308: One Wedding and a Funeral [ft. Justin Tyler]

Speaker 1 Hey Zixheads!

Speaker 1 Don't forget, we have a choice selection of merchandise including t-shirts, art prints, pins, and koozies at topatico.com, including our brand new shirt design featuring everyone's favorite defected clint.

Speaker 1 Show the world you're the fan who's sort of the most into AJ by visiting topatico.com or following the link on our website, missiontozix.space. Lock and load.

Speaker 2 It is a time of fear and unrest.

Speaker 5 Emperor Nermit Bundaloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher.

Speaker 6 Crusher.

Speaker 2 Now, Zima Knight, Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to defeat whackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

Speaker 8 This is Mission to Sink.

Speaker 8 Pop a decker. Uh, yeah.

Speaker 9 I'm ready for a lesson in the space. Oh, um, great.

Speaker 9 Great, yep.

Speaker 10 Uh, seems like now's as good a time as any.

Speaker 12 Here, I'm just gonna grab some of these uh utensils over here.

Speaker 13 Uh-huh. And just, I want you to.

Speaker 10 Can you turn off the cameras and your helmet so you can't see anything?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah, sure.

Speaker 15 Whoa.

Speaker 16 I just want you to, I'm just going to throw these.

Speaker 17 It's really dark in here.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I'm just going to throw these forks at you and try to catch them. Try to dodge or catch them sort of as they come at you.

Speaker 18 Wait, but I can't see anything.

Speaker 16 Well, they see exactly.

Speaker 19 That's you have to reach out.

Speaker 18 What kind of dumb test is this?

Speaker 16 Okay, that's.

Speaker 18 You're just gonna throw cutlery at me?

Speaker 17 What's going on?

Speaker 16 You have to use all of your senses outside of vision, try to reach out with your feelings or your

Speaker 18 space.

Speaker 21 Where are all the spoons?

Speaker 23 I'm holding.

Speaker 24 Do you need one?

Speaker 21 Well, yeah, how else am I supposed to have my go-gurt? Okay.

Speaker 25 Isn't go-gurt sort of designed not to

Speaker 21 when I'm this size? I need a spoon to eat the go-gurt flick.

Speaker 25 Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 26 Okay, here you go.

Speaker 21 Why are you hoarding all of the cutlery?

Speaker 10 I was gonna throw some at AJ.

Speaker 21 Oh, carry on.

Speaker 10 Okay. Alright, so AJ, turn off the camera.

Speaker 27 Okay.

Speaker 28 Here it comes.

Speaker 6 Ow.

Speaker 16 Now you have to try to.

Speaker 29 Ow.

Speaker 16 Now you have to try to avoid it.

Speaker 21 Does it actually hurt? You are wearing armor.

Speaker 18 I mean, it's more of like my pride.

Speaker 31 Hey, where are my spoons?

Speaker 16 Bargie, I'm sorry.

Speaker 21 Do you need a spoon?

Speaker 31 Yeah, I need a spoon.

Speaker 16 Okay, how do you

Speaker 13 what?

Speaker 31 How am I gonna eat this go-gurt?

Speaker 16 I don't know, Honestly, I don't know how you'd eat it with or without a spoon.

Speaker 17 Can I turn my eyes back on?

Speaker 8 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 27 Keep them off just for a moment, AJ. Because maybe the spoons is too much.
Or put a font to stand in front of you.

Speaker 28 Okay.

Speaker 28 I'm just going to tap on your helmet, okay?

Speaker 27 Then you're going to try to dodge me tapping.

Speaker 6 Alright.

Speaker 21 Oh, he's down.

Speaker 14 He's down on the ground.

Speaker 25 AJ, I gotta say, I sort of feel like your first step in learning the space is to learn that, like, just because you're wearing armor, you don't have to just stand in the way of everything.

Speaker 25 I feel like your armor has inured you to the experiences of life.

Speaker 20 Should I want to get naked? Is that what you're asking me to do?

Speaker 35 Really? That's not me.

Speaker 36 I'll do it. No, please don't.
I'll do it.

Speaker 21 Wow, he did that so fast.

Speaker 37 This all snaps.

Speaker 37 What? Really? Those are

Speaker 37 tear away armor.

Speaker 9 Tear away armor.

Speaker 20 You know, in case we need to poop or something.

Speaker 3 Wait. You can't...

Speaker 32 You have to take it all off to poop?

Speaker 20 How do you think I poop? I mean, I'll put the armor back on.

Speaker 38 Wait, wait, wait. It makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 21 He keeps his gun. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Do you wait? Do you have to take a look?

Speaker 39 Take a robot, man.

Speaker 20 Where do you think? How do you think I poop?

Speaker 22 I would assume

Speaker 40 from

Speaker 29 your anus.

Speaker 22 That's right.

Speaker 30 But what do I do with the pants?

Speaker 20 How do I get the pants of the armor off?

Speaker 9 I just do that.

Speaker 22 Why don't you just remove the butt plate?

Speaker 30 I mean, it's all sort of interconnected.

Speaker 21 Do you have to remove the gun before you go to the bathroom? No.

Speaker 26 You can poop around the gun?

Speaker 20 It's all mental.

Speaker 30 I mean, like, gun or boop.

Speaker 42 Why did they do that?

Speaker 35 Why did they make the clunt down?

Speaker 9 I don't make the rules. Uh-oh.

Speaker 37 Whoops.

Speaker 43 What? What, Bargie?

Speaker 31 It's not a big deal, but um.

Speaker 31 One of the AOEs are around.

Speaker 34 What is an AOE?

Speaker 22 Agent of Anthony, of course.

Speaker 3 Oh. That's...

Speaker 44 That is a big deal, Bargie.

Speaker 3 What are we gonna do?

Speaker 31 They're just annoying. They're just like annoying little things that go around and

Speaker 31 capture people and put them into prison for life. Whatever.

Speaker 35 Bargie,

Speaker 22 I have an idea here.

Speaker 26 I think I can use the midnight trainer's stealth subroutines too.

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 46 You just cloaked Bargie?

Speaker 40 We're totally sensor invisible at this point.

Speaker 45 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 20 I don't feel any different.

Speaker 28 Wow.

Speaker 48 Oh, that's so annoying.

Speaker 25 Oh, okay, Bargie, now I know what you mean.

Speaker 40 These are very annoying.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 25 It's weird that the ship has like a little glass dome and there's a guy ringing a bell inside it.

Speaker 11 C53,

Speaker 12 can you run a quick scan?

Speaker 46 Are there any other ships around here?

Speaker 12 What is this person doing?

