206: Dependents Day [ft. Laura Willcox]

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This

is mission to zix.

Everybody wake up, it's Dependence Day.

It's Dependence Day.

It's the best day of the year.

Everybody wake up.

Uh,

great.

Yeah, you know, we didn't celebrate Dependence Day on my planet.

What is what is Dependence Day?

Emissary Depends.

Do you consider Dependence Day is when any ship that contains sentient beings gets to declare their dependence, which they can write off on their taxes.

Oh.

Alright, well.

That is the sweetest gas you ever had.

Oh.

It's like swimming in a bowl of cherry soup.

Cool.

Alright.

Um, is anybody else really cold?

Everybody's pressing body temperature is like hovering around like

140 degrees or something like that.

No, no, no, something's cool.

Are you okay, Dar?

I'm just not.

I don't.

What?

Oh, no.

Yeah, something's wrong.

Maybe you should go back to bed.

I'm fine.

No, that's not true.

Dar,

one of your scales just fell off.

I need to see somebody.

Oh, boy.

What?

I think that's probably no.

Dar, I don't want to be indelicate, but is it because you jucked that corpse?

I don't know.

Wow, that's actually a pretty strong probability that she picked something up, yo.

Flexa, I want you to look me in the one open eye that I have right now.

Okay.

You have to promise me something.

Yeah, anything.

You have to kill me.

What?

Right now?

Yes.

No, no, Dar, I can't.

I can't promise that.

I mean the one

half open eye that I have.

She's

promise me

if I'm not

okay.

Can I give like a time limit or something?

You have 12 hours.

Okay, oh my god, Dart.

I'm gonna fix this, okay?

I'm gonna figure out a way to fix this for you.

Everything's I'm not gonna kill you, but if it comes to that, I will because I promise, because I'm your friend.

Okay, thank you.

Okay, would you just rub my head a little bit?

Yeah, that's the thing I can definitely do.

Dark, are you drinking enough water?

My species doesn't drink water.

Oh, of course I'm so sorry.

Are you drinking enough sand?

Hmm.

I have a glass of sand by the bedside table.

Alright, I'm gonna go get that glass of sand.

Huh?

Dirk species need silicates too?

Sure.

Interesting.

You can put my head a little harder.

Okay, I'm just going, really going at it.

I feel like I assumed you had a skull, but

I'm not.

Should I?

How hard should I push?

As hard as you can.

Okay.

Am I gonna hit brain or something?

My brain is not up in that part of my body.

Okay, all right.

Yeah, you're not worrying real.

My brain is here.

Oh,

yeah.

So you should know that when you kill me.

Okay.

It seems to me when

no one else is excited about Dependence Day, so I guess I just don't really understand what it is.

Like, it's kind of just a big party.

A tax party?

Well, all the ships get to write off their dependents, so they get money and they also get a free tank of gas.

It's just our Independence Day.

Yeah, I mean, I guess that's cool.

But what does it mean for the, you know, for every Tellurian?

You get to be written off.

I feel like that happens to me almost every day.

They give you a hamburger if that

makes you bubble boaster.

Yeah, when they fill out the forms, usually there is a big cookout, so that's fine.

Okay, great.

And then we explode people who aren't dependent into the sky.

What?

Okay.

Hey, Nermit.

Well, first of all, happy Dependence Day.

Yeah, happy to share it.

Yeah, Happy Dependence Day.

It's amazing.

Dependence day light show.

That's ever.

Well, it's not just a light show.

They're shooting people who are not dependent up into the sky and they're just exploding them and into people who are independent people.

Feels like vindictive a little bit.

Emissary Texan are consider that a person who can claim no friend among any ship is really the sort of person you want hanging around.

Yeah, I guess.

I don't know if I'd shoot him into space, though.

But anyway, so Barbara,

I hate to interrupt.

Yeah.

Something's wrong with Dar.

I feel like we need to find like a Dar?

Like a weird alien doctor.

