MBMBaM 743: Combination Taco Bell and Travis House

The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.

What's up, you cool baby?

One, two, three, it's the start

of something beautiful.

A small acquaintance has blossomed, it's ripened into a precious friendship.

I could have never seen what was coming for me.

Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach.

My life,

it feels love.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

My life, oh,

it's better, it's better with you.

This is true.

It's better with two.

Hello, everybody.

Welcome, my brother, my brother, and me.

It's an advice show for the modern era.

I'm your oldest brother, Jingle, Justin Back.

Ooh, what's up, Trav Nation?

Jingle, Jangle, old Chris Krangle, Travis, big dog Woody Thing.

What's up, Trav Nation?

Ring a dation.

I didn't finish.

Hark have the bells, sweet silver bells.

All seem to say,

brother, Travis, big dog wolf, McElroy, McElroy.

As we certainly guess now, it's our candle night spectacular here at the McElroy Ranch.

Griffith has frozen completely.

No, he's back.

Okay.

That was just my body, dude.

That was not a glitch.

I snowdown.

I just kind of stopped for a bit.

This is the one that you can gather the family around and say, this is that show I warned you about and then play it for them.

From everybody can have a good time listening because we're not going to swear.

So get your Mima, get your pop-pop, get Lil Mimaw, which is what I assume you call the baby, because she's little and wrinkled too.

She looks like Mimaw, right?

And it's like, oh, that baby.

Get baby Mima.

Get baby Mima.

Get big Mima.

Get medium Mima, your middlest Mima, all the Mima.

Unstack your Mimas of different sizes.

Yeah, open them up.

There's one Mima inside each Mima until you get down to a little egg and that's a baby meme inside the egg that's the life cycle

that's the meme of life cycle that's true uh 10 years ago we invented this holiday of candle nights that's my understanding what did we do the first four years

we just cursed up a storm

oh we were on that christmas creep if you were on the christmas creep and then we eventually invented our own holiday where the money is right yeah And we wanted to come to you.

I will say this.

If you didn't catch our video special, our candle nights annual candle nights special, you can still go to bit.ly forward slash candle nights tickets 2024 and watch it.

It's just five bucks.

And the folks at Army House could really use your donation.

They are the beneficiaries of all ticket sales this year.

And so, if you want to go watch that special, you can pledge five.

You can even kick in a few extra bucks if you want to be a real.

And there's merch.

We got merch.

There's candlelights posters, candle nights ornaments.

And like the special, imagine like you're hearing this, right?

And you're like, how could it get any better than this?

But then imagine just three silver foxes coming to you live.

And also dad's there.

So a fourth older, much creakier silver fox.

Sort of a white fox at this point.

A white fox, like a ghost.

Sounds like his Metal Gear Solid

agent code name.

Yeah, there you go.

Ghost, Old Fox.

And then

Dad dressed up as old snake name.

That would kick so much beep, dude.

Silver snake.

And we've got guests and there's segments.

And there's a, I will just say amazing.

My favorite, Justin, I loved you put in the work and did like four different segments.

Oh, yeah, I did a lot of segments Griffin at Winforth.

They got a DJ and Rachel Dancing

professional DJ and fly dancer.

So you can't beat that big.ly slash candle nights tickets 2024 I believe is the please go do that

and now we're gonna help you you're welcome The other day, my young nephew asked me if my 17-month-old daughter, quote, has gotten an elf on the shelf yet.

I said, not yet, but my husband and I have no interest in having an elf on the shelf or doing any of the work that goes its day-to-day lore.

Nor sorry, lore day-to-day.

I don't want to do the elf, but I also don't want to spoil anything for my nephews in regards to the magic of the holidays.

They live in an active elf home.

I feel I got away with this.

My kid is still very young, but I fear next year the same questions are posed.

Brothers, any advice on how to keep the magic alive, but not yet bring quite as much of it into my home via an elf?

That's from my shelves for books and knickknacks only.

You have control over the mythos in your home.

Sure.

You don't have much control over

much stuff in your home, but the mythos you do have control over.

If your kid comes and asks, you say, that's made up.

You say a lot of the, I know you probably think a lot of the stuff we do seems wild and out of pocket.

A man who can go through

ventilation into our home to give us

like some kind of solid snake?

Like some sort of solid silver white snake uh that's pretty far-fetched you can say no that one's real if you can believe it that one's real the elf that you can buy at walmart you can buy a he's in a box at walmart do you want me to show you the box the elf comes in you are pulling at a very delicate sweater my boys you're pulling at a real delicate sweater that's gonna raise a lot of questions that you may not feel so so jazzed about answering about what is and isn't real and may you may find it's a little easier just to buy the elf and let him live in your home let me offer this let me offer real elf by the way just to be clear the elf is real travis and griffin they're kidding let me offer this you tell your child that the elf is only assigned to kids who are kind of on the bubble And like Santa's keeping track, needs a closer eye on them for the naughty and nice list.

Right?

But if your fate's already decided one way or the other, no need for an elf.

