405: A More Prefect Union [ft. Jordan Carlos]

This is SeaRed IT5 with a few announcements.

Due to a pandemic in a quadrant far from Zix, the Max Fun drive has been postponed.

More details about the drive are at the end of this episode.

In times like this, when society must come together, or in this case, separate, for a common cause, we are reminded how lucky we are to be part of a community-supported operation like Maximum Fun.

Mission to Zix will continue to put out episodes, edited, and sound designed from our isolation bunkers on the off chance that the absurd travails of a crew far away might comfort you during this trying time.

Stay safe, stay fresh, we jucking love you.

It is a time of chaos.

Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course, the colossal, all wheat,

which looks like a supernova hitting rock bottom.

Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is Mission to Sink.

Hey, Captain Dar.

Uh, what's going on?

Do you notice there are a lot of uh people on the ship that are not us?

I'm sorry?

Why is there a sign that says waiting room on the loading dock?

No, I'm stupid.

Wait, I'm I'm sorry.

There are other people here?

I just have been

so busy with all this

paperwork.

I just haven't even had a chance to uh shower yet.

I don't know.

I don't I just thought that you'd probably be the person I'd forgotten.

No, you get them for me.

I should be the person that would know.

RG, why are there people on the ship?

They're taking meetings.

We're doing a bunch of generals.

Okay.

I'm in development now.

We got a general on board?

Fallen!

There's a general on board.

Okay, no.

Agent, general swivel, Agent.

That's not.

Even if there were a general, that's not what you want.

Other generals.

No, no.

A general in the entertainment biz lingo is when people without jobs come and pitch themselves to you and then I as a s person in development, go, Okay, wow, and then I never do anything about it.

Oh, that's a general meeting.

Okay, so there's no general involved?

No.

Well, I mean, maybe they could be.

That would be interesting.

If the general had a a solid elevator pitch and a sweet log line.

Yeah.

Soink ink, I'm ready for you.

Soink ink.

Okay, so here's the idea.

Yeah.

So it's a workplace dramedy.

Yeah.

But um, everybody's a blorp.

And I've seen it.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, I have some other stuff.

Okay.

So

it's a courthouse dramatic.

I've seen it.

Alright.

Get some water.

Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you.

Wow.

Wow.

Listen, Bargie, are these meetings going to be done pretty soon?

I think we're going to need to get to the loading band at some point.

Number five.

Oh, that's me.

Okay.

Hi, Papa.

Hi, my name is I'm Dempia Gilmore.

Okay, you know, I'm only taking this meeting because I know your father, right?

Oh, really?

You know Papa?

Of course I know.

Papa.

He is so sick.

Yeah, but Bargie, the loading dock is the waiting room.

You could use a cargo hold for the meetings.

We have to sort of do crew stuff out here.

Daw, thank you so much for doing the paperwork for me.

Oh, wait.

I thought this was for us.

No, this is for you.

You're helping me.

These are all NGAs.

I just.

I mean, I didn't really understand any of it.

This is my first time as captain, so I just figured, you know, paperwork is paperwork.

And I've been filling it out for hours.

Yeah, Darth.

Normally, you're not going to have to do that much paperwork.

It's captain.

Well, I mean, I never saw Pleck doing any paperwork.

That's a good indication.

Well, I just thought that was because it was Pleck.

Also,

I wasn't the captain.

You weren't the captain.

Captain Dora, I have an incoming transmission from temporary emergency and serial negotiations missions missions operations manager Nermit Bungaboy.

Alright, let's take that call.

Hi, Nermit.

Hey.

Nermit, thank you for you.

How much paperwork am I supposed to be filling out?

As Captain,

we haven't sent any.

Will you ever send any?

I mean, I think in the papers.

The paper is the future, so I guess possibly, but we haven't.

I guess it would only be in the future.

No, probably none.

Probably none.

Ah, she's not around.

You don't have anything to say or anything.

You just yellow.

Everything froze because there was like a power outage.

Oh, no, Nermit.

Yeah.

You're cold-blooded.

Anyway, Nermit, you had something to say?

Oh, I called, yeah.

We almost never call you.

It's ice cold here, guys.

My brain is off.

Nermit, you gotta get that electricity back on.

You're gonna gonna be getting

real dumb.

Electric blanketers.

Yeah,

you're a jucking idiot.

I'm gonna run my head.

Okay, I remember.

Oh no.

Nermit, what's what's the mission?

