210: A Wing and a Repair [ft. Sebastian Conelli]

Speaker 1 It is a period of civil war.

Speaker 3 The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Speaker 3 Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

Speaker 2 This

Speaker 2 is mission to the zinc.

Speaker 4 Hey, C-53.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 7 Uh, I've been thinking a lot about what that guy Foenix Ash said

Speaker 8 about

Speaker 7 the planet crusher crusher.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I was thinking about that too.

Speaker 2 The planet Crusher was already very large to make another ship capable of crushing a planet crusher.

Speaker 11 Yeah, also just how many planet crushers are out there to crush.

Speaker 8 I mean, there's a lot of planets out there to crush.

Speaker 7 Well, the real question is: like, who

Speaker 12 is that a good guy good guy or a bad guy?

Speaker 13 Bad guy.

Speaker 15 Yeah, hey, Bargie.

Speaker 7 You seem slightly more cantankerous than usual.

Speaker 16 Everything okay?

Speaker 18 Oh,

Speaker 17 everything kind of hurts right now.

Speaker 19 Whoa, what was that?

Speaker 8 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 17 I coughed out smoke.

Speaker 7 No, no, no, Bargie, when you did that,

Speaker 7 yeah, something solid fell from the ceiling.

Speaker 22 Oh, oh, I'm gonna need that.

Speaker 22 I've been trying to help Bargie out, just kind of, you know, banging things around, shifting things.

Speaker 17 None of it. I just end it right now.
Is this the end?

Speaker 23 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 8 Bargie, I've almost got it figured out.

Speaker 24 Dark, what have you done?

Speaker 2 Do you remember what happened the last time you tried to fix a ship?

Speaker 25 Every night when I closed my eyes.

Speaker 24 It didn't go well.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 9 And you haven't, you know, taken a class or anything in the past.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 23 I'm completely unlicensed, but Bargie and I have a special kinship, and I should just intuitively know how to fix it.

Speaker 19 Okay, we, you know, we have.

Speaker 2 No, I don't.

Speaker 7 Okay, well, I mean, Dar, the difference between Hark's ship and Bargie is that that Bargie can talk to us. So, Bargie, how about you just explain to the three of us what's going on in that, you know.

Speaker 7 Okay, sure. The four of us tell Bino and the rest of us what's happening in you, and we can try to, you know,

Speaker 7 give it a fix.

Speaker 17 Okay, my center parts, they look like a red, a reddish hurt.

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 6 The center parts?

Speaker 22 If I just open up this.

Speaker 27 Now I'm going to squeeze a bunch of different things, and you start shouting when it starts hurting.

Speaker 1 What is what can you even squeeze?

Speaker 7 No, stop, Bino.

Speaker 2 Don't. I'm just gonna pick you up here.

Speaker 29 Beano loves shit, pus. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 30 Beano love it.

Speaker 22 You heard him.

Speaker 12 Beano love it.

Speaker 10 That's right, he loves it.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 7 Listen, Bargie, can you do...

Speaker 22 But kids love you, but you love

Speaker 22 pus? So you can say love.

Speaker 12 You just felt like saying,

Speaker 7 sorry, listen, Bargie.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 We need that.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 How about a defense?

Speaker 22 I thought I was helping you.

Speaker 7 Okay, that's not a... Yeah, listen.

Speaker 7 Do we know any mechanics? Can we call Nermit? Maybe he has a hookup in the rebellion?

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's possible.

Speaker 10 Outgoing transmission to Missions Operations Manager.

Speaker 20 Nermit Bungloe.

Speaker 7 I wonder if he's just sitting in his. Oh, yep, there is.

Speaker 8 Hey, Nermit.

Speaker 8 I didn't make it for you. I made it for whoever likes it.

Speaker 24 I really do love that he doesn't have to answer.

Speaker 22 It just immediately takes my transmission.

Speaker 4 He just starts a feed.

Speaker 33 Nermit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Oh, hey, whoa, hey, what are you doing?

Speaker 9 Who are you talking to just now?

Speaker 22 Under your breath.

Speaker 34 I just like, I made the mistake. I try to never do this.

Speaker 35 You know how I put songs online?

Speaker 2 Berman deliver them.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I just like,

Speaker 34 you should never read the comments. I started reading the comments.

Speaker 12 Okay. Oh, boy.

Speaker 7 Listen, Nermit, Bargie is not feeling very good, and we think it might be like how it feels.

Speaker 35 Listen to this.

Speaker 7 No, no, no.

Speaker 22 No, no, no. I want to hear a couple of these things.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 34 Next time, try.

Speaker 12 I mean, that's

Speaker 12 to be fair. That's good advice.

Speaker 6 But I were

Speaker 10 if you think about that review. Yeah.
They're not saying that you didn't try this time.

Speaker 34 They just like they mean like I'm glad you tried this time

Speaker 7 and you should also continue to try.

Speaker 22 Wait, let's hear a couple more comments.

Speaker 35 I don't know.

Speaker 34 So, this says, I built a time machine to go back and make your parents not meet.

Speaker 18 Whoa, that's meaningful.

Speaker 25 That seems cool.

Speaker 34 So, anyway,

Speaker 11 what's going on with that?

Speaker 14 Oh, I tell

Speaker 7 Listen, Nermit, we need a mechanic.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think there's something wrong like physically with Bargie. Oh, gosh.
Not emotionally, like usual.

Speaker 20 Wait,

Speaker 12 I heard that.