We have an elf, we have an elf, and I would be comfortable telling my kids that they're kind of on the fence, they're on the bubble, yeah, they need a little extra, a little extra help to get them back on the straight and arrow.

I would say, and this is why screen time is so important.

I would simply load up their iPads to the Wikipedia article for the elf on the shelf.

If I may, this was a book and toy that came out in 2005.

This is not a, it's not, it's not even 20 years old yet.

Christmas tradition, this does not make.

I refuse to let this

tiny little embodiment of the police state into my home to watch my kids and have to be in all kinds of wild scenarios.

I'm climbing out of the blender today.

I think that's adorable when people who subscribe to Santa grouse about the police state

in relation to the Elf in the show.

That's different.

Santa's just a judgmental neighbor.

Santa's the man who's watching everything you do and deciding whether or not you get gifts.

You cannot draw this like, oh, I don't want some some space cop.

That's Santa.

But I don't get to choose.

To Griffin's point, I don't get to choose if my kids are

like know about Santa.

Yes.

Santa's omniscient, right?

There's nothing we can do about that.

Elf on the shelf infringes upon my Fourth Amendment rights in a direct and physical, tangible way.

I don't have to install a Santa simulacrum in my house to watch my kids.

I want you to know that if your adorable kids walk into my home and start talking a bunch of yay about Clarice and her relative realness,

I will hang your kids out to dry as the heretics that they are.

I will say they aren't kidding.

That's fair, Justin.

I get that.

Bad kids.

Here's all i.

I would load up on my kids' iPad every TikTok video I see related to Elf on the Shelf, which seems to be one of

the downloaded TikTok screen.

I don't know, but there's one of two.

They're always in one of two veins, which is one, looks like the elf destroyed your toy, ate your food cut up your pajamas what a jerk or two a child a younger sibling usually has touched the elf and now everyone's lives are ruined yeah it's hard to have kids for sure when it's

you're always touching touching things and screaming but sometimes you just got to get the elf and move them around you know i've never seen a single video of a child like going i love that this elf they're bad they're objective i want to know about the algo you're you're freaking surfing on dude where where you're getting elf on the snelf, elf on the shelf snuff films by snelf.

Just like TikTok.

Man, it's late at night.

I want to just see some kids touch elves and watch them perish.

My TikTok is like, oh, you like videos where it looks like the dog is having a conversation with this person and you love, oh, this toddler said a funny thing.

Cool.

Here's a child killing magic in their home.

Did you like that?

Why is it better than watching Travis kill magic when he looks at his dogs and says it's just a toy?

That's magic killing.

I didn't advocate for it's just a toy.

I advocated for on the bubble.

And the bubble.

Okay.

And that's not one of the real elves.

That's a store-bought.

But I see the color of your monitor flashing as you desperately search for the shit.

I was just reading the Wikipedia article for the elf on the shelf.

Frankly, my dudes.

If you give your kids Wikipedia access, you might as well move out.

That's a good point.

I'm not going to crack that open.

Yeah.

It's open.

I'm just saying, it seems like we could come up with a way, way cooler elf on the shelf that would then turn into its own sort of multimedia, like Uber franchise.

And the way we got a stuffed animal once, and it was an official elf on the shelf Saint Bernard.

And he came with his own book about how the elves on the shelves use these Saint Bernards to store up Christmas spirit so that they can use it when they, I guess, spy on the kids for Santa Claus later in the year.

And we didn't know what elf on the shelf.

Well, my kids didn't know what elf on the shelf was.

To them, this was like getting a battle cat without a He-Man knowledge.

And so that's their entry point into the series.

Well, you should, okay, what about this?

Hey, okay, parents, I'm going to do it for you.

You don't have to buy anything new, right?

What you're going to do is just every year, pick a different toy that already exists, and you're going to wire them up with a microphone.

Cool.

And you're going to tell your kids that there's a mole.

Santa's got a mole on the inside and you don't know which one it is.

And now it's, you got to find that mole.

Who's the confidential informant?

Who's narking on him?

You know what I mean?

And then it's like, oh, what's that?

Oh, Raggedy Ann is wearing a wire.

Right.

I don't know if the concern here was we're going to have to spend a bunch of money on

elves.

I think it's probably my concern would be I'm going to have to think of clever.

like situations for this little scamp to get into every day.

For me, that's the point pushing against it.

Because otherwise, you could just say, yeah, there's an elf on the shelf in our house now.

He's really lazy.

Really good at hiding.

He's the best in the shelf.

Really good.

I don't think you guys have fully appreciated one thing, that there is a good

three to four minutes every morning that my kids spend looking for the elf that they do not spend talking to me.

But how much time of your own private time did you spend looking like out of the bread box?

No, we've done that.

No, no, no, no, no.

Griffin, you're confused.

That's high, Justin.

That's his problem.

Also, I'm pretty sure the elf moves on its own, Griffin.

He's great at it.

He loves it.

Honestly, he loves the trick.

I'm curious what high Justin brings to this operation.

