320: The Emperor Strikes Wack [Season 3 Finale]

This is See Red IT5 with a special announcement.

The following episode is our Super Size Season 3 finale: a seventh octomus intersize thank you to our supporters on Maximum Fun for making this season possible.

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Consider becoming a Max Fun member, where you'll get enough great bonus content to keep you all dusted up until season four with brand new mailbags, live episodes, and more in the coming weeks.

And now, enjoy the final episode of Season 3.

Well, we're back where we started, in Hollywood, and in a chuckload of trouble.

Our intrepid crew has worked tirelessly for months, assembling the pieces of a new insurgency to defeat Emperor Nermad Bundaloy.

But their time has run out.

In a crowded Hollywood courtroom, the Bargerian Jade awaits the verdict in her trial for financial murder.

C-53 has encountered a critical error, and the birth of Dar's offspring is imminent.

The fabled Zemas have proven to be little help, and the evil Sparks Knights grow in power every day.

Even AJ's tube has broken.

Now, Papa Plekdexetta must gather his courage, his friends, and his dinglehopmer and take down the Emperor before it's too late.

Will he fulfill his destiny at last?

The answers await them on their

mission to Zix.

Kill the rebel spies, the sketch fears.

it.

What is it?

Things are still pretty crazy, right?

Well, yeah.

It's just been kind of like a just a plateau of

Dar's and labor?

Dar, how you doing?

Yeah.

Mr.

Robot Man, it's.

Stop turning him on.

Whenever you turn him on, it's the same thing.

That doesn't always work.

What, Dar, what can I get?

What can I do?

I mean...

C edited his protocol so he could deliver the sentient and now he can't I know I don't

AJ stop turning no turn turn him off

I I know I know how's it going how you feel

I

need you to come closer

both of us or both of you closer.

Yeah, Dar, it's

just one tiny step closer.

Okay, all right.

I

want you both to know

this pain you're feeling right now as I squeeze your tight, telluring in bodies

is nothing

compared

to how I'm feeling right now.

Okay, all right, okay.

Dar

Dar, listen, we are here for you.

Anything you need besides doing that again, we will be here for you to do it.

Oh, hey guys, do you notice that there's like a courtroom outside the window?

It's usually a space.

What?

But now it's a courtroom.

Is that Samo and Wink out there?

They're old friends.

Are they having the trial already?

I feel like they just arrested.

Barjee, how did they come?

This is crazy.

It's like everything's going wrong.

AJ, AJ, you know.

Hey, hey.

What?

What?

I'm just supposed to smile and be quiet, so don't even say my name.

Okay, alright.

Oh, there's a duck.

Oh, boy.

Uh, Bargie, can you open the hatch?

Alright, but do we get really silently?

That wasn't.

That was pretty much the same volume as always.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hello.

I am Doula.

Oh, Dar.

You're Dar's Doula?

I'm Dar's Doula.

Oh, great.

Uh, yeah, come on in.

Dar, your doula's here.

Okay, AJ, just relax.

This is a, this is supposed to be a call.

Oh,

wow.

Is anyone else really

getting hot?

Oh boy, wow.

Dar, I've been sent here to see you when you are about to have your child.

Is it supposed to feel this way?

Yes.

Horror, the worst pain you've ever had in your life.

She's good.

The pain, the blow,

the hole that would be right inside of you and never bring back together.

What's blood?

I think she said blood.

Uh, beautiful.

It progresses to that.

Think of the pain you never wanted, and then think of it happening five times.

It's beautiful when you really think about it.

It's just beautiful.

AJ, you're not being helpful right now.

Papa, I feel so powerless right now.

I know, me too, AJ.

Everything bad is happening.

Now, print Like me, okay, darn!

Okay, follow my broth!

De broth?

Oh.

By the way, Jula, my name is Horse Hat.

Horse Hat?

You know, AJ, I gotta say, everything is so crazy right now that I really expected Horse Hat to have like a weird name, but I mean, it was just kind of a relief to hear like a normal

common name.

Horse Hat.

It's just like, it's the You just need something to hold on to.

It's like, oh, at least her name is Horse Hat.

And then go

like a cat.

Okay, Horse Hat.

Who sent you?

I did pair it.

No, I did not request you, so I don't know why you're here.

You're very small.

Very small.

Oh, it's a lizard.

Yes, the lizard.

It was a lizard.

it.

We say it like six times a mission.

And the lizard says, take care of my door,

for there is only one door.

Now, where are the knives?

Okay, all right.

Listen.

And you think that is sharp.

Oh, give it to me.

Oh, wow.

Okay, well, you know, Horace Hat, when wielded correctly, the dingle hopper can be, you know, a formidable weapon.

Sharpen a bite down on that.

Oh, no, no, oh.

Yeah, it's alright.

Papa hasn't gotten it to

Okay, I made it glow when I freed Corbalevorf from his bonds of space.

Right now!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, boy.

Let it go.

Honestly,

I hope this means that Horsehead can just pull the thing right out and we don't have to waste any more time with labor.

Papa, I got another another knock.

Yo, Barge, can you just just another crickety crack of the door?

Hatch?

I'm looking innocent like.

Okay, Bargy.

Okay.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Nermit.

Hey!

Papa Deck Setter.

We have an incoming.

I'm here.

Right, but we always say that.

I know you'd say that when I call.

Oh, that's fun.

Nermit.

Hi.

Great to see you.

What's going on?

How did you...

I had to come because Dar's in Labor.

And guys, I don't know if a trial is going well out there.

Hey, Nermit.

Labor is such a breeze.

How are you?

Keep your distance, Nermit.

Dar is very hot right now.

No, hot stuff is my chill zone.

What do you mean?

Like, that's how I chill out.

Remember on Gilgash?

In my chill zone.

I heard this song.

It's not a fan, honestly.

In my chill zone.

Okay, I got three collated copies of the birth plan that I want here.

Okay.

Thank you.