Speaker 37 No, I just meant like, wait, I can see out the window.

Speaker 34 What is the wing is at like a weird angle?

Speaker 6 Listen, that was

Speaker 22 a mistake.

Speaker 7 It's partially damaged from the inside because Dar was trying to throw it.

Speaker 14 What's up? One, two.

Speaker 28 Uh-oh, that wing is gone.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 18 Wow. Just three.

Speaker 38 Oh, my gosh, that's the one wing.

Speaker 6 Um, in my

Speaker 22 non-professional opinion.

Speaker 39 Are you what

Speaker 7 could you possibly say, right?

Speaker 10 I didn't need to specify anything.

Speaker 22 It was non-professional.

Speaker 11 Nobody was

Speaker 22 under that impression.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 22 I think

Speaker 22 we need a professional. Cool.

Speaker 7 Thank you. Great, Dar.

Speaker 36 Wow.

Speaker 7 We might need like a

Speaker 36 toe.

Speaker 35 Oh, boy. Okay.

Speaker 22 Bargy, this ceiling is surprisingly clean.

Speaker 18 Yo, what?

Speaker 28 You guys are upside down.

Speaker 22 Yeah, since we flipped over, the ceiling, you keep it very clean. It's honestly cleaner than the floor.

Speaker 7 Oh, boy, the lights just went out.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think we're going to need to tow pretty quick, Nermit.

Speaker 34 Alright, guys, I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to make

Speaker 7 Thanks, Nermit. Okay.

Speaker 7 I can see that other window with your comments. Close them for now.
I will, I will.

Speaker 26 Oh my gosh, this bye.

Speaker 7 Hey, Bargie, just sit tight. We're gonna get a tow ship, I guess.
Um, now that the lights have gone off, like, how long would you say life support systems would have until

Speaker 17 how long it took me to realize tiny tooths was too tiny?

Speaker 12 Okay, great. Let's hope for that tower.

Speaker 22 How long if I pull out something like

Speaker 40 What are you doing?

Speaker 37 What are you doing?

Speaker 15 Centurion, honey.

Speaker 36 Mom, get out of my room.

Speaker 22 It's totally normal to master this.

Speaker 2 No, Mom.

Speaker 41 I'm listening to my favorite podcast, Teen Creeps. Because on Teen Creeps, host Kelly Nugent and Lindsay Kaytai dive into the best YA pulp fictions of the 80s and 90s, Mom.

Speaker 16 Okay, hey, that's a fun thing for you.

Speaker 36 Ugh, we're talking R.L.

Speaker 41 Stein, Christopher Pike, Lois Duncan, Babysitters Club. You wouldn't understand it.

Speaker 8 I don't.

Speaker 41 Why don't you go back to the stupid rebellion or making dad jealous?

Speaker 41 I'll be here listening to Kelly and Lindsay's dramatic reenactments from the book of the week and their awkward high school memories, which they dig up and parade around for everyone to hear because they're fearless.

Speaker 41 And their amazing, hilarious guests on this podcast book club that doubles as a sleepover.

Speaker 22 That's again very fun for you.

Speaker 40 You think I'm just a little kid, but I'm a reader, Mom.

Speaker 41 And deal with this. They talk about crazy titles like Nightmare Hall Number One, The Silent Scream, or Fear Street 15, The Prom Queen.

Speaker 41 So that's why I'm listening to Teen Creeps on the Forever Dog Podcast Network. I subscribed on whatever podcast app I wanted to, and I'm not telling you which one.
Rod!

Speaker 22 Okay, just use lotion.

Speaker 36 Alright, back it up.

Speaker 14 No, a little more.

Speaker 42 Back it up.

Speaker 42 Okay, there you go.

Speaker 42 Keep backing it up.

Speaker 18 Keep back.

Speaker 42 Keep backing it up.

Speaker 12 You went too far. Look it up.

Speaker 28 Alright, alright, moving forward, bitch.

Speaker 21 Alright, good. Now locking it in.

Speaker 17 Alright.

Speaker 43 This ship's a mess.

Speaker 7 Hey, sorry about having to get the toe, but

Speaker 7 glad you were so close. Thanks for thanks for taking us in.

Speaker 44 No, please, it's my job. What are you going to do?

Speaker 44 Yeah, there's no good time for a toe, you know?

Speaker 25 Yeah, I mean, that's true.

Speaker 40 That's it.

Speaker 46 Never a good time for a toe.

Speaker 47 I'm just happy that you guys are pretty happy. Sure.

Speaker 43 So, by the way, hey, how you doing?

Speaker 48 My name's 718 Tony.

Speaker 7 Hey, hey, 718 Tony.

Speaker 39 Shake my big hands.

Speaker 49 Oh, wow.

Speaker 21 You have the the big hand. Okay, great.

Speaker 10 So, quite a disparity in the size of the body.

Speaker 7 You have one really big hand and one really small hand.

Speaker 43 Yeah, I was born to be a mechanic, so my body has evolved to that way.

Speaker 51 So I got one big hand to like remove big objects.

Speaker 43 I got one little tiny hand to stick in little holes, you know?

Speaker 16 Look at my pinky.

Speaker 40 You see that little pinky finger?

Speaker 28 Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 22 I don't have one tiny hand.

Speaker 7 I mean, I guess.

Speaker 19 I'm not sure that's a problem.

Speaker 40 I got a Phillips head, pinky, and then the ring finger, flathead. Sure.
Gotta be.

