315: Scatting in the Shower [ft. Frank Garcia Hejl]

It is a time of fear and unrest.

Emperor Nermit Bundaloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher.

Crusher.

Now, Zema Knight Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to defeat whackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is Mission to Sink.

Can you see?

Can you see two?

Yes.

Um, how does my shirt look?

I just want to make sure it's nice and clean for today.

What says your shirt?

What's going on today?

Uh, nothing.

No, just I just wanted to.

You know, sometimes, AJ,

you gotta take care of your appearance, you know?

Yeah, for no reason in particular.

Pleck, yeah, uh, yeah, Bargie, what's up?

Go into your room.

Okay.

Inside your room, you know, that tiny closet that's full of my boxes.

Yep.

One of those could be, you know, a Gift.

Really?

Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay.

It's uh

new kind of species.

What's it gift?

Uh

be careful, Bob.

But you want me to go in and take it out?

No, I'm good.

I'm good.

No, no, no.

I'm good.

Thank you.

Uh, thank you, Bargie.

But not not the not the smallest box.

Okay.

That's a pure hyper proton fuel.

What?

For when I need it most.

Oh crap.

You're saying that's in the smallest box.

Pargy.

Pargy, why would you say that out loud?

Yeah.

No, C-53, you are in the midnight shadow.

Who knows what would happen?

Mr.

Robot Man, you gotta be careful about that guift in there.

Yeah.

I'm just saying, I should probably

hyper-proton fuel.

C-53, I will grab it.

I understand that.

I will grab the geifed.

Be careful, Papa.

We'll cover you.

Thanks, AJ.

Yeah, you got it.

What are you all doing?

What would you do?

It's just you're all creeping on tiptoe in the direction of Plex's bedroom.

Dar, I mean, obviously, C-53 moves silently, so, I mean, he's on tiptoes all the time.

AJ is a super soldier, essentially.

And I...

Yes, it's true.

Wow.

And I, as a, you know, certified Zima knight, I walk on tiptoe all the time to increase the space between my heel and the floor.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I think you've done that.

That makes perfect sense, Dar.

What about the next center?

I have an incoming transmission from Master Missions Operations Manager.

Carject Sitter, I can wrap that guy for Twitter.

Hello, Nermit.

Hey guys, how are you?

I'm terrific.

How are you?

Good, good to see you all.

Wow, thing looks standard?

Yeah.

Yep.

All systems nominal.

You're aboard the Bargerian Jade, the ship that we are on.

Great.

Yeah.

Wow, tiptoes.

Well, oh, cargoes.

Wow.

AJ's got the zoomies, but otherwise, we're all good.

Well, let's do a mission.

Great.

Our greatest delight in the universe is to undertake missions.

Let's do this.

Chose the right jobs.

And I am so excited because this is what I love to do.

Every day I love a few missions, and I can't wait to hear about this one.

What is wrong with everybody?

Darn, we're just trying to have a good mission, you know?

Let's do this.

Let's mission it up.

You guys are going to meet with an individual who is going to provide a precious piece of intel on a chip.

It's going to help us take down the Emperor.

Great, sounds good.

Great.

So, this is

Paula's banquet hall.

Great.

And you're going to need to go into the back room.

Okay.

At 0144 in the afternoon.

Punctual.

Love it.

Yeah.

All right.

There's parking out back.

Looking good.

Great.

This is the fastest we have ever gotten through a mission briefing.

I know, right?

We're getting better.

Yeah, Dirk.

Considering how long we've been a crew.

I think we we've just finally hit our stride.

Yes, good.

Yeah,

I think that we're all just pregnant with possibilities.

What I do.

Don't wake the geifed.

My fellow Sparks, it is I, Kaj Iniquitous, bearing ill tidings.

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Keep it whack!

Papa, do I have to keep this blindfold on still?

Uh,

yes, this is a diplomatic function of this planet.

It's customary to be blindfolded when meeting dignitaries.

