204: Pro of Cons [ft. Nicole Drespel]

This is Sea Red IT5 with a special announcement.

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Hooray for Hollywood!

It is a period of civil war.

The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Now, rebel emissary Pleck Dexeta and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff.

This is mission to Zix.

Yep.

Okay.

Rolling.

One, two, three.

Welcome to Budgie's house.

This is Baji's house.

Boom, boom, boom.

Zoom into like all the electrical things.

Just like give everyone a big access to inside of me.

This is the area where everyone hangs out.

Baji's house.

Hey, Bargie.

Hey, Bargie.

Sorry.

Wait, I'm rolling.

Play, get out of the frame.

Okay.

We can just edit around that.

Can I?

Sorry, can I just add what is going on?

What is this?

What's the camera for?

Switching ships.

What?

i don't know i have no idea extremely popular what is it about

residents of ships uh switch ships and attempt to

quality of the interior of the ships to like two crewship that uh that they did this on they uh they got an amazing film career now they're doing a bunch of holos you know oh this is like that show ship flippers Where somebody buys an old ship and then flips and then sells it.

That's a little different.

That's a little different.

How is it different?

There's only one ship in that program.

Oh, I guess that's okay.

Embassy Dexter with an incoming transmission from Mission Operations Manager Nermit Bundley.

Hey, Nermit.

Hey, guys.

How's the new office?

Check it out.

All the data cables go through these trays on the ceiling, and they're like quotes on the walls.

And can you see down that hall, there's like bibby pong tables that you can just use whenever?

And they're like little meeting rooms with whiteboards.

And you see how someone just went by on a little scooter?

Very revelly looking.

Yeah, yeah, and look, check out this chair.

Oh man, I can go really low and then really high, and I can stand up.

Okay,

well, congratulations.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Oh,

how about a mission?

Yeah, let's do it.

Great.

Okay.

Give us our mission, mom.

Yeah, you know, missions operations.

Missions operations manager.

Now we can just call you mom.

Missions operations Manager.

The letters M-O-M-M are the forward word mom.

No, I get it.

I just don't think that you have to say that.

Now that it's a much shorter name, you don't even have to shorten it.

Mom just rolls right off the garage.

I mean, it's hard.

I don't really remember your name or not.

Yeah.

It's one of the first words we learned, so it's pretty easy for all of us to say

mom bundaloi.

My first word was death.

Your first word was death?

Yeah.

It's extremely common on Darth Planet.

Wow.

Okay, I would go by that.

Death?

Death.

That's like a really cool rebel name.

Three cents?

Huh?

Uh, Nermit, what's your mission?

Okay, so here's the deal.

Uh, this mission is coming from uh rebel commander Sisugundu herself.

Uh, yeah,

so here's the deal: they were so pleased with the mission on Gash, I suppose, is where we ended up, retrieving all the water, which the rebels are very hydrated right now their skin is looking great and they're thankful for that and so we're going to do a high-level multifaceted infiltration mission

absolutely yeah this is a mission that the rebellion has been trying to pull off for a long time and they finally feel like they have the team for it

is the team they're referring to us

yeah what did you say what do you mean what did i say no that we they were just really impressed with the water mission and I also told them how we were like one of the best teams in the Federated Alliance.

Well, that would be an accurate.

No way.

We were below dead and missing teams.

We were sabotaged and never got to reach our full potential.

Sabotaged by our own

usually me.

Sure.

Yeah, you know what, Nerman?

I'm on board with this.

Give us a big juicy mission.

Let's sink our teeth in and kill it.

So keep going, buddy.

Okay, so Bargie is going to fly you deep into Federated Alliance territory so you can steal something of incredible value to the rebellion.

And you are going to at some point meet up with

a serious artist

of cons.

A Connor?

Yes.

A swindler.

Yeah, sure.

She's going to get you inside.

Charlatan.

That's another word.

Yeah.

A confidence woman.

Is that a longer version of that?

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Her name is Tresidora Lonley.

Lonley.