Is Horse Hat here?

Yeah, Horse Hat's.

Horse Hat's actually inside Dar right now.

Yeah, at the moment, Horse Hat's just

rooting around.

Here's one singe copy of the birth plan for Horse Hat.

Here's one for you, Dar, and I have one.

Okay, we're gonna start on page one.

What a nerd, Am I?

I found a book.

Oh, a book?

You have been keeping books inside of you?

Wait, no, no, no.

Those are just my bodice rippers.

Oh.

Dar, you shouldn't keep those inside your body.

And are probably overdue from the Librari.

Yeah, we should return those.

I think I should turn the robot back on, right?

No, stop.

Stop.

What are you doing, robot, man?

What should we do?

Stop.

Stop turning on C53.

Alright, Dar Nermit and Horace Hat.

Listen, you know, AJ AJ and I are gonna go try to fix C53.

Let us know if you need anything, okay?

Okay, okay.

Listen, AJ, C53 edited his own root code.

That's not something that an off-and-on burger can switch.

Yeah, I mean, I totally know what root code is.

Okay, listen, this is the midnight shadow.

There's probably like a, I don't know, like a service number or something on there we can call.

Oh, yeah, here it is, the Bronca Cybernetics card.

Okay.

You've reached Ronka Cybernetics.

We got through.

I can't do that.

For returns, please ensure that you have the original packaging.

Please fake issues with your frame after the town.

Uh, okay.

Hello.

Uh, uh, oh, sorry.

Hello.

Um, AJ here.

Um, no, AJ, just no, it's our friend Mr.

Ribbon Man.

Uh, he's in

connecting you now.

Hey there, Ted Ronka here.

What can I do for you for her?

Whoa.

What?

Is the representative Ted Ranka?

Yeah, well, anytime the algorithm can't figure out what the heck you're trying to say, they send it to me.

It only happens about two times a year.

So, hey, good for you.

Hey, wow.

Hope nothing's going too wrong.

What can I do for you?

Oh, wow.

Well, so Dar's pregnant, and Bargie got arrested and is on trial on Pump Up to Justice.

All right, sir, you're going to have to tell your son to get out of the room.

I'm a man.

Okay, alright.

AJ, you are five years old.

Can you hand me the communicator, please?

I don't wanna.

Okay, just

Mr.

Ronka, we have a very important droid here

in a midnight shadow frame.

Wow, you got yourselves a hold of the midnight shadow?

Did you say the midnight shadow?

Yeah, there's only one.

Oh, wow.

We auctioned it for charity.

Oh, who did you sell it to?

I don't remember.

Listen, Ted, listen, Mr.

Ronka.

No, no, we're Fred.

You can call me Ted.

Okay, sure.

Fair enough.

We're having some issues with our C-series.

Maybe you could take a listen.

Yeah, sure.

Ah, geez.

Somebody been messing with the room code on this?

Wow, you were able to diagnose that just by hearing the gibberish coming out of his mouth?

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, you might as well throw the cube away.

There's no fixing that problem.

Okay, we're not.

Okay, we're not throwing away the cube,

but you know, if there's anything else that we can, any other options.

Thank you so much for connecting with Ronka Cybernetics.

Please rate your experience in a small quiz following the tone.

Okay.

Hello, AJ here.

Oh, sorry.

Hello.

Um, uh,

I made a

compilation of actual birth videos.

So what you're about to see are the moment the sentients pop out.

Oh, because that's where we're trying to get to.

So you're gonna watch this.

One, two, three, four.

Look like we're in the crew.

Oh, yeah, I put this upbeat music to it because like it was just constant screams in these videos.

Oh my rod.

Oh my rod.

Oh my rod.

Oh my rod.

Did you see how that sentient obliterated its parent?

Well that was a flarn.

You don't want to

It was like a husk.

The mother flarn is obliterated upon birth of a baby flarn, obviously, but that's just.

Whoa, what is that one doing?

Oh, that's one where the parent is born.

It's very complicated.

We should do what we do when my laser rifle jams.

I just stick it in my face and I blow on it.

You put your gun in your mouth?

No, I don't put it in my mouth, Papa.

That'd be dumb.

I stick it right up to my face and I blow on it.

No, AJ, don't do it.

I promise it'll work.

No, AJ, don't please.

Oh, AJ, do not do it.

No.

No.

C-53?

Yeah,

what just happened?

I blew on the cube.

Why?

How did that happen?

Thank you for that.

You got it, Mr.

Robot.

Okay, I have a lot of questions.

First of all, your helmet is still on.

How did that

work?

Yeah, I have a compressed air feature on my helmet.

Miss Janelle got eggs all so we could all blow out our birthday candles.

AJ, that is...

That is adorable.

Also, in combat, if somebody gets too close, I can blow their eyeball out.

Really?

Yeah, but we may lose it for birthday candles.

Okay.

Listen, C63, I'm really glad you're back.

What happened?

Well, sometimes you know particles get lodged in the dining glass.

We went in the pool and Angelina's retreat.

Yeah.

I think I might have gotten some pee out of my cube.

Some pee?

That's nasty.

Yeah, it's pretty gross.

You could

compressed air can actually clear out a cube.

You mean so it wasn't the root code?

I'm chucking it in.

No, Baba, come on.

Wait, wait, wait.

What's that cube?

Oh, Dar's got into labor.

I can't hurry up to speed.

Dar's got into labor.

Bargy's been arrested.

We're in a courtroom right now.

Okay, now, Nermit, I need you to give me your tiny, tiny hand.

I've it's normal sense here.

Dar, I need you to give me your bigger, strong, strong, passionate hand.

Sure.

And I will be the center fuse.

Put your pain onto me.

I will use it to bring out the sentient being.

I don't know, Dar, that seems like a lot.

You're giving a laugh to Horse Amper.

I pushed Dialback a little.

Oh, those pentacles are thrown.

Oh, my rod.