Got it.

Why

do you all sound so confident with your blindfolds on?

For the same reason, we're all so confident when we tiptoe.

Hey, it's Paula.

Okay, we're gonna open the door, okay?

Where am I?

One, two, three!

What's going on?

I'm sorry, should I take my blindfold off now?

Yeah, dark, yeah.

Dark.

Take your blindfold off.

Should I take my blindfold off?

Maybe.

Take your blindfold off.

Put your blaster down.

There they are.

Dan?

Oh, yeah.

That's me.

Catch me.

Got you.

Wow.

I'm going to spin you around.

Oh, look at you.

Look at you.

Oh,

my goodness.

What's going on?

I'm so proud of you.

I'm gonna cry.

Aww, Dad.

If you cry, I'm gonna cry.

AJ, this is

your parent.

Yeah.

Hey, pleasure to meet you.

My name is

But you can call me Dad.

Oh,

pleasure to meet you, Dad.

Oh,

put it here.

Okay, all right.

Watch out.

My whole body.

My whole body.

So, Dar's dad is the contact that we're supposed to meet?

AJ, it was a surprise party.

We didn't tell you because we knew you couldn't keep the secret.

I kept the secret when you told me that you were scared of bongie fruit.

Okay, that's not.

Well, you obviously didn't because you just told everyone.

What is it about bonji fruit?

There, it's a it's a fruit with fur.

I don't like it.

It's got hair on it.

It's really the only fruit with hair.

Dad, it is great to finally meet you after, I mean, these years, these couple years with Dar on the road.

Oh!

I've heard so much about you.

Yeah, Dad?

Well, that's nice, Dar.

Dar's never mentioned you to me.

Okay.

Ha ha.

Yeah, well, it's great to meet Dar's friends.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Yeah, these are my friends.

Oh, that sounds like so much fun.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Oh, it's really great to see you.

It's so good to see you.

I miss you.

I hope you'll forgive us, but we went behind your back and contacted Dan about setting up this surprise baby show.

Yeah,

I asked Paula, I said, can we use your banquet hall for my little dar?

And Paula said no

at first because there was another event happening.

But I reminded Paula that we go back.

And then Paula said, well, you know, you're putting me in a difficult position.

And I said, Paula, come on.

Why do we give a shit about this?

We got history.

What was that guy?

Isn't my dad the best at telling stories?

Yeah, so anyway,

I'm talking to Paula.

Of course.

And then Paula says, I don't want to have this conversation anymore.

So,

exactly right.

Thank you.

Hey, pal, what do you work out with?

Me?

Yeah.

Uh, what do I work out with?

Mostly, I'm so glad you asked.

Uh, mostly a woodsaber.

Um, oh, must be nice.

Yeah, thank you.

I may I just say that you look as strong as Dar.

Uh exactly as strong as Dar.

Differences between Dar and Dad on a physical level are almost indistinguishable.

Indistinguishable?

Honestly, other than the voice, you're extremely similar to Death.

It's weird how you all look alike.

Super weird.

I wouldn't say it's weird.

You all look alike to me.

Hey, AJ.

What?

What are you saying?

No, you can't.

What are you doing?

Oh, here, let me throw me up in the air.

63.

Is that a child of Dar's species?

I think so.

They have the exact same height and weight.

I mean, they all look alike.

Am I crazy?

Or?

I mean, AJ, yes.

To a Tillurian.

Can I ask Dad, how long does it take for a young member of your species to go from birth to full size?

Oh, I would say about 30 to 40 seconds.

Okay.

That's me.

Yeah.

Alright, Dan, you're done.

It's my turn.

Throw me.

Alright, here we go.

Very dangerous.

Okay,

well, that's why you get tallest banquet halls.

Very high ceiling.

Yeah, very high ceilings.

Wait, let me join.

Let me join too.

All three of us.

Okay, now we.

Little dad get in there.

Okay,

What is it that you do?

Dark and we're part of a diplomatic team.

