418: Plastic? Oh No, Banned [ft. Nathan Min]

It is a time of chaos.

Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course the colossal all wheat.

Which looks like if all the bullies exploded

now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff

this

is mission to zinc

Ambassador Dexter,

give me one good reason why my honor guard should not obliterate you in this moment.

Oh, you know what?

I got this.

Dar,

please present him with our Federated Alliance gifts.

You think this is our one good reason?

I mean, it's pretty.

Master Dexter, I think.

This, my friend, is an official Federated Alliance koozie.

What is this?

It keeps a hot beverage hot.

It keeps a cold beverage cold.

When would I use this for a hot beverage?

This is a hot, humid planet.

When would I ever use this?

I guess.

Well, it's great for cold beverages.

Guard open fire.

Okay, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Getting back up.

Bad dream.

Another bad dream, horse hat.

No, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't worry about it.

You know what?

I'm just gonna

step out and get a little fresh air, okay?

Hey, hey, Dar.

No, I mm-mm.

Uh-uh.

Okay, yeah.

No, I get it.

Yeah, you're not ready.

Dar's grappling with some pretty heavy metaphysical issues right now, so.

It's just, you know, when I thought that I shot them and it was fine, I felt bad.

But now that I know that I shot them and they died, I mean, that's...

And when I think about it, like, if that Dar died, then who is this Dar?

How is that possible?

You're gonna make

I don't think Dar is ready for that conversation.

Sure, okay.

Never be ready.

Yeah.

Let it just be inside of you.

Let it get bigger and bigger.

Let it define who you are.

Let it motivate you for the rest of your life.

Let it make you turn away from those who loved you in order to focus on one

singular past experience that connected you for the rest of your life.

this mate.

No,

certainly there's a middle ground.

Oh, Bargie.

Hey, everybody.

Hey!

It's AJ.

Hey, AJ.

Uh, nothing.

We're just

Bargie's going super slow right now, and everybody's kind of standing in different parts of the

hole, just kind of like not looking at each other.

You know, sometimes it's important for us to each look out our own window and just consider.

I thought I heard Bargie said turn to to darkness at one point.

I don't think that's right.

Look towards the light.

Oh, okay, that sounds good.

We're all doing that thing right now, AJ, where we're the lead in our own hollow.

So, you know, just

staring out the port windows.

But also, we are on a Hollowwood set right now, am I right?

Right.

Wait, we are.

Wait, what?

Bargie?

We're on a set right now?

Yeah, it's the first thing filming for sure.

Five, I thought we discussed this.

They come to me for punch-ups.

Usually I've just been say no.

Oh, this planet we're orbiting is where they're filming?

Yeah.

Oh, well, I thought it was animated.

They're making a live-action sequel to the four previous TV films.

Four Shirk films were computer animation.

So it's a real donkey?

It's a real donkey.

Oh, that's awesome.

Do you have you like hung out with like what's donkey like?

Is it he's such a sweetheart.

I'll set you guys up later.

Oh, great.

Hey, well, I have to get back to my job.

This is such an awesome day.

What a great day, guys.

Okay.

AJ, out of curiosity,

you can only mind wipe yourself.

You can't mind wipe your loved ones, correct?

Yeah.

I mean, I could, like.

No, I don't think I could.

AJ, bring us through for a second.

Did you mind wipe?

What do you do in your life?

Well, I stand straight and tall.

Good posture is always important when it comes to mind wipes.

I stare straight ahead, and then I

and then you what?

Yeah, what are the other steps?

To what?

Never mind.

Oh, he mind wiped me.

No, it happened already.

Yeah, we missed it.

How's everything going?

Is this a good day?

Or what can we do?

Yeah, it's pretty good.

Pretty good.

Yep.

Captain,

I have an incoming transmission from temporary emergency emissarial negotiations missions operations manager

bundle

hello

today is a day unlike any other what whoa what really see normally gets it always on the same wavelength as dar totally what are we talking about

when I call I tend to call with a

personal problem no

Onxious digression?

Absolutely not.

I call it.

Neurosis.

Come on.

Give me a break.

Notes on Shark 5 that I will never take.

Bargy, some of those are good notes.

I don't know.

Consider them.

No, I call you.

What do I offer you?

Seggy Boy shirt.

Come on.

This is a new one that's not a bad thing.

