312: Are You There, Rodd? It’s Me, Goerlich [ft. Monique Moses]

It is a time of fear and unrest.

Emperor Nermit Bundaloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher.

Crusher.

Now, Zima Knight Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to defeat whackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is Mission to Sync.

Um, paved black?

Yeah.

Yeah, what is it, Dark?

Um, you wouldn't have to have um any secret snacks around, would you?

Secret snacks?

You know.

Snacks that you're keeping a secret.

Because you hide food.

What does that mean?

When have I ever hidden food?

Okay, uh, one incident comes to mind.

You hid that sheet cake from all of us.

That was so much cake, and you had it all stashed away in in your room.

When was that?

On my birthday.

Of all days to hide a cake from someone.

The cake was in my room because it was your birthday.

Yes.

And then I brought it out when I lit the candle.

Do you guys not do that on your planet?

No.

Okay.

And we don't set them on fire.

Okay, yeah, noted.

I won't do it again.

I don't have any more cakes.

Okay, I'm just going to do a quick pocket check.

Get out of there.

It's a big bathroom.

I'm feeling awfully protective of all those.

This is my Zima robe.

There's Zima stuff in here.

Zima space.

That is

a little cake.

Very really.

The shorts are, yes, still Federated Alliance issue shorts, but these side pockets can carry any number of things.

So

not.

Cake?

Dart food.

Do you have cake in those pockets?

First of all, even if I did have food in my pockets, it wouldn't be just loose pieces of cake.

This is pretty rich coming from someone who's hidden an entire sheet cake before.

That was four Dar's birthday.

Don't hide five.

Papa, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I hide food.

Do you know that I can eat my pinky if I need to?

What?

What?

Yeah, they bred all the clints in case we're in a place where there's no food, we can always eat our pinky.

It's high in protein.

What do you mean you can eat your pinky?

I mean, do you want me to show you?

No.

Oh, yeah, I can.

No, no, no.

I mean, if you want to just

crack up.

Oh, AJ.

Does anyone want some pinky?

No.

Papa, come on.

Papa, you.

I mean, you hide food.

You probably want a little bit of this.

Guys, I don't hide food.

Does anybody want my pinky?

I mean, I'm just holding it like an idiot right now.

AJ, is it made of food or is it your finger?

Well, it's both.

Don't worry, guys.

It'll grow back.

That's the thing.

It'll grow back.

It grows back.

Listen, Dar,

why were you asking if I had secret snacks?

Isn't it obvious?

I've eaten all the food aboard Bargie.

You're still hungry?

You just ate 42 trays of lasagna like a couple hours ago on Zima Prime.

Yeah, and then I got aboard Bargie and ate everything that we had in storage.

Honestly, if you put hot sauce on something, it's delicious.

You can put hot sauce on anything.

Tell you what, when you have a being growing inside of you, then

I can judge you for how much you're eating.

Alright, I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm sure you're probably burning a lot of extra calories.

You gotta make a lot of calories.

I get it.

I've been hungry for a long time.

What?

I've been very hungry for a long time.

Who is that?

Bargie?

I fooled you.

You and it's me.

It's me.

It's Bargie.

What are you doing with your fool?

What's going on?

Bargie.

I want to make a very important announcement.

Oh, oh.

Okay.

I've had some time to talk to one of my little criminal friends.

They were like, Bargie, you need to download this this app.

Wait, little criminal friends?

Criminal friends?

You know, as you get older, you get a bunch of new friends.

Bargie, you shouldn't have any criminal friends.

Very deep, dark things that they've done.

Like, think of the most horrific thing

and then multiply it.

Anyway, look what I can do.

Hey, it's me.

You know,

the extra one.

I mean, I don't really know who this is.

Whoa,

Bargie, that is a fucking

guy out.

Okay, AJ, no, it's just Bargy.

It's a vocal modulation act.

Little criminals are like, hey, it's really fun.

It records everybody around you at all times.