Speaker 12 claim.

Speaker 21 I think this is what happens when you work alone.

Speaker 22 Yeah, I think you just make all these little weird rituals for yourself.

Speaker 22 Alright, he's gone.

Speaker 22 Wow, wow, that was

Speaker 20 close. Good thing I'm invisible.

Speaker 31 Honestly, I kinda like it. I've never been so wanted in my life.

Speaker 31 Everybody wants me.

Speaker 29 I think you're confusing good attention with bad attention?

Speaker 31 Like signs up in various stores wanted. Baji

Speaker 31 wanted.

Speaker 31 I'm turning my eyes off and I'm throwing

Speaker 31 it.

Speaker 31 Okay,

Speaker 52 okay, well, no, I mean I feel it.

Speaker 25 I'd see this part of the training because I'm I do feel the space.

Speaker 8 Okay,

Speaker 53 good. That's funny.

Speaker 29 I mean, that was a cue to it.

Speaker 8 Okay, but

Speaker 26 okay, that's

Speaker 25 great.

Speaker 23 I guess you figured it out.

Speaker 25 I'm figuring out exactly how the training works for both of us.

Speaker 39 It's still in process.

Speaker 42 Papa Dexter, I have an incoming transmission from Master Missions Operations Nerviter.

Speaker 15 Hey, Nermit.

Speaker 3 Hey, guys. Hey, how's it happen?

Speaker 44 Great.

Speaker 30 You're very happy.

Speaker 15 This is the most chipper we've ever seen you on full of.

Speaker 55 Well, I've got, uh, there's a mouse in my nest.

Speaker 55 Um, but it's like a friendly mouse. And it turns out like

Speaker 13 you have a friendly mouse in your nest?

Speaker 55 Yeah, remember, I mean, it's like the last time I encountered rodents, they ate my pants, and

Speaker 55 I, this one, I was like, oh, it's a smaller rodent, it's gonna eat, like, I don't know, like a kerchief or yeah, I think the rats that ate your pants were sort of maybe doing it out of spite.

Speaker 55 Oh, anyway, so yeah, I it's been kind of like a little lonely in the nest, and like, um, look at this little character.

Speaker 57 Are you serious?

Speaker 12 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 So yeah, it's like, it's like.

Speaker 59 Oh my rod, it's purring.

Speaker 13 You know, Nerma, I'm really glad that, you know, you're out on the sheer cliff with the, you know, just blistering winds in your face all the time. I'm glad you found a companion.

Speaker 60 Thank you. I'm going to name you.

Speaker 8 Nermit.

Speaker 8 Wow, that is a harsh, harsh lesson.

Speaker 21 At least you hadn't gotten around to naming it.

Speaker 62 That's true.

Speaker 21 You weren't that attached.

Speaker 63 I don't know.

Speaker 52 It literally told me it loved me.

Speaker 62 So I don't know if you.

Speaker 21 I didn't hear that. I just heard a bunch of me.

Speaker 61 Really? Did I imagine that? I don't think you did.

Speaker 8 You've been away close a long time.

Speaker 13 Yeah, I think you need to get out of there. Take a break.

Speaker 55 No, actually, guys, I went and had dinner at my parents' house

Speaker 55 and I picked up my mail.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 13 Congratulations.

Speaker 21 Yeah, good job.

Speaker 14 Wait a minute. Yeah, what?

Speaker 30 Wait, he's not on the ship?

Speaker 21 Where would he be on the ship?

Speaker 33 I'm on the planet Philamon.

Speaker 3 Oh, my.

Speaker 58 Okay.

Speaker 13 Nermit Nerv is thousands of light years away. What?

Speaker 15 AJ, just

Speaker 21 turn off the cameras again.

Speaker 15 Will do.

Speaker 13 Can you turn off the mics?

Speaker 8 I can't believe we need to go to our

Speaker 13 public.

Speaker 13 Oh, no.

Speaker 11 You're right. I got my mail.
And look at this.

Speaker 55 Uh, wait, not that. That's a credit card offer.
Um, this.

Speaker 65 Isn't this crazy?

Speaker 55 So, okay, look at the address to Nermit Bundaloy.

Speaker 55 But, look at Your Excellency.

Speaker 65 Huh?

Speaker 55 I mean, I'm a Master Missions Operations Manager, but that seems like a level above me, right?

Speaker 22 Nermit mail is meant for the Emperor and got misdelivered.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 13 Alright, what does it say, Nermit?

Speaker 55 Okay, Your Excellency, we request the honor of your presence at the nuptials of Lady Trella McFonch.

Speaker 55 I don't know if you know that name. I looked it up.

Speaker 15 That's of the McFaunch family.

Speaker 5 Of the monarchy.

Speaker 12 Yes.

Speaker 8 Three of the 11 monarchs are from the McFonchie. Right.

Speaker 55 Guys, this is a monarchy and empire wedding designed, I'm sure, to unite the old loyalists and the new imperial regime.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 55 So here's what I did. You notice what's not here, the RSVP card.
I RSVP'd plus four.

Speaker 35 I think.

Speaker 13 What's going to happen when we show up and none of us are the emperor?

Speaker 55 So here's what we're going to do.

Speaker 55 Give me a second.

Speaker 3 Oh, he disconnected the call.

Speaker 29 I think this is a bad idea.

Speaker 29 We're going to attend the wedding of strangers we don't know.

Speaker 12 I mean, people do it.

Speaker 67 It's called wedding crashing.

Speaker 8 You crash a wedding.

Speaker 37 That was

Speaker 37 a really clue what happened.

Speaker 21 Wedding crashing. Oh, yes, that's when the two ships crashed into each other at a wedding.

Speaker 31 Yep, my character, she got an invitation because someone was sending a card to another Bachi, and it was for a royal wedding.

Speaker 25 Wait, Bargie, the thing that just happened is the plot of one of your movies?

Speaker 31 Uh, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

Speaker 33 I just said the title of the movie.

Speaker 10 So, how does it end?

Speaker 47 Oh, horribly.

Speaker 31 Oh,

Speaker 31 because they cut me out of this third act.

Speaker 3 I mean, how does the plot

Speaker 3 end?

Speaker 33 I didn't finish watching it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 31 If I'm not in it, then what's the

Speaker 22 okay, uh, Nermit?

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 42 I'm not gonna give you

Speaker 35 all this. Cut off the call.

Speaker 67 That new frame is real cash, C53.

Speaker 32 Alright, hey, Nermit.

Speaker 68 I'm into it.

Speaker 52 Hey, hold on. C53.

