Torto Troopers Assemble! [ft. Glo Tavarez]

It is a time of chaos.

Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course, the colossal all wheat.

Which looks like a couple thousand comets having a fist fight.

Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is Mission to Sink.

A C53?

Yes.

I have a question for you.

It's there a hypothetical

question.

It's about the Allweed.

What do you think would happen theoretically if, I don't know, like a Tellurian

went into the Allwheed?

You're suggesting you would go inside the Allwheat?

Yeah, well, not me specifically necessarily, but just what would happen if

a Tellurian did go in.

Yeah, but I'm okay.

In this hypothetical situation, let's say

let's say I went through or into the Allweed.

What do you think would happen?

Well, Black, we don't know a whole lot about the Allweed because no one's ever come out of it.

The suggestion would be that it's a black hole, but you know, infected it somehow.

Um,

that would mean you would be crushed to death in an instant.

But I believe your perception of it would be infinitely low.

Oh.

Okay.

Yeah.

To be believed.

What?

That's a bad idea.

Yeah, I'm not.

I'm asking to see if you can go into the all-week.

I'm not asking if I can.

I just got a dump question alert.

Dump question alert.

That doesn't.

That can't be a real alarm party.

No, it's not you, AJ.

It's not you this time.

No, Pleck is asking if he can go inside the all week.

I'm not there in a stump question alert.

Listen, I'm not asking permission.

I'm just.

Just like worst when I was like, what's the white part of bread?

It's the break.

That's the whole.

That's the bread.

Right.

I learned it by asking the question.

There is the crust.

He had a point.

Yeah.

Also, honestly, not all bread is white.

So thank you.

That's true.

Check your privilege.

Wait, what?

I gotta go.

Black, where are you going?

Are you trying to go into the all week right now?

I'm not, I, I'm not, I'm not going.

No, no, no.

When your voice reaches that octave, we all know that you're fibbing.

I'm not.

So there's more than just white bread.

Wow.

Wow.

Captain Darr, I have an incoming transmission from our temporary emergency adversarial negotiations missions operations manager, Nermit Buckaloy.

Hey, team.

Hey, Nermit.

Hello, Nermit.

Hello, just everyone here is a flutter.

What?

Just fluttering and fluttering around.

Did you turn the gravity off?

There was a gravity issue.

That's separate.

But I think it's solved.

Nermit, why is everyone a flutter?

We're a flutter.

Oh, sir, because there's got to be a more professional name for what you're referring to.

You're at work right now.

No, no, and we're all a flutter because Sisu Gundu has found a running mate.

Oh,

Sisu Gundu is at a disadvantage because Tedranka has announced the running mate of Kitty, the reformed enforcer droid.

Oh, what?

Kitty?

Yes, good choice, right?

She's really making a name for herself.

Yeah.

And IQQ is running with Vuln Sunblighter.

Strategically, it makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, old monarchy, also very horny.

And

Sisu Gundu has found a running mate.

Yes.

That's fine.

That's fine.

No, AJ, a running mate is completely a business relationship.

No, no, no, AJ, a running mate is like.

Oh, you run and you mate.

Yeah, I don't think there's a lot of mating.

Sisu's finding someone to partner with in her

quest to reunite the galaxy.

Cool.

No, I get it.

No, AJ, it's definitely not.

But, you know,

Reg McClorsk really just ticks all the boxes.

Reg McClure's Reg McClorsk.

Reg McClorsk is Sisu's running mate.

You gotta learn that name.

It's gonna be everywhere on the yard signs.

Sisu and Reg.

Reg and Sisu.

It just sounds perfect, you know?

What about Gundu and McClorsk?

RG, does that work?

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's hard.

Gundu and McClorsk sounds like a law firm.

That's true.

But that's what the galaxy needs.

The rule of law.

Benevolent law order throughout the whole galaxy.

Gundu and McClorsk.

So, um, and everyone.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, speak of the angel sisu.

Gundu is here.

I just wanted to make sure

that I look presentable.

You look amazing.

So from a from a one to ten, would you say I look perfect?

Yeah, on scale of one to ten, you're perfect.

Okay, great.

Oh, I'm so nervous.

I'm all aflutter.

That no, I got the official memo that that's the word we use.

