208: It’s Not You, It’s Rolphus [ft. Alex Song]

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Plek Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is mission to

zip.

Hey, Bargie.

Yeah.

I have a question.

We have a lot of questions.

Okay, we're already starting this off very annoying.

Why?

Because both Bino and I are talking.

Yes.

Okay.

Listen, I just know you don't have guns,

but I was looking out the window, and there's those two like

vanity.

They're vanity guns?

Whenever you do well in a movie, in a hollow, if you go top of the box office, I'll give you a vanity gun.

Emissary Dexter, you are familiar with a famous actor will appear in a hollow just to boost the ticket sales of the future.

Sure.

That's what's called a hired gun.

Oh, that's where the term comes from.

Ah, okay.

Great.

Dar.

What are you doing?

I'm experiencing just incredible itchinesses and burning all at the same time.

Oh, yeah.

How this looks very uncomfortable for you, Dar.

Dor, I actually have a limited amount of first aid training.

If you want to flip over, I'm trying to diagnose.

No boy, I gotta get out of here.

Oh, sure.

Yeah, that's a lot of push truels.

Oh.

Be no love cut.

No, Beano.

Get out of here.

Go.

No, Beano.

Dora, this looks like, you know, a fairly common STI.

You know, it's just one of those things.

I hooked up while we were at the casino.

And I may have caught something.

Oh no.

AC-53.

Yeah.

Something's going on with Dar.

Like, first they chuck that corpse, then they get an STI from a casino.

Like, that's weird, right?

Certainly a character.

Do you think maybe Dar like misses Nermit and is sort of, you know, flapping it up?

Those aren't the words I would use, but yes, that seems like.

Okay, why don't we then just call Nermit and we'll get approval to go to a clinic and clear this whole thing up.

That's a good idea.

Should I send an outgoing transmission to Russian operations manager?

Sure, let's give it a shot.

Here we go.

Okay, so, uh, good to see you.

Like, uh, that's about sorry it took me long to answer the door.

I'm busy.

Uh hey, Nermit.

Hey, what are you?

Oh, hey, guys.

You're rearranging your office?

Uh, yeah, um, my parents are gonna visit.

So,

yeah, they're gonna come see my new digs.

So, I was just straightening and everything, so, yeah.

Where do your parents live politically?

Are they embarrassed you left the Federated Alliance?

We just, like, try not to bring up politics.

Sure.

You know what I mean?

Are you worried that they're gonna rat you out to the alliance and the alliance is gonna come murder you?

I wasn't.

Oh, boy.

I mean, it sounds like from what I've heard from your parents, they're kind of like, I don't know, I would say loyalists would be the word that I would use.

Yeah, they're pretty well-to-do, if I'm not mistaken.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, for lurds.

You're the species you are is called lurd?

Yeah, we're lurds.

What is that?

Okay.

Be no love that name.

Does it stand for something?

Be no stands for Vina.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay, chatty caddies, get me to a clinic.

Okay, all right.

Uh, listen, Nerman, we gotta find a doctor, a medic, or something like that.

We need to requisition some room

expenses immediately.

What?

Fine, full disclosure, I hooked up with Aurora and

obviously lied.

I can't believe I have to put in this request.

What's happening?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody on the screen?

Oh, hold on.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello with Sisu Gundu.

Is this one of our ships?

Yeah, we're we're sort of in the middle of something right now.

Okay, that's not important for that.

This is very important.

A very famous member of the Rebellion has gone missing.

Whoa, really?

My.

My ex.

Uh, your ex?

Do you mean Commander Rolfus Tittle?

We,

as everybody knows, we had a falling out and we're separated, we're not divorced.

Okay, we're separated.

I mean, it's none of our business.

Are you saying Rolfus Tittle is missing?

He's missing.

He hasn't liked any of my holo media, and it's been a while, and I just want to make sure he's okay.

Yeah, I was gonna say

if you could find him, Commander Gunu, did you did you call this channel because we're one of the best rebel emissaries?

No, I just randomly put in numbers, I just hoped.

But if you could find him,

if you could find him, but like, what's the time frame on this?

How soon do we have to find him?

You know,

soon.

Okay.

It's just our son is having a recital.

Oh, Centurion Tittle, right?

Oh, it's, I mean, and it's not like I care if he's not there, but

yeah.

Sounds sort of like a neutral.