Seggy Boy Dance.

Okay, fine.

See how he's sniveling while he does it?

He's sniveling.

There is a kind of an annoying song that you call with it, too, right?

Oh, yeah, sometimes

eventually.

But today,

that's not happening.

You know why?

Because you never really knew yourself.

Everything you knew to be true was a lie.

No.

It's because I assign missions when there are problems to solve, and right now there are none to solve.

So you just called the snivel

payje all right we'll hear the song nermit just play it already i'm gonna put it on in the background nice and light it's a soft listening adult contemporary kind of instrumental anyway i assign missions because there are problems to solve and there are no problems to solve because sisu gunu is up in the polls everyone is keeping it tight it's so tight it's kept all i'm calling to say is there's no mission today the election is three days away and

you can't think that way it could all go away in the blink of an eye i mean you have to hold on to what you have, and you have to hold on to it.

What a celebration!

Sisu is up in 90% of planetary polls.

Her running mate, Jan.

I'm sure you heard the news.

It's quite a combo.

Good for Jan.

Yeah.

Are you sure Jan has time to be Sisu's running mate?

She said that she owed it to her children to see that the galaxy was well taken care of and that she could slip it in between nap and snack.

Oh, that's nice.

So this is just looking rosy.

We have a problem.

Oh, oh no.

I don't want you to freak out because you are.

I would never tend to freak out a little bit, but Ted Ronka

has created a

some sort of a machine

to get rid of the all-weed.

What?

He's been building it in secret.

And now it's already in place around the jucking all wheat.

Look at this.

And once we power this baby up, all of our troubles with the all-weed are finito.

Can we rewind it?

Can we start for the

makeshift?

That was it.

No, that was all he said.

Wait, so it's some sort of cage that goes around the all wheat and neutralizes it?

That's incredible.

That's actually great news.

Nermit, it's terrible news.

Oh, just because he has some sort of a fancy gadget doesn't make him qualified to become galactic leader.

That's a good thing.

Oh, goodness.

Yes, that is so true.

Class exists.

Target turn surprise.

Yeah.

Chuck.

And you know what happens if he wins?

You lose.

Exactly.

And you know what happens if I lose?

What?

You're available?

Well, I don't even want to think about it.

Nermit, here's the plan.

Zip up.

Your crew must delay Raka's activation of this device as soon as possible.

Today.

Now, yes, I am very much aware that the All Wheat, which is the prime existential threat of the galaxy, needs to be destroyed.

I am pro that.

I've written papers on that.

But

it also means that a fake nice trillionaire in loose pants will then ruin the galaxy if it becomes its leader your job's to get him to hit pause yes i'm sending you those instructions now nermin i put my complete trust in you that trust is not you have taken dale's cookie recipe and you have brought it to the next level and not many people can do that

wait you perfected the recipe and you didn't share it with us I just the last time you sent it to us, it was liquid.

They get eaten before I can send them.

They're just

also we found the person who we accused of being Dale's murderer was not actually guilty.

So we're zoning in on the real killer.

Great.

Great Dale news.

We still love him very much.

Good.

Nervous, send your team.

Sure.

Great.

Remember, too, everyone at the same time.

Keep

in time.

Crew, we got a mission.

Great.

And we have another song.

I don't know if it's time for a song right now.

All right, Clinch, you're the boss, secure the perimeter.

Let's go.

You got it.

Hello, you've reached Sisu Gundu, future galactic leader.

I'm incredibly important and very busy, but I'm listening.

Please leave a message after the beat.

If this is Diana, my dermatologist, you know the direct line.

Okay, bye-bye.

Sisu.

Sisu, it's me.

It's Rolfus.

Sisu, please pick up.

I only have a few minutes before they secure the perimeter and come back.

Pick up.

Come on, please.

I don't blame you.

I don't blame you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

I know you probably think I'm dead, but I survived, Sisu.

During the Battle of the Planet Crushers, right after we got separated, dozens of Clints infiltrated and swarmed the rebel outpost.

I followed them through the building, picking them off one by one, crawling through air ducts, throwing them down staircases, walking barefoot over broken glass, you know.

But I knew it was hopeless.

I was woefully outnumbered.

Until finally it hit me.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Despite looking, acting, and thinking nothing like them, maybe I could convince them I was one of them.

I stole the armor off of one I dispatched in an elevator and joined the others seamlessly.