Speaker 43 Of Of course, because you know, back in my ancestors' day, they only had one Phillips head, and then they get screwed over, they didn't have the flathead, so they evolved.

Speaker 21 Do you have a hex, do you have a hex somewhere?

Speaker 46 Oh, no, no, but hoping in a couple generations, we got it.

Speaker 40 We got a hex on our body, so yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 50 So, I could get out there, I could fix this all up for you. You know, it's pretty routine, so don't worry about it, okay?

Speaker 43 This is routine, I mean, it's routine for a mechanic like me. Is this ship a disaster?

Speaker 7 You mean, like, uh, emotionally, like a personality-wise?

Speaker 8 What the heck?

Speaker 43 I'm speaking physically, but if the ship's emotionally a disaster, I have a buddy that's a psychiatrist.

Speaker 40 Oh, sure, well,

Speaker 48 I would never go to a psychiatrist.

Speaker 4 Okay, I mean, sure, that's I wouldn't, because that's not part of my culture, okay?

Speaker 51 That's not part of my culture. I don't give a damn.

Speaker 48 I keep my feelings inside, okay?

Speaker 46 Sure.

Speaker 7 Well, listen, Tony, you know, I gotta say,

Speaker 7 oh, sorry, is 718, Tony, your whole name?

Speaker 43 Yeah, that's my full name.

Speaker 36 Okay, great.

Speaker 7 That should. What do you mean?

Speaker 9 718, Tony?

Speaker 46 No, this is the.

Speaker 48 I've repaired 718 ships.

Speaker 22 Wow, Bargie, you're in great hands. And one of them is small and one of them is big.

Speaker 14 Yeah, two great dissenters.

Speaker 43 Oh, boy. Oh, that does not sound good.
But don't worry.

Speaker 7 She sort of always sounds like that, but usually the size or the shorter.

Speaker 2 Technically worse now.

Speaker 36 Yeah, don't worry about it.

Speaker 44 I'll take care of this, no problem at all.

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 44 Let me go to the central controls.

Speaker 16 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 7 It's just right up the ramp.

Speaker 7 Kind of down the hallway. Yeah, so you can't.

Speaker 40 Slow down, slow down, slow down. So I got a bad foot.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 21 all right.

Speaker 7 It's just so it's just right in here.

Speaker 5 Cool.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Are you okay?

Speaker 21 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 47 What are you gonna do? You know, it's my gas foot.

Speaker 7 Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just a crowd of vapors.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, it's my gas foot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't worry about it.

Speaker 36 All right, what was it?

Speaker 16 Is this right in here? Yep.

Speaker 19 Oh, no.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 22 Yeah, I was gonna say you could see here where I first thought the diagnosis was that Bargee just needed a couple of wires pulled.

Speaker 44 No, you actually reversed the alternator and now we're gonna have to go in there and make sure that we get those charges back to negative and positive where they should be.

Speaker 22 Yeah. So I just kind of intermittently pulled wires.
Yep. Mostly based on color.

Speaker 46 Okay, can I tell you a secret?

Speaker 22 I would love to know a secret.

Speaker 44 Okay, don't do that ever again, again, okay?

Speaker 16 That's a secret.

Speaker 27 Hey, hey, don't listen to my secrets over here, okay?

Speaker 53 If I want to tell you something, I'll tell you something.

Speaker 14 Sorry, you're right, you're right.

Speaker 28 All right, I'm just gonna pop in here.

Speaker 16 I'm gonna reverse this.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, what?

Speaker 5 Wait, are you are you alright?

Speaker 18 The big wound just opened it up.

Speaker 16 Yeah,

Speaker 21 everything's okay. What?

Speaker 46 Everything's good. That means it's working.

Speaker 52 That means the ship's working, you know?

Speaker 22 What just happened.

Speaker 9 What do you mean that means the ship's working?

Speaker 40 Oh,

Speaker 40 come on.

Speaker 50 The ship takes my energy.

Speaker 51 Every ship I repair takes energy from my being.

Speaker 40 Wait, what?

Speaker 48 Yes.

Speaker 51 And I get a little bit weaker with every ship.

Speaker 22 But it actually physically takes a piece of you.

Speaker 37 Yeah, would you think I had a gas foot because I thought it was cosmetically fun?

Speaker 22 I don't know. Maybe you were in a war or something.

Speaker 15 Hey, can I tell you a secret?

Speaker 16 Yeah. Can I tell you a secret?

Speaker 44 Uh-huh. Never assume somebody's in a war because either they are and they don't want to.

Speaker 53 Hey, hey, hey, if I want to tell you that little piece of advice, I pull you over the side, okay, mister?

Speaker 46 Sorry, I think it was for me.

Speaker 28 Okay, you're right. It's for you.

Speaker 46 Let me first tell you. Okay.

Speaker 44 So, you know, I forgot my secret because this damn idiot over here.

Speaker 7 Never assume anybody's in a war.

Speaker 21 Was this fair?

Speaker 22 Now you're going to correct him on his secret.

Speaker 39 You're correcting me on my secret?

Speaker 15 I'm going to go. I got to go.
Okay.

Speaker 44 That's good. So never assume anybody's in a war because either they don't want to talk about it or they want to talk about it it too much.

Speaker 25 That's a text.

Speaker 28 You're right. Honestly.

Speaker 10 That is colorful.

Speaker 40 Oh, sorry about that.

Speaker 40 No, 718 chips, you're going to cough up a little shit sometimes, you know?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, I guess so. Yeah.
Yeah. How many do you, how many do you have in you?

