308: One Wedding and a Funeral [ft. Justin Tyler]

Hey Zixheads!

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Lock and load.

It is a time of fear and unrest.

Emperor Nermit Bundaloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher.

Crusher.

Now, Zima Knight, Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to defeat whackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is Mission to Sink.

Pop a decker.

Uh, yeah.

I'm ready for a lesson in the space.

Oh, um, great.

Great, yep.

Uh, seems like now's as good a time as any.

Here, I'm just gonna grab some of these uh utensils over here.

Uh-huh.

And just, I want you to.

Can you turn off the cameras and your helmet so you can't see anything?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Whoa.

I just want you to, I'm just going to throw these.

It's really dark in here.

Yeah, I'm just going to throw these forks at you and try to catch them.

Try to dodge or catch them sort of as they come at you.

Wait, but I can't see anything.

Well, they see exactly.

That's you have to reach out.

What kind of dumb test is this?

Okay, that's.

You're just gonna throw cutlery at me?

What's going on?

You have to use all of your senses outside of vision, try to reach out with your feelings or your

space.

Where are all the spoons?

I'm holding.

Do you need one?

Well, yeah, how else am I supposed to have my go-gurt?

Okay.

Isn't go-gurt sort of designed not to

when I'm this size?

I need a spoon to eat the go-gurt flick.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Okay, here you go.

Why are you hoarding all of the cutlery?

I was gonna throw some at AJ.

Oh, carry on.

Okay.

Alright, so AJ, turn off the camera.

Okay.

Here it comes.

Ow.

Now you have to try to.

Ow.

Now you have to try to avoid it.

Does it actually hurt?

You are wearing armor.

I mean, it's more of like my pride.

Hey, where are my spoons?

Bargie, I'm sorry.

Do you need a spoon?

Yeah, I need a spoon.

Okay, how do you

what?

How am I gonna eat this go-gurt?

I don't know, Honestly, I don't know how you'd eat it with or without a spoon.

Can I turn my eyes back on?

No, no, no, no.

Keep them off just for a moment, AJ.

Because maybe the spoons is too much.

Or put a font to stand in front of you.

Okay.

I'm just going to tap on your helmet, okay?

Then you're going to try to dodge me tapping.

Alright.

Oh, he's down.

He's down on the ground.

AJ, I gotta say, I sort of feel like your first step in learning the space is to learn that, like, just because you're wearing armor, you don't have to just stand in the way of everything.

I feel like your armor has inured you to the experiences of life.

Should I want to get naked?

Is that what you're asking me to do?

Really?

That's not me.

I'll do it.

No, please don't.

I'll do it.

Wow, he did that so fast.

This all snaps.

What?

Really?

Those are

tear away armor.

Tear away armor.

You know, in case we need to poop or something.

Wait.

You can't...

You have to take it all off to poop?

How do you think I poop?

I mean, I'll put the armor back on.

Wait, wait, wait.

It makes a lot of sense.

He keeps his gun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you wait?

Do you have to take a look?

Take a robot, man.

Where do you think?

How do you think I poop?

I would assume

from

your anus.

That's right.

But what do I do with the pants?

How do I get the pants of the armor off?

I just do that.

Why don't you just remove the butt plate?

I mean, it's all sort of interconnected.

Do you have to remove the gun before you go to the bathroom?

No.

You can poop around the gun?

It's all mental.

I mean, like, gun or boop.

Why did they do that?

Why did they make the clunt down?

I don't make the rules.

Uh-oh.

Whoops.

What?

What, Bargie?

It's not a big deal, but um.

One of the AOEs are around.

What is an AOE?

Agent of Anthony, of course.

Oh.

That's...

That is a big deal, Bargie.

What are we gonna do?

They're just annoying.

They're just like annoying little things that go around and

capture people and put them into prison for life.

Whatever.

Bargie,

I have an idea here.

I think I can use the midnight trainer's stealth subroutines too.

What?

You just cloaked Bargie?

We're totally sensor invisible at this point.

Oh my gosh.

I don't feel any different.

Wow.

Oh, that's so annoying.

Oh, okay, Bargie, now I know what you mean.

These are very annoying.

Yeah.

It's weird that the ship has like a little glass dome and there's a guy ringing a bell inside it.

C53,

can you run a quick scan?

Are there any other ships around here?

What is this person doing?

claim.

I think this is what happens when you work alone.

Yeah, I think you just make all these little weird rituals for yourself.

Alright, he's gone.

Wow, wow, that was

close.

Good thing I'm invisible.

