous system that's connected to every keck in the universe.

Whoa.

And we're gonna meet the brain, the head bug.

Okay.

Follow-up question.

Is there gonna be honey on this planet?

Honey.

What are you talking about?

Like space honey.

Like, keck honey?

Space honey?

What are you?

What is space honey?

What?

I don't know.

Guess wait, let him describe it.

Yeah, yeah.

Good coffee.

Yeah, I mean, when we were, you know, it was kind of a myth.

You know, all the clinch, we'd be sitting around the kind of power generator at night talking about the keck and somebody told me once that there was space honey if you kind of crack them right you know you can get some space

was this maybe an older clint who was yeah i mean it was the clint that was he was a real this guy was an asshole like this guy was like a real

you know no one liked him

he suggested that you crack open the keck and suck out the honey yeah i tried it a bunch of times and it tasted awful and i puked a bunch of times but

did it taste like the pheromone smell?

Yeah, it tastes like farts.

Yeah.

If the space honey is gonna be anywhere, it's gonna be on this planet, right?

If you see any, let me know.

You got it.

Honey, it worked activated.

Oh man, wow, I've never seen that beacon on the top of your helmet before.

Wow, look at all these craggy mountains and canyons down there.

Sort of creepy.

Yeah, I kinda

got the sense it would be a little nicer.

I mean, this is where the boss lives.

That's true.

I don't get the impression that Keck really needs a lot of, you know, infrastructure.

They kind of make their own fun, you know?

You know what I think the planet looks like?

A lot of broken promises.

It actually does look a little bit.

Yeah, I can see that, actually, Bargie.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Can I be honest with you?

I'm pretty sure it's not my son.

Whoa, whoa, heavy.

Bargie.

Boy,

Oh, now.

Yes, I forgot we.

Oh, I was just saying how excited I am to meet a son.

Yes.

That is exactly what Bargie was saying, yeah.

So excited for this to happen.

Yes.

We have been anticipating this date, and you are bestowed with the greatest honor of being the first non-tech creatures on our planet.

You are being escorted to our central nervous brain.

Really?

So you probably pulled out the good space, honey.

Hey, Jay.

I don't think it's happening, buddy.

We can offer you a ceremonial liquid upon entrance of the sacred cave.

I'm not gonna want to take that.

How many pheromones are in it?

Be honest.

It is but one pheromone.

A mixture of.

How many T's in the butt?

Oh, that keck just pulled on a little pointer.

Hundreds of millions of years ago.

During the first awakening of the genetic material of

where'd you get that little hat?

I like that.

It's so official.

It's faith of mucus, and I've okay, yeah, it's hard.

I formed it, yes.

Yes, a little mucus tour guide hat.

Very nice.

Yes.

It's also weird that they made us bring a weaver on board just to stand here and narrate what was happening.

They should have just

given us coordinates.

Yeah, we know how to get places.

Do we?

Where was was I?

Ah yes.

Hundreds of millions of years ago, a meteor hit this planet carrying the amino acids that started the perfect genetic line that was to be the catch.

Given eons of evolution and genetic manipulation, we have developed ovocannons that have spread our seeds into the inhospitable environment of space.

Our eggs are able to hibernate indefinitely until they eventually run into something.

Through this process, we've been able to assimilate dozens and dozens of galaxies in this cluster.

Any superior genetic material we assimilate to continue to create the perfect caste system that starts with the queens, the royal drones,

the aurochs, the weavers,

and the soldiers.

This is fascinating, but this part I think we sort of already have heard.

Well, if you look out to the left-hand side of the vessel, you can see a vast ocean of brain fluid that has been feeding our brain for thousands and thousands of years.

Cool.

And how does that stay, you know, plentiful?

We harvest the cerebral material from other creatures across the galaxies.

Oh, so this is more like a reservoir.

It wasn't naturally on this planet.

It's sort of a big bowl of brains.

Yeah, it's like a potluck.

Hey, look!

Hey, look!

They're all watching my movie.

Wow, Wow!

Big fans!