No!

What?

I mean, find him.

Commander Gundu, will you?

And if he asks how I am doing,

I am doing well.

Anyway, okay, thank you.

Bye-bye.

All right.

Pleasure to meet.

Commander Gundu, thanks for watching.

wow, okay, let's start checking planets.

What?

I don't think it really works that way, Nerona.

I think we need some leads, right?

What

you know where he is, Bargie?

Well, we know he's in the dumps.

He's in the place called the dumps.

Uh

wait, Dar knows about this.

Oh, I've sent many a being to the dumps.

That's how you know you've been dumped.

So, wait, the dumps is a place?

A physical place?

Yeah.

Emissary Dexter, you've never heard of the dumps.

It's an asteroid where broken-hearted people are abducted and deposited in a society of their own.

No, I mean, I just

want to take a look at the trend.

Sure, they weren't really.

No, yeah.

I mean, that's probably

mostly what it is, yeah.

Well, okay.

I mean, do you think that's where he is?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

people who just don't have the stuff together.

Emissary Dexter.

If you've never been to the Deep Sci Advice, extreme caution.

People there are working to that.

Just really going through a tough time, and it's very sad.

Oh, boy.

But guys, this is amazing.

We can rescue Commander Rolfus Tittle for the rebellion.

What could be a more exciting mission?

Okay, let's lay in a course.

What?

No.

The things for Dar.

Uh, Dar, can you can you and Bargie go and do that sort of as like an errand?

I just don't feel like we need to be there for that.

Oh, okay.

Did I say something wrong?

Yeah, Margaret.

Can you gals just go to the doctor

together?

Okay, I just feel like a trip to a doctor for an STI is...

You gender-neutral being and you ship that sometimes identifies as female just leave the shit.

It's not

a fairy.

Wow, I know that.

If I could,

if we were in a relationship, I'd send you to the dumps.

Okay,

fine.

Listen, I just say what, Nervet.

I don't know a lot about the dumps, but I imagine it's probably a place with a good clinic.

A lot of people get dumped when your partner finds out that

we have missions out of Missions Manager.

I imagine there is some excellent STI care in the dumps.

Sure, you're not being taken there, though.

We're choosing to go there.

Sure.

Oh, hey there guys.

It's Councillor Balweet of the Council of Seven.

Hi.

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Well, I don't really know what that stands for, but that's fun.

That's Neutrophil.

N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com and code MTZ.

Okay, great.

Like uh, all Hail the Federated Alliance.

Well, I am headed back into my nice meeting.

And we turn the babies into killers.

Yes.

I'm being comfortable, boys.

Welcome back.

Where we just start discussing our stunning vacation photos.

Awesome.

Let me show you some.

Yes, we're all

good friends.

Guys, is there anything I should know before we go to the dumps, like before we get off the ship?

Because I'm a little bit nervous about what I've heard.

Well, just know that the people you encounter here, Amissary Dexter, are very emotionally fragile.

So,

I guess try not to do that thing you normally do and immediately poke at a person's most vulnerable area.

Do I do that?

I mean, I feel like you do it a lot.

Alright, yeah, no.

Well, I will definitely keep it in mind.

Bargie, lower the old hatch.

What is this music?

Yeah, this music is just sort of playing all the time here in the dust.

Oh, it's very.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

I think when you're in a certain emotional state, this kind of music can be helpful.

Oh boy.

It's like, I thought we were soulmates, you know what I mean?

Like, I thought, like, we have so much in common.

Okay, I'm saying,

do not engage right now.

Okay, um, you

crying thing?

Hey, I'm not crying, and I am going through a lot right now.

Sure, you sure are.

Now, tell me,

where did you go to get your SGI clearance?

How do you know?

Did he tell you?

Did he give it to other people, too?

Or no, no, no, come back.

Oh, boy, come back.

Okay, wait, this, this one.

You, tell me where to go.

Welcome to the dumps.

Oh,

thank you.

Hello.

Hi.

You actually seem okay.

Well, the thing about me is I don't really belong here, but I am the governor, so welcome.

Oh, what?

Would you like a tour?

The dumps has a governor.

Uh, yeah, they made me.

But, uh, you know, I'll be out of here any day now, so I'm just gonna fulfill my duties and be on my way.

So, just come this way.

I can give you a tour of the place.

Man.

You guys, uh.

You guys don't seem to be able to do that.

