306: The Fresh Connection [ft. Rachel Wenitsky]

This is CRED IT5 with a special announcement.

Mission2Zix is performing live in Nashville, Tennessee at the PodX Podcast Convention on the weekend of June 1st.

We'll be improvising a brand new episode, appearing on all sorts of rad panels, and hanging out with you.

Get your tickets at mission2zix.space and check out the full weekend lineup at podx.com.

It is a time of fear and unrest.

Emperor Nermit Bundaloy rules the galaxy with an iron fist and also a planet crusher.

Crusher.

Now, Zima Knight, Pleck Dexetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to defeat whackness, bring balance to the space, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is Mission to Sync.

Hey, who's free?

Who's free right now?

Who's free?

Hi, I'm pretty free.

Great, can you go to the closet that's next to the humidifier?

Uh-huh, okay.

And can you take everything that's in that closet and put it into a box?

Okay, some of it's mine, but uh...

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Just like put it into a box.

Also, Barty, there's a lot of stuff in this closet.

Right, just put it into a box.

There should be a couple of little posters in there.

Uh...

Oh.

Yes.

Oh, wow, and it's in Gentawa.

There was a Gentawa dub of Into Out Too Into Out to.

What was the movie called in Gentawa?

Wow.

Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa, Gentawa.

Yeah.

Alright, and then just write on the box.

Take it all for sale.

Pargi, I feel like there's some valuable stuff in here.

You can't just put it on the sidewalk.

Oh, that's true.

That's true.

That's true.

Put for sale, put more money than you think.

Okay.

It's everything here is worth it.

Well, I mean,

No, stop.

I don't know if it's going to be successful, but I'll write it on here.

It seems.

Hey, are you all out there?

Yeah.

Yeah, Dar, what's up?

Okay, I just

have entered

the next

phase, we'll say, of this

experience going on in my body.

Okay.

And before

I

exit my room, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I know I look different and

I don't want to feel your eyes on me.

Yes, you know, Dar, I just want to tell you, you know, you're beautiful.

Oh, my rod.

I shouldn't have said that out loud, but I couldn't help it.

Wow, you nerve it size.

Dar,

you are so small.

What ha how where did that mask go?

Well, the mask has been conserved.

You'll notice that Dar is usually, of course, much smaller, but look how dense.

Dar, you're denting the floor walking around.

Yeah, this phase uses up a lot of my energy.

Yeah, so I've uh contracted.

Hey, uh, pop texas.

What is it, AJ?

Has Dar always been that small?

No, no, Dar is normally like 12, 14 feet tall.

Oh, okay.

Okay, AJ, please put the lock down.

Okay, sorry.

Do you make a strap for your lock?

Yeah.

It doesn't really work well.

No, it doesn't.

It doesn't really work well.

You gotta shorten that strap.

Yeah, you gotta also attach the other end of the

strap.

Okay.

Alright.

Dart,

I you know, I I shouldn't ask this, but is that okay for the for the baby?

Yes.

For you to be squished down like that?

Yeah.

Like I knew this might be difficult for

Oh, okay.

But then they later expand and become much larger.

Oh, well, as long as you're suggesting.

Okay.

Wait, you get bigger than you normally are?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, boy.

Pop a deck center.

I have an incoming transmission from Nermit Bundaloy.

Oh, alright.

Hey, Nermit.

Hello.

It's me, the Emperor of the Galaxy.

Nermit Bundeloy.

We should screen our calls.

I said Nermit Bundaloy.

I know, but why didn't you say Master Mission Reparations Miner?

Are you really just going to say that?

Why didn't you say Emperor Nermit Bundaloy?

Do we recognize the validity of that title?

Fair enough.

No, that's true.

Crew of the Bargerian Jade.

Listen, we did not mean to pick that up.

Hi there, it's me, the Emperor of the Galaxy.

And

I know what you're up to.

And, you know, honestly, I'm like, look at that gumption.

Look at that.

Get up and go.

But if I had my way, I'd kill you all.

I'd just rip you apart.