Right, the Bargerian Jade films are incredibly popular here.

You're not just playing it because Bargie is coming to the planet.

This actually happens on a regular basis, be honest.

It can be both.

That's true.

Huh?

You know what?

Got me there.

He's a fun tour guide.

What movie is the one everyone likes the most?

Uh, uh, the one that everyone likes the most?

Ship it, shack it, chuck it.

Oh, Oh, interesting chuckle.

Oh, wow.

That was the surfer rock musical, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

Archie, are you gonna be able to catch this wave or what?

Ships up, delicious.

Wow.

My costume died.

What are we flying into a cave right now?

Okay.

Look at this place.

That's

Cool.

All of these are secretions that we've hardened over time.

Made by the swarms.

Secretions?

So is this like a honey cave?

We are approaching the very outside of the brain.

We must land here.

It is unsafe to fly any further.

Uh, okay.

Uh, Growermind, do you want us to come out, or is this sort of just between you and Bargie?

What's your lives and actions at the moment are inconsequential?

Okay, all right.

Do whatever you do whatever you like.

Okay, fine, great.

Thank you.

I guess we should probably go just in case.

Let's see if there's honey.

I don't know if that brain.

AJ, I just don't want you to be disappointed if there isn't any honey.

I don't think you can promise that, buddy.

I really hope there is, honey.

Behold, the first non-tech creatures to lay eyes upon the brain of the grower mind.

Am I the only one sort of expecting it to be bigger?

Yeah.

Pleck, this is a pretty big brain.

I mean, as brains go, it's big, but it's the size of like Jan's minivan.

Yeah.

Argerian Jane, now that you are able to see my true form,

what are your true thoughts?

Oh, look at it wiggling while it's speaking.

It's so weird.

The brain's like wiggling.

I still must speak to you through this royal drone.

The brain does not have a mouth or vocal cords.

Right.

But it's definitely excited.

All those illuminated tendrils connected to the mucus stalagtites?

Listen, I'll say this, okay?

Your

personality

is what

I'm gonna help me out here.

I'm attractive.

I don't know what you're going for, I think.

She's trying not to say that.

offend them because they're gonna probably destroy and kill all of you if I say that.

Like, in a kind way, be more like, it's a personality, even though it really honestly wasn't.

It's just I was in a low part of my life, and then I got good again, then I got low again, and then I got good again, then I got low again.

And generally, they coincide whenever I'm going through, like, a low period of my life, because I kind of am like shameless and I don't really care about personality or physical creatures.

Yeah, I think

she knows that they are.

But like, how do I like

in a really nice way so they don't like killing

maybe tell them they're brave.

Wait, I know what to say.

I know what to say.

Yes.

Excellent.

That is the answer I expected.

Oh, good answer, Braggie.

Good job.

Yeah.

For the first time in thousands of years, the first member of the new princely cast of the cat will be revealed.

The offspring of the grower mind and the the Bargarian James.

I just remind you that nothing ever happened physically between Jeffrey and I.

So, like, scientifically, this never would have come to be.

I mean, yeah, I don't really get how any of this works, Barges.

Wow, Bleck, really?

Here are you gonna bring that up?

I know, I don't mean like a ship hole thing.

Wow.

Where is my son?

Behold.

Hoy!

Hoy!

Oh no.

Is he alright?

Does that bug have one wing?

Yeah, like Bargy, but in a misguided way.

Pargi doesn't really like vomit eggs.

No.

It's not really so much a vomit as it is a coil, you know.

That's a good point.

And the sound is stupid.

Hello, little friends, and apparently this is my mom lady here to say hello.

I don't see any any resemblance, honestly.

I'm your son, Grobo.

I'm the newest level of perfection of the swans.

I took parts from all of your movies and created

Robo in your image.

Oh no.

Perfect image.

Wait, so Grover mind the princeling is an amalgamation of RG movies?

That is correct.

Oh, no.

That does pretty honestly a good Pratfall.

Grobo, sure, but at what cost?

Luckily, his fall was cushioned by all the eggs he had vomited.

