212: Crystal Boo-Boo Persuasion [ft. Arnie Niekamp, Adal Rifai & Matt Young]

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is mission to

Nermit, hey,

I got your heat rock set up again.

Are you serious?

Yeah, well, you know, we still had it around and just figured, you know, let's plug that bad boy in.

I'm going to just hop up in there.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

It's good to have you back, buddy.

Thank you so much.

It's good to be back.

Wow.

Beano loves heat rock.

No, Bino, stop.

You can't.

You had it out for Bino?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We.

Bino loves heat rock.

Okay, occasionally we'd plug it in.

If Bino couldn't sleep, we would put Bino in the heat rock.

I initialed it.

I wrote my...

Okay, okay.

Alright, well, I'm just going to stretch out on it and.

Yeah, cool.

All right, well, you just chill there and.

Okay.

Okay.

You know, Nerma, you're actually going to.

I think you and Bino might actually really get along.

Really?

Is that a size thing?

You just think because Bino and I are the state closest.

to them?

Bino, Big Spoon.

Nermit Little Spoon.

Okay.

Honestly, I think Dar is Big Spoon, let's be honest.

Hey, Dar.

Yes.

How are you?

I don't know.

I probably shouldn't say this in a room with all of us in the same room at the same time.

Okay.

But I was just going to say, like, it's great, right?

Things are great now that everybody's all together again.

Um, Pleck, could I just talk to you?

Sure, yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Um,

yeah, Pleck, you know, things with with Nermit are um a little weird right now.

What?

Why?

Well, it's just we we had already agreed that you know, we didn't like the long distance thing, so we were just gonna, you know, see other people.

Oh, and now he's

on the ship.

Wait, are you like actively seeing somebody else right now?

I'm not actively seeing one someone else.

Oh, no.

You don't want to know what's going on.

Bino?

Hmm?

Do you want to play our fun game?

Mm-hmm.

Are we, wait, what are you guys doing?

I hear something about a game.

I like to remind everybody I hear all conversations to say.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I am maintaining my distance.

Thank you, C.

Just for reference, I can hear everything.

Yeah, thanks for watching.

Guys, can I just say something since there are all of us in the room at the same time?

Yeah, of course.

I think there might be too many of us here at once.

I would have to agree.

What?

What?

Alright, I let some more people in.

There was no one waiting

Bargie, did we have guests and you didn't tell us?

I want to tell you everything.

What am I, huh?

Your mom?

Wait, wait, is that...

Sorry, I'm the mom.

Yes, you are.

The only one there to greet me was Bargie, because she's everywhere all of the time.

You're welcome and woke.

Yeah, sorry.

I don't believe we've met.

I'm Emissary Pleck Dexter.

Oh, I'm Veteran Missions Operations Manager Volm Sunblighter.

Hello?

That's right.

I've come today with a mission for all of you.

Plus, these two young boys here.

Oh.

They must be scared straight.

I just don't like anything I hear from an adult.

I'm sorry, if we could just quickly touch on.

How old are each of you?

I'm 17 and a half.

Okay.

And I'm 17 and a fourth.

A fourth, I see.

These two young men have gotten themselves into all kinds of trouble, and I have to say that 17 is far too old to be counting half-birthdays.

I mean, that's true.

That's absolutely true.

Quarter birthdays.

Certainly.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to deliver these three crystals to the planet Vorbom.

Oh.

This is boring.

Now, these two boys, this teen Telurian and this teen droid.

Wait, do they...

I'm sorry, do they have names?

Yeah, you can call me Drake Fiskin.

Ooh.

Is that your real name?

Is that your name?

You can call me Drake Fiskin.

Alright.

For

a better alternative, we can call you Drake Fiskin.

But if you wanted to tell us your real name, you could.

Well,

it just sounds like a made-up cool name.

It is a made-up cool name.

I mean, you nailed it.

You absolutely nailed it because that's pretty cool.

Thank you, I thought it was pretty cool.

Is the fist part of Fiskin too much?

Oh, is it?

It's Fiskin?

It's Drake Fiskin.