Listen, Emperor Bundaloy, we're after you.

We're on our way, and we're gonna do whatever it takes to take you down.

You'll never find us.

You won't see us coming because we have freshness on our side.

You just, by answering this call, you've revealed your location.

What?

How?

That's not.

I have location on.

What?

Yeah.

You have what?

Bargie, you have.

You ought to be found less than any turn that off.

What?

You have to go into your menu.

You have have to

do it.

Open settings.

All right.

And then scroll down to privacy.

Okay, see, but here's what's weird.

It's not in privacy.

It's in location services.

Okay.

You're right.

Yeah.

No, you're right.

You're wasting my time.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I have the receipts from the Bargerian Jade.

I mean, like, do you want to see the screen?

Here's where you are.

But it's not me.

Who's that?

No, my name is George.

My name is George O'Keefe.

We know that's one of your favorite aliases, Bargie.

George O'Keefe.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we were an anti-alias crew here.

Gunther Balweed.

Never call me that.

Well, that's your name, Gunther Baldwin is dead.

Nerman Bundaloy rules the galaxy.

Whoa, what?

What's that voice you're doing?

I'm just trying a few things.

I don't know if it works.

It feels a little too a little forced.

Yeah, a little bit.

Anyway, listen.

We will not rest until you're taken out and supplanted by someone who it is fresh.

Okay, alright.

I really hate that it's come to this because I have.

If you look behind me, okay, can you pan?

If you look here, I have some cameraman?

Yeah, yeah.

Elliot, hey, Elliot.

Hi, we're two-headed.

Yeah, it's a two-headed cameraman.

That's the best.

They get both together.

You know some of those assassins.

Is that Peter Woodfront?

Hey, what's up?

Yeah, I'm sure you've seen some of them, but uh, at my word, I will send them into the Zix Quadrant to hunt you down and destroy you.

I don't want to do it!

I don't want to be a bad guy.

I'm a good, straight, pink Tellurian.

Why am I the bad guy in this situation?

It's hard for pink Tellurians to mail pink

That's hard.

We're gonna go.

I'm a victim in this situation.

You're making me do this, man.

What do we do?

I don't really have any animals.

I know you can cherry.

What do we do?

I think it went okay.

I think it went okay.

Jesus, what are you talking about?

I think it went okay.

He's gonna kill.

He knows where we are.

He's got bounty hunters.

He's got bounty hunters everywhere.

He doesn't yell at us or anything.

He's not like that.

Don't pick it.

We can't pick it up.

It's the other one.

I'm sorry.

I'm a little bit more.

Yes, yes.

Okay.

Nermit, nesting.

Nermit.

Nermit.

No, AJ's right.

You need to shut the juck up right now.

We just got a call from Emperor Nermit Bundala.

What?

He knows where we are and he's after us.

What?

That's...

No, if he,

obviously, Nermit.

Wait, I just connected that you guys have the same name.

AJ.

I just put that together.

You guys have the same name.

AJ, it's very important to your Zima training that you take your log by its leash and go do something with this.

You got it, Papa Jackson.

Alright, hold on.

I'm just gonna.

You're such a cool size.

Nermit.

Thank you, Nermit.

Leave it.

Okay, so we're gonna scrap the mission that I was gonna send you on, which was gonna be pretty sweet, actually, because Nermit!

Yeah, well, sorry.

Shut up!

Okay, um, the new mission is just go fast anywhere.

Nermit's actually right, we should go ahead and just find a place to blend in.

Lie low, all right?

Okay, thanks, Nermit.

Great advice.

Bye.

Bargie, listen, run a scan, see if we can duck into any place and get, you know, somewhere off the grid.

Okay.

And turn off your location.

I can't turn off location.

The only person who could turn it off is my son, Blimpy.

He has the passcode.

What?

Barchie!

Good tidings, sentient.

Would you care for a coconut shrimp?

Oh, I'm okay.

Very well.

I am Kiarondo.

And in addition to my other vocations, I am clearly a highly skilled catering waiter, serving up crudeté, garfon with Gert Creme Frache, the hottest of hot browns.