I doodles!

Oh wait, I know that line.

Uh, wait, are my movies bad?

Is this movie?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm almost a shepherd, I'm not.

Isn't it weird that I see the resemblance?

Grobo, you're you're an actor?

That's what I am!

I was bred to be an actor and make these perfect eggs to send out across the universe.

Listen, Pardee, isn't that what you wanted?

You know, I know you and Blimpy have always had a lot of tension because he didn't want to follow in your footsteps.

And now here's Grobo, who really seems keen on- Ahhhhh.

Now that you have seen our son, you must take your rightful place by our side.

Become queen of the swarm.

All worlds and the creatures will be yours to control.

Lemmy, can I have a moment with Grobo to connect?

Yes.

Hello, Grobo.

I am the Vigerian Jet.

Tell me a voice.

Dad tell me a lot about you.

Oh, that voice!

I thought.

This voice is statically manipulated.

Perfect!

Gotta!

Both I'm gonna fall down again!

Oh, Grobo.

I like feel angry looking at it.

What about listening to it?

Grobo, it was nice to meet you, but I now have to go.

Thank you very much.

Good luck with everything.

I'm uh, I'm sorry.

Bargie, I think we have to.

Oh, no, no, it's crying.

Robo, I am not your mother, okay?

Yes, you were created using the essence of my films compiled together to create whatever it is that you are.

Wait,

Waven!

Daddy was right about you.

This is quite unfortunate.

My trillions of hearts are cracking open because of your lack of empathy and love for our family.

This is riveting.

Really wish I had some honey to eat.

What does that have to do with anything?

AJ, what does that have to do with anything?

Honey is not something you eat while you watch...

What exactly is a battle fluid?

It is a mixture of bile and urine that secrete through our foreaxes.

Technically, stay funny, though.

There's no way that's good for you.

Oh, bother.

My children, seize these horrible, heartbreaking beings.

No, no, no.

You will be assimilated into the swarm.

Your callousness and unfeeling brains will help us deal with our emotional problems in the future.

Oh my.

Bargie, Bargie, take it back.

Say you love Grobo.

We're all gonna die if you don't.

But I don't- I feel nothing for Grobo.

My children, assimilate the intruders and

seize the bargain and change.

No, no!

Got this out!

Beavers to the left!

Both sides!

I'm here to kick ass and eat space honey, and I'm all out of space honey.

There was never any space honey, AJ.

I can't believe we escaped.

That's terrifying.

Okay, for the record, Darn I could have taken all of them.

Yeah,

no, no, I agree.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we could have done it.

We could have done it.

We just got it now.

You know, the cat as a species are a lot more harrowing in a body like this.

I just.

Yeah.

I mean, I liked Grobo, but the Grower mind is.

Wait, hold on, is that?

You liked Grobo?

Wait, what do you mean?

Yeah, he was.

Come on!

No, I know.

No, we all met there, man.

We all met Grobo, but.

I don't really care about that.

I've had emotional upheavals and downfalls and uphills that I go through.

Sorry, Barge, your death experiences make us callous.

Bargie, as soon as we were done saying how much we all didn't like Grobo, we were going to ask you what you thought.

Yeah, so what do you think of your son that we all don't like?

They were the most beautiful beautiful thing I've ever seen.

What?

Oh,

coming around on Grabo.

Okay, so it's fortitude, didn't care for,

thought was a beautiful thing.

Does it mean that I'm its mother?

Yeah, I mean,

it's kind of a tribute to you, if anything.

Yeah, like a goddamn thing.

You know, Bargie, you just got to take some time to process it.

I mean, I think what I learned today is that the Grover Mind really cares about you.

You know, maybe he showed that in a

off-putting and disgusting way but I think you know it's hard to deny

off-putting and disgusting

affable Nerman were you on the planet with us

no no it's not it doesn't mean what you think it's affable

Bargie Bargie Bargie Bargie I just want to say we're all here for you that was a that was an emotional roller coaster

the grower mind's love for you helped save this energy he didn't cut off the attack because of you Huzzah.