Okay, the machinery's frozen over, but I'm gonna turn this crank and we're gonna get some temporary power so charge or stuff and get you the mission.

Okay.

Where did you get that?

Uh, the closet.

Oh, boy.

C-53, it's.

I mean, I feel bad that the power's off, but when he uses the crank, it can be.

Yeah.

And power.

That's a true.

I feel an idea.

Okay.

Nervit, quick, while your brain still works.

Tell us the mission.

Got it, go.

Crew, you need to go meet Prefect Intelius Quint Quinn, who is the head of basically a perfect happy society.

Pisu Gundu needs to know how he achieved that.

Yeah.

And I'm sending you the the coordinates now.

And the reason...

I got him.

Is...

We better turn that crank again, Nermit.

I don't know.

We should send him a hat or something.

I've just seen...

So ice.

Oh, boy.

So ice.

Alright, Nermit.

Put a coat on or something.

We'll see you later.

Why don't you go down to the boiler room or something?

Huh?

Nermit, we'll see you later, alright?

You called me?

No, man.

Okay, we're gonna get this.

We're gonna thaw out.

Go for it.

Can I just say something a word about bird?

No, no, no.

Yeah, no,

we are too.

Yeah, it must be rough to have an idiot around, yeah.

Does anyone get the feeling we've been here before?

I mean, I don't know.

Are the coordinates familiar to you?

I mean, it looks familiar, but these coordinates don't match anything in my database.

I feel like this odd cropping sensation just feels so familiar.

Hi there.

Welcome to the Zank District, the most peaceful place in the universe.

Okay, wait.

What?

That sounds great.

Wow.

Is this the same Zank District?

I mean, CP3, you're the one with all of the

knowledge about this.

Wait, what's the Zank District?

Enough from this conversation.

Yeah, this is.

No, I want to know.

I didn't want to, but this is a Zank3.

Hey, hey, hey,

What?

What?

Wait, what?

We got wayward youth who need guidance.

Is that a euphemism?

What are you gonna do with these youths?

Yeah.

Oh, that sounds pretty good.

Wait, so wait, what was the Zank district before?

It seems like a pretty nice place right now.

Hey, Cleck.

Yeah.

Are you feeling that same, same like heated throbbing sensation deep from within yourself?

Dar, I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm a former pervert who's now rehabilitized.

Definitely give it off that pervert energy.

I'm a former pervert and I'm volunteering here today.

I'm part of the committee to re-elect the prefect.

That's right.

Okay.

We're not really interested.

I mean, I hope you're not.

Don't you want to meet the prefect?

Oh, actually,

yeah, we can meet

Yes.

Follow all these other former perverts.

We're forming a very stable lives.

So, all of you former perverts, all of you.

We used to be perverts, but now we're critics.

Yeah, we're good stuff, buddies.

You live the perverts of the past.

You know what's under this trench coat?

Clothes.

Clothes.

And a diploma.

Yeah.

And a button.

Oh, yeah, it says I like it.

Here you go, Miss.

Rotten down.

Oh, you are such a sweet.

Let me kiss your forehead.

We appreciate you so much.

It always feels so good delivering meals to the elderly and homeless elderly.

Tell us Quint Quinn.

IQ Q.

IQQ.

Oh, wow.

Oh,

I knew this moment would come, and I have been bracing for this.

And I knew that

if I had the power and the strength

to call upon my rod, my scrimp, to call upon my rod, that I would be strong.

Do not fail me.

I do not strike you down in vengeance, but I embrace you as my own children.

Come to me.

Come to me.

Yes.

Embrace me embrace me loading robot

Embrace me

And you too ship

Look at you

my rod and wheel just reliving the searing trauma of being blasted out into the cold depths of space by those that I thought were my friends.

Somebody recap real quick for me.

What's going on?

Who do you?

I'm AJ.

I'm

do we know what?

No, I don't think we do.

Do I owe you money?

What?

Do you owe me money?

Maybe.

Let me tell you something about debt.

It's gross and it don't belong here in the Zank system.

And we don't owe nothing to nobody.

AJ, IQQ stowed away aboard our ship with the intent to blast us with a sex gun, and we

had no choice but to

what?

It's a funny story.

It is sort of a funny story.

When you look back and look at it, it's a funny story.

Oh, yeah.

We can all kind of laugh.

I'm actually feeling a little sick right now, just remembering it.