So much better than my real name, Gavin Boo-Boo.

Oh, yeah, that's it for me.

That's not a real name.

That's self-awareness, though.

That's good for a 17-year-old to understand.

And what's your name, Kidda?

My name is AR33, but you can call me Alpine Nightly.

I'm gonna call you AR33.

I wish you wouldn't.

I've already forgotten your fake name.

Alpha Knightley.

I'll keep it.

No.

No, no, no.

AR-33.

Alright, guys, I got this.

I got this.

Everybody be quiet, okay?

I know this is a scared, straight situation, and uh, I did a couple movies where I scared some people's dress.

What you do was bad, but the world out there was worse.

So why don't you uh uh what was the rest?

Oh, Bargie, you're still close.

Oh, okay.

For a second, I was almost scared straight.

Yeah.

Wait, AR-33, how is it that a droid needs to be scared straight?

I was made with flaws to make me more angsty.

Oh, yeah, sure.

It's a controversial production, but you know, they wanted some versatility.

Yeah, so I could relate with Drake.

My dad gave me this disposition.

Yeah, that's.

I was made to be Drake's best friend.

That's how I got disposition.

Now, now, now.

There are three crystals to deliver to three different continents.

This position?

That was awesome.

Now, as Veteran Missions Operation Manager, I must insist that we focus on our task task.

Yes, watch your language, first of all.

Never use that combination of goose sound and footwear again to embarrass me.

Just chucking deprogramming now.

Splice my own wires.

Oh, boy.

Okay, listen.

So we gotta.

We'll deliver the crystals.

That's fine.

That's what you sound like.

Yeah, that is what you sound like.

Oh, that was so good.

That was very close to me.

Pretty close to what you sound like.

Look, my name is Jack Fudrucker.

Wait, wait, wait, you put it in the back.

That's pretty close, actually.

Yeah.

Emissary Ducksetta, I insist that you get this mission on

the point.

Yes.

Deliver the crystals.

Yeah.

Thank you, Normit.

Can I just stay here and send my jeans?

Sure.

Dart, that's not how you.

I'm sorry.

Do you have something to say to me, Normit?

Yeah.

I've been obviously trying to hug you, and you are like about this mission.

Oh, we're trying to scare these kids straight.

You want to send jexts?

You know, juck texts.

Yeah, I love those.

Oh, sure, we all love those, but he's 17 and a half.

Yeah.

we're very aware of that.

Everyone is aware.

Yeah, I'm jexting like butts.

So, you two nerds have never jexted in your life.

No, I've jetsted.

Jext re-butts.

If you're putting a subject line in your jext, you're doing it wrong.

Wait, send me one.

Uh, all right, here's one.

Yeah, read it out loud.

Um, come on, Drake, you got this.

Uh,

Mr.

Yeah, I'm going for it.

I'm totally gonna go for it.

This is

the

Okay, just like

Jism.

Did you just say the word jishm and nothing else?

Jism.

Okay, what was the jacks before that one?

Hi.

And the

jext before that one?

Why aren't you responding to my jexts?

So the chains, why aren't you responding to my jexts?

Hi, Jizam.

Yeah, I'm okay.

That was a beautiful recap.

Oh, back in the monarchy when I was a grand plot, I sent the most disgusting jacks everyone ever saw.

Okay, now, if you wouldn't mind reading a couple of your favorites out loud, I would certainly be pleased to.

Girl, you up?

I'm going to eat that ass.

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

Cogent.

Yeah, that's a jext.

What you can do that to an ass?

What?

This is not acceptable behavior for young men of your age.

You can't do these things for another six months and nine months.

Veteran Missions Operations Manager

feels like you're enabling these things in some way.

I have no idea of what you refer to, C53.

Is this usually how the scared straight program goes?

Do they talk about eating ass this much?

Every single time.

Yeah, you know, uh, Gavin, what did you do that you needed to be scared straight?

Did you, like, break a rule?

Did you get in a fight?

What happened?

I got this eye patch.

Uh, that was an infraction?

That is one of the early red flags.

When a young man puts on an eye patch, you must beware their next actions.