Now we can go home.

Cause I mean, like, you know, I'd love to keep

talking about Grobo, but,

you know.

Yeah, well, we gotta fly back.

We gotta fly through the device.

I bet the others have finished it.

Yeah, Bargie, let's get back to this synergy.

Oh, no.

Really?

I feel like we could all just skip over this.

Let's see the clip.

Hi, Mommy, Bargy.

It's your favorite son, Grobo.

I I just wanted to say you left without saying goodbye.

So, mommy, I miss you.

I didn't hope to see you.

Well, that's certainly something.

Classic Grobo.

I gotta say, this feels like a perfect capper to this crazy few months in this galaxy.

Yeah.

I think I'm ready to go home.

Yeah.

Does anyone else...

Is it just really dry on that planet?

Or

C-53, are you alright?

Yeah, we're just so much.

Yeah, my eye is just really bugging me.

If you keep rubbing it like that, it's not going to fix it.

Yeah, but it's just like...

Oh, my rod.

C-53, your eye is...

Is it red?

Is it...

Yeah,

you can see it.

It's red, but it's also green and purple.

Oh, no.

Guys, guys.

I'd recognize that enormous, disgusting eye anywhere.

C-53, did you get oviposited down there?

You know, I got poked in the eye by a keck, but I'm not organic.

They can't assimilate.

Oh, no.

But C-53, you have an organic body.

What's gonna happen?

Squash.

Ow.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's a rookie mistake.

We would always laugh about the idiots who got over posited.

This is not the time.

You know what?

Maybe it'll just stop growing, and then C-53 will have great vision for the next few months.

Yeah.

And it'll turn out to be some.

Oh, no, it's even bigger now.

I see.

Why don't you go into the closet where I keep all my moist cloths?

Yeah, Bargie.

I gotta say, I don't think you're looking at C53 right now.

I think he may be a little past a moist cloth.

Okay, guys, we need to do something.

C-53, where's your cube?

We'll take it out, we'll shoot the Jeremy body into space, and we're all good.

Pleck, I have no idea what Dr.

Tramaticor did.

My cube is suspended in wet meat.

Alright, if you tried to pull out the cube, I mean, you risk

shorting out my entire data matrix.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Let's do it.

No, AJ, stop, stop, stop.

No, uh, okay, Bargy, fly faster.

We have to get back to this synergy.

Maybe we can talk to you.

But you don't want the moist cross.

No, I don't think.

I mean, we can try it, I guess.

Yeah, his head's sort of like pulsing.

Oh, his plaid pants are undulating.

Oh,

wow, is that part of it?

I don't know.

It's all very new to me.

Stay with us, C53.

Stay with us.

We're almost back to the synergy, okay?

We're here with you.

And no matter what happens, you're going to be okay.

Okay.

I'm trying to hang on.

Fleck, it's just gotta go.

Oh, Nerva, you've done it now.

I gotta do it.

What does that mean?

Oh, it's moist cloths are just flying out of our woods.

Oh, my head is going apart.

Jeremy, broken half today.

Oh my rod, it's a weaver.

Alright, we're gonna take him out.

This is a mercy killing.

It's turned into a mercy killing situation.

I killed him once, I'll do it again.

Make it quick, Dar.

Dar.

He was my friend.

Oh, sweet.

No,

I don't wanna watch.

Oh, come here, my sweet friend.

They seem to be relishing it a little bit.

I don't wanna be Into Dar's bosom.

No, wait.

No.

Wait, it's still me.

It's still C53.

What?

What?

Wait, wait, stop.

C53?

Yes, yes, it's me.

The assimilation stopped when it hit the cube.

I don't know.

Maybe they assumed this was an organic body and my cube was some sort of prosthesis.

Oh my rod,

you're okay?

I mean, I think so.

How do do I look?

Awful.

I feel like I should still pop your head like a champagne bottle.

AJ, no, start.

What?

What?

It's not a...

This isn't a vote?

C-53, what a tragic fate it must be to have your cube entombed in a disgusting bug creature.