Oh, wow, it really is.

Okay.

Okay.

Now, as you know, he is the perfect running mate.

He has all the qualifications.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with him.

In fact,

I am kind of jealous if I wasn't incredibly sexually attracted to him.

But I'm not going to go there because he's a good one.

I'm so afraid about that.

Professional.

Alright, AJ, relax.

AJ, you can put the gun away.

You can't shoot me.

Nothing will ever happen.

He's not here.

That's what makes two perfect running maids.

They want to juck, but they just don't.

Oh, totally.

When you go to that voting booth, you just want to be like, will they, won't they?

Exactly.

Yeah, totally.

And when I was checking all the boxes, there were check marks past the boxes.

There weren't enough boxes to check and yet extra checks.

Sound good.

You don't want to have too many checks.

Right, robot?

Who's with me?

I might be with you if you stop calling me just robots.

Well, Sisu, do you want to give the...

No, I'm not.

Alright, have fun.

Okay.

Okay, crew.

What's the mission?

Yeah.

The mission.

You just made us sit through a McClorsk Love Fest.

Did you just call us to get us involved in this will they or won't they situation?

I think it's won't they?

Who knows?

Well, yes, to answer your question, it's like you are involved because your mission is to pick up Reg McClorsk, bring him back to HQ.

Fantastic.

He doesn't have his own own ship?

No, um, it's uh,

he doesn't check.

That was literally the one box that wasn't checked.

So, where is this great guy?

Where is he?

You know,

where is he?

Why is he here?

AJ, cool it.

He's obviously speaking to this crowd.

Yeah, AJ, I hate to tell you this, but all this cheering, that's for Reg McClorsk.

He's at the front of this rally right now

for you

and you

and also

behind the ball in the purple this might be weird this might be wild

Captain Dart he's just, he's a perfect mix of like folksy, but also like fired up, you know?

Totally.

Just has something.

There's something about him.

I really just trust this guy.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think I'm a big one.

I'm not afraid of snatching him now, though.

I don't really need to hear him think every single sentient in the crowd.

That's part of it.

That's part of it, Captain.

You know, he's got to connect with everybody.

First grade teacher, Denzia Melinta.

Wow, I knew this for you.

you're here.

Oh, wow, that's nice.

You showed up.

Well, I have y'all here.

Am I right?

I've got a pretty sizable announcement.

I'm joining the campaign of Sisu Gunu.

And I haven't ruled out possibly marrying her.

Wow.

Wow.

That's a surprise.

What is a monster?

A monster.

We know how you feel about him, AJ.

AJ, you need to.

There's a monster.

That's a monster.

AJ,

what tactic are you using right now?

I mean, there's a monster on stage.

Oh,

right now.

Oh, that's a check.

Wow.

Look at that enormous

jacket.

I think we should I think we have to intervene guys

in

colored outfits coming here.

They seem like they know what to do.

Turtle troopers assemble.

Turtle troopers assemble.

Turtle troopers assemble.

Do you business assemble?

Torto clock.

Look at those heroes over there.

Yeah,

flip kick.

Loving it.

Whoa.

I'm loving this.

Look at that.

We're gonna hit you down, monster.

You're going in.

Watch out!

So, this planet seems to have a

plan for this circuit monster.

Look, they're all like.

They're really well cut up.

They definitely have a deep one.

Lukorsky's kind of getting thrown around like a ragdoll right now.

There's one with us right now.

Hey, what's up?

I thought we were going to tell everyone to get safe, but I guess they wanted to find the monster instead.

Yeah, can you help us?

We're supposed to take Reg McClorisk back.

Yeah.

What was that thing that took McClorisk?

Oh, they come all the time.

They're these monsters that are like evil, which sends them down and we fight them, and then they get bigger later.

And then, honestly, I've been off my game today.

I, um, can I ask you guys a question real quick?

And check out the.

I might have one from you after this, though.

Okay, I just, can you guys check?

Um, am I leaking?

Can you guys look at my butt?

Am I leaking?

Uh, are you leaking out of your butt?

Did the monster get you in the butt?

Is there like blood from the sides?

Do you guys see blood?

Are you bleeding?

Are you alright?

Yeah, I just got my first period and it's gotten me all crazy, and I just don't know how I'm gonna do this and have a period.

