MBMBaM 763: The Revenge Pope

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

What's up, you cool baby?

It's the start

of something beautiful.

A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship.

I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach.

My life,

it feels love.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

My life, oh,

it's better, it's better with you.

This is true.

It's better with two.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me, an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

What's up, Trav Nation?

It's me, your middlest brother, Travis, Vroom Vroom, McElroy.

And it's me, your sweet baby brother,

30 under 30 media luminary, Griffin, Built for Tough McElroy.

Another tough week for the 30 under 30 crowd, by the way.

I don't know how close you guys keep tabs on this, but every once in a while, a think piece does get written about how many, dang many of us went to jail for fraud and other bad stuff.

And it's like, yeah, man.

I mean, I barely squeaked on there.

I don't like, I know I say it a lot, but I don't really own that.

You know what I mean?

Do you feel bad, Griffin, that you haven't committed fraud or ended up in jail yet?

Like, that's like maybe you haven't squandered your potential enough?

I cannot stress to you enough, Travis, how disruptive to my whole life jail would be well that's why they're called disruptors griffin

well they should be called disrupted if they are yeah being the ones imprisoned um but no i don't regret that i don't want to do that stuff i live in fear of the fact that i i don't want to accidentally do fraud i thought you were just going to stop at the end of i live in fear sure sure sure yeah yeah you're afraid you might accidentally commit fraud I'm afraid I might accidentally commit fraud because I don't know what it is.

It's basically you say you're going to do something and then you don't do it.

Have you ever done that?

I mean, all the time.

Oh,

all the time.

Well, Griffin, I'm wearing a wire.

This has all been.

I'm part of the 40 over 40 that are sent to collect the 30 under 30 and bring them in.

It's kind of like that old like witch's libel and which is slander thing.

Yeah.

It's a conversation I've had so many times that I start to wonder, like, am I publicly lying about people too much?

Yeah.

Is that too much a fixture of my life that I'm having to figure out?

I have to remember all the time

which crime is which.

Is it too late to add that into our intro to like add it?

And like, if any of this sounds like libel, it's slander.

It's worse.

It's slander.

And I think that's the good one.

This is one of those things that I definitely, definitely learned in my journalism ethics classes.

And now I just think I remember, but I bet you if I did even a cursory Google search, I would realize I don't know.

I don't remember any of the botany class I took in college, but yours seems more important to your everyday life

than mine is.

Yeah.

Okay.

I mean, let's keep each other, let's mirror each other because we have so few other support systems in our lives.

And I'll let you guys know if it seems like you're starting to do fraud.

And you guys should check me too.

Yeah, cool, man.

Because I know it would be disruptive to your life, Brigham, but in many ways, it would also be disruptive to my life if you went to prison because I don't think they let you podcast from there.

It would wreck our whole shit, man.

Yeah.

And God, I hope this clip isn't like, I have no intention of committing any kind of major crimes.

And I'm saying that the more you say it, though.

No, I know it sounds suspicious the more I kind of emphasize it, but this clip is going to be uncomfortable.

Are you on a similar haircut schedule, guys?

I'm looking forward to that.

I think we have synced up, yeah.

I think we've synced up, guys.

Well, it's that time of the year when a young man's fancy chance to haircuts.

you know i think it's about a week or two before we go to do live shows is about

we should probably go get a haircut hey guys is this anything american pontiff stay away from jd

is that anything stay away from jd yeah jd vance he kills popes oh american pontiffs stay away from jd it's something

It is something.

Because the other one was, he is an American pope.

No, no, no, no, no.

The Lenny Kravitz, keep the stay on Kravitz.

Always bet on Kravitz.

American pontiff.

How bad do you guys wish that Protestants also had like a king?

How dope would that be?

Like, I'm so jealous of my Catholic

friends.

I have so many Catholic friends, you guys.

All right, we get it.

Because they have like the one guy who's like, it's cool.

But on Protestants, it's like, we've got like 80 different people.

It must be nice to have a religious king that you can one point to to justify things but also to blame things on right is just

anytime we talk about the pope for like it kind of seems like you were afraid there would be a Sinead O'Connor sort of situation Is it is it real?

Are you that uncomfortable with it?

Or what do you think is going to happen?

Okay, it's an audio podcast.

They're doing a handful.

It's an audio podcast.

No one can see you're making anything.

No, the truth of the matter is, gentlemen.

Yeah.

I did something to my chair this morning.

I pulled a lever.

I thought for sure you were hiding from the bit.

No, I did something to my chair this morning during besties this morning, and I podcast so

consecutively

that I don't have the time to get in here and really figure out.

So the problem is, if you review the video footage that has been taken of me today, there are at least four of me leaning back a little bit and then absolutely.

And then there's a couple minutes of me fiddling with the chair and saying what fucking lever did I pull that made it so I can't lean back without falling anymore and guys That's the truth of the matter.

That's that's where I'm at It's not that you're uncomfortable discussing the pope No, I love discussing the pope.

I love discussing the pope Sydney's actually a little disappointed that I don't I'm not following.

I wasn't following it more closely.

She texted me like white smoke.

I'm like, awesome.

Seems like they cracked it.

I don't know a ton about the process.

Yeah.

But it seems like they cracked this one pretty fast, huh?

I think that all the popes looked at America and thought they have been cushing it.

Yeah.

That is,

we have got to get American leaders are doing it right.

We got to get on board the hype train.

America fever, which is what they should call COVID.

America fever is just

sweeping the globe and we got to get.

America, you've earned it, says God.

You've heard of

the British invasion.

Now it's time for American fever.

Here's what I think happened.

JD killed the old Pope, right?

Yeah.

J.D.

Vance.

Well, I'm not saying he directly did it, but I'm saying he was there.

And then three days later, Pope was dead.

That's all I'm saying.

He may have killed the Pope in the sense that like a spoonful of sugar could cure your hiccups if you happened to the hiccups leave you after you eat some shit.

I'm just saying that in some way, J.D.

Vance is attached, rather, either causally or historically to the Pope's death.

Right.

And then they looked through American Pope's tweets and saw him badmouthing JD Vance at some point.

Yeah.

And then they were like, oh, cool.

We're going to put him in.

Take that Pope Killer Vance.

Yeah.