Wait.

Downloads their information in the voices.

That sounds very legally questionable.

And then you could edit it and mix your own sentences like this.

Hey, it's me, Pleck Dork Sarter.

Always crapping in the bathroom.

Blah, blah.

That's not what.

I've never once said that.

I've never once said that.

Always pooping in the bathroom.

Papa, you're pooping in the the bathroom a lot.

Oh, he is C53.

I got this one too.

I've been practicing.

I've been noticing you and all the things that you say.

Here we go.

Oh, it's B C 53, a boys pooping in the bathroom.

Now that's actually, I don't think I've ever seen that trip.

I don't think that's right.

No.

I respect you too much.

Thank you.

Yeah.

We have an incoming transmission from Master Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundala.

Okay.

Hey, Nermit, what's up, man?

Hey, guys, I think I.

Oh, I suppose I bumped the button.

You bumped the call button?

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, Nermit, what are you rolling?

What are you rolling in that piece of paper?

Oh, a little...

Just a cigarilio.

Did you say a cigarette?

Sigarilio?

Yeah, that's like a cool name.

Nermit, you smoke?

I'm starting.

Why?

What are you doing?

I realized, like, I was so locked into my thinking on philem and nesting, and I was so focused on being a dad being a dad, but then the question is, what kind of dad?

And I found the answer.

I want to be a cool dad.

Nermit,

listen, you're,

with all due respect, you're not gonna be that.

Not possible.

No, that's what I mean.

So many kids are like, my dad's a nerd, or my dad is, like, I don't relate to him.

And I think if I do things like how I'm leaning in this hammock, kind of see how I'm very chill.

I don't.

Yeah, you look very uncomfortable.

It's not comfortable, but it looks chill.

And then things like smoking, or like I would say a curse word that I don't normally like, let's do a jumping mission.

You shouldn't teach a child to smoke and curse.

That's not a cool thing to do.

But hear me out.

Like,

I want to be the kind of dad where a kid is like, do you want to go steal skateboards with me?

Nermit.

Nermit.

Put that out.

What happened to organizing the scrolls?

Nermit.

And data management.

Nermit, you're supposed to be organizing the Zema society.

You're like, get on top of it.

Oh, absolutely.

We were not planning for you to absorb their culture.

Nermit, just call us when you have a mission, okay?

No, no, no, let's hang out.

I want to let's hang out.

Let's hang.

Let's hang out.

Nermit.

Yeah, well, I mean, I have a mission.

Let's do it.

I have one.

Do you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um,

bibbib-bib-bib.

Yes.

Here it is: RV2826.

Oh.

You know it?

I know.

What is RV2826?

All of the Zimas are talking about it, how it's just like this amazing, like gathering ground with such sweet energy.

It's mind-changing.

Big Turtle talks about it.

Kiarano talks about it.

And everybody, Little Boy,

the Zimas say that

when you get to the top and you see the view,

you're basically looking through Rod's eyes.

What?

And they're like, you gotta go.

Well, more to the point.

RV2826 is is on the Geps quest, which is, of course, all very significant.

What is that?

What is the Geps Galactic Ecology Preservation Society?

Are you not familiar?

Wait, Nermit, our mission is to go to a park?

Yeah.

What?

Bada boom.

And you're sending us there because your new stoner friends think it's an excellent place to hang out?

Exactly, Darget.

Nermit, we are being hunted by assassins sent by the Emperor.

And you want us to go to a galactic park?

Why do we have have to go here?

I'm confused.

How the juck is this helping our mission to defeat the Emperor?

Sometimes you just, I think the voyage is the destination, man.

Am I right?

Wait, what?

What?

Wait.

What did you just say?

The voyage is the destination.

Wait, the wait, hold on.

The voyage?

Guys, by the end of the strip, all of your minds are gonna be that blown.

Hold on, hold on.

like RV2 out of the middle of the middle.

