MBMBaM 747: How You 'Dune, a Friends-Fremen Podcast

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

What's up, you cool baby?

a precious friendship.

I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach.

My life,

it feels love.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

My life,

oh,

it's better, it's better with you.

This is true.

It's better.

It's better with two.

It's better with you.

Hello, and welcome to my brother, my brother, and me and Advice Show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy.

Vroom, vroom,

what's up, Trav Nation?

I'm your middlest brother,

Travis, big dog wolf wolf McElroy.

If you look out your left window, you'll see my babiest brother, Griffin McElroy.

Hello!

I'm not on the plane, I guess.

No, he's on the wing.

We're trying to shake him off.

And so, fashion your seatbelts.

I'm a nasty Skyman.

Yeah, there's a lot of money.

I'm going to get this plane.

Yeah, everybody, try to...

I don't know why I drew attention to it.

Actually, try to ignore the nasty Skyman who's chewing on the wing.

I hope.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Attend the flight attendant.

May I have your attention over here, please?

Yes, sir.

How can I?

There's a nasty Skyman on the wing, and my wife and I paid for it.

I'm gonna get this plane.

The pilot did say to try to ignore the nasty skyman out there.

Can I offer you some warm nuts?

I'm trying to enjoy the latest Alex Foley mystery and this young man on the wing

on the window.

We're sure that he won't be able to get through.

Don't worry about it.

The 747 is is a very secure, safe airplane, I bet.

I eat plane wires for food.

He says that every time.

We've never seen him do it.

He does bite the wires, but I don't think he digests them.

Can I smell through the luggage?

I don't know what else a nasty plane man would say.

Listen, in that skit, we just sort of cooked up live in improv style, which is like fun.

I feel like Travis, you put me outside of the scene and cast me as the nasty sky man without a second thought.

That's called a gift.

That's called giving your partner a gift.

I don't feel like it was a gift.

I felt like it was a challenge, but it was also sort of an exclusionary one.

Well, there's a lot of people.

I thought of you as like the Grand Canyon, and then you chose to be on the wing of the plane, I guess.

Right, but even if I was the Grand Canyon, I wouldn't be like an active participant in the scene.

So just like, I've never done improv, but I don't think at any point one of them can be like, and you're a tree so that you can't get to play.

Oh, I'll say you have to do this show before you can say you've done improv.

Yeah, a little bit here, a little bit there.

These podcasts, what do you have to do?

I think it all adds up to one improv.

At least one you've improvised.

You've improv.

We've done 747 episodes.

I think by this point, you can say I've dabbled at least.

That's why we're doing airplane stuff, by the way.

We've clearly figured it out again in 10 episodes because 757, that's a plane, too.

That's another plane.

What?

I want all the plane models.

Yeah, they're all the planes.

Yeah, have they worked through

626s at some point?

where 625 yeah it was just bestnas um listen

i don't remember a time in school when the path of pilot was open to me

i mean i know people did end up as pilots but i

in my life yeah no one at any point was like this way to that career path.

Do you think that everyone read me instantly and is like, whatever room the potential pilots are in, we don't need Justin in that room.

Yeah, I remember when I was taking

like life skills, which I think was the rebranding of Home Ec, and I absolutely knocked my cross stitch project out of the park.

And my teacher was like, Hey, pretty good cross stitch of a wolf in front of a moon.

You'd make a great pilot.

And I said, No, thank you.

I'm going to be a pie tester.

And I think that's where I missed it.

I've never looked at a kid and thought, I want to be on a plane there driving.

Really?

Because they can't reach all this all the stuff all the buttons and toggles and i think that about your son henry i can't believe you don't you'd let henry fly a plane with you not now

but i'm saying i see within henry an uncut job a pilot's a pilot's spirit a pilot's heart

yeah he has the heart of a pilot you don't see that

maybe i think they didn't see that in me they did they found they looked at my heart and found it lacking yeah you have the heart of a podcaster i'm sorry i look like the kind of guy that would fly into a bunch of birds and just flip the fuck out.

Oh, my God.

Can you imagine?

One bird.

I'm done.

One, not even a flock.

If any of us were flying over the Hudson and we sucked in a single small,

sick goose into our engine.

I would just take the yoke.

I'd push it straight down.

I'd be like, sorry, everyone.

I think

they got us.

If I was a commercial pilot, I think I would get called into whatever my boss's office and they'd be like, hey, you need to stop asking like the control towers and radar people if they see any birds on the flight path.

Like,

no, like, that's what it's, I don't think radar can even pick up birds, but you ask every five minutes.

Uh, here's a quick impression of me in a pilot career path.

You guys can, and uh, who did a skit with me last time?

Okay, this time Travis, in this skit, you are the control tower.

Okay.

Like the actual building?

Because that's basically what Travis did to me last time.

Or like a John Cusack.

But he's getting good at it.

Pushing.

Yeah, push the 10.

Control Tower.

This is just McRoy.

Come in.

Yeah, it's me, John Cusack.

Can I help you?

John?

Yes.

I'm getting very bored, and I don't want to anymore do this.

I don't want to do this anymore.

And the other guy said he won't take over again because he's already done it four times so I could use the bathroom.

And I don't want to do it anymore.

I'm the guy with the batons.

I'm outside.

I can't hear anything you can do.

Can I just say so can i get down please no like you want to stop i want to get down i want to get down i don't want to do it anymore god dang you

i want to run around like you're asking to land

land or not land i want i need to go run around i need to like take a lap and the other guy said he won't fly again okay you just need to go back uh i got the zoomies you got to go back to the uh passengers and see if any of them has the heart of a pilot what if your pilot walk past you and just like you heard him mumble like got the zoomies?