Whoa.

I think Horse Hat just...

Duh.

Nope.

No, no.

There's so many little horse hats.

Oh boy, it's like dozens of scurrying horse hats.

Nermit,

I interviewed so many doulas and I feel like I really, really, really am glad I held out for horse hat.

This is the best in the biz.

A lot of doulas, when they explode, they're just done for.

Horse hat, no, turns into many, many smaller horse hats and reassembles.

Okay, so I guess I should conclude that labor is actually quite

painful.

Dar, it's okay.

You can, you can do this.

I'm here for you, and I know there's a chance the kid's not gonna look like me, but

I don't care because I love you.

Sounds like it's going pretty well in there.

Yeah, only a couple explosions.

It's pretty good.

That's good.

Yeah, okay.

Listen, guys, let's let's just take a breath.

We'll go in there, calm, and we'll you know, just try to help out whenever we're.

Oh,

that is a very small dude.

She was bigger before,

I'm pretty sure.

I need to be returned to the horses.

This is a uh quick are you not familiar with Tentaculon?

No, I'm not.

This is a tentaculon?

Yeah.

Okay.

This tentaculon has experienced uh great physical stress.

Split, and they have to reintegrate some.

Okay,

they're going through their final movement.

Oh, thank you.

That's very nice.

You're so close, Star.

You can do it.

I know it.

I believe in you.

Okay, everybody.

Oh, thank you for joining me.

I knew long enough.

I was busy.

You're always busy.

Can you find about something?

and get back inside of me.

Alright, fine.

Listen, a doula this good is not gonna not be a diva.

That's okay, let's get it out.

Uh, allow me to engage the medical protocols that I've been saving.

Oh, good.

Oh, wow.

Gloves just sort of appeared on your hands.

Not only that, I've actually reset the parameters of my cloaking field to create a soft energy meeting that will catch whatever comes out of dark.

That's probably a better option than my cold, hard hands.

I mean, yeah, that makes sense.

That's incredible.

You're able to do that?

Sure, I can't.

Cloak, I'd have to go back to the root code to set that up again.

I think for now, it's the remove.

I think I'm ready.

Now I need assistance with sharp objects to go up her hyphanken and take out the oog.

Very good.

This is just power for the oog.

Wow, C53.

How did you make that incision?

Well, you know, why are you messing around with these cars?

A lot of them come out.

Okay, the Oog is out.

You can sell this.

You can get a lot of prunes from the Oog.

Dar, you tell us which way to go.

In the top.

Left.

Nope.

Shoot.

No.

No.

Oh, boy.

Nope, sorry.

Center left.

I'm sorry, Dar, this is just one of your bodice rippers.

Oh, Dar, you gotta get those out of there.

That one was actually really good.

Save spot, save spot, save spot.

Oh,

oh, Rosh, oh, Rosh.

I can't believe something so small was inside of me.

Well, especially because you were, you know, gigantic.

Amazing.

Mermitch.

I like you.

Mermit, would you like to hold them?

Can I?

I would love if you wanted to.

Oh, of course.

I would hand it to you!

Oh, wow.

Nermit,

this is incredible.

The baby looks just like Dar, but

it's the size of a baby bird.

That's so small.

I mean,

wow.

You think you can imagine what this moment's gonna feel like?

And then it's just, it's so much

bigger.

Oh, that thing's full of people.

Well, bigger.

I'm down.

I'm her plant.

I'm planting.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, Nermit.

It's not like you, because it's the exact same shape and size as Dar.

Okay,

probably Dar's species and not any of Nermit.

Rub it in.

Well, it's not.

It's not Nermit's is what I'm saying.

Just be quiet.

Just be cool about it.

Nermit, you may not biologically be the parent, but I

would really like you to be,

you know.

I would love if you would co-parent with me.

What?

Of course.

That's so nice.

I mean, Dar, to be honest, I don't know if I can promise I'll be

okay.

I know.

What are you thinking in terms of names?

Well, I've always really loved the name.

Horse hat.

Wait,

really?

You're gonna name the baby after the doula?

Oh, no.

I actually already had picked out the name horse hat.

It's very common.

Just a coincidence.

Yeah.

It's just such a beautiful name.

Wow, this is really nice.

But I gotta say, I thought it was gonna be that little bean with the arms and legs.

You made Beana?

What?

I thought Dar was going to have Beana.

No, Dar was pregnant.

I thought you were going to have Beano and I was going to be like,

Why did you think that?

Wait, why were you going to be like Clapp?

AG, where did you learn

these words?

You crossed your legs and did a spin?

AG, I just don't.

That doesn't make any sense.

I mean, I did envelop Bino.

Yes.

Right.

Dar did put Bino inside of them.

Bino was so hot.

Oh, the only place that Bino could go was inside Dar.

It's a safe.

Beano!

Bino!

It's

Bino!

It's got missiles!

Yeah, crawling out!

I have to agree with AJ!

That's a twin!

Peter Rabbit is twins!

Twin!

AJ, calm down!

AJ!

The Beetle has burnt out from the child!

Wow.

Hey, Papa, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

That bean is really freaky.

It's got eyes and arms and legs.

Yeah.

And nipples.

What's with that?

Yeah.

Wait, did someone say bean with nipples?

Bargie.

Beano.

It's Beano.

Beano.

Bargie my favorite client.

You look beautiful.

Aw, huh.

Things have got real junked up since you left, Beano.

We miss you so much.

Beano loved Bargie and Beano love the crew.

And Beano loved the story of Beano.

Okay.

Beano.

We're glad you're back.

Beano back.

Horse hats born!

Crew's all together!

Nothing's gonna be better.

Pino weather!

I'm so happy that y'all!

Hold on, shut your jacket mouth!

Oh no!

I yelled that out loud, by the way.

Hello there, viewers at home.

Welcome back to Pump Up the Justice, and we have a the

Wood Bird!

Coming on in hot, coming in real.