Honestly, I kinda like it.

I've never been so wanted in my life.

Everybody wants me.

I think you're confusing good attention with bad attention?

Like signs up in various stores wanted.

Baji

wanted.

I'm turning my eyes off and I'm throwing

it.

Okay,

okay, well, no, I mean I feel it.

I'd see this part of the training because I'm I do feel the space.

Okay,

good.

That's funny.

I mean, that was a cue to it.

Okay, but

okay, that's

great.

I guess you figured it out.

I'm figuring out exactly how the training works for both of us.

It's still in process.

Papa Dexter, I have an incoming transmission from Master Missions Operations Nerviter.

Hey, Nermit.

Hey, guys.

Hey, how's it happen?

Great.

You're very happy.

This is the most chipper we've ever seen you on full of.

Well, I've got, uh, there's a mouse in my nest.

Um, but it's like a friendly mouse.

And it turns out like

you have a friendly mouse in your nest?

Yeah, remember, I mean, it's like the last time I encountered rodents, they ate my pants, and

I, this one, I was like, oh, it's a smaller rodent, it's gonna eat, like, I don't know, like a kerchief or yeah, I think the rats that ate your pants were sort of maybe doing it out of spite.

Oh, anyway, so yeah, I it's been kind of like a little lonely in the nest, and like, um, look at this little character.

Are you serious?

Are you kidding me?

So yeah, it's like, it's like.

Oh my rod, it's purring.

You know, Nerma, I'm really glad that, you know, you're out on the sheer cliff with the, you know, just blistering winds in your face all the time.

I'm glad you found a companion.

Thank you.

I'm going to name you.

Nermit.

Wow, that is a harsh, harsh lesson.

At least you hadn't gotten around to naming it.

That's true.

You weren't that attached.

I don't know.

It literally told me it loved me.

So I don't know if you.

I didn't hear that.

I just heard a bunch of me.

Really?

Did I imagine that?

I don't think you did.

You've been away close a long time.

Yeah, I think you need to get out of there.

Take a break.

No, actually, guys, I went and had dinner at my parents' house

and I picked up my mail.

Okay.

Congratulations.

Yeah, good job.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, what?

Wait, he's not on the ship?

Where would he be on the ship?

I'm on the planet Philamon.

Oh, my.

Okay.

Nermit Nerv is thousands of light years away.

What?

AJ, just

turn off the cameras again.

Will do.

Can you turn off the mics?

I can't believe we need to go to our

public.

Oh, no.

You're right.

I got my mail.

And look at this.

Uh, wait, not that.

That's a credit card offer.

Um, this.

Isn't this crazy?

So, okay, look at the address to Nermit Bundaloy.

But, look at Your Excellency.

Huh?

I mean, I'm a Master Missions Operations Manager, but that seems like a level above me, right?

Nermit mail is meant for the Emperor and got misdelivered.

Yes.

Alright, what does it say, Nermit?

Okay, Your Excellency, we request the honor of your presence at the nuptials of Lady Trella McFonch.

I don't know if you know that name.

I looked it up.

That's of the McFaunch family.

Of the monarchy.

Yes.

Three of the 11 monarchs are from the McFonchie.

Right.

Guys, this is a monarchy and empire wedding designed, I'm sure, to unite the old loyalists and the new imperial regime.

Interesting.

So here's what I did.

You notice what's not here, the RSVP card.

I RSVP'd plus four.

I think.

What's going to happen when we show up and none of us are the emperor?

So here's what we're going to do.

Give me a second.

Oh, he disconnected the call.

I think this is a bad idea.

We're going to attend the wedding of strangers we don't know.

I mean, people do it.

It's called wedding crashing.

You crash a wedding.

That was

a really clue what happened.

Wedding crashing.

Oh, yes, that's when the two ships crashed into each other at a wedding.

Yep, my character, she got an invitation because someone was sending a card to another Bachi, and it was for a royal wedding.

Wait, Bargie, the thing that just happened is the plot of one of your movies?

Uh, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

I just said the title of the movie.

So, how does it end?

Oh, horribly.

Oh,

because they cut me out of this third act.

I mean, how does the plot

end?

I didn't finish watching it.

Oh, yeah.

If I'm not in it, then what's the

okay, uh, Nermit?

Okay.

I'm not gonna give you

all this.

Cut off the call.

That new frame is real cash, C53.

Alright, hey, Nermit.

I'm into it.

Hey, hold on.

C53.

You've just been doing this sort of like

as an intentional formality this whole time?