He's stopping by everybody, like, hey, what are you watching?

What's it?

Can I, hey, give me one of the earbuds.

You want to fly?

I need snacks.

What?

I'm the pilot and I need snacks.

Snacks on this plane suck.

They always suck.

Did anybody bring anybody like chocolate cover almonds?

I've been looking for some sweet.

I've been having a lot of salty.

Anybody got MMs?

I told them.

I told the Delta, they gotta get little airheads bites.

I love those things.

Get airheads, bites for the sweet.

They don't listen.

Hey, do you guys remember when we used to smoke on planes?

Get up there and fly.

No, I'm just saying, like, there was a time when there was like steak dinners.

And it's like, why can't we vape?

It doesn't make anything.

I watched Catch Me If You Can, and I was like, I want to do that.

And then I get here, and they're like, you have to stay in the chair the whole time.

And there's like no lounge or whatever.

They should make it.

They should should make a catch me if you can too

and instead of it being about a guy doing a bunch of cons it's a guy who gets really good at secretly vaping in places where he's not supposed to

and it could still have tom hanks in it like

he's like if you care

you you how did you vape on it's a small world in disney in disney and he just pulls out like a toilet paper tube stuff with dryer sheets and he's like i knew it but um

and then you hear justin i love your podcast it's like thank you very much i don't have time to talk right now

i'm going to prison i guess this isn't a good moment i'm being trespassed

um

this is an advice show okay still my youngest sibling got me a tamagochi for kind of

the 2024 re-release of the version i had as a kid which i was obsessed with back then it's as fun and cute as i remember and i've been is it as fun as you remember?

Okay.

It's as all consuming as I remember.

I've been keeping it on my person so I can take care of it and not let it die.

However, I'm a nearly 30-year-old man who has a full-time job and rides the bus and grocery shops and stuff.

And inevitably, sometimes the little guy gets hungry and beeps, so I'm out doing errands around other adults.

Is there a way to care for my little plastic egg toy in public without looking like a large child?

And that's from Pixel Parent in Kentucky.

I got a BB, a Tamar Gotchi for Christmas because she like asked about them and

is it one of the new dope all-color ones or is it like

the re-release

tiger electronics?

I want her to like experience the retro throwback.

And then as she was like unboxing it, she was like asking me and Teresa about it.

And Teresa started describing like, well, you don't, you can't turn it off, right?

Like if you stop paying attention to it, it will, it will die.

And you have to, and Bibi instantly was like, I don't want that.

what and had like a full-blown anxiety like no and hand them out to me and she was like figure out how to turn it off and all i can think is this same child has been asking me for a hamster for so long yeah yeah to be her own and i was like i don't know like you've just

you've just this is the moment where like the lawyer asks the like defendant a question and they just blow the whole thing wide open yeah it's also that kid that classic kid reaction of like i don't want the pressure of thinking this might die, so kill it in front of me while I watch.

Yeah.

I want to watch you do it.

Take the battery out.

Well, what do you think that does?

We need,

it's time to normalize virtual pets.

It's time for these things to be on everyone's person all the time.

I'm thinking more of a giga pets direction because giga pets, you could, I, you could make them fight.

And that's really what I wanted.

Like, that's really what I wanted is to make it, is to prove that I can raise the strongest pet.

That's so interesting, Griffin, because what you've just blown open for me is that Tamagotchis are seen as so childish, and yet Pokemon Ghost swept the world.

Yeah.

And it's like, yeah, how is that that different?

Except they fight.

A little guy.

Just give me a little guy that I have.

Put him in my watch.

My little guy in my watch that I get to.

Do to boop up.

Whenever I'm going to be able to do that.

What would all human interaction be like?

Like every uncomfortable conversation you've ever had, if you could just be like, hey, quick battle?

Yeah.

I'm going to knock out quick battle.

So

choice.

I see you're also a fire type.

You wouldn't.

Yeah.

She's like, would you like a quick battle?

Like, I mean, everybody, like, even all

people who you government-mandated.

Whack, like, whack.

Like, old whack people, even them have them.

You know what I mean?

Like, even your nanny.

My nanny's not whack, but like, you get the idea.

Yeah.

Like, she's old.

I'll have them.

Quick battle, no problem.

You could be so great.

If if we could figure out a way to connect like Pokemon or Tamagotchi or Gigapet to like mining crypto, billions.

Now you're now you're putting the douche chills in me, Trash.

Yeah.

Oh, I actually think that's what Logan Paul was trying to do with ZooCoin.

Actually, now that I say it out loud.

You put the shiver in me, Trash.

I think I've reverse engineered the ZooCoin scam.

That's a shame that you did that.

Yeah, no, I said it and then I hated it.

Let's go back to the other thing where you could

ignore the thing that I said where I created Cutie Coin.

Yeah.

I'll say this.

If you can live authentically on your Tamagotchi, all you're going to garner is envy.

Because if I saw someone on a bus and I didn't have anything to play with and they had a Tamagotchi, I would think, hmm, looks pretty fun.

I might even get a little closer, like look over their shoulder, like, wish I had that.

And if you are a person in the world who that is bringing you joy no matter what that object is everyone else will just look at you with with i wish i had that joy one of the people in the cast of 20 sighted tavern had a tamagotch that she was taking care of

and my every time it would beep or something like the first time i was around when it beeped she like kind of apologized and i was like no man it seems really grounding and really mindfulness like i'd rather have a friend that gives me tamagotch updates than a friend that feels the need to bring me every uber distressing headline they strove across like some sort of like wild cat bringing me a terrifying dead birds when I least expect it.

No, thank you.

Just go ahead and give your eggs some milk or whatever.

