MBMBaM 768: Face 2 Face: No Toes as a General Rule

1h 4m
We crawled out of the Other Worlds to bring you this show LIVE from Columbus, OH. It's a weird and wonderful show full of colorful mascots, colorful gyms, mysterious flesh wounds, and Travis giving actually very good advice that fixes everything.

Suggested taking points: Alien Shit for Big Boys to Swing On, Late-Stage Beatle, Blood-Emitting Sections of the Body, Incognito Gnome, Scuber

Mascot Madness slides: https://www.themcelroy.family/content/uploads/2025/06/Mascot-Madness_-University-Edition.pdf

Transgender Law Center: https://transgenderlawcenter.org/

Listen and follow along

Transcript

The McElroy brothers are not experts.

And their advice should never be followed.

Oh, Travis insists he's a sexpert.

But there's a degree on his wall.

I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there know how cool they are for listening.

What's up, you cool babies?

It's the start

of something beautiful.

A small acquaintance has blossomed.

It's ripened into a precious friendship.

I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach.

My life,

it feels love.

It's better, it's better with you.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

This is true, all

it's better, it's better with you.

My life,

it's better with you.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother.

My brother and me and advice show for the Modernera.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What's up, Trav Nation?

I'm your middle is brother Travis Vroom Vroom McElroy.

Hey, what's up, Trav Nation?

It's me, your sweet baby brother, Griffin3030, media luminary, Bill Ford Tough McElroy.

Hell yeah.

Today,

we traveled to another world.

True, true.

A world of a lot of sensory input all at the same time

for men who average age 40.

True.

And then

we were told we weren't allowed to climb on shit.

Yeah.

Other world was a truly transportive, wonderful experience, and you all are lucky to have it here.

It's a wonderful place, but they do need to let big boys climb on stuff.

Because they made everything look so fucking climbable.

Yeah, I think it's fucked up how they don't let big boys climb on stuff or hang on stuff or draw on stuff.

We decided to make this the launch point for our another world.

This after theirs.

Apostrophe in another world.

And in ours.

We put it in the empty best buy right next door to this.

Yeah.

I think it's an abandoned circuit city.

It's an abandoned circuit city.

No, it's blue.

Doesn't matter.

Soon it's going to be full of alien shit for big boys to swing on.

And ladders?

Fuck yeah, ladders.

There's going to be ladders for you to play on too, for sure.

And you know when you go to an escape room and they're like, we put stickers on vents and shit that you don't pull off the walls?

The stickers are for things you should pull off the walls.

Yeah.

The vents are suggestions.

The vents are opening offers.

You guys see what's behind those guys.

Also, if you're a kid at another world, you can't complain about how tired you are.

Yeah.

And also, if you you see an adult that's working hard on one of the puzzles you have to let them do it

you have to let them do it before you just start hitting a bunch of switches and buttons because it's the order of things Tyler I went green blue and then you just hit red

orange I'm trying to milk a space cow Tyler get the fuck out of here

I don't care if it's your birthday

My world really made a choice with the space cow milking room.

The rest of it, I was like, I see where you're going with this.

And then you do turn a corner and it's like, milk this fucking huge space cow.

I was like, whoa.

What I love, it really did highlight how it was for all ages because at one point, there was like weird vines, right, that had like udder-like growths out of them.

And I watched Henry, who's eight, be like, oh, udders, and grab one of the teeth.

And I watched our dad, who's eating a tiny tiny tiny.

And then I saw our dad do it.

Our dad tried to milk a big inflatable tentacle, and it was like, is this...

Do we need to have a talk and no one was looking it wasn't a bit for a kid it was done in a lot of sincerity i think he thought a puzzle was gonna come squirt squirting out i was puzzled to be fair if you haven't been to the other world it's in a um it's in a strip mall that is largely abandoned it's one of the most abandoned places i've ever seen It looks like an EMP went off and just all the stores, except for this Otherworld, right?

So it's this large black obelisk in the middle of this largely abandoned area.

And then it just says other world in nondescript letters outside.

And I kept thinking, I get it now that there's reviews and stuff online.

But the first person

who's in one of the scariest, most abandoned places I've ever been, and they see a sign that says other world.

Do you know how raw it has to be for you to be like, ah, fuck it?

Yeah, I'll get, you know what?

Fuck it.

I'll give it a shot.

Why not?

It's got to beat this, right?

Come on, let's go.

Let's roll the dice.

I was expecting to see a sign as we pulled up that it just said, this can't be the right place, Plaza.

It is, but it is.

This can't be it.

Oh, there it is.

Thank you for having us, Otherworld.

Don't yell at us next time.

We're big.

We're fucking high rolling.

We work hard grown-up jobs and pay taxes so that we can climb on Kosai.

Let's me climb on stuff.

That's right.

Kosai lets you wrestle the play the rats in basketball if you give them $100.

Kosai lets you touch a breast.

It's true, Griffin.

To be fair, Otherworld did too.

But it was that of a space cow, yeah.

Well, don't get choosy.

I remember going to, seeing the breast exam demonstration at Kosai when I was way too young to take that seriously in the way that it deserves.

And I was also there on a youth group trip, and that's when the wheels really started to fall off the wagon for me, I think, in my walk, so to speak.

Because you were like, this is way better than anything that Jesus guy did.

I was worried.

I was worried someone was in the youth group was going to see me do it.

So then I went right next door to the testicular check area just to be like, all right, I'm here.

I'm a scientist.

I'm a doctor.

I'm going to the Columbus Zoo on Saturday specifically to see their wombat.

Wombats are my favorite animal.

And they're one of the only, like only four zoos in the U.S.

that have one.

I believe his name is Glenn.

Fucking good.

That's a great wombat name that sounds like a wombat who has some worries.

Yeah, yes.

Right.

I picture Glenn like, oh, fuck.

I was supposed to turn that report in yesterday.

God damn it.

I desperately want to hug the wombat as this might be my only chance ever to meet one.

They are so round and adorable, but the zoo doesn't offer any option to give them extra money to pet or meet them like they do with some of the other animals.

You know the ones.

You know.

You hear the rumors.

How can I get them to let me hug the wombat?

That's from wanting the wombat from Williamsport.

Are you here?

Hello.

Yeah, you are.

Don't be embarrassed.

I was going to say,

hearing it said many times by my brother out loud, I don't think wombat is the right name for that creature.

All right.

Because it's not, it doesn't have many bat-like features.

We're not going to.