No, no, actually, we're just sort of here on kind of like uh

I would say like a diplomatic mission.

I'm in Sariplech Deck Center.

This is C-53, and this is dark.

Do you have a bathroom?

A bathroom?

Yeah.

Yeah, this place is full of them.

Those three are occupied, but the one on the end there, that should be empty.

Oh, okay, great.

No, there is someone crying inside of this.

Oh, sorry, he had his feet tucked up, so you couldn't tell.

Oh,

yeah, I don't think I got your name.

Uh, should I just call you governor?

Oh, uh, Joy is fine.

Uh, please don't don't remind me I'm the governor of this place.

I'll be out of here soon.

Joy, that's a great name.

Well, you know, I gotta thank you.

I gotta say, everything I heard about the dumps, I expected this to be a real downer, but you just seem like a real upbeat young lady.

Yeah, just like your name.

Well, yeah, you know, tell that to the next guy.

I shouldn't be here.

Yeah, sure.

Wait, what does that

mean?

How do you get off of the dumps?

Oh, you know, the panel just decides that you're ready, and I've been before them so many times, and I just can't seem to catch a break.

Well, hey, I mean, yeah, if you need anybody to vouch for you, just let us know, because you seem like a very helpful, cool person.

I must ask, how many times have you been before this panel?

Oof, okay, well, I try to schedule a meeting every day,

so I would say

that's 432 times.

Oh, that's

a long time.

It's a long time.

And now, have you left and then come back?

I'm confused.

Yes, I've been gone and I've been back almost immediately, and I don't know what glitch in the system is causing me to come back because I just shouldn't be here.

Huh.

Well, that seems sad.

Did you have a relationship that ended?

I had a relationship, it didn't end.

Are you sure about that?

Oh, well, you guys ask a lot of questions.

Come, what can I help you with?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's literally impossible to find a place to relieve myself.

Every time I turn over a bush, there's someone crying in there.

It's fine.

His name was Joan.

I'm sure it was.

Can you just move to the side so I can?

Joy, if we could just keep this tour moving, maybe then I'll be able to find a place.

Oh, sure.

The locals are real friendly.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

Just look at me.

Do I remind you of my dad?

I don't actually know.

Yeah, do I remind you of my dad?

You actually don't.

Yeah, I don't really know.

Exactly, I do not.

Somebody's wrong.

Are there adequate mental health resources for the people here in the dumps?

It seems to me.

Oh.

No.

It's a shame.

No, no, no.

We kind of don't believe in that kind of thing.

So, uh.

You don't believe in that sort of thing?

You know, yeah.

I mean, you know, I listen, I obviously never been dumped, but it just sort of seems to me like, you know, you really just gotta buck up, roll with the punches, and get on with your life.

I

now joy out of curiosity yes is there a place where a creature such as myself could have a droid with medical knowledge look at my um

bits

oh yes i do see it's uh it's burning and itchy and at times it it's almost like a like a constipation but from the front front.

Wow.

Oh my gosh.

Yes, we have a full facility for that.

It's just going to be on the other side of the asteroid, though.

I see.

And given the amount of foot traffic here, that could take you how long to walk?

Yeah, traffic's real bad here.

Probably three to four days.

That seems like too long.

Okay,

this will just be like a whole mind-over matter situation.

Oh, now you get this place.

Great.

Okay, wow.

What is that noise?

That's my favorite noise of the day.

It's time for the panel.

With the panel?

Do you mind if we join you?

Maybe we can vouch for you and tell the panel how cool and normal you are.

Oh my gosh, yes.

I've only ever done this thing alone, so it'll be nice to have friends.

Great.

So, alright.

Looks like we're here to see Joy again.

The pebble calls before itself the governor.

Joy.

Joy.

I am ready to resign my position.

Okay, Joy, let's go through the three questions we go through.

Yes.

I can't wait.

Number one,

how are you feeling today?

Oh, real good.

Number two, how are you actually feeling?

I can't feel anything, actually, so I would say that's pretty fantastic.

Number three

for real, Joy.

Seriously,

how are you feeling?

Okay, I'm a mess.

I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't stop yet.

No, no, see you tomorrow.

No, guys, just give me one more chance.

I couldn't.

I had it at two questions.

Just leave it at the two questions.

Joy, would you like us to ask the questions again?

Yeah.

You got this, Joy.