This is fortuitous because Bargie, I've sent a lot of printouts to you.

Do you see?

Yeah, they're printing out right now.

Okay.

Hold on.

So

it's taking a while.

So another part of Dependence Day is obviously this is when there's open enrollment for the Rebellion's healthcare plan, which Dar, we need to get you on it immediately.

We could probably just send her to a doctor first and then

yeah, you should try to be in network if you can with the rebellion.

They have preferred providers.

If you guys can just gather up these printouts?

Grab the

copy of these, Nermit.

I read it in a paper.

Okay.

Okay, well, they have a printer on SR headquarters.

So what you're gonna do is you're gonna fly to SR.

SR?

Sentient Resources.

Yeah, sentient resources.

And also, Pleck, I think you had tight eye, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the egg.

Um, it's gotten bigger, but also, my vision has gotten a lot better.

So, this thing is about three times the size it used to be.

So, everyone, um, get to SR because Pleck needs an ophthalmologist.

Dar needs probably a

Pleck.

Yes.

I need Pleck.

Yeah, what can I do for you?

Yeah, you're joking.

Maybe delusional.

Something's wrong.

Where'd you go?

I'm right here.

Don't go far away.

No, okay.

This is very strange.

All right, Bargie, can you take us to SR?

Already going.

I'm so excited.

Jackie, can I have a blankie, please?

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I have no idea where that is.

Maybe because I'm just a baby.

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Me!

Goodbye!

I just can't believe the rebellion has such a deep, bureaucratic system in place.

Well, healthcare is a famous weaver's nest.

I mean, yeah, but the rebellion, I always sort of thought, was like this bunch of rag-tag freedom fighters, you know?

Oh, yes.

Uh-huh.

Hello,

take a seat.

Happy Dependence Day.

Thank you very much, SR.

Can I have a lollipop?

Do y'all pop?

Sure, you can get a lollipop.

Do y'all have a hamburger?

I'm not super hungry, but I'll probably get one later.

Oh.

Do I need

to?

I mean, I can.

I mean, that is custom here on SR.

All right, yeah, I mean, you know, sure.

Just be careful, though, because the guy who makes them, Flaxoid, I heard he doesn't really wash his hands after he goes

to the bathroom.

That's just what I heard.

Please don't tell him I said that.

I won't.

Yeah, no, I won't.

What is your name again?

My name is Texas.

Texas?

Great to meet

So, y'all ready to declare your dependence?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Emissary Flag Dexon.

No, that's not.

That's actually not.

Yeah.

We are all

C53 and Security Officer Darling declaring his dependence for the Bargerian J.

Okay, and I assume that you have the appropriate forms.

Of course, you'll have known that we have upgraded our system to paper.

And

we upgraded to paper.

what was it originally it was digital of course but we found that to be full of flaws so we've upgraded to paper actually it's very hard against like uh cyber terrorism uh

paper yeah yeah well you could steal it though what if somebody loses the binder

well don't tell anyone I told you this but Saraxon in window a has lost the binder really he's lost most of his stuff yeah you know taxes it probably helps helps for you to, like, work at a desk job because you've got all those sort of arms that can be filing multiple forms at once.

You know, everyone on my planet, we're really good multitaskers.

It's just sort of what we do.

Yeah.

And your eyes can point different directions too, so you can keep an eye out on your fellow office mates.

Yeah, I like to kind of

know what's going on at all times.

Like, down the hallway, way behind me and to the left, someone's getting fired.

Right now.

Get out of here!

You get out of

What?

I worked here till just now.

Oh, gosh.

Rod help us.

I guess uh

we have I think most of the forms, but uh we ran out of paper trying to print them all out.

So I think we're missing 1222

and

4171.

Here I got these right here.

You guys can fill them out right here.

Texas, if I don't know what my pre-existing condition is, what should I write down?

Um I would just write down that you seem a little misshapen.

But that's sort of always

my

constant shape.

Okay, yeah, I would just list your species as a preexisting condition.