And And it's a big, when I hear wombat, what I want is a koala with bat wings.

Yeah.

That's what it should be.

And I'm now realizing I don't know what a wombat actually looks like.

I'm realizing that too, yeah.

I'm just picturing a koala with bat wings that I think I have been all day and thinking, yeah.

Yeah, that's exactly

what you got it in one.

All I remember is that they shit cubes and that's all right with me.

Pretty cool.

I think you could get away with asking.

I mean, they might not say yes, but I don't think that you become like a zookeeper without being interested in hugging the animals at the zoo.

I think that that's probably your third.

Sorry, you think that's the qualification?

No, I didn't say you don't, you have to be qualified in hugging.

I said an interest in it that when you're like eight years old, you're like, I want to hug that wombat.

So I'm going to go to years of schooling to become a zookeeper so I can hug that wombat.

You probably would not have an interest in hugging to be a zookeeper.

I don't think an interest in hugging should disqualify you, though.

I'm not saying a qualification.

I'm not saying they ask you in the job interview, hey, do you like hugging?

Get out.

I think what Travis is saying is that there probably isn't a zookeeper who, when they wander into the panda exhibit and the panda comes to hug their leg, they're like, oh, fuck, gross.

Yeah.

Oh, gross.

Thank you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, fuzzy.

Fuck, gross, fuck.

What I'm saying is that hugging is one of nature's first attacks.

And I think that if you are dumb enough to get lured in by animal hugs, I don't want you working at my zoo.

There's a high turnover rate for sure.

Can you say you are a location scout

for some sort of wombat-based

film?

Maybe we bought a zoo too.

It's front of mind for me right now in this present moment.

Wombatman Begins.

Womb Batman Begins is pretty good, Travis.

Yeah, absolutely.

We'll allow it.

You could say that you are the assistant of a perverse billionaire who really wants to touch this wombat, but you were sent in as the advanced team.

He has certain specifications he's looking for.

Yes, and then you can get in there with the wombat, really pick it up and examine it, and then set it down and be like, no.

He's not right.

This isn't the one.

You'll give the wombat a complex, too.

It'll be a great afternoon.

What if you were the first one to ask?

And they're like, yeah, you totally can.

No one's ever asked before.

Yeah,

why would we have wombats and not let people hug them?

That's mean.

I think you've kind of messed yourself up here by considering this one of the opportunities you have to hug a wombat.

Because you're saying it's the only chance you're going to have.

And I just want to remind you, it is also still not that.

Like, just because.

It's the closest to.

Right, it is like, just because you are in physical proximity to it does not mean this is like your chance to do it, right?

You still can't.

There's still quite a few.

The physical distance between you and the wombat is not the preliminary only problem keeping you from hugging the wombat.

Now let's assume that a zoo like a membership with as many times going as you want is financially feasible for you.

How many times do you think they would have to go and how long each time would they have to stand looking longingly at the wombat exhibit before a zoo employee was like, okay, fine.

Well, Trav, one of two things is going to happen either a zoo employee will take pity or they will eventually spot a crack you're eventually gonna want some weakness

you're just gonna be like bill murray at grad hog day just like slipping past the guards

every thursday they reset the electric fence power supply from 11 a.m to 1105 a.m

that's your window if i open the lion enclosure i can slip through there to get to the wombats no i'm glad they returned to the oceans universe, but I think oceans 14 was the weirdest

really low stakes.

I need some advice.

I'm here at your show in Columbus with my younger brother.

After we bought tickets to your shows this week, we found out our eldest brother is also a fan of the show.

Should we either avoid telling him and all of social media about this experience and keep it a secret?

Or do you brotherly experts know how we can break the bad news of his not attendance of this most likely amazing show.

That's from my brother, not my other brother, and me in Columbus, Ohio.

Now,

are you here?

Wait, no, hold on,

this is a big are you here before you say, Are you here?

If you are here, I need you to disguise your voice somehow, like you're being interviewed anonymously.

So, I'll ask, Are you here?

Okay, that's great.

Big missing.

Before we say anything else, I just want to point out,

this show wasn't sold out.

Totally could have gotten a tick for the Big Bro.

Totally could have

hooked Big Bro up.

No problem, Mo.

In fact, you're rubbing our nose in the fact that you didn't buy an extra ticket to this show.

If this show would have been sold out and you had emailed us this story, we would have found a way to

have done something, something.

We would have made it happen.

But no,

you went a different way about it.

Process of elimination.

They're going to figure out this is you and your brother for sure.

Okay,

before we do any jokes about this, I need to have a serious moment.

If you folks who enjoy this podcast, are not talking to your immediate loved ones about my brother, my brother, me.

You are are failing us in the most fundamental way I can imagine.

The idea that you have not spoken to this brother who not only might like our show, but does

about our show.

Danny's one of three siblings.

What if you're sibling?

What if you're doing it?

We're talking about a brother, a brother, and you.

And you weren't like, hey, you know what this fucking reminds me of?

Like it never came up.

You were never like, I wonder if Peter likes this too?

Like it never crossed your mind to even fucking ask like i checked out that zach brath show about the guy who started a podcast corporation i didn't want to but it makes sense yeah hey one second charlie and cooper can you say woo

those are my kids i'm trying to feed them with this podcast Just please, you have to tell your family members about our podcast.

That's a good selling point, too.

If you're like, this show's really good, and he's got hungry kids.

Yeah, hungry kids.

Please talk to your brothers.

oh my brother my brother me you for the reason and and any sibling to be fair doesn't have to be brothers but at least brothers yeah

for the reasons we have outlined you obviously cannot let your brother know that you have done this ever it is a crime the cruelty is unthinkable

um your capacity for it i mean so you're yeah you're gonna need to go dark everyone else needs to make up uh for the the darkness of social media that you are going to need to experience.

You cannot let a single thing.

None of you talk about this show.

No, the rest of you talk about this show.

This show didn't happen.

It got rained out.

You specifically need to burn your ticket stubs and then scatter the ashes into a river or something.

Maybe come up with an alibi.

Tell them you took a surprise trip just you and your brother to like Vegas and had a great time without him there.

You went to a taping of the Joe Rogan experience.

And not a live show.

You got to sit in studio.

But what if your brother is like, damn, I'm a huge JRE head?

Fuck.

If there's two things I love because of how similar they are, it's the Mowgroy brothers and the Joe Rogan experience.

Two great tastes that taste great together.

It's all the shared views they have.

I've only listened to two episodes of both, but.