I just can't, like, ugh.

It looks like you get the chills or something.

Yeah, I don't know what it is.

Just maybe it's the thought of having to face this shameful memory.

Listen, we are so sorry.

It was really not.

We never meant to.

I mean, no, no, we meant.

I mean, at the time, sure, we were

working for the center of alliance.

It was a very different time in our lives.

Yeah, you cool.

But let me tell you something.

It is the rushing waters under the Jeruelian's fan.

Do not worry.

Wow, that's very kind.

Let's just say we all had different jobs, and IQQ, I am glad that you are happy and healthy and seem to have really turned things around for yourself.

Hello.

Right, recycling.

And repurposing.

And yes.

That's very nice.

Requirement.

Yes, we don't use those for pornography anymore.

We use it to make the laws and to help the people.

Sure.

And that's what we're all about.

That's really

wonderful.

Why don't you join me in my pleasure gardens and I will relate to you the story of my past, my present, my future, perfect, and beyond.

Come on into the pleasure gardens.

Yeah, we were here before.

Well, they're more pleasurous now than before.

Look at all this.

Yeah.

It's just so green and very lush.

Very lush, isn't it?

Wow.

So lush and feckin'.

Whoa, it looks like there's a farm and table restaurant right over there.

Yes, well, it's actually table to farm.

You take the table to the farm and you pick out what you want.

You got your blebe larps and you,

you know, it's in season, it's the crayons right now.

Pardon me, pardon me.

Turn your lights on.

Okay.

Sorry, guys.

Take the table.

There you go.

Oh, wow.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Table to farm.

Table to farm.

Much has changed in the Zyng system.

Now, it was a horrible event that I have since forgiven you for, Clark, when you blasted me into the cold vacuum of space.

And I had time to reflect as all my particles reversed and all of the moisture in my body was extracted and taken out.

As I felt my lungs go through my throat

that

I would forgive you

because

so what was this guy before he was a prefect

you shot him in space but what was he before relaxed

I solicited

solicited

flesh

I'm not proud of it

and now

that is a terrible word yet on the money

But yes, that's what I was.

As was my father before me, as was his mother.

Wow.

I didn't know that about you.

And now you reconsidered everything, and now you're a prefect of a district assistant.

I am, and I have y'all to thank for it.

I would.

How did you survive in space?

How did I survive in space?

I tilted my body to the right angle

and re-entered the Zync system.

Are you free?

Phil, from things?

Nothing is free.

It costs me.

My body was crushed on impact.

Is that why you're mostly like cybernetic?

Yes.

I still forgive you.

I have it in my heart.

And I pray to Rod every day because to hold that mantle is not easy.

I got it easy.

It's not easy.

I totally get that.

Oh, pimping ain't easy pimping ain't easy but you know what else ain't easy politics in a modern age

and it's hard to be to have the public trust and to be a servant of the people but i have instituted and we now have zero percent infant mortality rate we have

yeah we have zero percent dog mortality rate now dogs live forever

at some point right though

dogs live forever

Then we all volunteer.

Everybody volunteers.

So if you volunteer to be police, if you you volunteer to not be police, if you volunteer to be, you know, arrested by police.

Everybody is volunteering and the whole system works.

You've created almost a utopia?

Yes, a utopia.

Coat donations, coat donations, just

stuff them into the holes of this former glory wall.

Right there we go.

Coke donations.

This is the glory wall.

This is the glory wall.

Just be careful.

There's still some weird stuff in it.

Just put the coat in gently.

There's a lot of mucosas, but you know what?

Now instead of pee-pees being shoved through there, there's pea coats.

So true.

Wow, that makes you better.

Would y'all like a little tour of the Zank district?

Yeah, absolutely.

We would like nothing more.

Then let me get my little tour bot out here.

Oh, you have a tour bot?

I have a tour bot.

I'm a tour bot.

This is a repurposed butt.

The patch is a little wonky, but it works.

Okay.

Tourbot, please take them.

I've never seen a tour bot make such strong eye contact.

The Zank District has been created into a more vibrant and safe community by our prefect.

Thank you, the Prefect now.

Thank you.

Yeah, Yeah,

yes, Smart.

Now, follow your tour bot.

I myself have to go and prepare remarks to speak before my people.

I'm giving a treatise on utopia.

Oh, my God.

Oh, well, well, that sounds really nice.

So.

Okay, huh?

Why is she quivering?