We must look for the warning signs.

We're still trying to figure out our personality.

Try it on some different things, you know?

Yeah.

Wait, so if you put on an eye patch, what did you do?

Remove my eye?

Wait, what?

Okay, so that actually does sound more horrifying than well.

No, I'm still pretty dangerous.

Like, another day, I came to school with a cane.

Yeah, he walked with a cane, and then at the last minute, he did a forward wow.

Yes, these sorts of affectations are exactly the sorts of things that we must be wary of.

That seems sort of like endearing, though.

Where do you guys keep your hats around here?

Where do we keep our hats?

No, don't encourage his affectations.

He's chosen

Okay, uh, hey, we've landed, so not that anybody cares, but I took the coordinates and I landed, and we're here to do the job that we're supposed to do.

Thank you, Bargy.

So, thank you, Bargy.

Thank you, Bargerian J.

Thank you.

Uh, you know, uh, VMOM Sunblighter, I think maybe uh, Gavin and I should go out and deliver these crystals.

Well, there are three different crystals that need to go to three different locations.

If you would like to have different members of the crew split up into the cross-class colours,

that's probably a better idea.

It seems like a way we could really cut through some of the chaos.

Yeah.

Sure.

Beeno think the droids should go together, Gavin and Plex should go together, and Dar, Nermit, and Vom Sunbider should go together.

That's what Beethoven thinks.

Yeah, let's just put the droids together.

They're a poodle.

C-53, could I speak to you for a moment, please?

I think it's very important

that AR-33 has a role model such as yourself.

Alpine

has a role model such as yourself, someone who has years of experience, but he can see himself reflected in you.

Very well, I'd be happy to accompany him.

Hey, guys, this is fun.

Should we just keep talking about splitting up?

Yes, let's go over the plan one more time.

Okay, very good.

All right, I'll be the note keeper.

Thank you.

Let the note-taking begin.

All right.

So, Emissary Doug Settle accompanies Gavin Bumboo, and they will deliver one crystal, myself, and Alpine Knightley will deliver the second crystal.

And

veteran missions operations manager Volm Sunblinder, Missions Operations Manager Nervit Bundeloy, and Dar will deliver the third crystal.

Okay, great.

Sounds excellent.

Servant, do you want to read that back?

Oh, I.

Ah, dang it.

I didn't hit save.

Attention, this is Captain Hark Turnagas transmitting from halfway under the seat of my fighter.

Here's hoping I can use my foot to steer around the temporal rifts while I rewire this hyperdrive.

Looks like someone took a Thurousian hammer to it, but I believe I've got the thing nearly fixed.

Escaping this haunting, no-sentience land is a top priority.

Second only to writing my advice column.

Yes, indeed.

Over on the rebellion.space, you can read my answers to tough questions sent in by confused, searching rebels.

And heck, send in your own question and receive some tough love back from Arc.

I don't know everything, but whatever I've learned in the aerial trenches of this noble rebellion, I am honored to share.

And while you're at the rebellion.space, why not check out the gorgeous poster for Turkmannekin's RevTalk?

Lend a hand cracking some troublesome encrypted messages.

Read Rolfus Tittle's essential guide to neutralizing clints, and then click Make a Site, which links to squarespace.com slash 6, where you can use the offer code ZIX, Z-Y-X-X, to get a free Squarespace trial and a discount on your order of a site or domain.

Because why not turn your cool idea into a beautiful website?

Those righteous URLs, once again, squarespace.com/slash six, offer code six, and the rebellion.space.

Oh, baby, in the words of my favorite musician, Jordan Bakorkin, we're flying.

Clark Turnergast, signing off!

All right, now, Gavin, I'm gonna I'm gonna entrust you with this gem.

This is what we have to deliver to

the representative of this continent.

Alright, I guess I'll put it in this fanny pack.

Perfect.

That's actually ideal.

Is that a rebellion-issued fanny pack?

Yeah.

But I also got one for the Federated Alliance.

I got it in a thrift shop.

Okay, yeah, that's fine.

I spent a lot of time there, like, I'm just looking for stuff.