Yeah, I think we're gonna have like an endless supply of vibes.

I think this Nermit bundaloy is the whack one now.

Yeah, I think you're right.

Nermit, I have to ask you.

I don't think I've ever asked this.

Yeah.

Do we have to?

I don't want to do this.

I mean, I might be real chill, but I'm still your boss, so yes.

Is the destination?

Yeah.

You're our boss?

Greetings, air travellers.

Oh, don't be startled.

I'm just a weary urchin boy, far from my home on gymnasia.

Only too far these edge and ran out of beard.

Anyway, why have you?

Did you know that on gymnasia, the thing we love most, well, almost as much as X-Mars, is stories.

That's right.

And on my humble journey back home, I've been reading a right good one.

It's called The Android's Dream by New York Times bestseller and Eagle Award winner John Scalzi.

See the Android's Dream?

It's a wild and woolly paper novel on interstellar diplomacy.

So a diplomat right creates a galactic incident when he kills an alien diplomat in like a super unusual way.

And then to avoid war, the government of his made-up planet Earth must find an equally unusual object.

A type of shape used in the alien races coronation ceremony.

Let me say, what a relief to take a break from scraping the chimnoids in the old 6 squadron to escaping to the fantastical galaxy of this wonderful book.

And you can read it too.

Just Just visit tourbooks.com/slash zix2 to see many ordering options.

And that's not all.

There, you'll also find links to two other amazing John Scalsey titles from Tor Books.

First, there's Fuzzy Nation, which is this extraordinary retelling of the sci-fi classic Little Fuzzy.

Have you heard of it?

It's good.

And then there's Agent to the Stars, a playful mushroom of science fiction and Hollywood satire.

All free books are in new paperback editions with new covers and new introductions.

Order them quick at tourbooks.com/slash zix2.

That's t-or-rbooks.com slash Z-Y-X-X.

Number two, safe travels with new friends and happy rich.

Wow, look at all these look at all these vehicles parked here.

Sorry about that.

We're just

standing in the way.

You deserve this spot for the night, but nice to meet you.

We're just walking through.

Yeah, we're

a lot of tourists here.

I've never seen so many child sentients on leashes.

I've not seen it.

Sorry.

AJ, get out of the firefight.

Sorry about that.

Excuse me, are you using that stick gun?

I'm just collecting firewood.

No, no, no.

This is a very...

This is an ancient weapon.

It's a dingle hopper.

Okay, but does it burn?

Is it dry?

Yeah, I certainly would burn, but you should definitely burn.

AJ,

yes, sir.

Sorry, Pleck doesn't like to share.

Everything that's his stays his.

Okay, that's not

a food hider.

Alright.

AJ, let's move on.

Dar,

let's find some place to get you some food.

I keep hearing that rumbling, and it's kind of freaking me out.

Yes, luckily.

RV 2026 is a holy stuff, Rister.

I mean, if you could just reach into one of your pockets and hand me something to tie.

You don't have any food.

You wouldn't have to endure my rumbling tummy.

What's in this pocket?

Listen, let's just go in and we'll all buy something and then we can all have secret snacks.

Alright.

Hey, y'all, can I help y'all?

Yeah, actually, thank you.

We're just looking to pick up a couple snacks.

Oh, God, good, because I have every flavor of sun chip.

Oh,

wow.

Harvest cheddar,

original,

harvest cheese.

Wait, harv.

Harvest cheese?

Yeah.

Why with those?

It doesn't matter.

I'm going to take both.

Uh, listen, though, we're just swinging through.

Uh, you know, we've never been to this park before.

Um, it's really nice.

Oh.

A lot of travelers here.

Welcome.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You know, it's nice to be on a galactic park because all kinds of people from all walks of life are here to see the mountain view.

Sure.

You know, the one and only mountain view.

Yeah.

A lot of motor homes here.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know the planet's called RV2826.

Yeah, I just thought that was sort of

coordinating.

No, it's very literal.