I think you can do it.

Why don't we do it

backwards?

Okay, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, yeah, backwards sounds great.

For real, Joy.

Howie, like, seriously.

I can't do it.

I can't.

I can't wake up in the morning.

I hate thinking of myself.

I wake up and I can only think about one thing.

And then, okay,

how did I do?

Not great, Joy.

Okay.

Okay.

You know, Joy, you know what I I said earlier about just kind of muscling through?

I don't think that's gonna work.

I think you need to like talk it out with somebody.

Maybe you can find somebody else in the dumps who's like going through the same thing you're going through.

I mean, um,

that would require me to be going through something, so.

Oh boy, wow, we are back at square one, aren't we?

You guys

you guys join

the dumps bar?

Oh, there's a bar here?

It is happy hour at the bar.

Cool.

Did you just come from there or are you going yet?

That's actually the happiest place here.

We should go.

Okay, yeah, sure.

I mean, yeah,

let's go, I guess.

Hey, Joy, I have a question.

Yes.

So, obviously, everybody here has just been dumped.

How many people hook up here at the dumps?

I would say about 80% of the population.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah, yeah.

And it doesn't, I imagine it doesn't work out.

It's never good.

It's never.

It's never good.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Wow.

The stare you just gave me was yikes.

Alright, well, we can just move on then.

Let's go to the bar.

Alright, sure, sure.

Hey, Dar, are you okay?

I'm just

trying

not to scream.

Dar, I have a question.

You know, like, when you get heat or whatever?

My monthly.

Yeah, what?

That burns everything off, so maybe you just...

Maybe you just wait for that and then you're good to go.

Um,

my monthly's actually a little late this month.

Oh my, oh my rod.

Um, darn.

Wow.

Uh-huh.

Does that- Why are you freaking out?

Does that mean you're- does that mean you might be pregnant?

Shut your wet mouth.

What?

Ow!

Wow!

I'm not pregnant.

That's not how this works.

I thought that's what you meant.

Like, if it was late, that might mean the- No, it just means I'm gonna burn a lot hotter this month.

Oh, okay.

All right.

But then what are you worried about?

I just...

It's gonna come in real hot.

Okay.

Wow, man.

That got me thinking.

I was like, Nurbin?

Was it Chad?

Was it Alan?

Wow, this bar is large.

I guess it makes sense.

You want a large bar here on the dumps.

Nope, same song.

What does that mean?

Ugh.

See, do we think that the only music that they listen to on this asteroid is the same one artist?

No, there's actually a number of artists.

There's a lot of

sad women who play piano.

Sure.

There's a good example of that.

Oh, wow.

But he is now a clown.

He's a clown?

I feel like she said clown, but I don't know.

It's really open for interpretation.

Go ahead.

Have an enjoy.

You've been so helpful.

Can we buy you a drink?

Oh, sure.

Alright, what can I get you?

Oh boy.

Wow.

What's up?

This is crazy.

See if you think this is the same bartender?

Welcome to.

Oh, you've been here before?

Hey, listen.

Sorry, do you work at

the Milch Hotel Bar rooftop bartender?

Yeah, I'm in two different places right now in the same time.

No, I mean, have you ever worked there?

No, I don't work at the Milsch Hotel Bar.

That's Eznuck.

Oh, Eznuck?

Eznuck works at the Mills Hotel.

My name is Tez Rin.

Tezarin?

Tez Rin.

Man.

Sorry.

You know what, Sorry?

I gotta be honest.

I just went through a breakup.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

That makes sense.

That makes sense.

I'm sorry.

Before the breakup, which bar were you working at?

It's weird.

I was working here, but it's in a relationship, and then I just got stuck here.

Wow, yeah,

that's a shame.

So they hired an off-world

generally speaking, you can't trust these dump people to work the bar because they just drink it all down.

Yeah, that makes sense.

But now you work here.

Are you drinking a lot?

Yeah.

Do you have any power?

Only low power.

You know what I'm saying?

No, that's okay.

I'll take it.

I'll take low power.

Alright, there you go.

Pinky.

I'll take an orange beer.

Okay.

Joy, what are we getting here?

Oh, just a shot of anything.

Anything grand bushka for the governor?

Thank you.

And here's your orange beer.

Thank you.

And uh.

Rubbing alcohol.

Wow, on the double.