Yesterday, the elf was hanging upside down the lamp, and underneath where the elf was hanging, I put a pile of mini M ⁇ Ms.

And I said, Sid, does that read?

Because I'm not sure why.

Or, like, you think these fell out of his pockets.

I think you're right.

That's kind of what I was going for.

I was like, I spent a good two minutes, let's be fair, 90 seconds, trying to figure out how to suspend an M ⁇ M in midair to have like the effect.

Oh, cool.

You know, land

clue.

It's just a fun little tableau.

You know what?

I don't actually mind doing it because it makes my kids happy.

Oh, you don't have to talk to me.

Oh, right.

Okay.

You can't pivot from three to four minutes where my kids don't talk to me to you.

I do it because it makes my kids happy.

I contain multitudes.

My brother-in-law messaged me.

Letting me know what he got in my husband for Calendars.

It's not something he'd like at all to the point where I'm i'm not sure where he came up with the idea it's slightly more my speed gotta catch them all you know how it is but barely what is the best way to lie to my brother-in-law is to tell him the gift is fine without laying it on too thick he'll love it is so far beyond the truth that i can't bring myself to type it please brothers i've already pretended i haven't seen the message for like 15 minutes i can't go silent for too long that's from present panic in the palmetto state I will say this about parenthood.

This is one thing that it you got to confront pretty quickly.

because we get a lot of these texts i would say every year from multiple people yeah i'm gonna get uh henry here the complete works of william shakespeare don't do that

but griffin you just won't like that in there you hit the nail on the head first of all question asker you're not in the wrong because your brother-in-law texted you past tense i got this for them already That's where they messed up.

It's got to be.

All you can say is, oh, he'll love it.

Right.

He'll love it.

At that point, just say, oh, it sounds great.

Oh, he'll love it.

But that's why you tend to say, I'm thinking about getting this.

I'm going to get, this is what I'm looking at.

Yes.

Would they like this?

Because once they've made the purchase,

no, I'm not going to give you negative feedback at that point.

Yeah, of course not.

But you don't want to ruin Christmas.

Christmas is going to be ruined for one of these two people, the gift giver or the gift receiver, right?

Because if you get it.

Guys, we're all adults here.

The presents aren't even what it's about for me anymore.

Okay, it's the money, applause, please.

Just a little recognition that what I said was like pretty huge and pretty, like, cool, I thought.

Uh, it's not even about the presents for me anymore.

Um, but if I get a real stinker of a present,

thank you, Travis.

Thank you.

You're welcome, Griffin.

I thought I cussed and you were clapping to mark.

No, no, no, no.

That's why I didn't clap the first time, but then you seemed to really need it.

You needed it.

I did need it.

It's not even about

Christmas wig it's i'm kind of grown up now because for me it used to be about all the presents yeah okay so it's not now

religion but it's not about religion it's about i guess the time you spend with your family

opening presents

not even about that for me anymore but if i do get a real stinker of a present i'll be in a mood how could you get me how could you get me so how could you get i don't think that's true what you're saying i wouldn't be in a mood but you may be referenced i will say there is definitely uh historical reason to believe this that you will be made the butt of a joke for the rest of their lives yeah yeah i'll say this yeah i love especially if it's a real wild pull if it's like what i why would i want these like hummel figurines or whatever right that's gonna be referenced i i love our dad i think i'm on record saying that in a lot of places yeah i love you dad dad might see this or listen to this i love you dad yeah griffin has been clear about that since at least 2021 i'm sure he loves He touched on that.

COVID, I really did a lot of work to love him.

He fell in love with his dad.

I love my dad as of COVID.

But

one Christmas

within the last decade, so as an adult man,

dad

came up to me after the Christmas stuff was done and had another little present for me.

He's like, here,

this one's for you too.

I forgot to put it under the tree.

I was like, oh, okay, cool.

Thinking like, here we go, Red Ryder BB gun.

It's a Nintendo 64.

There's something a little special, something else that Santa sneaked away there.

And I opened it up, and it was a biography about Frank Sinatra.

Old blue.

Heck yeah.

Is it the way you wear your hat?

It's the, I guess, the way I wear my hat in my cool general.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

I thought you were saying, why did dad think that?

Do you wear your hat in an interesting and unique way?

I don't know.

I don't know how to say this more clearly.

I don't care about Frank Sinatra or that whole vibe at all i think it's so boring and i do not understand it i think he sucks and he's boring he's he's the snoopy of dudes and dad dad apropos of not i don't even like books especially not biography books about a dude i don't like yeah

dad we didn't have a ton of money growing up and a lot of times dad would have promotional items from the radio station that people would send for like review that would would end up as like well who is this the best suited for like you might end up with a season one of billy ray sorrows' dock on dvd for example yeah oh yeah i guess i do have a dvd player is a good call yeah that's a good fit the point of that story being that when we do reference like a way out of left way out of pocket present pick we do me and rachel do usually use a frank sinatra biography as shorthand for what that would be which is a gift which is a kind thing to give someone an an inside joke even if you are the butt of it i remember a year after Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl came out, which I saw in theaters nine times.