The fools and their punchable faces didn't suspect a thing.

I've been living among them, getting in their heads, slowly sabotaging their operations, making sure that no matter what, they steered clear of the Zig Squadron.

To protect you, Sisu.

To protect you and Centurion.

Now, I know you're asking yourself, how is it possible that I'm calling you now after all this time?

The answer, Sisu, is Mint Mobile, which gives me the premium service of a big wireless provider at a fraction of the cost.

In fact, I cut my wireless bill down to just 15 croon a month by switching to Mint Mobile.

You know I hate paying a wireless bill to a big wireless provider.

I'm not some sort of bootlicker like GK3199.

I'm a rebel, rod damn it, and I want a provider that gives me unlimited nationwide talk and text, plus crazy fast 4G LTE, and lets me keep my same phone number and all my contacts.

And if I'm not satisfied, Mint Mobile has me covered with their seven-day money-back guarantee.

Listen, I know I was stupid and selfish.

I know I was a bad father and a worse husband.

I let you down, and I let the rebellion down.

But I promise you this:

you can get your own new wireless plan for 15 croon a month and ship to your door for free at mintmobile.com slash zix.

Listen to me.

It's like you always used to say, Rolfus, you sound like a jucking commercial.

But it feels good, Sisu.

It feels so good to talk to you again.

Cut your wireless bill to fifteen crew to month at mittmobile.com/slash six.

Laughing and crying.

Oh my rod, look at that thing.

It's a lattice that wraps all the way around the allweed.

Look, have you heard anything from the allweed lately?

No, I actually haven't.

It's been silent.

Whoa, Papa, this thing could destroy the allweed.

I mean, it could.

I don't.

What do you think you'll mope about?

After he's gone.

stop

stop cartwheeling.

You burn.

Okay, C53, what's the plan?

Well,

because the plan is this.

It's been so much a long time printing up.

It's very cumbersome.

That's a pretty thick binder.

Yeah, it's very

thick.

I'm still just getting through that.

Got it.

Let's do this.

Yeah, you just, like, you'll come up behind him and be like, what?

Come up behind Ted Bronca and kill him?

Yeah, I mean, it's perfect.

Like, if you hit him with a binder, it's gonna look like something else happened.

Like, you know, fell down on top of a binder and came over and over again.

Cisu is giving away

a plan.

Are these just all of Sisu's policies?

Yes,

it involves a delicate series.

Ted Bronca and have to lay out girls and four men.

Come to some sort of political treatment.

Maintain some time for me to parse and then implement this plan.

Um so here's here's where Margie I think signed to drop you off.

Hey,

this looks like the basic operations here.

I think we'll be just fine.

Can you sign the clipboard?

I I have to be able to report back to the second assistant director.

Thanks for the ride, by the way.

Anyone is really out of your way.

I mean, it's an honor as a PA to get to be able to drive such heavy-hitting levels.

I'm not involved in

the production at all.

We were just in Bargie when she reported to set.

Cool.

Hey, hey, what's your name again?

Milphus Tem.

Milphus.

Yeah.

Hey, what's a

donkey like?

Oh, Donkey?

He's

like an ass.

Is he cool?

No, he's missing the play.

If he's not cool, what kind of ass are you talking about?

He's like four legs.

Thank you, Milphus.

Thank you, Milphus.

Good luck with your career.

Look at all these sentients packed outside of the factory.

Are these all Ronka supporters?

Do any of them realize how precarious it all is?

Dar, if you hadn't met Adelaide Wiggles, you'd still be dead on Flirp.

Your bones would be decomposing on the planet's surface right now.

I'm just saying it's all part of a bigger story.

Dari, you're alive because of the adventures we've all gone on together.

Okay,

if I had never, in fact, joined up.

Hey there!

Y'all want Ted Rocket too?

Oh, wow.

Look at those zyball caps.

Wow.

Mom says Ted or Dead.

Get it?

I guess so.

If he becomes the leader of the universe, he's

Is that one of his platform positions?

No, but we're hoping you'll have it.

I'd like to ask you a question.

Do you really think if Ted Ranka doesn't win, you'd rather be dead?

No, that's dumb.

He rhymes.

When you say Ted or Dead, do you mean you would die from disappointment or you'd kill yourself or you think that the leader would lead the galaxy to ruin?