And now

he's there for payback.

This is a revenge Pope.

Oh, cool.

I, guys,

here's my most embarrassing thing that I will say when the new Pope got out to do his address, I

had a moment where I thought, oh, man, he knows Italian.

That is so cool.

I thought he was about to bust out like a fully American.

Exactly.

Hey, dudes, thanks a ton.

I fuck ass.

When I heard American Pope, I think in my head, I was picturing John Goodman.

Yeah, that this was a like we look through the Pope family tree and it seems the last living pope is John Goodman.

Everyone

everyone cares so much about the nationality of the pope.

I want to talk about pope size.

Give us a huge pope.

Give us a John Goodman size pope.

A big burly.

Just a wall of pope.

A huge mound of pope.

Big old wall of pope.

Big old wad.

Give me that.

But I'm proud that he did.

What do you do?

What do you do?

You think he learned Italian after becoming poop?

No, I think that he learned Italian way before that.

I'm just embarrassed to think that it, like, I was really impressed by how good his Italian was.

And then I thought, you probably don't get to that level unless you've gotten pretty good at Italian.

He would probably have a hard time getting around in Vatican City instead of asking for directions, trying to find where the bathroom is, ordering food if he didn't speak Italian.

Yeah, that's true.

That's probably that's

I actually heard guys the night before they sent that smoke up to say it's Leo Bitch.

Uh, they

it spelled that out when it went up, it spells it out like a skywriting thing.

He didn't know any Italian, but then they were like, Hey, we're gonna pick you tomorrow, but first you got to cram for this big Italian test.

He learned it all in one night.

Morpheus showed up.

Put the chip in his brain.

Put the chip in his brain, and he took that test the next morning.

And the principal of the Vatican came up and said, You did it.

You did it, son.

And then he became the pope.

The whole thing's just so neat.

I I just wish we had some stuff.

Anything, any kind of neat stuff.

I've gone to Catholic Mass with Teresa a couple of times, you know, when I was still trying to impress her parents before they found out what I did for a living.

And

I love all the showmanship,

patchantry,

all the dogma stuff I'm not wild about, but I like the incense and stuff.

When you roll up to the Mass, you should be given a little like punch card and you tell them like which parts of it you want to like that yeah yeah yeah because like all the stuff about like the chanting and then you pass a cup around or whatever it's like whoa

this is this is like arcane magic but then when you talk a long time about yeah i'm not wild about that part if i could leave before that part starts the censures the braziers yeah dude here for it dark souls man i'm here for it hell yeah dude yeah when you can trade in all the souls you've collected for upgrades i love that part and you can always tell too the transitions need a little bit of work because it'll be like, oh, miss diamond floorboard.

And they have like the censures throwing smoke around.

They're like, this weekend, I went to Denny's with my kids.

Like, oh, man, can we not take a smoother step from ritual into

figuring if the priest starts talking about hanging out with his kids?

There's a lot of question marks happening in the room at that point.

Yeah, I guess they're not really supposed to have those darn things.

They could have a couple kids, but if they get like a lot of kids, it starts to get like a thing that kids have to happen before the priesthood part.

You can have kids grandfathered in, I think.

Well, where are we getting new priests, guys?

This doesn't make any fucking sense.

They just keep finding them.

My papa was a priest.

Hold on, wait.

Wait, hold on, hold on.

That should have ended his line.

This summer, I'm going to meet Walton Goggins at a convention.

I'm absolutely petrified.

I'm going to shit the bed.

The last convention I went to in 2023, I waited in the autograph line for hours to meet an actor I really admire.

As soon as I got up to the table, I completely froze.

I barely remember the conversation.

We share a name.

He asked how I was finding it.

And all I remember saying was, it's misspelled a lot, actually.

And he was kind enough to laugh.

My question is this.

How do I face down Walton Goggins and not completely black out like last time?

Or maybe even make a good impression?

Who's that from?

That's from Innet.

Well, it's In a Total Tizzy in Texas.

But I assume it's from a Travis.

They talked about having the same name as an actor they admire.

Must be me, right?

Yeah, imagine.

They've seen my work in Ciso's My Brother, My Brother, and me.

Yeah, Tex Arcana Waltz.

Tex Arcana Waltz in college.

Yeah.

In college.

They definitely put me on the stage there.

I feel,

I think it's because of the accent.

Walton Goggins is like one of the very, very few celebrities that I feel like I would say hey to.

Like I feel like I would, just from the, just from the accent, I feel like it would be a rare enough

thing for him to encounter.

Somebody from, from, from, you know, has a little bit of a

twang, if you will.

Right.

And I feel like it would really put him at ease, and I think we'd connect.

Yeah.

I will say it's hard for me to separate having first become aware of him through Justified, as I believe a lot of people did.

Sure.

That I think of him as kind of a hometown hero-esque thing.

And then I have to remind myself he's a very famous, successful actor, and he doesn't like live in Ashland.

He's not from Naha.

Yeah, Travis.

Okay, yeah.

You're hitting on it, Travis.

Yeah, I just.

You just said so confidently that Walton Goggins has like maybe a bit of an Appalachian twang, but then I saw you second guess, like, does he actually have that?

Or am I thinking of his character in Justified?

He's from Atlanta, Georgia, I believe.

Okay.

Yeah, but like, I'm saying,

yes, okay, that's fair.

I am projecting a little bit.

I think that that is accurate, but

it does seem pretty relaxed.

Do you think if you rolled up wearing a pair of Walton Goggins goggles that

Walton Goggins goggle glasses.

Put some respect on the name, please.

Please.

If you roll up wearing Walton Goggins goggle glasses.

Is that a point in your favor?

Or

I'm going to grab mine real quick.

Yeah, get it for the clip because I would love.

I've been trying so hard to get the brand going.

I feel like it's a brand deal that's just waiting to happen.

It's not ready.

I would love to have Walton on the clubhouse to pitch the Walton Goggins goggle glasses.

It's another free ad for Walton Goggins goggle glasses here on my brother, my brother.

I don't know if they're used to

a jumbo size for gentlemen of perhaps a

larger head carriage uh you look great but i love the way i look

i don't yeah but can i swim with them like if i showed up to the to the meet and greet with walton goggins and was like love them but can i swim in them

can i weld in them can i weld in them do you call them goggle glasses you need to be very clear about what these things can do I mean, they are a little pricey for Walton Goggins goggle glasses, but if you did go to the meet and greet wearing them,

you're right That that would, I mean, that gets you through the interaction.