So if you see any green on my

hot orange suit, it's uh can you just like let me know, can you?

It's alright.

No, don't be afraid.

It looks good.

Yeah.

The green looks good on the orange.

Is there green on the orange?

Is there green on the orange right now?

No, not much.

Not much?

Maybe just like

if you took a little beaker full of blue liquid and poured it onto a white pad?

Maybe like that amount.

Oh, oh, no.

Oh, no.

I've embarrassed myself.

It's actually a lot.

It's actually a lot?

You didn't embarrass yourself.

You just beat the shit out of an enormous monster who stole your leader.

I know.

That was pretty cool.

Yeah, while you were out of your period.

You guys don't think I'm weak?

No.

No, no, no, no.

You literally saved everyone.

I know.

What is your name?

Yeah.

Oh, I'm Timberly.

What are your names?

I'm AJ.

Yeah, I'm Pleck.

And I'm Dar.

Timberly, can we actually circle back real quick to what you were saying about the monster and how they always get bigger later?

How does that happen?

It's just part of it.

Like, I don't think about it too much because it's just going to happen.

So it gets bigger later.

And I just need help finding my group.

And also, I guess that Frico guy who doesn't do much just talks to everyone all day.

Wait, who?

Got kidnapped.

Reg or whatever.

Jimberly.

We were actually here to see Prime Minister McClorsk.

Oh, wait, but how did you describe McClorsk?

Ugh, he's the worst

guy.

he's the worst.

It's like all the older

Dardians really, really like him.

And I think it's just because he's very charming, but he doesn't do much.

And he holds these rallies every day.

And not much is getting done.

Every day?

Every day.

Whoa.

No wonder he was so weird.

It seems like if he's holding rallies, but you're the ones actually fighting the monsters.

I mean, it seems like you guys should be in charge, right?

Yeah.

Hey, what's your team name?

Sounds cool.

Like, what's your team's name?

Because we don't have a name.

We're just like the crew.

But what's your team name?

Because I'm kind of thinking maybe we're a team name.

Do you guys have a team name?

Yeah, of course.

We're the torto troopers.

The torto troopers?

That is cool.

Chucking rocks.

Tordo troopers, that's cool.

Torto troopers.

Yeah, we form a tortoise.

We go into a shell, and then one person's the head.

Ooh!

Which part are you?

Which part are you?

Uh,

I'm the tail.

Oh, well, that's an important part of it.

Yeah, that helps that helps steer underwater.

Balance is very important, yes.

Yeah.

Oh, you're

your wrist is beeping.

Oh, whoa.

Timberly, it's Starmont.

We're still waiting at the coffee shack for you to break us our coffees.

Oh, you want me to bring it?

Okay.

Uh, it's Starmont.

Bye.

I think Starmonth hung up on you before you could say goodbye.

Wait, they're they're at the coffee shack?

They're not

they're not fighting the monsters anymore?

Use the caffeine for a combat purpose to enhance reaction to time in some way.

Yeah.

Man, if you guys wanna go to coffee shack with me, I have to go get their orders for them,'cause I'm the tail and I have to like make sure everyone's

maybe this is a stupid thing to put out, but they said they were already at the coffee shop.

Yeah, but they want you to come get the coffee for them there.

Yeah,

that seems

Timberly.

I don't think you're being respected by the members of the Toro Troopers.

It's a lot like how we treat Cleck.

Because

right now he wants to go to a giant flaming ball of like negative energy.

And that's not really relevant.

But it's sort of like one of those things where all of us are like, wait, what?

The wheat hole?

What is it?

The wheat hole?

It's the only.

Uh-oh.

Sorry, I messed up.

I'm doing so bad in class.

No, no, no, no.

It's just, I'm bad in school, and I'm just like so frustrated and overwhelmed, and I have to go get them coffee.

I have a half calf for Beelzie.

Yeah, I just want to have a bad.

Let me go order.

Me, Timberly.

Timberly, wait, don't.

There's

maybe you could tell you could tell by my amazing costume.

Yeah.

Timberly, look.

Yeah.

You shouldn't be treated this way.

Even if you are the butt of the Tordo.

Listen, I think we need to confront your friends, the Torda troopers.