Yeah, we were thinking about that, Prefect Hintelius.

This is most

uneasing.

I don't like it.

And reminds me of my old life.

Sure.

Yeah.

Alright, well, thank you, Prefect Intelius.

Sorry, sorry, sorry about that.

I'll get this out of the control.

What is it?

God.

I'm actually feeling a lot better now.

As you can see here, these former sex dungeons are now labrars.

Labraris.

The internet connection is so strong.

Wait, you've made Labraris here with a strong internet connection?

Yeah.

That's unheard of.

Excuse me, tourbot.

Can I ask you a question?

Oh, yeah.

What happened between when you were a sex bot and now?

I decided to go for higher education, using the money I had as a jackpot to focus on my own self-development.

I can now speak four languages.

Droids only speak four languages.

I only used to know zero language.

Well, the language is a language.

How many do you speak?

Uh, me?

Oh, yeah.

He barely speaks one.

I also like to think I speak the language of the space.

As you can see outside, this used to be where all the animals exchange genitalia.

I don't think we came here when we were here before.

Really?

Separate from us.

Now they live in peaceful cohabitation.

Ah, they're getting a table.

Uh, the animals?

We here have table-to-farm restaurants where we get tables to farm animals

so they can sit down and study.

Okay.

Oh, like desks.

How's the tour going?

Oh, oh.

How's the tour going?

Thank you very much.

It took almost three seasons, but we

turned this mother around.

Wait, I didn't tell them.

I didn't tell them about all the statistics.

Would you like me to do that?

Please inform them on the statistics.

It's your very favorite thing to do.

There is 0%

crime.

There is 100% health care.

Literacy rate is 200% because we can all now read twice.

Wow, wow.

Wow, that's pretty good.

Happiness level is at an all-time high.

And so, with

pants on,

sure, yeah,

we think I'm talking about

it.

Well, maybe just let us handle this.

I don't know if this is a poop.

Yeah, darn.

The captain, I'm the captain.

I have the need

Okay, all right.

If I may, if I may, her energy is very sexual.

I mean, and very upsetting.

Yeah, that's true.

And now, speaking of upsetting and disturbing, I wonder why it is that you are here after all these many cycles.

We come with a mission of galactic unification.

Now, before you came with a mission and blasted me into the blackness.

Okay, yeah.

This is sort of...

Okay, it's a different kind of mission than that.

Sisu Gundu has a plan to reunite the galaxy, and I think what you've done here in the Zinc District is something that Sisu could learn from and take to the rest of the galaxy.

These lessons.

Yes.

You believe that there could be a unified utopia?

I think so.

I mean, seeing what you've done here...

Does she like my swimming bats?

What I've done with the animals?

I mean, I don't know that she knows about them specifically, but I'm sure she'd be very, very impressed.

Listen, IQQ,

just as you have put your past with us behind you, maybe the next step is to join forces with Sisu, and maybe we can not only reunite each other, but the whole galaxy.

I'm touched.

Thank you.

In the right places.

Uh, yeah, right, yeah, of course.

Uh, not in a sexual way.

No, yeah, no, of course.

For money, right, but no, I get what you're saying, I get what you're saying.

I cannot look at you as I make my decision, but join me on this veranda as I look out over the Palantine hills.

Okay,

wow, what a beautiful view.

Isn't it something that goes down and then around there?

Yeah,

my people.

Wow, look at all those people.

Let me address my people now

to take what you have said

and tell them what will be.

I'm ready for my speech to give it to the people.

Let me undo this long scroll formally printed on pornographic papers.

My people.

Yes, it's me.

Harken unto my voice.

I am about to address you.

Not undressed, but

over the old days.

Yes, and you won't get that off.

What we have done here has reverberated through the interlink.

We have created a utopia of sorts here in our zinc system.

The streets aren't sticky anymore.

The streets get broad damn right.

We volunteer and we depend on one another and that is the foundation of a good society.

That we are responsible for the lives of others, that we are responsible for the well-being, as I am responsible for the public trust.

That is what is within all of us.

In the zinc system, there is no one that is below, no one above, no one on top, no bottom.

Everybody

is astride one another.

We have gone through so much together.

I being your solicitor in general,

but no more.

I am your comrade.

Maybe I am

You know,

first among equals, but

I am your friend.

I am here to shepherd you, and we have come so far.

I have news, great news.

Sisu says that she would like us to join with her and teach her the ways of the Zinc system.