To be perfectly honest, this is a lot more my speed.

Wow, look at him.

Whoa, look at him, skitter.

Skidder.

You like this body better than Jeremy?

I mean, it's not worse.

What?

At least the tuping knees work, you know?

Look how dexterous these pincers are.

Look at this.

Yeah.

Look how fast I can tight.

Wow.

They weren't close to this kind of speed with Jeremy.

Yeah, I mean, I guess maybe there's just like less meat for all those synapses to go through.

It seems really great.

It seems really great.

Hey, should we still kill him?

What are we?

What's the

dark?

No, we can't.

We can't kill him.

Of course, no, no, it's not what we are.

We're not gonna.

No, no.

We have to ask him one important question:

Do you have space honey, or do you make it, or what?

And then we shall scream, a primal scream.

The listeners shall hear the blood in our throats as we wail our angst to every corner of the galaxy.

Girk, you are a musical genius.

Thank you.

Ruthless and uncompromising.

True, true.

But everyone knows that I, Korzak, am the sensitive lyrical one.

The Suxtapus dynamic is what makes Tatcha sound so enduring and listenable.

Thus, I think we should end this song with Flowers or Nice.

Korzak, you fool!

It is a song unsuffering!

But, Gerk, what if at the end we were like, Flowers are nice?

It

fine.

Another Tatch classic.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Krozak, listen to me.

We are recording our second album.

After the unmitigated success and universal acclaim of Eyeball Rupture, the critics will undoubtedly be waiting to bounce on any sign of a sophomore slop.

How will we meet the high expectations of angry teens throughout the galaxy if we do not step it up an arch?

I am so glad you asked, Girk, for I have the key to excellent sound.

A flawless conduit for our infernal shrieking to ensure that our bloodlust and love of flowers is captured with pristine clarity.

Give it to me or die!

Oh, tough choice, but I shall give it to you.

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Only two things matter to me: anger and sensible audio investments.

Ah, yes, everyone knows that space is waste, but do you know what is an even bigger waste?

A great take ruined by bad equipment.

Exactly.

A perfect song undermined by faulty or worn-out cabling?

Yes.

A mighty screamage in the night, rendered muddy by hisses, static, or lying noises.

Yes, Kirk.

Yes, yes.

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I love you.

Hey, look, they finished the device.

I can't believe it, it's done.

Good job, everybody.

Horsette, you really took us over the finish line on this one.

I found it, I found it.

I just can't believe it because, well, honestly,

good stuff doesn't really ever happen to us.

So

it feels suspiciously out of character.

Yeah.

The synergy is, I would say, maybe 70% destroyed, so.

Oh, sure.

I wouldn't say this is a net gain.

Well, they got the civilians off on the warp drive section.

That's true.

Yeah.

Hi, Day.

Oh, hey, hey, Sisu.

Hey.

Sisu, hi.

Hey, what's up?

How's everybody doing?

How are you doing?

Sisu, don't be alarmed.

I know my appearance is perhaps somewhat unsettling.

So don't worry, everybody.

This is C53.

Hello.

A friendly keck?

Now I've seen everything.

Well, I don't want any of you to be alarmed because, yes, as you can see, Rolfus is pregnant.

I'm pregnant, everyone.

Wait, wait, how is that possible?

I was impregnated by an alien ball of energy.

What?

It's good.

I feel good about it.

I keep it.

And Rolfus always wanted a shower.

What could go wrong, alien ball of energy?

Oh, that's cool.

I could totally have a baby if I wanted to, too.

It's totally cool.

I definitely have genitals and can definitely use them.

almost no way that's possible for you.

I'm sorry.

It's totally fine.

I'm not bothered by it.

Congratulations, Rolfus.

Wow.

What a special time for you.

Yeah, that's why we...

I mean, Cisu, do you want to say it or should I?

I think we can say it together.

We're.

We're not.

Not.

Going.

Going?

Going back.

We're just in sync.

We're just in sync.

Well, you're not going back where?

to

zix with you.