We have visits planets.

Sounds fishy to me.

You know what's a good diplomatic relation?

Your family.

That is a relationship you should diplomatize.

Dar,

they're off wearing small clothes.

What do they do out there, huh?

Drugs?

Parties?

Guns?

Violence?

rock and roll music.

Can I get you some punch, Ginny?

Punches.

Murders.

Drugs.

I'm just gonna

roll and rock music.

Books.

Hey, Dar, it's me, Doll.

Your high school sweetheart.

Wow, you look amazing.

Oh.

Wow, our chemistry is still there.

You know, if you stayed, it could have really been something, but it's too late now.

Oh, wow.

Who did you end up in a sexless marriage with?

Me, Doss.

Das, your best friend from high school.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

You know what I brought our

junior year yearbook.

Hey, Ruby, look at Dar's picture.

Oh, check it out.

That's sweet.

Isn't that amazing?

I remember that, Dar.

That's when you were going by norm.

Oh, yeah.

Always needed to be different.

I want a haircut.

Dar, I'm sorry.

Everybody doesn't look the same in this yearbook to me.

Thank you, AJ.

Dar, I have to ask you a question about this picture.

What are those wires running between each of your chest talons?

Um,

it's not terribly common here, but I had uh crooked chest talons

when I was a teenager.

Sorry, that was my fault.

That was your fault?

Because when I was carrying Dar to term,

I kind of was a little addicted.

To what?

To Paslar?

Okay.

You know Paslar?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hell of an addiction to Paslar.

It's a really popular mobile game.

Yeah.

Lying on your side a lot playing it.

Yeah.

And I, at the time, I thought, it's harmless.

You know, we didn't know back then.

We didn't know what we know now.

You know, Dad,

you know, I have really just, I really enjoyed getting to know Dar.

Oh,

and I just want to say you raised a really great kid.

Oh, that is so nice of you.

That is so nice.

Can I pick you up?

Me?

Oh, wow.

Yes.

Yeah.

You know, I think it's.

Oh, I dropped you.

Okay.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, that is.

That is a real treat.

Yeah.

You know, Dar has never thrown me like that.

Uh, you don't throw!

Well.

You've never thrown your friends.

No, it's because you always threw me.

Wow, I mean.

And it's our thing.

I know, but yeah, you gotta.

Dar, throw me!

Um, throw me!

Okay, okay.

Give it a shot, Dar.

It's not a test, but throw me.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

No, you got a little far.

Dar, you gotta go sort of straight up.

It's just of all the singular windows to be open in the banquet hall,

I had to toss them out that way.

That was my request.

One open window.

Hey, this kid landed in my truck.

Oh, thank you so much.

Welcome.

That guy's a real prick.

You know that?

You know that?

And you know what?

Chuck all ya.

Okay.

That's.

Oh.

Chuck all ya.

Oh, my goodness.

You know what?

You know what?

I'm going to kill you at X-Mars.

Tar,

you were serious?

Every X-Mars, someone dies on the planet?

Yeah, Dad is...

He's an ace shot.

Wow.

Dad is correct.

Wow.

Dad, what do you do for work here on...

Well, I don't work so much anymore since the accident, but...

Oh, okay.

I'm so sorry.

Well, you know, I didn't want to bother you.

I didn't want to worry you or anything.

What was the accident, though?

Oh, there was a giant blade.

Cut right through me.

What?

What?

Oh, yeah, huge blade.

You know, there was a ship taking off, and I guess it was just kind of, you know, not put together so well, and that thing just went.

Dad is being modest.

Oh, don't worry her.

Killed him.

He was dead for five months.

Yeah, okay.

It's not a big deal.

All of our medical professions to bring him back to life, and he's like, Don't tell Dar, don't tell Dar.

It's not a big deal.

We mourned him.

Dax!

He was buried in the ground.

Beautiful flowers.

Two pieces, two pieces, cut in twain.

We buried him in two places.

