214: The Crews' Ship [feat. Rekha Shankar]

Speaker 1 This is Sea Red IT5 with a brief message. For photos from recordings, live videos from the crew, and amazing fan art, especially if Dar, follow us on Instagram at MissionToZix.

Speaker 2 It is a period of civil war.

Speaker 2 The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Speaker 2 Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

Speaker 7 This is Mission 2.

Speaker 8 Hey, C53? Yeah.

Speaker 8 I feel like the whatever nebula we're passing right now is just beautiful. It's all purple and green, and there's like that sort of shimmer that's going through it.

Speaker 9 This is the coolest thing I think we've ever flown by.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry, Dick Setter.

Speaker 11 You

Speaker 13 Tellurian eyes shouldn't be able to perceive any of that.

Speaker 15 Huh.

Speaker 9 Well, uh, I don't know. It looks pretty cool to me.

Speaker 8 I can really only see it out of my big eye.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 13 We need to have a conversation about this eye.

Speaker 4 Oh, uh.

Speaker 11 You see the sound that that's making?

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 14 There's like a kitiness shell around your eye.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 18 That's not normal.

Speaker 8 If being able to see ultraviolet and infrared is wrong, I I don't want to be right, man.

Speaker 12 Do you feel anything moving around in there?

Speaker 8 I mean, no more than usual. There's something about this eye that, like, on a chemical level just makes me feel pretty good.
Like, I just...

Speaker 8 My blood is convincing me that it feels great. Does that make sense?

Speaker 12 It does, but that sounds bad.

Speaker 11 Alright.

Speaker 20 Sounds like maybe a cat is taking over your dopamine scepters or something very sinister.

Speaker 16 I don't know about this.

Speaker 21 Does anybody have an extra, like, resealable bag?

Speaker 23 What?

Speaker 21 No, I was just going to put my toothbrush in it while I'm packing up.

Speaker 3 Hey, Nerma, you're leaving?

Speaker 17 Well, yeah, I mean,

Speaker 21 this is the number of the personal days I put in for, so I'm just... Yeah, I'm packing up.

Speaker 3 Alright, so Nerma, it was really great to have you on the ship.

Speaker 8 Thanks. Yeah, it's good.

Speaker 24 I got a self-ticket. I don't need to.
We're going on a singles cruise.

Speaker 21 I'm in.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 21 Oh, I'm yeah, I'm in a stay.

Speaker 12 Oh.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 18 Are you staying just because it's a singles cruise?

Speaker 21 No, I just got my dates mixed up.

Speaker 8 Nermit, are you single now?

Speaker 21 You should ask Dar.

Speaker 24 What are we talking about?

Speaker 8 Oh, hey, Dar.

Speaker 7 Bargie just got his tickets. We're

Speaker 25 all going on a singles cruise, apparently.

Speaker 26 That's perfect because, Nermit, you're leaving today, so that means I'm single again.

Speaker 21 I'm leaving in a couple days.

Speaker 8 Guys, hold on a second. I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 What's going on?

Speaker 27 Bino's single and ready to mingle.

Speaker 24 Bargie single and ready to mingle.

Speaker 8 Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Is this a singles cruise for all of us?

Speaker 24 Uh no, I mean it's mainly a singles cruise for other ships.

Speaker 24 Um, my a former fling of mine, his name is Shane Shane, just sent me a message saying, Fargi, I'm now the owner, because he is he's a potty ship. Oh, he's a body ship.

Speaker 24 Let me tell you, he's a body ship.

Speaker 24 Anyway, he's like, Fargi, me and a bunch of the old gang are getting back together. We're having a single spaceship cruise, and you gotta come, and you, you come by yourself.

Speaker 9 Okay, okay.

Speaker 8 By yourself, does that include like without us?

Speaker 24 I don't know, but I'm not. I honestly, it's like right now, we have to go now.
You're just gonna come. Be aware that I'm gonna have a great time.

Speaker 24 It's been a while since I've had a job, since I've been in love, since I've been with somebody. So I'm kind of at peak level of going insane.

Speaker 21 Yeah, you deserve it, Bargie.

Speaker 9 Thank you.

Speaker 11 Now, I just checked with SR quickly.

Speaker 11 I'll recruit some time off, so I could go on the cruise.

Speaker 26 But, Nermit, you're coming with. Just to verify.

Speaker 21 I'm going on a singles cruise.

Speaker 26 No, then if you're staying on the ship, then technically we're still in a relationship.

Speaker 9 Wait,

Speaker 9 what is happening?

Speaker 8 Do you have like an on-again, off-again, like a like a.

Speaker 26 We have a very mature understanding. It took a couple of days to figure it out.

Speaker 26 But we've decided that when we're together,

Speaker 26 we're together. But when we're not together, we're apart.

Speaker 23 Well, that's just the meaning of the ship.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you just define it also emotionally.

Speaker 26 It just makes sense.

Speaker 12 So, currently, you're together.

Speaker 26 We are. We're together.

Speaker 21 We're together right now, but I mean,

Speaker 21 we would have been

Speaker 26 separated. Yeah.

Speaker 21 I feel like a singles cruise is maybe a weird gray area we hadn't worked into the contract.