Was that the first one?

Yes, correct.

And dad got us all replica swords.

And if I remember correctly, you guys got, I don't know, like the sword of Gondor or like the bride's blade, you know, a Tori Hans.

I got the Buster sword, dude.

The Buster Sword.

And then I opened mine.

And it's like this four-foot long

broad sword where the hilt was a huge skull and crossbones and you could pull two of the bones out and they were daggers yeah and dad said you know like this is a replica of the sword from pirates of the caribbean yes that one was that was a good and it simply is not it it simply is not from pirates of the caribbean and also notable sword in pirates of the caribbean a beloved sword there is a sword Or two.

They use swords quite often.

None of them are like two-handed broadswords with a giant skull.

You'll see Orlando Bloom bring out Travis.

It did rule, but I was also in college in Oklahoma and I had to fly back and forth for school.

And I know that you can check some things in a bag.

I did not have a suitcase capable of checking a four-foot-long two-minute broadsword.

What I love about that story is it does cover both ends of the surprise out-of-pocket present Gambit, which is that me receiving the Buster Sword, that was a very good Christmas present.

That was a, that one hit real good.

I used that to cut up watermelon in my first apartment I lived in.

That thing wooed me.

I remember that.

That was good.

What's fun is if dad is listening to this right now, I know that that pirate sword big skull thing is hanging on the wall of his office.

And he's probably looking at it right now, maybe realizing for the first time that it is not a replica sword for Pirates of the Caribbean.

And in fact, just a giant pirate broadsword.

Yeah.

Hey,

do you guys remember when we found that sword behind the bushes?

I do.

Can I ask you about that?

I just think this is, you're about to like establish some deep, deep McElroy lore that I can't remember.

Okay, but

I'm trying to remember.

Okay.

I remember it.

Okay.

So we all remember that one day.

So in front of our house, our ancestral home on 10th Street in Hikes, West Virginia, there was row bushes outside the porch.

And one day we went behind the bushes, and that was a thing.

Going behind the bushes was an issue, right?

You had to really get back there.

It was a whole production.

You'd usually get poked by thorns.

So nobody wanted to go behind the bushes but one day we went behind the bushes and we found a

i would get i mean i know without knowing anything about swords like it looked like a civil war era saber correct that's exactly how i would describe it very beat up like the i remember the uh sheath was scabbard like the end of it was like broken off yes so here's what i want and so we for years

As you can imagine, being young boys, finding a sword behind some bushes, it's like incredible.

And we, for years, like we had this sword, we talked about it and wondered about it.

It is occurring to me now, Trav and Griff, talking through this,

dad definitely bought that sword and didn't want mom to know he 100,000%.

Guys, I'm 44 years old and I realized 20 minutes ago, dad definitely bought the sword.

He bought it like an antique store or a rummage sale or something and he put it behind the bushes as a fun little thing or because he didn't want mom to be mad at him as one of the two whoa a sword how weird i guess i should keep this in my way because he chose me hard disagree guys

i think a big civil war fight happened outside our house and i think a general from the year 1994 yeah no in the because it wasn't there when we moved and it wasn't when it was buried and it was just sitting there you don't know it wasn't buried buried and tectonic shifting pushed it upwards.

Oil.

We got a 3.3 earthquake here in Huntington this week.

It happens.

It unearths old Civil War swords every time that that happens.

There's a whole strata of them under the surface.

It doesn't take

up.

And so this sword, which does have magic properties,

was very real and a relic.

And I don't know where it is right now.

If it got thrown away, did it get thrown away?

Probably.

It was an old sword.

It was pretty beat up.

And it was definitely for for the union.

So don't ask.

So.

It was a magic union blade.

Hey, everybody, it's holiday season.

And you know what that means?

It means holiday specials.

Yeah.

And who makes the most beloved holiday specials?

Well, that's right.

Rankin' Bass.

But what you may not know, folks at home, Rankin' Bass

has a huge list.

of specials that they have made that you may not have heard of.

And so I would like to play a little game that I'm calling Rankin' Bass or Stankin.

And I have to say but here, but I think you can infer.

Rankin' Bass or Stankin' Butt.

I think you're able to infer.

I think that is basically...

You made everyone think a cuss, which is like, that's in some ways worse than unless they don't know it.

If they already know it, that's their fault.

If they think the cuss, it's on them.

I'm going to give you three titles.

One of them is an actual Rankin-Bass special.

And two of them I have made up.

This is inspired by, of course, Telly Title Tellers, which you may have seen on

Member of Family Clubhouse.

Okay.

First round.

I got four of these.

You ready?

Four rounds or four titles?

Four rounds, three titles each.

Okay.

For a total of 12.

Sure.

Just like there are months in the year.

Think about it, folks.

Sure, if you say so.

Sure.

All right, John Nash.

All right.

Willie Mays Hayes and the Say Hey Kid.

Hank Aaron and the Wind-Up Toy Boy.