I don't think you guys should get involved, but I appreciate the.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Timberly.

It's too late.

AJ is already talking to them.

No, what's the whole deal?

What is the deal?

What are you talking about, bro?

No, what are you talking about, bro?

What's your deal, bro?

What's your deal?

My deal is I'm the blue trooper, bro.

Well, I think it's jucked up that you're making Timberly get your coffee.

Whoa, that's some pretty spicy language for the torto troopers.

Shut up, nerd trooper.

I'm not talking to you.

Hey, I'm the yellow torto trooper.

Back off, buddy.

I'm the gray torto trooper.

Is the gray torto trooper also an adolescent?

In spirit.

In spirit, he is for sure way older.

Yeah,

he's one of the torto troopers.

You also pissed off the fifth trooper.

I'm colorblind.

What color's my suit?

For the last time, it's green, bro.

Okay, you're the green trooper.

Guys, here, here's some cool stuff.

What is it, Timberly?

What is it?

Coffee, iced coffee.

Here, here you go.

I got some iced coffee for you guys.

Thank you, Timberly.

Here's yellow.

Oh, thanks.

Here's.

Hey!

What are you doing?

I just.

I am knocking those coffees out of your dang hands.

Whoa, Timberly, what's that giant monster you're hanging out with?

Torto Troopers assemble!

Torto Troopers assemble!

Tornotroopers, a sample!

What's the jucking hell?

This monster's against coffee!

My mom said I can drink it, I'm old enough.

This monster's trying to get rid of all the coffee in the town.

Tornotroopers, a sample!

I mean, this is annoying, but I'm loving the footwork, I have to say.

Guys, we gotta chill out.

This is our little bit of a short rest that we're doing right now before we fight the big monster.

So, let's not keep fighting.

Timberly's right.

Yeah.

We gotta conserve our energy.

We need to rest our nimble young bodies.

That's right, Grey Trooper.

We've got to be ready for that monster to come back bigger than before.

Red Trooper agrees.

You're green, bro.

You're the green trooper.

Guys, I'm so proud of you.

I love being on this team.

And

is there a change of clothes?

Do you guys have an extra uh suit I can wear?

Because I leaked all over this one.

Oh,

TMI, uh, Timberly, not cool,

having the same color suit anyway.

And when someone gets their green, that's a sign that they're aging, and there's no obies here.

What?

I'm young.

I'm so young.

I look, I didn't know what the weak hole was earlier.

Did you die about the Obi?

Yeah, I gotta.

Listen, Timberly, it's important to help save the planet from monsters, but if you're not keeping up with your schoolwork, all is lost.

Education is so important, everybody.

You know it is.

Timberly, try to come here about two hours after dinner just for studies.

Hey, guys, I just feel like ever since I...

I got my green goo, I just became

someone that can't win.

Timberly, I don't think it's your green goo that's got you down.

It must be this monster that's depressing you.

Of course.

Torto Troopers assemble.

What the hell?

You guys are the reason she's depressed.

Sounds like something a monster would say.

Whoa.

I mean, every time I see it, it's awesome.

Dara's really holding their own against those Torto Troopers.

Listen, monster.

As Torto Troopers, we know that every monster we fight embodies some sort of personal drama that one of the Torto Troopers is dealing with.

So if Timberly has a problem with you, we've got a problem with you too.

Torto Troopers, assemble!

No, no!

Fop!

Bop!

Bop!

Bop!

Oh, no!

Everyone's been knocked out!

What's going to happen if the mother goes?

Everyone's been knocked out.

Come on, Timberly.

These Torto Troopers are the worst.

Darn, you hit each of those troopers like once and they went down.

Just knocked out.

I mean, they're children.

Yeah, I was being very gentle, if you ask me.

They all went to sleep.

Timberly, are they gonna be okay?

Yeah, their uh gems need to recharge.

I can't fight the monster by myself.

I'm just a tail.

Hey, Timberly, let me tell you something right now.

Sometimes the tail, or as I like to call it, the butt,

can be the most powerful thing of all.

Take this gun, for example.

What?

No!

Yeah, I do.

No!

No, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Timberly, you just you just threw AJ across the coffee tank.

You think you're holding these balls?

That was awesome.

Timberly, you're incredibly powerful.

Here's the thing about that gun.