Oh, geez, we're asking a lot of questions we didn't ask ourselves when you made the hat.

Okay.

Here's a hat for yourself.

I'm not gonna wear this.

Thank you.

Yeah.

AJ.

Put on my helmet.

No.

I can't believe that even fits.

Huh?

Are these people here for Ronka too?

Because they seem way angrier than the other guys.

Yeah, I think these guys are protesters, not supporters.

Perhaps so.

You know, like we do, they prefer a different kingdom.

If Ted Ronka, the actor makes the all week, how will it eat me?

Okay, so what we have here: death cults.

on the owner

that actually says Ted for dead.

See,

they seem to want everyone

including Ted.

Ugh, alright.

Well, who am I to argue?

I've been marching in my own death for years now.

Plus, how are we supposed to delete Ted Rock without access to his factory?

Give me the binder.

We're gonna clear the path.

binder, Delta?

You gotta clear a path with the binder, AJ?

Yeah, just swing it around.

I need to throw it away.

It needs to be destroyed.

No, no, it's mine.

It needs to be destroyed.

Oh, see, now you can see you.

You see this guy here?

I don't think you can kill you in the death cults.

You're powerful.

Just get rid of plastic.

My armor is not totally plastic.

You can, like, lay off of me.

Do you ever hear of the mines of Nardar?

Oh, sure, mines.

The plastic mines of Nardar.

I've toiled there for hundreds of years.

Whoa.

Only last week did I see Starlight for the first time when I managed to escape.

So, why do you not like plastic?

You know, like, AJ, that's kind of obvious.

He was around it all the time.

You'd think he'd like it.

It's all I smelled, it's all I ate.

It's all

I bathed in.

It's all we had in the mines.

So

I had to adapt my gut organisms to digest plastics.

Sounds like that.

Otherwise, I would die.

Sounds like you liked it because it was your food.

Do you know what I mean?

Okay, AJ, why would that be true?

I don't know.

If I'm eating something, I'm like, I like it.

That's not what preferences are.

Oh, okay.

Hey, my name's AJ.

What's yours?

My name is Calipar.

Okay.

Calipar, hey, listen, I'm so sorry.

You were in a mine for how long did you say?

Hundreds and hundreds of years.

There's no way of knowing.

So why did you just leave?

You know what I mean?

AJ?

What?

What?

Are you familiar with forced labor?

I mean,

I was in chains.

Plastic chains.

Plastic chains.

I had to eat my way out, then

run away.

How long did you know how to eat plastic, though?

Wouldn't you just like eat the chains like pretty early on?

AJ, I think you need to leave this guy alone.

He's been through a lot.

Clearly, this gentleman went through quite an ordeal.

Listen, Calipar,

I'm sorry.

What problem do you have with Ted Ronka that you're

Ted Ronka, the owner of Joyful Toys Incorporated?

They make action figures of the geriatric Gal Pals.

You ever hear that?

I love the term ad.

I mean, I've seen ads for them in day teen, I guess.

But we're old, but we're also kicking butt.

I mean, I guess, AJ, you're six.

You're sort of in the demographic.

Yeah, I love them.

Gotta catch them all.

I heard that song every time I pressed on their bellies.

Those toys would go off and sing that song, and it drove me mad.

Wait, you mined the plastic and you also made the action figures?

They were pre-made.

You mined the fully formed action figures?

That's right.

I guess I don't understand what plastic mining is like.

Can you explain how the process works?

Nardar is a former garbage dump.

They went extinct, these Nardyarians,

because they created a consumer culture where all they made was action figures to be collected.

And, you know, with erosion, the dirt covered the plastic piles, and it's our job to dig them out.

Okay.

Right, and I guess Joyful Toy Company is more of a repurposing corporation.

They use existing sort of an upcycling of older and find action figures.

That sounds amazing.

Don't you think, Captain Dar?

Just digging around, picking out action figures and finding them?

Wait, where is Dar?

So, like, is it like a shovel in a pail situation, or are you just using your hands?

Like, sounds like you were having some fun for hundreds of years, in my opinion.

I don't think you get who I am as a person.

Huh, maybe.

I, Calipar, I think that's an absolutely fair assessment.

So,

wait, you were dead, and now you're not dead?

Yeah, that's that's exactly what happened.

That's awesome.

Awesome.