RVs 28 feet to 26 inches are allowed here.

Wow.

Yeah.

That covers a pretty wide range of motorhomes.

Very tall RVs with very, very short, small RVs.

But yeah, you guys just here for snacks?

Because I also do blessings.

This is also a church and a convenience store.

Wait, what?

Yeah.

Lots of tourists come in and they want to make sure they are blessed up for their trip.

Wow.

Wow.

What is your name?

Gurlik.

Gurlik?

Yeah.

Well, it is a pleasure to meet you.

I'm a priestess.

Sure.

Yeah.

I really just live

to serve, to bless, to restock bebops and zoozoos.

Sure.

Where are the bebops and zoo's?

Oh, they're just down that aisle there.

Gotta get me a couple hundred of those.

Okay.

Yeah, girl, like,

how did you become a priestess?

Oh, well, I met Rod at a concert.

You met Rod?

Yeah, he is a very chill dude.

And also a deity.

Right.

But more chill than deity.

Right, sure, sure.

Mm-hmm.

And he was always looking for followers.

You know, and I was like, I'll follow you.

And I did.

And then he was like, you won't be a priestess?

And I'm like, heck yeah.

That is pretty chill.

Yeah, it is very chill.

It's really great.

Darn, you're really making your way through some of the ice cream.

Why do you feel the need to announce that to everybody?

I was just like, this aisle is sort of slick with ice cream.

I don't know.

This isn't your aisle.

Stay in your aisle.

Girl, like, are we allowed to start eating the food in your store or do we have to wait until we've paid for it?

Oh, you have to wait till you'll pay for it, honey.

Understood.

I'm just gonna have to.

Oh, no.

Sorry.

I'll just cook.

Okay, no, Tar.

My good woman, my good woman, here to be blessed.

Oh, welcome, welcome.

So you're gonna do seven hail rods and um

a lighter,

newspaper, just a couple of greeting cards.

Hail, hail rod, oh hail rod, oh hail rod, hail rod, and hail rod and hail rod.

Okay, that's for it, Kroon.

You're blessed.

Get out there and go see that geyser at the top of the mountain.

Okay, thank you so much.

I never a child, but I'm gonna be good on leash.

Oh, yes.

All children must be on leashes.

Sure.

Yeah.

Uh, Grillik, just a quick cue for you, quick question.

Um,

Papa, no offense uh but if i wanted to leave the zimas and join whatever you're into how would i do that oh really okay yeah that's great we're always looking for new followers oh that sounds interesting yeah you're just gonna leave the zimas i'm just keeping my options open i'm just like spiritual you know i'm like the best at being spiritual i just like when it comes to spirituality i'm like yeah Oh, wow.

Yeah, no, you can definitely join.

Just have to put on this apron here and work here three days a week.

Oh.

Yeah.

Wait, but being a priestess involved working at this convenience store?

Mm-hmm.

Uh

priestesses.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know.

Um, what?

Yeah, what is it?

I just, um.

I gotta ask you something.

What is it, Tart?

Can you please move aside?

What I'm standing up against this aisle.

Yeah, but there's just a whole array of powdered donuts behind you.

Tart, you need to slow down a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He was blocking the donuts.

Why are we moving?

Why are we moving?

I mean, how else are you gonna get around the park?

Whoa.

It's a very big park.

Is this store on wheels?

It certainly is, son.

Because this is the only store on RV2826.

Wow.

So

your store just travels around the planet to where all the tourists are.

Sure enough.

Does.

You guys here to see the mountain?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Because when you get to the top of that mountain, there is a view there that is.

Oh my goodness.

Is the sky blue?

I mean on some planets,

is water wet?

Sure.

Water's wet everywhere.

Water's wet, yes.

And that mountain view is a view to behold.

Also, there's a geyser on top of the mountain.

Wow, that must be really nice to be around such natural beauty all the time.

I thank Rod every day for the opportunity.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Do you need ice?