With you.

Sorry.

You're not coming back with us?

The time here has really given me and Rolfus and everyone who's currently standing behind me time to reflect and realize that this is a far better galaxy.

People are kinder, but in a meaner way.

Also, yes, I am running for local office.

There wasn't one before, but I created one, and guess what, everybody?

I I projected to win.

I'm also the only one running.

But what can I say?

I'm having a great time.

And ultimately, at the end of the day, no matter what universe we're in, Rolfus and I and the new baby, baby, are family.

Wow.

Also, our son.

I'm here too.

The baby's gonna get so much attention.

Well, surely, surely, Hark, you're coming with us.

To be perfectly honest, I feel like I've crashed a fighter on nearly every Rosh darn planet in the Zig Squadron, so it's time for Old Hark to seek out some new planets to touch down on.

Wow.

Plus, like two-thirds of the crew of the Synergy went down to the Kekatak, so they they just need flyboys out here maybe a little more than they do in the Zig Squadron.

I guess so.

Okay, sounds like it's just uh Zalcatron.

What?

I'm living that loath life.

That's a few of them.

Oh, you're still.

Yeah, I wouldn't want Zelcatron to give that up.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Fare thee well.

C-53, is everything okay?

I'm just taking one last look at my co-workers.

I can't look at you.

You're disgusting.

Jeremiah, please.

Jeremiah.

Look away.

Look away, you weird bug.

You're a motorized sausage.

Words hurt, Jeremiah.

Point those peavers elsewhere!

Well,

C-Sue,

I guess this is goodbye.

Um,

I just want you to know that there.

Yes, that.

Oh!

Oh, the baby's kicking!

It is already kicking?

How long has Rolfus been pregnant?

Oh, everyone, put your hand on Rolfus' tummy right now, every single one of you.

AJU first.

At the same time, get the truck out of here.

Let's go.

Let's do it.

Wheels up.

Let's get out of here.

Let's go.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

In that case,

Cisu, would you mind firing up the reaction?

Do you do a kiss on the lips?

Sure.

What?

Oh.

Wow.

Wow, we.

Unexpected.

Let's go, Barty.

Look along.

Okay, crew, Bargie.

I'm going to fire up the device.

Thank you, Jushan.

Good luck.

This is it, guys.

That ring is fired up.

Yeah, it's like a vertical pool of water.

Well, Bargie,

take us through.

What am I doing?

We're going further.

We're going back into Viking Squadron.

Into the vertical water.

Here we go.

Wow!

We did it, guys.

We're here.

Awesome.

I feel intact.

My body feels okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, it should feel okay.

We're in the exact same spot we were before we left.

What?

Well, if we're in the exact same spot, how can you explain this?

We're still in the hangar bay.

No, we are.

No, look.

Where's the hanger bay of the synergy in zigzags?

No, there's no synergy in zigzags AJ.

AJ, think about what you just said.

Okay, Bargie, can you actually back?

Can we go back through?

Back it out.

Back it out.

Guys, I'm going to cop out with the instruction manual and just double check the connections and stuff.

Okay.

So, all right.

Everything's connected here.

And

okay, did this happen?

Yeah, we're probably fine.

You know, it's probably that we didn't put the thing that mounts against the wall up.

No, I don't think, I think that's just for safety, AJ.

I don't think that's.

Oh, yeah, so you don't want to say that.

Can we try turning it off and then back on again?

A great point.

I'm just throwing that out there.

Guys, I don't know.

It looks like it's perfectly built.

I got all the way to the back page here where there's this.

Uh.

Why is there a second little cartoon guy with a hammer?

Yeah, he has his thumb up, though.

Yeah, but there's another guy with his thumb up and a hammer and a second gate.

Why is there two of the same picture on this last page?

There's the guy.

So we need to travel from one to the other.

We can't do it with just one of these.

We have to.

There has to be another one at the place we're going?

Yes, Pleck.

This is what this friendly pictograph is telling us.

But God, what a waste.

But how would we ever do that?