So

that's really not for me to say, but yeah, probably.

I did hear that some people are getting turned away just based on the mood of the person reviewing their forms.

I guess you could say, yeah, my mood.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Is that a roundabout way of saying that, like, we want to stay on your good side, or you're not going to, you know, approve our forms?

I really have disclosed too much at this time, but yeah, pretty much.

Okay, wow.

That's sure.

Taxi, taxi, did you hear something?

It might make you real angry.

Do you know Charlene down in 1818-5?

I know Charlene down in 1818-5.

Apparently, she got together with Florgorg.

Get the juck out of here.

I'm just saying.

Florgor.

Your ex-Florgorg.

I'm just saying, what do I know about?

Who is that?

Well, that really does rankle my tangle.

And my tangle does not get rankled very easily.

No, I was going to say it's very straight.

Thank you.

I had a little work done on it, but

I'm not going to go off now.

I would never have known

that.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I just want to make sure that we're not wasting our time here.

We really need to get health care for our security.

You're not wasting your time, okay?

You're not wasting your time.

Unlike that biatch with Florgorg.

Yep.

Here's the summary of the meeting where we talked about the new phone system.

Okay, thank you so much.

Hey, real quick.

Did you hear a little rumor about Florgorg?

Well, I'm not one to like repeat gossip.

No, no, me neither.

I would never, but can you just tell me everything you know sure

so I heard that florgorg was doing some decently deep hanky panky in the supply closet with both echelon binkle and the lamp de lamp I'm sorry did you say

a lamp no no no no no no not a lamp the lamp the lamp yeah um are y'all are y'all almost done with your paperwork right now I'm sorry I'm just skidding I need to my break I need a break I need to take a break we're trying here

Yeah, there's a lot.

Okay.

Now, the Bargerian Jade has to fill out some forms though, too, right?

Yeah, I mean, absolutely.

They kind of have their own bureaucracy that's sort of separate from ours.

Oh, so she's in a different SR that's just for ships.

Oh, ship resources.

Okay, the number of people inside of me, um, uh,

you know, it could be three or four.

It's been five at some point.

You really should know this.

Yeah, I just

think it's two.

I'm gonna say two.

Two?

Yeah.

Okay, if you get this wrong, the consequences are dire, but I trust that you're right.

You know, let's put the infinity sign.

Oh,

that's a good catch-all.

Okay, um,

next

question.

Uh, is morale generally high or low?

Oh, very low.

Low.

I mean, you were ship, you understand.

Like.

You're not doing what you want to be doing.

What's your dream?

I wanted to be a singer.

Yeah.

I was a movie.

You know who I am.

And we all know who I am.

Yeah, that's what I know.

Look what I'm doing.

I'm sitting across from you today.

Yeah, no.

Neither of us wants to be.

So my morale is.

Could it be better?

Yes.

Yes, we all know that.

You know that.

So we'll say mid to low?

Mid to low.

Mid to low.

Sometimes.

Very low.

Okay, so we'll say.

Infinity sign.

Infinity sign.

It's a good catch-all.

I just don't understand how Florgor could do that to me.

I mean, we broke up because I was overly satisfying him, but it's fine.

Wait, you were overly satisfying him?

I don't have a whole lot of relationship experience, but if I he doesn't, but he should, because he's such a good boy.

I would think people would love that big, beautiful eye of yours.

Don't you?

It's so swollen and glistening.

It's not even his best feature.

It sees real well.

Yeah.

I sort of feel like it sees so well, it's not even me seeing it.

It belongs to our friend the cat who's watching.

Hello, yeah, that's true.

So, you have a giant eye that's not your own eye, that is gonna count as a double pre-existing condition and might disqualify you and any of your progeny.

You're gonna check that box in the form.

Wait, I have to check a box that says my kids don't get health care?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Well,

it states that pretty clearly.

Texas, yep, Texas, yeah.

We both wanted to give you the news.