Because we have bags of ice at the back of the store.

Yeah, we could use a couple bags of ice.

Right.

Think of the top of my ice cookie.

Yum, yum, yum, opening up the fridge and

darn!

What are you doing?

Are you okay?

I mean, I'm fine.

Dar,

what are you doing interrupting my feeding?

Dar, why are you in that refrigerator?

Oh, you know, just keeping it cool while I'm down a couple of gallons.

Would you mind?

I think my iced tea is on your.

I don't mean to be rude, but there's nothing here for you.

It is iced tea o'clock.

Okay, I didn't know that was a thing.

I've never heard of that.

I do not have my iced tea every o'clock.

Do you know what happens?

You get thirsty.

Oh, wow, she just deflated like a balloon.

Garlic, garlic, is it is it time for the noonday sermon about the view?

Oh, it is.

Come on, man.

You give a sermon from inside the convenience store?

Yes, we have several devotees who come in every day at around noon.

It's time for the view!

I'm just gonna crouch near the first aid section.

I heard this was worth going to see.

I like that she gives her opinion about the view.

Yeah, I don't like being hassle-backed, but I think her sermons bring me a lot of joy.

Behart,

she's the Sherry Shepherd of the flock.

During the sermon of the view, she gets rid of all the evil inside of you.

This evil inside of me today, I can't help myself.

I'm gonna go crazy.

All right there, calm down.

Has this guy come here before?

Oh, every day he's here.

He's here every day.

Every day he says he's gonna go crazy and he's fine.

Sounds like maybe he is crazy.

No, he just needs a little more rod in his spirit.

Disciples, it is so lovely to see you.

The word of Rod.

Oh, yeah, just a quick little moment.

Like some 800 holo film?

Oh, we do.

Here we go.

That is 16 prune.

Yeah, no problem.

Alright.

Disciples.

There are things in our life that we find.

Sorry, you're at a Zuzus?

Oh, Zuzus.

You can find them in the back hall.

I already checked.

Somebody ate them all.

I had just fully stocked them.

How could someone have eaten up a Zuzus?

Or...

Err.

I don't know.

Dar, dar.

Maybe we should check Plex pockets.

I don't have...

I don't have any Zuzus.

You've got a lot of Zuzu on the left side of your mouth.

So far, this sermon is experimental.

Disciples, there are things in our life that we find to be an obstacle.

Am I right, disciples?

The evil side of you that wakes you up every morning and it's like, join the wax side.

Yes, that.

But if you have the Lord rod in your heart There's no mountain that you can't climb and get to the top of and see

the view

So you said with the help of rod yeah there ain't no mountain high enough

Yeah, it's true.

Yep, but is there a river wide enough?

Oh Dart you alright

Dart you don't have to throw up the candy.

We'll just pay for it.

Oh, oh golly.

Are you she looks like she is choking.

Oh, darn.

I can, I can help you.

I can help you.

Everyone, stand back.

She doesn't need medical attention.

She needs broad.

Okay, it's just

gonna go out of here.

Okay, do you see this medallion around my neck?

I need you, the robot one.

I need you to take this medallion.

All right, I want you to turn it clockwise twice, turn it counterclockwise once.

Great.

Awesome.

Contact emergency services, I feel like

you should be done.

You

go to the back there, grab me several different flavors of sun chips.

You got it.

Cool.

What does that have to do?

You, pink one.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to connect to Source Energy.

I'm going to connect to Rod himself.

What?

The Rod?

The Rod?

Just hold a second.

I'm going to give him a little call on this cell phone here.

CP3.

I think Dar is in real trouble.

I completely agree.

Robbed.

Yeah.

I need your help.

I have a person choking in the middle of my store.

I think so.

Did you do it, Robot?

Alright.

Alright.

How you been, by the way?

You know, I'm good.

I miss you.

What?

Talk to Kerill.

Oh, Tiffany.

Tell her that I am excited for her bridal shower.