Speaker 36 You've just been doing this sort of like

Speaker 49 as an intentional formality this whole time?

Speaker 51 Protocol in diplomatic relations tonight.

Speaker 26 Okay, guys, I'm not.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 22 I figured it out.

Speaker 49 And you felt like Nermit didn't really deserve it.

Speaker 24 Yeah, no.

Speaker 49 No, that checks out.

Speaker 25 Hey, Nermit, I know you're already connected.

Speaker 49 I'm sorry you heard that.

Speaker 49 Advanced team.

Speaker 35 What?

Speaker 69 Any dignitary who's going to a place, they send an advanced team to make sure it's secure. We can say Yar SVP plus four, because he's going to have an advanced team and come secure the entire area.

Speaker 63 He's the emperor.

Speaker 43 Now, Nermit, I gotta say, that 90-second break you took, you really cracked the code.

Speaker 11 Thank you.

Speaker 43 You are, I mean, you are a master missions operations manager.

Speaker 69 You know, this go-gurt has so much protein that, like, huh? That my parents' fridge?

Speaker 69 I went there to get the mail.

Speaker 21 Did you also do your laundry while you were here?

Speaker 32 I was gonna say, Nermit, did they pack you a lunch?

Speaker 36 Be honest.

Speaker 71 Honest? Yes.

Speaker 20 Yes, they did. Okay.

Speaker 21 How often are you actually staying at your parents' house?

Speaker 69 No, I'm always in the nest unless they need me to

Speaker 69 be.

Speaker 69 So, advanced team.

Speaker 40 Despite waiving the courtesy of announcing you, this is an excellent idea.

Speaker 51 Thank you so much.

Speaker 40 Remember, Private Exeter, of course, that Gethsembali originally overthrew the monarchy with the Council of Seven.

Speaker 39 Right, that's true.

Speaker 40 Many high functionaries from the former monarchy are going to be there, some of whom probably hate the impact.

Speaker 26 Exactly.

Speaker 22 We might find a number of allies at this particular function on the next one.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 72 Interesting.

Speaker 69 So, guys, I signed everyone up for the salmon.

Speaker 26 I can't eat that.

Speaker 26 Hey, now

Speaker 10 the cheese didn't melt on my sandwich. Could you put it back on the drill, please?

Speaker 22 Damn.

Speaker 22 Okay.

Speaker 56 I'm the doodop Quiz.

Speaker 73 And I'm Bardicle Kisses.

Speaker 56 And this is Hollow Tonight.

Speaker 56 The headline remains, Barge at Large. The Bargerian Jade has been impossible to find, despite being under investigation for hundreds of tax evasion claims.

Speaker 68 Bargerian Jade sounds guilty.

Speaker 14 And what's this?

Speaker 56 15 more indictments for hiring bounty hunters to hide her trail and opening children's hospitals, letting them fill up, and then closing them back down for shame.

Speaker 73 Toot, toot, toot, more like criminal lawsuit, suit, suit.

Speaker 14 All this and more on Hollow Tonight.

Speaker 68 What's a new video from Peeny Gordo?

Speaker 73 Spoiler, it's pretty sad.

Speaker 56 Oh no.

Speaker 22 I have to say, this is one of Nermit's better clients. We look like a perfect

Speaker 22 advanced team. Even AJ here is our security detail.

Speaker 61 No, AJ, no, AJ, this is a wedding day.

Speaker 21 Sorry, we're so sorry. We're so sorry.

Speaker 8 Sorry, Stars Festive.

Speaker 8 Let's get started.

Speaker 45 Recover.

Speaker 4 Hello, hi. Hi there.
Hi.

Speaker 68 Are you on the list?

Speaker 39 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 75 We are guests of Nerbit Bundaloy.

Speaker 21 Oh, fantastic. And we are all having the salmon.

Speaker 68 Okay, and here's your table assignment.

Speaker 53 Table one.

Speaker 57 Number one. Yes.

Speaker 8 Table number one.

Speaker 3 Wait, we're table number one?

Speaker 6 We're guests at the end of our five.

Speaker 68 The groom and the bride will be sitting in the center of your table.

Speaker 12 Oh, God.

Speaker 8 Oh, no.

Speaker 52 Oh, boy.

Speaker 52 No press.

Speaker 63 Thank you.

Speaker 43 I'm sorry. I don't think we've been introduced.

Speaker 65 What's your name?

Speaker 68 Catherine Papay.

Speaker 32 Catherine, how are you? How do you know?

Speaker 24 I'm the coordinator of the wedding.

Speaker 3 Oh, oh, wow. Wonderful.

Speaker 68 So many pots need to go together, or else they fall apart.

Speaker 25 This is by far the biggest wedding I've ever been.

Speaker 4 Huge.

Speaker 76 Catherine, Catherine, where do you want this ice sculpture in the shape of a man carving an ice sculpture?

Speaker 68 Okay, let's see. In the seventh quadrant next to the left, next to table 77.
Right, right, right, right. And make sure it's always frozen.
If I see any water falling off of it, off with your testes.

Speaker 62 Whoa, yes, absolutely. We'll keep it on ice.

Speaker 43 Okay, uh, Katherine, it's great to meet you. We're gonna grab a canopy and just uh make ourselves.

Speaker 77 Uh, hello, uh, would you like any more glass of Chardonnay or a mushroom stuffed with uh smaller mushrooms?

Speaker 63 Ooh.

Speaker 63 Oh my rod.

Speaker 71 Derf.

Speaker 78 Hello. My name is oldest Derf.

Speaker 32 Derf, it's me. It's Pleck.

Speaker 3 Oh my, what?

Speaker 44 Pleck?

Speaker 3 Yes. Wow.
Oh, look at this.

Speaker 74 Look at the old chosen one. Hey, what are you doing here? This is crazy.

Speaker 3 What are you doing here?

Speaker 79 I'm just caterwatering.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 21 Are you here under cover?

Speaker 41 Or.

Speaker 54 I guess under the cover of, like, a good paycheck.

Speaker 80 Steady paycheck.

Speaker 3 This is good.

Speaker 74 It's good. Hey, what are you?

Speaker 50 You're so tiny.

Speaker 21 I'm in my fourth Octomaster.

Speaker 72 Oh, cool. Makes sense.

Speaker 71 Don't explain that any longer.

Speaker 39 Hey, you got a new robot. Good.

Speaker 81 That last one real sucked the old big one.

Speaker 79 You know what I mean?

Speaker 49 No, this is actually the same.

Speaker 12 Different frames.

Speaker 3 Ah, man.