Protocol in diplomatic relations tonight.

Okay, guys, I'm not.

Yeah.

I figured it out.

And you felt like Nermit didn't really deserve it.

Yeah, no.

No, that checks out.

Hey, Nermit, I know you're already connected.

I'm sorry you heard that.

Advanced team.

What?

Any dignitary who's going to a place, they send an advanced team to make sure it's secure.

We can say Yar SVP plus four, because he's going to have an advanced team and come secure the entire area.

He's the emperor.

Now, Nermit, I gotta say, that 90-second break you took, you really cracked the code.

Thank you.

You are, I mean, you are a master missions operations manager.

You know, this go-gurt has so much protein that, like, huh?

That my parents' fridge?

I went there to get the mail.

Did you also do your laundry while you were here?

I was gonna say, Nermit, did they pack you a lunch?

Be honest.

Honest?

Yes.

Yes, they did.

Okay.

How often are you actually staying at your parents' house?

No, I'm always in the nest unless they need me to

be.

So, advanced team.

Despite waiving the courtesy of announcing you, this is an excellent idea.

Thank you so much.

Remember, Private Exeter, of course, that Gethsembali originally overthrew the monarchy with the Council of Seven.

Right, that's true.

Many high functionaries from the former monarchy are going to be there, some of whom probably hate the impact.

Exactly.

We might find a number of allies at this particular function on the next one.

Right.

Interesting.

So, guys, I signed everyone up for the salmon.

I can't eat that.

Hey, now

the cheese didn't melt on my sandwich.

Could you put it back on the drill, please?

Damn.

Okay.

I'm the doodop Quiz.

And I'm Bardicle Kisses.

And this is Hollow Tonight.

The headline remains, Barge at Large.

The Bargerian Jade has been impossible to find, despite being under investigation for hundreds of tax evasion claims.

Bargerian Jade sounds guilty.

And what's this?

15 more indictments for hiring bounty hunters to hide her trail and opening children's hospitals, letting them fill up, and then closing them back down for shame.

Toot, toot, toot, more like criminal lawsuit, suit, suit.

All this and more on Hollow Tonight.

What's a new video from Peeny Gordo?

Spoiler, it's pretty sad.

Oh no.

I have to say, this is one of Nermit's better clients.

We look like a perfect

advanced team.

Even AJ here is our security detail.

No, AJ, no, AJ, this is a wedding day.

Sorry, we're so sorry.

We're so sorry.

Sorry, Stars Festive.

Let's get started.

Recover.

Hello, hi.

Hi there.

Hi.

Are you on the list?

Yeah, absolutely.

We are guests of Nerbit Bundaloy.

Oh, fantastic.

And we are all having the salmon.

Okay, and here's your table assignment.

Table one.

Number one.

Yes.

Table number one.

Wait, we're table number one?

We're guests at the end of our five.

The groom and the bride will be sitting in the center of your table.

Oh, God.

Oh, no.

Oh, boy.

No press.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I don't think we've been introduced.

What's your name?

Catherine Papay.

Catherine, how are you?

How do you know?

I'm the coordinator of the wedding.

Oh, oh, wow.

Wonderful.

So many pots need to go together, or else they fall apart.

This is by far the biggest wedding I've ever been.

Huge.

Catherine, Catherine, where do you want this ice sculpture in the shape of a man carving an ice sculpture?

Okay, let's see.

In the seventh quadrant next to the left, next to table 77.

Right, right, right, right.

And make sure it's always frozen.

If I see any water falling off of it, off with your testes.

Whoa, yes, absolutely.

We'll keep it on ice.

Okay, uh, Katherine, it's great to meet you.

We're gonna grab a canopy and just uh make ourselves.

Uh, hello, uh, would you like any more glass of Chardonnay or a mushroom stuffed with uh smaller mushrooms?

Ooh.

Oh my rod.

Derf.

Hello.

My name is oldest Derf.

Derf, it's me.

It's Pleck.

Oh my, what?

Pleck?

Yes.

Wow.

Oh, look at this.

Look at the old chosen one.

Hey, what are you doing here?

This is crazy.

What are you doing here?

I'm just caterwatering.

What?

Are you here under cover?

Or.

I guess under the cover of, like, a good paycheck.

Steady paycheck.

This is good.

It's good.

Hey, what are you?

You're so tiny.

I'm in my fourth Octomaster.

Oh, cool.

Makes sense.

Don't explain that any longer.

Hey, you got a new robot.

Good.

That last one real sucked the old big one.

You know what I mean?

No, this is actually the same.