Yeah, I love it.

I think they could come in different form factors.

We're done talking about this question.

So sorry.

I know that you probably wanted like concrete advice.

Instead, the three of us are just kind of

advice.

Just live authentically and enjoy your dream.

Live authentically and live your dream.

Now, as for this mandatory Tabogotchi that everyone's going to have, I think different forms.

Mandagachi.

Mandigachi is really, really cool.

Gatagachi.

Gatagachi.

Yeah.

Maybe they can look like a little, like a beeper.

Because then if you see someone with a little beeper size thing here and it beeps and they do stuff with it, I'm not going to ask you about that.

That could be a health-related thing.

Especially if it's one of those where like the screen slides up to reveal a keyboard.

When I see those in like old shows now, where somebody has a phone that flips out and they slide it up, it's like, I actually regret that we moved away from that.

That looks so cool.

And someone does that.

That is is pretty cool i don't know that i love it for this trav and i'll tell you why i like i want a little guy i like i want a little guy and i don't want to have i don't want to have internet access i don't want to do other stuff on my messages to your little guy

i would prefer to talk to him talk to him i guess oh it's got voice it's voice enabled thank you i'll neural net with my little guy okay

i may not actually need to talk to my little guy now that i think about it i might just want to be take care of my little what if he gets lonely i would press the button to make make like a stuffed animal appear.

What if you get lonely?

It would press the button to make a stuffed animal appear for you.

I think, what if we had it as just a chip implanted at birth and it grew with you, but it was like your little avatar, right?

That grew with you and you had to take care of.

But then they were also reminding you, like, stay hydrated and get enough exercise and eat your vegetables.

Yeah.

So, like, they're your little like Jiminy cricket with you all the time.

Yeah.

Like a conscience.

Like a conscience, finally.

But finally.

They can battle.

But they can battle.

They can battle.

They can battle.

So that would be cool if Pinocchio rolled up on some other boy and was like, oh, you think you're, oh, what'd you say?

Talk shit about my nose?

Did you say some shit about my dad's accent?

It's time to throw down.

Yeah.

Time to throw down.

Adam, Jiminy.

Go, Jiminy.

I choose you.

Choose Guilt Trip.

My Cricket has blades on it.

Awesome.

My Cricket.

My Cricket has cyber blades.

What if Jiminy Cricket was just a Scyther?

Yeah.

That would be so cool if Jiminy Cricket goes a Scyther.

That'd be great.

Hey, here's another question.

Every year in my hometown in Florida, they throw the annual Sop Choppy Worm Grunting Festival.

For the listeners who don't know what worm grunting is,

read a book.

More's the pity.

Basically, you take two sticks, rub them together, and magically make worms crawl out of the ground.

This year, they're accepting submissions from local artists to design their t-shirts and merch.

is great for me since I'm an artist by trade.

However, I'm having some trouble finding inspiration for the design.

Previous years, they've had worms dressed as burlesque dancers, worms playing the banjo, and worms in cowboy hats riding crabs.

Brothers, how do I compete with that?

What would you like to see on these shirts?

Happy Grunton wintering in Wakula.

I'm not usually wild about the like make jokes for me.

Make a joke for me, yeah, but this is so strong.

And this sop choppy worm grunting is three

powerful.

Sop choppy worm grunting is, it sounds like an incantation.

It sounds really, really

ethereal and special.

What about just like a real close-up picture of a worm's face?

And it's like really intense and it's just going

real close-up, like Rin and Stimpy when they used to do the like the close-up look at their face and it was all grotesque.

Yeah, that's cool.

That would be good.

Or a worm giving birth to Sonic and they're grunting.

I can tell how you feel about the joke you made, Travis, by the sort of paralysis, the facial paralysis that followed it.

It was really great.

Travis in that moment was making some, was really cheesing,

trying to get something out of Justin and I, because if we didn't laugh at what he just said, it would be a great betrayal of him in front of him.

And I am sorry for it.

It seemed the right choice in the moment.

Now I feel kind of guilty for leaving you out to house.

Do you want me to say it again?

I absolutely do not want to do it.

This really works.

It's called worm charming.

And because of the vibrations in the ground, it makes the worms come up.

They did studies.

Animals do it.

They did it in Dune.

Get this.

Worm?

No,

listen, birds do it.

That's the best.

Fleas do it.

Even little fleas do it.

Everybody's running out of here for worms.

The birds go on the ground and they start stomping around.

And the worms are like, what in the hell is happening?

And then they go out and get eaten.

That's messed up.

Okay, but a first bird had to do that at some point in nature history where all the other birds are just looking like, what's Stan doing?

And he's just standing on the ground, stomping his feet.

And they're like, this, this crazy guy, what's he doing?

And then some worms start coming up and even Stan is blown away.

He's like, I didn't think that would work.

I just stomped a bunch of words came up.

This is going to be a great idea that I'm about to say so brace your asses your design should be a worm riding on the back of a bigger worm like a dune guy did yeah

i was gonna say a dune worm

so what is just ask i want to ask one thing okay is it how is it on top of it is it's like leg you see did you see dune two no i did i did i did is it just like squatted on top in dune two he rides it like uh like he's doing a trick on a like a jet ski like he's like standing right

standing and he's got rain and he's and if the worm could be in a fremen suit yeah i think that'll sell it damn that scene is so cool

you know what i'm sitting here thinking do you know how cool that has to be to watch it and not think like i'm gonna make a joke about this on a podcast but instead think like man i wish i was up there with him can you imagine being tim Timmy on that day

and knowing Timmy Chimmy being Timmy Chimmy and knowing that that was the day you get to do the worm scene yeah I bet he was stoked out of his goddamn gory Do you think they got to end that day?