Speaker 26 So, because technically, then we're not

Speaker 26 inhabiting the same space, but we're not together on the ship.

Speaker 21 We'll be together separately.

Speaker 21 He's just sucking in air.

Speaker 4 Ah.

Speaker 24 Alright, what do you think I should wear? This skimpy top or this skippy top? Or should I be more conservative? Wear this coat.

Speaker 11 Ooh.

Speaker 8 We're inside the ship, so we can't see what you're wearing.

Speaker 24 You can feel it.

Speaker 32 Yeah, let me feel it.

Speaker 24 Let me in. Let me in.

Speaker 24 Skippy top.

Speaker 11 Wait, what? Skippy top.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I gotta see.

Speaker 26 You know, Marge, I got a good coat, but nothing on underneath.

Speaker 9 Like a flasher.

Speaker 26 Yes, exactly like a flasher.

Speaker 33 Jump tower, chantawa, chantawa, jumtawa, dot, jumtawa, slash, zix, Jumptower ZYXX.

Speaker 16 Jumptower!

Speaker 24 Alright, I'm just gonna drop you guys off. So, uh, don't do what I wanna do, but hey, I do everything so go for it.

Speaker 8 Uh, all right, Bargie. Well, uh, just through the hatch then, huh?

Speaker 7 Okay, that's wild that there's a cruise ship for non-ships. Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 8 Just right onto the cruise ship, then.

Speaker 7 Great, yeah.

Speaker 20 It's gonna be awesome.

Speaker 7 Hi, daughters.

Speaker 24 That's how we say hi in ships.

Speaker 16 Oh, yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 11 I've heard that a couple times, yeah.

Speaker 24 Welcome to the cruise ship. All the crews are down below, so if you'll please follow the stair signs.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry, wait, all the crews?

Speaker 24 Yeah, it's a cruise ship.

Speaker 9 Yeah, right, a cruise ship.

Speaker 24 Yes, a cruise ship.

Speaker 13 You were saying the same thing, I think.

Speaker 24 Yeah, a cruise ship.

Speaker 20 Wait a minute.

Speaker 22 Are you saying cruise C-R-E-W-S ship or C-R-U-I-S-E ship?

Speaker 24 Oh, Rob, the first one.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 7 So, this is on the cruise of all the ships that are taking the cruise.

Speaker 24 Hey, you got it.

Speaker 21 Hey, y'all coming down to the cruise section? I'm on. We're on a stroller mining cruise ship.
Y'all wanna come down to the section with us? Hi, Cruise Director, Sarah.

Speaker 21 I'm so glad to be back in the hold.

Speaker 24 Oh, we're so glad to have you. Come on, join the other cruise.

Speaker 26 Come on down to the crew. Just a quick.

Speaker 36 Where are we going?

Speaker 24 Okay, now we spent a lot of time studying crews like you, okay? And we realized you love big rooms, right?

Speaker 37 That is so true.

Speaker 24 A big spacious room. Yeah, so that's exactly why downstairs we have one big spacious room for all of you.

Speaker 3 No, no, that's not. That's lusty.

Speaker 28 Oh, for all of us.

Speaker 24 For all of you. And I know a crew loves a big comfy bed, right?

Speaker 21 I love a big, comfy bed.

Speaker 24 You do? I love to hear that. Well, we have one gigantic, big, comfy bed for all of you to share right downstairs.
Can you believe it?

Speaker 3 Sounds like a floor.

Speaker 31 Ah, no.

Speaker 24 It's better than a floor. It's higher.

Speaker 8 Is there a lot of room to hang out outside of the bed or?

Speaker 24 Oh, yeah. We've got plenty of little desks for you guys to have fun with.

Speaker 8 It's a bunch of desks.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And an enormous bed. Okay.
Yes.

Speaker 24 Yes. Desks seem to be one of your number one toys.

Speaker 8 Thank you, Sarah.

Speaker 24 Yes, of course.

Speaker 8 I don't think I've ever met a ship named Sarah before.

Speaker 24 Oh, it stands for Sentient Recreation Allocation.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay, yeah.

Speaker 23 That makes a lot of sense, huh?

Speaker 31 Good.

Speaker 24 You're gonna be so excited to have so many activities planned for you.

Speaker 31 It's gonna be great.

Speaker 27 We know love activities.

Speaker 24 I love that. I love that you love activities.

Speaker 27 We know what that you love that. We know love activities.

Speaker 24 You're fun. You're fun.

Speaker 27 We know it's fun.

Speaker 11 Oh,

Speaker 24 confident, too. That's great.
Come with me, or rather, follow the signs, because I'm a ship.

Speaker 9 Okay, great.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 11 We are going going to a cargo hold where we will spend however long this cruise is, sleeping all together in the same cabin.

Speaker 32 Yeah,

Speaker 8 listen, Sarah, um, how long did these singles cruises usually last?

Speaker 24 So, usually around 14 days.

Speaker 11 Oh, really.

Speaker 11 I mean, it could have gotten awful lot worse, but that still seems long.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a long time.

Speaker 11 What? No!

Speaker 6 My ship never came back.

Speaker 28 What?