Different frames.

Ah, man.

Why do you keep changing frames?

Is it a confidence thing?

Just like a variety.

Oh, that's cool.

You're a little looser now.

You seem a little, like, a little fresh.

I don't wanna

do my own hornbox.

Hey, who's this

herb?

Popped Xeter.

Is this the incredible master of the space that you mentioned?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

I thought he was dead.

You're popping him?

What do you mean?

You're popping him.

It's just what he calls me.

He's just not.

I don't know what...

That's the correct term.

That's an ancient uh term.

Papa is the correct term.

Yeah, he's popping.

You are popping.

But you can't take on a noob.

A noob?

Yeah, he you're his papa, and he's your noob.

Oh, that can't be what it's called.

What do you have you not the scrolls?

I I feel like I'm harping on the scrolls a lot, but it's like I have the scrolls, okay?

I have most of the scrolls.

What do you mean most?

Nermit made one into a nest.

Nermit?

The avatar of the whack?

No, the other.

Of course, he took the scroll.

No, you can't let him have access to your private treasure mine.

But you let the avatar of the whack take the scroll.

AJ, thank you.

What a betrayal.

Thank you, young one.

But how are you teaching?

What have you been teaching him?

Grandpapa Derf, I'm oldest Derf.

All right.

Did you strip him down and throw civil war at him?

Yes, yes, I did.

Yes, okay, good.

How did it go?

Watch.

That's great.

He's doing well.

Okay.

Listen, Derf, Derf, listen.

We have to go someplace someplace private and talk.

This is...

This is an Imperial wedding.

I'm sort of.

Why don't you just come with me?

I'm just going to pass some canopies and we'll have a little chat.

Listen, here's what we're going to do.

Papa, Grandpapa, and I will go chat about the space.

And Mr.

Robot Man and

Mr.

Robot Man and Dar,

you guys try to find the information that we need, right?

Let's do this.

It's a plan!

AJ, you need to turn it down.

Can you put your fist in that power canopies?

Let's not forget he's still nude.

Completely nude.

Yeah,

please put that back on.

How do y'all know the lucky bumble?

Table one.

Oh, yeah.

Wowie.

Table one.

Is that the Emperor's table?

He shouldn't say.

Yeah, yeah.

This is my sister, Rhonda.

I am literally obsessed with Nomad Bandaloy.

You guys know Nomad Bandaloy.

We do.

We do very well.

I follow all of his social media and I know everything he's doing.

He thinks he would be here today.

This is crazy.

Rhonda's always on the show.

We're

here on his beach.

Yes.

We're his advanced team.

Yeah.

And I'm just, you know, sending his regards.

And but maybe he'll be here.

What's he like?

tell us a story

ate his pants one time

certainly you have allowed the space to flow through you.

Yes, thank you

Yes Chardonnay.

I'm so sorry.

Here you are.

This is actually a Pinogrigio, but if you uh I was

Chardonnay,

sir.

Just put a sugar packet in it and it's a chardonnay.

Alright, very well.

Dirf, can you just stop serving the

place is crawling with waiters?

You don't need to do your job right now.

It's a sworn duty to do my job here.

The space is flowing through me and I have to make some rent.

Yeah, that makes sense to me.

You're not living on this droid anymore?

I don't have it.

I'm a cater waiter.

I have time to raise a child.

What?

Ugh.

And now I'm at a wedding.

I'm sort of loosened up.

I have a thing for you.

Maybe you'll find somebody.

Exactly.

A lot of people hook up with the waiters.

A little no fact about weddings, especially royal weddings.

Cater waiters are sort of like

bridesmaid, groomsman, cater waiter.

I don't think that's

yeah, Clint's a little bit below.

This no gets it.

And what made you think it was time to take on it?

He approached me.

He just imprinted on you like a duck.

That doesn't mean you're in charge.

It's like a fart teaching a burp how to stink.

What are you doing?

What?

I'm writing that down.

I'm writing that down.

That's a Zima thing.

Have you killed the Emperor?

Are you paying attention at all?

I don't follow the news.

I follow the scribes.

I follow news from thousands of years ago.

This is a prophecy.

That's not news.

The prophecy doesn't cover everything.

It's not like, oh, they don't do film reviews in the prophecy.

Darf, listen.

No, the emperor is very much alive.

The emperor has the entire galaxy under his thumb.

And what are you doing to combat that?

Have you gathered the Zima warriors from the Great Diaspora?

I didn't know there was a diaspora.

I thought you were the last one.