What we have here will be scaled and amplified till it reaches the farthest reaches.

I am

Machine now in the county.

I'm advantages in our vote.

These are all good things.

I have something to say in closing that will really bring this home.

In Jintawa, there are two ways to say the word utopia.

Jintawa, the world that we hope to be.

In Jintawa,

the world that can never be.

But I tell you right now,

we live in a world of ideals, and nothing, nothing can stop that.

There's something inside you that's vibrant.

Just pardon

my reach.

What kind of gun is that?

Oh, that's the sex gun.

Why did you do that?

Well, you know, obviously I was using it, and the batteries died, and, well, then I had to use something else, and then I was tired, and I

just left it up there.

Yeah, all right.

Listen, is your sex gun like a butt gun or something?

No,

no, it's actually pretty different, I think.

What

if

that?

I remember that.

I remember that option.

Give it to me.

The past is present.

Am I equal to the challenge of throwing this away?

No.

Tell you, throw it away.

God

damn, if I do, I'll break it.

That's what I want you to do, I'll break it.

Why it's glowing.

It's glowing all the more.

Red and ready to go.

I cannot let this go.

No!

Dark!

No?

Okay.

I mean, I'll just quietly think about this to myself then.

I cast it aside.

I cast it away.

I cast it again.

Still holding it.

Wow.

I mean, this is the most arousing speech I have ever heard.

This moment, I see it at the dawn of a new day.

My people have come so far.

Our lessons to be learned throughout the galaxy about utopia.

But part of me says,

duck it.

And that part wins.

The power

of sex.

Oh no.

Bless you.

Satisfaction.

All the hard work you did.

All the hard work is going to get even harder.

No.

I turn it on you face.

Double barefoot.

So, Adrian, does that answer your question?

Do you understand the difference between a butt gun and a sex gun?

Do the people in the back...

Yeah!

We're not creeps anymore.

We're back to being perfect.

Now we're back to juck machines.

Must jack.

Must jack.

Prefected time.

You turned everything around.

Yeah, I had turned everything around, but you know what?

Now we're gonna do it, doggy.

I just took it

I just took it from semi

automatic.

Oh no.

I know what else is coming down as them pants.

Everybody report to the sex phase.

Now, IQ,

think about what you're doing.

You're gonna undo everything you've done.

This cake had been baked.

Sugar cane.

No.

I remember your name.

It's all associative.

It's all come back.

Thank you so much.

As I was hailing through Seattle.

Coming back here, I said to myself, should I forgive him him for what we did?

I mean, to be fair, it was Bargie that ejected you.

Oh, I'm with your commands.

I mean, yes, a little bit.

Oh, you are, oh, you not the captain.

Uh, actually, Darza.

It actually does the captain.

I don't have time for this on Ninja.

I'm gonna blow everybody away with a piston.

That's right.

Get some, Bargie, Bergie, Bergie.

I'm sure you want to get some more sexual-like.

Hold still so I can hit you, y'all.

So jumping around like a fleigh on a hot brick.

You gotta get Bargie.

Quick!

Get behind me.

It's just no time.

Get behind me.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, John's gonna be that set.

Get back to Bargie.

Oh, I mean, that's how I ran the battery down the first time.

So.

Oh, that tickles.

Okay, hit me again, Daddy.

Yeah, hit me there, hit me here.

Oh, the armpit is an arise, so

I've been saying it for years.

So, can we get your endorsement for Sisu?

Oh, yeah.

If I will endorse Sisu, tell her to ready herself.

Oh, dude, I know, but lay the message.

Captain Darr, I gotta say, hold on, I need to finish this cigarillio first.

Alright, Captain Darr, that was some of the bravest.

Yeah, you really saved us.

Yeah, you really just planted and took it.

You saved us, Captain Darr.

Oh, yeah.

And I'd save you again if I could.

I think we got

a bad thing.

I'm going to say a development deal is in deal.

Okay.

I don't know.

There were no confirmations that I emailed the producer.

It bounced back, but I'm sure that they'll

talk about it.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a major galactic announcement.

Whoa, I know what good.

It's IQQ.

It's IQQ.

Hearken unto my voice, all that are living.

Know this.

Design system will be taking over very soon to fill the void that was left by the Emperor.

And I'll be bringing my sex gun to a neighborhood and quadrant near you.