I cannot wait.

What?

Oh, fantastic.

Alright, I gotta go save this person's life now.

Thanks, Rod.

Okay, so we are connected via medallions and

you are saved.

Do you see that is spirit right there?

That is a mixture of spirit and technology that saved your life.

Wow.

There's nothing you cannot overcome when you have Rod in your heart.

He's there to help you.

He's also dating a wonderful woman named Tiffany and they are

They are the sweetest couple.

I cannot wait to go to the bridal party.

And that is what life is about.

True, I'm really happy to get that cruise.

It's wonderful.

I got some chips.

Oh, I'll have some of those.

Okay.

You know, they fold light.

I think you make those chips.

Yeah, they're chips made of suns, right?

Every bag's got at least five suns.

Yeah, it says it on the bag.

So, are you guys gonna pay for all these snacks?

Yes,

I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a different from our face cheddar.

Whoa.

Gerlic.

Mm-hmm.

Look at this.

There you go.

Papa, we're on the top of the mountain.

What?

Look.

Look out the windows of the convenience dude.

Papa, you thought that we weren't moving the whole time.

And we were moving.

And you know what that means?

Uh, the journey is.

You're a dumbass, is what I'm saying.

What?

You didn't know that we were moving.

You're a dumbass.

We've been moving this entire time, but you didn't think we were.

I didn't think we were.

I didn't know.

I don't.

But do you just see the lesson?

You're a dumbass.

I think the lesson is that the journey is the destination.

Okay.

It's kind of a spifty-fifty spot.

Everyone, just look at at this for you.

Tell me what you feel in your heart of hearts.

I feel it.

Like, there's something inside of me.

Like, Rod is speaking to me.

Rod is telling me to do things.

Rod is saying, get rid of the big one who craps in the bathroom.

Oh, no.

Get rid of them.

Get rid of them.

I have to do it.

I need to do it.

Rod told me.

No.

Rod told me he'd do it, and then we'd hang out.

We'd hang out.

Okay, we want everybody to calm down.

I've got this.

I'm a Zima warrior.

Hey, listen, buddy.

I don't know who you think you are, but me and my noob are gonna take you out.

I'm AJ.

Get ready to meet my dinglehopper.

What?

It's what it's called.

This is sick.

I have a gun.

The town has got a lot of strength.

Not in the name of Raw.

You saved all of us.

Durlink did exactly the same thing that 7-8-9 did.

She jumped horizontally in front of all of us and absorbed all of those shots.

She really, uh, 7-8-9 this one, right?

Don't verb that, AJ.

I could not have your blood be on my hands and in this convenience store.

So kind to sacrifice yourself.

I just

everything's going black.

Very bad, AJ.

Just know that I did it for you, but I also did it for me.

All I've ever wanted to do was be of service, whether it was

selling people taquitos that have been grilling all afternoon, or

giving them, you know, hope for a spiritual connection.

Two equally important things.

You did it.

You did it.

You brought so much hope and inspiration to people.

Taquitos.

And Taquitos.

These taquitos are delicious.

Just stop eating.

Just stop eating because there'll be no one there to restock.

I'm sorry.

Are you all shaming me for being hungry?

No,

it's just hard.

Gerlick is dying right now.

Gerlick, I've given the ultimate sacrifice my life.

Truly, Gerlick, Rod shines through you.

Oh, thank you.

Please, Rod bless you.

You guys do one thing for me.

Absolutely.

Anything.

You take this cell phone,

and will you call Rod?

Right now?

now, yes, please.

Of course.

Oh, there's actually three rods in your contacts.

Which one?

Which one is it?

Do the one with two D's.

Okay.

I bet you didn't know Rod had two D's.

Wow, we actually didn't.

We didn't know that.

No one's ever asked.

It has two D's.

Oh no.

It's kind of of voicemail.

We're out on a sweet, sweet, sweet, hot, hot, hot date.

Sorry.