Okay, Dag, we get it.

Dax, why didn't anyone call me?

Hey, you were busy or out there doing whatever you're doing in your big old space with your fancy friends.

Yeah, I don't want to.

Okay, just because I left the planet doesn't mean I don't care about all of you, especially dad.

Oh, it's fine.

I just died for five months, and I was brought back by our best scientists and doctors.

Two patients we put them.

Dag, and I guess they miss me so much.

You know, I'm well liked around here.

They put me together.

Oh, Dad, I'm glad you're okay.

Oh, it's fine.

Well, I'm excited because you're a robot.

You're a robot.

When I was younger, I used to dream about being a robot.

Really?

Yeah.

Uh, plaque?

Yeah.

Do you think I'm a

bad

child?

No, not at all, Dar.

You're a great child, I think.

Dad died, and I didn't even know.

I mean, I think I have to move back home.

What?

No, Dar.

You can't.

We've come so far.

Yeah, but

I'm legitimately the only one of my species that doesn't live here.

Seriously?

Yeah.

It's just me.

I'm the only one who ever left.

Wow.

Yeah, that's a lot of pressure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Darn, it's pretty isolating for you, huh?

Oh.

Yes, you definitely could say that.

Like, all these people seem really happy, and they've all stayed.

Oh.

That one bought a house like recently.

Yeah, everyone here owns their own house.

No way.

Yeah.

Man, must be nice.

You don't own property, though, do you?

Well, not yet, but once my cryptocurrencies, you know, take flight, there's still time for me to turn this around before I have a family.

That is great.

That's wild.

Wow.

It's even better the second time, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very nice.

A journey.

Uh-huh.

So you work for Dar.

Uh, well, I work with Dar, yeah.

But you work.

Dar's the captain.

Uh, the ca well you work for them.

Well, the ship is sentient, actually, the Bargerian Jade.

Why is there a crew?

Well,

I like to think we're sort of just passengers, you know.

Why doesn't the ship just do the missions?

Well,'cause

Bargie couldn't...

I mean, Bargie's not really...

You don't.

But the ship can talk, right?

Right, but the but Bargie can't really do it.

So why isn't the ship just doing the missions?

If I was in charge,

I would just cut the crew out, just make the ship do all the missions.

Well, I think it's I mean, think about it.

Who do I need to tell?

Who should I write to say they should

just do the missions by herself?

Dang, just imagine a situation in which a ship has to, like, for example, you know, sit in a throne room or attend a parliament trip.

Okay, okay.

So, so you work for Dar?

Well, yeah, I mean, I would say we are co-workers.

I would say we're both right at the same level.

Well, if Dar left this planet, they better be working at the top, is what I have to say.

Why leave?

Well, the galaxy's pretty big.

You know, you can't just be in charge once you leave.

You know, there's a lot.

So you've been all over the galaxy.

Oh, well, yeah.

So you know there's no better place than this planet.

Why would you ever want to leave?

It's all here.

Um, yeah.

We got mountains here, a mountain ranging over there.

Yeah, very beautiful, beautiful mountains.

Trees?

Yeah.

Lousy with them.

Yeah, no, they're great trees.

A lot of planets.

Lakes and rivers.

Uh-huh.

Why would Dar, why would they ever want to leave?

Everything we have is a wild planet.

There's no need to leave.

Well, yeah, but there's a lot of stuff out in the galaxy, you know.

Not only...

Yeah, not only is there beautiful things to see and people to meet, but there's adventures to go on and there's things worth there's heroic deeds.

You could do all that here.

Okay.

You could have heroic deeds here.

That's what I kept telling Dar, but they wouldn't listen.

They wouldn't listen to old Dag.

Nobody listens to your name.

Have you always sounded like that?

Well, have you always said like that?

I don't know that it's always said like this.

Dag,

I gotta go.

I gotta go.

Sorry, are you

walking out of this?

Nobody walks out on Dang.