Hmm.

I don't know.

Well, I love her already, so I can't.

Where are we meeting her?

So, yep.

Because she's meeting you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, someone else is in the.

I always forget to tell you.

How long has she been here?

Like three days.

What?

What?

How have you camouflaged yourself like that?

First rule of a con.

If you're not already conning, you're getting conned.

Wait,

you're getting conned.

I mean, yeah, I guess.

Yeah, always be conning.

Exactly.

Your costume is incredible.

Thank you.

Part of the ship.

Yep.

I'm a master of disguise.

Treasure, allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Emissary Plekdexeter.

This is C53 and Dar.

And of course, you've been hiding inside of the Bargarian Jade.

Welcome.

Gang, you're telling me stuff I already know.

Any con artist worth their sale, of course, done extensive research before hiding out on a ship for three days.

Yeah, it's time to actually get to work.

Are you ready to work?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Absolutely.

Let's do it.

The second rule of a con is everyone's involved in the con.

Guys, I have a day chock full of meetings here, so I'm gonna sign off.

I just could not be more excited for you.

You're gonna go in deep.

You're going hard.

You're gonna...

Yep.

Why were you making such strong eye contact with Dar when you said that?

No, I just I was looking at each of you individually and I um

death signing off

So chosen to our friend you can call me Trey Trey yep

Trey I'm afraid the exact details of the con were left out of our mission briefing sure have you uh I gotta ask this I'm getting a sort of a new kid vibe.

Have you guys pulled a con before?

Yeah, well, you know what's con, uh,

With you?

With me.

Oh.

We had 14 wonderful years together.

We made a couple of hollows.

Bargie, that doesn't sound like a con, that sounds like a relationship.

Yeah.

He's uh,

he's my son's father.

Wait,

Bargy, Blimpy is the illegitimate son of spaceship Spielship?

Yep.

That kind of explains why he wants to be a theme park.

Yeah, it sort of puts things into perspective.

I've always kind of thought you gave Blimpy sort of too much of a hard time, but man, he's got a lot to live up to and he's not doing it.

He looks like his father in a time.

Anyway, let's move past.

Why are we talking about me?

Well, you know,

C-53, you have a long history.

You've pulled a couple cons in your day, right?

Good with sleight of hand.

This frame regret

does have quite the finger decks.

Here, watch.

Take a card.

Okay, great.

Put it back in

You got it.

Oh,

yep.

The fingers are very sticky.

That's the problem.

Sure.

Permanently sticky.

It's not a problem.

Because one of the most important things we need for this con is sticky fingers.

Okay, they're back in.

Great, great.

So, C53, you're going to be sticky fingers.

Oh, that's your

con name?

It's your con name, it's also what your role in the con is going to be.

Great.

Well, Dari was like practically a con person for a while.

Perhaps you're aware of my most famous con.

There were 11 of us.

We were all out of the game, but

this one old friend really wanted to get us all back together.

I haven't heard of that.

No?

No, I haven't heard of that.

I don't busy myself with other people's cons.

Third rule of cons is: if you're worrying about other people's cons, keep your eyes on your own con.

Oh, that makes sense, yeah.

Yeah.

The fourth rule is the most important rule.

Why is it not the first rule?

Because you don't want to overwhelm people with the most important rule.

You want to build up to it?

You want to build up to it.

That's a tip, not a rule, what you just said.

No, no, she was setting up the rule.

Yeah, I'm explaining why I'm getting to the most important on fourth.

It's not going to work if we're not friends.

It's not going to work.

That's the fourth rule.

Yeah.

Is that the fourth and final rule?

Yeah.

Huh.

And I would actually say the first three rules, we're a con.

Wow.

There's only one rule.

Wait, do we have to be friends?

Any of these rules before?

Well, how well those cons go?

I mean, at first, you did get captured by the Alliance, and now you're here with us.

Okay, I was going to say, at first, it seemed like it wasn't going to work, and then it did work, and then it worked, and then it didn't work.