Coconut shrimp.

Coconut shrimp, exactly, you name it.

And in a job like this, you always hear how important it is to have comfortable, supportive footwear.

But remember, that also includes socks, friend.

And I recently discovered something that changed the way I think about socks forever.

They're called

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and they provide delightful comforts that no other sock has ever provided to me.

For instance, arch support, a cushioned footbed that's comfy but not too thick, and a luxurious, seamless toe.

Plus they

how

I do not know, my friend.

They're wizards of sock manufacture.

Okay.

Plus they come in a dazzlingly fresh array of colors, patterns, lengths, and styles.

My favorite is the space-dye cushioned no-show sock in Hunter Cream.

What will be yours?

Maybe the same.

Maybe.

Well, you can find out by buying your bombas today at bombas.com/slash zix, where you will get 20% off your first purchase.

And for every bombas purchase you make, Bombas donates a pair to someone in need.

What could be fresher than that?

What could be less whack, friend?

That's bombas, b-o-m-b-a-s.com/slash zix for 20% off.

One more time.

Bombas.com/slash zix.

And can I tempt you one last time with a coconut shrimp?

Yeah, I haven't twist my arm.

Of course, you may, friend.

Wow, C-53, this might actually be a good place to hide.

There's just people all species bustling around.

Beepops and Zusus.

No, thanks, sir.

That's fine.

Look at you, Penguin.

You might want to zoo voo.

Why would you say that?

You might want to zoo voo a bebop.

I'm sorry, I thought bebops and zoo's were candy.

They are candy.

Why are you so weird?

Alright, mama.

What?

What?

Hey, are you looking to sell us a little boxes?

No, but we

want boxes.

No, no, no, we're selling big things inside.

No, we're not interested in boxes.

We don't want to sell the boxes.

You know, Dar, it's actually a really good thing that you're this size, but you don't stick out the way we normally do.

I'm going to remind you that in my seventh octomester, I am going to be so insanely big.

You better not make me feel mad about it.

No, I would never.

I feel like there's a lot of shame around the seventh octomester.

Honestly.

No, don't.

No, no, Dar.

Absolutely not.

You know, why don't we just duck in somewhere so we can put these boxes down for a little bit and figure out what we're gonna do?

Hello?

Oh, hi.

I'm sorry, did we catch you at a bad moment?

No,

sorry.

No one ever comes in here.

It's such a mess.

I'm so oh my gosh, it's such a mess in here.

It's a ton of stuff.

It's actually really cool.

It's got a surreal.

It is.

Well, let me just push all this stuff out of the way.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi there.

Hey, listen, we're just here to browse.

We might just be looking around for another

six, eight hours.

Yeah, okay.

Great, yeah.

So

don't mind us.

We're just looking around.

Don't bother us, guys.

We're being secret.

Hey, AJ, you should tie your log up outside.

No, don't turn it on.

No, no.

Careful, don't you?

Oh, careful.

Oh, boy.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

It's just.

uh it's fine.

It's actually really good to have you all here.

It's actually really good to have it's um well hey, we're we're just happy to be here.

Uh uh my name is um uh Fleck.

My name's Fleck.

Beautiful name.

Thank you.

Thank you.

My name is Norm.

Norm, beautiful name.

Thank you.

My name is AJ.

Oh, beautiful.

Name.

Tied that log up quick.

Yes.

I'm just uh I'm just your regular old C-Series drive.

Sure, yeah, you look good.

What's your name name in case we need to kill you?

AJ,

did you say that?

No.

So, what's your name?

Marv.

Wow, Marv, you have a ton of stuff.

This is pretty cool.

Thank you.

You know, I've gotta like gifts.

Collectible items.

Things I've stolen off of travelers.

What?

What was that most?

Just gifts.

Okay.

Collectibles.

Oh, yeah, that checks out.

Yeah.

A lot of broken glass at the moment.

Yeah, Yeah, so we're very sorry.

It's fine.