And he was like, I don't think we got it.

I don't think we got it.

I want to try again.

Try again.

Please.

Maybe the lighting lighting was.

Do you think Timmy Chimmy got to keep the apparatus?

Got to keep the worm.

Well, not they obviously didn't have a whole worm.

What?

They definitely had part of the worm's lumpy back.

And I think he probably.

Well, it's not a real worm.

I assume they built, like when they did like Jurassic Park, they built a large, like kind of animatronic worm for there's so much good dunes.

There's so much worm stuff in Dune.

You'd be crazy not to use some of this shit in your design.

Dang, I wish we could watch Dune.

Damn, I'd watch Dune right now.

Cancel the rest.

Dune on the podcast.

That would be cool.

That's so sick.

I wish I had a third monitor to have Dune on in the background.

You had Dune right here.

Maybe I do.

Yeah, maybe I Dune.

Oh, no.

Hey, hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

How you doing?

How you doing?

Is that good?

Our new podcast.

Do the Dune?

How you doing?

How you doing?

Do the Dune.

It's a friends.

Friends slash a Dune.

So I don't think you need any other ideas.

It's like a picture of a human being on a hook.

And it's like the hook is going through the human's belly.

And they're like, oh, is a worm holding it?

Is a worm involved?

And then a worm has a fishing hat.

And you see the worm like holding the pole.

That's cool.

That's like a protest design.

That's like a protest political.

Everybody in the picture is the humans loving it.

The humans loving it.

Like, I was wrong.

This is good.

In my version, the human wouldn't be loving it.

There are people who get suspended from hooks for fun and pleasure.

Yep.

Oh, you listen.

My in-law is a welder and loves showing me his work.

He is so kind and so excited, and I want to give him the same energy back, but I know nothing about welding.

How do you compliment someone's welding?

That's from Metal Man in Montreal.

Now, the obvious answer is to say, weld done.

Weld on.

Yeah, they love that shit.

They love that.

Clean seams.

Don't say seamless.

Because there is a seam there.

That's part of it.

Yeah.

If it was seamless, that's a shitty weld, actually.

Tight circles.

Here's what I'll say.

I welded in college.

Right.

The things I remember most, God, it stinks.

Oh, does it?

It smells so bad, and anything you wear while welding is going to stink forever.

Oh, that's a shame.

What do you think is making that?

I mean, if you like the smell, I guess, but it's like, it's like, it stinks to weld.

It also is wicked dangerous.

So dangerous.

Because, like, they give you a special mask that when it turns on, you can't see shit.

So they've given you a powerful, like, lightning gun and then said, hey, make sure you're in position when this starts because otherwise you can't see what the fuck you're doing.

It's so my approach to life is so different from other people's because if someone was like,

hey, Justin, let me show you my

welding.

I'm instantly like, right now, let's go.

Show me how to do this.

Drop it.

I want to go.

Let's go out to the welding place.

I got to weld right now.

I know you have the welding shit.

Like, don't hold out and don't be like, it's too dangerous, Justin.

You know, my yada, yada, yada.

Just let me play with the thing, please.

Thank you.

And I'll just stick pieces of metal randomly together.

I don't need to do anything purposeful.

Exactly, Travis.

I don't want to mess up whatever you're doing.

I just want to be like,

you know what I mean?

Like, just glue a bunch of metal together for a bit for distance.

I feel that.

I'm going to say blanket statement that applies to any of the means of production.

Yeah.

If you have seized any of the means of production and have access to them in your home, right?

Yeah, I'd like to see how that works.

Octom holiday works.

Pottery, glass blowing,

anything.

Even like I have the power to attack.

You have

a loom?

I mean, but

between my 3D printer and my Cricut, I'm basically Iron Man over here.

I can make whatever.

Would you do it in a cave?

Would you could you with a fox?

If it's consensual.

Hey, listen.

You could say something along the lines of how much weight you think you could suspend.

I feel like that's the thing that welders would love to hear.

Like, if they've made like a corner weld and you're like, oh, yeah, you could hang like, you could hang, what, like 100, 300 pounds?

Yeah.

What if you just like quick spin kick, just like right into the weld, and it's like you crumple your ankles broken.

It's like, wow, that is really

good.

That's a neat trick, Juice.

You can only do it twice.

You only got the two ankles.

only got the two ankles to compliment with

yeah the next time you go for that compliment and they're like hey look at this weld and you start gearing up and they're like no it's fine it's good it's good please don't do it it's been six months of intense physical therapy please you just healed up my metal ankles the doctor said that can't happen anymore and then you kick it with your metal ankle and your ankle breaks and you're like I should have gotten you to weld it.

What was I thinking?

There's nine types of welds.

Oh, I think you could have googled them in the span of time you have taken to email us a question.

I'm learning all about welding today.

I mean, it's less fun, but you want practicality.

I'm surprised.

Sometimes you see a weld and it looks like a wavy pattern, like a cake frosting that's been applied to it.

And that's good.

Yeah.

I, okay, jokes, jokes out of the room.

I took a blacksmithing class or two, and I did some welding in there.

And I lustered so cool.

Blacksmithing doesn't excite me as much because it's like you take one piece of metal, you make it look like something else.

Being able to take two pieces of metal and attach them, that seems crazy to me.

That seems fucking wild to me.

That, Griffin, what you just said, myself as a journeyman blacksmith, really

deeply offended me.

The idea that you're like blacksmithing.

I could take a piece of metal, Griffin, and turn it into art or weapons.

I think I understand blacksmithing.

You get the thing hot enough and then you can change how it looks.

That's cool.

How do you attach it?