That's okay.

But hey, before you leave a message on our feet, because we're using our terms now, we've progressed in our relationship.

Listen to a Lou Diddy.

Oh, they're gonna sing a song.

I'm just gonna hang up.

No, no, this is what I wanted to hear.

The song.

All right, Rod.

Roba, robber, rod, love, tiff.

T-t-tiff-t-tiff, love, rod.

Ta-ta-t, Together we are.

Together we are love.

Together we are love.

We are

hearts.

This is their.

And then it ends abruptly.

This is their outgoing voicemail.

This is their outgoing voicemail.

The most beautiful together.

Filled with the spirit of love.

Now I can die happy because I know Rod and Tiff are cool.

Well, I

ow.

Her last words were: Rod and Tiff are cool.

I didn't think that would have been it.

Robot Man, Papa, Dar,

look at the tattoo I see on that crazy guy who I just shot a bunch of.

It's an assassin's guild.

Somehow he knew you were coming here.

He just waited around for us to show up.

If you just walk a few more yards, you'll see the view.

Alright.

Thank you for

watching.

It was a recommendation, was her last breath.

Wow.

You know?

Yeah,

it's a good view.

It's pretty nice.

I know that

the journey was the destination, but the destination was pretty good too.

I'm stepping on my 26-hitch RV.

Oh, my God.

I am so sorry.

Are you really?

Oh, you're stepping right on my

I'm so sorry.

It really is.

It really is.

Hey, hey, can you hear me?

It's me, Clarissa.

I'm inside Cutting the Blah, but I have something super important to explain.

There are more than 30 gyms in here, but the gym I manage has the most amazing website of them all.

Because I built it using Wix.

More than 150 million people use Wix for their website.

I don't have to explain it to them at all.

But if you're not using Wix, here's the deal.

You can start and publish for free.

Choose from over 500 stunning templates and change, customize, or add anything you want.

My gym site is so wicked awesome with sick design features and built-in apps.

And every Wix website is optimized for any device.

I don't know how the other gems make their sites, but they're honestly like meh.

I'm not judging.

I'm just explaining.

Anyway, here's what you should do.

Build a Wix website of your own today for free.

And if you go to Wix.com and use the coupon code ZIX, you'll get 10% off any premium plan, which gives you more storage, a free domain for a year, and much more.

That's wix.com with offer code ZYXX.

Sometimes words that sound the same are spelled differently.

Wix.com, code 6, for 10% off any premium plan.

Creation without limits.

Unless you're in a blob,

in which case the bob edge is the limit.

Wow, I just thought of that.

Archie, what is that noise?

It's another shipment.

Wait, is that is that a process server?

That's okay, but I have another voice I can use.

No, but if you say yes, will it serve you papers?

Don't worry about it.

They're not gonna serve me papers.

Uh, okay.

State your name.

Nermin Bundaloy, the Emperor, but also a ship, because I'm doing that now.

It is a very good.

It is very excellent.

State your purpose.

Stay your name.

Ship of Emperors.

Why don't you find your purpose?

I've never thought of that before.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Emperor and him.

That's it.

Yeah, not Bargy.

I will now return back to the Planet Crusher Crusher and let Emperor Nermit Bundaloy know.

That's the ticket.

Go now.

Goodbye.

Alright, that was great.

Good job, everybody.

That was an uncanny impression.

That was

very eerie.

Oh my rod.

I can't believe that worked.

Look.

Look, if you could get a little more cuts.

just taking Rod's name and game.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm sorry.

We watched a miracle.

Yeah, it's true.

It's true.

But when she was dying on the floor of that convenience store, where was her rod then?

Where was her rod then?

Comforting her through someone.

It was his outgoing voicemail message.

Yeah, he was on a date with Tiffany.

Rod works in mysterious ways.

Okay.

It's not for us to know Rod's will.

Man, you really came all the way back around in that C-53.