Can I give you guys a tour?

Yeah, absolutely.

This is so fun.

Okay, so obviously, like, when you walk in, we've got commemorative croons.

Oh,

see ones like this.

We've got these paper sleeves for you to slip them into if you want to display them.

Put them on a fireplace.

My mom would love this.

Oh, well, buy some for her.

I don't get back to Varanga 6 very often, but.

Okay,

here we've got a frisbees.

Sure.

You like frisbees?

Oh, yeah.

You like hacky sacks?

Yeah.

Yeah, now you're talking AJ's language.

Oh!

Whoa.

Is there a hack circle in here?

Nice.

Got room for two more?

Where did these guys with sandals come from?

You ready to hit this hack?

Yeah, alright, bro.

Let's do this.

Okay, I'll be outside with these guys.

No, do you guys want to come out for the hack circle?

No, we're good.

You guys know I'm kind of the best at it.

Alright, let's go.

Does this happen a lot

You know, I don't get a lot of customers, but when I do, it's always the hack guys.

Sure, sure.

As soon as the hacks come out, they flock.

Oh, yeah, Bargie used to date one of these hacky sacks.

Yeah.

Marv, this is some pretty fun stuff.

Yeah, what?

You think that's fun?

I've got a question for you.

Yeah.

Do you like slime?

Oh, do I?

Do you like slime?

Because I've got slime.

I've got all sorts of slime.

Oh,

galaxy slime.

Oh,

that's good.

Oh, yeah.

This is good.

Yeah.

This is slime that gets bigger the more you play with it.

Oh, wow.

So careful.

Careful.

Uh-huh.

A little too many.

Isn't that fun?

I'm having a great tip.

And then, you know, okay, I've got, you know, those tubes?

Yeah.

You guys know these tubes?

As soon as when you tip them, they make a sound.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I love these tubes.

Oh, I love that.

I love the sound of that tube.

Wow, that is a very distinctive sound.

I gotta say, I've got a thing for tubes.

I've also got.

You know the plastic.

It's still doing it.

You know the plastic tubes also?

Yeah, it does.

It does that.

Sometimes when I can't sleep, I just let the tube go.

It feels like someone's in the room.

It's a very soothing, very soothing noise, not obnoxious at all.

No, I like that it sounds sounds sort of like a sob.

Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit like why.

I just can't get enough of that tube.

Oh, gosh, I love tubes.

And then, if you look

over here, we've got these

t-shirts with Flarns on them.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I love Flarns.

Yeah, sure.

So I love that.

Mark, how much are these Flarns shirts?

These are pretty fun.

That's 20 croon apiece.

That's pretty reasonable.

In the smallest size, still 20 croon.

Still 20 croon.

And 20 croon in the largest size you have.

Largest size is less.

Largest size is 15 croon.

Well, I'm gonna take one of each.

That's great.

One for you, one for a friend.

No, no.

One for me now, one for me three octomesters from now.

Yeah.

Oh, wow, congratulations.

Um, thank you.

Sorry, did I overstep?

No, I'm I'm actually just getting used to it.

I mean, I just started showing, so I guess now everybody will know.

Got it.

You know, one time I assumed,

and I was wrong.

I will never.

Oh, there goes my tube again.

Yeah, they got a long delay on them sometimes.

Woo!

I won!

AJ!

AJ!

What happened?

There's not a winner.

I just nailed it and hacked you guys.

I just nailed it.

But I was like, wait a minute, I shouldn't win too much because then the Emperor will find us.

Alright, AJ.

Anyway.

It's just really good to have you guys here.

What brings you to this market?

Just hanging out, and you know,

and offloading some collectibles.

Yeah, do you buy stuff here as well?

Maybe.

Tell me, uh, what's kind of collectibles we talking about?

All your little feathers kind of stood up when you said that.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Yeah, uh, well, we do have some stuff if you'd like to take a look.

I'll take a look.

These were the final bottles of orange beer consumed by La Crane La Crosse.

Oh, the La Crane lacrosse?