Who's ready for games?

Party games.

Party games.

Everybody loves that party game.

Party games.

Party games.

Everybody loves those party games.

Alright, Dag.

Alright, everybody, I got all the chairs in a circle.

You're gonna sit down in a circle.

see there's an envelope.

There's an envelope under every chair.

Everybody, get down there and get to head ahead.

I haven't played a party game in a long time.

This is gonna be exciting.

What name did you get, Pleck?

What name did I get?

That's the person you have to tackle before they tackle you.

Oh, no.

Who's Pleck?

Oh, no.

Who is Dap?

Get the fuck off, O'Keeffe!

Do you submit?

Oh, God, looks like I have you with gender on me.

My shoes aren't the way they used to be.

Oh, well, listen, Day, it's.

All right, I've got Gap.

Let's do this, Gap.

Oh, well, okay.

Let's do this.

Fine.

Okay.

Just putting my finger on your head.

Oh, it hurts, but I won't submit.

I will not.

Alright.

Let's baby shower this.

Let's do it.

Yep.

Alright.

I'm just gonna gently throw you across the room.

Right out that window.

Listen.

Listen, one kid lands in my truck.

Okay, that's fine.

Just a second.

You know what, Juck you?

Are you just hanging out?

Where else am I gonna vape?

Stop locking.

He dug right through the ground.

That's me.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Looks like we're supposed to wrestle each other.

Okay.

Um.

Bottom, just hit me, I guess.

Oh, I don't feel fully comfortable with this.

I'm only two years old.

My favorite toy is a carfundo.

This is a ruse, a hardcore ruse.

I've never been hugged before.

This game rules.

Oh, thanks, yeah.

That guy's pretty cool.

I've been with him.

Okay.

Hey, hey, Dar.

Yeah.

How is that party game, like, what is it, how is that related to the baby shower?

Finding your opponent and wrestling them to the ground?

Yeah, like,

why is that traditional in a baby shower?

Well, I guess there are lots of struggles that you will have with your child one day, and you know, you could win, or they could win.

Wow.

Yeah, that's a really powerful metaphor.

And also, obviously, when you reach full maturation in 30 to 40 seconds, it's either tackle or be tackled.

Yeah.

I guess that makes sense.

Yeah.

Okay, before we do another game, I think we should have some cake.

Woo!

Oh, okay.

Yum, yum, yes.

Woo!

Oh,

yeah.

One cake.

Here it is.

Master Pel, little boy.

That's right.

Hi, remember, I'm a girl.

We didn't forget.

I might be a cato waiter, but also my fists go on fire.

Yeah, they do.

Using the space.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Enjoy the cake.

Thank you.

Dad, um,

I couldn't help but notice that this is just a very specifically 19-inch

tall cake.

Yeah.

Yay!

Hi, Hi, Darn.

It's all like too much frosting.

It's me.

It's Nermit.

No,

that was evident.

Hey, Nermit.

Hey, and inside here is not just me, but my keyboard.

Alright,

let's get that in the.

What's this?

Let's get this into the PA, okay?

And let's see.

I got a microphone.

Wow.

How exciting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Obviously.

Okay.

Land of Cowbelt.

Oh.

Alright.

Dad.

Yeah.

Do you know why Nermit chose to hide in the cake and just didn't surprise me with everybody else?

Oh, I don't know.

So we ate the cake?

No, guys, why everybody?

This is a song I wrote for this occasion.

I want to thank everyone for making it out to the big event.

Dad and I are just pumped.

One, two,

three,

four.

Grow, broke, growing inside.

You, you, you is a tita-ta-tinier.

You you gonna pop out, gonna be just like you,

just like you.

Okay, show me how it's gonna be frosted.

This is the most disgusting song I've ever heard.

I got some frosting.

No, I did it.

Girl, girl, girl.

Yeah, yeah, Adrian, get off here.

Get off your once.

No, that's alright.

Okay, guys, thanks so much.