Man, I feel like I'm gasping for a segment.

Oh, are you?

Yeah, Trav.

I'm dying for a segment, pal.

Well, I don't know if you guys know this, but we're in the home of the Ohio State.

Yes.

Which is home to the very famous Brutus the Buckeye, who is an anthropomorphic Buckeye man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

And it got me thinking about mascots, so I came up with a whole new segment called Mascot Madness.

Wow.

Wow.

Is there art for is this?

Wow, hold on.

This is really fucking abstract, Trick.

Hold on.

And play.

Mascot Madness.

University Edition.

Now, wait, now, hold on, dude.

Hey, dude, you just made this up and you're already doing an edition of it?

Yeah.

You're spinning it off?

It's like as it's coming into being, it has another head just extending from its abdomen.

The university new in stores.

It's the first Scenit game, Scene It Murder, She Wrote Edition.

Fucking.

It's a little thing called the Long Game.

I have a long view of this.

It's Trivial Pursuit.

Rugrats Edition.

The first one of them.

This fucking Quado emerging from Travis's mind is what it is.

I'm not going to apologize to you guys for having a plan.

You can, man.

I so rarely do.

I'm going to tell you about three university mascots and ask you a trivia question about them.

Okay.

Let's see our first mascot, Paul.

Fucking shit, dog.

Friar Dom, the mascot for Providence College.

He's got to be Friar Dom, though.

Are you sure, man?

Friar Dom.

Hey certainly a Friar Dom.

I'm not worthy to be in charge.

This monastic monster strikes fear into the opposing team and anyone who makes eye contact with him.

Griffin, do you want to describe him for the people at home?

Imagine the face of the biggest sexual deviant you've ever seen in your entire life with the hair of maybe a late stage beetle and...

I'm sorry, Mr.

Johnson, you have late stage beetles.

Imagine if the berries and cream guy went missing for three weeks and then re-emerged in a lake.

With an eight-yard-wide, ghastly grin across his face

and hungry eyes.

All right, let's see that question, Paul.

Fire Tom is often accompanied by what animal companion?

A.

Francisco the Sheep.

B, Brutus the Holstein Bull.

C, Huxley the Dalmatian, or D, Dingus the Fruit Bat.

I want it to be Dingus the Fruit Bat so bad that I'm going to say it.

I don't want the answer.

Yeah, you don't want to cheat.

We're

better than that.

But it does feel like Francisco the Sheep is the correct answer.

Yeah, I would say Francisco the Sheep for sure.

Yeah.

Because of the religious sort of color.

The religious angle okay let's reveal huxley the dalmatian yay

fucking cool i tell you cheated huxley the dalmatian's vibe right now is like yeah i'm hanging with friar dom fucking chill about it he's actually a super cool dude if you get to know him i know he's not good on first impressions or whatever but this just saved my life

Do you want to see the original Friar Dom and the original Dalmatian?

Yeah, we have to do.

Does he have a...

Yes, dude.

Yes, dude.

Right, that's Providence College's original Friar Dom.

And it used to be a live Dalmatian named Friarboy, but after Friar Boy V passed away, they said, you know what?

Maybe a guy in a suit is a better way to go.

He looks like in the they might be giants music videos when they would put like a big president head on them for some reason.

All right, let's see our next mascot, Paul.

Otto the Orange from Syracuse University.

All right, some Syracuse fans in the house.

I found conflicting reports here.

One that said he's the fruit, an orange, but also one that said he's an anthropomorphization of the color orange.

Oh, wow.

Okay, he's also spherical.

So I'm going to go back to the front.

It can't be true.

I want it to be the fruit.

All right, Paul, let's see that question.

Which of these...

Hold on, Paul, go back

and now go forward?

That's a different fucking guy.

Go back again and forward.

The vibe's way different, guys.

I like this guy.

He's going to sell you a lot of ticket that's already scratched off.

Yeah, dude.

It looks like his hat, if you can see the other angle of it, says, suck my orange dick.

It's all jumbled in.

CK, my orange dick, it's all on one side.

Which of these is one of the names considered for auto before being rejected out of fearing of rhyming with an insult?

A Cupid, B, Opie, C, Jingle Jerry, D, Art.

I mean, art.

Opie.

Art could be fart.

It's dopey, man.

People love Snow White back then.

Yeah, I'm going to say art just, but damn, Jingle Jerry's really.

I'm going to say Jingle Jerry because that's where my heart wants to go, Travis.

And you said what, Justin?

What I said was, Griffin, what insult?

Okay, thank you.

Justin got it in one.

It is Opie.

What's going on with his fucking morphology here?

What the fuck is up with his anatomy, dude?

Jingle Jerry would be Dingleberry, Justin.

Oh, thank Thank you, Travis.

This is him giving birth, actually.

Yeah.

Well, this is him after he had some ribs removed.

I finally did it, guys.

That's why I know.

Can you go back again, Paul?

Can you go back?

The reason he's so pissed off here is because he hadn't quite figured out how to do the next thing that it's image in the next slide yet.

Yeah, now he's satisfied.

He got what he needs.

Until that he was blue.

What is the...

Jesus Christ, Justin.

That's just one thing you could say.

Okay, next slide, Paul.

Fun fact about Otto.

He is portrayed throughout the year by a select crew of 10 to 12 students whose identities are kept anonymous.

A third fucking vibe they have put on this anthropomorphized orange.

This feels more like a trophy hunting.

Yeah.

He looks easy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Important mascot point.

If you give something legs, you can't take them away.

You know what I mean?

Like, once you say Otto has legs, he always has to have legs.

Otherwise, don't bring him round.

All right, and our final mascot, Paul, big red.

All right.

Western Kentucky University's Big Red.

Yeah.

The crotch area sucks to see on a big screen.

Maybe go ahead to the next slide, Paul, just so we don't get any

decency.

Which of these statements about Big Red is false?

A.

Big Red is non-binary.

B, students who portray Big Red must never reveal their identity.

C, Big Red is in the mascot Hall of Fame.

Or D, Big Red signature moves are the belly slide and the belly shake.

I have decided that it's C because I don't think the mascot Hall of Fame exists.

If they did, they sure wouldn't let in this fucking Reddit up vote symbol.

Man,

I mean, I also think it's C, but that's not very funny.

I'll say B.

I think if they let you be Big Red, you can be proud about it.

I'm the world's premier non-binary mascot, sports mascot.

Let's show the answer, Paul.