No, there's a ton of Zima warriors.

You're in charge.

You're supposed to keep track of all of them.

I've been focusing on my own place in the space.

Yeah, of course.

You know what?

I know.

You're very selfish.

Like, oh, you're the chosen one.

Here's the thing you have to do.

I'm going to say that we did meet somebody who really seemed to.

I mean, Papa, no offense, but I mean, this person really made you look like an idiot.

They were

a Zima warrior.

No, she was

just very talented.

raw talent, I would say.

She ran a gift shop.

She actually gave me this woodsaber.

Oh, wow.

She gave that to you?

She had that?

Yes.

That is one of the most coveted woodsabers of Dingle Hopper, as we all know.

What?

That Dingle Hopper, that's what the.

That's what she called it.

Yes, it makes it what it is.

Look at the Dingle Hopper you have right there.

That's a beautiful weapon.

Middle asked, does it glow when you use it?

Sometimes it is.

It glowed with Marf used to.

Yes,

I'm working on that.

it.

You haven't got the glow.

Yeah, I'm working on that.

Why are you so defensive?

Maybe I've been too hard on you in the times that I've appeared to you, gave you a lot of information, and then died or faked my death.

Yes.

Maybe I've been a little harsh on you.

I think so.

I think so.

Sorry, I'm very old.

I'm set in my ways.

Oh, here's a question I have.

Okay, great.

Let's open it up.

And now let's let the noob have a swing.

Is it magic or religion?

The space?

Ah, that's a great question.

It's neither, it's just the space.

That's what I said, and he said it didn't make sense.

This guy gets it.

This guy gets me.

You know what?

I'm thinking maybe he's the chosen one.

Why would he be a clone?

There's literally millions just like him.

The chosen one could come from any quarter.

It's in the temple.

My name is in the scrolls.

It's true.

I could cross it out.

I've been gathering people up to fight the Emperor.

What have you been doing?

You've been serving canopies.

Is this pre-wedding entertainment?

I think dialogue is the

duologue, sir.

Now'd be a good time to shut that guy up with the space.

That's not how the space works.

But oh, you're telling me how the space works.

You got your noob cocky is what you are.

What does that mean?

You got a noob, so you think you run stuff.

And I'll tell you what, you don't run is the space.

I mean, what is this scene even about?

Grand Grandpapa.

Yes?

You said there were other Zimas.

They are

in every planet, in every quadrant, there are Zimas.

All you have to do is find like large parties,

ceremonies.

You're just describing cater waiters.

That's exactly right.

Hey, what about this guy?

Is this guy Zima?

Yeah, watch.

Ready?

Keep it fresh.

See that?

We just did a little handshake.

And now we end it with a

backlit.

Wow.

Very nice.

Oh boy, my back.

Well, actually, um, we're not sure if Nermit is the father

of the family.

Well, you know.

Some contentions.

Some people really are talking a lot about him.

Darn, people can't get around to this Nermit bundle

And it doesn't really feel like gossip because we're actually talking about nermit.

This gossip is incredibly hot.

This gossip is hot.

It's hot gossip.

Let's give them croons so they tell us more.

Yes, and I'll spill a secret.

I'm managing the garrison right now, but we've had several weak points that I'll tell you about.

Just give me more of that hot gossip

because I didn't know my bundle oil's tennis time, and he's quite it.

I've Some unusual accents on this planet.

Grandpapa Durf, I have a.

I'm your Papa Papa.

I have a question for you.

If there are Zema warriors everywhere, we should be like rallying them to our cause.

Is there one place where they hang out?

Yes, Zema Prime.

Zema Prime?

Zema Prime?

Where is that?

If you're a member of Zema Prime,

you can find it within one to two days.

Wednesdays or

they do weekends.

Oh, wow.

It's a very mystical, complicated task.

What you do is you log on to the Zima Prime website.

You can use mine.

It's Tom.wellington.

Is your actual name Tom Wellington?

No, that's my roommate's.

I use his login to.

Is your roommate a Zima Knight?

He was.

But we lost touch.

Do you guys share the login?

Yeah, yeah.

How many people are sharing that login?

Topians, a lot.

Derf.

Yes.

You need to to take me to Zima Prime.

That's what that's where this is all leading.

That's how we're gonna take down the Emperor.

You, me, AJ, maybe we can get Marf on board.

The rest of the Zimas?

Come with us.

We'll go to Zima Prime.

We can join the other Zimas and take down the Emperor.

I don't know.

Well, uh, really, this is a good gig.

Prophet Xeter is a good gig.