They were dead and they're not dead anymore.

We found one.

We found one.

What was it like?

Explain the moment of your death to us.

Is it weird that you and all your friends look exactly alike?

No,

it's very normal.

We go to the same spa.

And when we sacrifice ourselves to the all weed, we shall look identical in death as well.

But you pay us the honor of holding our sign which says Ronka for death.

Not to be confused with Ted Ford.

That is a competing death cult.

Also, not to be confused with Ted or Dead, the

Ronka, yes, and not to be confused with Shirk4 Dead, which is about the movie Shirk 4 and how it's connected to death in different ways.

If you watch it in black and white and in reverse, and you play the unreleased Beetleman record,

there are certain moments in Shirk 4

that you will see that are definitely red.

Share your words of wisdom.

Even the Nonadas are listening.

With our ears covered.

Um,

well,

wonderful.

I

am still processing how I feel about this.

Surely you have a recollection of the moment when your life left your body.

In fact, I feel like I watched it all

from underneath the willows.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Anointed one.

The willows you watched from.

Was that some sort of other dimension that you might attain through worship of the limital space between life and death?

We were

in the zix quadrant.

That's where we are now.

It's all part of Mail Makes Sense.

It's all happening.

Calibar, with these mines, did you like put in an application or did you know somebody there or like how'd you get the job?

I was born into it.

Well, it must be nice in the depths of the mines.

Must be nice.

It's all I ever knew.

So you're good at it.

You know, doing a particular job.

Necessarily likes doing their job.

Okay, well, do you like doing your job?

Yeah.

Sure.

I like doing my job.

Okay, but my wife is a calper.

Did you enjoy mining for a few years?

I did not.

Okay, see, get

sort of what I'm trying to do.

You got out of the mines?

Surely.

You must have had some sort of positive experience out in the

galaxy.

Yeah, wasn't it good to get out of the mines?

I don't know, eat real food again?

Food that's not plastic, you know?

I tried eating other foods and they just rocketed back out.

Front or back?

Both ends.

It matters.

It's not bad at all.

It's okay.

This I'm okay talking about.

Rocketed out of both ends.

Well, ironically, you adapted your own digestive system to eat plastic in the first place.

That's right.

You know, Calipar, maybe if you just put your mind to it, you can kind of unadapt, you know?

I don't think so.

I mean, there are things I regret about adapting my body to certain situations.

One of them being

having less teeth, but bigger teeth.

What I got those four teeth?

Yes.

They're enormous.

They're the size of my hand.

They used to be the size of fingertips, and I used to have forty of them.

Yes,

in width.

So, Calper, you adapted to rapidly evolve as a defense against harmful surroundings.

That's correct.

I cannot smell flowers.

How How would that ever have harmed you?

I was allergic to

all flowers?

All flowers.

Anything with pollen.

You can't smell them, but certainly the allergy is still there, right?

No, I've purged all the olfactory receptors.

Whoa.

So you can't smell them at all.

Yes, but that includes flowers.

You

know,

everything else.

Everything else

for allergy.

Well, can't go back now.

My

DNA only goes in one direction when it adapts.

Well, I mean, if nothing else, it's got to be a relief to be free of the mines, right?

Once I left the planet, I found that most equipment was made out of plastic.

It used a lot of plastic.

Common material, yeah,

so I had to make it my mission to rid plastic wherever I went, so this can never happen to anyone else.

There's a certain emotional logic and

nobility to that quest.

As soon as all the plastic in the universe is destroyed, I will be able to move on with my life.

That's a tall order for a lot.

Yeah.

In the universe, that's a lot of fun.

Yes, AJ, but objectively, all the plastic in the universe is

Calipar.

I feel like you and I, since we vibed a little bit, I have a suggestion for you.

AJ, faulty premise.

What if you ate it?

Every last piece of plastic in the universe.

Calper, we have to have a bunch of people.

Yeah,

listen.

What was that?

Did I hear the wind just now?

Oh!

What if you ate it?

AJ.

I don't...

He looks mad.

I don't hear anything right now.

He looks mad at me.

Oh, wait.

Calipar, have you adapted to tuning out every word that AJ says to you?

It appears that I have.

My body is highly adaptable.

Hey, is that

Dar over there standing on top of that bus?

And then, of course, I knew

I

was

dead.

Speak right into this, please.