This belly shaking inside a non-binary icon was the first mascot inducted into the Capital One Mascot Hall of Fame.

Wait.

Students who portray Big Red are permitted to wear the Big Red gloves at their graduation to reveal their identity.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine?

They call that that nerdy kid from history, from

gymnastics class.

Why can't I think of a single college course?

We're too far out from it.

I guess so.

From science.

From book class.

From college science.

And he's like,

that blow my mind.

I love you, big red.

Yes, last slide, Paul.

Wait, sorry.

The first mascot?

Hold on.

Hold on.

The first mascot.

So

you're going to do a a mascot Hall of Fame, and the first one you get is this Jabroni?

Whoa.

Sorry.

What about Mr.

Met?

He's all right.

I don't know if he's eligible, Justin.

He's also kind of upsetting.

And he also bet on his own games.

Well, show me this at your

tease me with a skin.

Yes, Big Red is out there every game repping the WKU hilltoppers and the lady toppers.

Fuck yeah.

Hey.

Hey, it's probably

time to change that, don't you think?

I bet it is.

That's the original suit that was made for $300

and was approved of by the college.

Yeah, we love it.

We love it.

You get that irritated penis in there.

Yeah, for sure, man.

He looks like if the noid got run over by a big truck.

And that's mascot madness.

Thank you, Trump.

Thanks, Trav.

I love looking at those guys, it turns out.

I have a pretty cool scar on my big toe from the time I almost completely severed it with a hatchet.

Sorry, can you read the first part of that sentence again?

Because there was some clapping and I missed the anatomy.

I have a pretty cool scar on my big toe from the time I almost completely severed it with a hatchet.

I think it's a really neat-looking scar and I'd like to be able to show it to more people, but I don't know how to bring it up in casual conversation.

How do I organically get people to acknowledge and appreciate my cool scar?

And that's from It Really Is Cool in Rochester.

Are you here?

All right.

I'm thinking about the physics of it.

Yes, this is my immediate question is what's your toe doing around the action line of a hatchet?

I can't think of too many.

Before, if you almost severed, not split it in twain, mind you, which I get.

You had your foot foot at a rakish shape.

okay.

Now, Griffin, okay, now listen.

Before we get too sassy here, if used as directed, most hatchets do tend to avoid the blood-emitting sections of the body.

I would argue, if you have hit yourself with a hatchet, something has gone terribly wrong with the arc of the hatchet.

No matter where you hit, it was an unfortunate occurrence, I think, Griffin.

It doesn't matter if it's the toe or anywhere, it was probably a big mistake.

Was it, can you just shout a one-word answer?

Was this an injury of hubris or of accident

yeah yeah

you know what without saying yes or no i get it yeah for sure now

i

generally speaking am not scoping toes yeah

uh-huh so you someone who is scoping toes to me I don't think you'd go around, you wouldn't walk into a room like, hey, I scope toes.

I'm not scoping toes.

If I was the type of person who scoped toes and I saw a big scar on a toe, I'm not going to be like

the idea that I'd be like, what are those?

At your scar is.

I will say this.

If you're like out there in like sandals with this cool scar, they're not going to bring it up, but they are excited if you like, hey, would you like to know how I got this wicked scar on my toe?

You're going to have to do a lot of like propping your feet up on the cooler.

Yeah.

No one's going to ask.

You could wear a show and it says, ask me about my bad toe, and people still would not ask about it, I don't think.

Oh, but you could use it like a like a early 2090s like abc sitcom dad like you know seems like life's got you down you didn't do too well on the test you know what that reminds me of the time i almost cut my toe off with a hatchet oh what's that you'd like to see i bet i bet you would but first let's talk about premarital sex or whatever

There's you know when you have when you commit premarital sex, it's a lot like you're cutting off a part of your body that you can't get back.

Now, luckily, I didn't go all the way with my toe.

I stopped at third base.

You'll have a lot more than a scar if you commit premarital sex.

That scar is going to be on your soul when you get to heaven.

Sorry, where?

Heaven.

That's where Mr.

Bean goes when he dies.

I don't care how

I know Mr.

Bean goes to hell for sure.

I don't care if you figure out a way to bring it up in conversation.

You can sell this story to me however you like.

I am not, I repeat, not going to look at your toe.

You could make a trailer for this story.

You could do a fashion shoot for the toe.

You could buy a cameo for me from the toe.

I'm not going to look at it.

No way, no how, no thank you unless the scar spells something out

their name

what'd you say your name was Michael you're never gonna believe this shit

I almost cut my toe off in the shape of your name you gotta check this shit out

How'd you almost cut your toe off with a hatchet?

It should be barefoot?

We're not gonna get the answer to this.

Can you text someone a picture of your big toe scar and then

immediately follow up with oops, wrong person.

Please delete.

I thought Griffin met to like our organization, which we

can't be more explicit.

We don't want to see your toes.

And it's not because of the scar.

That's just a general rule we have about toes.

You don't want to see no toes.

No toes.

Here's what you do.

Are you ready?

You go to the people who are most important to you in your life.

You tell them, hey, listen, if I I ever get in a horrible accident and you have to identify my body without my head on it, I need you to see this scar.

If I get too crazy with the hatchet again,

listen, that hatchet's out to get me.

Sometimes I see it in dark alleys following me around.

If that hatchet ever gets me, I want you to be able to identify the wound.

Griffin, I'm so mad, man, because Travis has had one of the best ideas I've ever heard, and you cheapened it into a joke.

Travis had such a great solution to this problem.

I can't believe you turned that into something as puerile as a goof.

Travis just solved this one, Griffin.

We should take a moment to recognize it.

You're right.

I can't tell if you're serious or not.

I'm not used to this kind of feedback.

I guess I assumed that any suggestion we gave that had anything to do with when you talk to your friends and family about your death,

that it wouldn't actually be on the level.

But I apologize for misreading the situation.

Speaking of, have I told you guys about when I die and what I want?

How are we going to identify Travis probably from his many tattoos I would guess as a starting point that can be faked

I Need you to look inside.

I've swallowed a series of objects

The order is important right one of them is a key, but it's not the one you think is a key

I'll show you the diagram backstage.

It's color-coded.

That matters.

Okay.

I'm not gonna hold your butt up to a candle, Travis, no matter what you say.

God damn it, Justin.

It's in my will, so you legally have to.

Legally, we have to hold his butt up.

I begrudgingly.

You need to carbon date some of the items.

Sure, thank you.