This is a really good gig.

What are you- Durf?

What did you spend decades waiting for me for?

So you could, so you could serve warm Chardonnay to people?

What?

I mean, I died twice for you, and that was like, like, that was one time too many.

Both of those were fake- those were fake out, so you wouldn't have to hang out with me.

It's almost harder to produce a fake death than just die.

Definitely untrue.

You self-immolated because I embarrassed you in the mall.

The mall, that was my main social hang, and you blew it.

But isn't it a fun surprise?

Like, here I am.

Haha.

Derf, if you're really interested in freshness, you'll come with me to Zima Prime and we will take down the Emperor together.

I also have

like a book club that's meeting tonight.

Oh, Papa Dester.

It is a book club.

It's a book club.

We're reading a real Page Turner.

Sort of a sad team thing called It's the Star's Fault?

Okay.

That's not even a new book.

I don't need to read a freshly printed book every a book club is just about having fun.

It's not about covering anything.

It's not covering you.

You can read it anytime.

Oh, okay.

Stop fighting.

Stop fighting.

Oh, now you've made the noob cry.

You know, a noob tear is the saddest thing in the galaxy.

The tears are in the helmet.

I can't get him out.

Yeah, he's drowning.

He's drowning.

He's gonna drown in his helmet.

And sure, we can replace him with another clone?

Fine.

It's sad for me.

It is sad for right now.

But cleaning up a body is weird, especially when its clothes just fall off.

You ever thrown out a naked body?

It's so super weird.

Because it's very easy to get caught.

Was that a bell?

I mean, I might have to be bringing out the steak, I think.

What did you guys order?

We all got the salmon.

You ordered salmon.

What are you crazy?

At a wedding?

You ordered salmon?

How many people?

We had five orders of salmon.

Yeah,

there are five total orders of salmon.

We're four of them.

Plus one, though, right?

And Dark can't eat fish anyway.

Yeah, and also, Fisher Robot Man can't eat salmon either.

So it's really just a two-year-old.

Just the two of us.

You guys gonna eat the salmon?

Because let me tell you, it's horrible.

Oh.

You go to a wedding order of salmon, you don't know what you're doing.

I don't go to a lot of weddings.

Also, this isn't.

We're not attending the wedding.

Hot, gosh, hot, gosh, hot, gosh,

of really juicy Nermi goss.

But be warned, my gossipron will know if this gossip is true.

I guess him, there is a mellow joke.

Oh, well,

surely all of you are familiar with his

music altered ego.

Nermit Bundaloy uses the pseudonym Nermit Nundaloy.

Yes.

See, Scott's Hermit.

You're actually getting a little taste of this.

What have you done?

He did just release an album, but this is new.

This is fresh.

I'm sitting in a nest.

I'm dancing in a nest.

I'm sleeping in a nest.

Straight hanging in a nest.

With a mouse.

His singing voice is quite different from his talking voice.

It doesn't sound like Emperor Strungo.

Well, obviously, since he is performing under a fake name, he also

is

gas is so hot.

I bet all the dissidents I know who hate the Emperor would be into this.

In writing!

Yes, I'm doing it now.

Scribble, scribble!

Dissidents like General Forlach,

Lady Vindefa.

Don't forget Lucia Moral.

Oh, she hates the Emperor.

So many dissidents.

Keep going, and I'll list more.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes, um,

famously also

loves

to eat curf.

Loves curf!

What?

A Tellorian eating curve?

Let's all name the names now!

Yes, dissidents only.

Suzanne Bere, Elliot Phil, Ziff Laus, Melanie D.

Sharpett the Little Torp, Android 7592.

Pretty good.

Not as many names as

the boy would drop her.

Secretly, anybody who's named Angelina.

Angelina is a famously dissident name.

I take exception to that.

Shut up, Angelina.

I do.

I do hate the answer.

Angelina Belinti.

Angelina Porp.

Angelina Torp.

Angelina Dooley.

Protocol.

Diplomatic Relationship.

This is maybe my most successful day ever.

I know, and I feel like I'm getting a little noob cocky.

Is that a friend?

Derf.

Yes, you've been waiting for me for decades.

Now's the time.

If not now, when?

It's gonna really chuck a lot tonight at this wedding.

You know what, Derf, I don't wanna spend my days as a Zema warrior hooking up with wedding guests.

Oh, big mistake.

That's like half of it.

No, I'm not gonna do that.

I have bigger plans.

I'm gonna save the galaxy from whackness and take down the Emperor.

I'm the chosen one, okay?