Speaker 26 Come out from the shadows, you creature, and talk to us.

Speaker 28 Oh, Rod.

Speaker 4 Oh, boy.

Speaker 9 Oh, it's covered in boils.

Speaker 38 I've been here for years.

Speaker 9 Wait, why are you covered in boils?

Speaker 7 It's my species. Oh,

Speaker 38 I'm just a species of boils.

Speaker 38 But my ship was single, and it went away, and then I think it met someone, and it forgot about me. And I've just been here.

Speaker 8 Do you think Bargie would do that to us?

Speaker 15 Yes, and I'm sorry.

Speaker 24 Hey, how about we all buck up with some of our activities?

Speaker 19 Huh?

Speaker 19 We have watched you guys.

Speaker 24 We really wanted to study what you guys would enjoy on a cruise ship.

Speaker 24 So here are a bunch of papers and forms with little tiny pens for you all to fill out.

Speaker 21 When you say studied us,

Speaker 26 did you study us specifically?

Speaker 3 Or we do fill out a a lot of paperwork, to be fair.

Speaker 24 We study all the sentients we knew, and it seemed you guys lived sort of, I don't know, Hermity,

Speaker 24 kind of crouchy lifestyles.

Speaker 13 Stuck inside ships when you're observing it.

Speaker 31 Yes.

Speaker 24 Yes. So interesting you guys spend your time that way.

Speaker 8 And we don't actually love doing that.

Speaker 21 That's sort of like what our job requires.

Speaker 24 That is so interesting. There's a whole galaxy out there, and you spend your time hunched over over a little table.

Speaker 41 Just to clarify, you never watched any sentience when they weren't on a ship.

Speaker 24 I can't think of a time now.

Speaker 13 Let's give you the source of the problem here.

Speaker 24 Attention, chips! Your speed dating round begins now!

Speaker 7 I'm a tanker.

Speaker 24 Yep, alright, we only got 30 seconds, so what are your problems while you single?

Speaker 43 Yep.

Speaker 24 I never reply back, so

Speaker 24 great. All right, bye.

Speaker 24 Mr. Mosh is my dad.
My name is Fezzel Mosh. Oh, your dad? Yeah, you look just like him.
Do you know my dad? Yeah, yeah. How's he been?

Speaker 7 He's, um, uh,

Speaker 24 yeah, uh, what? You don't know. Okay.

Speaker 42 What? Ah,

Speaker 24 you know, when a person is alive.

Speaker 42 My name?

Speaker 44 I don't think it matters much. I'm a private investigator ship.
Sometimes when the chips are down, you find it's either cash out or go all in.

Speaker 24 And I went all in. Okay, you re-I.
Sorry, you're talking to Budget, or Richard. Do you realize that? You're just quoting back a movie of mine.

Speaker 7 Oh, wow. You're really the person.

Speaker 24 I said exactly.

Speaker 42 Wait, okay. Uh,

Speaker 42 yeah, my this is my whole personality. It's just.

Speaker 24 Just try for the first time having an original thought.

Speaker 44 Oh, okay, my name is Dale

Speaker 44 This is hard. I'm not good at this

Speaker 24 It's so nice to meet you.

Speaker 29 Just I've been so sad lately

Speaker 24 See I've been sad so you can't have two sad people just gonna nable each other. I know I feel like that's like why I felt connection with you.
I do it feel a connection with you.

Speaker 5 No, it's so spiritual.

Speaker 29 I literally just met 10 seconds ago.

Speaker 24 Oh, it's so nice if you feel a connection to me this fast, honestly, there's something wrong. Your honesty is so refreshing, honestly.

Speaker 42 You're just not like any of the other ships I've met. You're like, cool.
And.

Speaker 42 Hello, Bargie.

Speaker 44 Yeah. Oh, that's a beautiful name.

Speaker 24 Thank you very much. And you are.

Speaker 44 I am Thomas. I must say, you are a beautiful ship.
Can I say that?

Speaker 42 Yeah, I'm

Speaker 42 not sure.

Speaker 44 You have the refined elegance of a ship that's really, you know, lived a

Speaker 44 sorry and interesting life, but with respect for dignity.

Speaker 44 I know it's soon, but can I ask you a personal question?

Speaker 43 Of course.

Speaker 44 How do you feel about Tellurians who are piloting a ship that is not sentient, looking out the window and talking to you through a microphone?

Speaker 24 Is that what's happening right now?

Speaker 42 Yeah, I'm just a Tellurian on this non-sentient ship.

Speaker 24 It's not gonna work out.

Speaker 24 That's quite for a moment. I thought there was something nice out there.

Speaker 4 Uh, hey, uh, Plex,

Speaker 9 who are you claiming as a dependent, dependent, if any?

Speaker 17 No,

Speaker 8 I don't think we have to fill this paperwork out. Are you filling out the paperwork?

Speaker 21 Wait, you don't have to.

Speaker 3 I just did.

Speaker 33 What do you guys guys?

Speaker 8 This is fake paperwork.

Speaker 3 This is supposed to be a fun thing.

Speaker 12 What would we be getting if we finished the paperwork?

Speaker 28 I don't know.