Nolan Ryan and the cat with no name.

That's cool.

All those are cool, cool, cool.

This is wow, Trav.

I didn't think you...

I was expecting like you're without a santa claus or something um

give them one more time because you all i heard was just like names flying past okay willie maze and the say hey kid hank aaron and the wind up toy boy nolan ryan and the cat with no name

i gotta do i could probably say the wind up toy boy not the wind up toy boy no there's no way to say it that way it is i feel pretty strongly it's hank aaron and the wind up toy boy um that hits right

i think the say hey kid that seems so weird for me.

Willie Mays sounds like the oldest one and Rankin-Bass movies are pretty old.

What do you got, Jeff?

It is Willie Mays and the Say Hey Kid.

A guardian angel agrees to help Willie Mays win the National League pennant if Mays agrees to take care of Veronica, a lonely, mischievous orphan girl.

Veronica makes Mays' life difficult, but when relatives show up to claim her after hearing that she's inherited money, Mays' heart softens.

Wow.

Is this an animated film?

It is.

Cool.

It's the ABC Saturday superstar movie.

Okay, you ready for the next one?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The Fairy's Holiday Trove, The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold, or The Mermaid's First Christmas.

What was the first one again?

The Fairy's Holiday Trove.

And the second one again?

What was that?

The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold.

And go ahead and give me that third one one more time.

the mermaid's first christmas it's the first one i think the fairies holiday trove that's my guess

i think that that is i don't know trove just seems like a strange word for you to use yeah for sure i really like the leprechaun's christmas gold a lot

because i feel like there's a lot of story potential there so i'm gonna i'll pick that one griffin is correct

And I actually love this movie.

It's on a weird Rankin Bass collection we have that includes the Frank Albaum, the true story of Santa Claus, that includes him becoming immortal because a band of fairies gives him immortality.

But in the Leprechauns Christmas Gold,

a young Irish boy on a ship passing by an island realizes it's Christmas and he paddles a boat over to get a Christmas tree and then digging it up frees a banshee from her prison and she tries to steal Christmas gold and she's a shapeshifter and the only way to know is she's always crying and with the help of St.

Patrick Patrick, the leprechauns have to trick her into turning to liquid so they can replant a pine cone to trap her back under a Christmas tree.

This movie sounds lit, actually.

Rules.

It's so good.

It has some great songs in it.

But my favorite is the casting where Art Carney plays Barney Killarney.

And just saying it makes me so happy.

Yelza.

Okay, next one.

Tommy McBlunder and his Marvelous Wonder, Willie McBean and his Magic Machine, or Susie McCarville and her miraculous Marva.

Willie McBean sounds sounds

hits.

I'm nostalgic for Willie McBean, and I don't even know who he is.

But is that because you're thinking of Willie Beamish,

the Sega CD point-and-click adventure game?

I don't know.

I thought of that.

What do you think, Justin?

It's in your brother's heart somewhere.

I think it Say the name's one.

Tommy McBlunder.

Take your sunglasses off.

Just regular glasses.

I can't read it.

I can't read it.

Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder.

Willie McBean.

Hair down.

Glasses off.

Tommy McBlunder and his marvelous wonder.

Willie McBean and his magic machine.

Susie McCarville and her miraculous Marvel.

I'm going to say Susie McCarville and her miraculous Marvel.

The correct answer is Willie McBean and his magic machine.

The film tells the story of Willie McBean, a young schoolboy who teams up with an anthropomorphic monkey named Pablo to prevent the villainous professor Rasputin von Rotten from changing the history of the world using the newly created and duplicated magic time machine.

Magic time machine, man.

Yeah, I remember that.

That was good.

So right now, it's two to one, Griffin leading.

Okay.

It's sad at the end of that movie when Pablo gets pulled into the time fan, which is the sort of propulsive force on the machine, and his body's destroyed and scattered throughout history.

But there is one molecule of pablo in everything in everything we are all in everything we are all pablo breathe in that monkey breathe in that monkey's red juice okay here's the last one the godzilla show the ultraman show or the king kong show

i mean i think rank and bass did it

what was the

godzilla show the ultraman show or the king kong show i feel like rank and bass would have done

i feel like they would have gotten Japanese companies to do the first two properties.

To me, I feel like an American company would have gotten King Kong.

Or there might be an English company, by the way.

I would say King Kong.

I like Ultraman.

Me too.

Yeah.

I'll say him.

You'll say Ultraman.

Justin's correct.

It's going to tie it up.

We're ending here on a tie.

Everybody wins.

In this, the King Kong show, in this series, The Giant Ape befriends the Bond family, with whom he goes on various adventures.

Heck yeah, fighting monsters, robots, aliens, mad scientists, and other threats.

Unlike King Kong's destructive roles in this film,

the cartoon turned him into a protector of humanity.

Now, what's interesting, Justin, is you got the answer right, but for the wrong reason.

This was actually the first

anime made by a Japanese company for American audiences, teamed up with Rankin Bass, written by Rankin Bass, but animated in Japan and sent over here.