Speaker 36 My father only repaired 34.

Speaker 26 Wow.

Speaker 28 Whoa. Well, sure, yeah.

Speaker 46 Yeah, I'm playing on the house money right now, so I don't know.

Speaker 44 And don't worry about payment either.

Speaker 24 What? What?

Speaker 44 There's no payment.

Speaker 46 This is what I'm born to do.

Speaker 9 Tony, we could hardly ask you to fix Bargie for no croon at all.

Speaker 2 It would be weird.

Speaker 44 Don't you dare give me a croon. That would be an insult, okay?

Speaker 51 I was put out in the universe to repair ships.

Speaker 54 And I will do that till I die.

Speaker 22 So, give it one quick, one quick second. We just love to talk in little asides.

Speaker 28 Sure, sure.

Speaker 22 Bargie's gonna kill him.

Speaker 8 No, what?

Speaker 23 Barge's gonna kill him.

Speaker 22 He's gonna run out of pieces of himself. There's so many things for Pair.

Speaker 9 I didn't notice this until he turned around, but he doesn't have a lot of

Speaker 8 back, like a lot of his money. Yeah,

Speaker 23 seems to be.

Speaker 22 Think about not just the things I jucked up on, Bargie. Yeah.

Speaker 26 Think of Bargie in general.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Hey, listen, 718, Tony. I feel like, you know, especially we're not panya.

Speaker 8 This seems like a big job. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Maybe we could just call someone else.

Speaker 55 Don't you dare.

Speaker 22 Wait, wait, wait. Take your little big hand off of FlexNet.
It's time.

Speaker 40 We will.

Speaker 46 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 I have anger issues, which I will never address.

Speaker 27 But you could.

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 49 And I love that guy so much, but we never talk about issues.

Speaker 47 Okay, we're gonna need to take this back to my garage. We're gonna fix this up.
Chris!

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 42 Chris, we're gonna need you to back it up a little bit.

Speaker 42 Like this?

Speaker 53 Do this button! No, you're going forward.

Speaker 33 You gotta back it up.

Speaker 53 No, you're facing me and you're going back.

Speaker 16 Face forward.

Speaker 53 No, Chris, you gotta face forward and go back.

Speaker 33 You can't look at me.

Speaker 18 That's what you want.

Speaker 14 You want me forward or back.

Speaker 53 I want you to put your back to my fate.

Speaker 8 Oh, my God. Tony, I am going back right now.

Speaker 50 You know, you gotta...

Speaker 57 What about this doesn't look like that?

Speaker 44 You know what? My nephew made this stupid bot, and I said, you know, I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna use it because I'm a good guy.
I'm saying, my nephew, he wants to learn this shit.

Speaker 39 Oh, he built, he he built this.

Speaker 16 He built Christopher.

Speaker 39 Yeah, so now I got my nephew's bot on me and he can't do nothing.

Speaker 16 Hey, Chris.

Speaker 7 Have you ever thought about fixing the. Can you fix a robot or something like that?

Speaker 5 Oh, no.

Speaker 44 Yeah, I'm a shit mechanic. Yeah.

Speaker 52 Yeah, would you ask a toilet plumber to fix a sink?

Speaker 40 I would, but maybe.

Speaker 19 You would?

Speaker 8 Don't you dare.

Speaker 53 Hey, finally, you get a secret.

Speaker 40 Come over here.

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come over here.

Speaker 45 Lay it up.

Speaker 40 You like secret time? No. Give me more secrets.

Speaker 16 You want another secret?

Speaker 40 Come over here. Come over here.

Speaker 52 See, you're lucky I'm slapping you with my other hands.

Speaker 9 Yeah, you would not want to slap from that big.

Speaker 57 I'm still moving back if you want it back.

Speaker 39 Oh, man, he backed right into Bargade.

Speaker 57 You want me to go forward and back right now?

Speaker 54 Just shut up.

Speaker 54 Alright,

Speaker 18 shut up, protocol. Okay.

Speaker 44 So it seems that it seems, what's the name of this ship that you got?

Speaker 7 It's the Bargerian Jade.

Speaker 17 I can introduce myself.

Speaker 18 I'm the Barjade.

Speaker 18 Oh, no. Ship in the stars.

Speaker 22 Usually she's far more eloquent. She's a very long resume.

Speaker 18 Oh, that's wonderful.

Speaker 51 Okay, we're going to need to get this ship back to my garage ASAP. I would say this ship has a two to three hour lifespan left in them.

Speaker 40 Two to three hours?

Speaker 44 Two to three hours. This is actually a disaster.
Can we get this back to my garage as soon as possible?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 16 That's fine with you guys.

Speaker 7 What do we do in in the meantime?

Speaker 52 Because, I mean, you want to ride up with me in the tow truck?

Speaker 4 I mean, I guess so.

Speaker 21 Yeah. Sure.

Speaker 46 We're going to need to do laps then.

Speaker 7 What does that mean?

Speaker 52 People sitting on people's laps.

Speaker 49 We're going to need to do laps.

Speaker 37 You already said yes, so we got to do laps.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Yeah, sure, sure.

Speaker 7 Because LC53 could stay in Pargi because he doesn't have to breathe or anything.

Speaker 16 No, I don't want

Speaker 52 why not include him.

Speaker 22 No, we should all be included, Pleck.

Speaker 8 Okay, you're right.

Speaker 9 There's four of us, so two and two are on laps.