Speaker 36 Why would there be paperwork?

Speaker 21 Y'all don't have to do the paperwork.

Speaker 21 I've been on this cruise ship several times, and we just.

Speaker 26 I mean, excuse me, stranger, that would have been helpful information 40 minutes ago. He didn't ask.

Speaker 21 I just woke woke up by and heard. So listen, you don't do anything, you just go to the buffet and you kick the buffet.

Speaker 28 Oh, the buffet.

Speaker 28 Yeah, the buffet.

Speaker 21 It's right over there.

Speaker 18 What's there?

Speaker 21 Just food and stuff.

Speaker 24 Did I hear buffet? Are you fucked hungry?

Speaker 10 Uh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 43 Oh, great.

Speaker 24 Then please, as our storyminer was telling you, we got a whole line of food specifically for you crew folk, okay?

Speaker 8 Oh, great, thank you. That's really nice.

Speaker 24 Allow me to lift the lid.

Speaker 3 What kind of food are we expecting here?

Speaker 46 Oh, boy.

Speaker 8 Wow, that is just one big pile of

Speaker 10 gravy.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Yes, it's gravy, okay?

Speaker 24 We ground up the finest cold cuts into a nice little gravy. And that's for you.
This is what you enjoy eating.

Speaker 9 Well, but Sarah, we like chewing the food.

Speaker 8 Yeah, great. That's sort of part of the.

Speaker 24 But doesn't. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not super clear on crew anatomy.

Speaker 39 When you chew the food, doesn't it end up sort of liquidy like this?

Speaker 24 Yeah, and eventually, but it's a vacation, right? You don't have to do all the work. Just swallow the slurp.

Speaker 21 Yeah, Sarah's got the right idea. I just scoop up some gravy,

Speaker 46 pop it into my mouth right now,

Speaker 46 slip it down, and then good to go.

Speaker 10 It's real good. I love it.
Wait, do you have to wear it?

Speaker 8 We're in an enclosed area. You don't have to wear the the mask.

Speaker 21 Yeah, I did like the mask.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 15 Sarah,

Speaker 17 do you have any power?

Speaker 24 Do I have any power?

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 41 As a droid, I don't eat gravy, you know, processor afterwards.

Speaker 23 Just wondering if you have any power stations.

Speaker 24 Okay, well, well, this is really reserved for the ships, but we have, you know, some hyper-proton fuel.

Speaker 34 And if you see it or 53,

Speaker 24 I can maybe get you get you a tank of it.

Speaker 8 You see 53, can you can you use that?

Speaker 17 I mean, technically, but that's gonna be really

Speaker 11 to be honest. I don't know.

Speaker 17 That's a little.

Speaker 16 I mean, I'm if I have hyper proton fuel, I'm gonna be

Speaker 17 pretty jucked up.

Speaker 21 Will you starve otherwise, though?

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 24 would you like me to rustle some up for you? I feel so bad. I didn't even know about your weird dietary mister.

Speaker 11 It's not weird.

Speaker 14 It's pretty standard for a droid.

Speaker 11 But yeah, I guess if you have some, I'll take it. Great.

Speaker 24 It's coming into you on the conveyor belt now.

Speaker 25 Oh, wow, just exposed hyper-proton fuel.

Speaker 16 Is there a little bucket?

Speaker 46 Yeah, C53, I can see a real, like, a purple aura around that. Is that?

Speaker 17 Yeah, no, it's highly radioactive.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay. Okay.

Speaker 41 Which isn't a problem for me, but it's.

Speaker 32 It's a lot more energy than I'm used to.

Speaker 24 You're on vacation, right?

Speaker 16 Have fun. I guess I'm not sure.

Speaker 27 She love hyper-proton fuel.

Speaker 16 Alright. I'm just gonna take a quick bite here.

Speaker 16 Oh

Speaker 16 boy.

Speaker 17 That's good. Throw it down fuel.

Speaker 24 Good, right? We don't even water it down. It's pure.

Speaker 23 No, you can tell.

Speaker 7 Wow!

Speaker 7 Are my eyes brighter than normal? They feel really bright right now.

Speaker 15 That's C52.

Speaker 10 Your pelvis is

Speaker 26 gyrating at a level that we are

Speaker 26 really not accustomed to.

Speaker 16 I feel like I'm rattling. Is there a sustainable

Speaker 16 thing?

Speaker 28 C53, you're yelling. You're yelling.
Am I yelling?

Speaker 15 Is that too loud?

Speaker 27 We don't love we're yelling. We don't want it.

Speaker 37 Stop.

Speaker 34 Stop.

Speaker 26 Quick cue for you, Sarah. If two of us wanted a little privacy,

Speaker 36 where would we go?

Speaker 24 Oh, the refuse chamber.

Speaker 28 I'm sorry.

Speaker 24 The refuse chamber. What? Right over there, right over there.
We know that you crew members have to expel a bunch of refuse, right? The gravy you put in that comes out, right?

Speaker 26 Right. So you're telling me my options, if I wanted a little privacy, are the bathroom?

Speaker 27 Bito love you, C-53.

Speaker 11 C-50!

Speaker 27 Vito's got great ideas for screenplay.