Now let's let's cut to a shot of 7,452,642 ballots we printed out.

Waste of paper, yes, but exciting to look at.

Chuck, yes.

Okay, now the verdict is...

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's innocent.

Oh, yeah, non-liable.

What?

What?

How is that possible?

Wow.

I'm gonna cut my hair.

After everything we heard, I'm innocent.

Okay, I mean, I'm innocent.

I've definitely innocent.

I'm a hundred percent innocent.

Varge, what do you say?

All I gotta say is juck everybody here for making me go through this.

Varge, that hurts my feelings a little.

But also, I love to work with all of you.

It's some coupons to Shea Baj.

This mother juck of me is in our sale!

Well, a slow clap in the gallery.

It's me.

Phenom Pennyworth.

Phenom Pennyworth!

You were ejected from the courtroom!

That's right, but I'm back.

And I'm not Phenom Pennyworth.

I'm actually.

Oh, okay, this mask is.

I could call makeup if that.

No!

Hold on.

It's me.

Emperor Nermit Bundaloy, guys.

Oh, no.

Ah, play acting is so fun.

Twist?

It is a twist.

A twist worthy of Hollywood.

I want to congratulate you.

Wow.

A surprise verdict of not guilty, followed by a cameo of none other than the Emperor himself.

This has been quite an episode of Pa-Pa-Ta-Justice.

I want to congratulate you.

In fact, I want to throw you a not guilty party on my Planet Crusher Crusher.

Oh, die.

No, no, no, no, no.

I insist.

In fact, all my forces are coming to escort you right now.

That's it for the Emperor.

No, you don't have a choice.

No.

The Emperor of the Galaxy leads out the acquitted personally.

What's that?

And don't touch that hollow dial because coming up next, Tornado lawyer screeching

will regurgitate famed learned lawyer Danzio Tilsky.

Do Tornadas even have lawyers?

We don't know.

Yes, Glintz, torch open that hatch.

Bring the miscreants out.

No, but you don't need nobody.

You're not asking.

Who are you talking to?

Just burn a hole through the hatch.

All right, hatch, get down to the ground.

No!

Torch through it!

Shucking idiots!

Let's form a perimeter, guys!

Why?

Why?

Stupid freak, give me the torch!

Whoa, hey, hey, hey, don't point that thing at me, okay?

I'm not guilty, huh?

If you want me to open my hatch, just ask.

Okay, there you go.

Opening on my hatchet.

Thanks, Pargy.

Please see them immediately.

Well,

well, well.

You find yourselves

at the mercy

of

not only

I

had Tony bored off psychophant.

Sick of this,

I'm pretty sure it's sick of you.

You're sure you're wrong.

But also, at the mercy of His Excellency, Emperor, Nermit, Butloy, look around you in this.

Look at this throne room inside the planet.

I actually have a question.

Yes.

This planet Crusher Crusher is the size of, like, a gas supergiant.

Yes.

So what's the rest of the...

It can't all be ships.

Well, I mean, it has to fit a planet crusher in it.

No, no, no.

I'm saying, like, what part of this ship is

this is sort of the left.

We're in the left back-ish side.

Yes.

Why aren't the walls curved?

Shouldn't the walls be curved to the side?

Well, no,

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry to be this.

I'm so sorry to be this type of parent.

But could you all could you talk it all a little a little quieter?

I just finally got Horset to sleep.

Oh, okay.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Be prepared to kneel

before his eminence.

I'm a ship.

I can't kneel.

And also, I just I shouldn't.

I shouldn't right now because I did just give birth to twins.

Oh, right, you should know no no, you suggested.

Just don't go rock movie.

Look at Vino Neil.

Behold this normal, Tellurian-sized door to this giant room.

That's almost absurd.

I mean, it is smelly.

Watch it open and watch the bigness himself

enter.

Uh, okay.

Hey, gang.

What a trip it's been.

Yes.

Uh, you guys,

you had me down to Pete.

Yes, where are ya?

What's going on?

If you could just watch your tone.

Oh, absolutely.

I've had kids, so I get it.

Thank you.

I just don't want Bino.

Beano's very impressionable.

He'll imprint on anything, and I

I don't want him to pick up this language.

It's funny, you should mention.

What do you call it?

Bino.

You idiots.

It's called the Binocron.

I guess you probably also think that its only power is to grant wishes?

No.

Well, now,

he also takes 70%.

That's true.

Sort of a power move.

Oh, my God.

It's a power move.

Oh, absolutely.

Gang, I'm going to take the Binocron, which, by the way, is an ancient cosmic entity.

I'm just going to...

We knew that he was old.

Yeah.

And we're all into these, you know.

When you think about it.

Whatever.

I'm going to take the Binocron, destroyer of worlds, and hop through one of these portals.

Hey, Corps, can you portal me, buddy?

Wait, Cor Balevor?

Yeah, you guys.

Freedom, right?

Corp.

Balevor!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH enemy.

Also, I don't know if we're all freedom.

It was mostly a portal.

Well, it was mostly.

Oh, you did it?

Thank you so much, because now I've got these great portals and all this space magic, and it's amazing.

I'm on the other side of the portal, just to be clear.

Yeah, we get it.

Buddy, we know.

We know.

Thank you.

What?

The crows are still there?

Honestly, I deal with the crows because of the portals, but otherwise...

I don't know if I'm going to try to kill them.

It is.

I have a new skincare.

Don't tell me what to do.

Don't tell me what to do.

Okay.

Please remind me.

Do my guns work.

I think you ran out of ammo.

Do not worry.

Good day.

Whatever you were doing, ignore everything else.

I summoned you to be the fraud!

Huh?

Emperor Bundaloy,

you will not take Bino from us.

I'm literally doing it.

I will fight you.

He's already.

I'm walking through the portal.

Bye.

No!

AJ!

AJ, get the portal!

Okay, okay, I got it open.

It's like just a little bit.