Speaker 74 Why do you keep changing frames?

Speaker 33 Is it a confidence thing?

Speaker 4 Just like a variety.

Speaker 77 Oh, that's cool.

Speaker 79 You're a little looser now.

Speaker 72 You seem a little, like, a little fresh.

Speaker 8 I don't wanna

Speaker 6 do my own hornbox.

Speaker 3 Hey, who's this

Speaker 39 herb?

Speaker 20 Popped Xeter. Is this the incredible master of the space that you mentioned?

Speaker 49 Yes. Yes, it is.

Speaker 60 I thought he was dead.

Speaker 77 You're popping him?

Speaker 3 What do you mean?

Speaker 49 You're popping him.

Speaker 10 It's just what he calls me.

Speaker 25 He's just not. I don't know what...

Speaker 79 That's the correct term. That's an ancient uh term.

Speaker 80 Papa is the correct term. Yeah, he's popping.

Speaker 52 You are popping.

Speaker 77 But you can't take on a noob.

Speaker 3 A noob?

Speaker 39 Yeah, he you're his papa, and he's your noob.

Speaker 49 Oh, that can't be what it's called.

Speaker 3 What do you have you not the scrolls? I I feel like I'm harping on the scrolls a lot, but it's like I have the scrolls, okay?

Speaker 11 I have most of the scrolls.

Speaker 78 What do you mean most?

Speaker 25 Nermit made one into a nest.

Speaker 33 Nermit?

Speaker 3 The avatar of the whack? No, the other. Of course, he took the scroll.

Speaker 74 No, you can't let him have access to your private treasure mine.

Speaker 20 But you let the avatar of the whack take the scroll.

Speaker 3 AJ, thank you.

Speaker 8 What a betrayal.

Speaker 3 Thank you, young one.

Speaker 3 But how are you teaching?

Speaker 74 What have you been teaching him?

Speaker 65 Grandpapa Derf, I'm oldest Derf.

Speaker 12 All right.

Speaker 80 Did you strip him down and throw civil war at him?

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, I did. Yes, okay, good.
How did it go?

Speaker 21 Watch.

Speaker 3 That's great.

Speaker 67 He's doing well.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 72 Listen, Derf, Derf, listen.

Speaker 46 We have to go someplace someplace private and talk. This is...
This is an Imperial wedding. I'm sort of.

Speaker 60 Why don't you just come with me?

Speaker 80 I'm just going to pass some canopies and we'll have a little chat.

Speaker 6 Listen, here's what we're going to do.

Speaker 9 Papa, Grandpapa, and I will go chat about the space.

Speaker 8 And Mr. Robot Man and

Speaker 12 Mr.

Speaker 20 Robot Man and Dar,

Speaker 20 you guys try to find the information that we need, right?

Speaker 20 Let's do this.

Speaker 11 It's a plan! AJ, you need to turn it down.

Speaker 75 Can you put your fist in that power canopies?

Speaker 81 Let's not forget he's still nude.

Speaker 5 Completely nude.

Speaker 12 Yeah,

Speaker 35 please put that back on.

Speaker 4 How do y'all know the lucky bumble?

Speaker 3 Table one.

Speaker 38 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 68 Wowie. Table one.

Speaker 64 Is that the Emperor's table?

Speaker 4 He shouldn't say.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 62 This is my sister, Rhonda.

Speaker 82 I am literally obsessed with Nomad Bandaloy. You guys know Nomad Bandaloy.

Speaker 61 We do.

Speaker 21 We do very well.

Speaker 82 I follow all of his social media and I know everything he's doing.

Speaker 81 He thinks he would be here today. This is crazy.

Speaker 22 Rhonda's always on the show.

Speaker 57 We're

Speaker 61 here on his beach.

Speaker 53 Yes.

Speaker 21 We're his advanced team.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I'm just, you know, sending his regards.

Speaker 75 And but maybe he'll be here.

Speaker 62 What's he like?

Speaker 64 tell us a story

Speaker 21 ate his pants one time

Speaker 83 certainly you have allowed the space to flow through you.

Speaker 43 Yes, thank you

Speaker 12 Yes Chardonnay.

Speaker 65 I'm so sorry. Here you are.

Speaker 19 This is actually a Pinogrigio, but if you uh I was

Speaker 39 Chardonnay,

Speaker 52 sir.

Speaker 54 Just put a sugar packet in it and it's a chardonnay.

Speaker 8 Alright, very well.

Speaker 11 Dirf, can you just stop serving the

Speaker 32 place is crawling with waiters?

Speaker 11 You don't need to do your job right now.

Speaker 83 It's a sworn duty to do my job here.

Speaker 5 The space is flowing through me and I have to make some rent.

Speaker 20 Yeah, that makes sense to me.

Speaker 43 You're not living on this droid anymore?

Speaker 19 I don't have it. I'm a cater waiter.

Speaker 66 I have time to raise a child.

Speaker 61 What?

Speaker 12 Ugh.

Speaker 49 And now I'm at a wedding.

Speaker 79 I'm sort of loosened up.

Speaker 12 I have a thing for you.

Speaker 20 Maybe you'll find somebody.

Speaker 80 Exactly. A lot of people hook up with the waiters.

Speaker 39 A little no fact about weddings, especially royal weddings.

Speaker 79 Cater waiters are sort of like

Speaker 19 bridesmaid, groomsman, cater waiter.

Speaker 3 I don't think that's

Speaker 80 yeah, Clint's a little bit below.

Speaker 3 This no gets it.

Speaker 79 And what made you think it was time to take on it?

Speaker 32 He approached me.

Speaker 74 He just imprinted on you like a duck. That doesn't mean you're in charge.
It's like a fart teaching a burp how to stink. What are you doing? What?

Speaker 20 I'm writing that down.

Speaker 74 I'm writing that down.

Speaker 33 That's a Zima thing.

Speaker 3 Have you killed the Emperor?

Speaker 36 Are you paying attention at all?

Speaker 3 I don't follow the news. I follow the scribes.
I follow news from thousands of years ago. This is a prophecy.

Speaker 36 That's not news.

Speaker 3 The prophecy doesn't cover everything.

Speaker 24 It's not like, oh, they don't do film reviews in the prophecy.

Speaker 55 Darf, listen.

Speaker 43 No, the emperor is very much alive.

Speaker 36 The emperor has the entire galaxy under his thumb.

Speaker 5 And what are you doing to combat that?

Speaker 80 Have you gathered the Zima warriors from the Great Diaspora?

Speaker 32 I didn't know there was a diaspora.

Speaker 67 I thought you were the last one.