Speaker 32 C-53 is sorry.

Speaker 32 Just do tickets to me and I'll write it in the house.

Speaker 27 Vito open on interior.

Speaker 27 Vito is private eyed!

Speaker 32 Vito! Private eyes! A glass door with

Speaker 32 your names on it!

Speaker 27 Peter, tell his story of Vino! The screenplay of Vino!

Speaker 16 Then, alright, I'll go back to the title page.

Speaker 32 The story of Vino, written by Peto.

Speaker 24 I'm just a hollow actor trying to make it.

Speaker 24 I don't need it. Nobody!

Speaker 42 You're an actor? No, no, thanks.

Speaker 24 Yeah, why would you want to date another actor? Wait, are you a representation? Oh, do you? No. Oh.

Speaker 38 Alright, so. What are you gonna do?

Speaker 24 I've got my crew always yapping inside of me because I try to inject him into space. Alright, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, this would never work. No problem.

Speaker 35 Not at all. No, goodbye.

Speaker 24 Goodbye.

Speaker 44 Well, I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of cinema. I'm more of a theater girl.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 24 I mean,

Speaker 24 why?

Speaker 42 Why do I prefer the city?

Speaker 24 Someone told me I should ask questions.

Speaker 45 Well, I have to say it's the connection you get

Speaker 45 from live performance.

Speaker 45 Yeah, here's the shrimp.

Speaker 24 Wow. Wow, look at you.
Look at that.

Speaker 42 Wow.

Speaker 24 You what? You got a chiseled

Speaker 24 face.

Speaker 29 You got a chiseled hole.

Speaker 24 Who are you? What's your story?

Speaker 45 Nah, you know, I just like deliver the shrimp.

Speaker 44 I'm the shrimp delivery ship. Wow.

Speaker 44 Humble. Thought I should put the shrimp anywhere, or where do I I unload it?

Speaker 7 You come over here.

Speaker 46 Are you gonna sign the manifest?

Speaker 24 Oh, that's so nice. Wow, I know I could.
I could sign whatever you want. Wow, my temperature's going up.

Speaker 44 Which is shrimp.

Speaker 45 I'm

Speaker 44 shrimp. Toting shrimp.

Speaker 24 Toady shrimp. That's a beautiful name.
I'm Baji.

Speaker 24 You can call me Bajerry. You can call me whatever you.
You can. I don't know.
You can.

Speaker 46 Are you gonna sign the manifest or what?

Speaker 16 Yeah, I'm so blustered. I can't.

Speaker 40 Get out of here.

Speaker 37 This is for the

Speaker 8 So, uh, been here for 400 days, huh?

Speaker 38 Yeah, for a hundred days.

Speaker 4 Oh, boy.

Speaker 38 My ship used to be my best friend.

Speaker 6 Oh, no.

Speaker 38 We would talk all the time.

Speaker 9 What happened to the rest of your crew?

Speaker 38 They're dead.

Speaker 12 Oh.

Speaker 8 Did they die here?

Speaker 11 Yeah. Oh no, what?

Speaker 40 But I started a rock collection.

Speaker 4 If you

Speaker 26 sit on the counter.

Speaker 9 Okay, I'm gonna get up here.

Speaker 46 I

Speaker 40 toys.

Speaker 5 Alright.

Speaker 33 Alright.

Speaker 4 There we go. Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 Hello.

Speaker 28 We're having ourselves a little date.

Speaker 4 Ah.

Speaker 4 Alright.

Speaker 21 Um.

Speaker 37 Jeez. I've never done this.

Speaker 28 I've never done this before, yeah.

Speaker 21 I mean, we've done a lot of other stuff before, but never this. So, how was your week?

Speaker 46 Good.

Speaker 40 Huh.

Speaker 40 Um.

Speaker 26 Oh, how was your week?

Speaker 21 Pretty good. I really liked being on.
I've liked being on vacation, a little bit of R ⁇ R and the...

Speaker 21 on the Bargarian Jade.

Speaker 21 It's been, I guess, up and down tense with you. But.

Speaker 5 Is that what we talk about on date?

Speaker 21 Oh, I don't know. Sorry, I was.
Okay. Um, I don't know how to do this.

Speaker 28 Um,

Speaker 26 I um

Speaker 26 we should just jack.

Speaker 15 We should just check it.

Speaker 21 Okay, climbing in.

Speaker 34 Well, this rock is uh, I mean, this one, Tony.

Speaker 34 And this rock, I named it, Tony.

Speaker 34 I mean this rock, Tony.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 38 Tony was the name of my

Speaker 38 friend.

Speaker 4 Oh no.

Speaker 4 That,

Speaker 8 really explains so much in a sad way.

Speaker 6 You have to get out of here as soon as you can.

Speaker 6 Make sure your ship doesn't find anyone.

Speaker 38 Love is bad. Love ruins things.

Speaker 8 I'm not sure that's a takeaway, but I'm going to try to get off of the cruise ship as fast as I can.

Speaker 16 As fast as I can.

Speaker 32 Yeah, another guy.

Speaker 10 Hey, yeah.

Speaker 8 How's that screenplay?

Speaker 3 Leave the tracks.