There were a lot of of those by the way they made several like kaiju style movies written by Rankin Bass but made in Japan.

In this one King Kong wanted to be a podiatrist and he had to leave Skull Island in order to.

Hey, did you know Rankin Bass made Thundercats?

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

But I also, I also never really cared to find out.

Okay, cool.

Fun energy.

I'm not saying that.

No, no, no, I'm not saying I resent what you just did for me.

I'm saying I personally would not have sought that information out.

I'm not mad that you've given it to me.

On that cheerful, high-energy note, we will take a break and find out.

I'm not saying the content's bad.

Happy bad, Justin.

I don't like being characterized.

Like I say, the content's bad.

I think the content is great.

We left the room.

Would I have done it?

Not on my own, no.

I'll tell you what you could do on your own, Griffin, and that's find a doctor.

Thanks to Zock Doc, right?

Yeah,

yeah.

I went on Zock Doc, and it's a shame that this is our candle nights episode because there's some ideas that are about to be expressed that may be challenging for young years.

But to get a special sterilization operation, I went on Zock Doc.

Do you guys understand what I mean?

And it wasn't mandatory.

This wasn't like a state enforcement.

Nor was it mandatory from, as a client, Zock Doc wasn't like, and also, if you could go use our service to find someone in order to use the service in order to use the service for us to pay we will pay you

we will pay

go ahead and say justin 25 bucks i don't think it's a good i don't think it's a good a good luck i don't think zock doc zock doc won't even make you get a surgery that you don't want to get that's true 100

no they're really flexible about that kind of thing they did genuinely help me find my number one dude at this point uh who did who did my vasectomy and just a really bang up job.

Really spectacular.

ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors.

Choose the right ones for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment.

That's what I did.

We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, gonad stuff.

Do you know what Henry?

I have to share this, guys.

Do you know what Henry refers to?

And he knows it's not right.

Like, he knows it's not a good thing to call your privacy something other than like the technical like terms we try to enforce that but he started calling it his gunky stuff and that's really terrific that's really terrific

when we say anything else at this point he's he's trying to get it started which i appreciate as a as a fellow content creator anyway uh so much more zoc doc appointments happen fast within 24

hours of booking for all your gunky stuff you can even score same day appointments stop putting off those doctors appointments go to zocdoc.com slash my brother to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today that's z-oc-d-oc-c dot com slash my brother zocdoc.com slash my brother you know what's coming up folks a new year

and it could be time for a new look

maybe change your lookup with stitch fix yes um sometimes man there's been stuff that stitch fix has sent me that if i were like just in a store shopping for myself yeah i don't even know if it would have caught my eye because because I would only be thinking about like the stuff I normally wear.

And then like I get that and I'm like, huh.

And I put it on and I'm like, yes, I would wear this every day.

Absolutely.

I'm H2T in Stitch Fix pickups for my last box today.

And it is

from a brand I have bought clothes from before, not through Stitch Fix.

And Stitch Fix was like, has me so dialed in that they're like, we know exactly what you like.

And they were right.

And that's because you work with a stylist, a personal stylist who's going to like take the things that you say you like to wear, your budget, your size, your style, all those things into consideration, pick out stuff just for you, no subscription required, send it to you, and then you can pick and choose which of those pieces you want to keep and only pay for the stuff you keep, or keep the whole box if it all works for you.

But you send back the rest, you only pay for what you keep.

It's an amazing service that we've all been using for years and years now.

Go sign up with Stitch Fix, try something new, make style easy.

Get started today at stitchfix.com slash brother.

That's stitchfix.com/slash brother.

A right down the middle, normal

candlelights advertisement.

It's a normal one for a change.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Lum.

I'm Caroline Roper.

And on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Hi, Brothers, McAroy.

This year for Christmas, I'm getting both of my parents some video games on the Switch we have in the house.

How far we've come.

I've already figured out the games.

The only issue is I bought them digitally, so there isn't actually anything I have for the video games to put on the tree.

Just saying, like, hey, I bought games, but you can't unwrap them, they're digital, feels awkward.

Any solutions will be appreciated.

That's from wrapping in wash shoe.

I mean, I personally would love for my kid to to hand me their homemade snipper clips box art.

I think I would.

That would really mean a lot to me if they made their own

snipper clips box.

Get a, you know, boring clothes box and just draw on it the game art and then wrap it up.

Yeah.

And then they're going to be really excited to get a little art from you.

That's way better than what I was going to say.

Oh, Travis, no, don't say that.

You don't know that.

I was going to say, find an empty box with like a cool present, but it's just the box.

And when you look at it, you're like, oh my God, you got me a cool.

And then they open.

It's just a note that's like, I got, I got you, Animal Crossing.

Yeah.

It's on you.

It's on your Switch already.

Of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's actually what you.

Yeah.

You encouraged me to say it after I admitted yours is better.

I shouldn't have made you say that.

I don't understand why you made me do that.

It wasn't very kind.

I had conceded.

You actually can't give anyone a digital gift.