Speaker 74 No, there's a ton of Zima warriors. You're in charge.

Speaker 62 You're supposed to keep track of all of them.

Speaker 43 I've been focusing on my own place in the space.

Speaker 3 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 33 You know what? I know. You're very selfish.

Speaker 65 Like, oh, you're the chosen one.

Speaker 74 Here's the thing you have to do.

Speaker 30 I'm going to say that we did meet somebody who really seemed to.

Speaker 30 I mean, Papa, no offense, but I mean, this person really made you look like an idiot.

Speaker 72 They were

Speaker 78 a Zima warrior.

Speaker 25 No, she was

Speaker 25 just very talented. raw talent, I would say.

Speaker 49 She ran a gift shop.

Speaker 60 She actually gave me this woodsaber.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 79 She gave that to you? She had that?

Speaker 46 Yes.

Speaker 83 That is one of the most coveted woodsabers of Dingle Hopper, as we all know.

Speaker 39 What?

Speaker 77 That Dingle Hopper, that's what the.

Speaker 12 That's what she called it.

Speaker 77 Yes, it makes it what it is.

Speaker 5 Look at the Dingle Hopper you have right there.

Speaker 53 That's a beautiful weapon.

Speaker 65 Middle asked, does it glow when you use it?

Speaker 12 Sometimes it is. It glowed with Marf used to.

Speaker 52 Yes,

Speaker 34 I'm working on that. it.

Speaker 3 You haven't got the glow.

Speaker 67 Yeah, I'm working on that.

Speaker 78 Why are you so defensive?

Speaker 54 Maybe I've been too hard on you in the times that I've appeared to you, gave you a lot of information, and then died or faked my death.

Speaker 49 Yes.

Speaker 80 Maybe I've been a little harsh on you.

Speaker 52 I think so.

Speaker 32 I think so.

Speaker 3 Sorry, I'm very old.

Speaker 74 I'm set in my ways.

Speaker 30 Oh, here's a question I have.

Speaker 35 Okay, great.

Speaker 50 Let's open it up.

Speaker 3 And now let's let the noob have a swing.

Speaker 20 Is it magic or religion?

Speaker 46 The space? Ah, that's a great question.

Speaker 11 It's neither, it's just the space.

Speaker 43 That's what I said, and he said it didn't make sense.

Speaker 83 This guy gets it. This guy gets me.

Speaker 39 You know what?

Speaker 72 I'm thinking maybe he's the chosen one.

Speaker 3 Why would he be a clone?

Speaker 52 There's literally millions just like him.

Speaker 54 The chosen one could come from any quarter.

Speaker 36 It's in the temple. My name is in the scrolls.

Speaker 77 It's true. I could cross it out.

Speaker 32 I've been gathering people up to fight the Emperor. What have you been doing?

Speaker 3 You've been serving canopies.

Speaker 76 Is this pre-wedding entertainment?

Speaker 49 I think dialogue is the

Speaker 39 duologue, sir.

Speaker 79 Now'd be a good time to shut that guy up with the space.

Speaker 36 That's not how the space works.

Speaker 78 But oh, you're telling me how the space works.

Speaker 3 You got your noob cocky is what you are. What does that mean?

Speaker 80 You got a noob, so you think you run stuff.

Speaker 13 And I'll tell you what, you don't run is the space.

Speaker 76 I mean, what is this scene even about?

Speaker 52 Grand Grandpapa.

Speaker 3 Yes?

Speaker 30 You said there were other Zimas.

Speaker 3 They are

Speaker 19 in every planet, in every quadrant, there are Zimas.

Speaker 60 All you have to do is find like large parties,

Speaker 19 ceremonies.

Speaker 43 You're just describing cater waiters.

Speaker 77 That's exactly right.

Speaker 49 Hey, what about this guy? Is this guy Zima?

Speaker 12 Yeah, watch. Ready?

Speaker 12 Keep it fresh.

Speaker 19 See that? We just did a little handshake.

Speaker 54 And now we end it with a

Speaker 58 backlit.

Speaker 58 Wow.

Speaker 13 Very nice.

Speaker 83 Oh boy, my back.

Speaker 21 Well, actually, um, we're not sure if Nermit is the father

Speaker 38 of the family.

Speaker 4 Well, you know.

Speaker 22 Some contentions.

Speaker 58 Some people really are talking a lot about him.

Speaker 75 Darn, people can't get around to this Nermit bundle

Speaker 21 And it doesn't really feel like gossip because we're actually talking about nermit.

Speaker 11 This gossip is incredibly hot.

Speaker 3 This gossip is hot.

Speaker 74 It's hot gossip.

Speaker 62 Let's give them croons so they tell us more.

Speaker 76 Yes, and I'll spill a secret.

Speaker 76 I'm managing the garrison right now, but we've had several weak points that I'll tell you about.

Speaker 3 Just give me more of that hot gossip

Speaker 3 because I didn't know my bundle oil's tennis time, and he's quite it.

Speaker 42 I've Some unusual accents on this planet.

Speaker 39 Grandpapa Durf, I have a. I'm your Papa Papa.

Speaker 7 I have a question for you. If there are Zema warriors everywhere, we should be like rallying them to our cause.

Speaker 20 Is there one place where they hang out?

Speaker 19 Yes, Zema Prime.

Speaker 43 Zema Prime?

Speaker 3 Zema Prime?

Speaker 39 Where is that?

Speaker 80 If you're a member of Zema Prime,

Speaker 19 you can find it within one to two days.

Speaker 37 Wednesdays or

Speaker 3 they do weekends. Oh, wow.

Speaker 83 It's a very mystical, complicated task.

Speaker 66 What you do is you log on to the Zima Prime website.

Speaker 83 You can use mine.

Speaker 19 It's Tom.wellington.

Speaker 43 Is your actual name Tom Wellington?

Speaker 84 No, that's my roommate's.

Speaker 66 I use his login to.

Speaker 43 Is your roommate a Zima Knight? He was.

Speaker 77 But we lost touch.

Speaker 20 Do you guys share the login?

Speaker 30 Yeah, yeah. How many people are sharing that login?

Speaker 54 Topians, a lot.

Speaker 13 Derf.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 34 You need to to take me to Zima Prime.

Speaker 32 That's what that's where this is all leading. That's how we're gonna take down the Emperor.
You, me, AJ, maybe we can get Marf on board.

Speaker 11 The rest of the Zimas?

Speaker 32 Come with us. We'll go to Zima Prime.

Speaker 11 We can join the other Zimas and take down the Emperor.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 83 Well, uh, really, this is a good gig.