Speaker 11 Hey, hey,

Speaker 8 Yeah, uh, C53, listen, you gotta think you gotta chill out just a little bit.

Speaker 27 Bito loves chilling out.

Speaker 12 Alright.

Speaker 8 Okay, uh, hey, C5G, uh, quick question. This is super fun.
Can I just actually see your cube slot for you?

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 9 Bito's still wired. Okay, Bino, calm down.

Speaker 24 I can use a drink. Uh, can I get a tank of cherry gasoline for one?

Speaker 32 Yes.

Speaker 7 Can I have a straw?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 24 Alright.

Speaker 31 You know, love.

Speaker 24 Love is hard. Because it's crazy that two people can actually, at the same time, feel the same thing.
You know, that's scientifically impossible. You know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 12 Also, everyone is honestly a disappointment.

Speaker 24 Because because everyone has their problems, everyone brings their baggage, no one everyone's thinking about themselves, they don't think about the other person.

Speaker 24 What am I gonna do? I'm just yeah, I'm just I'm okay being my with myself. I'm okay being just Bargy.

Speaker 24 I don't need a heavy weight carrying me down. You know what I mean? Bargie, is that you? Uh

Speaker 24 you probably don't even remember me.

Speaker 24 Maybe this will ring a bell. belly toot toot toot

Speaker 24 hello tiny how are you i am like so good i see i see uh you're killing it you're uh

Speaker 24 congratulations for uh

Speaker 24 for what i've had so many accomplishments oh and congratulations again for uh the whole delegator blown up thing they said it was you so you know

Speaker 24 that's true oh i mean that's like so

Speaker 24 just like

Speaker 24 last,

Speaker 24 I don't know, season. It's like

Speaker 24 so much has happened for me since then.

Speaker 24 I've pitched so much, and I've been in so much. Yeah, me too.
I've only had to do it. Also, really, what have you been up to? Oh, just a couple of

Speaker 24 indie films that are in development.

Speaker 24 Oh, who's this?

Speaker 24 He's a no-and-yes ship. He's a no-yeser.

Speaker 24 He's just... Anyway, definitely the yes.
Listen to the yes. Don't listen to the no.
I've been doing a lot. I've been working out.

Speaker 32 Yes.

Speaker 24 My engine is definitely smaller than before.

Speaker 24 Booking so many things.

Speaker 24 I'm doing very well. I'm dating.
I'm dating a really nice shit. You're dating?

Speaker 35 But why would you be here?

Speaker 29 It's all about that.

Speaker 24 That lifestyle where you date, but you also are single, when you're not on the job, when you're innocent. Hey, Bargie, are you sure my dad's dead?

Speaker 8 Are you sure?

Speaker 24 You said that you went on that mission and he you got all the keck on you and everything?

Speaker 24 Sorry, guys. This is a kid is naming the movie.
I was in.

Speaker 24 Are you sure your dad is dead? I was the lead of it. It's an indie film.
A little direct. You may not know his name yet, but his name is Jar

Speaker 24 Jark. Jars.

Speaker 25 Hey, Pleck,

Speaker 8 how did did your date go with that boil, the lady with all the boils?

Speaker 3 It wasn't a date. What do you mean?

Speaker 8 I was hanging out with the boil person because you guys were jucking in the bathroom.

Speaker 26 Well, listen, we.

Speaker 15 This is a single screws. And also,

Speaker 47 we didn't want to juck. We had to.

Speaker 26 We realized we have zero in common except for our extreme attraction.

Speaker 21 But Pleck, you were on a date. That was a date.

Speaker 21 I mean, she definitely thought it was a date.

Speaker 15 We heard her naming some of her rocks after you. What?

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Wax.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'll name this one more.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, Pluck.

Speaker 26 I think you should go over there and figure it out.

Speaker 4 Oh, man.

Speaker 38 That one's not quite.

Speaker 36 Hey, Sarah. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hey, um, what other kinds of activities do you guys have on the cruise ship?

Speaker 9 Wow. Because we've been...

Speaker 8 I know we're going to be here for 14 days.

Speaker 3 We've been here for like 25 minutes.

Speaker 8 I feel like I sort of, unless there's like another couple rooms, I think we've sort of seen all of the activities.

Speaker 24 Well, if you guys are still a little bored, we do have a crafting station.

Speaker 19 Oh I could do some crafting.

Speaker 8 Yeah that sounds great.

Speaker 31 Terrific. Okay.

Speaker 24 So over here are our large sticks and here we provide you with sort of a rubbery band thing and then over here sort of a bludgeoning type ball.

Speaker 19 And with that.

Speaker 3 Sort of look all like

Speaker 3 sort of weapons.

Speaker 24 So with the right amount of rope usage you can tie this together into a nice sort of slingshot type weapon that could kill any of your enemies in an instant. Enemies?

Speaker 9 Throw it right at the neck.

Speaker 3 That sounds really fun.

Speaker 8 But could you just give me a second? I'm going to actually talk to my friend C53 for a minute.

Speaker 9 Just to get this cube back in.

Speaker 7 Is it...

Speaker 18 My optical sensor, how bright is it?