I think

that sounds like a textbook-long con.

I mean, yeah, I was the only fall person.

I'm the only one that was captured.

Is that why we must all be friends?

So that if at any point during the con, the con is exposed, then we won't flip on each other.

Exactly.

Billy, that's kind of folded into rule number four.

Yeah.

Being a good friend involves not conning your friends.

Yep.

All right, let's get down to business.

Okay, Dar.

Uh-huh.

Mary, Juck, kill.

Pleck, C-53, Bargie.

Oh, I thought you meant get down to business, isn't it?

This is business.

What is the fourth and only rule?

Well, friends, gotta be friends with you.

Okay, obviously, Mary C.

Thank you.

We have great chemistry.

Yes, naturally.

Juck Bargy, because talk about a story.

And then

death to plague.

Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Yeah.

That is sort of a softball.

Trey Lonely.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm not going to be rude.

Wait, is your last name pronounced lonely?

Yeah.

Why?

I'm just curious.

Yep.

Okay, okay, my turn.

My turn.

Chuck Mary Gill, Banan Forensic,

Jordan Bokorkin, or Gork the Sork.

Oh, oh boy, wow, that is...

That's tricky.

Well, Gork is so charming.

Yeah, Mary, I think Mary.

Mary Gork.

See, I think I would juck Gork.

What's it who would you marry?

No, no, no.

Can I ask a question?

How do when you guys play, does marrying mean no jucking, or does marrying include jucking?

I've always thought about it.

Sure.

Sure, sure.

Yeah.

Well, you know, I always thought just for the purposes of the game, Mary was like, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I don't get to juck you.

Right, that's what.

Okay, those are my rules to witch on to share.

Yeah, I mean, that's true of my own planet.

You marry someone that you spend the rest of your life with, but you only reproduce with other people.

Did Mary Juck Kill originate on your planetar?

Oh my god, I think it did.

Yeah, that must.

That makes sense.

Yeah, that really makes sense.

We marry and never juck the person we're married to.

We juck everybody else.

Yeah.

And then we kill at least one person every six months.

Yeah.

Okay.

That all checks out.

Wow.

We often played at the beginning of any academy semester.

You went to academy for cons?

Yeah.

UConn?

Sure.

Wait, do we I'm sorry.

Did we finish the issue?

Can I go to sleep mode now?

No, sorry, you're right.

You're right.

Let's get practical.

Okay, great.

Um, Pleck and C.

Would you grab this rope?

Yep.

Okay, just put it around your wrists.

All Alright.

Great.

And take each other's hands.

Sure, sure.

Unknot the rope without letting go of each other's hands.

Okay.

I just have a small helper arm that I can.

Yep.

Nice.

Okay.

Did that violate the spirit of the game?

I mean, no, because that's who you are.

And so that can't violate the spirit of the game.

That's great.

The rope is now tied around my hands.

I'm not really sure what to do.

Dar?

Yeah.

I want you to come over here.

Okay.

Grab Pleck's hands and get the rope off of his arms without letting go of his hands.

Can I I break his arm?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

Dar, please, please don't hurt me like that.

I'll just.

Oh, wow.

Slice it right in half with one of those chest talents.

There you go.

Thank you, Dar.

That was much cooler and much less painful.

Thank you.

Wow, I really feel like I'm closer to you guys now.

Sorry,

do we complete the mission?

Actually, Bargie, don't go into sleep mode, but shut down your sensors.

Everyone, close your eyes.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

okay

the ship has crashed oh and there's an escape it's a hypothetical thing is a thought

after the crash you find an escape pod sure it only fits you and one other member of this crew okay point at the person you're taking with our eyes closed yep okay

everyone's pointing yep

open your eyes

Okay, yeah, you're all pointing at C-53.

Okay, let's go con.

Oh.

wait, what?

I felt like you got us really close together, then you drove us apart real fast.

Yeah, yeah, and the con is gonna be about finding your way back to each other.

I don't know.

Who are we conning?

Yeah, who's the connie in this situation?