That gets you through the interaction.

That's enough for nothing else.

You need nothing else.

Hey, I see your glasses.

Point.

Hey, I have the glasses.

The connection's been made.

I tell you,

when I've done meet and greets with folks before, I tell you the only problem that I ever have is the hearing.

If the story, if the thing that they're trying to communicate is too complex,

my brain is not in a place where a lot of glassy stuff going on.

Yeah.

There's a lot.

So keeping it tight.

I love love you acting.

Fantastic.

I love you acting.

Fantastic acting.

Keep it up.

I saw Walton Goggins recently say that the secret to acting is you read it 250 times and then you give yourself over to imaginary circumstances.

Damn, that's good.

That's pretty good.

Hey, can you see everything I'm doing on my computer while I'm wearing these?

Because now I'm realizing that from an OPSEC perspective,

the Walton Goggins goggle glasses may not be very good for this type of telecommuting.

I can tell exactly how disengaged you are for the conversation by the flicker of your monitor tabs.

You could also find like the most obscure project that Walton Goggins has ever participated in and then specifically complement that that has worked for you.

Walton Goggins goggle glasses traps.

I know that it's much more obscure than that.

Hey, when I wear them up on my head like this, do I look like a cool Final Fantasy character?

Like a

pool interest.

Yeah.

You look like Egon 2.

Like, if they did a new Egon in a new Ghostbusters, he would look like that.

Was he a sort of conventionally agreed-upon attractive character?

Yeah.

Lots of glasses.

Like, he found new places, glasses everywhere on Harold Ramis.

I would argue, Griffin, that Harold Ramis as the Egon Spangler did it for a lot of people.

That was the...

Who's the hottest Ghostbuster?

Vinkman.

No.

I think it's Egon.

I'm sorry I asked this question.

I don't want to know the answer to it.

Okay.

Hey, listen.

If you're talking about personality-wise, yeah, Vinkman.

But if we're just talking about looks.

Body.

Ernie.

Ernie Hudson.

Ernie Hudson is

sexy.

That's a good point.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Ernie Hudson is the sex.

Like,

okay,

okay.

Physical body.

Why did I fucking

has it, right?

Yeah.

Now, Vinkman.

Good time, not a long time.

You know what I mean?

We're having fun with Vinkman.

If you want to marry someone you marry ray there's got to be but i'm saying egon i can fix him you know what i mean he's a little dude you're gonna try to fix egon and then he's gonna ghost you and i'm just saying that profile though like he he's cutting a look so hard like his face face card hundo right okay

there's four of them so let's do we'll do fuck fuck merry kill no

get a bonus i i hate that game that's a shame because you're playing it you are playing it right now because i don't want to do that.

I kill Ray.

It's like Brock Toon, right?

We can find people sexy and want to marry them and not include killing.

That's the...

We don't need to kill any Ghostbusters.

I kill Ray.

That's got to be tough, huh?

Conflict of interest at that point.

How do you do?

Hey, Trav, how do you kill Ray?

Trav, describe me in detail how you kill Ray Stance.

Slowly.

And describe it, and then with every other sentence, just tell me how you want to fuck Slimer or whatever.

No, Slimer wasn't.

I didn't know that was available.

I would kill Slimer.

Juice, you got to get that chair fixed, man.

I know, Griffin.

I know, but when I try to fix it, my brothers think I'm ducking Pope jokes.

I'm marrying Ernie Hudson.

I'm fucking Vinkman.

Yeah.

I'm fucking Vinkman.

I'm fucking Egon.

I'm killing Wright.

This version of the game is a lot easier.

You still have to kill someone.

Why can't we fuck three Ghostbusters, kill nud, and marry one of them for life?

And

I'm taking Janine on a date, a lovely date, where I'm being very respectful.

And we're going to have a great game.

And Slymer on a pizza, not date, but hang.

Yeah.

I'd watch the game with Slymer.

I think that that would be fun as hell.

I'd smoke up with Slymer and watch the game.

Yeah, I'd smoke up with Slymer.

Are you kidding me?

Because then you could just like get it from him.

Like he puffs it in and then it just leaves his body.

Oh, imagine putting your head inside Slimer.

Like Slymer encases your head while he takes that huge rib.

You would suffocate and die in the worst imaginable.

That's how I'd kill Ray.

Put Slimer on his head?

I'd put Slimer on his head.

You'd make Slimer complicit in the middle of it.

I'd love it.

Are you kidding me?

That nasty dog?

And that's how I killed Ray.

Oh, Slimer.

I have an indoor slash outdoor cat.

One day when I was following him around outside, he went down the outdoor stairs of my multi-complex home and to my alarm, headed inside the open and screenless window of my downstairs neighbor.

I went to grab him saying, no, don't go into someone else's house in a very high-pitched voice.

And to my extreme alarm, neighbor, who I hadn't noticed, said, no, it's okay.

He's done this before.

Brothers, is there a social code for my cat occasionally visits your home?

I was so freaked out that I fear I may have flunked it.

I said, well, as long as you don't feed him, and stood by anxiously watching my cat, unsure of what to do with myself.

That's from Anxious Cat Mom in Michigan.

Your cat

wants an open relationship, but can't communicate that to you because it's a cat.

This isn't a matter of pride.

The cat's got to get what the cat is going to get.

And sometimes that means...

fresh tinned sardines from your cool downstairs neighbor.

That's interesting.

I didn't take take it as pride.

What do you mean?

I would take the anxiety of like, I hope they behave themselves.

What if the cat does like the cat makes a mess or like messes something up and that reflects poorly on me?

Because that's not, but then he's not going to do it in my house.

Like sorry the cat, sorry the cat shitted in your house that I didn't know he was going to, but that's one shit that's not going to be in my house.

So thank you so much.

Habitual creatures, though, aren't they?

What if they get so used to pissing at the neighbor's house that they can't go anywhere else?

And you have to go downstairs and knock on the door.

Like, hey, listen, listen, Mr.

Mittens has got a full turkey fold ladder.