Did I miss my part?

Oh.

I'll keep playing.

It was mostly scatting.

I'll keep playing while you sing.

Take it, it, Dad.

Go for it.

Go for it, Dad.

Okay.

Woo!

Yeah, Dad.

Yeah!

Yeah, let it open it.

Shuck yeah.

Are you guys hearing this?

He's a scat, Dad.

Yeah.

There I go, there I go.

There I go, Rack.

There is literally not a better scatter than Dad.

Hello!

Characters within the scatter.

Oh, hey there, neighbor.

Oh, hey, what's going on?

Oh, not that much.

Hey, C53, can I talk to you for a second?

C53.

I just realized something.

Dar's dad is a goof.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I assumed that right away from his loose-fitting floral shirt and cargo shirts.

Yeah, I mean, I just, it's not who I would have pictured as Dar's parent.

But I gotta say, you know, with the singing and the stories that go nowhere, you know who he reminds me of?

Nermut.

Oh,

yeah.

Uh-huh.

Like, I feel like they're very similar people.

Yeah.

Just a little bigger and

more confidence.

You're being falling for people who are minding with their hair.

I think there's something there.

Hey, what are you guys talking about?

No, dad, nothing.

I think

I'll scat up there.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate this.

Where did you learn how to scat?

Oh, there's a college.

There's a university here that you can go for for them.

Hey there.

Oh, hey.

Oh, so good to meet meet you in person.

Yeah.

You seem so cool.

Yeah, I love the cake thing.

Right?

Isn't that funny?

I think it's really, I think it's really swell.

Yeah.

Hey, where'd you get that floral?

Where'd you get that floral shirt?

Oh, I ordered this from Zag's Floral Online on the InfoWeb.

Zag's?

Yeah, two-day shipping with the offer code.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a member.

Are you?

Yeah.

Look at this.

I have my card right here.

Oh, wow.

Okay, you got the plane.

Zaggy Boy.

Oh, you got the platinum.

Yeah.

You're in Zaggy Boy's member club, too?

Yeah, I'm a Zaggy Boy, alright.

Yeah.

Wow.

Hey, you want to do the Zaggy Boy shake?

Yeah.

Dad, get it, dad, dad.

Dad, get it, dad, dad.

Zaggy Boy!

An online shirt company has their own dance?

Oh, you don't know about Zaggy Boy?

No.

I was just, you know,

can I call you Dad, actually?

That's their name.

Oh, so.

Yeah, you could definitely call me Dad.

Cool, cool.

I mean, I just, like, it's so great to finally meet you because I, um, I mean, I hope I'm not out of line to say that

I'm gonna care for this child so much.

Oh, well, I would say that's pretty inline.

Huh?

You said, I hope I'm not out of line?

Yeah.

And I said, I think it's pretty inline.

Oh, cool.

Like my favorite type of skates.

What do you want me to call you?

Me?

Just, you know what?

Normally I ask for Master Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundaloy, but why don't you just call me Nermit?

Yeah, okay, because I'm not going to say the other one.

Okay.

Nermit.

Dad, I'm so glad that you're a cool parent.

I was nervous because, like, obviously,

as the father of Dar's child, I just.

So what?

As the father of.

I don't follow.

So I.

Okay, here we go.

Dar and I have

had a lot of sex.

Okay.

Oh boy.

Wow.

Oh nice.

I didn't know that.

Oh Rod.

And so Nermit.

Nermit, you don't have to.

You know, just as the as the father,

I keep saying that word, but it's.

But you're not the one carrying.

No, no, no.

Dar's carrying the child.

So then what the juck are you talking about, okay?

You know, I really like you, but no, I like you for the love of Rod.

Okay, Nermit, so um, I never really wanted to have to explain this to you.

Um

I thought, you know, you just kind of get get the idea, or no, I I don't pick up on hints.