Oh, my Rosh.

these bottles as sort of an apology for it.

Thank you.

These are great.

These are great.

So, I mean, what else do you have?

Because, like, I'll really, I'll take anything and I won't pay for it.

Uh.

That's not ideal, to be completely candid.

Well, we're not being completely candid.

Okay, well, AJ.

You're saying to be completely candid, and we're kind of giving you half the story.

Okay, I'd like the whole story, I guess.

Uh, AJ.

Come on, I've welcomed you into my shop.

I've welcomed you into my shop.

I've been very hospitable.

Okay, you're right.

I have half the story, and I want the other half.

And that, because that makes a whole story.

Let's just say we are trying to avoid, you know, any sort of imperial awareness of our presence, as it were.

Aha.

You're hiding.

Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.

Yeah, you made it pretty obvious that we were hiding.

Yeah,

I said, let's just say, and then I pretty much told you the truth.

You did say it.

Right.

You said it.

Yeah.

Well, you've come to the right place, I should think.

Really?

Let's just say

that we're standing above a pretty

slick

underground shelter that I might have spent

years and years building.

What?

Hoarding.

Supplies.

But you're just saying it, yeah.

But I'm just saying it.

I mean, let's just say.

Did you but are you doing the same thing I did, which is that you just said the truth after you said let's just say?

Yeah.

So, do you guys want to see my underground shelter?

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Okay, like I said, follow me, follow me, follow me.

Come on, come on.

Okay, okay.

I just have to follow all these levers.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I installed this.

This is very intricate.

Yeah, hold on.

Let me just do this.

Welcome.

There's even more stuff down here.

Yeah.

Marv, this basement is incredible.

It's huge.

Yeah, I have a lot of stuff.

This is like a decommissioned hanger bay.

I can't believe how to do it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, color meeting.

Impressed.

Okay.

Marv, the stuff down here is incredible.

It's nothing like the gift shop.

Oh, yeah, these aren't so much gifts as they are my private personal collection that I cherish very deeply.

This is amazing.

Yeah, oh, that's the jewel.

That's the jewel of grog that you're holding.

I was about to say, this has been missing for fifty years.

Well, it's not missing, because it's m I have it.

Wow.

Yeah.

Cool.

Um,

I need to ask about um

this.

Oh, yeah.

This bean-shaped item here?

Sure, yeah, I foul-I found that on a planet where e everyone was gone.

And that was all that was left.

That's a giant bean, and all the people are kind of rioting in torment around it.

Yeah, I think it was like a deity.

Wow, a rod.

Sure.

Something else, isn't it?

I mean,

you like it?

I'm gonna just set it right back down.

So, this is where I really spend most of my time, you know?

Well, I don't think that's it.

Wow, I mean, look at this stuff.

Yeah, isn't it neat?

Yeah, I mean, it looks like your collection's complete.

I I hope so.

Marv.

Yeah.

Is

this stick over here, this branch?

Yeah.

Is this.

Is this a Zima woodsaber?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think so.

I call it a dingle hopper.

No, no, this is a woodsaber.

This is a this is an elegant weapon of the Zema warriors.

Right.

I just call it a dingle hopper because I saw it and thought this looks like a dingle hopper.

Okay, I guess that's as good as I'm doing.

I kind of like dingle hopper better.

Okay.

I found that in a wreck.

In a wreck?

Yeah, a wreck.

You know, I was walking through the dunes.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

And I came across the wing of a ship sticking out of the sand.

So I dug for about three months.

Wow.

Mm-hmm.

And then

I found that.

That's a long time to dig.

Marf.

Well, you know.

You got those kind of shovely hands, too.

Your hands are sort of shovelly.

Yeah, I guess they are pretty shovelly, huh?

Maybe.

You can say it.

My hands are shoveled.

I don't know.

You've got feathers and shovel heads.

I don't know.

Let's make it really easy to look for stuff.

Yeah, it is.

I'm constantly digging around the dunes.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

You want to hold it?

I mean, can I?

You can.

I mean, anyone can hold it.