You will no longer needlessly want for food, beverages,

shelter of any kind, for you will be all on your backs pleasuring others.

business folk and the like

do not worry the work will be over soon soon, and many life forms quickly consummate.

Join me.

Join us all in the zinc district.

All will be zinc.

There is only the world that is zinc and the world that will soon get zank.

I'm Ike Q, and I approve this massage.

Oh, that wasn't what, uh,

that wasn't what you were working on?

It's a great idea, though.

Well, uh, we'll go back to the papers to figure it out.

Captain Dara had an incoming transmission from temporary emergency miserial negotiations, missions operations manager, Nermit Bunny.

Oh, hey, Nermit.

Nermit.

How's it going?

How's it going?

What?

The Juck.

Uh,

funny you should put it that way.

Yeah, Juck is the name of the game.

Is Sisu Mad?

Does her hair still smell good?

Or yes, and yes.

Oh, yeah, I thought so.

This was about galactic unification, and now there's another candidate vying for power.

Well, Well, that is democracy, though.

The one candidate is all you have to do is be better than them.

I think that CC offers a very attractive alternative to the world then.

IQQ image.

Of course.

Right.

Only one great candidate and one sex maniac.

Okay, well, yeah.

This is a great idea.

What is

whatever is happening here?

I'm into it.

I don't have the money.

I cannot actually make it into anything, but I like it.

Thank you.

Everybody in the waiting room, please exit.

I think they're all Fredgie we're in space oh she's just opening the hatch

they all wearing the space suits it's fine

they took it seem like they're taking the helmets off why why would they oh they're pitching as they're going I see it's a dravity

oh they're taking off their helmets they can pitch

it's about a diverse group of young people in an urban settings hard yeah tough tough industry

This is Siri IT5, IT5, Credits and Attributions drawing Menzig Ultra Protocol.

Pleck Dexter was played by Elden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

Captain Darr was played by Allie Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship, the Chief of Staff, and the Tourbot were played by Mujan Sulfogari.

Teen Mom, Nermit Bundeloy, and The Vat of Jizz were played by Seth Lind.

AJ was played by Winston Noll.

Prefect and Telius Quint Quinn was played by special guest Jordan Carlos.

Jordan is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor in New York City.

He has written for Divorce and for Swabs Club, and has appeared on many television shows including The Colbert Rapport, Frog City, and Black Mirror.

He also co-hosts a podcast at Dalting from WNYC Studios.

Follow him on Twitter at Jordan Carlos.

This episode was edited by Eldon Ford with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Crowd cheers and reactions to the sex gun were generously provided by our season four kickoff live show Audience.

Recorded at Robert Dockey Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn, New York.

Opening curl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for Margerian Jade by Eric Boyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Six is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Hi, it's Jesse, the founder of Max Fun, coming to you from the microphone at my home office where I am socially segregating.

So we promised you a Max Fun drive this week, but things

haven't exactly gone how we expected.

So given the pandemic, we're going to postpone this year's drive.

Events are still fluid, so we're hesitant to give you specifics about new dates.

Right now, we have late April penciled into our calendars.

We'll keep you posted about that.

As it stands, a lot of our drive machinery was already cranked up.

So for one thing, you might hear a reference or two to the drive in our shows, which might have been recorded before we made this decision.

And

here is some good news.

There's a bunch of great bonus content available for all of our Max Fund members.

If you're a member and you missed the email with instructions on how to listen, check your spam folder or log in at maximumfund.org slash manage.

Also at maximumfund.org slash manage, you can change your membership if your circumstances have changed.

We know this is a tough time for a lot of people and we understand.

You can also go to maximumfund.org slash join at any time if you'd like to become a member.

During the next couple weeks, what would have been the drive, we're going to do our best to be extra available to you.

We've got some streaming events planned, some social media stuff.

We know a lot of folks are isolated right now and we want to help provide comfort in the best ways that we know how.

You can follow us on social media and we'll let you know what's up.

During this tough time, I have been feeling really grateful for my community of colleagues here at MaxFun

and for you, the folks who make our work possible.

Goofy as that work may sometimes be.

Stay safe out there.

We're thinking of you.

MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and Culture.

Artist-owned, audience-supported.

You free fell from space?

Wow.

Nothing is free.

It costs me.

My body was crushed on impact.

Is that why you're mostly like a you're mostly like a

two-dimensional

that that makes you laugh

that's humorous to you?

Black.

I still forgive you.

Very rude.

You one-eyed man.