Excuse me, let me grab that orange beer for a minute.

No, I was at uh

I was actually oh wow.

Yeah.

You know what?

I'll get you another orange beer.

What?

Where's our last orange beer?

How is it?

Sorry about that, friend.

I uh

chewed right through it.

Geez.

Joy.

Oh, hey, I didn't know you'd be here.

Hey, uh,

hey, baby, how you doing?

Whoa.

Oh, what?

Joy is fine.

Are we not saying affectionate terms?

What's going on?

Hey, C50, Dar, can I talk to you guys for a second?

That's Ralphus Tittle, right?

Okay, I'm just making sure.

But

he's not broken up about Sisu.

He's hung up on Joy.

Listen, Joy, I'm not hung up on Sisu anymore.

Oh, okay.

I don't care, Rolfus.

You can do whatever you want.

We're just having fun.

That's it.

Okay.

Hey, uh, Rolfus,

what's going on with you, man?

What's going on with you, man?

Hey, listen, listen.

That's not a good idea right now.

Rolfus,

my bro.

Okay.

Let's just, like, have another drink.

Yeah, why don't you and Dora go grab a drink?

Okay.

Hey, Joy, are you are you dating Rolfus Tittle?

I uh, you know, dating's a strong word.

I mean, it's like we're hanging out.

I thought you said that was a really bad idea here.

Oh, sure, but it's not that bad if you don't care.

Yeah, I guess.

Well, the thing is, I'm fine because I never got broken up with.

I'm still in a steady relationship back on my home planet.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, what's

your partner's name?

Greg.

Okay.

Tell us about Greg.

You know,

we haven't caught up in a little bit, but we're just trying to give each other a little space.

Sure.

Like a long-distance relationship.

Yeah.

And, you know, long emotional distance and

trying to respect each other's bad.

Can I ask Joy?

What did he say to you the last time you talked?

Okay.

You know, I replay it in my head all the time.

Sure.

Uh he said

I

no longer have feelings for you.

I never felt about you the way you did about me.

Wow.

I don't think we should see each other anymore.

Okay.

I actually am married.

I have two kids.

Huh.

And this has been a huge mistake.

Right, wow.

And you're still in the relationship with Greg.

Yep.

He never said we're breaking up, so.

Okay, right, right, yeah.

Okay.

He never said we're breaking up, he never said I'm dumping you.

Oh boy, wow.

Yeah, I'm

I'm good, I'm good.

You were

way drunker than you were.

Well, they got orange beer back.

And he started drinking the rubbing alcohol I ordered.

Oh, wow, let's do.

I drank the pus alcohol.

Oh,

you should not do that.

What is that?

What?

Joy, I need to talk to you.

Okay, what is it, Rolfus?

Do you want to go fool around again?

You got friends here.

I think that'd be inappropriate.

No, I think we need to

take some distance from each other.

I think we need to...

Okay.

I think we need to have some emotional distance as well.

Okay.

I no longer have feelings for you.

Oh, boy.

Did you?

I don't think I...

What?

I never felt for you what you felt for me.

Oh boy, wow.

In fact, I was married.

Oh boy.

Oh this is two kids.

Separate.

Oh boy.

Jesus.

Did somebody did somebody tell you to say

you overhear what we were talking?

What?

No, this is breaking up with somebody, Joy.

What?

No, you're just saying everything that Greg said to me because you think you're funny or something.

You're not in a relationship with Greg and you're no longer in a relationship with me.

Oh boy.

You're free.

You're frat.

I am dumping you, Joy.

And honestly, Greg dumped you too.

Okay, I don't, yeah, I don't think we need anything else.

Then stick around for Super Sound Poetry Reading Night.

Have I been dumped?

Is that

what happened?

Joy.

I realize this is an emotionally tender moment for you, but yes, you've been dumped not once, but apparently twice.

Yeah, that was Rolfus.

I don't fucking care about.

Well then, just the ones.

But really, Greg?

Yeah, bye, Greg.

I'm so sorry, Joy.

Do I

belong here?

Joy, if you wanna hook up or something right now.

No, what?

Rolfus!

Rolfus!

Jacques, wrong with you?

Go away by the door, Rolfus.

Rolfus, I think I just need to work through some feelings right now.

I don't think that would be a good idea.

Don't want me to just

jiggle your blobs a little bit.

What are you from us?

You know, any other day I would have said, oh boy, sure.