Yeah, you gotta come in.

Lay out the jacket.

Lay out your favorite jacket like he likes it, please.

Thank you.

This seems like a meet cute from a movie.

I'm not saying that's what's happening here, but it seems like something from a movie where it's like, oh, my cow went in your window.

And it's like, that's your cat?

I've been calling it my cat.

Right?

Yeah.

In one shard of the multiverse, I think it's a meet meet-cute.

I think in every other shard, it's just sort of an uncomfortable social situation.

I don't want them thinking it's a meet-cute because no, I'm not saying this is a meet-cute.

I'm saying that this is movie-level wild to me.

Like,

you don't have this problem with a dog, right?

My dogs, if I found out my dogs are in someone's home, they've been dog mapped.

Or they're loose.

For a cat, it's too powerful, I think, to give them the ability to go to someone else's house that isn't your house.

That's the great injustice of a cat's life is that when it finds you distasteful, it cannot abandon you and go somewhere else to teach you a lesson.

Now that it has had a taste of that, I don't think you're going to get them off of it.

I think that they're hooked.

And this step owner now has no responsibility, right?

They can give this cat ice cream, let him stay up late to watch the movies.

Do the fun stuff.

Yeah, like get them a new bike or whatever.

And then when the cat is having homework trouble or like fighting with a friend at school or whatever, it's gonna come back to you and you gotta deal with it you gotta you gotta you gotta steal that neighbor's window yep they're not nailing shut

would have

would have enjoyed any kind of information on the neighbor before the three of us dove into this one because that could be a real minefield they don't have any

what they said they don't know them

Right, but they probably got to know a little bit of the, like, you can clock a vibe pretty quick and they've encountered each other.

Give us anything anything about the vibe like anything to work with um

because what if they're a creep i don't know or a giant like a coyote or something it could be a big coyote i keep imagining them standing there talking to the neighbor and trying to decide if they should leave or stay and man it's just giving me palpitations yeah

because you think once the neighbor's like it's okay he's done this before there's part of you that's like well I'm gonna go.

I get, yeah.

I mean, so you please enjoy my my cat.

I mean, like, or if you, I guess you stay and then they're like, well, I told you it's fine.

But it's not a play date.

You don't have to say that.

It's not a play date, right?

I'm not, I'm not going to get to know you.

Yeah.

No, I mean, that is why they wrote into this advice podcast.

I know, but I don't think it's doing us a lot of favors to have our shit so completely fall apart at the premise of one of the questions.

We have to keep using the money.

No, I know, but it's trying to be, I'm trying to be honest, Griffin.

I think that like empathy is maybe the first step in trying to say this isn't hard and maybe that's and griffin maybe in 2025 we need to be comfortable with like sometimes that's all be

maybe people don't need answers they need just to have their feelings affirmed they asked yeah did you do anything wrong no that's exactly what we would have done felt weird that was very hard But it's an advice podcast, not an affirmation podcast.

Yes, but I'm trying to be able to fix our problems.

I'm trying to make space for the fact that movies and TV have taught us that social interaction should be smooth and effortless.

Yeah.

What I'm saying is, it almost never is.

You know,

a meat ugly, if you will.

Yeah,

most meats are ugly.

And that doesn't mean you should have to feel be good at it, but it does mean that maybe you can't be good at it.

You know what I mean?

Maybe you can't.

Maybe you can't.

Maybe most things you just can't fix.

And you just got to say, huh, that was the pits.

Yeah.

Absolutely the worst.

I'm glad that was finite.

I only hope it was as bad for them as it was for me.

No,

100% of the time, they never thought about it ever again.

No, it's fully, fully imagined in your own

percentage.

Wonder Emporium up there.

I thought we were going to get past all this stuff once everyone had email addresses because then you could just be like, oh, cats in your house, this is a weird situation.

What's your email?

I will hit you up digitally.

I think the reason that didn't happen is because of the at and then the URL.

Because people don't know.

It's too long.

It's too long and you don't know when it's over.

Like, it's feeling pretty good when you're giving someone your email address, it's feeling pretty good, and then you say the at, and then you think, man, I hope they don't judge whatever I say next.

Yeah, because whatever I say next, they're going to have a feeling about, you know, and there's so many terms that we could use had they not been already sort of co-opted where you just be like in an uncomfortable situation and say, like, let's, this is uncomfortable.

Let's just cyber.

And that means like we're going to communicate cyber in cyberspace

with typing and stuff instead of having to talk about it right now.

Yeah.

What's your pulse ID?

By the way, pulse is just the name I came up with for the software.

It's cool, but it would be like

subdermal cuff, right?

Right.

The pulse ID is a subdermal cuff.

And as your pulse races, because you're in an anxious situation, it just automatically pings the person to say, they're going to leave now.

Yeah, yeah.

And you're allowed to just turn mid-sentence and bounce.

And is there a version of the show Black Mirror, but where everything works out good and cool?

White Mirror.

That's what it says.

White Lotus.

The opposite of Black Mirror as well.

I love that.

Hey, everybody.

It's me, Travis McCoy, and I'm taking my brothers to the money zone.

Wow!

It's better!

It's better, Louis!

Dang it, Travis.

When we went to the money zone, I broke my ass.

Oh.

What?

When we fell into the money zone, I broke my ass.

This is great.

I don't have the ad copy ups, but my mind is racing trying to figure out what it is.

There's no doctors here in the money zone that I know of.

I've never had to find a doctor in the money zone, but I do have a broken ass.

The infrastructure is not there in the money zone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mostly in order to help me navigate.

We don't have

a lot of electricity.

What?

Is it Zock Doc?

Yeah, Griffiths.

Zock Doc.

Yeah, obviously.

It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors.

You choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment.

Okay, I'm going to go to Zock Doc real quick and type in broken ass.

Yep.

Stuck in Money Zone.

Not mine, brothers.

Oh, yeah.

It came up with like four of them.

I'm talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health.

eye care to skin care and much more.

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And Justin, I don't care.

It'll take too long, Travis.

It'll take too long.

You need the food now?

No.

Yeah, it'll take to make a nutritious, delicious meal takes hours and hours.

No, Justin.

I'll be dead by then.

Justin, you dumb stupid idiot with your broken ass that you deserve now because you're so stupid.