We will.

I begrudgingly lift weights twice a week at a trendy, we'll say color-themed gym.

Sometimes my annoyance slips through

my filter, and I'll mutter things out loud like,

sorry, girls.

Fuck this shit.

And I could be eating a donut and watching Endor right now.

My spouse needed a minor minor procedure recently, and the surgeon told me in the post-op that he recognized me from the gym.

I can't stop thinking about what he might have heard me say.

Brothers, how do I stop blurting out complaints when I'm pumping iron?

That's from Please Don't Spot Me in Columbus, but are you here?

Yep, yep, yep.

It's Orange Theory, right?

What are you worried about Orange Theory coming for you?

No, they'll kick you right the fuck out.

Oh, man.

Orange Theory does not listen to

That's where the splats come from, dude.

It's from people who got out of line.

They get splattered.

They get turned into splats.

Oh, splats are people.

Orange splats are people.

You gotta cuss to get strong.

Yeah.

Cussing is strength entering the body.

When you let the profanity out, you're making room for the power of the weight.

There was a scientific study, wasn't there, recently?

Yeah.

That if you curse, it makes you strong.

It's that's true yeah it scientists did this oh you remember and it was in all the journals and if you did something you cursed it would make you more powerful very briefly yeah are you talking about the brain child episode that our children watched yesterday on netflix kids there's yes i believe i am talking about that data yes travis um there's been some research where cursing make you strong i believe I don't get why more I also go to the gym.

I know.

And

I don't get why everyone isn't cussing.

I'd feel so, no one, listen, even if you feel good after the gym, even if you feel good about how much it hurts to do the gym, no one fucking likes it, yeah, right?

If I said to any strong person who goes to the gym and works out all the time, you could look like this and feel like this without having to do it, they would do that.

So, why isn't everyone like, fuck this, constantly while they're doing it?

I'd look around and be like, Yeah, man,

I agree.

Totally.

I get this.

Is this an opportunity for us to open the world's first nasty,

R-rated, but only for language, gym?

And you can climb on shed.

You can climb on one.

Climb on anything you want, ride on anything.

And no one's allowed to slam the weights down when they're done.

Those are the three things.

And everybody has their own machine that they bring from home.

And they do it outside because we couldn't pay rent this month.

And

I have been thinking about there's a gym that I see in Cincinnati all the time called House of Pain.

Fucking, yeah, man.

I want to open a bakery right next to it called House of Pain.

That's convenient, too, because you wail on the pecs and then a little treat afterwards.

Yeah, treat for the peck whale.

You fucking earned it.

Because that shit sucks.

It sucks so bad.

That's why I had to give it up, man.

It was too bad for my walk with Christ.

That's why I can't work out anymore.

I cursed so much.

And like all the weights I left in the world, if I get strong like that, I still can't be really, truly strong.

Yeah, if I'm having, there's a lot of distance between

you're not strong enough to carry the weight of the sins.

You know what I mean?

The walk with Christ is purely an aerobic workout.

There is no

problem.

And sometimes he has to carry you.

You can't even.

Yeah, for sure.

Like, no matter how much you walk, you can't keep doing it.

See where there was one set of footprints?

That's where you had no gains.

Yeah.

They never mentioned in that thing how disappointed Jesus sounds in that moment where he's like, that's why I carried you.

Fuck, Jeremy, really?

We've been walking for 10 minutes.

What gives you?

The hotel's right there.

I told you, don't wear those shoes to the beach.

I'm going to end up carrying you.

Do you think when that person finished footsteps, they were like, there it is.

The funniest thing anyone's ever done.

There's the setup.

Let the punchlines roll in.

It is the first half of the the greatest joke in the world you can pull it at any point and it still kills

hi everybody it's us the mcroy brothers what's up yay justin here oh okay you know you know what really brings the mcroy brothers together ad reads ad reads

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Plus, the power of beautifully designed and easy to set up websites is what brings the McGroy brothers together.

If there's one thing we can agree on, it's website design.

A lot of people forget that My Brother, My Brother, Me, the podcast was spun off from NBNBAM.com, the website.

True.

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So that's what we had to start somewhere.

And you know, we agree on Squarespace because Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.

They have cutting-edge design, everything you could possibly need to set up a beautiful and functional website all of your very own.

Yeah, you never know when you're going to need to pop up a website, when an idea will strike you.

And Squarespace really lowers that barrier.

It lets you get right started on your creative project before the spark flies away.

In fact, Griffin, Griffin just had a great idea right now.

Griffin, what's that idea?

Well, I'm not going to say it here because someone will snatch it up.

And that's what I did want to say.

If you're a listener of our show and you have an idea for a website, I'm going to find out.

I'm going to snatch it up before you get to it.

so you better use squarespace fast yeah you better hurry head to squarespace.com slash my brother for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code my brother or one word to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain

Subscriptions are like a little burglar who comes to your house every month so that you can continue watching your programs, getting your creams, whatever you're subscribed to.

You're enjoying this stuff, but if there is a little burglar, sometimes you stop stop using the creams, that burglar still comes unless you kill him.

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Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name, MyBrother, My Brother and Me, in the survey so they know I sent you.

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Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from my show.

And a

quick couple announcements for everybody.

Thank you so much to everyone who came out to see us in Columbus.

The shows are great.

It was super fun.

Thank you for having us.

Next up, we're going to be in Anaheim doing Dadlands and My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

And then in Sacramento doing My Brother, My Brother and Me.

And later, we're coming to Texas, Georgia, and Utah.

All Taz shows this year will be Taz vs except for the Anaheim Dadlands show.

So tickets for all those shows are on sale now.

More info and ticket links available at bit.ly slash MacroyTours.

And go check out the merch over at the Macroy merch store, macrowaymerch.com.

There's a new 20 Thunder Drive pin.

There's a Monster Factory sticker set.

A thanks for vibing and keeping it tight.

Tees are back in stock.

10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Transgender Law Center.

Thank you, Montane, whose new album, It's Hard to Be a Fish, is out now.

Fucking rips.

I was listening to it this morning.

It's so good.

Also, I just announced I'm writing a choose your own adventure book.

It comes out next March.

He hasn't signed any deals to do it, but he's trying to use the power of visualization to get it in the universe.

I wrote it in a little envelope and I put it in a balloon and I let it go into the sky.

But it is real and it comes out in March.

It's called The Stowaway, and you can pre-order it now at bit.ly slash griffinstowaway.

And it would be very helpful if you would do that.