Speaker 7 I guess I just don't understand why I have why C53 is sitting on my lap.

Speaker 22 Well, I wasn't gonna sit on your lap.

Speaker 21 Well, thank you for that. I wasn't.

Speaker 11 Sure.

Speaker 10 So everyone's got somebody on their lap.

Speaker 18 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 22 And I'm in 718 Tony's lap.

Speaker 36 How is so I'm on Chris's lap?

Speaker 57 Yeah, I'm getting crushed.

Speaker 57 There are two people on me. I can't see anything.

Speaker 22 I'm directing you, okay?

Speaker 28 Oh,

Speaker 22 keep going. Where?

Speaker 57 Just keep going.

Speaker 57 Keep going.

Speaker 20 Keep going.

Speaker 57 More.

Speaker 20 Yep.

Speaker 57 Just seems like your nephew had a program to get out of your desk.

Speaker 18 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Speaker 21 You're telling me.

Speaker 51 I wish my nephew did a lot of things.

Speaker 44 I wish you remember my birthday. Sure.

Speaker 22 Okay. All right, keep going.

Speaker 22 Maybe a little over to the right. You're drifting a bit.

Speaker 46 So, what do you guys do?

Speaker 9 You're an emissary team for the rebellion. I don't know if you devil much in connecting politics.

Speaker 40 No, no, I turn off that crap.

Speaker 52 You know, keep your nose out the dirt.

Speaker 16 Your asshole stays clean.

Speaker 5 What does that mean exactly?

Speaker 40 Hey, let me tell you a little secret. Come over here.

Speaker 16 Come over here. Move your big body.

Speaker 45 Come over here. Let me get this little pink guy over money.

Speaker 26 Come over here. Okay.

Speaker 40 Uh-oh, the big hands come and fill you. No, no, no.

Speaker 16 listen.

Speaker 16 I would kill you with that.

Speaker 45 Okay, you're right.

Speaker 26 Oh, boy.

Speaker 18 I got you with the little one.

Speaker 39 Yeah, I got you with the little hand.

Speaker 22 Hey, more to the right.

Speaker 22 And we're here.

Speaker 22 Is that your beautiful wife out in front?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Hello.

Speaker 55 Suzanne, come here. Give me a kiss.

Speaker 59 Tony.

Speaker 40 Oh.

Speaker 40 Tony, you have a new wound.

Speaker 59 Are you

Speaker 59 fixing something?

Speaker 49 You better believe him.

Speaker 59 That's my Tony.

Speaker 40 Of course.

Speaker 27 Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 40 Veronica and Tony June. Oh, come here, come here.

Speaker 49 One on each shoulder.

Speaker 16 Come on.

Speaker 40 Oh, geez.

Speaker 59 Somebody take this camera to get a family photo.

Speaker 40 Oh, I love my family.

Speaker 16 Family is the most important thing in the world. See the story, Dark.

Speaker 7 Can I talk to you guys first?

Speaker 19 Okay, listen, guys.

Speaker 7 I felt bad when 718 Tony told us that he was like, but now that you see

Speaker 19 a family, he's got two little kids.

Speaker 1 This seems

Speaker 19 my nieces and nephews, cause all my brothers and sisters are dead.

Speaker 32 Yes, Tony, Uncle Tony.

Speaker 32 Yes.

Speaker 27 Yes.

Speaker 19 I will love all of you and I will see you all to university.

Speaker 7 Listen, 718 Tony, your family seems lovely.

Speaker 19 I got it a telephone

Speaker 1 dozens of these children.

Speaker 19 They are so nice.

Speaker 1 Oh, you have to see the bill when we go out to eat, though.

Speaker 49 Oh, I know. I bet you through the roof.

Speaker 45 I say no sodas.

Speaker 49 No sodas.

Speaker 40 You know, we get one soda, we do the free refill for everybody.

Speaker 45 We do one soda, 48 free refills, because I get two, because Tony gets two, because I'm picking up the bill.

Speaker 16 But they're the best things in my damn life.

Speaker 19 Oh, man. That's really...

Speaker 22 we can't have you we can't have you fix Bargie.

Speaker 16 Listen we can't what

Speaker 1 listen.

Speaker 7 I feel like surely there's another mechanic around. I don't want to say you sh you you're not a good mechanic.
I just feel like

Speaker 11 Bargie is so damaged that it would kill you to fix her.

Speaker 51 And if it does, that's my time.

Speaker 16 There's gotta be another way.

Speaker 37 If it does, that's my time.

Speaker 22 Maybe you could just teach me, and then I could fix Barges. You are...

Speaker 44 Hey, let me tell you a secret.

Speaker 19 Oh, boy.

Speaker 54 That was a great idea.

Speaker 39 That was such a...

Speaker 50 I like you.

Speaker 40 You got a lot of spunk, a lot of spotty, a lot of spazazz.

Speaker 19 Thank you.

Speaker 22 Could you do me a favor?

Speaker 40 Of course.

Speaker 22 Could you give Cleck another secret?

Speaker 16 Of course.

Speaker 1 Hey, come over here. Give it.

Speaker 16 Actually, actually, what's your name? Dar. Hey, actually, uh, Dar.

Speaker 40 Why don't you give him a secret for me?

Speaker 19 No, ow!

Speaker 7 On the top of my head.

Speaker 22 Wow, did you like that secret?

Speaker 7 I guess so.

Speaker 50 Come on, let me show you in this ship.

Speaker 51 I'll teach you how to do this.