Puppet Exeter, I have an incoming transmission from Master Mission Operations Manager Nermit Bunglow.

Okay.

Hey, Nermit.

Oh, hey, guys.

Well, Nermit, we can say that we saw the view and honestly,

it was amazing.

It was amazing.

You guys chilled.

I don't know that I'm relaxed.

Okay.

You know,

I felt better.

Yeah.

What's all that smoke in the room?

No, I'm just doing like a cleanse where I'm just burning these pine branches and getting getting the steam

and smoke inhalation is a great cleanse.

It doesn't feel good yet.

I don't know if I'm doing right.

I'm it's

trying to

say, you are too impressionable.

You just put yourself in these situations and you get carried away and it's

Nermit, you have a need to please, but it makes you vulnerable.

Yeah, okay.

I just I

want these seemas to like me.

Yeah, that's it.

That's what I'm talking about.

I just want to I want to be me and be cool, and it feels like those things are not the same thing.

Uh, yeah, they're not.

Yeah, Nermit, this constant worrying about about how cool you are is extremely uncool.

Ah, darn it.

Nermit, do yourself a favor.

Have a cigarillio.

No, Nermit, you don't have to.

Oh, you can be like me and smoke a clone.

Much worse.

This is Sea Red IT5.

Credits and Attributions droid commencing outro protocol.

Papaplech Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

Dar was played by Ali Kokash.

Bargie the Ship, Tiffany, and the Zealous Assassin were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundaloy and Rod were played by Seth Lind.

AJ was played by Winston Null.

Gurlik was played by special guest Monique Moses.

Monique is a Canadian-born Brooklyn-based actor, writer, and comedian.

TV credits include Dezus and Mira, Broad City, Full Frontal with Samantha B and digital shows for IFC's Comedy Crib and Comedy Central.

She performs every Saturday night in NYC with Airwolf at UCB Subculture.

And you can follow her on all social medias at Nutella Cartel.

This episode was edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Braun Studios in Brooklyn, New York.

Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening curl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission Disix is a proud member of the Maximum Bun Network.

We are the host of My Brother, My Brother, and Me and now, nearly 10 years into our podcast, the secret can be revealed.

All the clues are in place, and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin.

Embedded in each episode episode of My Brother, My Brother, and Me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big, beautiful blue world of ours.

So start combing through the episodes.

Uh, let's say starting at episode 101 on.

Yeah, the early episodes are pretty problematic, so there's no clues in those episodes.

No, no, not at all.

The better ones, the good ones, clues ahoy.

Listen to every episode repeatedly in sequence.

Laugh if you must, but mainly get all the great clues.

My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

It's an advice show, kind of, but a treasure hunt, mainly.

Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps, My Brother, My Brother, and Me, the hunt is on.

Well, Alexis, we got big news.

Uh-oh.

Season one, done.

It's over.

Season two, coming at you hot.

Three years after

technically almost four years.

All right.

And now, listen, here at Cana Pet Your Dog, the Skinner Shit Podcast.

Our seasons run for three and a half years.

And then at season two, we come at you with new, hot co-hosts named you.

Hi, I'm Alexis.

And I also am on the field trip, dog tech.

Yeah, dog news.

Dog news.

Celebrity guests.

Oh, big shots.

Will not let them talk about their resume.

Nope.

Only the dogs.

Only the dogs.

I mean, if ever you were going to get into Can I Pet Your Dog?

Now's the time.

Get in here every Tuesday at maximumfun.org.

MaximumFun.org.

Comedy and culture.

Artist owned.

Audience supported.

Wait, hold on.

I'm trying to get get Germit's voice.

Hold on.

Let me try it.

Okay.

Hey, it's me.

I'm a tiny little dummy.

Oh, am I a lizard?

Am I a stupid bird?

I poop.

And when I do, it's in the bubba bubba bathroom.

I'm a dummy.

Can I just clarify?

I was not saying that.

He was saying that himself.

Lawless.