It's just a stick.

Well, C-53, I mean,

C-Series?

With the covers blow.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just call me Series.

Wait, we're not doing covers anymore?

We aren't AJ.

You can go back to being AJ now.

Sounds good.

It was hard to keep that up.

Not an actor.

Wow.

I can feel the space in this woodsaber.

Papa.

Yeah, there's definitely a lot of space in that dinglehopper.

Like, look, when I swing it around, it's like, view, view, view, shing, shing, king.

Pop makes sounds, Papa Dexter.

Where did you learn to do that?

What do you mean?

Where did you learn to wield a woodsaber like that?

I just.

I just, when I found it, I picked it up and I was like, Swing!

Quing!

Quing!

Shing!

My rod.

I've never seen anyone wield a woodsaber like that.

Nor have I!

I didn't know that anyone could actually wield a woodsaber.

That's sort of where I'm coming from.

Okay, well, first of all,

let's just agree I wield one.

You can wield it.

Yeah, yeah, you wield it.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Also go.

It basically is sort of, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, see?

So.

That's not what she was doing.

That's not.

Just do what I'm doing.

Like, look, give it back to me.

Like, okay, look, it's, it's literally just like, shwing, twing, sha!

So there's like, when she does it, there's like trails of light coming out of the singer.

Okay.

There's a noise.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do it with the noise.

Okay, but

do it with the noise.

Okay.

Uh.

Yeah.

What

where's the tube?

From upstairs?

Oh, I love that tube.

Okay, look, listen.

Sorry, I hope you don't mind I brought it down here with you.

I sort of don't go anywhere without myself.

You kind of got it back in your back pocket.

You pull it out for emphasis every once in a while.

I certainly do.

See, 53, I think it's I I feel like I've worked for almost a year now, and here's this here's this scaff who who knows how to do everything

yeah I mean I wouldn't say mad I just I just jealous he he would say jealous

do you think that the space is only for pink tellurians I no

no straight male pink tellurian no there are there are plenty of I mean I'm learning the space and I'm a pink male tellurian okay yes I'm a clone but okay and then

I feel like we haven't met a lot of space

non-male non-Tellurians.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, and we should.

There should be more.

There should be.

Everyone should be.

Yes, I am excited, but I'm also a little bit sad at myself, okay?

Hey, what are you guys talking about?

Nothing.

Gender parody.

Gender parody.

Cool.

It is sort of cool, actually.

Yeah.

This is a great day.

It's a great day for me.

No one ever comes down here.

I'm so happy.

I'm the the happiest I've ever been.

Mr.

Robot Man, can I have an aside with you?

Mr.

Robot Man, looks like there are a lot more robot men over there.

They're robots over there.

Look,

oh no, wait, C53, AJ's right.

Look at all of those troid frames.

That's a huge collection of frames.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, my dad was really into them.

Yeah, but these men.

There are dozens here.

Yeah, you like?

You like?

Is this a Ted Ronka signature C-Series frame?

It sure is.

With holographic Ted Ronka signature?

That's Ted Ronka's signature right there.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Who is Ted Ronka?

Who is Ted Ronka?

Well, let me just press the signature.

Hi, I'm Ted Ronka, owner of the Ronka Cybernetics Corporation, and this here's one of my signature C-Series frames.

These are so rare.

These are like one of a kind.

They certainly are.

And they're all mine.

Whoa,

the White Falcon.

C53, I've never seen you geek out like this.

I'm sorry, this is.

I've never seen a collection that even has half this many.

You've got everything.

You've got the donkey.

You've got the Tennessee Rose.

The country gentleman.

Yeah.

Wait.

What's that one?

You got like a sheet over here?

Oh, oh, you don't want you don't want that frame.

What is it?

Well,

we call that the midnight shadow.

What?

Yeah.

Wait, that doesn't make sense.

What you maybe?

But I'm saying, like, if it's midnight, you don't have a shadow, right?

I'm sorry, could I borrow this tube from you really quick?

Yeah, go for it.

Alright, now go get it!