It won't take that long.

Ah, you re-broke my ass.

Yeah, I

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And now he's the Pope.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's Learn Everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper.

And on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Recently at my local mall, a VR game was opened up that takes you on a virtual roller coaster ride.

Since it's opening, I've really wanted to try it, but I can't convince anyone, including my eight-year-old little sister, to do the ride with me.

As an adult, there is no way I can do the ride by myself.

So, how do I get in on this VR game while retaining my dignity?

Note, I have never actually seen anyone using the VR machine, and it sits in the middle of the main strip of the mall.

So, if I were to go ride it, I would basically be on display for any and all passers-by.

That's from Vexed by VR West Virginia.

Well, vexed by VR West Virginia.

Now,

unless there's a rule that says no adults without children, you can't.

When you say there's no way, you could ride that.

You can go in a arcades are actually all right.

Like, you can go in an arcade.

You're, you're totally fine.

I would argue, in fact, that by doing that, you've made, you've given someone else permission.

Try

for a life.

You know?

As long as before you get on the roller coaster machine, you do have to sit at the Willy Wonka coin drop machine and spend about three hours dropping quarters in there.

And then people will be like, that's a fucking grown-ass person.

Then you can go on the roller coaster.

I think

where where I would actually start to second guess myself a lot is not the writing it, but the extent to which I should really lean into the experience.

Because I think that virtual reality is best when you are bringing your whole self to the illusion.

When you're saying, I am immersed in this, this is me, this is my reality.

Me and the rabids are running through Santa's workshop hurling snowballs at each other.

I'm part of this.

Just like Walton Goggin says, you know?

Yeah.

He says,

just like Walton goggins says you put the goggles on and you immerse yourself in a magic you chase a baby grew through santa's workshop yeah i'm walton goggins and that's the plot of the rabids roller coaster ride at arcades and these are the apple vision walton goggins goggle vision goggle glasses they're six thousand dollars amazing worth every penny worth every penny yeah i mean i i would i would should you keep a straight face i mean that looks worse well don't we yeah don't yell well now hold on.

I say, you don't cry and don't yell, but you don't give a straight face.

What do you want from me?

Demonstrate.

Proper.

Yeah.

Oh, my.

Oh, a hill.

Ooh, titillator.

It's putting the wattling's goggling glasses back on.

Okay, Griffin.

I'm thinking you hit him with like a wow, whoa.

No way, wow.

A lot of sort of like whispering under your breath.

Maybe you reach out and try to touch something.

Oh, people love that when it's like, hey, try out the fucking virtual cyber world.

It's so, so cool.

There's like five Hatsune Mikus and a little SpongeBob SquarePants.

You're going to love this shit.

And then you see them reach and try and like sit down on the chair and they fall down.

That shit's so funny, dude.

You could be that for someone.

Open it up.

I also, I'm worried because when I picture, here's a VR machine in the middle of a mall.

No one's using it.

And maybe I just watched too much.

Are you afraid of the dark as a kid?

But you're going to get sucked into that thing.

Why is no one else using it?

What do they know that you don't?

It's cursed.

You're going to get pulled into a virtual world and have to fight your way out against maybe Bobcat Colthwaite.

I'm guessing.

I think you're right.

Yeah.

Something like that.

You're going to be trapped in there, maybe forever.

You're going to leave there.

You're not going to be sure if you're really out or not.

That's the fucked up part.

You can never really tell when you took the headset off.

So realistic.

It's going to be a whole thing, man.

Yeah.

Sardo is going to show up.

There's a bit in the the rabbits roller coaster ride where grew takes the headset off but it's still like a cutscene in the game and like how many layers deep do they have these guys going i'm gonna give you one chance and it's gonna have to be elegant and tasteful for you to excise yourself from it with grace okay but you're gonna need to explain to me why you keep mentioning grew in the context of the rabids

This is the second, maybe third.

I need you to explain to me what happened, where we went wrong.

This is, we're, we're opening this up.

This is a safety zone here.

It doesn't fit, can I say, it feels extremely not safe, this zone.

It feels extra safe.

I feel like I'm a narrow sliver.

It's a narrow sliver of grace.

It's an infinite.

It's deep.

I would need you to stand up from your computers and walk away 25 feet before I would feel like this is a safe space.

The rabbits are minions with long ears.

Hello.

If you need me to tell you that,

you're not keeping your fucking eyes open and keeping a look at these corporations.

I'm pretty sure it's the same one that does both these guys.

It's definitely illumination, but minions are rabids without the ears and bunny-like sort of characteristics.

They are little horrible Tic-Tac men, and that's basically also what a rabbid is.

So that's why I kept talking about Grew, who is like the minion's dad.

Okay.

Do you think that minions are smurfs without souls?

No.

Different looking shape completely.

But really, the whole only thing with the rabbits is the ears.

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, let's go to the wizard.

He's got something for us here.

This one was sent in by Christian.

Thanks, Christian.

And it is

200 plus motorcyclist names to help you stand out on the road.

Oh.

As a motorcyclist, right?

Not like I'm standing on the road yelling at them as they go by.

Hey, jerk.

Hey, jerk.

Yeah, they have 200 mean names to yell at passing motorcycles.

Okay, that would make you stand out.

Yeah, for sure.

I bet they wouldn't like it, though.

They can get off those bikes so dang quick, it is not a great idea to yell at them.

Some of them don't even need to stop the bike.

They can just jump up, bike keeps going, they land.

They land.

They deploy the parachute.

Do you need to find the perfect biker names for your Tough as Niels motorcycle persona?

Am I supposed to have one of those well not without the name that's a good point we'll start there don't choose your biker moniker randomly check out our list of over 200 biker names from the uncommon to ones that are ideal for instagram what

no idea

yeah uh you'll also i'm not saying bikers can't be on instagram but i didn't know that that was like a major thought

when going into that lifestyle is will this look good on instagram no um well i think that they're thinking about like can you get the handle right oh yeah yeah you don't want to be like

our arkansas spike yeah and there's already a bunch of arkansa arkansas spikes yeah yeah take up the handles on potato dog but then you go and potato dog is definitely well then you should be the real potato dog uh potato dog real potato dog real 69420.

You'll also find help for creating a name for your motorcycle club and get answers to questions about biker names.