But not today, Rolfus.

Not today.

Now, coming up on stage with some spoken word is joy.

Joy let it out.

Signed myself up while you guys were talking.

Oh wow, okay.

Joy, let it out, sister.

I

felt fine.

In fact, I felt nothing at all.

But today, I realized that I feel bad.

And that's okay.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I feel really bad.

I feel really bad right now, and I probably will for a while.

And, you know, I've never performed in front of people before, so I really appreciate you all being here.

You're natural!

Your emotional honesty is compelling.

I want to dump you!

Thank you for listening, and my name is Joy.

Joy?

Joy?

Yes.

It's us.

Yes.

The panel.

We're here at Happy Hour getting blasted out of our minds.

Drunk as a monk.

Yes.

That's not what that means.

I didn't recognize you guys without.

You're wearing funny hats.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you look very different.

Listen, we know our panel's not until tomorrow.

Right.

But we couldn't help but notice you're working through something right now.

Even though what you did up there wasn't really poetry.

It was really good, right?

It was good.

It took a lot of breath.

It had like meter and like

what you did was incredible, Joy.

Your pot was on the floor.

You really wallowed in it, and we love that.

You know, whenever we go to happy hour, we always bring off paperwork.

Yes.

That's right.

And even my stamp.

So, Joy.

Oh.

Wow.

Congratulations.

You've been dumped, and you know.

Joy!

You just got approved.

No, no, she's just gone through the first steps.

Am I going?

Yeah.

Oh,

how many steps are there?

Four, four steps.

D-U-M-P.

Sure.

Denial.

Umbridge.

Medication.

Medication.

Medication.

M-Peace.

Oh, wow.

Okay, yeah.

I've never made it to Umbridge before.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, Joy, hey, listen.

I know this has been a pretty painful day for you, but it seems like you're making a lot of progress.

And I think you're going going to step down as governor here before you know it.

I mean, it's been a long time.

Sure, sure, sure.

Okay.

You know, the days are long here.

What?

What?

The days are long, but the nights are longer.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Are the members of the panel also dumped?

Good question.

Okay, good question.

Why are you looking at each other at?

Alright, we gotta go.

We gotta go.

I'm flying.

I'm fine to drive.

No, I'm just fine.

Let me drive the spaceship.

I'm good.

Good for it.

No, come on.

Good for it.

Get down on the ground.

What?

What is it?

What?

Huh?

What did you say?

Did you say get down on the ground?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Weird.

You have received an audio transmission from Rebellion Headquarters.

Playback will follow decryption.

What's up, my rebels?

It's Samo here with a super cool message.

Yeah, Sam will tell him the message.

Yeah, week, I'm doing it right now.

Sorry, I am so dusted out.

Yeah, we spent all our Rogue Norton winnings on a big old bag of dust, baby.

Hey, you keys that bag is a tent.

Anyway, listen up.

Support for our rebellion against the lame-o Federated Alliance.

Comes from Squarespace.

Yeah, we would totally build the Rebellion website using Squarespace, but like we did it because we're either on super important missions or totally the bow.

Or both.

Or both.

But Squarespace is how the Rebellion built our awesome site, the Rebellion.space.

We're all

man.

You can find a brand new, crazy encrypted communique that we like cannot figure out.

We were like, we'll just do more duck and we can figure it out, but no.

No, Samoa, we're supposed to deliver a message.

Wink, we're delivering the the message now.

But it's encrypted.

No, the encrypted message is on The Rebellion.space, the awesome exclusive site for crazy rebel intel built with Squarespace.

Yeah, it's got your mannequins, Rev Top Poster, and Harp Tardigas and Vice Cons.

And a link to this crazy offer, a free Squarespace trial,

and a special discount

when you buy a site or domain at squarespace.com/slash zix using the offer code Z Y X X.

It's crazy.

That's a dustband by the checkers.

The rebellion.space.

And send.

Cause it's a message.

Yeah, just send it.

Did we?

We did.

Oh, yeah.

End of message.

Hey, Nermit, we are all set.

Rolfus is sleeping it off in my room.

Oh,

that's awesome!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was not super happy about leaving.

He said a lot about Mike.

He seems like he's amazing.

I think he's gonna be fine.

He's gonna be fine.

Wow, that's amazing.

One of the rebel commanders is in the ship, the other rebel commanders are gonna be so happy.