Yep.

The mark.

Yes.

Is she a connie, or is he a mark?

It is.

Are we conning a connie?

Yes.

Connie meaning the person the recipient of a con.

Yes.

Or the name Connie.

Right.

You're conning a Connie named Connie.

Yes.

Okay.

And Mark.

And Mark?

Yes.

A Mark named Mark.

Yes.

Seems awesome.

That can't be right.

What do we want from you?

Do you?

I'm sorry.

Do you want more information about these people so that you feel bonded to them?

Oh.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Because once they become friends, they're part of the con and we can't leave them behind.

Oh, wow.

Pleck, yes.

Yeah.

Wait, Pleck just figured something out?

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Now I uh

I'm going to go.

Uh

my dear wife is

making soup.

Does everyone feel like they know their roles?

I I gotta tell you, Trey, I have no idea.

Want to do a quick recap?

Uh, yeah, I'd love that.

Great.

Dar, you're back.

I'm back.

Yep.

You get that?

Mm-hmm.

Great.

Pleck?

Yep.

Pleck, you're on the up.

I'm on the up.

I don't get it.

Excellent.

Just see your sticky fingers.

Yep.

On the up.

Okay.

And I will be master of disguise.

Now, see, that I understand.

I could do that.

Maybe.

I mean, it's sort of a riskier position.

And I wouldn't, Pleck, I wouldn't want to put you.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll be on the up.

Good job on the crowd.

Good job on the crowd.

Even in informal wear, of course.

What brings you to Gemino?

Oh, uh, we're here to um uh we're here to attend the party?

Yep.

Okay.

We're invited to the birthday party.

We're old friends.

Oh, old friends.

Yep.

Yeah.

Well, if there's one thing a clip will let through to a party full of high-ranking VIPs of the Federated Alliance, it's an old friend.

Are you being sarcastic or what?

What's wrong with you?

No, good.

Great, because we're old friends.

Are you?

Just from way back.

Oh, you're old friends from way back?

Yep.

Yep, yep.

Oh, once I found out that you're old friends from way back.

He sounds facetious.

He sounds old.

Can we get up?

Can we get off the ground?

Oh, you can get off the ground.

Thank you.

Is there a lot of clint detail around the party?

I would say maybe

500, 600.

Great, and Dar, could you turn around?

Absolutely.

And on our back, could you just draw a map of where everybody well, yeah, I'll happy to draw a back map.

Yeah.

Here we go.

A lot of people don't know this, but I'm kind of the guy who's the best at drawing maps.

You're sort of a cartographer, Clint.

I don't know.

Okay.

Oh, could you just.

Yeah, right.

Like, yeah, I cut a knot there.

Oh, okay, great.

But this is compromising the mouth.

You're just drawing over that one spot over there.

Well, okay, see, that was very important.

The scale is sort of

all accurate.

Well, enjoy the party.

Old friends from way back.

I don't need to see IDs.

Get on in there.

Thank you, 0521.

These must be some old friends.

My name is Terrell.

I welcome you to the party of

Connie and her twin brother, Mark.

And this is my twin brother, Terrell.

Thank you, Terrell.

And here, of course, on Gemino, we are all twins.

Well, can you really be twins when you're attached to each other?

You know what I'm saying?

Well, yes, you literally definitely can.

Come, let me take you over here.

The speech is to begin very soon.

Welcome to our birthday party.

Today is the day we were born.

Both of us at the same time.

As you know, I am Mark

and I'm Kenny.

The Patsy Twins.

And as you know, here on our birthday, as is custom on Jebino,

Connie and I are leaving our most valuable safe open.

For you to peruse through all of our most expensive jewels and such.

As a show of trust to all the other twins on Jebinder.

Seems almost like a setup at this point.

Yeah, this feels like

a setup.

But I assure you, Connie, is it a setup?

Let me answer that.

No.

And as is also custom at these parties, the person who's the most pink gets the same speech to us all.

Oh.

Oh, that's.

That's Connie.