With the gentle strike of my hammer, I can shape the very essence of earth into whatever you need.

That's cool.

And I know, but I know how that works.

I don't get welding.

I don't know what's fucking going on in there.

It's attaching two pieces of metal forever.

How are they doing this stuff?

They're getting it so hot.

I think we need the metal workers to step in here.

I made a video about how to fake an interest in woodworking back in,

say, 2020.

And guys, that video has 264,000 views.

That is outside of our normal performance.

That means that people are finding this instructional video I made and watching it, learning how to compliment a woodworker.

We need our metalworkers.

Step in.

Please tell us the nice things to say about metalworking.

In general, by the way, that should be a whole series of like somebody gave me a knitted gift and I need to know, like, how to not just be like, oh, cool, cozy.

I need deeper layers than that.

Give me how to complement knitted craft work.

Give me how to complement

like pottery.

Give me how to complement these things.

Give me how to sound good talking about like American basketball history.

Anything you guys want to start throwing at me to teach me how to sound

at a certain point, you're just describing school.

No, yeah, I remember that class where they told me how to sound smart talking about like somebody's wood carvings, Griffin.

What do you think?

Sometimes I'm watching one of them Greens videos.

Yeah.

And I'm like, and I, because it's like, it sounds cool what they're talking about.

And they're like, you want to learn about some old boat?

And I'm like, hell yeah, Greens, Greens boys, let's do it.

And then I, but then I, they, I catch them after a few minutes.

I'm like, this is school.

You tried to get me back into school.

Nice try.

It's school 2.0 because if somebody said to me, hey, sit down and watch these Green brothers talk about our old vote.

And at the end, we're going to test you on it.

And depending on how well you do, it increases our funding.

I'd be like, oh, fuck off.

Yeah, that's that.

I guess you do it.

And then get the best score you could and then feel good.

Yeah, I would.

Okay.

I would.

You would.

I would.

But.

But that's not the point.

Respect.

Self-respect.

A self-respecting person with dignity.

Yeah.

Someone who cares more about their own self-worth than than proving to others how good they are at things wouldn't do that.

No, hey, uh, would it be all right with you guys if we took a quick break?

Yeah, I'm so tired.

Let me think.

Thank you.

Yeah, I think it's all right.

I think the ad guys step in for a second.

Yeah, bring in our stomach doubles to the money zone.

Hey, listen,

it's time for you to get out there and start making your way in the world today.

It takes everything you got, but the first thing it takes is a great-looking website.

And that is easier than it sounds if you're willing to harness the power of Squarespace.

Because frankly, your dad and I have been supporting you for too long.

We've let you live in the boathouse this whole time.

And it's time for you to make a name for yourself.

I'm an old sailor.

That's right.

On a boat, on a nearby boat.

And he's outside the wing.

He's on the wing of the plane right now.

Squarespace lets you make a beautiful website and engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on my terms.

That's right.

I've partnered with Squarespace to determine all the terms.

This is like when they have a Travis Scott do a meal or something

at McDonald's.

It's a lot like the Travis Scott meal, except it's me and Squarespace said, you get to decide if every site's good enough or not.

And I'm a pretty harsh critic when it comes to sites.

It's got, that's not true.

You can do whatever.

Squarespace payments, they got no matter how they want to spend the money and what vehicles that that money travels in, Squarespace Payments are going to get you there.

And you make it look all good.

They have a visual.

You make it look all good.

You make it look all good.

You make it look all good.

You make it look all good with an unrivaled suite of visual design effects built and ready to go on any Squarespace website.

We've

been I feel bad enough about the suite of visual design effects that I've been developing.

For you to say I'm not even rivaling Squarespace in this public forum is like unnecessary.

They don't even see you in the same league, Justin.

I am saving these files as fast as I can.

I'm putting them in the cloud as fast as I can.

I can't keep up.

It's a whole company.

Yeah, sorry, man.

You're just never going to catch up.

No, not.

Because Squarespace is going to keep making them.

And even if Justin keeps making them apace, he will never catch up.

He's so far behind Squarespace.

And it's not fair.

Squarespace kicks so much ass, it's not fair that Justin has to try and fight them.

And yet.

And yet, go to squarespace.com for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, go to www.squarespace.com slash my brother to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

We're blasting off.

We're blasting off to savings and fiscal responsibility.

And if you look out the window of this rocket, out on the wing, you'll see Griffin McElroy.

That's right.

I'm not going to take the lead on this sad, though.

Nice try, hater.

Oh, Griffin just flew off the wing.

Oh,

we're moving too fast.

Oh, I'm burning up on re-entry.

Hey, it's me, Justin McElroy.

I'm out on the other wing.

Back to you, Trev.

Ah, thank you so much, Justin.

Rocket money is there to save you money and to help you

feel fiscally responsible, keep track of your budgets, all of these things.

It's a new year.

It's the perfect time to get organized, set goals, all of that stuff.

And they can help you across so many different options, all kinds of accounts.

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

Scan your bills to find opportunities to save.

And Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million and cancels subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year using all of the app's premium features.

So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

Financial.

Your financial goals.

Financial goals.

Faster with Rocket Money.

Go to RocketMoney.com/slash my brother today.

That's rocketmoney.com/slash my brother.

RocketMoney.com/slash my brother.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's Learn Everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined!

No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Long.

I'm Caroline Roper and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Would you like another question?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

I just started a new job working in a warehouse where it is required to stand the entire shift.

Great.

One of my yeah, one of my New Year's resolutions was to get fit.

So I thought I might as well work out while I'm standing.

Okay.

I've tried to march in place, but it made it look like I constantly had to use the bathroom.