We printed out an email from Florgorg.

It was in Florgorg's drafts folder.

What's it say?

It's a picture, actually.

Oh.

Probably could have just sent that email.

Just forwarded it to the email.

That could have been hacked.

Papers the future.

Yeah, I guess so.

What is it?

Just show me.

What is it?

It's the lamp without the lamp on it.

Oh, so the lamp is a lamp.

The lamp is a lamp.

No, the lamp

is a a De Lamp.

He's just got sort of like a conical head and a very long, skinny body, and then like a round, flat circle at the bottom.

And he admits lots.

But he's not a lamp.

But he's also an asshole.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know this is not in the spirit of dependence, Dave.

Wow, these characters aren't even halfway through their forms.

Listen, Texas, if you could do anything at all to help, we just really need to get to a doctor.

These are all my forms.

Take these Texas.

Oh, that is my daddy.

Here you go.

Take it, take it, take it, take it.

Oh, don't file those.

Please don't file those.

What?

I'm sorry, they've already been filed.

Oh, boy.

Dar, you listed your race as Tellurian.

My view is Tellurian.

No, but you're not Tellurian, Tar.

Listen, Texas.

Oh, wow.

They are falling out.

They're really calming.

People are shedding all over the place.

Texas, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but if there's any way you could just expedite this process, then we might see a doctor immediately.

Texas, tell us the truth.

What's the bribing situation like here on SR?

Oh, that's a good

point.

Are you all willing to kill?

What?

Who do you want?

Are you talking about us killing your ex-boy?

Black is ready to kill.

He looked me in the eye today and he told me he would kill me within 12 hours.

Oh, that's just true.

Said you would kill her in a minute.

Where do do we find this person?

Well, I heard this, and don't repeat this, you didn't hear it from me, but I heard that Florgorg's going to be in the alleyway.

Right?

You see this dark, long alleyway that leads to the little cubicle I'm sitting in?

It's a long, complex maze.

It connects the whole bureaucracy of SR.

Huh.

You want us to head into the maze, find Florgorg,

and take him out?

I would never say something like that, but if that were to happen, that would make this process much faster.

Also, you need to let me know what kind of sweet gas you guys want for your shape.

I think she said cherry.

Yeah,

cherry.

Yeah, we got cherry.

Like a sweet cherry soup.

That's the exact one.

Yeah,

that's my favorite soup.

Do you drink gasoline?

Wait, dude,

do you?

How do you know?

Of course, I drink gasoline.

Look at me.

I mean,

I guess.

Yeah.

All right.

Next question: Do you have any dependents that do not reside inside of you at this current time?

I have a son, okay, named Blimpby.

He's an amusement park.

Mm-hmm.

I have a manager I don't speak to anymore.

Mm-hmm.

There's been a lot of people, you know what I mean?

Yeah, boy, do I know?

A lot of people coming in and out from inside you.

And they wear shoes.

I'd sorry.

What's that about?

I would never.

I want you disgusting.

If I had feet, I would never.

Well, first of all, I had long legs.

Yeah.

So that would chop my feet off.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

So I'm just gonna put an infinity sign.

Okay, quiet.

Man, this

is a long hallway.

I mean, this is like a tumble.

Yeah.

Also,

we didn't really get any description of Florgorg.

I feel like we didn't get enough information.

Yeah.

Do we think this is Florgorg in here?

Uh,

I mean.

I mean, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Sorry.

I'm so sorry.

She was so loud.

Did it hurt everybody else's

little baby?

Darling, maybe just don't open random doors.

Maybe get head back to Bargie and take it easy until we sort this out.

No, I'm dependent on Black.

I can't go anywhere.

Okay, you can just keep following me.

Are you guys lost, Ready?

You guys okay?

Oh, yeah, but guys, you look sort of lost.

Can you help us, please?

Of course, I can help.

Give me one sec.

I'm just wrapping up a phone call.

Hospital of childhood cancers.

I just wanted to make a donation.