Like, a lot of times I like shirts that have, like, designs from things, like, before I was even born.

I don't even know what they mean.

Oh, well.

You know, Kevin, you seem like a sensitive kid, you know?

No, I'm tough.

You have two fanny packs and a vintage t-shirt on.

Yeah,

right.

Why are you staring off into the distance right now?

I'm just thinking about a poem.

Okay, wow.

Kevin, you know, I think that this is the right work for you, you know.

You're out here, you're having an adventure.

This is a great way to connect with yourself, you know, and figure out who you really are.

Yeah.

Mr.

Deck Setter?

Um, you don't have to just call me Pleck.

That's fine.

Pleck, can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Like

how did you become an adult?

Uh

like what happened between when you were young and now?

Wow, you know, that is a really interesting question, Kevin.

I continued to be

the same, and then it used to be people are like, you're a kid, and now people are like, I can't believe you're acting like that as an adult.

That's sort of what happened.

It's just sort of people started judging me differently.

Oh, Rod.

Oh, no.

Did I?

I probably upset you with that, didn't I?

Adults don't know anything more than I do.

Uh, yeah, no, that's actually super true, especially in my case.

So, yeah, if you think suddenly like a switch is gonna flip and you're gonna be like, you got it all figured out, wow, watch out.

Uh,

oh, uh, yes,

I am the

representative of continent

number one.

Oh,

how convenient.

Great.

Yes.

You just always stand here at the border.

I am the representative of continent number one.

Great.

Yeah, good.

That makes our job super easy.

Looks like I have two children in front of me.

Oh, well, I'm actually.

I'm not a kid.

I think I have two children in front of me.

Well, you got one, you know, technically a child and a technically adult.

You're both children.

You acting like a child and you

a child.

You are very much a child.

Mr.

Dexetter, is it possible that this creature's language only has about seven words in it?

It seems like what it's maybe.

Two children, continent number one.

Like, at first, I thought he was coming at us pretty hard, but I think

he's...

Continent two, children one.

Oh, is this a sc is that the score?

What are you...

What is happening?

I think maybe do we just like walk past it?

I don't know if this is actually the

continent two children.

One One continent, two children.

Oh, man.

Children?

One.

Continent.

Children, two.

Wow.

You just communicated with that guy.

I had no idea what he was saying.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know what I said either.

Oh, man.

Gavin, see, this is what I'm talking about.

I think you really navigated that well.

You fake it till you make it.

Yeah, yeah, good, good.

Hi, did you guys just pass the...

the sentry there?

Yeah, we were...

It took us a second.

Only speak seven words?

Yeah, yeah.

A lot about children and continents.

Is it always the same?

It's always the same.

You know, I gotta say, I don't know how often this happens, but we really thought he was talking about the two of us specifically.

For a second, it was really bracing.

Great.

You guys make a great team.

Are you both emissaries or?

Well, I'm Emissary Plug Dexter.

This is Gavin Boo Boo.

He's Emissary in Training.

I guess you might say.

Maybe someday.

Well, young Tellurian, you seem less like an emissary in training and more like a real emissary today.

Yeah.

Wow.

Just put the crystal right there.

That'll power the rest of the continent for the next few cycles.

Really?

Wow.

Let me unzip my fanny pack.

There we go.

Great.

Very practical.

Very cool.

Thanks.

Alright.

I'm getting a lot of validation from adults.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, well, uh, is there anybody we need to fight or any kind of uh...

Well, you got past the century.

Uh.

Did you learn a lesson?

Kind of.

I think I learned that you shouldn't be scared of what people say to you because you just are you inside, no matter what.

Man, you got all of that?

Yeah.

Did you not get a lesson at all?

No, I just was just sort of.

Pluck, you didn't get anything.

No, I just really didn't get anything.

The young one really seemed to come into his own in this mission.

Man, yeah.

And he just nothing.

Yeah, no, nothing.

I don't know.

Well, you seem like a jacket idiot to me.

Oh, that seems rude.

Hey, kid.

Yeah.

You got a future.

Huh.

Thanks.