Okay, thank you.

Um

and then

you've united all of our differences.

It's loud.

Continue.

Oh, okay, sure.

Sorry.

I want to do respectful of all of you chanting and praising me, but we can kind of go, you know, back and forth on this one.

Like,

okay.

Yeah, this feels good.

Yeah.

Shower us with your

You mean the enormous structure made almost entirely of plastic?

Wait, he made it out of plastic?

A non-magnetic substance

can be steered instead of being influenced by any electromagnetism.

I have to give it a thought.

That's actually an educator's device.

Calper, how do you know that?

helped build it.

What?

Wait,

okay.

Did you help build it?

Perhaps

most of the exterior of the cage is action figures of the geriatric gal palsy.

Yes.

They're all special editions

with pinching action.

Oh, no, not the pinching action!

Yes, I've set up a chain reaction in such a way that once I start the pinching, they'll pinch down the line.

Oh no.

It'll eventually pinch one of the thrusters

so that it's very slightly, infinitesimally off-center.

And that would spin the entire cage off balance and it would immediately implode into the Allweed.

Yes.

You're gonna sabotage a device that could destroy the Allweed?

That might destroy the whole galaxy.

It's a risk I'm willing to take if it means the end of plastic.

So we're talking about, like, all the figures?

Is Ninja Bonnie like the

special edition, you guys?

Like, this is Bonnie's not usually in a ninja costume.

Like, it's good.

Just double this for fine.

Calpar, we're sorry for AJ.

Was AJ just speaking?

Yeah.

Oh, no, it's happening.

I told you we should have taken him out.

Well, hey there, everybody.

Nice looking crowd out there.

Thanks for your patience.

I know it's been kind of a long wait so thank you everybody.

We are now at go time.

We are gonna turn this sucker on and the all-week is gonna be all beat.

Yes!

Yes!

The final phase nears!

The last ingredient about

it's the device.

C-53, the device is the last ingredient.

It's exactly what the all-weed wants.

You gotta stop

being our new.

I don't think that's good stuff.

No, I know I talk about it a lot, but Bino knew that this device was gonna be made and he knew that it was gonna activate the all week.

No, listen, listen, just listen.

Calipar is right.

We have to destroy the device.

You know what?

He's not wrong that we're perhaps a little cavalier about our use of plastic in the galaxy.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Guys,

No, no, I'm not sure that I want to be a leader.

I kind of have this other thing,

and I have horse hats.

What do I have to do to make you sad?

Without you, we'll just turn into chaos.

Don't listen to them.

I alone will find you.

Is this what you want?

On this!

I'll dance so weird.

I'll hit him.

I'll give up shrimp for you.

Shrimp means nothing new here.

I'll turn over the speeder for you, Shatu.

These others offer weak things.

I offer my own life.

I'll turn that speeder back over.

I'll give mouse to mouse to the guy who killed himself.

Saved him.

What was it like?

I stood between life and death, able to observe both at the same time.

Fascinating.

That's too much.

I don't really see you anyway.

Tell us, tell us, were there willows?

Far larger willows.

What's that?

Larger than Dartholowows.

Shrimp as far as the eye can see.

All hail, this guy.

Darthalowas,

you are now this guy, Sarah Lobos.

No, not as I say, turn the other cheek towards this guy.

Yes, we will follow you.

That sounds better.

Um, I guess I'm gonna just uh

see myself out.

Sure, that's fine.

Have a good one.

Goodbye.

Okay.

Take a pan.

Don't forget to take a pan.

I have to stop it.

I have to stop it.

Come in C-53, Nermit, calling for a status report.

Voluntarily,

it is time for me to fulfill my destiny

to go up there

and press the limited edition

diamond

gal pal.

What?

As you can see, I have a homemade wagon rocket.

Wow, this should not fly.

Looks like a coffin with a furnace on the back.

It's all wood, including the nails.

Honestly.

The wagon rocket, it has enough oxygen for one trip to the all wheat.

Just one trip

down to the molecule.

I've measured it.

And there's only one seat in there.

And once it gets up

pull on that Gal Pal handbag.

Hi, team.

What did I miss?

Kind of a lot.

But how are you?

How are you?

You know, pretty good, actually.

I uh it was just a cult sensation there for a bit.

Oh, awesome.

Did you do like rituals and things like things like that?