Speaker 8 No, it pretty much hasn't changed.

Speaker 11 God, your voice is so loud and greedy.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 24 Hey, what are you even doing on here? Aren't you hauled deep in all these other smaller younger ships? But the thing is, Bargie, they're all just fans. They're just so

Speaker 24 many fans. I mean, just

Speaker 24 so many fans are.

Speaker 24 What I'm not finding, Bargie, is

Speaker 24 companionship.

Speaker 24 Yep, great seeing you. You look great.
Hope to bump into you. Often, definitely on the bottom of the body.
Absolutely.

Speaker 31 Everything

Speaker 2 will affect me.

Speaker 24 Again, all the work I went into trying to forget you. Definitely, everything's great.

Speaker 24 Anyway, I'll see you later. Have fun.
Goodbye.

Speaker 8 Well, you know, Sarah, this has been a great afternoon.

Speaker 10 Thank you.

Speaker 8 I'm just trying to wrap my head around what the next two weeks is going to look like.

Speaker 24 Oh, okay. Yeah, well, this was just day one.

Speaker 19 Sure.

Speaker 39 Days two through 14.

Speaker 24 Super exciting stuff. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 24 Basically, you'll split off into groups that are maybe not even based on your original cruise, and you'll eventually form factions based on dwindling resources, by which, of course, I mean greedy.

Speaker 24 You'll sort of subconsciously elect a leader, spokesperson of the group, to speak for the needs of your group.

Speaker 24 And then you'll sort of subconsciously also pick out a rent of your group who you'll sacrifice at the earliest possible convenience.

Speaker 21 Don't do not look forward to that part.

Speaker 24 Eventually, you'll all

Speaker 13 Okay,

Speaker 13 sorry.

Speaker 7 The crafting function provided sufficient time for you to craft a deadly

Speaker 34 train without stop.

Speaker 3 Hold on a second.

Speaker 8 Sarah, why would you do this? Why would you make a place like this?

Speaker 24 Because this is what we studied that you do.

Speaker 8 I mean, yeah, that's fair. That's actually fair.

Speaker 21 I guess that always eventually happens.

Speaker 11 Sarah, if I can point out something you may have missed during your research, we don't like a lot of the things that we do.

Speaker 33 Why?

Speaker 24 Why do you do things you do not like to do?

Speaker 16 Now that is a good question.

Speaker 34 Don't have a great answer to it.

Speaker 14 Also, Sarah's second question.

Speaker 11 Do you have any more hyper proteins? No, no, C-533,

Speaker 11 but

Speaker 12 you can't get it

Speaker 12 down.

Speaker 10 It's really not yet.

Speaker 24 I mean, I can show.

Speaker 8 It's going to be a rough couple weeks. I just want to say, before we get any further, Nermit, I promise not to sacrifice you or make you the runt.

Speaker 21 Don't make any promises you can't keep.

Speaker 13 Look.

Speaker 19 Barges right upside the window, yeah.

Speaker 7 We can hear you, Barger.

Speaker 28 Sarah, can we uh Bart, it looks like our ride's here.

Speaker 8 Can we take off?

Speaker 31 Oh, Bargie, you're leaving the cruise early.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I'm leaving the cruise early. This was a sinister plan.
Chain Shane is an evil ship.

Speaker 24 He just brings all the single ships back together without realizing that some of them are historing with some of them. They just didn't want to see them, and it just ended up happening.

Speaker 24 He just unravels all the work that they did to get better, and now you're just back to square what? Let's get inside.

Speaker 21 Oh, guys, look in the corner. They're starting to form factions.

Speaker 24 Oh, day two begins. It's so nice.

Speaker 21 Let's get that gravy

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess we should get out of here.

Speaker 24 Well, thanks so much for coming. I do hope you know that the crews you already paid are non-refundable for the two weeks.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Pretty standard. Sarah, I can't say that your research has been very accurate,

Speaker 8 but thanks for your attempt at hospitality.

Speaker 24 Thank you so much. And you know, I don't want you guys to leave empty-handed.
This is usually what we'd give someone who survived the 14 days.

Speaker 24 Little takeaway bags of gravy, just for you guys.

Speaker 10 thank you.

Speaker 11 Sarah, just quick question. Could I swap my gravy for no, see, no, see?

Speaker 10 Let's go.

Speaker 11 I am begging you, please.

Speaker 20 This is a little uncomfortable for me, but uh I'd like to say to everyone on the ship, I

Speaker 18 apologize for my behavior aboard Sarai.

Speaker 37 Now I got a little out of control.

Speaker 18 Um

Speaker 17 are you doing a 12-step thing?

Speaker 11 A what?

Speaker 9 Oh, I just never mind.

Speaker 18 No, I'm apologizing.

Speaker 26 Okay, I'm making amends with all of you, but you're still stepping in place.

Speaker 9 Yeah, what is what is this?

Speaker 8 You're on vacation. You're on a cruise, so you don't get weird.

Speaker 17 I guess I just don't like myself when I'm

Speaker 41 just keep me away from it in the future.

Speaker 17 Also, he has

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 8 no, no.

Speaker 24 No, I uh just had memories.

Speaker 26 Archie, how was it for you?