I'm so sorry.

It's the one thing.

It's the only thing.

And I get it.

Like, holy crap.

It would be so much easier and better for everyone if we could just say like, and also

I bought you a digital copy of that movie you like so much and have it hit, but it it hasn't hit ever.

It's hard.

You just can't do it though.

I mean, it can be nice, but it's, you can't.

You can't do it because it's not, it's not real and they don't own it.

is the only other thing because license because you have you are being the gift i've given you is i have temporarily because of my money allowed you to watch rented you a license to play snipper gloves yes for now until this store goes belly up and then who knows who knows at that point well that's why you download it and then you take your whole thing off the grid yeah then they can't get it off

they can't take it back

i gave you i give you a fully jailbroken that's why i'm downloading all my tick tocks now i'm just going through and just downloading every tick tock i can while there's still time yeah and just saving them all then eventually i'll have my own offline tick tock and that's the leisure there would have been time now i can scroll through every TikTok till I reach.

I am not worried about the ban, you guys.

I will just get access to Travis's private stuff.

Yeah, man.

Travis's special stuff.

My TikTok is finite.

The only new TikToks, after all, I will be my own that I make.

Yeah.

Where I'm just going to take old TikToks and remake them in my own image.

Yeah.

There's not a digital gift you can give that's going to hit, but you could give a small gift.

Really, any anything, anything.

You could hand them a little capsule toy capsule and say, Merry Christmas.

Also, just the capsule also I got you digital snipper clips no there would need to be a toy or prize or present inside you give them a little here's a candle okay and also I got you snipper clips awesome you can't do either one of those on their own I got you a candle okay

turn on your TV there's snipper clips on it oh cool

together this is great you could have given them a thing that they liked but instead

you've given them a thing and also something they liked

you have tied the present you have tied the good present to a tangible object.

Yeah, so you've tied an idea that they have a concept.

Right.

The illumination

of the candle is secondary.

The value of the candle is its symbolic attachment to snippetly.

You do have to be careful, though, because sense memory is very strong.

And like everything I, every time I think about EverQuest, I immediately think of the Dave Matthews band album Crash, which I listened to on a boombox after getting it for Christmas while playing EverQuest.

Shoof, trash.

And now listen to.

Hold on, can I catch my breath from that story you just told about your childhood?

I need a minute to recover from what crashed into him.

Yeah, the two are inextricably linked in my mind.

Okay.

Everquest and Dave Matthews.

All right, cool.

Go on.

Cool life.

Thanks.

Thanks, brother.

Happy channel.

Thanks, TV.

I don't still do that, Griffin.

No, I have a cool part of your life.

I have friends and family now that I spend time with, and I've moved on.

That was me at like 15.

Yeah, so sad.

I know to think about.

No, what?

No, at the time, it was very cool.

Yeah,

sure.

Yeah, we're sufficiently bugged.

You did stuff, too.

We've all had periods we're not proud of.

Yeah, man, but I don't talk about it on our huge podcast, man.

Keep talking about it.

I guess I'm just more vulnerable and open to sharing who I am.

Yeah, I guess so.

I'm not ashamed of who I used to be.

I am.

I put him away.

He's gone.

I killed that Griffin.

I didn't kill him, but he sure ain't going to get talked about on this podcast.

Against my will.

No way.

Thanks.

Can't do a digital gift.

Yeah.

I want a munch.

Squad.

I want to munch.

Squad.

Squad.

Welcome to my squad's podcast with the podcast profile of the latest and grace of brand eating.

I thought here this late into the year, we'd be talking about the holidays, the Yule still.

And then look who strides into the room yesterday.

Oh, no.

Ready to get

just like absolutely upset the apple cart.

I'm going to open the image and I'll just like.

And I think that this one

speaks for itself.

There it is.

Wait.

Hold on.

Guys.

Hold on.

Taco Bell.

Nuggets.

Whoa.

Yeah, it's happening.

Whoa.

They've coupled nuggets with maybe the most unhinged press release I've read all year.

Can I just say, just

first blush, first look, what's wild to me, Justin?

They look like perfectly normal, maybe even above average nuggets.

Yeah.

Yeah, so let's hear about it.

There's no like weird taco five.

We wrap these.

Yeah, let's let him finish.

Oh, boy.

In a world where chicken nugget loyalty runs deep, Taco Bell is daring to push the boundaries of innovation yet again with the introduction of crispy chicken nuggets.

I appreciate that.

Can we just say, first of all, when you try to slip them in, they're like bites or

popcorn.

And it's a lineup of irresistible dipping sauces that's sure to challenge people's devotion to their typical favorites.

Oh my God.

They're going to lead me astray?

I'm listening to you.

They're going to cause me

to be a philanderer to my chicken nugget commitments.

If you're listening, Griffin, then let me let you hear this.

Entirely distinct, yet universally familiar.

The tender

all white meat chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor.

What?

That's weird.

Let's talk about that.

You don't have a spicy variant.

This is spicy, it sounds like.

That's weird, but listen.