Yeah, you know, um, they kind of helped me accelerate through all the phases of processing my death.

And, well, now I'm just in acceptance so

there were rituals

yeah awesome okay great

what what the

so wait you're not in it right now and it's taking off

so sorry

yeah Papa you gotta admit this is

uh

Papa.

He just disappeared.

What?

Oh, okay, no, he didn't.

No, I'm almost certain he's on that rocket headed toward the Allweed, like a big dummy idiot.

You let him near a rocket ship?

Was it our idea?

I was against it.

I was totally against it.

What are you talking about?

Why weren't you any of you monitoring him?

We all know that he's been dying to launch himself into the all week.

He did mention it.

He took my dream away.

I think I'm gonna go back to the mines.

All right, I've been sent by the director to calm you down because we have an existing relationship.

Why aren't you going on set?

No, they're jealous of you, Donkey.

They like you, but they're jealous of you.

That's different.

Hey, let me tell you something.

The Shirk franchise has nothing to do with Shirk.

Donkey, you are the franchise.

You are the reason these movies are made.

You're the merch.

You're the voice people here in restaurants.

Yes, I did kill you in my first draft.

That is correct.

You're the one who can carry a death scene.

You're not gonna just close your eyes and fall.

You're gonna feel it.

You're gonna become it, and you're gonna make it stretch out for at least five scenes.

I was thinking it starts off with you taking your own life, and then it continues on for the rest of the movie.

I agree.

Go walk out there and tell them you want to do that version of the script.

Alright, cool.

Good luck.

I don't know if that'll make them like you anymore.

If that was the original point of this conversation.

This is Sea Red IT5, credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol.

Plug Deck Sutter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53, Ted Ronka, and the Resurrected Cultist were played by Jeremy Bennett Captain Darr and the No Nada Cult Leader were played by Ali Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship, Sisu Gundu, Tooth of Pew Pew, and the Shrimp Lady were played by Lujan Zolfagari.

T-Mom Nerve Bundaloy, Milphus the PA, and the Ted or Dead Guy were played by Seth Lynn.

AJ and the All Wheat were played by Winston Knoll.

Cal Par was played by special guest Nathan Minn.

Nathan is a writer, actor, and stand-up based in New York City.

He recently wrote for Adult Swim's Joe Parra Talks With You.

You can find out more about him at NathanMinn.com.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn and Alden Ford, with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famed Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra with additional performance by the Chime Street Brass Quintet.

Opening curl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Rargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission Desix is a proud member of the MaxLanthon Network.

Hey, Jay Keith.

Hey, Helen.

Hey, you've got another True False quiz for me?

Yep.

Our trivia podcast, Go Fact Yourself, used to be in front of a live audience.

True.

Turns out that's not so safe anymore.

Correct.

Next, unfortunately, this means we can no longer record the show.

False, the show still comes out every first and third Friday of the month.

Correct!

Finally, we still have great celebrity guests answering trivia about things they love on every episode of Go Fact Yourself.

Definitely true.

And for bonus points, name some of them.

Recently, we've had Ophira Eisenberg plus tons of surprise experts like Yardley Smith and Suzanne Summers.

Perfect score!

You can hear Go Fact Yourself every first and third Friday of the month with all the great guests and trivia that we've always had.

And if you don't listen, well then you can go fact yourself.

That's the name of our podcast.

Correct.

Woo!

Schmanners, noun, definition.

Rules of etiquette designed not to judge others, but rather to guide ourselves through everyday social situations.

Hello, internet.

I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy.

And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy.

Every week on Schmanners, we take a look at a topic that has to do with society or manners.

We talk about the history of it.

We take a look at how it applies to everyday life.

And we take some of your questions.

And sometimes we do a biography about a really cool person that had an impact on how we view etiquette.

So join us every Friday and listen to Schmanners on maximumfun.org or wherever podcasts are found.

Manners Schmanners.

Get it?

MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and culture.

Artist owned, audience supported.

No,

I'm sorry, I can't control my head.

That's okay.

They're going to choke you out.

Nope.

Why won't you geriatric gal pals just die already?

Well, hey, if you watch the show, they have superpowers that keep them alive for a preternaturally long

time.

We're full best friends, but our hips are turnt.

Down with plastic.

I have had it.

Walking in the mall and solving crime.

Taking a nap, right at 309.