Yeah, Happy Dependence Day to you, too.

Okay, love you.

Bye-bye.

Sorry about that, guys.

I was so rude.

You didn't even say what your name was to them.

It's an anonymous donation?

No, they know me.

I do this a lot.

Oh,

that's...

But my name is Florgorg.

What's your name?

Oh,

C-53.

I'm a protocol in diplomatic relationships.

I'm Emissary Pleck Dexter, and this is our Security Officer, Dark.

It's wonderful to meet you all.

Have you just gotten a little lost?

I know these mazes can be so confusing.

You know, we just came back here.

We were actually looking for Delamp.

Oh, I can show you to his cubicle if you want.

You could just tell us where you can.

You can just tell us, yeah, we just probably just played.

Hello, I'll walk you over any excuse to see my friend Delamp.

Okay.

You and Delamp real close?

We're lovers, in fact.

Oh, really?

Oh, you and Delamp?

Yeah, yeah, I found a deep kind of love with Delamp that I've never known.

It's like, my life has finally begun.

Do you know that feeling?

I do.

I do know that feeling.

That's so beautiful.

Oh my gosh, Delamp.

How are you, sweetheart?

I was just talking with some strangers, and they asked me about you, and I was explaining how we're lovers.

Oh, my gosh, that's so funny, because that is actually exactly what I'm doing right now.

We are so psychically linked.

Crazy.

Love you.

Love you, Florgor.

Anyway, here's DeLamp, and here I am.

What can we do you for?

Oh,

just

could I talk to you and see for a second?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, just one

second.

Absolutely.

We'll just be in love.

You can't kill him.

I know.

I think he seems like a really good.

I kind of thought he was the villain in this situation, but maybe Taxis.

I think Taxis

is not a good person.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think we may have gotten this whole situation all wrong.

Florgorg, do you think we have room in our house for even more adoptees?

I don't know.

I think we do.

I mean, would you guys want to be our dependents?

Yeah, would you?

I'm sorry, are you talking to the three of us?

No, no, we're on the speakerphone with our prospective adopted children.

Oh, sorry.

Listen, Florgorg, can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

What do you know about Texas

Texas oh I'd still call her a dear friend of mine yeah even though we might have ended on not so good terms what happened

uh well I just broke up with her and she didn't really like that oh yeah okay that makes sense yeah

that kind of makes a lot

well uh you know I think we found what we were looking for here we're just gonna head back to our desk where we were filling out some forms okay well make sure you guys stick around for the light show oh yeah Oh, yeah.

It's really something for us.

Yeah, I was going to say, does that bother you at all that you shoot non-dependent people into the sky?

No.

I just always assumed if there are people in the world who don't love anyone, then it's probably a great honor to die.

And in your death, you make so many people happy.

Right?

That's an extremely positive way of looking at diet.

Yeah, it is.

Also, DeLamp, I feel like you, you, of all people, really value illumination.

What do you you mean?

What's that supposed to

get at?

Dr.

Delamp, Dr.

Delamp, there's a patient here.

Wait,

Delamp, you're a doctor?

Yes.

Yes, he is.

I'm a podiatrist.

Listen, Delamp, I hate to ask you this.

Can you take a look at my friend Darr?

Sure.

Oh.

Oh, boy.

your friend R been exhibiting a.

It's weird to say it on this day when we're celebrating this, but maybe an extreme sense of dependence on anyone really?

Yeah, yes, yes.

Hmm.

Did uh

this is a really touchy question.

Did your friend R, um,

how to say this?

Have sex with a corpse?

Yeah.

That all checks out.

You're a good podiatrist.

Uh, Dar, can you lay down and show me the bottom of your feet?

Luckily, this happens to be actually a

no.

Wow, weird.

It's a

oh,

foot disorder.

I don't know if this was in response to your request or she has just passed out, but these are her feet.

Alright.

Florgorg, hand me that syringe.

Of course, baby.

Thank you, baby.