Speaker 24 It's fine, I'm dating someone else now.

Speaker 28 Oh, congrats! Who's good for you?

Speaker 3 He delivers shrimp?

Speaker 24 So, yeah, we're just gonna hang out, see what happens. We're not gonna define it.
We're gonna see, you know, how his shrimp schedule works with my non-shrimp schedule.

Speaker 24 So it's a new thing, no exciting development in my life.

Speaker 8 Was this ship on the cruise or was the ship just on the ship?

Speaker 24 No ask any personal questions. Okay, that's one thing with a flaw.
Um, I'm gonna distract myself now, and I'm gonna help Bino with a script.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah, how'd that screenplay turn out, guys?

Speaker 11 Screenplay?

Speaker 27 Been a love it.

Speaker 26 You started writing the screenplay with Bino.

Speaker 7 I do not remember that.

Speaker 27 Beano has screenplay.

Speaker 27 Been would love table read.

Speaker 30 Be loved table read.

Speaker 6 Let me start reading it now.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 24 Who's doing what role?

Speaker 21 I'll play the runt.

Speaker 27 Beano play Bino.

Speaker 20 I can just read these.

Speaker 11 Stage directions.

Speaker 26 Okay, I guess then I'll read for C53.

Speaker 24 I'll read for Cleck's.

Speaker 7 Am I in this script?

Speaker 24 I'm reading for Pleck.

Speaker 3 Alright, I'll read for Bargy.

Speaker 34 Feed in.

Speaker 11 Interior.

Speaker 18 Private Eyes Office.

Speaker 16 Night.

Speaker 14 A glass drawer reads.

Speaker 34 Bino.

Speaker 18 Private investigator.

Speaker 26 Yes, it would appear that our security officer has has been murdered.

Speaker 27 Bino, what mysteries?

Speaker 24 My name is Pleck, and I'm a tiny little boy, and I just poop my pants.

Speaker 26 Uh, you'll have to excuse my associate emissary, Pleck Dexetter. He is incontinent.

Speaker 24 Oh, no, all of it's just drip, drip, dripping out of my pants. I can't keep it in.
My pants are heavy.

Speaker 27 Bino recognized that this was gonna be trouble.

Speaker 14 How much of this did I write?

Speaker 1 This is Sea Red IT5, Credits and Attributions Droid, commencing outro protocol. Emissary Pleck Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.
C-53 and and the Yes No Bartender Ship were played by Jeremy Benn.

Speaker 1 Security Officer Dar and Tiny Toots were played by Ali Kokesh. Bargie the Ship was played by Mujan Zolfagari.
Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy was played by Seth Lind.

Speaker 1 Bino, the Stroidminer, and the Shrimp Delivery Ship were played by Winston Knoll. Cruise Director Sarah was played by special guest Reika Shankar.

Speaker 1 Reika is currently the head writer for Call Achievement Originals.

Speaker 1 You can see her work at Reikashankar.com and watch her perform in LA at Mess Hall at UCB Sunset or hosting Ha Ha Wow by Reductress Monthly at The Virgil. Follow her on Twitter at Reika L.
Shenkar.

Speaker 1 This episode was edited by Jeremy Benn. The sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.
Recorded at Braun Studios West in Los Angeles. Music by Brendan Ryan.

Speaker 1 And special thanks to listener Robbie DeLosher and his bandmate Adam Belatto for their jazz cover of our theme song used in this episode.

Speaker 1 Check out their awesome jazz versions of classic video game themes at 8-bitjazheroes.com. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.
Ship designed for the Bargary and Jade by Eric Goyce.

Speaker 1 Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom. Thanks, Audioboom.
Want to hear exclusive live episodes and mailbag episodes, see behind-the-scenes features, chat with the crew, and way more?

Speaker 1 Then join our heroic supporters on Patreon, who make this show possible at patreon.com/slash mission to zix.

Speaker 1 Or if you can't help out croon-wise, there are goodies for all on our Instagram at mission to Zix.

Speaker 36 Toot toot.

Speaker 8 I must say, you are a beautiful ship. Can I say that?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm

Speaker 5 not sure.

Speaker 8 You have the refined elegance of a ship that's really, you know, lived a storied and interesting life, but with respect, with dignity.

Speaker 24 You mean you're not so bad looking yourself, huh?

Speaker 46 Thomas, you're supposed to just be delivering supplies.

Speaker 46 I have a plan, Seth.

Speaker 40 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 8 I know it's soon, but can I ask you a personal question?

Speaker 5 Of course.

Speaker 5 Why not?

Speaker 8 How do you feel about Tellurians who are piloting a ship that is not sentient looking out the window and talking to you through a microphone?

Speaker 24 Is that what's happening right now?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm just a Tellurian on this unsentient ship.

Speaker 46 It's not going to work out.

Speaker 24 Fair enough. That's great.
For a moment, I thought there was something nice out there.

Speaker 5 Can we do that?

Speaker 10 And now Seth can say.

Speaker 46 No, can we do one where it is like a delivery ship, but Bargie's like, that's the one she's the most about.

Speaker 8 Yeah, here's the shrimp.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Okay.
Yeah.