The whole point is for us to build this so we can.

But what you're saying is we need to fly through it twice.

No, no.

No.

AJ, there needs to be one in the Zig Squadron for us to fly to.

Well, then, all we have to do, I guess, is go to the Zig Squadron and build the other one.

Yes, exactly.

You're absolutely right, AJ.

We just gotta get to the Zig Squadron, and then there will be no problem.

Well, why don't we just Bargy to the Zig Squadron?

Which way is that?

Bargy, no, we don't know.

Okay, we were so close.

I thought we had it.

I think we weren't close.

So, let me get this straight.

We took resources from the ship to build this giant thing that brings the keck out of hiding after decades of hibernation.

They invade the ship and killed a lot of people on board.

And all of that was.

Now, just let me know if I'm getting this right.

For nothing.

Just for nothing.

I mean, that's right.

I don't know you have to say it.

Okay, just wanted to make sure.

This is all for nothing, everyone.

This one hurts.

Also, I just learned that my show was canceled.

What?

The theater for the kids.

The play, guys.

The play.

Is it because the theater was assimilated by the keck?

Yes.

Also, critics called it unwatchable.

So.

Oh, man.

Sometimes I wish that I had like a telepathic link to the clone, so I'd just be like, do this, you know?

You could just say, build another gate.

And they'd do it.

It's like, what if I was like psychically connected to them?

Yeah, what if you had a intergalactic communications network connected

to a group of workers

that you could tell to build something.

Yeah, why are you saying it so slow?

Okay, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Just give just give me a couple minutes here.

Wow.

Oh, the beams.

C-53, what are you doing?

I really gotta glop it out here.

Oh, okay, wow.

Ooh, ah, that's big.

Mr.

Pokemon, what is happening?

Okay, the Keck have a network to communicate.

But

C-53, they only listen to the grower mind.

That's because there's not another intelligence present in the network of the Keck.

Now I'm in there, baby.

Oh boy.

Darn, are we killing C53?

No, stop, AJ.

No, stop.

We're all.

Just what is what is he saying?

Explain that again, C53.

So we met the brain, right?

We met the actual grower mind.

There's no other minds in the Keck network except for me.

Now I'm tapped in.

Do you understand?

You could

relay the instructions to make the device in the Ziggs quadrant.

That's right.

I'm reaching out.

I can see through these other kecks' eyes.

They're in the zigzag quadrant.

Oh my god.

Oh, and they are very excited to receive instructions to build something.

They don't know the difference between an instruction from me and an instruction from the grower mind.

Here.

Listen, my children, the Grover Mind commands you to build this structure for the glory of this war.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty solid, C5.

Real scary when you said that.

Wait, did we date once?

No, I don't think I don't.

This is C53, Bargie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sounded like someone you used to date.

We literally just came from the planet with the brain.

We know that person, Bargie.

Yeah, Bargie.

I don't know who.

Bargie, are you depressed?

What's Korda?

I don't know.

I like had a thriving career here,

and then I meet my son, and now I'm having both things taken away from me

for some like greater mission that I don't even really understand, to be perfectly honest.

Yeah.

What?

Would you guys knock it off?

What?

Stop.

Alright.

C-53, this is amazing.

You're You're commanding legions of bugs to do whatever you want.

You know, as soon as they figured out the instructions and everything, we'll...

I mean, they're telling me it's done.

What?

Perfectly executed maneuver.

Actually, yeah, let me tell you.

Another perfectly executed maneuver by the swarm.

Wow.

I like when you do that, but it also is terrifying.

Tell anyone about this.

Don't and don't build another one.

Good call.

That's a good call.

Goodbye.

Yeah, I got out of it a little bit.

Yeah, sorry.

So

I gotta say, I think it's pretty.

It was good that that cool bro Grobo oh posited you.

You guys are giving me Grobo.

I don't know if that makes me like Grobo.

But like, how you know, he's kind of getting us home.

It's all working now.

We can, it's

I mean, I guess so.

Yeah, see, this portal looks a lot more legit, like there's something on the other side of the water.