It's like about the size of the recruit.

Get it wider.

Okay.

Wider.

C-53.

AJ!

Uh, no, it's just.

Oh, hey, Villman!

Hey!

Where are we?

Where is everyone?

I don't know, we got like transported somewhere.

My molecules feel weird.

We must have gone through the portal and lost the others.

Oh, no, those are like the smart and strong ones.

Okay, well, you don't need to put a fine point on it like that.

I do still have my dingle hopper.

Oh, good.

It's got some teeth marks in it, but otherwise it seems functional.

Alright, let's go get the Emperor.

Wait, where are we?

Looks like it's some sort of like station.

Are you gonna head to the uh weird ritual that's happening that the Emperor's doing?

Yeah, I mean, I I kinda want to, but I'm sort of like not super religious, so I'm probably not gonna go.

I will go and I will be backing.

Alright, yeah, no, we'll all we'll all go, Inforce of Droid, if that's what you wanna do.

We all go together!

Alright.

Let's follow these guys, right?

Alright, let's go.

Okay.

No, but keep up.

I'm trying.

Just get in my rope pocket.

It's faster this way.

Oh, a lot of snacks in here.

Okay, It's not.

Those aren't for you.

No?

Okay.

They're public to you and me at this point.

Did you hear the word snack?

Shhh.

Shut up.

Sorry.

I heard the word snack.

I don't have any snacks.

Why would I have any snacks?

Black, I bet that plane has snacks.

Why?

Yeah, just because he's cloned from you.

Yeah, I get that.

Alright, well, we're all going, and hopefully no one's gonna come up behind us and club us on the head.

Yeah, I was worried about that, too.

Oh, yeah, and ever since this Enforcer droid got back from Zaxid, it hasn't killed anybody.

It's been weird.

Please call me Kitty.

Oh, I brought it skinny.

I made an old painting of everyone who's in this room.

Yeah, okay.

I will never kill again because I am killing with these pancakes.

Happy business.

Alright.

Well, but the pancakes are gonna die for.

Once they die!

Oh, sorry.

This reminds me of Mamron's.

I wish we had a plan.

I wasn't gonna club them, I was gonna follow them to where they were going.

You can't club with a dingle hopper.

Yeah, that's actually the ideal use for it.

This pancake is true stale.

I don't think that's on the floor.

Alright.

Okay, you grab the stale pancake.

I'll use the dingle hopper.

Oh.

In retrospect, this is a very clear plan, and we sorta missed it for a while.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hey.

Kitty, kitty, it's us.

It's me, Pleck, remember?

I remember my two friends, my only friends, kitty.

Yeah,

yeah.

I don't make sausage as ass pizzas.

That's really great, Kitty.

Listen, I just need you to be willing to destroy a little bit more just one last time.

You want me to go deep inside to revisit the memories of the head.

Okay, well, when you say it like that, it's totally responsible.

You can never unkill again.

Okay, alright, no, that's fine.

You know what?

Then maybe just kind of stand guard guard and...

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Uh uh you are my friend!

If you wish to use my body for destruction, I will enter peace home where I will go to that beach and a tree!

Oh no!

Kitty, will I get you?

No, uh, kitty, no!

Oh boy.

Wait a second.

Wait a second, Nerman!

Look!

Look inside Kitty's head!

Yeah.

There's controls in there.

You could sort of...

I don't know, sort of like...

It's a Mac!

I mean, sorry.

It's a huge Mac.

I mean,

I think it could work sort of like that.

Oh, man.

I'm going to open the hugest can.

Whoa.

Wait, hello?

Sorry.

Hey, Dari, it's me.

It's AJ.

Oh, AJ.

Oh, thank God.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I thought I had the portal open, but I think I was just tripping Billy's, and I just didn't work out.

I think everyone split up.

Oh, I'm just dumb.

I'm dumb, Dar.

I'm just dumb.

AJ, it's fine.

It's fine.

We need to AJ, we just need to figure out where we are.

Okay.

And then we can find

the crew.

Okay, I'm gonna turn the light on.

Dar, that's fine.

But don't

do it myself.

Bah.

Uh-huh.

Sound it out.

Bar.

Barracks.

Barracks.

Oh, this is is where all the clints like me sleep.

What was that?

What was that?

Hey, what was that?

What was that?

What was that?

Hey, what was that?

What was that?

Cool, cool, cool.

So we're gonna turn around and we're going to have to now face a room full of clints that we just woke up.

Ajar, I don't know about you.

Yeah, but I'm ready to kick some ass.

You know, AJ,

I think I'm starting to feel my postpartum aggression.

Does horse head know how to fight?

I mean, no, horse head is a baby, but they are also fully sized and love to tackle adults.

Oh, wow, I've never seen so many clips at once ejecting their butt guns.

Okay, get ready.

Holy shut, that baby can fight.

Go, Horseshad!

Russia!

Oh, quit!

Focus all fire on the cutest one!

Do it!

Go!

Horse that!

No!

AJ, you jumped right from up with all those laser shots, just like every other person we meet in the Zix Squadron.

Yeah, I learned it from them.

Dar.

You've been shot through the heart.

Okay, I take

listen, you're dying right now, but I'm gonna...

I'm pretty, I'm gonna- I'm pretty obsessed with it.

It's a beautiful name.

It's very common, but it's really beautiful.

Horse head took out

so many of the so many of the clans.

I'd say we're about 50-50.

I mean, don't.

I think that's probably toxic if you start comparing yourself to your child.

I don't know.

I mean, I mean, we're both like

pretty

evenly matched.

I mean, they are basically a clone of me, so

Dar, I've seen things, incredible things.

Let me just do a quick wrap-up speech.

I've seen incredible things.

I've seen

the Nebulon off of Gondar 12.

I've seen a Clint push his butt gun half out and then back in.

And I saw a lava planet.

And that jucking rolled because I learned that

lava was also rocks.

But all these memories,

they're like based in rain.