Do you guys feel like you know enough about bike culture that that you could comfortably pick a biker name right now and like really own it, get it stenciled on your hog or whatever?

Griffin, I had to pick one with no prep and came up with Arkansas Spike, I think.

So no, potato dog.

Like we

have very little fat, neither one of those was

wizard of bikes.

Wizard of bikes is actually kick-ass the best of the three traps.

I do think that you should have to get the moniker from the biker gang because I think that if you roll up to a new gang that you're not in and you're like, hey,

I'm the Texas Torch.

They're like, I'm not sure that that's right.

We already got two of those, man.

Yeah.

You can't.

Let's take it on Instagram.

At what level of organization are you expected to have a motorcycle persona with

an original name?

Because if it's like a Facebook group meetup bike event, I don't think you get a biker name for that.

There has to be a certain amount of membership involved when and when do you cross that threshold i love i love the idea of a delay and can i tell you why because i feel like it is a biker solve to one of the biggest problems in life is when you wait too long to find out someone's name yeah you don't realize they're going to be important in your life yeah until a few too long bikers have a kick-ass one where they're like meh I'll catch them next time.

I'll learn it next time.

Yeah, for sure.

And I'll learn it on, yeah, next go around.

I'll learn the new one.

But what Griffin is saying, if I may, and I kind of love this, and we could all adopt this in everyday society, is that you will earn a name from the group when they have decided that you are important enough to them that they need to remember your name.

So much so, they are now giving you a new one.

Yeah.

And then if you ever forget that name, it's fucking stenciled on the front of their vest or whatever.

Exactly.

And you can be like, oh, shit, it's been a minute.

Buzzard?

Buzzard?

Force is a bad thing.

It's Buzzard.

Damn.

I'm cheating because that's one of the first names in hardcore biker names.

Use names that show you're tough.

Biker names that are considered badass or hardcore are often just one-word names that describe something strong or sound rugged.

Let's just go through these warrior cat style.

Armor, axle, barbarian, blaze, boulder, brick, buzzard, claw, conqueror,

dynamite's cool.

Dynamite could be like a tough name, but it can also be like, I'm about to dazzle you with incredible bike skills.

You could probably just go through a list of like the top 200 X-Men name and come up with like the same kind of list.

I keep coming up, like my brain gave me Dynamite and like a pun.

And then I was like, and then I had to remind myself, like, brain, I'm not sure bikers would like puns.

I don't think it's a good idea.

I don't think you could call yourself Dynamite if your first name was John.

One of the names on here is Rabid, spelled like if a dog goes foamy or whatever.

But you could throw an extra B in there and be like a real, like a rabid fan on the motorcycle.

And you got two lost in the sauce on the ride at the mall.

And now you have to live that life for real.

Stone Cold is one.

That's two words, but that's fine.

Cool.

I don't think you can do that.

That one famously belongs to Mr.

Austin.

Can you fucking believe if someone rolled up to your new awesome biker club and was like, yeah, I decided to go with Stone Cold.

Here's my vest and everything.

The amount of work they would have to put in for me to consider them when I think of the word Stone Cold and not the other guy would have to be, I don't know, you could do it in one lifetime.

Unless you are like Stone Cold Steve Austin, like I was just thinking if it's a non-shoe.

But if the Undertaker rolled up to your biker gang and said, I'm the Undertaker, you wouldn't be like, well, you have to earn that.

You'd be like, yeah, man, you absolutely are.

I can't see any scenario in my future, Travis, where I would invite the Undertaker to my biker club.

I simply do not think the man qualifies for an invite.

How about some coolness?

Stone Cold Steve also would get mad if he joined the club and they're like, we're going to call you danger.

Well, America actually got a pretty good, like,

I'm going to just go with the Stone Cold thing because it's like, sorry, pretty scary and everything.

Here comes shotgun.

I told you guys already.

Nope.

Aren't they still cold?

I got it on a shirt and everything.

Cool names.

I'm going to skip the fucking explanation of what is cool.

Arsenal, Berserk, Cobra, Enigma.

Now, hold on.

That's the, I like like mystery.

Like when you, I cruise past you on the bike, if it says like mad dog, you're going to be like, I know that guy's whole deal.

But when he rolls through and he's like,

conundrum, you have no fucking idea what I'm about.

If if you put a question mark on the stencil and it's like enigma yeah like wait was it exactly i don't you run a danger of like your your crew starting to turn into a bunch of batman rogues calorie they're like this is the perplexer

here we got i love it ice king got street paralyzer he's great

Got Thunder Dog.

That's one of the names actually provided here.

I'm just going to rip through some of these names because there's a lot of filler shit in here.

We got Axeman, Buzz, Cougar, Hannah.

Cougar's a thing.

Once again, if there's already

slang

that is attached to that name, I don't think I'd want to be Cougar because they never was like, oh, hey, it's

Cougar, right?

Like,

you could be Cougar Town, and that would be cool.

Yeah, named after KABC.

I'm desperate housewives.

I've been thinking a lot about what these names would look like emblazoned on a vest, and I don't know why my head is there.

But thinking that way, I am interested in the name Kevlar because that's one of the names provided here.

And if you put that on your clothes and another biker road rash style tries to get up on you, you can point to your vest and be like, sorry, bud.

This is among the worst ideas I've ever heard in my entire life.

It doesn't even hold up to like narrative scrutiny, even for like a comedy construction.

No.

The fucking nonsense.

The idea that you would go someone in the fake out of a fake armored vance is so

dangerous.

Maybe it's real.

Maybe it's fake.

Do you want to risk it?

Wait, what am I risking?

Hold on.

Why is the risk on me at this point?

You would be getting jumped in an on-the-road surprise attack.

This is not something you court.

You don't coordinate a badass surprise attack where you want to encourage the opposition to shoot you in the hip no make it extremely clear that they want to go for a headshot i don't think that's what the vest is meant to do is to encourage them to shoot other cooler parts of your body i think it's meant to say they see it and they're like shit this one's got armor don't have to waste your time

they're completely kevar out i would once again

my name's also kevlar fuck guys damn it all these guys are kevlar shoot i think if i was in a biker gang and i met someone named Kevlar and then I found out their real name wasn't Kevin, I'd be very upset.