Any ideas for some secret exercises I could do that won't be weird?

That's from Covert Cardio in Cleveland.

Okay.

It would be so tight if you could just vibrate your body all over.

Like the belts?

Like the

belts.

It's

all the time.

It would be imperceptible.

Right.

This sort of like shifting, just like a full visual.

You don't have to make a face, I think, to do it.

Because if I walked around and I saw someone standing stock still because the vibrations are so minute, making that face, I would know that they're vibrating.

What if they had to have raised eyebrows to do it?

No, I don't think there could be any kind of visual tell.

I don't want to know if you're vibrosizing or not.

You should be able to do it even if you're walking around.

This is Kaggles.

You're describing Kaggles.

I don't know if you can walk around and do Kaggles at the same time.

You can't.

If you focus up, man, get get it right and tight now here's my question i'd say i want to see it but both of your guys offices are a little

bit now why

this wasn't the question but i'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't be allowed to sit down in the warehouse is the assumption like at any moment at any moment there could be a truck come or the rail

it's irrelevant it's a re it is irrelevant however i have to imagine it is man i don't know here's what i will say treat yourself to some of the inserts If you're going from not standing all day to standing some of the day, get the inserts.

Get the inserts.

Get the inserts.

That's a really good place to start.

You can't have like improvements in your health if you're undone by muscle strain from

being on your feet all the time.

So start with the shoals.

That's a huge step.

It may take you a month to get used to that.

Don't even try to start exercising yet.

I'm also going to go ahead and recommend get super good at forklift because that's a sit-down opportunity every time you're on forklift.

I don't think this person wants to sit down more.

I think they're trying to get healthy.

Here's how you do it.

Are you ready?

What's that?

It's two birds.

I got this one stone.

I'm going to murder them.

So you can't sit down.

You want to exercise more.

You're going to find a wall.

You're going to press your back against it and go into like you're sitting down, right?

With your arms out.

And that can feel good.

Yeah.

And you're going to work out.

It's a core workout, arm workout, leg workout, everything, right?

And eventually, you're going to build the the muscles so good, you won't need the wall anymore.

You're just going to be able to sit down in the air.

Can you even imagine?

Can you even imagine having that superpower, such super hyper-developed muscles that I can do?

I wouldn't do anything else except like hmm and sit down in mid-air all the time.

Like I'm having the deepest think on philosophy, religion, economics.

That is cool.

I prefer vibrosizing just because I think that it is going to be an easier solution in the long run.

And also, if you touch like some glass, it'll like hum because of the vibration.

Like, if you hold a glass of water, you can like see the ripples on the surface.

Like, there's so much cool stuff we could do with vibrosizing.

Could you get a partner in this, another co-worker, and you guys just lean back to back against each other?

And then eventually maybe a third person joins, that fourth, that fifth.

And pretty soon, you're just a stack of leaning people all resting against one another,

supporting each other.

I call it a union.

And this union supports each other.

Tell me more, Travis.

Ah, thank you for asking.

So the union, it's like they're all leaning against each other.

Does the boss get to join the leaning, Travis?

Is he in charge of the union?

No.

The boss is in charge of who leans on what, right?

No, the union is its own things and makes its own decisions and has what I call this leaning negotiating power.

Huh.

Till you get chairs.

I guess.

I don't understand why we can't get the dang boss in there, though.

Because the boss with all the money in his pockets is too heavy to lean against.

That's the guy we should be listening to, though.

He's got all that money.

He probably knows how to lean the best or else he wouldn't be the goddamn boss, Travis.

Well, it's because he saves that money to not spend on chairs, and he has his own chair.

This is the thing.

He doesn't need to lean.

Well, his chair is, his chair, he explained it once.

His chair is where he does all of his best boss thinking.

Yeah.

And he has to sit down in order to do his best boss thinking.

That's why he can't lean on the union, right?

Because he would get too distracted from his boss work.

Okay.

Well, he can still support the union in other ways, I believe.

Yes, and

he should.

Okay.

And this is, and this will get me fit, you said?

It will.

Wow.

Emotionally and financially.

Cool.

That's awesome.

It's really cool.

That's a good invention you just came up with.

Thank you.

I just came up with it.

That's cool.

You're all welcome.

Shelly.

I want a munch.

Squad.

I want two munch.

Squad.

Squad.

Welcome to Munchquad's podcast with a podcast profiling the latest, greatest brand eating.

It has been a while since we've been able to really dig through everything that's going on, and things are moving at a speed.

A lot of news.

And January is the time.

Like, if you listen to like the Empty Bowl, my cereal podcast, you'll know.

Don't plug your other podcast right here in the middle of your podcast within a podcast.

We're already one podcast.

You're welcome to podcast.

Justin, you're welcome to plug any of your projects that you want.

You are an equal contributor.

Stand up from where you're sitting and look in a mirror okay go find a mirror i don't have a mirror in here exactly that's that's wild baloney that's insane traffic i mean i can kind of see myself in the reflection of my fish tank there's a lot going on let me just tell you guys

i want to start with like the new year because that's you know obviously top of mind three weeks ago

with a late winter menu packed with hydration fun and of course indulgence sonic's angle is that they have drinks too that's all that's sonic's thing is like they have drinks and they'll serve you breakfast when it comes to it.

I've never seen any kind of fast food or quick service restaurant advertise hydration before, as in like, come to us, we'll get it, we will get the wet party.

Also, indulgence isn't really the buzzword for January.

Yeah, well, that all changes when you're buying a drink at Sonic with their sour dragon fruit recharger with Red Bull.

Too many words.

Too many words.

Ultimate Midday Pick-Me-Up.

It's a blend of Red Bull, lemon lime, soda.