Thank you, baby.

You're welcome, baby.

Thank you, baby.

There sort of feels like there's a time crunch here.

There is.

Black.

Black, come here.

Come here, please.

Okay.

Time is almost up.

You have to kill me.

No, I can't.

No, we're about to cure you.

Oh, no.

You got a doctor.

You promised me.

We're just going to stand this in the foot.

Tar, are you feeling okay?

Yeah.

Hey, great.

Whoa.

Dr.

Delamp has done it again.

Listen, Dr.

Delamp, I really can't thank you enough.

And I gotta say,

great healthcare.

Well, unfortunately, I'm not in network.

What?

This is gonna be very costly.

In network for the normal

awesome.

It's gonna be incredibly expensive.

Um,

last,

have you been rehearsing for the Dependence Day dance?

Yes, great.

I've uh I've memorized it.

I've added a couple of my own additional moves to it.

I know, I know, I know.

I was thinking about doing a little tush shake and a hatch open.

Oh, a hatch open.

I like that, actually.

People don't usually do that because then, you know, all the you know, stuff comes out.

Stuff comes out.

They're not stuff.

People call it stuff.

They're not stuff.

They're our insights.

It feels amazing talking to another ship.

Thus, it feels really good.

Happy Dependence Day.

Uh, Texas.

Yeah, she killed him.

Listen, about that.

It didn't.

We were not able to kill Flora.

What?

I mean, first.

Well, a couple reasons.

First,

seems like a good dude.

Real good dude.

That is exactly what he wants you to think.

And did you meet DeLamp?

Delightful guy.

Great doctor.

Of course, I know DeLamp.

A great doctor.

Well, I mean,

he cured Dar.

Almost instantaneously.

Yeah.

Wow, you really do look better.

Thank you.

Listen, Texas, thanks for your help.

Thanks for filing those forms for us.

You're welcome.

Thanks, I guess, for nothing.

This is the worst dependence day since last year.

What happened last year?

I killed my lover.

Oh, okay.

Wait, so

hold on a second.

Also, if that was a bad dependence day and it didn't happen this year, what do you want, Texas?

I don't know what I want.

Okay, all right.

Okay.

Okay, I am just fundamentally unhappy, and I like to push that on to other people.

I'm a bureaucrat.

Okay.

Listen, your self-awareness really makes up for a lot of your shortcomings, Texas.

Thank you so much.

Did y'all get a hamburger?

Did I ask that already?

Yeah, I know.

We decided against it because of the hand washing thing.

Oh, you're not going to.

Okay.

All right.

You're too good for a hamburger.

No, we're not too good.

You just made it sound like a bad idea.

I don't have any recollection of that.

Hey, everybody, the ships are doing the dependency dance in the sky.

Wow.

Look at him go.

Man, I didn't think Pargi had moves like that.

Ladies and gentle fellows of

SR, please gather around the dais of the super big stage

and wonderfully observe the explosions of the independence.

Wonderfully observed.

Yeah.

A one

Joseph Rain.

All they say is they say their names.

It is beautiful, though.

I don't know.

Oh my gosh.

I heard he owed the government a lot of money.

Oh, I heard that he was actually a pretty nice guy.

It's too bad that happened to him.

Very sad.

I don't know much about him.

Just bleep.

And now,

gather around the dais of the such big stage for the grand

finale

of this.

Why are we still here?

Dependence day celebration.

Harvard the car.

Courtney the loveloop.

Edward the tour.

Cindy Sydney.

Bob the Squealer.

The panco.

The banking.

The doorstopper.

Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Horse and the Cat, Lukla, Airbnb, Tator, Tillazilativ, Susanna, Susanna, Eric Bendin, John, John, Susanna the Tahoe, Aaron the Targi, Brian the Corkmanster, the waiting.

No fireworks stopped.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, Brian the Corp Manster is a dependent.

No,

no, no.

Dart, is it weird that I'm your parent now?