It's me, Tyrone and Terrell.

Let me escort you up, sir.

You're very pink.

What happened to Taraf?

Huh?

Oh.

But you were a different

attached triplets?

Then we somehow didn't see Triplets.

No, look from the other.

Look from the other angle.

It depends on which way they're out us.

We were perpendicular to us.

Gemino.

You were born on Triple.

Okay.

Okay.

This is a lot of backstory.

I feel like we don't need it.

You've called me out.

We called you out.

Give me your pink friends.

Get up there there and give a speech.

You're on the up days, the pinkest.

What is your name?

Say your name.

My name is Pleck.

Welcome, Pink Pleck.

That's Pink Pleck.

Yeah, so hey, just wanted to say, as a guy who just goes way back,

way on man, way back with

Pink Pleck doing his worst job will probably distract them for at least five to ten minutes.

That's all we need, right?

That's it.

That's all we need.

Dart, turn around.

Let's look at that map.

Residents have a certain labyrinth flight that they're going to do for sure.

The three of us and my twin flag.

And we don't want to lose our place.

So, see, it's probably good if you run your hands along the walls wherever we go, so that we'll know from the trail of stick that you leave behind

if we've been somewhere before.

Sure.

Is that why I'm sticky fingers?

Yeah, why else?

I'm just.

I could have just because we walked along and recording the whole time.

Okay, this is important.

We can't turn down this way.

When he was drawing, I felt on this top chute that there's a whole squad.

Yeah, you get down.

Oh, okay.

All right.

Show us your fake.

Oh, all right.

There it is.

No, it's a good fake.

It's a good fake.

All right, just leave.

Leave me alone.

All right, on your way.

All right.

Wow, that felt so good.

Yeah.

I never thought to do that.

A great speech.

That was such a wonderful speech.

Smashing speech.

Smashing.

Thank you.

What a lovely night.

The loveliest.

The way that the night is structured.

Yes.

It's.

I feel funny for even saying this.

But a crack crew could really come in and some real damage if they wanted to huh not that that would ever happen but well the first thing that would happen is that they'd have to have a fall guy who would create a distraction

a fun distraction

who's very large known for their muscles yes they would need a security person

yeah totally

okay now

Trey, what is the thing that we need to grab while we're in here?

Oh wait, what?

No, get out of the vault.

What?

Why would we walk into the vault?

Why wouldn't we walk into the vault?

Didn't that seem obvious?

We're at a birthday party.

What do you think the most valuable item here is?

The cake.

Yes.

I guess I don't.

We're wasting time.

Young man, young man.

Connie and I would like to invite you to our personal table.

Please come with us.

Oh, no.

No, you must come with us.

I couldn't possibly.

No, come with us.

Oh, uh, yeah sure we'll come back behind the stage behind the stage yeah uh this is a party in your honor yes of course but we want to talk to you okay

please everyone enjoy enjoy come with us black all right

black i'll tell you this when i think of the things that we have in that that vault

lots of uh like valuables or

we've got the jewels and the jewels are all conflict jewels conflict jewels oh boy wow also in the vault are all the checks that we have for all, you know, the murders that we

are hit men for the Federation.

We are rich hitmen who do it for sport.

We don't even cash the check.

Only on the weekend.

It is just fun.

It's a weekend thing.

It's a weekend thing.

Wow.

Just happy birthday, guys.

Happy birthday.

It's better than the alternative, am I right?

We're having fun.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Alright, yes.

How are you hiding so much stuff?

I have uh luggage.

Wow, I didn't even

realize I'm here.

Yeah.

Your fifth rule of a con is walk like you should have luggage.

Fifth rule, you told a

you said that there were

three rules to a con, and the fourth rule was the only rule.

The previous three rules were cons.

Yes, the fifth rule is walk like you should always have luggage, and the sixth rule is I lied about the number of

ground.

We could have just been telling them whatever for so long.

Such a fool.

I do feel a little foolish right now.

Clints are so sad.