Anyway, that's the midnight midnight shadow.

I mean,

I don't weird that pushbit about

well, it's real.

There's only one, and I've got it.

It can't be traced.

Not street legal?

It's street illegal.

It's like looking into a black mirror.

Yeah.

This is one look of a frame.

Hey, you wanna um

try it out?

No, I don't wanna

scratch this fight.

I couldn't possibly.

Are you sure?

I like you guys.

I don't know why, but I just get this good vibe.

I've ever wanted to explore in my entire life since I try on this trail.

Try it on.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Careful.

Okay.

Uh, alright, uh,

um, wow, I don't even know where the cube slot is on this frame.

Oh, oh, yeah, it's right here.

Oh, okay,

and in you go

This is sick!

Why?

What's different?

Nothing except for this.

Where did he go?

C-50.

Oh, wow.

Stealth mood!

C-50.

Like a midnight shadow.

Yeah, I mean, it's...

I think it makes less sense than it did, but okay, I'm on board.

Untraceable, like a midnight shadow.

I still makes perfect sense.

Wow, this is a beautiful just to be in here for a minute.

This was amazing.

Hey, guys,

uh, you know, I went upstairs because I, the tube, I kind of was batting the tube between my hands, and I kind of went kind of fell upstairs.

Uh, but uh,

anyway,

your eyes, your pupils are so big.

Um, point is, there's somebody up in the store.

What?

Yeah, there's somebody up in the store, but the thing is, it sort of looks like exactly like one of those assassins that

looks exactly like an assassin.

Yes.

I think it's one of those.

So we're running from the Emperor, and there are all these assassins that are trying to kill us.

And I think one of them's in your store.

Oh, got it.

Sorry.

Everybody, get behind me.

Hey!

Hey!

And a a little assassin.

That assassin's really small.

I should have said it was a really small assassin.

I'm sorry.

Go for it, Papa.

Come at me.

I have a tender knife.

Don't worry.

I've got this.

Let me take him on.

Yes, throw me my dingle hopper.

It's not, that's not what it's called.

I call it a dingle hopper.

Okay, fine.

I think it looks like a dingle hopper.

Okay.

It does resemble a dingle hopper, Papa.

Is that right?

Fine.

It does.

Come at me, tiny assassin.

Don't you ever mess with my friends.

Wow.

Isn't that nice and half?

How is that possible?

I don't know.

It just comes to me naturally.

Marph.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna leave now.

Okay, goodbye.

Yeah, sometimes when I fight through the space, like, it's like I don't actually defeat them, I just kind of d discourage them from fighting.

Wow.

I mean, that's also useful.

That's the Zima code.

You act only in self-defense.

Exactly.

Marph,

listen.

You're unbelievably talented in the space.

Thank you.

You have a gift.

Thank you.

I can't so much more than pop a deck setter.

Yes, yes, okay.

Yes, we all agree, AJ.

Marf, maybe we could help each other.

You could come with us.

We'll take down the Emperor.

You can teach me

your ways.

I can show you the ancient scrolls of the Zema Knights.

Yes.

Yes.

I mean, I probably understand most of that intuitively, but sure.

Sure, but there's definitely

a lot of people.

But all the things, I'll look at your logistics.

Sure, yeah.

Yes.

I get to go off with my best friends?

Marf, now that the assassin's out of the way, we probably have a very small amount of time.

Let's get back up to the surface.

We'll get on barge and we'll get on our way.

Okay, great.

Let me just grab my stuff.

Yeah, absolutely.

Alright, just some clothes.

I'm gonna just throw them in this bag and a toothbrush.

Yeah, sure.

And the gem of Grog.

Sure, yeah, sure, absolutely, yeah.

And all my tubes.

Okay,

that's a good one.

Okay,

all these C-frames.

Oh, yeah, we can't.

No, we can't.

I don't know.

It'll take us days to get all this stuff onto Bargie.

I mean, this room is three or four times the size of Bargie.

We can't fit everything on her.

But I

but I have to take my stuff.