Speaker 37 So when I'm not there, you can take care of it yourself.

Speaker 22 Thank you. That's perfect.

Speaker 7 Okay, great. So, Dari, you're gonna learn how to fix Bargie.

Speaker 22 Yeah, and then it'll be like, I never ruined her in the first place.

Speaker 37 Oh, can you do me a favor while we do that?

Speaker 49 They all have math homework we need to go over, and they're all in different grades.

Speaker 7 No, okay, I'm standing next to a droid. I think you chose me.

Speaker 10 Direct that question to you.

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 56 What is this?

Speaker 19 What is home?

Speaker 29 It's a math home one.

Speaker 22 Okay, tell me where to stick my hands in first.

Speaker 16 Okay, okay.

Speaker 44 So you see how we got seven mufflers on this back right here, right?

Speaker 40 Yeah. Great.

Speaker 44 So now I want you to look in all of them.

Speaker 44 You see, one is clocked, right? Yeah. How can you tell what's clocked?

Speaker 22 Uh, there's the kerchiefs that I stuffed in one of them.

Speaker 45 Exactly. Look for where you stuck shit in.

Speaker 19 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Wherever you stuck stuff in, that's the one you want to fix.

Speaker 40 Yeah, right?

Speaker 16 Okay, so.

Speaker 19 Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm great.

Speaker 1 I'm great. This is so good.
You're helping me with the ship right here.

Speaker 3 Okay. Cool.

Speaker 54 So I want you to reach your hand. Great.

Speaker 45 Now make sure you put on the gloves because a muffler is hot.

Speaker 22 Oh, I should actually just be totally fine. My body runs at like 500 degrees normally.

Speaker 40 Egg on my face.

Speaker 16 Egg on your face. It'd be be a fried egg.

Speaker 19 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 22 Alright, so I'll just touch this.

Speaker 32 Ah!

Speaker 19 Letting go.

Speaker 1 Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 24 Okay, so

Speaker 24 I

Speaker 22 am doing all the work, and you're just instructing me, and yet

Speaker 22 I'm still hurting. Yeah, half of your face is now gone.

Speaker 19 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 45 the left half.

Speaker 40 My right's my better half, as Suzanne always says.

Speaker 22 Sure, but the whole reason I'm doing this is because I didn't want you to die.

Speaker 50 Well, here's the thing: if I teach you how to fix the ship, I'm hurt even more.

Speaker 22 You're hurt even more? Yeah, I'm hurt even more.

Speaker 16 Oh, no.

Speaker 50 Yep, because I'm not only giving you the knowledge to do it now, but I'm giving you the knowledge to do it in the future.

Speaker 22 Why are you stressed? Because I did so many bad things to the ship.

Speaker 43 Well, we're gonna have to get through that together.

Speaker 54 Come here, let me tell you a secret.

Speaker 25 Okay.

Speaker 54 Aren't secrets weird when it's just two people in a room?

Speaker 40 It's just talking closer.

Speaker 22 I mean, you are very close to my face right now. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 16 Well, back up.

Speaker 22 No, no, no. It really brings into focus that only half of your face is there.

Speaker 32 Let me move to the other side.

Speaker 40 Yep, check out those pearly blues.

Speaker 22 Wow, that really is your better sight.

Speaker 16 Yeah, my teeth were blue when I was born, and my parents were never more excited.

Speaker 22 Oh, yeah, they're beautiful blue teeth.

Speaker 3 Thank you. Hey,

Speaker 54 the secret is.

Speaker 16 Uh-huh.

Speaker 54 This is my job. This is what I do.

Speaker 22 Do you feel like if you had talked to somebody about your feelings, you wouldn't just derive all of your self-worth through what you do for work?

Speaker 40 Too much for the brain.

Speaker 26 Too much for the brain. Let me fix stuff.

Speaker 4 Oh, hey, hey, C53, Vargi has stopped smoking.

Speaker 7 I think that's a good sign.

Speaker 7 I bet they're having a great time in there.

Speaker 19 Yes?

Speaker 29 What is afterlife?

Speaker 45 Oh boy.

Speaker 7 I mean, that's a definitely don't ask C53 that, because he'll give you an answer that's gonna make you unhappy.

Speaker 8 C53?

Speaker 19 No, I told you not to do that.

Speaker 8 What is afterlife?

Speaker 9 Oh, well, that's a fiction that many such people

Speaker 2 do.

Speaker 2 You didn't even.

Speaker 2 How can you be banks? I'm undoing things behind your back. You shouldn't even know that I'm trying to make these things on the replays.

Speaker 16 an Audi belly button.

Speaker 40 Aww, and now it's even bigger!

Speaker 40 Why does it look like it's gonna burst?

Speaker 40 Oh my, okay, okay, now flip, flip the on switch, you gotta get this alternator running.

Speaker 26 Flip the switch!

Speaker 32 I won't, and I won't let you do it either!

Speaker 40 Flip it, switch!

Speaker 13 Oh, do you hear that?

Speaker 19 That sounds good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, though.

Speaker 7 Sounds like her power's running again. Hey, Bargie? Bargie, can you hear me?

Speaker 11 Okay, well.

Speaker 7 Everything alright? Do you feel any better?

Speaker 17 Feel a lot better, actually. I uh not 100 yet.
I'm at 17%.

Speaker 7 Oh, great. Yeah, hey, we'll take 17.
Not bad. You know, it's honestly great to hear your voice again.
Bargie, I was worried about you. But, you know, whatever's going on inside there, it's two.