I think the saddest thing about Clints is that they should all be friends when the only thing they can't be is friends.

You are blowing my jucking mind.

Pleck, it is just so refreshing to talk with someone like us, you know?

Yes.

So refreshing.

Yeah, no, I'm basically just like you guys.

Yep, just loving that alliance and killing.

even though you don't have a twin we still like you oh yeah well you know

it's a

good old fleck old tech

fleck or tech which was i know i sorry it was tech fleck is a different different guy is it your triplet we have a strict anti-triplet no absolutely no it's just the two of us just me and old tech right okay

Connie Yes, do you think he's a triplet?

Good rod.

No, that's not.

Actually, guys,

I gotta love with you.

I'm just me.

I just don't I don't have any any siblings at all.

I'm an only child.

I was born on a farm planet and uh what

what

Connie, let's kill him.

Oh, I'm sorry, you're gonna kill me

because you're an only child, which

is uh, it's despicable.

It's despicable.

Um, are you sure that's the tradition, though?

Cause that seems sad.

All right,

how do we get Pleck out of here?

Yeah, I don't know.

He's supposed to be on the up and he's in deep.

Yeah, he's not great, Pet.

Subtle

messages.

If one person is lagging behind, the group goes and gets them.

Because we're friends.

Connie, Mark.

You can kill me if you must.

But uh, I'm gonna uh just want you to do it slow.

What?

Yeah, I wanted to kill you slow.

Yeah, I want you to if you could if you could kill me in a way that take like eight, ten minutes, that would be ideal.

Yeah.

Pleck.

Wait, huh?

Pleck.

What?

Pleck, look up.

What?

Pleck, look up.

Yes, what?

Oh, so, guys, before you kill, I've just got to climb up this ladder.

See him!

No!

Ah!

Hey, Garth, save yourselves.

Trey has taught me something about friendship.

And I'm going to sacrifice myself.

You flattened cutty.

And I'll do that to you, too.

Try it.

Yeah, really.

Ugh.

You were supposed to be up.

See, I didn't really realize that physically meant.

I thought I was going to be like up in their face.

That was our meeting place.

Up.

We're escaping through the roof.

There was a lot going on, guys.

This got really weird.

Well, just every other name turned out to be very literal, so I figured that was going to be pretty easy to sure.

Well, if you want to get up to where we are, just follow the sticky fingers.

Oh,

is that what that was about?

Sure.

Listen, guys, thank you for saving my life.

I thought I was going to be the one to like sacrifice myself, but it turns out I was the one who got saved because you guys are friends with me.

So, regardless, I feel like we really learned something from Trey about friendship.

Okay, let's go.

All right, all right.

Trey, we made you proud by exhibiting the power of friendship.

Yeah, guys, this was really incredible.

It's been awesome working with you.

And I'm going to take this stuff and get out of here.

What do you mean?

What stuff are we taking?

Just the cake, and I'm just going to.

What are you going to do with luggage filled with cake?

You know, just head on out.

Wait, Trey, hold on.

Back to the rebellion?

Yep, yes.

Is the cake important to the rebellion in some way?

For sure.

Hugely.

I feel like the rebellion can make their own cake.

The rebellion, thanks you.

Okay.

Trey, I feel like there's something being unspoken.

Guys, you know, the most important thing about friendship is secrets.

So.

I thought that

was

no fun if you don't tell anyone.

What is happening?

Trey!

I was in that cake.

What?

Who are you?

Trey's best friend.

Best friend?

Yeah.

Trey, I think you have to explain what's going on now, because I'm very confused.

It feels pretty straightforward, but um,

guys,

don't be mad.

Um,

I

I conned you.

What?

You conned us?

Yeah, this was an unsanctioned con.

This con was actually a rescue mission.

This is my best friend.

Hey.

But we are all friends.

You told us that friendship mattered most, and we trusted you, and you conned us.

Guys, don't you think best friendship sort of trumps friendship?

But dang, I d the

the whole point, the whole rule of conning was that we were all in this together.

Right, but

close your eyes.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, where'd she go?