Oh, yeah, this one looks freaky.

Okay, all right, guys, I guess

give it another shot.

Bye-bye.

Revlactorium.

Bye-bye.

Galaxy of Grobo.

I do feel a little bit guilty that we essentially destroyed this ship and now we're bailing on the entire galaxy, but I think they might be glad to see us go.

That's a good point.

That's a good point.

Okay, we gotta go through.

Alright, Bargie, take us through.

Bargie, do you know where we are?

Can we make it?

Did we make it?

Do people know where she is?

Look at the windows.

Oh!

So many wows outdadis.

Whoa.

That is objectively a lot of cap.

Gnarly.

Oh, look at the device they built.

It's like dripping.

Oh, it looks just like our device, except it's made of, like, goo.

And like, bug bodies.

Yeah, we'll back in zigzags.

Ugh.

This is just like our shiny cool device, except shittier and zixier.

Yeah.

Oh.

Nope, it just collapsed.

I guess it's pretty good that we went through when we did, cuz I think we might have gotten chopped in half if we waited any longer

Excellent work my children now disperse and don't tell me the grow mine about any of this

We're home.

We're home.

Yeah,

we did it

all right

Yeah

Well, I feel like I gotta go call my parents.

Hey, it's just us just hanging out back in zigs.

It feels good.

Does feel good.

Yeah, guys.

I'm so excited that, like, the OGs are back together again.

Justin.

Hey, Justin.

What?

Oh, that's your name, Justin.

What?

My children, seize this survivor and assimilate.

I know what you're looking for.

It's the technology that I have developed.

The technology we've been searching for is in this room.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

It is right inside of this laboratory.

You should come and get it.

Every cat aboard the ship, set a strategic path following the pheromones to the laboratory.

Oh, yes!

Yes, everyone, come inside, please.

Are you all in?

All the cats on the ship are in the laboratory.

Okay, great.

Computer, run the program name Enormous Steel Top Port for squishing.

Are you sure this will terminate program of design?

Affirmative.

No!

It was a ruse!

Our orchards and juices!

This is Sea Red IT 5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing Outro Protocol.

Pleck Deck Setter was played by Alden Ford.

Lead Envoy C53, Captain Sorak, Hark, Tardagast, and Zalcatron 5000 were played by Jeremy Benn.

Dar and Jeremiah Frankenfer were played by Ali Kakesh.

Bargie the Ship, Susu Gundu, Justin Balwee, Christine, and Tatch, Cofander Gerk, were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Neruk Bundoy and Tatch co-founder Krozak were played by Seth Lynn.

DJ, Centerion Tittle, and the Keck Swarm were played by Winston Null.

The Grow Remind of the Keck and Grobo were played by special guest John Robert Wilson.

John Robert performs with Thank You Robot at Caveat and NYC and at the Chaos Bloom Theater in Denver.

Follow him on Twitter at John Robert Wilso or at JR underscore Plays Games.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn and Alden Ford with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor.

Additional music by Shane O'Connell.

Opening chron oration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design with RJerian Jade by Eric Goist.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission Desix is a proud member of the Maximum Fund Network.

Since the dawn of time, screenwriters have taken months to craft their stories.

But now, three Hollywood professionals shall attempt the impossible.

Break a story in one hour.

That's That's right.

Here on Storybreak, I, Freddie Wong, Matt Arnold, and Will Campos, the creators behind award-winning shows like Video Game High School, have one hour to turn a humble idea into an awesome movie.

Now, an awesome movie starts with an awesome title.

I chose The Billionaire's Marriage Valley, my most Christmas pregnant paradise.

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In order to get to heaven, sometimes you got to raise a little hell.

Oh, that's That's the tidal life.

Check out Storybreak every week on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Artist owned, audience supported.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, the body's like split in half.

My head is going apart.

Oh, God.

Jeremy broken half today.

Seth, you were going to go to prison for that one.

They're not going to let you go.

It's going to be bad.

Oh,

no.

I love it.

I love it.

Oh, I love it.