And

I don't need you anymore, Derf.

Thank you.

Are you turning your back on your Papa?

I mean,

Papa Derf?

Yeah, I mean, I guess I am.

I guess I am.

You know what?

Have fun after the wedding.

I hope the after-party is great.

You're going to go to Zima Prime by yourself?

Yes, I'm going to lose.

Use your login.

That is the freshest move of all.

What?

You finally become a Zima warrior by ignoring your papa.

Really?

Yes, you're like a baby bird who spits in its mother's face.

That's not how.

I don't think that's how you're doing.

I don't think that's how I'm going to be able to do it.

Yes.

This is going to be good.

I finally feel like I'm ready to take you to Zima Prime, and it's time we

truly brought freshness back.

Yes.

Let's go.

Yes.

Just, I'll take my jacket in the back and then we'll get on Bargie.

Why do you have to do why?

It's not my jacket.

I have to return.

See, he gets a hair.

It's a small world for catering business, Papa.

Exactly.

I mean, if that gets back, it's all his email warriors, and if it spreads it, like, oh, the old Derf's not cleaning his jacket.

I'm actually now really understanding what Bargie meant about being wanted.

Nermit Bundalo.

His parents still make him alive.

He's not the birdie, but it's like that little lizard doesn't know how to take care of himself, you know?

Is that a nickname?

What lizard?

I'm sorry?

Maybe Lizard is a nickname.

He's so s sleazy, right?

Right?

Yeah.

Judging gossip need to make a nickname.

Lizard does not compute.

Was this Goth hot and all?

Were we misled about the temperature of this gossip?

With the earth!

Where did these pitchforks come from?

It seemed like everybody had one under their table.

They're the wedding favors!

Oh no!

Darn, we really might be in a lot of trouble.

If you know Nerva, then you'd know the name of his elementary school that we all attended.

Right.

No!

Well, everyone knows that.

Six prep killed.

Let's go.

Yes, good.

Let's go.

All of us together.

And bring your other friends, the robot and the tiny one.

Yeah, okay, good.

Yeah, I mean, they'd be coming along anyway.

Abba, I've put the coordinates to Bargy.

She's on her way.

Oh.

We should gather at Mr.

Robot Man and Dar.

Yeah, it's C-53, actually.

Huh?

This is going to be good.

I would never walk away from this situation.

What?

What?

What's happening?

What is happening?

This is.

You know, I spent so many years planning this wedding and now a crowd of angry people are just gonna ruin all of the decorations.

I'm like, why did I even

serve more canopies?

This is what happens to a crowd.

Yeah, okay.

No!

I'll stop them!

I'll stop them!

You guys, run!

Get to Bargi, go!

Gather them with us!

Take the arms off!

Take the arms off!

I'll stay to here and stop them and jump around a little bit.

Lippy, cannonbase.

No.

Pleck.

Pleck, these are my last words.

I told you they wanted a piece of me.

And the jaw.

Rip him apart.

Eat him.

Rip him apart.

Trash him with the ice sculpture of a man carving an ice sculpture.

Gonna be hard to come back from this, let me be honest.

And now a dance between the bride and groom.

Well,

I have to say, for a while, it was exhilarating leading that crowd of gossip outs.

I mean, at first, the high of being wanted was

incredible.

Yeah.

But then

wow, it's just like our fans turned on us

so quickly.

Yeah, it's great.

Wait, wait a minute.

I just realized something.

Bargie, if you're on the run,

why are you doing missions with us?

Why don't you just ditch us, you know?

Shoot us into space and then just like disappear.

Friend, fashion.

I'm sorry,

did you say that a little louder?

I'm sorry, it's just like it's like the audio file is being corrupted or something.

Oh, it's fine time.

I think it's far time.

First, first.

Look at whatever.

Yeah, of course it is, AJ.

Don't let the black know.

Hey, guys, excuse me.

I uh

I have some studying to do.

Oh,

did you not hear what Barton just said?

Friendship.

That's like you're fetish.

I'm just, I'm just.

You're a pervert for friendship.

Sorry, guys, I'm just a little distracted right now.

I'm gonna go read some scrolls, kind of catch up, you know.

I learned a lot from Durf today, and I think it's that

I can't get complacent.

I don't want to be one of those Zimas who just caters weddings and

jucks afterwards.

Is that a lot of Zemas?

Apparently, it's almost all of them.

Thanks.

Yeah.

So Zemaway.

I have an incoming transmission from Astronomy's Operations Manager, Nermit Bundle.