Oh.

Yeah, we shouldn't have done it.

We really trusted her right up till the end, and she screwed us again.

You know, she suggests something, and you're like, okay, I'll try it.

And all I wanted to know was why was her best friend in the cake?

We may never know.

Toodalidle, tootalidle, this little somebody call a ship?

Bargie?

That's not a ship.

My name's not Bargie.

My name is Little Boop Boop.

I'm your ship.

What?

Little boop boop.

Switch ships.

Wait, but she got the gig.

She got the gig.

It might be a tiny ship made of wood in space.

Sounds like a bad idea, but I have a lot of fun.

She's made of wood?

Bad idea.

Little boop boop.

Little boop boop.

We should probably get out of here.

Yeah, we've

just murdered the two hosts of a birthday party and stole the cake.

I'm gonna throw down some string.

I know we're all friends now, but this is really tight quarters.

It's all rocking chairs in here.

Why are so many rocking chairs?

No, no, come on, little boop boop.

I don't wanna hear you.

Oh, boy.

Sometimes I catch a fire, and that's really weird.

No, no,

no, no, no, no, no.

Little boop boob, how often does that happen?

Once every every all the time!

I don't know, I lost count.

Oh, uh, hey, guys, uh, Nermit is calling.

Uh, hey, Nermit.

Okay, I'm so glad I reached you guys in time.

Trey Lonely is not who she says she is.

You guys need to abort this mission immediately.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know.

We figured that out.

Oh, I'm glad you figured it out in time.

So, you want to come back to

we kind of got conned.

Ah,

hmm.

Well, anyway, uh, what is what is all that wood paneling?

I don't know.

Listen to a love story.

Could you get a could you arrange sort of like a pickup maybe before this ship catches on fire?

Sorry, I just heard a joke.

Do you want me to tell you?

I love you guys.

You guys are my friends now.

Wait, who was the crew that used to be on this ship?

Where are they?

I assume they're on Burger.

And I assume they're a bunch of little wooden boys.

Um, so, uh,

welcome to my ship.

Oh, I just heard a joke.

Well, well, tell it.

No, I just heard it.

Beto finally feels seen.

This is C-Red IT5 Credits and Attributions Droid commencing outro protocol.

Emissary Pleg Deck Center was played by Alden Ford.

C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent.

Security Officer Dar was played by Ali Kokesh.

Missions Operations Manager Nermit Bundeloy and conjoined triplets, Tyrone, Tyrell, and Tyroff were played by Seth Lind.

Bargie the Ship, Connie the Mark, and Little Boop Boop were played by Mujan Zolfogari.

Cloned Light Infantry Nomadic Troopers, Mark the Connie, and Bino were played by Winston Knoll.

Train LaLay was played by special guest, Nicole Druspell.

Nicole is a writer for the Chris Gethard Show and White Hot American Summer 10 years later.

She's appeared on 30 Rock and Broad City and performs every Friday night at the UCB East Village with Bucky.

She also co-hosts the Audioboom podcast Inbox with Matt Straub.

This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

This episode was recorded at Robert Docky Jr.'s Puppy Pound in Brooklyn, New York.

Music by Brendan Ryan.

Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for the Bargerian Jade by Eric Goyce.

Mission to Zix is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom.

Thanks, Audioboom.

A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters for making season two possible.

Do you you want to send a physical item to the Zig Squadron?

That would be red.

Address your parcel to the Zig Squadron, P.O.

Box 180-494, Brooklyn, New York, 11218.

And our team of trained Zerblins will take it from there.

Okay, okay, my turn, my turn.

Juck Mary Kill, Lauren Fisher, Dave Jijandu, or Gork the Cat.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy, wow.

That is...

Oh, that's tricky.

Well, Gork is so charming.

Yeah, Mary, I think

Mary Gork.

Mary Gork.

See, I think I would juck Gork.

But then who would you marry?

I know.

I mean, it's tough.

Yeah, now name him back.

It's just that

Gork.