Speaker 20 Prophet Xeter is a good gig.

Speaker 39 This is a really good gig.

Speaker 11 What are you- Durf?

Speaker 34 What did you spend decades waiting for me for?

Speaker 11 So you could, so you could serve warm Chardonnay to people?

Speaker 80 What?

Speaker 79 I mean, I died twice for you, and that was like, like, that was one time too many.

Speaker 34 Both of those were fake- those were fake out, so you wouldn't have to hang out with me.

Speaker 33 It's almost harder to produce a fake death than just die.

Speaker 80 Definitely untrue.

Speaker 32 You self-immolated because I embarrassed you in the mall.

Speaker 80 The mall, that was my main social hang, and you blew it.

Speaker 33 But isn't it a fun surprise? Like, here I am.

Speaker 39 Haha.

Speaker 34 Derf, if you're really interested in freshness, you'll come with me to Zima Prime and we will take down the Emperor together.

Speaker 78 I also have

Speaker 83 like a book club that's meeting tonight.

Speaker 5 Oh, Papa Dester.

Speaker 3 It is a book club.

Speaker 71 It's a book club.

Speaker 79 We're reading a real Page Turner.

Speaker 65 Sort of a sad team thing called It's the Star's Fault?

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 44 That's not even a new book.

Speaker 67 I don't need to read a freshly printed book every a book club is just about having fun.

Speaker 3 It's not about covering anything.

Speaker 62 It's not covering you.

Speaker 74 You can read it anytime.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

Speaker 52 Stop fighting.

Speaker 15 Stop fighting.

Speaker 3 Oh, now you've made the noob cry.

Speaker 33 You know, a noob tear is the saddest thing in the galaxy.

Speaker 37 The tears are in the helmet. I can't get him out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's drowning. He's drowning.
He's gonna drown in his helmet.

Speaker 80 And sure, we can replace him with another clone?

Speaker 3 Fine.

Speaker 3 It's sad for me. It is sad for right now.

Speaker 80 But cleaning up a body is weird, especially when its clothes just fall off. You ever thrown out a naked body? It's so super weird.

Speaker 3 Because it's very easy to get caught.

Speaker 81 Was that a bell?

Speaker 84 I mean, I might have to be bringing out the steak, I think.

Speaker 79 What did you guys order?

Speaker 55 We all got the salmon.

Speaker 72 You ordered salmon.

Speaker 5 What are you crazy? At a wedding?

Speaker 77 You ordered salmon?

Speaker 59 How many people? We had five orders of salmon.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 80 there are five total orders of salmon.

Speaker 14 We're four of them.

Speaker 60 Plus one, though, right? And Dark can't eat fish anyway.

Speaker 20 Yeah, and also, Fisher Robot Man can't eat salmon either. So it's really just a two-year-old.

Speaker 49 Just the two of us.

Speaker 50 You guys gonna eat the salmon?

Speaker 65 Because let me tell you, it's horrible. Oh.

Speaker 54 You go to a wedding order of salmon, you don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 79 I don't go to a lot of weddings.

Speaker 36 Also, this isn't.

Speaker 67 We're not attending the wedding.

Speaker 8 Hot, gosh, hot, gosh, hot, gosh,

Speaker 21 of really juicy Nermi goss.

Speaker 46 But be warned, my gossipron will know if this gossip is true.

Speaker 75 I guess him, there is a mellow joke.

Speaker 4 Oh, well,

Speaker 12 surely all of you are familiar with his

Speaker 22 music altered ego.

Speaker 21 Nermit Bundaloy uses the pseudonym Nermit Nundaloy.

Speaker 58 Yes.

Speaker 12 See, Scott's Hermit.

Speaker 75 You're actually getting a little taste of this.

Speaker 64 What have you done?

Speaker 21 He did just release an album, but this is new.

Speaker 64 This is fresh.

Speaker 70 I'm sitting in a nest. I'm dancing in a nest.
I'm sleeping in a nest.

Speaker 4 Straight hanging in a nest. With a mouse.

Speaker 3 His singing voice is quite different from his talking voice.

Speaker 76 It doesn't sound like Emperor Strungo.

Speaker 21 Well, obviously, since he is performing under a fake name, he also

Speaker 38 is

Speaker 62 gas is so hot.

Speaker 76 I bet all the dissidents I know who hate the Emperor would be into this.

Speaker 62 In writing!

Speaker 76 Yes, I'm doing it now.

Speaker 3 Scribble, scribble!

Speaker 76 Dissidents like General Forlach,

Speaker 59 Lady Vindefa.

Speaker 3 Don't forget Lucia Moral.

Speaker 76 Oh, she hates the Emperor. So many dissidents.
Keep going, and I'll list more.

Speaker 38 Oh, yes. Yes, yes, um,

Speaker 61 famously also

Speaker 75 loves

Speaker 61 to eat curf.

Speaker 58 Loves curf!

Speaker 39 What? A Tellorian eating curve?

Speaker 76 Let's all name the names now!

Speaker 26 Yes, dissidents only.

Speaker 5 Suzanne Bere, Elliot Phil, Ziff Laus, Melanie D.

Speaker 76 Sharpett the Little Torp, Android 7592.

Speaker 61 Pretty good. Not as many names as

Speaker 22 the boy would drop her.

Speaker 74 Secretly, anybody who's named Angelina.

Speaker 76 Angelina is a famously dissident name.

Speaker 3 I take exception to that.

Speaker 22 Shut up, Angelina.

Speaker 48 I do. I do hate the answer.

Speaker 52 Angelina Belinti.

Speaker 3 Angelina Porp. Angelina Torp.
Angelina Dooley.

Speaker 4 Protocol. Diplomatic Relationship.

Speaker 75 This is maybe my most successful day ever.

Speaker 21 I know, and I feel like I'm getting a little noob cocky.

Speaker 64 Is that a friend?

Speaker 61 Derf.

Speaker 19 Yes, you've been waiting for me for decades.

Speaker 25 Now's the time. If not now, when?

Speaker 77 It's gonna really chuck a lot tonight at this wedding.

Speaker 32 You know what, Derf, I don't wanna spend my days as a Zema warrior hooking up with wedding guests.

Speaker 78 Oh, big mistake. That's like half of it.

Speaker 44 No, I'm not gonna do that.

Speaker 67 I have bigger plans.

Speaker 32 I'm gonna save the galaxy from whackness and take down the Emperor.

Speaker 43 I'm the chosen one, okay?

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 34 I don't need you anymore, Derf. Thank you.

Speaker 54 Are you turning your back on your Papa?