Speaker 7 Two people care about you a lot.

Speaker 17 That screaming is not for me, though.

Speaker 7 Wait, who's screaming?

Speaker 20 Stop right now.

Speaker 26 Listen to me.

Speaker 10 Everything's fine inside now.

Speaker 54 We just have to get that wing on.

Speaker 22 What if Bino already had that knowledge?

Speaker 54 Bino, did you have that knowledge?

Speaker 16 Wait,

Speaker 21 K-N-O-W or N-O.

Speaker 2 Vino, no, as in Vino, no.

Speaker 29 Vino couple alternating internal coil 7 to fusion thruster 5.

Speaker 13 Vino, no!

Speaker 17 I'm feeling really good, actually, you know. That's great.

Speaker 17 I've never felt so. I don't know how to say this healthy, you know.
Hey, you know, that never really happens to me.

Speaker 7 Bargie, this is amazing. I think whatever Dara is doing in our daughter.

Speaker 11 20 years ago.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 13 Where are my kids?

Speaker 13 Daddy.

Speaker 49 Yes, oh, everyone come here and touch my ear.

Speaker 40 Tony. Suzanne.

Speaker 24 Oh, my God.

Speaker 13 Christopher, Christopher,

Speaker 58 I have it.

Speaker 59 Children, gather round. Gather round your uncle, father.

Speaker 59 Put your hands together. Let's stand in a circle around 718 Tony.

Speaker 54 This is what it's about. Life is about giving yourself and being with your family while you do it.

Speaker 59 And kissing.

Speaker 40 Oh, wow.

Speaker 26 I love the hearts for that. I think that's a good idea.

Speaker 45 Oh, yeah, those are the last to go, baby.

Speaker 59 Your best side of your face is still there.

Speaker 19 Try to believe it.

Speaker 40 These pearly blues are all for you, father.

Speaker 22 Can I put him down while you two are doing this?

Speaker 2 Please hold him, hold them up.

Speaker 5 Hold him up, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah, do you mind just running your hands through her hair as we kiss?

Speaker 59 Yeah, he doesn't have to. I can do that.
Make one of them real big and one kind of tiny so it feels like Tony.

Speaker 19 Wait, I'm holding him and okay.

Speaker 2 No, I'm holding you.

Speaker 49 Ah, you dropped me.

Speaker 22 I'm sorry, I didn't say you wanted me to run both of my hands, so I was trying to make one of them.

Speaker 59 You're right, it was complicated instructions you couldn't do physically.

Speaker 32 That was really appreciated. You think you were putting the wing back on?

Speaker 29 Been a love-ficking ship.

Speaker 20 Ship is currently okay with being a

Speaker 29 no love ship.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 20 Oh, this is kind of what I'm looking at.

Speaker 2 What are you doing?

Speaker 13 I have to admit, we're very concerned.

Speaker 13 Are you going to be okay?

Speaker 54 Pull out my identification card.

Speaker 55 Pull out my identification card.

Speaker 19 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 54 What's the name on it?

Speaker 7 719 Tony.

Speaker 54 I'm gonna be okay.

Speaker 49 I'm gonna be okay.

Speaker 19 Somewhere in Cologne, I have allergies.

Speaker 1 I think maybe we should probably go.

Speaker 33 Where you going you're not gonna stay for dinner

Speaker 56 I mean I guess

Speaker 40 we're going out to eat one soda 50 people

Speaker 7 listen 719 Tony you are

Speaker 7 you are too I mean literally too kind yeah that's fine

Speaker 21 okay I mean I guess we'll go get dinner hey let me tell you a secret secret.

Speaker 19 Uh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 54 I notice your watch is broken.

Speaker 19 Uh no, no, no, don't fix it.

Speaker 19 I didn't ask for that.

Speaker 24 Pink one?

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 22 What what is guilty conscience?

Speaker 1 Vargi. Yep.

Speaker 7 It's so glad to have you back. How are you feeling?

Speaker 17 I'm feeling great. You know, I've never felt this youthful before.
I never had this much energy for years. I feel amazing, like I could do anything, be anything, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 17 all about reaching goals.

Speaker 7 I mean, that's great. I just, I'm so glad you're feeling better.

Speaker 17 Yeah, you know, I saw the end. I saw it in front of me.

Speaker 5 Whoa, really?

Speaker 17 Yeah, as I was coming to what I believe was my end, I saw another dark ship, completely dark, and it came up to me and it was like, Baji,

Speaker 17 I can help you.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Ease the pain, and I was ready.

Speaker 17 He said, I can increase your social media presence.

Speaker 7 That can't be

Speaker 2 right

Speaker 17 If I give her my crew card,

Speaker 4 did you give it to him?

Speaker 17 Yes.

Speaker 10 Bargie, these followers are just bots. And by that, I mean droids that do single-purpose actions.

Speaker 7 Listen, Bargie, it kind of sounds like you maybe got scammed there right at the end.

Speaker 8 I think you did.

Speaker 22 Bino, how did you learn

Speaker 22 all that stuff about ships?

Speaker 22 Okay. It's like I set him up for that.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Beano, you know, I guess we all really

Speaker 7 owe you a debt of gratitude, Bino.

Speaker 29 Bino?

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah, to you. To you, Bino.

Speaker 13 Bino?

Speaker 10 Is there a bunch of broken parts that Dar took out of Bargy?

Speaker 26 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 I thought you wouldn't know where to put them.

Speaker 16 No, you were supposed to...