I don't know if I like this very much.

Well, I mean, it's what's happening, so.

I don't know more exciting, and I just feel like I could be doing any of this at home, like, in my brain.

Well, you can't deliver a crystal in your brain.

You sound like a white noise machine.

I hate you.

ARFIN3.

A lot of aggression, right?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm getting a lot of aggression, Dad.

Well, that's what I'm getting it, and I'm not your father.

Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see.

I'm gonna make you my father.

I mean, that would be a surprise for me.

By assuring you're gonna be my dad, Dad.

Alpine, if that's what you really want, we can.

I don't know what I want.

Okay, that.

Now that sounds right.

I mean, I guess if I'm being honest with myself, I want you to listen to my poetry.

I'm fine.

I would love to listen to your poetry.

Okay.

Keepers, a proper cup of coffee in a copper coffee pot.

Okay.

Was that all?

Oh, sorry.

What the junk

just sounded like.

Are you gonna listen?

What you were doing sounded like a poem, and I was about to go.

No, it's a vocal warm-up.

Okay.

Okay, here we go.

I'm ready.

Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.

Now that one was

come on.

It's hard to know.

Metal poetry begins it.

Okay.

Metal.

Clang.

Where does it ladder?

I was in the middle of poetry.

Yeah, we were sort of having a moment, so if you could excuse us for just a moment.

Me and my daddy were having a moment.

Okay, well, uh, I'm just, I'll be here.

Dad, did you ever write poetry?

Me?

Yeah.

My daddy till six lines.

I can try.

I haven't used the subroutine in many years, so

um.

Oh, warm up.

Yep, no.

Um,

toy boy, toy boy, toy boy, toy boy.

Toy boy.

Ilamo, did you get the crystal yet?

Everyone below is about to die.

Maybe we should.

Yep, my whole continent is moments from death.

We've been waiting for a crystal.

Thank you.

Okay, all right.

Uh, well, uh Alpa, do you do you have the crystal?

Do you have nightmares?

I have nightmares.

I would say are George supposed to have nightmares?

I think no.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

That's what we're gonna have.

Here, come here.

What was my mic?

Alpa, I know we're getting pretty deep into this fiction that I'm your father, but I don't think I'm actually.

I mean, I assume you, like me, rolled off an assembly line.

I'm from the Ronka Cybernetics Corporation.

I'm from the Rocket Cybernetics Corporation.

And I'm from Planet Continent Number Two.

Oh, right.

Alpine, do you have that crystal?

Yeah.

Here, it's in my second mouth.

Okay.

Will this do?

Is this what you're?

Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Okay.

Sorry, you didn't.

No, it's fine.

It's just you came right up to me and you just were four inches away from me having a conversation.

Have you ever dealt with an at-risk team?

Yes.

Yeah, we just ship them off.

Oh, see, that's very different than what we do.

So, veteran missions operations manager, um, Valm.

Sunblight us.

I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

I'm just nervous because I honestly, like, I don't meet a lot of veteran missions operations managers, and I just want to climb up on this rock to shake your hand.

Oh, well, it would be my pleasure to shake your hand.

Oh, wow.

Nermit, was it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm a

missions operations manager.

Nermit, what do you say for the rest rest of this mission?

You ride on my shoulder.

Oh my gosh, honestly, I was gonna ask, and I thought he'll never say yes.

Oh no, please jump aboard.

Wow.

Before you came over just now, I was telling Dar about my days in the monarchy and the sort of truly depraved orgies we would have back then.

I really felt we were getting close to something until you joined us, Nermit.

So, Crystal?

Yes, it's only about 40 clicks from here.

We should be there in no time.

But Dar,

you have never engaged in an orgy before?

Um, I have never indulged in such a small, intimate orgy as you have.

There is something about a double-digit orgy that is just so intimate and life-affirming that I can't really describe it other than to say, I don't care who lives under the thumb of such an oppressive ruler.

All I know is my needs are being met in every possible way I could imagine, and some I couldn't even conceive before.

But those clicks aren't gonna click themselves, right, guys?

We should, we're not, we're just standing here.