That gun was up my butt.

Gross.

Yeah, it's okay to drop it on the floor.

Yeah, that makes sense.

It's come from my tail.

Technically,

it's come from my tail.

My tail is incredibly powerful.

Just like your tail is powerful.

I don't think this analogy works.

AJ, I get what you're saying.

It's almost really good, but

I don't understand

this analogy, really.

I think what AJ is trying to say.

I think Jack, we have not too many rules, but really kind of like faulty pep docs are a big no-no.

I think that was a good one.

That was

not on the list.

And knocking out these teenagers was totally fine.

Oh, absolutely.

So, if you could take your pep docs outside, sure.

Okay, guys, let's go outside.

Thanks.

Coming in.

Uh-oh.

You guys were always saying that the monster comes back bigger, right?

Yeah.

Like, now?

Oh, no.

Yeah.

It's bigger.

You said bigger?

That is.

That's a big huge one.

Oh, yeah.

See, that's a monster, right?

Yeah, Timberly, hold on a second.

Why wasn't it just bigger at the beginning?

Well, because.

Yeah.

They should have just made a bigger monster and you just could have squished him.

Yeah, what's the point of there being like a normal-sized monster first?

I don't know.

Oh, no!

Let's go!

Let's assemble the tortoise!

Timberly, can we back up for a second?

What is this torto that you keep talking about?

We form into a big torto here.

Oh, it's this

giant.

Oh, wow.

So it looks like a big turtle.

Yeah, exactly.

A torto.

There's two apartments for each of us.

Oh, yeah.

I can see the cockpits up there.

Okay.

just get in these little elevators and go up into the giant mechanical torto and fight a side.

I'm just able to back up for a second.

They send a small monster first, but they know you have the big robot tortoise.

I can't explain this to you.

If you don't get it, you don't get it.

And I don't know.

I don't know what else to tell you.

I am sorry.

You just don't get it.

You sound like an older one.

Okay.

A giant monster is now crashing a couple of skyscrapers.

We should argue about this later and just uh okay, so everyone gets into their respective cockpit.

You, you look like a head.

You can be a head.

Uh, Timberly, this might be a radical suggestion, but maybe you should be the head.

Me?

Yeah.

The head?

You've never driven a tornado.

Okay.

I'll control the head and the legs because you guys say so, but we'll see if it works out.

Oh, I see the head and the legs is in the same position.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then you be the right arm.

You be the left arm.

Sure.

And you be the jaw.

Alright,

let's do this.

And what should I be?

I don't have a job yet.

On to the tail, the most important part.

Oh, right.

Yeah, we got to see the table.

Literally, you got reassigned from the tail like 30 seconds ago and you already forgot about it.

It's crazy.

It's a lonely being on top.

Let's go!

And then you go.

Left arm, torno clock.

Sure.

You don't have to do that.

I usually do that sound effect.

I like that.

So yeah, yeah, all right.

Left arm, torto clock.

Right arm, tortoise.

Super snapping torno jaw.

Torto clock.

Claw.

Torto tail!

Tort o'clock!

And die!

Head!

Legs!

And brain!

Torto clock!

Activate!

Yow!

That was definitely the blue guy, right?

Earlier?

He's usually up there.

Yeah, he usually is.

Alright, guys, if you guys are ever feeling off balance, just let me know and I'll tail it up down here.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Alright.

Hey.

Real quick,

there's a coffee machine in the tail, so if you want to just

make coffee for us, and then there's like a little chute that you can just send it directly to our tubes, sure.

Okay, yeah, those tubes.

So, yeah, okay, cool.

All right, let's go.

But also, balance.

If there's any balance issues, just let me know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the most important part.

But also, coffee, keep it running, please.

Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, look at that thing.

Terrifying.

Okay.

Stand down, monster.

We're coming to get you.

The only true way is evil, and I will fight for it.

Timberly, I'm gonna sock him on with his right arm.

Yes, sock.

And I'm gonna kick the monster.

Yikes!

Up to you whether you ought to abuse the jaw.

Okay, I'll move my head closer to the monster.

If you want to snap the jaw,

punch,

punch.

This is generally how it goes, sir.

I know we're

thundering around in a very big robot suit right now, but uh, if we could show a little caution, McClorsk is skittering around at the feet of that monster, so you know, just watch out.