You get it.

At Sonic, we know the new year calls for fresh ways to refresh and recharge, said McKenzie Gibson.

Our late winter menu is all about embracing fun and flavor in third 25 from the bold new bacon deluxe double sonic smasher.

Why?

There's so many words.

Strawberry fusion fizz.

We're making it easier and more delicious for fans to keep the tastiest resolution of all to add more flavor to the year.

Now, this is what I wanted to really tell you about, guys.

Hey, real quick, though, can I ask, do you think when they're developing these things, do you think that any of them consider the actual person sitting in their car having to lean over to the microphone and go uh yeah can I have the dragon fruit fizz

sour punch in the face with oh well uh red bull and ice

you don't have to do that I don't do that like if someone's like we have chicken coviant I was like I'll just have the chicken just bring me a second one I'm not going to say a name you say red give me red bull drink and then I'll have the red bull drink you You know the one I mean.

Fans, this is the important thing, though, guys.

Fans can also start the year knowing that they're contributing to a cause we're celebrating.

As a portion of every drink purchased supports public education through the Sonic Limaids for Learning Initiative.

Powered by the Sonic Foundation, Sonic has donated more than $28 million since 2009 to fund local classrooms.

Jesus.

Making it one of the largest programs supporting public education in the U.S.

Wait.

It doesn't say corporate or private business programs oh man no it's emotionally much more bracing than that Travis it says making it one of the largest pro

sonic limits for learning is one of the largest programs supporting public education in the United States and that's 28 million spread out over 16 years In other news, CC Pizza is launching spaghetti and meatballs pizza for schools.

CC Pizzini.

it's fucking Cece Pizzini the culinary mastermind behind Cece's pizza and endless buffet is introducing a limited time spaghetti meatballs pizza to continue the brand's 40th anniversary celebration it's a one-of-a-kind pizza bringing together three beloved Italian comfort foods spaghetti meatballs and pizza featuring spaghetti noodles savory meatballs which we could all agree is better than sweet meatballs yeah rich marinara sauce and melted cheese on Cece's signature crust.

So they just slop some noodles on there?

Yeah, bud.

They just slop some noodles on there.

And what's Cece's got what's sorry, it's not Cece, it's Jeff Hetzel, the president of Cece's Pizza.

Spaghetti and pizza have always been at the heart of celebrations and cherished memories, making this the perfect way to honor Cece's 40 years of bringing pizza together.

In that point, I do agree with Jeff Hetzel that a spaghetti and meatball pizza is a perfect way of celebrating Cece's.

Our new spaghetti and meatball pizza celebrates our legacy of comfort, value, and innovation.

And challenge

concepts.

And then it goes to schools.

And then they give the money from the spaghetti.

Cece's does not.

Cece's actually takes money from schools.

Cece's is not.

Sonic helps schools.

Cece's goes to school.

The way you attach those, Justin, I thought that this was going to end with our,

we're calling it the spaghetti and meat school pizza.

I also want to brighten your spirits with the knowledge that as the weather gets colder and you learn that one of the biggest programs funding U.S.

education is Sonic's Lime is for Learning.

They're warming things up over at CC's with a recipe you can't find anywhere else.

All I can think of parts fun, familiar, and delicious.

If somebody brought me a pizza box and I opened it and I found, without warning, atop of my pizza, a big pile of loose spaghetti noodles, my brain would inherently think, oh no, something's gone horribly wrong.

There was a big earthquake only at the Italian food restaurant.

There was a big Italian mix-em-up.

Classic Italian mix-em-up.

This is my favorite heist movie from the 80s.

My pizza is ruined.

You know what I mean?

I don't think I would be excited about this.

Okay, cool.

This is cool, Juice.

Yeah, so this is our last story this week.

Cheat on your diet with Arby's.

Your secrets are so good.

I wish it said cheat on your wife with Arby's.

Cheat on your spouse with Arby's.

Pull an American pie on one of our giant roast beef sandwiches and cheat on your wife with Arby's.

It's January, the time for fresh starts, new goals, and the promise of healthier habits.

Everyone's on board, hitting the gym, meal prepping, saying no to dessert, and feeling good about it.

But let's be real for a second.

By mid-January, we're all looking for that one cheat day to give our resolutions a break.

And who wants to fess up to it?

No one.

That's where Arby's comes in.

Arby's Arby's handling this with the amount of sensitivity that I would come to expect from Arby's the meat house yeah so this is great a wild assumption that everyone's on board hey people who have clicked to read an arby's press release yeah we know you're on board with health new year same you this is the name of the menu huh Cool.

Only menu help you design, designed to help you cheat on your goals without the judgment from your friends and family in five select Arby's locations.

They are in Cleveland, Las Vegas.

Cleveland, Las Vegas, Miami, Chicago, and Atlanta.

That tracks.

It

is great.

Now listen, here's the magic.

What these five locations have done is they renamed some of the items.

So the double beef and cheddar they're now calling salad with dressing.

And they're calling the regular Jamoka shake a green smoothie.

And they're calling small curly fries seam vegetables.

So they are celebrating.

Arby's is celebrating the new year with some fucking Orwellian double-speak madness where they're just calling foods different things.

The story that they're envisioning here is that I have made a resolution to be healthier, to eat healthier.

And on my cheat day, I'm going to sneak over to Arby's.

And then when I get home and I guess my spouse or somebody is like,

I need to check the receipt.

And I hand them an Arby's receipt that says, I got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie, and a steamed vegetables.

That my whoever accountability partner is like, you went to Arby's and got a salad with dressing, a green smoothie, and steamed vegetables?

They've never had those things at Arby's before.