Really, really disappoint.

But I also think that that kind of impulse is maybe why I'm not in a biker gang.

That idea of like, well, I'll tell you what really pisses me off.

Kevlar over there, his real name's not even Kevin.

And they'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about, Travis?

What are you talking about?

There's a category of names that is not really siloed off here in this WikiHow article, but I would like to discuss sort of the power, the potential power of that

um one of the names on here is warlord i'm thinking of like can you get a name in your motorcycle club that's like king or ruler or head honcho or

boss man boss man

boss guy president but you're not in charge of the biker club They probably would hate that if you're like, hi, I'm secretary treasurer.

I'm ready to run.

They would already have one of those.

Yeah.

Do you think when you're picking, I bet that when you're picking a biker name for yourself, the amount of introspection that it takes to match up the level of badass that the name is with like what you think you can achieve.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, because I don't want to put up a big check that I can't cash.

You know what I mean?

Because I was thinking Warlord, and then you get in there and it's like, I, yeah, I'm not actually, I'm kind of,

I'm kind of like threat averse.

I'm not really into the fight.

I feel like I'd have to pick.

Yeah, you'll be reasonable.

Yeah.

Mantis, I think, would be good for me.

Mantis would be cool.

Mantis.

There's a list of, there's a list of women biker names on here.

Oh, good.

Okay.

And they're about as rough as you can imagine.

There's two on here I would like to dive into a little bit, though.

One is Torque Mistress.

Nice.

That could be...

Now, Juice.

That's good.

What was your reaction to that?

No, it's good.

Torque Mistress.

Torque Mistress is like Torque Mistress is cool.

You're not going to meet the exact people you want to with a name like that.

You're going to, it really narrows the demographic.

Torque Mistress.

Yeah.

It will, unfortunately, it will signal to Torque's wife

what's going on between the two of you.

Torque is just standing in the middle.

Uh-oh, I don't know.

Who's

going to be so mad?

Who's Torque?

Tork's always like, I really hate this, but I'm not sure Tork does at this point, honestly.

I have hated it.

He would have made his choice by now.

The other one I wanted to talk about is smooth wheels, which is like

fucking crazy because you'll die.

Those are bad.

You don't need those.

You need them.

No, don't do that.

I'm going to pick one for Griffin, and I want to nail it.

I want to nail it.

You do that, and I'll give you one from the list of funny biker names they provided, which I did not even know was an option.

Does each biker club have?

I can't, I don't know anything about this world.

I never watched a Sons of Anarchy or anything in that vein.

Is there always like kind of a funny one in the club?

There's always a funny one.

They usually get killed, though.

Yeah, that's true.

I guess I don't know what they're doing most of the time.

Like, obviously.

So normally they yell.

I watch some of Sons of Anarchy, and then I quit.

So here's how I can tell you.

Mostly, they're yelling at each other.

That's the big thing.

And then they're fighting amongst each other, which is wild because they only know like 10 motorcycle guys.

I wouldn't fight with them.

And their whole thing is that they all really like riding motorcycles.

Yeah, they can't live in a cage, which is a car.

Justin, when you stomped watching Sons of Anarchy, did the cast show up to beat you up to let you out?

Is that what happened?

But then the cast of Yellowstone showed up.

It was like,

stay back.

That's our boy.

No.

Family.

Griffin, I'm going to call you porcelain.

Porcelain's cool.

Just the cast of leverage.

We were pretending to be the cast of Yellowstone this entire time.

Yes, dude.

I'd love that.

Are you kidding me?

I know.

It'd be cool if more shows turned out to be leveraged.

I'd rock with porcelain so hard, Trev.

I think you got me in one because something, one, it's true.

I would be so, I can't fall off a bike.

That's it.

And you like the toilet.

Porcelain is.

One, well, I don't, I would love to shed the toilet thing, but there's just like, that's the, that's that club's beauty boy.

I would I would love to be the beauty boy the biker man I think they would call you tax man

shit because it's like it's good too maybe like no one likes you so you're kind of like a bad boy I mean that in a biker way like tax man like oh I just thought you were being the meanest to me you've ever been in your life like tax like but like also I just thought you just casually dropped and no one likes you

I mean like a bad boy like no one gets on your bad side like the tax man like they're coming after you but it's also like you look like you would be good at doing like you would probably end up doing the taxes for the biker gang if they have taxes from like their farmer's market stand or whatever like whatever they are doing i don't know how they how are they getting money i don't know i sell like heritage butter i don't i don't know facebook has taught me that bikers when they're not doing biker stuff are like accompanying children to scary places.

That's what Facebook shows me all the time.

Do they get a stipend from the government to be riding bikes around?

Because I think that's their job.

And I don't know why.

They're influencers.

They're bike influencers.

They see people riding around.

You see cool people in a big biker gang.

They've got

a Motorola motorcycle, one of the good ones.

And then a Motorola big honker.

Yeah, just...

I think they call them Motorola cycles.

Justin, I'm going to call you Bootleg.

Bootleg is good.

That's cool.

Because I bet you know how to get movies

that, like, maybe aren't available in stores.

You know a lot about like VBN and like how to, like, if I'm in America and I want to watch like British TV, how I could do that.

And then when they do like biker club movie night, which may or may not be a thing, again, I don't know fucking anything about this entire subculture.

You are the one who gets to pick the tapes.

Yeah.

And everyone gets together to watch movies after every great bike.

This sounds cool.

I kind of want to be a part of this now.

Yeah, I have an e-bike bag.

If you are in the motorcycles part,

I'd be in.

I mean, I have an e-bike.

I think that's...

Could your personality in the biker gang be like

Bikeless Barry?

Rather than like the one guy in it that doesn't do the motorcycle stuff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sidecar.

Yeah.

They look

toe and toe and Terry.

The guy that writes the terrorists.

Shoe leather.

I'm going to call myself a little bit of a test.

You're talking about Sketch over there?

Yes, the weirdest thing.

He hates motorcycles.

Scared to death of it, but he can draw them.

God.

Have you heard his poetry?

You're talking about skitch?

Yes, the weirdest thing.

He just hangs onto the back of our motorcycles and then rides a skateboard.

We lose everywhere.

That's cool.

He's like our pet.