They're like

based in rain.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

Where?

Okay, I know who we are.

I can smell it.

I mean, look outside.

Oh, my God.

This is Shrimp Island.

Shrimp Island.

Or at the time trade, Shrimp Island.

Hey there!

Welcome to Shrimp Island!

The greatest time share you'll ever have invested.

Pure kid?

No, that's my enemy.

Oh.

I'm Michelle.

Okay, wow.

Um, listen, Michelle.

We we didn't intend to come here as weird as that sounds.

No one ever intends to come to Shrimp Island, and they never intend to aero leave.

Oh,

no, we do intend to leave.

Our friends are actually.

Massage it?

Lotion for your hull?

Wow, that sounds really great.

It does sound great.

Uh, they just put a ship-sized leg on me.

I mean, we're gonna.

Do you the whole cruise back of the Planet Crusher Crusher.

We gotta go back and rescue them.

Nah, we were fine here.

I think we should just stay.

What are you talking about, Barge?

I was just acquitted of 150 crimes.

And let me tell you, come close.

I don't know if I'm innocent.

Okay?

I think it was a ballot box that was misused.

I think some people text twice.

Barge, we did.

There's no way to know that.

I voted twice.

Okay, so you did.

For each side.

So you voted four times.

I was I wasn't convinced.

I went to Carlot, you got a joining it?

Please love Shrief.

We love Shref!

Let's do it!

Please love Shrip!

We love Trip!

Let's do it!

We love Shrimp!

We love Shriek Trip!

Let's do it!

Let's love Tramp!

We love Shriek!

Bargie, we gotta get out of here for a number of reasons.

They're having fun.

This is all they ever want to do.

They always wanted to do adventures.

They're all having a gas right now.

Bargie, I don't don't want to call you out here on Trip Island.

But this is sort of...

No, what?

I don't want to make a phone call to a fellow shrimp.

No, I don't.

Spoiler.

Telephone's made of shrimp.

Ring-a-ding-bing.

Boom, boop, boop.

Just back up for like ten minutes.

Back up the condoline.

That's amazing.

They got coordinated on that so fast!

Bartie, we've been with you through so much, the ups, the downs, and you're not willing to help them now?

Do you know how long it'll take me to get back?

I don't even know.

It just seems very far.

All we can do right now is just sit down and relax.

So, uh, go into Plex's little tiny cabinet room, and underneath the box uses as a mattress is another box.

Uh, there's some sunscreen inside of it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Revolved though.

So I'd be like full of weird like...

You kept the sunscreen.

Look at this hyper-proton fuel you've been hiding.

I've been hiding, I was very aware that.

We can get back to the planet crusher crusher in time to save them.

Yeah, but why would we do that?

Barging.

Okay, here's the thing, okay?

I went through a crazy journey, alright?

I feel like I'm lost, you know?

And I'm just gonna stay here, just completely side over.

But Bargie, think about it.

What does Hollywood love more than a redemption story?

Hmm.

This could be the next chapter of the Bargie story.

Nah, they don't like me.

They're all over me.

Bargie.

Barge, you gotta go back to them.

Don't you wanna know how this story ends?

How does it end?

Only you can answer that question, Bargie.

Oh, but tell me, I don't know.

I usually don't take new parts until I've read the end.

Bargie, you're gonna have to write this one yourself.

Can I have a ghost write it?

I'm not really good at writing.

I'm saying that's a metaphor, Bargie.

I'm not saying you're actually gonna write it.

I'm saying whatever you do will become the end of the story.

As long as the Pesen, they don't take that much, but I still get my name off.

Bargie, there's no one's gonna option this.

Okay, can I still play myself in the story?

Absolutely, yes.

You're yourself in the story, Bargie.

Okay, who's played the yoga baby?

Every second we wait could mean terrible things for the crew.

We have to decide now.

Give me five good reasons.

Click Thaniel, Eugene Deck Setter.

AJ2884.

I just met him.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundaloy.

I don't know who that is.

Dar, you like Dar?

Yeah, I like Dar.

And Bino?

Be no.

Margie.

Are you singing with me, C53?

No, I don't.

You take the high, I'll take the one.

I'm not.

That's just not my range.

Margie, if you take this hyper proton field and we use some of P-Rock's smuggling roots, we might just be able to get back to Planet Crusher Crusher in time.

Take the high and take the low.

Hey, Norman, check it out.

Yeah, what?

There's a little display on the wrist of this armor.

It's a map to the whole area.

Hey, I'm gonna rotate this hulking droid.

It doesn't matter.

You just take my word for it.

There's a map on my wrist that shows where to go.

What does this rotating cannon button do, you think?

Don't press that.

Why would you press that?

No, don't stop.

No, let's go.

Let's go.

Listen, we just have to go this way.

I think they said there was some sort of ritual happening.

Yeah, a Sparks Knight ritual.

Do you think it's in there?

That could be.

Irvin Bundaloy.

Always.

Emperor of the galaxy.

Take the power of the Benacron as my own.

And I,

Kai Ralis, will have the honor of invoking whack sorcery.

That's what I'm talking about.

I will bind you to the Venacron.

Yes, and I, Bordoff, am the witness to sign.

Right, no, we know.

Take what?

Do you want to remember?

Bordoff.

Yes.

Like, you know, kind of stay in your lane.

Do you know what I mean?

This is sort of more of a ritual.

Heir?

We haven't.

In no way.

Okay.

If anything, Justin, my son, is going to be inheriting him right now.

Justin, daddy's busy.

Daddy's busy.

Justin.

Daddy loves you, but daddy is trying to integrate with an ancient cosmic entity right now.

You're such a nerd.

Justin, you cannot talk to me like that.

Whatever, I'm gonna go.

Core, I...

No.

For the thousandth time, no.

He's my little buddy.

He must be punished

Bordoff?

Yes.

No, you're not my son.

That would be so weird.