The book's going to be great.

Enjoy the rest of the episode.

Sorry, Justin just burped.

I was clearing my throat, actually.

And we will be back with another episode next week.

Bye.

Bye.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lom.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

We are going to turn things over

to you all now.

We're going to call some folks down to this microphone.

If we can get a light up on this microphone here at Stage Center, right down this center aisle.

When you come down to the microphone, if you want to tell us your name, your pronouns, if you would like, and tell us what your question is.

And we will do our best to do the thing that we do.

Hi, how's it going?

Oh, it's lit from below dramatically.

Whoa!

Okay.

This is wild.

Wow.

Yeah, I love it.

Okay, hi.

Hi, I'm Meredith P.

Hi, Meredith P.

Hello.

She, her.

Hi, Meredith.

What is your question?

So, my neighbors,

they put this garden gnome.

out by the curb, like that it was trash, and it was really cute.

And so, I really wanted to, you know, know take it and display it in my own yard but then they would

probably see that I had displayed it and been like why did you take our trash and display it so I was wondering like what

how how could I do that take a trash gnome and make it yeah different unrecognizable enough to your neighbors that you wouldn't get clocked on it yeah can I answer your question with a question yeah Isn't it wild that there is a section of yard that someone can put a lawn gnome in and you're like, That's not decoration anymore, it's trash.

Where if it had been like four feet further back, you'd be like, That's not fresh.

Right, someone's beloved,

and you're like, I can take that, and they won't care.

Yeah, what would you say to a Sharpie mustache?

Ooh, incognito.

Incognito.

I think it's gonna need to be more than that.

You're gonna need to rub in to your neighbor how bad they fucked up by not taking better care of this gnome.

You're gonna need to set them up with their own little rec room area in your front yard.

With like footprints going from where they left it

to your yard.

Yeah, with a note, a note at the start of the footprints that says, I'm way happier now.

And see if you can make it bigger and stronger.

Maybe like some paper-mâché muscles and absorption.

If you had taken better care of me, I could have been bringing those.

Since I got with Meredith, I've been taking way better care of myself.

This is my revenge bod.

Meredith, what I would ask of you is that it doesn't so much matter how you get this gnome over into your yard from their trash.

But here's what I am going to ask.

The next time they put something out in the trash, I do need you to go over and put that in your yard too.

So if they leave an exercise back out there, I need you to go get the bike and put it in your yard, put some flowers on it or something, be like, hell yeah.

And then move the gnome one yard over to your other neighbor's yard.

Keep throwing stuff away, idiot.

I'm going to keep taking it.

And then eventually loop it back around down the street, back to their yard.

Now it's a closed loop yeah this is meredith that's how we build neighborhoods yeah does that help meredith yes that sounds like a great plan thank you so much meredith thank you

um

okay hello hi hi i'm uh katie h i had a question the last time i saw you live about hot air balloons you had a question last time you were on the live episode of mabimbam here in columbus can you give a brief primer to the folks who were not at that show yeah so every year i've lived in my home home, a hot air balloon has landed, crashed, or tried to land in my yard.

Right.

I'll be honest, Katie, a lot of the questions kind of run together in my mind.

When I saw this one, I was like, oh yeah, I fucking remember that.

Now, to be fair, last time we talked about this, we determined that Katie needed to stop putting out the hot air balloon feeders that were attracting them.

Sure.

So

what's the update?

So I took your advice and I bought a cactus and...

Fuck, that's good.

Yeah, we didn't know that, man.

Good job, bus.

Good joke.

I haven't had a hot air balloon land in my yard this year, and that is the first time in the five, almost six years I've lived there.

It's June.

Okay.

Are we like the McElroy cylinder year fiscal year or what?

Yeah, how do you measure the year in hot air ballooning?

It's been a year.

How do you measure?

Measure a year in hot air balloons.

Okay, so no balloons.

I'm excited for you.

So what's your question now?

I kind of miss them.

How do I end up?

I'm kind of missing them.

Listen,

I can't believe you didn't see that coming.

How many movies have you watched where someone has become burdened by, say, a lot of penguins?

And they're like, I want to get rid of these penguins.

These penguins are a burden.

And by the end of the movie, they get rid of the penguins.

And they're like, fuck, man.

You know what?

I miss those penguins.

Mr.

Popper was like, how am I supposed to jerk off around here with all these penguins running around?

around?

How am I supposed to pop off?

That's what he calls it.

Thank you.

Yeah, absolutely.

Did you get rid of the cactus?

No.

Well, Katie!

There's a clear causal connection between you getting the cactus and the hot air balloons not crashing and landing in your front yard anymore.

That seems like a pretty good first step.

Here's what's going to happen.

You get rid of the cactus.

A little baby hot air balloon is going to come up.

And you're going to have to earn their trust.

But then all the big hot air balloons are going to see that that baby hot air balloon has a great I'm still fucking thinking about birds.

Yeah,

thinking about birds.

Never mind

Have you seen the balloon land at other houses near your house?

Oh god, like your neighbors.

Yes.

You're fucking kidding me, Katie.

Katie,

I'm going to tell you something, Katie.

I had a joke written in my head for when you said no.

And what you did was you said yes.

I said, I have no.

I mean, I don't, that's bad.

why I can make jokes about that, Katie.

Don't feel bad.

It's just, it surprised us.

It was very surprising.

Was there a look on the hot air balloon pilot's face where they went, mmm, what now?

Or did they look at you kind of side-eye like?

You could have had this, but you were playing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Have you thought about giving the cacti to your neighbor as a gift?

And then all of a sudden they're the asshole, not you.

Not to say, I mean, you know.

No, he's saying you're an asshole.

Not like that, okay?

Not like Travis meant it, but does that help?

No, you said it!

Can you put out a big basket of snacks that says for hot air balloon pilots only?

Wait, hold on.

How do they feel about seeing a basket in the yard already?

Dude, no, it's not in the yard.

You float the basket, man.

Think about that.

You put a bunch of smaller balloons on the basket.

You float it up and you're like, free snacks.

Of course they're going to land there.

Yes.

Yeah.

Turn your house into a up house.

Thank you.

Do a uphouse.

Now you're like an airlock for hot air balloons.

Make it so they have to crash in your yard.

Because your yard is the scout.

Although, I gotta warn you, Katie, if you turn your house into an uphouse, you may just start to tell those other balloon guys to eat your dookie.

Because

you've got the greatest feat of ballooning, a home that flies.