So

when two people

juck,

it activates

something inside of the parent,

and as everyone on my planet is equipped with both female and male organs

we then self-procreate

Wow

and

I am the father and mother

congratulations

if you are curious about these

actual I'm actually gonna crawl back in the cake

oh yeah

yeah,

it's just a pile of curves.

Now you're just ruining the sides of the cake.

It's like he's burying himself in the sand.

Little butts sticking out.

I gotta tell you, I mean, how depressing must it be to be on a planet where everybody's the exact same?

You know?

The only people around you are the people who are like genetically identical to you.

Yeah, you don't.

You're not identifying.

I'm talking about a bummer.

You don't identify with that in any way.

Why would I?

Huh?

What?

Growing up with Mr.

Wasn't everyone the same?

Yeah, I mean, sure, we were the same height, same weight, same genetic material, same hair color, eye color, facial features, but you know, our voices sort of were a little different, and you know, we all sort of had different names for one another, so it's kind of a different situation than here.

Is it, though?

Okay, okay, here's the difference.

Okay.

I think it's a totally different thing because I, like, left the clinch and kind of do my own thing and

most of your clinics is just stiff.

Stay at home.

So this is like a it's like a different thing.

Yeah, this situation has nothing in common with your situation.

I'm glad you agree.

Yeah.

Also, I was sort of the alpha around.

It was always sort of apparent that I was definitely greater than that.

What is being the alpha beam to you?

Yeah, just like,

I know what's going on.

Most intelligent.

Battle ready.

My butt gun comes out faster than anyone else's.

Is this something Nicklins would brag about?

Well,

everyone,

everyone, I want to give a speech

to my Dar.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

You shut up.

Don't want to speak.

Choke you out.

Okay.

Oh boy.

Dar,

Dad.

I just want to say that, you know,

even though you are the only

being

that has left this planet,

you know, usually any parent would be a little disappointed in that, but that's not me.

I'm not disappointed.

I'm proud.

You know, there was once upon a time I wanted to get off this rock, be a robot, maybe.

I didn't do that.

I didn't chase my dreams.

I didn't have the courage to do that.

But, Dar,

you've done more.

You know, you read about many planets

and you think, oh, that's impressive.

But none of them are as impressive as you.

You're my star, Dar.

You're my star.

Oh, dad.

Come here.

Dad, for that being one of the shortest, most direct speeches you've ever told,

I still really liked it.

But if you wanted to ramble on for like 18 more minutes, I'd be happy with that too.

Okay, I'll do that.

Oh,

Darmu, just move it on to the

FTs.

Sure.

The guy's

get down.

No, not the gifts.

No, AJ.

Oh, she's a hundred seconds.

All those gifts.

So, yeah.

AJ shot up all the gifts, and then Paula asked us to leave.

So, you really didn't miss all that much, Bargie.

Yeah.

You know, honestly, I should just be doing the missions myself.

This is Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing Outro Protocol.

Papa Pleck Deck Setter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn.

Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Barge the Ship, Paula, Dab, and Day were played by Malujan Salfigari.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nero Bundeloy and Daz, Truck Vapor, were played by Seth Lynn.

AJ and Dag were played by Winston Null.

Dad was played by special guest Frank Garcia Hill.

You can see Frank perform on Saturday nights at UCB Sunset in LA with the sketch group Squadron and in the movie Scare Package coming out later this year.

Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at Frank Garcia Hell.

This episode was edited by Seth Lind and sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Donkey Jr.'s Puppy Palace in Brooklyn and Hetgum in Los Angeles.

Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening crowd narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship designed for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Vision to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

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Hey, Dad.

Yeah.

Maybe you could clarify something for me.

Everybody on the whole planet goes by a three-letter name that starts with the letter D.

Correct.

D-A.

Wow.

That's...

That can get maybe confusing.

No.

All right.

Good talk.

This lasagna is very good.

Yeah.

You know, you know, it's.

Do you know how lasagna is made?

Noodles and sauce.

Correct.

And then cheese on the top, right?

If you want.