Yeah, but can we just take some of it?

Can you lock the door and just come back for it later?

No, no, it'll all be taken.

I mean, I've worked my entire life collecting this stuff.

I am my stuff.

There's scans all over this planet.

It wouldn't last a minute if she left.

My stuff is me.

Listen, Marf, we can't bring this stuff.

I don't know what to tell you.

Then I

guess I have to stay here.

Yeah, I guess so.

Okay, AJ, just relax for a second.

I mean, that's what's gonna happen, right?

He is stupid, but he's right about this.

Oh no, Mars.

Oh, what?

It can.

Oh, no.

Everybody's doing it all going to drink soon.

Mars the best can cry.

Marth, I'll never forget any of you.

Hey, wait.

That frame?

Keep it.

What?

The midnight shadow?

Keep the midnight shadow.

It might be untraceable, but

I can trace it.

And this way,

I'll always know where you are.

And you,

Pleck.

Yes.

Take this dingle hopper.

No, I couldn't possibly.

You have to.

Take it.

Okay.

It's yours.

Okay, okay.

Thank you.

The dingle hopper is yours.

Okay, yeah.

I might not end up calling it that long.

I'm not going to call it a dingle hopper, or you will be shitting on my memory.

Okay.

You're still going to be alive, though, so.

AJ,

I want you to keep this tube.

What?

This tube was passed down to me.

Oh, you really shouldn't do that.

Yeah, please.

Please.

This tube is an antique.

It was passed down to me from my great-great-grandmother.

This was her tube.

Please do not give AJ a tube.

Look at this.

It's so loud.

Raw, this rules.

Sounds just like she did.

Oh, Ra, I will never get tired of doing this.

And you, Dar.

Uh-huh.

You can keep those t-shirts for free.

You don't have to pay.

That's actually very generous of you.

Thank you so much.

That's so sweet.

I.

Kay, will you?

You do something so nice.

This is so sweet.

There it is.

There's the tears.

Those tears are normal size.

Giant tears on a tiny dog.

We should go.

We should go.

We should go.

Be safe, my friends.

Marv,

keep it fresh, always.

I will.

Goodbye, everyone.

My friends are leaving.

My best friends are leaving.

Wandering free.

Wish I could be

blessings for sale.

So, you guys sold the box?

Everything gone.

I'm so excited.

Okay, how much did you make out of it, huh?

I estimated it's got to be at least 400,000 crore.

Some things in there were very valuable.

Did you know I had like a tiny morsel of Jojo Bajo's hair in there?

What part of his body?

I'm never gonna tell.

But you probably figured it out from the text.

Shubercare, right?

Listen.

Shabacare.

AJ.

He's not wrong.

Where is it?

Where is it?

Where is the money?

Okay, listen, Bargie.

Bargie, look, we may not have gotten crooned, but I think we've got something today that was more valuable.

Oh, but if you're gonna say friendship, I-

Oh, oh, oh.

Alright, that's pretty cool.

This is Z-Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing Outro Protocol.

Pop-up Pleck Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent, Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship, The Tube, and The Tiny Assassin were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Master Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind.

AJ was played by Winston Null.

Marf was played by special guest Rachel Winitsky.

Rachel is a writer and actor in NYC.

She's been on shows like The Good Bite and Elementary, is a former editor at Reductors, and was a guest writer last season on Saturday Night Live.

She's headed the comedy folk duo, Friends Who Folk.

Follow her on Twitter at Rachel Winitsky.

This episode was edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mixed by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Ducky Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York.

Music composed by Brennan Ryan and performed by famed Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship designed for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Audio hosting by Simplecast.

Vision to Zix is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network.

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Never forget me.

We never will.

We recorded this whole thing, so we can't.

Oh, good.

Marf.

Yeah, I could send you the tape of this if you're not.

Yeah, you should release it as, like, I don't know, like, wait, what do you have for me?

Oh, get out of here.

Yeah.

Swing!

I thought it was part of the game.

I- Okay, fine.

If I leave, I know what I'm not wanting.