Also, Katie, with a harpoon gun and some serious training, you can make any goddamn hot air balloon land in your yard that you want to.

Katie, does that help?

Thank you, Katie.

You did great.

That's what it looks like, okay?

It's pretty creepy.

Hello.

You're not Katie.

Thank you.

You can still see her to this day.

It's the lighting, Katie.

It's not you.

Hello, you, Katie.

Okay.

So this is, we've, I don't think we've ever brought two people up to the microphone at the same time.

I assume you're Christina and Dylan.

Yes, yes, yes.

I want to start with Christina.

Christina, if I may just sort of, I'll read Christina's question, which we saw first, and then about an hour later, we saw this question from Dylan.

So we'll start with Christina.

Do you mind if I read your question?

Okay.

How do I respectfully ensure that at least three guests decline my wedding invitation so I can invite ketchup, relish, and most importantly, mustard, the Cleveland Guardians Hot Dog Racers?

Followed by Dylan an hour later.

How do I convince my fiancé to finally give up her life-ruining obsession with the Cleveland running hot dogs?

And can I tell you, Griffin, one of the things that strikes me right away that I love, that Dylan's like, those Cleveland running hot dogs.

And Christina's like, the Cleveland Guardian Racers.

They have names.

Ketchup, relish, and mustard.

First of all, I'm glad that you two are engaged to each other and this was not two completely separate.

That was my brother's legitimate concern.

I was like, we should calm them down together.

And Griffin was like, what if they're not the same couple?

And I was like, Griffin, if that happens, it will be the best podcast anybody's ever done.

Okay, Christina, can you give us some background for starters on

this fascination that you have with these hot dog races?

That's a pretty loaded question.

Just like these hot dogs, am I right?

So I don't know anything about them.

So you got to sell me a little bit.

Yeah, so they are the best part of the baseball game if you don't really care about sports that much.

Agree.

A big caveat.

Go on.

You know, if you don't care about anything else that happens, then you keep me from hearing about these hot dogs anymore, Travis.

I swan to John.

So, yeah, at like the sixth inning or whatever, they race.

Mustard's the best one.

They have a great social media presence, but that can't be true.

Because catch-up is always going to get.

I think it's a personal preference.

I don't think.

Because its name is fucking catch-up.

Yeah, we got that.

Yeah, it's good.

Mustard is the most athletic hot dog, and you can't change that, man.

That's objective.

So let's get the counterpoint on that.

Yeah, Dylan.

Dylan, what do you think of these hot dogs?

And how seriously have they do they run or is it like are they ambulatory they're ambulatory hot dogs they're not even just ambulatory they full-on like knock each other over they're rowdy oh that's why you don't want them at the wedding is because they might fight each other at the wedding they're built for speed and that's the drive dylan that's not real like in real life they all hang out i will agree with travis here that if the these three hot dog mascots come to your wedding they will probably be on good behavior no way absolutely not if they go they're going going with their social media directors going to be filming the whole thing.

They're going to be putting their hands in the chocolate fountains or whatever.

They're going to be turning the whole thing into a whole kerfuffle.

Christina, is that part of the reason you want them there?

It's to make a big, messy chocolate mess.

You think it's going to be messy?

I didn't want to advertise that part, but yeah, kind of.

Yeah, yeah.

You want some mischief.

I understand.

A lot of it feels like a moment where a couple's therapist will be like, so why do you think you need the hot dogs there?

do you need the hot dogs there christina because i got the sense that it was just you thought it would be fun and cool um i think i think i might need them

dylan can you tell me the conversation that led up to okay okay here's the deal if three people cancel

Yeah, when at that point, I will consent to inviting your hot dogs.

Is that where it should be?

Are they soft, maybe?

Yeah.

Where are we at?

And also, where do you place them on the dinner service?

Not at the same table.

No, never, yeah.

This is the other issue I have.

We're serving Italian sausage and peppers.

Okay.

So that's fucked up.

Very problematic.

You're worried about that moment where they push the plate back and they're like, the fuck.

I thank you.

I have some crackers in the car.

Christina.

I'll be fine.

Thanks.

All right, Christina, are you thinking that they would be more involved in the ceremony or the reception?

I mean, like, if one offered to officiate, I wouldn't say no to them.

Which mustard?

Yeah.

What if Relish was like I don't worry I got you Christina would you be like I'd maybe politely decline respectfully yeah are you worried about it being a real sausage party Travis I mean

we get invited to weddings quite a bit I will warn you though if we ever make good on one of those we are making that wedding about us

do you understand and I think these hot dogs are going to do precisely that you this is no longer your wedding you're a guest if one of those hot dogs doesn't object

that's what you want.

Can I just say, if I was at a wedding, and it's one of those where it's like, oh, this is a friend of a friend, I got brought, you know, as a guest, and in the middle of it, someone in a big hot dog mascot costume showed up and just yelled, I object.

I'd be like, fuck, this is the best thing that's ever happened in my whole life.

I have two children.

This is the most excited I've ever been.

Now, I will say, if you, there they are.

I got it now.

Oh, they're people.

Okay, so

hold on.

Is that ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise?

What's happening?

Is the middle one relish?

That's not relish.

I mean, it is hot dog relish.

Why are we yelling?

Because we're so excited about these beautiful costumes.

Listen, can we make...

I didn't realize they were people in costumes.

Okay, so that actually

makes a lot more sense.

No, wait, hold on.

Justin, speak on that.

What did you think?

I just didn't know.

I mean, I didn't.

I've never seen them before.

Okay, okay, but if they weren't people in costumes, then what did you think was going to show up to the wedding?

I thought they were like animated.

So you thought when Christina was saying, I want to invite them to the wedding?

Was it a Roger Rabbit kind of fucking?

Christina was saying, I want to get in touch with the animators of the three hot dogs to get them to make a sound.

In my life, I like them to do some cell overlays.

In my defense, I found a lot of the previous conversation confusing.

So, yeah, Governor I, yeah, there were some holes.

I was spotting the holes too, man.

Yeah, I saw the problems.

I think you could probably swing this.

It will be the only thing people talk about at your wedding which is maybe cool like maybe fun maybe what you want they're gonna make it more than anything else yeah you can worry about that if you can lock down these mascot characters don't feel like your vows have to be good or whatever

especially if you say if mustard wins the groom's side free hot dogs mustard the ketchup that's for the bride's side and then if relish wins this whole thing's off yeah

if relish wins, we all fucking walk, man.