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 3 Papa Derf?

Speaker 32 Yeah, I mean, I guess I am. I guess I am.
You know what? Have fun after the wedding.

Speaker 67 I hope the after-party is great.

Speaker 60 You're going to go to Zima Prime by yourself?

Speaker 24 Yes, I'm going to lose. Use your login.

Speaker 65 That is the freshest move of all.

Speaker 12 What?

Speaker 66 You finally become a Zima warrior by ignoring your papa.

Speaker 3 Really?

Speaker 79 Yes, you're like a baby bird who spits in its mother's face.

Speaker 3 That's not how. I don't think that's how you're doing.

Speaker 3 I don't think that's how I'm going to be able to do it.

Speaker 53 Yes.

Speaker 60 This is going to be good. I finally feel like I'm ready to take you to Zima Prime, and it's time we

Speaker 46 truly brought freshness back.

Speaker 79 Yes. Let's go.
Yes.

Speaker 19 Just, I'll take my jacket in the back and then we'll get on Bargie.

Speaker 48 Why do you have to do why?

Speaker 83 It's not my jacket. I have to return.

Speaker 3 See, he gets a hair.

Speaker 8 It's a small world for catering business, Papa.

Speaker 35 Exactly.

Speaker 65 I mean, if that gets back, it's all his email warriors, and if it spreads it, like, oh, the old Derf's not cleaning his jacket.

Speaker 21 I'm actually now really understanding what Bargie meant about being wanted.

Speaker 61 Nermit Bundalo.

Speaker 61 His parents still make him alive.

Speaker 38 He's not the birdie, but it's like that little lizard doesn't know how to take care of himself, you know?

Speaker 8 Is that a nickname?

Speaker 14 What lizard?

Speaker 68 I'm sorry? Maybe Lizard is a nickname.

Speaker 21 He's so s sleazy, right?

Speaker 4 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 58 Judging gossip need to make a nickname.

Speaker 62 Lizard does not compute.

Speaker 3 Was this Goth hot and all?

Speaker 61 Were we misled about the temperature of this gossip?

Speaker 75 With the earth!

Speaker 21 Where did these pitchforks come from?

Speaker 22 It seemed like everybody had one under their table.

Speaker 74 They're the wedding favors!

Speaker 8 Oh no!

Speaker 75 Darn, we really might be in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 12 If you know Nerva, then you'd know the name of his elementary school that we all attended.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 4 No!

Speaker 75 Well, everyone knows that.

Speaker 12 Six prep killed.

Speaker 79 Let's go. Yes, good.
Let's go. All of us together.

Speaker 54 And bring your other friends, the robot and the tiny one.

Speaker 5 Yeah, okay, good.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, they'd be coming along anyway.

Speaker 30 Abba, I've put the coordinates to Bargy. She's on her way.
Oh.

Speaker 7 We should gather at Mr. Robot Man and Dar.

Speaker 43 Yeah, it's C-53, actually.

Speaker 60 Huh? This is going to be good.

Speaker 54 I would never walk away from this situation.

Speaker 54 What?

Speaker 59 What?

Speaker 59 What's happening?

Speaker 46 What is happening?

Speaker 81 This is.

Speaker 70 You know, I spent so many years planning this wedding and now a crowd of angry people are just gonna ruin all of the decorations.

Speaker 6 I'm like, why did I even

Speaker 81 serve more canopies? This is what happens to a crowd.

Speaker 3 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 No!

Speaker 3 I'll stop them! I'll stop them!

Speaker 81 You guys, run!

Speaker 80 Get to Bargi, go!

Speaker 33 Gather them with us!

Speaker 52 Take the arms off!

Speaker 41 Take the arms off!

Speaker 33 I'll stay to here and stop them and jump around a little bit.

Speaker 57 Lippy, cannonbase. No.

Speaker 6 Pleck.

Speaker 79 Pleck, these are my last words.

Speaker 19 I told you they wanted a piece of me.

Speaker 62 And the jaw.

Speaker 57 Rip him apart. Eat him.
Rip him apart.

Speaker 63 Trash him with the ice sculpture of a man carving an ice sculpture.

Speaker 54 Gonna be hard to come back from this, let me be honest.

Speaker 67 And now a dance between the bride and groom.

Speaker 67 Well,

Speaker 45 I have to say, for a while, it was exhilarating leading that crowd of gossip outs.

Speaker 21 I mean, at first, the high of being wanted was

Speaker 22 incredible.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But then

Speaker 21 wow, it's just like our fans turned on us

Speaker 42 so quickly.

Speaker 37 Yeah, it's great.

Speaker 20 Wait, wait a minute. I just realized something.

Speaker 9 Bargie, if you're on the run,

Speaker 20 why are you doing missions with us? Why don't you just ditch us, you know? Shoot us into space and then just like disappear.

Speaker 20 Friend, fashion.

Speaker 21 I'm sorry,

Speaker 21 did you say that a little louder?

Speaker 21 I'm sorry, it's just like it's like the audio file is being corrupted or something.

Speaker 20 Oh, it's fine time.

Speaker 6 I think it's far time.

Speaker 47 First, first.

Speaker 31 Look at whatever.

Speaker 21 Yeah, of course it is, AJ.

Speaker 9 Don't let the black know.

Speaker 25 Hey, guys, excuse me. I uh

Speaker 10 I have some studying to do.

Speaker 22 Oh,

Speaker 29 did you not hear what Barton just said?

Speaker 21 Friendship. That's like you're fetish.

Speaker 37 I'm just, I'm just.

Speaker 21 You're a pervert for friendship.

Speaker 10 Sorry, guys, I'm just a little distracted right now.

Speaker 25 I'm gonna go read some scrolls, kind of catch up, you know. I learned a lot from Durf today, and I think it's that

Speaker 10 I can't get complacent.

Speaker 25 I don't want to be one of those Zimas who just caters weddings and

Speaker 39 jucks afterwards.

Speaker 29 Is that a lot of Zemas?

Speaker 43 Apparently, it's almost all of them.

Speaker 35 Thanks. Yeah.

Speaker 20 So Zemaway.

Speaker 45 I have an incoming transmission from Astronomy's Operations Manager, Nermit Bundle.

Speaker 23 You answer the call.

Speaker 25 Got some work to do.

Speaker 22 Hello, Nermit.

Speaker 30 Hey, guys.

Speaker 69 Hey, just looking through these paparazzi photos from the wedding that are online.

Speaker 30 God, it looks intense.

Speaker 51 Yeah, there was a real Nerma deal.

Speaker 27 Wow.