Yeah, yeah.

What?

Oh, man.

Yeah, Nerman, your parents might be impressed that we're

leaders of the

menu.

Yeah, I mean, I'll let them know when I talk to them.

They're not coming.

Well, it turns out they got their dates mixed up.

So my dad had like a Zyball match.

Your dad still plays Zyball.

He's pretty old for years.

He just was watching a

match on

it.

But I mean, you know, it's fine.

I'm sure they'll come sometime.

I'm sure they're proud.

Yeah.

Hello.

Hey, Commander Gundu, Emissary Deck Center here, just letting you know.

I'm in the middle of my spin class, you know, I'm just getting my

When you're alone, you have so much time to be like self-care.

My face is glistening because all of my pores are gone.

I have zero pores right now.

How many pores do you see?

We should have some pores, though.

I have zero pores.

Okay, all right.

Did you find him?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, he's he's safe.

He's with us.

He's all good.

Just

sleeping.

Sort of asleep.

He sort of barfed a lot.

Okay, good.

So he's not doing well, is what I'm hearing.

That feels good.

Okay.

Well, Commander, thanks so much.

Just

happy to help.

Feel free to snap a photo of him

asleep.

Not doing well.

Seems like an invasion of privacy.

Okay, have fun.

Long live the rebellion.

Long live the rebellion.

Huh?

You know, I gotta say, I think the pendulum has swung.

I think Sisu is maybe in a little bit of a denial about the whole situation.

She reminded me of Joy a little bit.

Hey, I'm back here.

I just wanted to say I am doing well.

I just finished my spin class.

Cool.

And now I'm just running.

Wanted to zap on in to let you know that my body is hard as a rock.

He's still asleep.

Yeah, he's still asleep.

Good.

Now, was he with someone?

He is alone.

I don't care.

I don't care.

Long live the rebellion.

Long live the rebellion.

She hopped off a spin class bike and immediately began running.

Something is

wrong.

I'm back.

I just wanted to check it.

Listen,

we are about to jump to hyperspace.

You know what is hyperspacing?

This tight dress I have on.

Look at it.

It ain't tall.

Wow, that is like a ball cap.

Yeah, we're in a ball.

Can you hear this?

She is so pissed out.

Okay, well, she want to like have this picture of me and my date just like out in your shape.

She don't need to.

Okay, like put it out there.

Sure thing.

All right.

Okay, goodbye, Lock with the Rebellion.

Lock the rebellion.

Guys, amazing job.

See you soon.

All right, Nerman.

Over now.

You know, guys, I think I really learned something important about relationships today.

Wonderful.

Congratulations.

Now, excuse me.

No, no, no.

No, Dar, actually, this kind of involves you because, you know, we all have different ways of dealing with being separated, Dar, from the person you may care about most, Nerman.

I'm feeling very flustered right now.

Very flushed.

Don't be embarrassed.

We all have our ways of dealing with stuff.

Sometimes coping means, you know, hanging out with a Roran named Chad or a corpse named Alex.

No, now, C-53, I'm not going to just walk away from an uncomfortable conversation.

We have to talk this out because we are friends.

I care about Don.

This is C-Red IT5, credits and attributions droid commencing outro protocol.

Emissary Plex Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Benn.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Party the Ship and Rebel Leader Sisugundu were played by Mujan Zulfagari.

Missions Operations Manager Nermick Bundeloy and the Dumps Bartender were played by Seth Lynde.

Rebel Commander Rolfus Tittle and Vino were played by Winston Noll.

Joy was played by special guest Alex Song.

Alex has appeared on Girl Cook, The Week of, and The Chris Gethard Show, and has written for The Tonight Show, Night of Too Many Stars, and Comedy Knockout.

She co-hosts Agent AF at the UCB Theater in New York City.

Follow her on Twitter Twitter at Alex Snogg.

This episode edited by Seth Lynn.

With sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

This episode was recorded at Robert Doggy Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York, and Forever Dog Studios in Los Angeles.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Kretsley.

Ship design for the Bargary and Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making Season 2 possible.

This episode features original improvised breakup songs by Woodston Knoll, Shane O'Connell, Mujan Zelfagari, and Jeremy Benn.

Check out their music videos and plenty more rewards on our Patreon at patreon.com/slash vision2zix.

I can't look at all the dudes.

They check me into speak,

check me into space