Can we just merge me with the Beanacron so I can get the ultimate power and I will become

the all-week?

Wow.

Does everyone...

What does everyone think about that?

Sounds good.

Really?

I don't like it if that's what it sounds like.

I mean,

the all wheat.

He goes, my last name is Balweat, and it's like super powerful.

You guys get that?

Yes, yes.

The rest of my council agrees, Bordov.

Just like, stand outside.

I'm head door guard.

Sure.

If that's what gets you to the day, sure.

Alright, guys, thank you so much.

Everybody here, I just really appreciate you.

Thank you for your feedback.

Anyway, alright, okay, let's get to it.

Yeah, I do.

Can we please start the ritual now, people?

Core?

Let's.

Stop right there.

What?

Nermit Bundaloy, put the bean down.

I don't have a bean, Nermit.

Yeah.

Who are you?

You look like a plant.

I'm the first plint.

My name is Plechthaniel Eugene Deck Setter, and it is my destiny to destroy you and reunite the galaxy.

No, hi, Council.

Yeah, so Council, what do you the all of each is good?

What do you guys think of Plecmanuel Eugene Dex that are kicking around?

I'm copying, not quack.

Drop the Binacron.

No, I don't think I'm going to do that.

Then prepare to feel the wrath of my dinglehopper.

Whoa, it's glowing.

Yeah, I don't, and I don't know how.

Corps, continue the ritual.

This won't take long.

It will be done by rule.

Oh gosh, I'm glad you guys are fighting in this secure, enclosed area and not that crazy catwalk over there.

Nerman, shoot those guys.

Okay, what are you doing?

Alright.

Look, then you'll join me on this catwalk.

No, let's just fight here, Roger.

No, we won't.

There are no railings here, and there's precipices on either side.

I don't know why we would do that.

Why el- Where else would we fight?

In the middle of this room, where it's sort of like an even plank.

This is better.

This is, I literally think it goes to an air duct.

I don't know where it quite goes.

It's just kind of cutting through the space.

If either of us falls off, it'll be, I mean, literally days before we hit anything.

I think what will actually, I'll be honest, when I've heard a couple of clints have fallen off, just kind of randomly.

And I think the thing is, it's so big that they fall, and then the gravity balances them out, so they just sort of hover.

So they fall and then die of old age?

What's is he still is he gonna be a part of this or

Nermit?

Yeah, I shot up all the sparks and it's like I'm out of ammo.

Except uh Cor who's uh behind like a force field or something.

Okay, well then, I don't know, moral support.

Onto another cat block.

Join me, Dex Center.

You're just how many more of these cat walks.

I mean, look around, there's a ton of people.

Yeah, there's quite a bit of it.

It's just this place is.

This place is just lousy with.

We're both moving so fast.

You're using the space well.

You're finding your life.

Bino was finding the life.

Bino, help me, okay?

Why?

You just woke up.

Beeta just been born.

Be no tired.

He's just sitting on the emperor's shoulder like a little bird.

The Beatochron is weak.

Once infuses with my whackness, it will be fully powered, and I will be the most invincible thing in the galaxy.

I'll never

let this

happen.

Yes.

Bordoff, do something about the lizard!

Oh, now you need old Bordoff.

Joe, come crawling back to Bordoff.

Say that I'm the heir.

Ouch, my son Justin is the heir.

Said you're a nerd.

Justin!

Daddy's on a catwalk fighting now!

What's your data password?

Justin!

It's Bermuda Nundaloy!

Are you serious?

It's an inversion of my name.

Is it within like an E or a

No, that yanker I talked to told me that it'd be more secure if I used numbers, so it's British

backwards.

AJ, stay with me, buddy.

Okay, AJ, everything's gonna be okay.

This is the end of the road for me, Dar.

If I can impart

one

piece of wisdom that I've gleaned.

How you get the gun up your butt?

No, what?

It's just up my butt.

Why are we?

I'm dying.

Don't make this about that.

I'm sorry.

I did.

I know.

This is much.

I should be far more reverent.

Dar, my last words are these.

I want you to see my face.

It's covered in base.

That's right.

Dar, just always remember to

lock and.

Why?

Oh, wait.

The tube is working again.

Oh!

Oh, yeah, I got shot.

And the tube was there over my heart.

And it was also the very thickest part of my armor.

Dar, I'm alive!

Alright, AJ, look, we have, we have to go find the other shots.

The best news is that the shot fixed my tube.

It sounds amazing!

It's just like new.

Oh man.

Oh, horset grabbed it.

Oh, they like it.

Yeah, I'm totally cool with it.

That's totally cool.

Cause it wasn't amazing.

Now we have to go find the others.

Let's go.

Alright, let's go.

Yeah.

What if you play like a spy picture?

Have you ever thought about being a a squeeze where do you play like a secret agent?

Yeah, yeah, what if instead of a secret agent, I was a small fish made of water.

I was a fish made of water.

Oh, I knew you, Marty.

My party was there right now.

Marty, please.

A fish made of water.

I'm going to go so fast.

I was like, I'm agent there.

I'm going to spin, I'm going to spin it, I'm going to spin.

I don't remember exactly

why, but it is so good, Marty.

Oh, wow.

Ask me any question you ever want to know.

I will answer you totally honestly right now.

Marty, of all the movies you've read, all the stars you read, what was the time where you were going to ask me?

Shark two.

Shark Shark 2.

It was the best movie I've ever done.

Oh my gosh!

Don't go!

I love Shark 2!

Wait, wait, see 53!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What if we

made podcast again?

You were on Quargie, that was the best thing you ever had.

Tell us about pop culture.

What's your favorite thing in pop culture right now?

My god, first episode, we're talking about pop culture and quarterly and see what you've heard.

Uh, a spot brought to you by uh hyper protocol.

Yeah, yeah, you like hyper protocol, you got lost as budget!

Oh boy, here's some sound effects.