You answer the call.

Got some work to do.

Hello, Nermit.

Hey, guys.

Hey, just looking through these paparazzi photos from the wedding that are online.

God, it looks intense.

Yeah, there was a real Nerma deal.

Wow.

Pretty great sculpture.

Oh, yeah, that was amazing.

Listen, Nerman,

we're pleased to report that we have this 13-page list of named dissidents, all of whom despise the Emperor.

Wow.

Wow, this list is enormous.

It's like almost all Angelinas.

It's a lot of Angelinas.

And enjoy this technical diagram, enumerating a number of vulnerabilities in empire garrisons.

We'll pay it off.

Yeah, uh, yeah, once the Pinot Grisian sugar packets were poured, everybody was filling their secrets.

Aw, man.

I'm gonna pretty much RSVP us to every wedding we get invited to.

Oh, by the way, remember the uh the ending of the movie I did, Wedding Crasher.

What happened?

Well, after the two ships fall in love and and crash into one another, they end up going to a wedding that a lot of people get really angry and they get kicked out because it becomes all about gossip.

It's like a very gossip-based movie, and everyone's yelling, hot goss, hot gossip,

that's what just happened to us.

In the movie, right?

No, no, no, no, no, just on the script.

That was in the original script, That's what we shot, but I guess, like, people were like, that's crazy, that would never happen.

So they cut it.

And also, I developed.

Oh, wait, wait, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

I'm gonna hail him.

I'm gonna hail him.

Alright, let's see.

Seem of

prime.space.

dot wellington

Never give me the password

Let's see keep it keep it fresh

space

is the best

What what turf AJ No, it's black

uh

could you get a message to AJ

No,

space connect him yourself.

Nah, I know.

I can get like one space thing a day.

What?

What?

Since we're in prison.

Listen, while you're here, can I get the Zima?

Can I get the Zima Prime password?

I think I told you.

No.

Yeah, I missed you.

No, you didn't.

You never told me.

Do you not know your password?

Is it safe?

On my my computer?

I don't know.

Is your password autofill on my computer?

Is there a little yellow bar with stars in it?

No.

What's wrong with Pluck?

Why is he yelling?

Just screaming out into space.

Wow, he's really emotional.

I'm here.

He's just working for yourself.

Can we give him a bed?

Will that make it better?

No, that's not going too far.

This is Secret IT5.

Credits and Attributions joined commencing, outro protocol.

Papa Pleck Dexeter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn.

Dar was played by Ali Kokash.

Argy the Ship and Katherine, the wedding coordinator, were played by Mujan Zelfagari.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nermick Bundeloy and the Lonely Agent of the Empire were played by Seth Lind.

AJ was played by Winston Knoll.

Oldest Durf was played by his special guest, Justin Tyler.

Justin is a director and field producer for Dezus and Miro on Showtime and hosts the weekly variety show Gentrify with Alden Ford at the Upright Systems Brigade.

He also co-hosts Comic Book Club, a weekly comic book show and podcast in NYC.

Follow him on Twitter at JT Sizzle.

Thank you to the audience at our season three kickoff live show for chanting Hot Goss.

This episode was edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Braun Studios in Brooklyn, New York.

Music composed by Brennan Ryan and performed by Fames Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crenchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Mission to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

And remember, Mission to Zix will be performing an all-new episode, appearing on panels, meeting fans, and stuffing our faces with hot chicken at the PodX Podcast Convention in Nashville, May 31st through June 2nd.

Get your tickets at mission2zix.space or get more info at podx.com.

See you there.

Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

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Judge John Hodgman ruled in my favor.

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I hear their cases, I ask them questions, they're good ones, and then I tell them who's right and who's wrong.

Thanks to Judge John Hodgman's ruling, My dad has been forced to retire one of the worst dad jokes of all time.

Instead of cutting his own hair with a flowby, my husband has his hair cut professionally.

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And my wife has stopped bringing home wild animals.

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Find it every Wednesday at maximumfund.org or wherever you download podcasts.

Thanks, Judge John Hodgman.

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Together, we host a podcast called The Jackie and Lori Show.

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We recently met each other because women weren't allowed to work together on the road or in gigs for a long, long time.

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Is there one place where they hang out, or are they just sort of disperse?

Zima Prime.

Zima Prime?

Zima Prime.

Where is that?

It's a mysterious planet that changes its location often.

How?

But you can always find it within two days.

Yeah.

If you're a member of Zima Prime,

you can find it within one to two days.

They do weekends.

Oh, wow.

Allie.

I like that.