No, man, so let's just go for it.

Okay, yeah.

Hey guys, guys.

Hi.

Welcome to continent number three.

Oh, man.

It's great to see you guys.

We're just a couple of...

We're just a couple.

We're just a couple of

people.

In love.

In love and into it, and just making it work and trying to power this continent.

That's crazy, because we're sort of a couple, and then this is...

You are, you're a couple.

Well, there are three of you, so that's not by definition not a couple.

Exactly.

None of us three are a couple.

Yes, that is correct.

We are an envoy of the rebellion, and it is our pleasure to give you this crystal today.

Incredible.

Thank you.

Do you have anything to give us?

Just some advice about love.

Oh, we do have a little bit of advice.

Yeah.

Great.

Just a little.

Maybe Nermit could stay here and hear that advice.

Okay.

Yeah.

I would really like to just, you know, pick your brain

just over here privately.

Oh, behind the big rock?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Dar, I'm going to take great notes about all of this love advice because I know we're having like a moment right now where it's there's some tension, but I'm just gonna take it all in.

It's gonna work for us.

Okay, let me take you off my shoulder here.

Oh, okay.

Yep.

Great.

So they're going behind the ass eating rock.

And while they do that, we'll just give you a few quick

explainers

about how just gosh, how to make it work.

You can.

We're very big influencers here on the continent.

And one lesson I think we know is just listen.

Just listen.

Okay.

Just listen.

Is the ass-eating rock what it sounds like?

Bino want to hear the story of Bino.

I'll tell you the story of Bargie.

He said, Bargie, I'm calling you Bargeria Jade, and you've got to become the most famous ship in all the land.

And I said, who are you?

You're a creepy person.

But I went with him into a dark other second location.

And you know what he said to me?

Bino now.

He said, sign this contract, and I couldn't read, so I was like, I'll go for it, even though every instinct inside my body said, Don't trust a man who just picked you out of this bar in space.

Yes, I was in a bar when I was underage, but I had nobody telling me what to do.

You know what I mean?

I was an independent ship since day one, so I went to him to another location, and I met some more men.

You know what they said?

They said, Baji, we're gonna put you in the movies, and they did.

And I went all the way to the top, and then you know what they said?

Be no.

They said you were too old.

So, that's all we are now.

Beanu Hungi.

You know, Gavin, I know you're feeling pretty good about this mission.

Nice job, but

I gotta say, I feel a little bit distressed.

What's wrong, Pleck?

I know.

I don't can I help?

I know, I appreciate that, but I just feel like I

kind of took what that sentry said to heart, and even though I know it was just an automaton that only knows seven words, I

really started to think, you know, what...

what makes me an adult and not a child?

I don't know.

Well, you know what, Pleck, I feel like I've done a lot of growing up in the last 15 minutes.

Yeah, I think you're taller than you were before.

Yeah, and you know what?

I think I have a goatee now.

Oh, how is that possible?

But you know what, Pleck, if I've learned anything, it's that.

If you see yourself as a boy, you're always gonna be a boy.

It's like you're giving yourself permission not to be an adult.

Yeah.

I think you're right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Here, hold my top hat.

Okay.

Here, take my fanny pack.

Okay, yeah, sure.

I'm just gonna, just so I can hold your fanny pack, I'm gonna put this top hat on so I have a free hand to hold your fanny pack.

Yeah, and here's here's my eye patch.

Oh, okay.

Uh, you know what, actually, to hold the eye patch, I'm gonna put this fanny pack on.

Here's my other fanny pack.

Okay, I'm gonna put on the eye patch to uh, just out of hand, so I gotta put

okay, all right.

Okay, he's pointing right at me.

That's

I feel like I'm taking a step backwards, Gavin.

I gotta say, look, it's all right, Pleck.

It's like a horoscope.

You can look into it and think that it's talking about you.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

Pleck Dex.

That doesn't seem right.

I'll pin.

I was very affected by your poem.

Darren.

Yeah.

The part where you said

metal clown.

You were really listening.

I mean, you were really listening to me.

That's true.

Metal does clang.