All Alright, yeah, you got it.

Man, poor Mulorsk.

Whoa, I'm losing balance, Tail.

What are you doing?

I'm making coffee.

I thought I was still doing that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Making five different coffees.

You guys all sent your orders.

They're all totally different.

I like a coffee.

Okay.

Okay, monster time.

Wait a second.

Wait, you're bulky robots moves.

Oh, I can't seem to hit you!

Oh, go!

I'm losing my

confidence!

Guys, now is the time!

Let's finish him!

We've been kicking the shit out of him for like 10 minutes.

Like, now is it?

Okay, okay.

Yeah,

Steve, you want to come in from your side?

Did you go with them crushing the head and me, like, jawing it or something?

Absolutely, let's do it.

How is the where's the tail involved in this whole situation?

McCopy!

Okay, all right.

Keep the cops are coming.

Oh, there's.

What's happening up there?

I can't see anything from the tail.

Oh, man.

Papa, we just use the fists of the torto to like smash the monster's head, and then I use the jaw and I just sort of like beating the head and the brain.

Alright.

Oh, it exploded.

Yeah.

They all explode.

Wow.

So the real monster was a lack of confidence?

Yeah.

I guess that's what I learned.

I'm a better fighter when I believe in myself.

But but the monster lost confidence and then we crushed its head.

What's the metaphor for that?

If you don't get it, you don't get it.

I don't know what to tell you.

Okay.

Oh, look at that.

McClorisk manages not to get stomped on.

Hey.

Well, Timberly parks the torque.

Why don't we go down a torque?

Yes.

It's weird that she can drive it on her own, right?

She doesn't need parking.

Oh, well.

I guess you don't need all that much balance to park.

Oh, golly, Dink, Rod.

You must be the crew here to take me to

Seasu.

Hello, Prime Minister McCorsky.

It is a pleasure.

Wow.

Oh, job.

That was pretty intense.

That was wild, right?

Yeah.

Does that happen a lot?

Oh, all the time.

These group of teenagers are trying to kill my monsters and stuff here.

Wait, what?

Yeah, this group of...

They're like five teenagers with personal problems, and they form into a big turtle.

It makes sense.

Does it?

If you could just knock them out, drag them, chop them up.

Sorry, Rich, did you say your monsters?

Yeah, you gotta have monsters to stage big kidnappings.

You keep the populace scared.

It's great.

You said chop up the teens?

Yeah, did you see that torto just take out this giant monster I conjured?

Those are the ones I need you to just clobber.

Could you just hold on just one second?

Sure, no problem.

Okay.

Got a coffee?

I do, actually.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

There you go.

Uh, guys, um.

Loud.

It's good cover.

Hey, guys, I'm not sure McCloro is really Sisu's type.

No, that's what I've been saying.

No.

No, you were right this time, AJ.

How is there anything left in that cup?

So we can take this guy out, right?

Timberly's back.

Hey, Timberly.

Timberly.

Hey, guys.

What's up?

Oh, yeah, that's that's the one just uh if you could just bop her.

Oh,

yeah, Reg, I don't think we're gonna do that.

Listen, what?

I think this partnership between you and Sisu is not gonna work out.

Yeah, Reg, I think you're

gonna, because you're doing all the monster conjuring of the crime-fighting teenagers.

Yeah.

Huh.

Well, in that case, I'm also googling.

What is happening right now?

Yeah, he's even bigger than the other monster.

He's like twice as big as a whackwhip.

I'd love to know how everything's getting so big.

No!

You don't get a chance against Mother Mega Khushk.

Oh, guys, let's go right around the corner of this other coffee shack in this part of town.

Uh, right now?

What is it?

What?

Let's go around the corner.

I'll show you guys.

And a mega tortoise!

And you also keep all your robots just sort of around the corner?

Yeah, usually behind coffee shacks.

Help me out here.

Wait, why didn't we just get in the mega torto to begin with?

If you don't get it, man, I don't know.

Like, I feel like all day you've been hounding me with these questions but does the do we control the mega torto or does the torto control the mega torto mega torto activate

and then the mega torto is going to grab us and put us into their shell

mr.

robot man we're inside the big robot now it appears that the mega torto is controlled by the torto which is controlled by us it's mega torto clock

Okay.