This is, this is, okay, this, Trav, this is the actual quote, brother.

At Arby's, we know that keeping your resolutions are hard, especially when you have pressure from family and friends, said Jeff Baker.

This menu is just the perfect way to to treat yourself while saving you the headache of having to explain to everyone.

What the fuck?

Arby's you have the rest of 2025 to hit your goals.

And at Arby's, we just want to, you know, have a fun, stress-free indulgence.

Stress-free.

No judgment, no guilt.

No, just good food that makes sticking to those resolutions a whole lot easier.

So go ahead, order that salad.

Enjoy those steamed vegetables.

And let's let Arby's help you through this time of year with a side of humor and a whole

lot of flavor.

I'm so glad, Justin, that Arby sent this to you to

kind of edit before they published it to everybody because I have so many notes.

They would be so better off if they had taken this in the direction of, hey, we're Arby's.

And we know you want to, you know, treat yourself a little better and maybe make some mindful decisions regarding like your eating habits and your health.

But if you have someone

incredibly personal topic that we Arby's should not probably take a shot and that's up to you additional.

But if you have someone in your life who's giving you shit about occasionally having like some fries, that's fucked up.

Come to Arby's.

No, Travis, you're but what you're

it's not that Arby's thinks that they're helping you out because what they are saying though is what they're envisioning is a situation where your partner, it's easier and less complicated for you to explain that yes, you actually did get a small steamed vegetables at Arby's.

Like,

and here's why.

Allow me to explain.

So that actually you are embarrassing yourself because it was healthy, Arby's Cindy.

And sorry in this universe.

I guess they also assume I've already told my partner I'm going to Arby's.

It's worse than that.

They're telling you that you're cheating on your diet with yourself.

So what they're saying is you'll get a receipt out three weeks later and be like, I went to Arby's?

Fuck me.

This is classic me.

Oh, wait a minute.

I got a salad.

All right.

Good job.

Could you play it?

You get home, and your significant other is like, hey, I know you're concerned about your heart health, and you've been trying to cut red meat out.

That's a big, big, wet pile of red meat you have there.

You say, no, it is a salad with dressing.

Have you seen is it cake, baby?

So, this is like that where they make it look

is it salad?

It is.

No, I'm not gonna cut it open.

Just trust me.

It's gonna be really hard to explain to people that in the span of five years, we went from McDonald's actually selling a salad you could buy to Arby's calling roast beef sandwiches salads.

That's like, that's where we're at.

It took about five years.

Gastro juice, it's gastro.

It says salad that looks like a roast beef sandwich.

Fucking Wiley Dufran undone it again.

Gastro lighting is more, is more like it.

That's what we're getting for Arby right now.

Who I feel bad for?

I feel bad for anybody who pulls up to Arby's and is so excited to see that they now have salads

and like steamed vegetables.

And they're like, Yeah, then they get it and they're like, oh, something, there's been a classic Italian mix-im up here.

Thank you, Wendy's, for continuing to offer your raggedy salads.

Fighting the good, sad fight.

You think you got the salad equivalent to soldiers eating their shoe level to eat leather during the Civil War.

You keep dumping your busted down chili on it and calling it a talk.

Your chili that already has your cut-up hamburgers.

So it's a double repurposing.

And you keep putting that busted stuff out there good for you guys thank you for that mcdonald's got too embarrassed during covet they're like nah it's in a cup still not fun enough

do you like wendy's do i like wendy's yeah

do you like wendy's nuts drag on your face

Guys, I'm fucking those left, right, and center over here.

That's good.

We can't end any stronger than that.

Thank you so much for listening to our podcast.

We're coming to Florida February 20th through the 22nd.

20th and 21st, we're going to be in Tampa doing Mabim and Taz, first ever Taz in Florida.

And February 22nd, we're doing Mabim Mam in Jacksonville.

Tickets are on sale now.

If you go to bit.ly forward slash McElroy Tours.

Speaking of tickets on sale now, Champions Grove, I think there's like four left.

So hurry over and grab those.

Get your packages at championsgrove.com.

Come join us in Hawking Hills, Ohio, at a real-life castle to play some us.

It's me and other creators.

I didn't invite Griffin and Justin this year, but you can come join us, championsgrove.com.

You didn't invite me last year.

I just paid for myself.

I invited you to pay.

We have available a Miggy plush in coordination with U2s that is only available until January 28th.

Miggy, of course, being the mascot and weirdly enough, producer of

the McLoy Family Clubhouse.

You can find a link where you can get this beautiful MIGGI plush that is only available until January 28th at bit.ly slash YouTube's MIGGI.

That's Y-O-U-T-O-O-Z Miggy.

And pick it up.

I have one.

It's adorable and I love it.

We've also got some other merch over at macrowaymerch.com.

There's an energy dragon pin.

Speaking of clubhouse, 10% of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund.

That's all there.

Did we come up with

the NOVA?

Thank you to Montaigne.

Thank you to Montaigne for these months.

My life is better with you.

Thank you, Montaigne.

So I think we should invite our listeners to share with us their irrational or maybe silly fears that they have chosen to let go of this year.

And to set the tone, I will go first.

Wow, Travis.

You, Travis, will go first.

I will.

You're going out on a lamb here.

It'll be hard to convince me that laughing at other people's fears.

Yeah, Griffin and I were pretty firm about this at the beginning.

In the year 20 Thunder Drive, faster than fear, I shall let go of my fear of the robot lady from Superman 3.

Very brave, Travis.

I take it all back.

Very brave.

My name is Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy.

I'm Griffin McElroy.

This has been my brother, my brother.

May kiss your dad square on the lips.

It's better, it's better with you.

It's better with you.

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