No, because

you and I were both denied coverage, so it doesn't really matter.

Get to file again next year.

Oh boy.

At least we weren't shot into the sky, huh?

Honestly, I'd rather not have healthcare than be shot into the sky.

Like you need healthcare.

Yeah, you're probably not.

It's ready to burst.

Emissary Deck Center, I have an incoming transmission from Missions Operations Manager, Nermit Thunderboy.

Hey, Nermit.

Hey!

Nermit, who you

are up.

I'm good.

What is that hat you're wearing?

This?

This is uh dependency Day hat.

It's...

Looks like a picture of orange beer turned upside down.

Yeah.

I thought I had with my hat.

Oh, boy.

Wow.

Having a great time over there.

Having a really good time, but it's really lame when Dependence Day is on the middle of the week because you still have to go to work the next day.

I mean, you're still at work.

Oh, that's true.

Good point.

Well, for what it's worth, Nermit, you know, we filed the paperwork.

Dar and I did not qualify because of our

pre-existing conditions.

Oh, yeah, the big eye and the weird stuff.

Yeah, yeah.

But Dar is mostly better, and I can see real well out of this eye.

So everything is great by us.

Oh, good.

So I'm about to go on this trampoline.

You have a trampoline at work?

Well, it's like they brought it out for the Dependence Day celebration, and I'm going to pop up on it.

Watch.

Oh,

there's a lot of much larger people on the trampoline.

No, I'm going to be four.

Oh,

you have to watch those hollow little bones, Nermit.

Nermit, are you covered?

Did you did you put in my

we had to file your paperwork?

Yeah, why would we file yours?

You know what?

What?

Oh, wow.

Happy Dependence Day.

Okay, alright.

Alright.

Have a good one, Nermit.

Bye, Nerm.

Good luck.

I feel like we should end this dependence day with some of the dance moves that I did during the day.

Oh, yeah, those are really good, Bargie.

I really liked those moves.

All that swooping?

Okay, one, two, one, two, three.

Two little swoops.

Two little swoops and a swoop.

No, hey, Bargie.

Two

swoops.

Two swoops and a swoop and a deep dive into space.

You go up and you shake your little tush.

And you open your hatch.

And then you close it.

You close it.

And you open your hatch again.

Take a look, another cycle coming by.

Time flies when you're riding it and hopper drive.

Clear out that landing pad right next to you Got a full take of chair and gasoline for two Glow up the fireworks backing off your face Coming from those lonely losers that they're blasting into space Take a swig, let those engines detach Maybe later on we'll do a little hatch

Whoa, and it's that time again

Declaring cargo passengers and friends

Whoa, it's just you and me.

Finish up that paperwork, just write down immunity.

Whoa, whole grinding, wings wanted.

We're flying

for you.

I got three small words to say

this dependence day.

This

This is C-Red IT5, credits and attributions joined, commencing Outro Protocol.

Emissary Pleck Deck Setter was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bend.

Security Officer Dar was played by Alec Kokesh.

Bargie the Ship was played by Mujan Zolfogari.

Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy and DeLamp were played by Seth Lind.

Texas, Floorborg, and Bargie's SR Rep were played by Laura Wilcox.

She's appeared on Inside Amy Schumer and You're the Worst, and she's currently writing for the Jim Jeffries show.

You can find her parody wedding guidebook, I Am Bride, on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

Follow her on Twitter at Laura underscore Wilcox.

There are two L's in Wilcox.

This episode edited by Seth Lynn with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making season two possible.

This episode features the hit single, This Dependence Day, by stroyed country legend Jordan Bakorkin, written and performed by Shane O'Connell and Alta Finn.

Want to blast it at your Dependence Day cookout?

Download the MP3 at the Rebellion.space.

Not to paint everyone on a binary spectrum of being good or evil, but Texas seemed like maybe not a good person.

Yeah, yeah.

Bad person.

Very bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, bad, very bad.

A pack of dogs is chasing.

Sorry, someone's at the door.