Seems like there could just be the controls that go straight to the big tail, but I'm not going to ask any questions anymore.

Good.

Good.

Thank you.

Yeah, the weird thing is, I have to use the tail of the torto to control the coffee maker, which is in the tail of the mega torto.

It just seems like I could cut out the middle part.

It's so much easier to get it.

Are we gonna talk about making coffee?

Are we gonna make coffee?

You didn't drink the first coffee I made.

Also, the mega torto has legs, but then it has tank treads in the feet.

We're moving so slow.

Oh, I just spilled my first coffee.

You better push the clock.

Typically, there's a button here that says jaw laser.

Did that should I push that or what?

Okay, so you asked if you should push it and you were pushing it.

It's better to ask forgiveness, right?

Uh, I guess that's fine.

I guess we we usually only use that mega laser for uh at the end.

Why wouldn't I just start with the mega laser?

I'm sorry.

It clearly took out the monster immediately.

I do not think the finishing laser was gonna come back,

okay.

Now he's dead.

He had one last thing to say, of course, but now he's dead.

I would have

been fine if it weren't for you dang torn troopers inside your respective appendages, inside even bigger appendages.

Ah!

Sorry.

Okay, well, do you guys wanna see the extra mega tortoise?

Come on!

Did you guys want to see it?

There's another coffee shack.

Timberly, you did an amazing job back there.

Yeah, Timberly.

Thank you so much.

I feel so confident and so good.

And like, hey, you guys are here.

You guys, you guys are up.

Damn, literally, we regained consciousness in the coffee shack.

It came straight here as fast as we could.

I dreamt in full color.

Wow.

Oh boy.

I teen every day.

Guys, guess what?

I defeated that monster, and it turned out Reg was controlling it the whole time.

And then my friends worked the tortoise with me and the mega tortoise.

You made coffee for these guys?

Uh, no.

Timberly was in the head.

Whoa.

Yeah, guys.

But I drive the head and the two legs.

Timberly makes coffee at the tail.

Well, from now on, I think you can

get your own coffee.

Oh, take that, Trevin.

Don't use my real name when I'm wearing my helmet.

She has so much confidence.

Timberly, your newfound confidence is inspiring to me.

Yeah.

Good.

Do we stick around for this or do we have to

feel like that?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna.

It was nice meeting you guys, but I have to head home.

I'm yeah, there's Timberly.

You saved your own planet single-handedly.

Single-headedly.

Yeah.

You could also probably mount that mega jaw laser into like a smaller.

You could just carry it around and just use that as soon as you saw the first monster.

You have a lot of ideas, don't you, huh?

Was this dip shit doing this the whole time?

Get the hell out of here, brother.

Yeah, so, no, the crew explained that McCloris was a literal monster.

Right, I know.

They're all literal monsters.

Do you know?

He became the size of a building and then exploded into just

huge sharks.

Everyone you put your trust in ends up being a monster.

My live story.

Right.

I should write that down for my biography.

He was 700.

Phil, can you write that down?

Great.

Where would you like me to write down?

Everyone in her life turned out to be a monster.

Is your biographer going to be using my desk?

Alright, thank you.

Why?

There are so many biographers who are great who are not slug creatures.

Nermit, honestly, very rude.

I'm an equal opportunity hirer.

Fair, fair.

I just have to sit in that chair afterwards.

Just because I work slower.

I work really slower.

Nermit, I'm not surprised that he died.

You know?

Really?

While you were gone, I was already thinking about other people who would replace him.

You can never put your trust all in one person, Nermit.

If there's anything that you you learn from being a teen mom, it's to trust no one.

Wow.

Phil, can you get me a scotch?

Sorry, we don't have any scotch.

We just have scotch eggs.

That's fine.

We'll take it.

That's not a great replacement.

Nermid, it's okay.

I already have a list of eight other candidates I think would be excellent as a running mate.

Number seven.

I skipped number eight.

Number seven is Daryl DeDonk.

Hi, I'm Daryl DeDonk.

Thoughts?

Concerns?

Number six,

Felicia Bowie.

Felicia's just dancing silently?

Yes.

So, who are these people?