Speaker 7 You set up this whole thing like, I'm good at fixing ships. Bino, good at fixing ships.

Speaker 7 I gotta say, it's weird that every time.

Speaker 11 we have an incoming transition from missions operation manager,

Speaker 23 what target land?

Speaker 7 Who is that?

Speaker 5 Hello? Hey, my dudes,

Speaker 5 what's up?

Speaker 18 Uh,

Speaker 7 hi, sorry, have we have we met? Oh,

Speaker 7 Plex, you're you're always pulling Plume's leg. All right, guys, all the bargarian J looks like is back in action.
Cool.

Speaker 2 Wait, Plume. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Sorry, who are who are you?

Speaker 22 And what have you done with Nermit?

Speaker 7 Yeah, where's Nermit?

Speaker 36 What are you talking about?

Speaker 35 Let's do our normal cheer with the end of a mission. When old missions operations manager Plume brings it back in at the end of a mission, so we go, one, two, three.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know what

Speaker 21 that is.

Speaker 22 Never in my life would I join in a group cheer.

Speaker 35 Oh man, Dar, you're a good one.

Speaker 7 How do you know our names?

Speaker 35 I've been managing this team since the get-go.

Speaker 20 C-53, what the jug is hiding into you?

Speaker 21 Oh, guys, hey.

Speaker 8 What happened?

Speaker 20 Oh, man.

Speaker 38 I just came out of like a void.

Speaker 40 A void?

Speaker 16 What are you talking about?

Speaker 22 Who is Plume?

Speaker 2 Plume?

Speaker 16 There was a guy, Plume.

Speaker 7 The missions operations manager was a guy named Plume.

Speaker 16 Do you work with Plume? No, I don't know a Plume.

Speaker 29 You know,

Speaker 29 Bino think that commenter on Nermit Bundaloy's video decided to rewrite history by making his parents not meet, causing a rift in the multiverse.

Speaker 29 Because Nermit Bundaloy no longer existed, the video no longer existed, which means the comment no longer existed, which means there was a time paradox,

Speaker 29 which means Nermit Bundaloy

Speaker 29 parents meet again, and Nermit Bundaloy bought back into this multiverse.

Speaker 9 Right, but now the video exists again, and now the commenter made the- Wait, someone's typing!

Speaker 38 Someone's typing on the comment. I'm gonna delete it! Ah!

Speaker 9 Yeah, disable comments immediately, Nerman.

Speaker 38 Oh, I could have just disabled the comments.

Speaker 20 Oh, that was my best track.

Speaker 10 Well, I just caught you to non-exist briefly, so I don't know if it's yours.

Speaker 7 Nerman, I'm glad you're back. Yeah,

Speaker 7 I'm glad you're healthy.

Speaker 35 Yep.

Speaker 34 Whoa, guys, this is crazy.

Speaker 34 I have Plume. Plume's ID card is here.

Speaker 7 Bino?

Speaker 29 Bino, I think you should destroy it immediately.

Speaker 21 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 29 Be no.

Speaker 22 Wait, no, Nerma, don't eat it. That's not the same.

Speaker 18 It's the only way to do that.

Speaker 60 C-Red IT5, credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol. Emissary Pleck Dexter was played by Alden Ford.
C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Speaker 60 Bargie the ship Veronica and Tony Jr. were played by Mujah Dolfagari.
Missions Operations Manager Nerman Bundeloy, Suzanne, Tony's nephew, and Plum Tarland were played by Seth Lind.

Speaker 60 Bino and the good-for-nothing droid named Christopher were played by Winston Null. 718 Tony was played by special guest Sebastian Cannelli.

Speaker 60 He has appeared on The Detour, The Last OG, Nick Tunes, and MTV. He performs regularly with a law firm at the News To Be in New York, and you can listen to his new podcast, Who You Were.

Speaker 60 Follow Sebastian on Instagram at Sebastian Canelli. This episode was recorded at Robert Donkey Jr.'s Puppy Palace.
Sound Effects and Nicks by Shane O'Connell. This episode was edited by Seth Lind.

Speaker 60 Music by Brendan Ryan. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Cretchley.
Ship designed with Rogerian Jade by Eric Goyce. Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.
Thanks, Audioboom.

Speaker 60 And thanks for listening all the way through the credits.

Speaker 31 Oh,

Speaker 31 I've also done a lot of films I'm not proud of. I've ruined marriages and friendships.

Speaker 31 The hatch that was leaking on Sunshine.

Speaker 43 Leaking on Sunshine, you said?

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Excellent.

Speaker 31 Battlefield Tellurian.

Speaker 40 Okay.

Speaker 44 Well, I'm not much of an arc guy, so I haven't seen a lot of these films, but you know, Shirk 2.

Speaker 37 Shirk 2? Are you kidding?

Speaker 40 Oh, hello, donkey.

Speaker 40 Hey, donkey.

Speaker 46 How are you doing? That was me.

Speaker 40 I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 16 That was me.

Speaker 19 I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 37 You were the shit that kept talking to the donkey.

Speaker 31 Yep.

Speaker 24 Um,

Speaker 40 oh, my kids are gonna go nuts when they're fucking.

Speaker 40 You're gonna have to, donkey.

Speaker 40 I don't want to talk about it. Don't even know.
Can you do the voice with me? Do the voice. No, I hate it so much.
Oh, there it is. There's the voice.
I hate it so much, donkey!

Speaker 40 You feel worse! You are a star.