I'm going to call myself Grimace.

Okay.

Because I have purple hair, but also it's kind of like, oh, you're, oh, it's like a Grimace of Pain or whatever.

That's cool, yeah.

Mostly because I have purple hair.

These are all good names, Trav.

I think you have a calling here.

I don't want you on a motorcycle.

I don't want to either.

No, I wouldn't use

Teresa would be so mad at me.

Yeah.

But I would work as they're like naming Oracle if they would, like, I'm Oracle.

That's a cool fucking

Oracle's cool.

Do bikers have Oracle.

Okay.

Do biker clubs have like an operator who like hangs out at the lair and like tells them where to ride and stuff because that would be cool.

I'm in a little motorcycle chair that zooms around the office.

Tax man would probably handle like logistics.

I think Griff.

Well, Tom San's the numbers guy.

He's doing the money.

If we're being honest, honest, the three of us can only fill that role and know there is not a biker organization alive that wants three operators back at home base.

So we're going to end up on different clubs, I'm afraid.

Well, you can do different shifts.

Yeah, that's true.

You're not 24 hours asleep.

You're right.

I would also bartend if they needed that.

Yeah.

I'd be happy to do that, listen to their troubles.

Let me get away with that.

Report them to the police for

me.

Do you think sidecars are a big part of biker gangs?

Like, like finding buddies for your sidecar, like maybe you can sit in the because I was thinking about the problem with having a sidecar is that if it's ever empty, people are going to assume that you're in a fight.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like they're like, it's like, hey, what happened?

It's like, nothing.

It's just, I just was going out by myself right now.

Like,

I want to be clear.

You keep using the term biker clubs and biker gangs interchangeably.

The organization I'm running is just a team of bike enthusiasts who have no,

there's no criminal element to it whatsoever.

They get paid by the government to ride their bikes around the city.

Right.

And mostly for flavor.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that if you want to join a biker club, you should have to ride in the sidecar for the first year to see if you like it before you get your first motorcycle.

Right.

Because what if you get your first motorcycle, you hop on, you ride your motorcycle for five minutes.

You're like, oh, wait.

Sorry, guys.

i don't sorry guys i tried i don't like this i know you worked really hard to come up with a name for me you don't like tax man it's cool a tax man's great it's a shame i would love to be tax man i just really didn't like that I didn't like riding on the motorcycle.

It was scary.

It was loud.

Hey, guys, no one told me how windy it was going to be.

That's fucking crazy.

You guys deal with that.

What if we put a windshield on it and some like doors, maybe a seatbelt to protect?

I'm describing a car.

Fuck.

You put a helmet on my head, but I have other parts than heads.

Yeah.

Do you?

And my Kevlar vest isn't going to protect my...

What's that?

It's just the name?

Fuck!

Fuck.

That's confusing.

What if someone shoots at me thinking, oh, I see.

Oh,

God.

Wait, is there much shooting in this biking enthusiast club?

The idea of the three of us joining a biker gang is the most

a biker gang or a biker club?

Of enthusiasts.

I don't see any reality where I join a biker gang but i can see one where i buy a motorcycle when i turn 40 because i have a panic attack i imagine that this distinction if you are a member of one of these clubs is extremely important to you so i apologize for for running a fast i think i could join a biker gang as kind of a mascot

mascot slash pet kind of thing no i say gang

do those it's a fun i'm over here in the playground i'm over here in the playground and i'm having fun with the question the question's a big beautiful balloon and and I'm bouncing it around in the air.

You guys are playing in traffic right now.

I'm in the playground where it's fun.

I could definitely, you're not listening.

I could definitely join a biker enthusiast club.

Yeah.

I'm saying the only way I'm making my way into a biker gang is as a pet slash mascot kind of character like Pee Wee Herman and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.

Back in the street.

I don't think any of us are cut out for this life.

Yeah, you're right.

We can't even get the terminology right.

I hope there's not many clips that come out of this episode because there's going to be constant continuity errors with my wearing of the Walton Goggins goggle glasses.

If it just gets him to notice us and say, Boy, those guys sound just like notice me, Gogginson.

Notice me, Goggins.

Put on your glasses.

No, no, we are not at a place that our dear friend Griffin calling.

Yep, here's our Suzuki parody.

We're done.

Kaputsky.

Hey, five, hey, five people who got that.

You're here.

You're so welcome.

Welcome to the fucking real, real club.

Thank you for listening to my brother, my brother, and me all these years.

Really appreciate it.

This one, too, especially this one, but all of them.

We really appreciate it.

Thank you.

If you've never seen us live and in person, you should.

It's even better.

Yeah, we're coming to Michigan and Minnesota next week, and we got new dates in California, Texas, Georgia, and Utah.

All those Taz shows are going to be Taz versus, except for the Anaheim Taz show, which will be Dadlands with Brendan Lee Mulligan.

All tickets are on sale now.

More info and ticket links are available at bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

I'm also so excited this week is Champions Grove.

I'm excited to see everybody there.

It's going to be a blast.

I hope you're having fun.

Yeah, I'm excited.

Hey, we got some merch over at the McElroy merch store.

Guys,

I brewed my first cup of the flaming, not poisoning, raging tea of doom last night

that we co-labbed with Good Store.

It's a wonderful loose-leaf tea.

And guys, I'm not just saying this because it's sort of our thing, but it's a good fucking brew.

Oh, man, it treated me just right.

Wonderful notes of clove,

a spicy finish, which I really do enjoy.

Spicy finishes are so good by coronation.

Flavorful, but not cloying, which is a really difficult balance to stick the landing on.

Herbal, no caffeine, for a nighttime come down.

It's a beautiful brewery.

Nighttime Come Down is another good biker name.

It's a beautiful brew.

And you can find it over at macroymerch.com.

10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Center for Reproductive Rights.

Thank you so much, Montane.

You're the best.

The music is so good.

Keep that new shit coming.

We're eating good over here.

I've got a fear here.

I'd like to read.

Faster than fear.

This year, I'm moving faster than my fear of my partner's worm farm.

The worms aren't strong enough to open it and get me.

My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been my brother, my brother, me.

Kiss your dad square on the lips.

It's better with you.

better.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

Cause it's true.

It's better, it's better with you.

My life,

it's better with you.

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