I feel heard.

I'm glad to hear it.

I'm glad it happened.

And I know you're not my real dad.

Like, I know that, but it just feels good to say those words sometimes and to have a presence that you know is accepting.

I understand.

I don't want to be like this.

No.

I feel like I got bees inside me.

Do you have bees inside you, Miss Dad?

Yeah,

I found a hive and put it inside one of my mouths.

I know that's a cool thing with young droids these days, but maybe it's time to let that hive go.

Yeah,

I'll let it go.

Okay.

Bye, bees.

Goodbye, bees.

Bye, bees.

Why are they saying bye bees?

Why are the bees saying bye bye?

Bye, bees, though.

Bye, guys.

bye gay.

Maybe.

Oh, that's nice.

Well, that's good.

That was beautiful.

I won't forget camp.

No, no one should forget camp.

I don't.

I feel weird that I'm so emotional all the time and you.

It feels like you got it figured out.

I know it might seem that way.

Oh, bye, but to be honest, I'm just as emotional as you.

Yeah?

I just maybe have a little more experience dealing with those emotions.

So, you're saying I should temper and hide my emotions, let them build up inside me like a like a hive of bees that's not there, a metaphorical hive of bees?

Well, Alpine, um, some droids are fitted with a restraining bolt, and then their emotions leave the house.

No, they can leave the house, but they can never express their emotions.

The bolt prevents them from feeling anything.

I'll eat your ass.

Give it to me.

I don't have one to give you, but

I'm here to tell you that a restrained bolt is not a good idea.

It's very uncomfortable to live a life where you can't express what you actually feel.

Hey, can you guys move?

I have to leave for lunch, and I just can't move because you're you guys are just four inches.

Yeah, I'm just so bad about that.

Yeah.

And then we released a cloud of

water.

That was great.

Yeah, I'm just doing a very low pitch.

They were very nice, but they still stun.

One of the big things is just, you know,

have fun.

Have fun.

I just have so much fun.

Yeah.

Second, just be honest.

You know, say whatever you want to say and just say it because life is too short.

Have fun.

Have fun.

Have fun and say it.

Did we say be honest?

Be honest.

Got that one.

The thing you need to do is have fun.

Okay, that was the first part.

Part of it is just having fun with it.

Being honest.

Have fun and being honest.

Got those two.

Oh.

What?

I just didn't.

I didn't hit save, but luckily it was really a small amount of advice.

Okay,

so we're done talking.

Yeah.

We are all set.

Are we good to go?

We've got the crystal.

And we're having fun.

fun.

Just being honest.

Wonderful.

Well, it's the same number of clicks back to the ship.

Okay.

Let us be on our way.

Let us be on our way.

Dar, I just wanted to say that I had the most magnificent time with you.

I'm sorry.

No, just you guys had so much fun talking.

Nermit, I truly value honesty, so I'm afraid I must tell you that Dar and I behind that rock, we did many despicable, unspeakable acts to one another, the likes of which I haven't felt in ten or fifteen years.

Oh, how I wish I could go back to those days, and now I have just a little bit by sharing this moment of pure depravity with Dar.

Well, I honestly am not having fun.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

You should have come behind the rock.

Forget what that couple said.

The lesson is: always come behind the rock.

I did.

Got it.

I did.

I came behind the rock.

And I'm coming in the sky, so come on, who's coming up?

Well, guys, you know, I feel like we all learned a lot of lessons today.

And, you know, sometimes in the opposite direction that we thought.

Okay, great, cool.

Well, first of all, I learned that, you know, growing up is not as simple as getting older.

Gavin learned the same thing, but in a positive way.

And C53,

what did you and AR-33 learn?

Well, I think we learned a lot about sharing emotions and how repressing them can be bad.

Yeah.

Hey, AR-33, can I ask you a question?

Where are you?

Yeah, and thank you for calling me AR-33.

That's my given name.

Oh, yeah.

Cool, great.

What was your question?

wa-uh, are you um

that happens to me all the time?

I recognize that and I respect that.

Just because my dad could kill your dad doesn't mean that wait, who?