Well, like I said, Nermit, you can't trust anyone, but you can trust standardized tests.

Which is why I had a group of 200 people take a standardized test that analyzes their trustworthiness, their future prospects, their sexual chemistry with me, and I brought it down to the next eight individuals.

Perfect.

Then we have number five.

We have allergy eye drops.

I am allergy eye.

I am allergy eye drop.

Now, let's see.

I'm going to take it again.

Hold on.

Very weak.

Very weak.

Dime allergy really eye drops.

Hey, allergy, why don't you

just keep them all in there?

I want to see the real me.

Dime allergy eye drops.

I don't know.

I'm still on the fence.

They

are

high-playing torto drug a teenager and a gates

They

are

biting monsters after school but somehow keeping up good grades

Five torto jumps give them the strength to tort it to settle any score

With the power of their friendship plus a lot of caffeine they can tort a little more.

Tornout tubers assemble.

Tornout tubers, assemble.

Tornout tubers will have to assemble.

They can't fight until they have assembled.

They

know

just what to do when the monsters start to grow.

grow.

Whoa

They've got

Omega Torto round the corner fired up and ready to go

The colorblind trooper's pretty sure that he's green And the gray one's definitely 17

If you don't get it, then you don't get it You're probably too old

Torno Trooper's assemble.

Tornout troopers assemble.

Tornout troopers assemble.

Tornout troopers will have to assemble.

They can't fight until they have assembled.

This is Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Joy, commencing Atro Protocol.

Fleck Deck Setter and the Blue Trooper were played by Alden Ford.

C-53 and the Yellow Trooper were played by Jeremy Bent.

Captain Dara was played by Alec Okesh.

Bargie the Ship, Sisu Gundu, the Monster, The Bigger Monster, and the Grey Trooper were played by Mujan Sulfagari.

Team Mom Neru, Bundaloy, Reg McCorsk, and the Fifth Trooper were played by Seth Lind.

AJ Ann, Allergy Eyedrops were played by Winston Null.

Timberly was played by special guest Glo Tavares.

Glo co-hosts the podcast's second best, a DD Adventure.

Follow her on Twitter at Yoglo underscore.

That's Y O G L O underscore.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded from eight locations in four time zones while while experiencing 11 types of anxiety.

The original song, Tordo Troopers Assemble, was written by Elterfin and Shane O'Connell.

Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening crow narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

If you're looking for a new comedy podcast, why not try the Beef and Dairy Network?

It won Best Comedy at the British Podcast Awards in 2017 and 2018.

Also, I love

there were no horses in this country until the mid to late 60s.

Specialist Bovine Arsvet.

Both of his eyes are squid's eyes.

Yoga Buffet.

She was married to a bacon farmer who saved her life.

Farm-raised snow leopard.

Download it today.

That's the Beef and Dairy Network podcast from maximumfun.org.

Also, maybe start at episode one, or weirdly, episode 36, which for some reason requires no knowledge of the rest of the show.

Listen, I'm a hot shot Hollywood movie producer.

You have until I finish my glass of kombucha to pitch me your idea.

Go.

All right, it's called Who Shot You, a movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white dudes.

I'm Ify Whiteyway, the new host of the show and a certified BBN.

BBN?

Buff Black Nerd.

I'm Alonzo Doraldi, an elderly gay and legit film critic who wrote a book on Christmas movies.

I'm Drea Clark, a loud white lady from Minnesota.

Each week, we talk about a new movie in theaters and all the important issues going on in the film industry.

It's like guess who's coming to dinner meets cruising.

And if it helps seal the deal, I can flex my muscles while we record each episode.

I'm sorry, this is a podcast.

I'm a movie producer.

How did you get in here?

Iffy, quick, start flexing.

Bicep, lats, chest.

Who shot you?

Dropping every Friday on maximumfund.org or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Maximumfund.org.

Comedy and culture.

Artist-owned, audience-supported.

What about Gundu and McClorsk?

Pargi, does that work?

Yes.

Gundu and McClorsk.

I had that once.

Someone gave it to me.

I itched for weeks.

Oh, boy.

What about Gundu 2284?

2884?

Fuck.

What about leave it?

It sticks.

It stays.

You know what that does?

2884.

AJ, who do you see Sisu with?