It wasn't meant to be.

Uh, does that help?

Yeah, okay, thank you so much.

I feel like we didn't help Dylan,

though.

Sorry, Dylan.

He'll figure it out.

Hey, Dylan, Christina's right.

Yeah, hey, Dylan, if the hot dogs come to your wedding, you should consider yourself very lucky.

I think it's gonna be quite an event.

Yeah, thank you both so much.

Thank you.

Good luck with everything.

Let us know how it turns out.

I believe we have one more question.

Maybe.

Hello.

Yes.

Hi, come on.

Hi, how's it going?

Come on up.

Hi, I'm Niall.

Hey, Nihil.

Hi, Niall.

What's your question?

So, I spent five years in the Navy attached to a submarine crew, but because submarines are so weird culturally, no one really knows what to think when they hear that.

They think like the submarine that crunched up those rich guys or whatever.

Yeah,

Niall.

I don't think about that as a submarine.

When I picture a submarine, I don't think about it when I'm having a bad day.

So.

So.

Yeah, man.

What's the...

So, what's your question?

How can we help?

So when people ask questions,

a lot of the times they'll ask for stories, but there aren't really...

fun stories?

Fun submarine stories.

Yeah, it's a very bad place to be.

And I'll finish the question, please.

It's a very bad place to be, just in general.

It is purely voluntary.

If you, as a service member, decide you are done doing it, they just let you go.

They say

that it's not true, Niall, because if you're there in the submarine under the water and you say, I want out,

they don't let you go.

They don't have to take you home, right?

They don't turn around.

They do tell you, well, you're going to have to wait.

Hey, you, if that happens, blow the torpedo tube.

Hey, if that, Niall, if that happens, do you got to call a scuba?

Fuck you, everyone who didn't laugh.

That was the best joke I'm gonna tell tonight.

So, Niall, your question is, how do you talk more interesting about being on a submarine?

I'm gonna say, Niall, you could do a lot worse than that, factoing about it's one of the few jobs in the military you can quit.

And you just

go, I get it.

Yeah, and then you're like, but me, I kept doing it.

That's pretty good, Niall.

I can say it's not a bad starter.

Niall, what's the smell like?

Bad bed.

It smells like refrigerant, and when you come back at the end of a patrol, you smell like refrigerant.

For how long?

Two to three months.

Okay.

Do you think about what to do with your trash a lot?

Or do you burn it in the engine?

There's a whole

there's a whole system for canning it and

for canning the trash?

Yeah, Niall!

Nihil!

Do you see how the three of us are on the edge of of our fucking sky?

Nihil, you've been hiding your light under a bushel.

You're now the number one person I want to encounter at a party.

I will talk to you for three hours.

Yes, guarantee.

Seems boring to you because you did it every day.

Right.

Right?

You were in a tube in the ocean for a long time.

I want to know everything.

How many krakens did you?

You know how

when you leave the service, they give you a hat with whatever the most interesting thing you did on it is and then for the old men to wear at the store for you to tell them thank you for your service in this.

You should see if they'll give you to you early.

Like, go ahead and give me your hat so you could be like, submarine guy.

And you'll be like, yeah, tell me more.

I would love to hear more about that.

Yeah, yeah.

I smell like a refrigerator because I'm an American hero and you should be embarrassed for asking.

I could have quit, but I didn't.

Ask me more.

I've been underwater for the last five years.

What did I miss?

That's pretty good.

Hey, Niall, Niall, that's what you should do.

Don't tell them about your thing.

Just ask a bunch of questions about what's been happening up here.

Yeah.

Wait, you guys weren't allowed to see anyone else too for a long time?

That's wild.

So it's a Barbie movie, but people were into it?

That's crazy.

That's weird, dude.

Wait, Oppenheimer and Barbie at the same time?

Fuck, man.

What immediate experience.

Niall, does that help, my friend?

Yes, thank you.

Yes, thank you, Niall.

You should feel very proud.

Thank you.

Hey, y'all, Columbus, this has been so much fun.

Thank you so much for having us to your beautiful city.

Thank you so much.

Yes, we truly do love it here.

We have a lot of fond memories here in Columbus.

And thank you to this beautiful venue for having us.

It fucking rules.

It's been a temple live.

Thank you so much.

It's been wonderful to just wander around backstage.

I very rudely asked, as we were looking for a room to do a little bit of prep in, I was like, oh,

is this room going to be creepy?

And a staff member backstage heard me and said, oh, I'll show you the creepy room.

And then, not a joke, I just sort of walked into a room with the two of you and was like, we're good, and shut the door because I was genuinely kind of scared.

What the heck?

I missed out on seeing the creepy room?

Yeah.

Well, we'll see it afterwards.

We don't need that energy.

Also, my son was asking about this building, and I said, Yeah, it used to be a Masonic temple.

And he said, This is your Sonic Temple?

Our kids are funnier than we will ever be.

Really good Masonic.

God damn.

We're not going to top that.

We want to say thank you to Maddie Vion, who did our

beautiful, beautiful poster.

We signed some of them.

You can get them out in the lobby.

I believe, do we have the challenge coin here in Columbia?

Yes, we do.

And it's being, all proceeds are being donated to the Mid Ohio Food Collective for the Pulse Aborn Memorial Cam Food Drive.

For the old heads who prefer a 20 tummy drive.

Tummy, no.

It's summoned, and that's why we didn't do it.

Thank you to Montane for the use of our theme song, My Life is Better With You.

Montane has a new album out this week that you should absolutely go and check out.

We're very, very glad that we are able to use one of Montane's songs.

We should also mention, we're going to be at Origins Game Fair this weekend.

If you weren't already planning to come see us, come see us there.

Also, we're going to be back here tomorrow night doing Adventure Zone versus Midsummer.

It's going to be an absolutely wild time.

Make sure you come back for that.

Thank you to Rachel and Paul and Amanda and our dad, Clint McRoy, everybody.

And Sawbones.

And Sawbones for opening up everyone.

Everyone who made this show possible.

I have one fear I would like to read that was submitted by our friends in the audience.

And this is the fear that they intend to be faster than this very special year.

This year, I will be be faster than the fear of my pet bird flying into an actively flushing toilet and getting swept out to sea.

When it's Chester McElroy, I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy.

My brother, my brother, make this your dad square on the lips.

It's better with you.

My life,

oh.

It's better, better, it's better with you.

Cause it's true,

it's better, it's better with you.

My life,

it's better with you.

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