We're both not suppressing emotions at all times.

Thinks of me as his dad.

Why?

I don't get it.

Doesn't matter.

Well, if it helps, you could call me dad.

uh

yeah, I mean I do feel like I kind of look up to you that was a I mean you really killed that mission Gavin

These are several of the warning signs that I mentioned before

I just feel yeah well you know

I gotta say that mission

that mission made me a little bit angsty I feel like I you know, I kind of doubted myself.

I didn't feel very good about it.

And then this eye patch really kind of, you know,

it really reflects who I am now.

Also, it's covering up the eye that the keck laid an egg in.

It's actually not covering up that eye.

Yeah, she's

sitting on top of it.

Emissary, since you are not a teen, I cannot force you into the scared straight program.

But I can offer you to join voluntarily, or I can

join you in your quarters and have a private talk.

Yeah, Plague, if I could give you a bit of advice,

say yes.

Alright, uh,

all right, everyone, be quiet.

Figure it out.

I got the rest of the speech.

Alright, you ready to get scared straight?

I think I am, yeah.

Hey,

you might think this place is bad, but look outside, it's worse.

Why don't you go down

and there's a discount on oh, it was a commercial?

Oh, it was a commercial.

It was, but it was scared straight to the the store to go shopping.

It still speaks fine.

Still very effective.

Oh,

I'm getting a message.

I'm sorry, we have to leave now.

We have a new mission.

We have been tasked with getting a group of bees back together who spent one wonderful summer together.

Well, I hope you boys learned a lesson today.

I did.

You hope us men learned a lesson?

Well, you're still a few months away from that, AR-33.

I want you to come with me.

We have more missions to accomplish.

To bring back the monarchy.

Then now that I'm an adult man, I'm more effective than ever.

Excellent.

And then I made the the other Jordan Door think he was my dad.

Yes, I'm so proud of you, my two natural-born sons.

This is Sea Red IT5, credits and attributions droid commencing outro protocol.

Emissary Pleck, etc.

was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship and Continents 2 and 3 representatives were played by Mujan Zolfagari.

Bino, the Insulting Sentinel, and Continent 1 and 3 representatives were played by Winston Knoll.

Missions Operations Manager Never Bundaloy was played by Seth Lind.

This episode features special guests, Arnie Nikam, Adel Rafai, and Matt Young, who co-host the hilarious improvised fantasy podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern.

Subscribe now!

Veteran Missions Operations Manager Foam Sunblider was played by Matt Young.

Matt leads the crew of the USS Sisyphus as Captain Baxter in the Improvised Star Trek podcast.

And he's one of the co-creators and talents behind the podcast news magazine parody, The Pro.

He's also a proud member of the world-renowned Improvised Shakespeare Company.

You can follow him on Twitter at More People Happy or his magical ultra-ego at Isador the Blue.

Gavin Boo-Boo was played by Arnie Meekamp.

Arnie has designed and directed games like Druffle and Trivia Murder Party for Jackbox Games.

He's currently working on a new You Don't Know Jack game, which will be out this fall in the Jackbox Party Pack 5.

Follow him on Twitter at Mr.

Arnie.

AR33 was played by Adol Rafai.

Adol co-hosts the brand new puzzle podcast, Hey Riddle Riddle, and plays Adam on the podcast Siblings Peculaire.

You can find him on Twitter at AdolRafi.

This episode edited by Seth Lynde with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, Gravie Studios in Chicago, and Forever Dog Studios in Los Angeles.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening Call Narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargarian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission2Z is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

And a very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making season two possible.

Join them and get exclusive perks at patreon.com/slash mission to zix.

I'm sorry, we have to leave now.

We have a new mission.

We have been tasked with getting a group of bees back together who spent one wonderful summer together.

And I just got two brain jacks back from the girl that I sent my finger jacks to.

Hey, congratulations!

And I actually don't have to be anywhere, so I'll stay on the ship and I'll definitely be on the next episode.

AR33, I'm so glad you're a member member of the crew now.

It's Canon.

You may not always hear me, but I'm always here.

We love it.