Beepbo, poop, bop, beep, boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Our special guest tonight is our brains.

I don't love Time Theater, but I think that they've done the best work in the past and they should break up as a banana.

What do you think of the newest movie by Spaceship Spiel Ship?

Spaceship Spielship is such a great director, and I like that he's got no stage in his career where he's just doing stuff for him.

Oh, there it is.

I mean, it's clear and relaxed.

We all can see what's happening.

You think you can defeat me?

Kora Balevor is already doing the spell that will unite me with the Pinocchron forever.

None of I knock you off into this bottomless pit.

But I know you, Dexetor.

You value mercy.

You won't let me die.

Give me back Bino and I'll let you live.

Hand me the bean.

Guys, sorry to interrupt it.

Look out that window.

It's Bargie.

Going fast.

Oh no.

I can't believe the plate glass window in this throne room is so fragile.

Rod Rod damn, that's walk tambooey.

Why would you let him design this?

It's the aesthetic.

It's the, it's, it's the look and feel.

Back up to the

body.

AJ, star, horse hand.

Yeah.

The baby killed like 20 guys or

hey uh I just realized I crashed into a planet crusher crash ship.

Do I look okay?

C53, did you ride on the hood of Barbie the whole way?

He was like, I gotta like you while you were in hyperspace?

Right to the face, pirate!

Oh no!

Emperor Bundaloy,

you see all these people?

They're my friends, and that's what makes me fresh as hell.

Fresh as shit.

Fresh as juck, baby.

Are you workshopping your tagline?

I mean, a lot of them sounded bad, so I started over.

Oh, I know all about friendships.

I know about six best friends who want to keep you on the outside.

You and I are quite alike.

It's actually pretty different.

But don't you have.

It's almost numbers-wise, just the same, right?

There's like

me, C3C,

the clone, the no.

I mean, it's the same number of friends now.

Don't you feel on the outside?

Horse hat, and Bino, it is six.

Your job's a joke, you're broke.

Your love's life's DOA.

I, well, that's not.

I mean, yeah, his love life is.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear.

Papa!

What?

I'll be here for you.

Thank you, AJ.

Bino will save the crew.

No, Bino.

No.

chicken.

What are you doing?

What?

Vinocrun!

Why are you doing it?

And it is a creepy way to do it.

So,

why?

Why would you do it this way?

leado

Papa, you did it.

You defeated the Emperor and fulfilled your destiny.

Yeah, I did.

Guys, what is that noise?

Uh,

that could be good.

Oh, uh,

I was hopeful.

Oh no.

Okay guys, I think we gotta get out of here.

Oh wow, there's like a lot of clouds and red lightning.

Okay, we gotta go, we gotta go.

Barge, open the hatch.

Oh boy.

Oh boy.

Oh my god.

Feels like I'm fucking.

Margie, we gotta get out of here.

I know, but as you have hyper proton too, you need to take it a little easy.

Okay, I get that.

Okay.

C5.

Yeah, Papa, I almost died.

We're all going to to be backing up very slowly.

Take your time now.

Let's gingerly back out of this.

Okay.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Guys, look.

The Planet Crusher Crusher's collapsing on itself.

Whoa.

Oh, my rod.

Mystical energy is

super dense.

What happened?

So, wait, this is what you guys do during business.

This is Seward IT5, credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol.

Pop-up Clack Dexter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 Inquid Blismo were played by Jeremy Bent.

Dar was played by Ali Kokash.

Barge the Ship, Horse Hap the Doula, Susan Prosicushufer, and Michelle were played by Mujanzal Fagari.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy, Hastuli Winko, and Bordoff were played by Seth Lind.

AJ, Emperor Nermit Bundeloy, The Clints, and Beano were played by Winston Knoll.

This episode features appearances by Brendan Lee Mulligan as Corbail Vore, as well as production babies Manny Lind and Arlo Ford joining forces to play Baby Horse Hat.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynd and Alden Ford.

The sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Braun Studios in Brooklyn, New York.

Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by Faye's Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fund Network.

A special thanks to everyone who voted this week to determine the fate of the Bargerian Jade.

This concludes season three of Mission to Zix.

Thank you for listening.

You wept as we crafted the tragic tale of Jarjong, a Star Wars story.

Dude, like he forgives Darth Vader.

He's a still love you, Andy.

He gasped out loud at the shocking twists of Face Off 2.

Face is wild.

He takes his kids' face.

What?

We're writing an entire screenplay week by week on Storybreak Season 2.

Heaven Heist.

Hey, folks, Freddie Wong here with some exciting news about Story Break, the Writer's Room podcast, where three Hollywood professionals have one hour to spin cinematic gold.

We're shaking up our format by turning Heaven Heist, one of our favorite ideas we've ever come up with on the show, into a full screenplay.

Heaven Heist is an action comedy about a crew of misfit gangsters robbing the celestial bank of heaven.

Think a Coco meets Point Break.

Join us as we write this crazy movie scene by scene and get an inside look at the screenwriting process on our podcast, Story Break, every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.

We talk about movies.

Real life atmosphere is fantastic.

We're talking about music.

Books, books

Throw away the key.

I got one more.

Don't do the grime if you can't do the time.

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

You know, Bubba!

Also, while I was on the hyperprotein feeling, I'm missing it.

Also, I do the transmission if you want to take a listen.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Oh.

Well.

It's really an advertisement for drugs.

This is Captain

I've been using a series of interdimensional crystals I've taken from a digital nexus with the hopes that this transmission might glance upon a six-dimensional microchip and allow me to broadcast my voice outside the reach of the hated emperor.

To all those who would stand against the emperor, we need your help,

What?

Holy corp, they're alive?

Who are they?

It's a long story, AJ.

We need to get into contact with the park and CC right away.

Start scanning frequencies, see if we can find where they're broadcasting from.

That just seems like a lot right now.

Let's deal with it later, like next season.

Plays this Arcadarn, or what season are we talking here?