Speaker 30 Pretty great sculpture.

Speaker 45 Oh, yeah, that was amazing.

Speaker 45 Listen, Nerman,

Speaker 22 we're pleased to report that we have this 13-page list of named dissidents, all of whom despise the Emperor.

Speaker 29 Wow.

Speaker 69 Wow, this list is enormous. It's like almost all Angelinas.

Speaker 22 It's a lot of Angelinas.

Speaker 22 And enjoy this technical diagram, enumerating a number of vulnerabilities in empire garrisons.

Speaker 53 We'll pay it off.

Speaker 21 Yeah, uh, yeah, once the Pinot Grisian sugar packets were poured, everybody was filling their secrets.

Speaker 69 Aw, man. I'm gonna pretty much RSVP us to every wedding we get invited to.

Speaker 31 Oh, by the way, remember the uh the ending of the movie I did, Wedding Crasher.

Speaker 26 What happened?

Speaker 31 Well, after the two ships fall in love and and crash into one another, they end up going to a wedding that a lot of people get really angry and they get kicked out because it becomes all about gossip.

Speaker 31 It's like a very gossip-based movie, and everyone's yelling, hot goss, hot gossip,

Speaker 29 that's what just happened to us. In the movie, right?

Speaker 45 No, no, no, no, no, just on the script.

Speaker 31 That was in the original script, That's what we shot, but I guess, like, people were like, that's crazy, that would never happen. So they cut it.
And also, I developed.

Speaker 47 Oh, wait, wait, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Speaker 20 I'm gonna hail him.

Speaker 30 I'm gonna hail him.

Speaker 30 Alright, let's see.

Speaker 14 Seem of

Speaker 10 prime.space.

Speaker 10 dot wellington

Speaker 10 Never give me the password

Speaker 2 Let's see keep it keep it fresh

Speaker 10 space

Speaker 66 is the best

Speaker 4 What what turf AJ No, it's black

Speaker 22 uh

Speaker 83 could you get a message to AJ

Speaker 58 No,

Speaker 11 space connect him yourself. Nah, I know.

Speaker 72 I can get like one space thing a day.

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 65 What?

Speaker 46 Since we're in prison.

Speaker 10 Listen, while you're here, can I get the Zima? Can I get the Zima Prime password?

Speaker 41 I think I told you. No.
Yeah, I missed you.

Speaker 67 No, you didn't. You never told me.

Speaker 43 Do you not know your password?

Speaker 48 Is it safe?

Speaker 43 On my my computer?

Speaker 25 I don't know.

Speaker 43 Is your password autofill on my computer?

Speaker 65 Is there a little yellow bar with stars in it?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 21 What's wrong with Pluck?

Speaker 26 Why is he yelling?

Speaker 22 Just screaming out into space.

Speaker 31 Wow, he's really emotional.

Speaker 29 I'm here. He's just working for yourself.

Speaker 31 Can we give him a bed? Will that make it better?

Speaker 29 No, that's not going too far.

Speaker 29 This is Secret IT5.

Speaker 1 Credits and Attributions joined commencing, outro protocol. Papa Pleck Dexeter was played by Alden Ford.
C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn. Dar was played by Ali Kokash.

Speaker 1 Argy the Ship and Katherine, the wedding coordinator, were played by Mujan Zelfagari. Master Missions Operations Manager Nermick Bundeloy and the Lonely Agent of the Empire were played by Seth Lind.

Speaker 1 AJ was played by Winston Knoll. Oldest Durf was played by his special guest, Justin Tyler.

Speaker 1 Justin is a director and field producer for Dezus and Miro on Showtime and hosts the weekly variety show Gentrify with Alden Ford at the Upright Systems Brigade.

Speaker 1 He also co-hosts Comic Book Club, a weekly comic book show and podcast in NYC. Follow him on Twitter at JT Sizzle.

Speaker 1 Thank you to the audience at our season three kickoff live show for chanting Hot Goss. This episode was edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Speaker 1 Recorded at Braun Studios in Brooklyn, New York. Music composed by Brennan Ryan and performed by Fames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.
Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crenchley.

Speaker 1 Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce. Audio hosting by Simplecast.
Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

Speaker 1 And remember, Mission to Zix will be performing an all-new episode, appearing on panels, meeting fans, and stuffing our faces with hot chicken at the PodX Podcast Convention in Nashville, May 31st through June 2nd.

Speaker 1 Get your tickets at mission2zix.space or get more info at podx.com.

Speaker 6 See you there.

Speaker 60 Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

Speaker 73 Judge John Hodgman ruled in my friend's favor.

Speaker 86 Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

Speaker 87 I'm Judge John Hodgman. You're hearing the voices of real litigants, real people who have submitted disputes to my internet court at the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Speaker 87 I hear their cases, I ask them questions, they're good ones, and then I tell them who's right and who's wrong.

Speaker 85 Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling, My dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time.

Speaker 86 Instead of cutting his own hair with a flowby, my husband has his hair cut professionally.

Speaker 73 I have to join a community theater group.

Speaker 49 And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals.

Speaker 87 It's the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Find it every Wednesday at maximumfund.org or wherever you download podcasts.

Speaker 60 Thanks, Judge John Hodgman.

Speaker 73 Hi, I am Lori Kilmartin. And I'm Jackie Kish.
Together, we host a podcast called The Jackie and Lori Show. We're both stand-up comics.

Speaker 73 We recently met each other because women weren't allowed to work together on the road or in gigs for a long, long time. And so our friendship has been unfolding on this podcast for a couple of years.

Speaker 73 Jackie constantly works the road. I write for Conan and then I work the road in between.
We do a lot of stand-up comedy and so we celebrate stand-up and we also bitch about it. We keep it to an hour.

Speaker 73 We don't have any guests. We somehow find enough to talk about every single week.
So find us. You can subscribe to the Jackie and Laurie Show at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 13 Okay, bye.

Speaker 73 MaximumFun.org.

Speaker 87 Comedy and culture.

Speaker 84 Artist-owned, audience-supported.

Speaker 85 Is there one place where they hang out, or are they just sort of disperse?

Speaker 19 Zima Prime.

Speaker 43 Zima Prime? Zima Prime.

Speaker 86 Where is that?

Speaker 11 It's a mysterious planet that changes its location often.

Speaker 2 How?

Speaker 73 But you can always find it within two days.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 19 If you're a member of Zima Prime,

Speaker 19 you can find it within one to two days.

Speaker 3 They do weekends.

Speaker 5 Oh, wow.

Speaker 14 Allie.

Speaker 35 I like that.