The chicken bites are marinated in zesty jalapeno buttermilk flavor.

That shouldn't be a flavor.

No, it should be a jalapeno buttermilk.

It shouldn't be the essence of jalapeno buttermilk.

Those also seem like two things that would cancel one another out, right?

Like if I ate jalapenos and I had a spicy mouth and then I drank some milk, it would cool that down.

Well, though, what they've done, Travis, is they've also...

breaded with a blend of breadcrumbs and crunchy tortilla chips

to deliver the ideal balance of flavor and crisp that take the everyday chicken nugget to the next level.

I'm still here, man.

I haven't run for the tour.

I'm still here.

But it is important to me to know if they're spicy because there is the word jalapeno in there.

And if I told them spicy, if I took my kids, this feels like a weird prank to pull on my children, where I be like, you guys like chicken nuggets, right?

Here you go.

What's a nugget without an epic sauce pairing?

In its culinary journey to find the perfect complementary sauce, Taco Bell tested over 100 sauces to curate not one, but three irresistible dip pairings.

Introducing the exclusive new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch Sauce, a brand new signature Bell sauce, and a sweet and hot jalapeno honey mustard sauce.

You're not giving me a lot of safe road to walk here.

Yeah,

I'm so interested, but you are like, now that we've hooked you, do you want to eat poison, poison, or poison for your details?

The star of the trio, and which I don't think they should say this, but the star of the trio is the new Hidden Valley Fire Ranch sauce.

A fiery twist.

A Travis McElroy of sauces.

A fiery twist on America's favorite ranch inspired by the passion of Taco Bell and Hidden Valley Ranch fans.

More than just a sauce, it's a groundbreaking innovation that blends the iconic flavors fans love from both brands.

So words just don't mean anything anymore, huh?

Sauce and ranch area.

But you're throwing out groundbreaking innovation.

like it's like you just cured something or figured out how to reach the moon.

You ready?

Taylor Montgomery is going to lay it out for you like this.

Not to be disposed of for granted, but here's Taylor's read.

As the inventors of nacho fries, Taco Bell is fully aware that reinventing an American classic with a Taco Bell twist is a responsibility we don't take lightly.

Wow.

But in a world dominated by chicken cravings, it was time to show the world how Taco Bell does chicken nuggets.

Unexpected and undeniably bold, the Krispy Chicken Nuggets deliver a crispier, more flavorful nugget experience.

And combined with the Hidden Valley Fire Ranch sauce, we hope it will test people's devotion to their favorite nuggets.

I am moved.

by the passion and dedication shown in that.

Like that feels like a speech that like the president gives like climbing on top of the car to be like the aliens are coming and you know what it's time for taco bell to get into the chicken nugget game and i'm in it i'm moved but

when mcdonald's did bratwurst for a little while uh-huh and people would come in it probably wasn't like super confusing because the name of the restaurant isn't burger clown or hamburger clown Yeah.

But when people go to Taco Bell, they're going to be confused about this extremely not Taco or even Taco Ejection.

This is where I am really getting hung up now because

they sell the fries and they sell the chicken nuggets and they sell the pizza.

I'm worried that they're starting to lose touch with their like authentic Mexican foods.

Oh, no.

Yeah, man.

I mean, yeah, for sure.

You know, I think that's a feel of it.

There's a danger there for sure.

There is a danger.

Can I tell you what's tripping me up?

And

I have just realized, because it's been a long, long time since I've been to a Taco Bell or eaten Taco Bell.

Yeah.

Why?

Do you think that they have...

Why?

Just haven't.

There's not one near me.

Do you think

that there's ketchup available at Taco Bell?

Yes.

How confident are you in that?

Are you confident, Griffin?

That there's ketchup at Taco Bell?

Let me check.

Do they sell French fries they sell nacho fries remind me again remind me remind me again do they sell uh french fried taters nacho fries they have nacho fries okay well they then they'll have the ketchup for them

you seem

justin you look like you're googling this and i need you to confirm if you're googling this or not no don't dox my address to tell me where the closest don't send me taco bell i don't want any taco bell i'm just saying it's not that far trap you can just it's far enough

it's like you could get there.

I'm just demonstrating.

If it was next door, Justin, if I lived next to, if I lived inside of Taco Bell, I would go get some right now.

I'm at the pizza hut.

I'm at the Travis House.

I'm at the combination Taco Bell and Travis House.

I'm just trying to figure out if Taco Bell has ketchup.

Can we call Taco Bell?

Can we call timeout on the?

Yes, they have ketchup at Taco Bell.

I see a picture of it now next to the mild sauce and the fire sauce.

There's ketchup.

Say it with passion, Griffin.

There is ketchup at Taco Bell.

You can go to Taco Bell right now and get the nuggets.

So let us know what you think.

I want to know how spicy they are, like, if you're a child.

Like, imagine a child is eating it.

Right.

Yeah.

You can text Travis at.

No.

Okay.

Here, let's one more question.

Once a year, I do a Christmas show for some local theaters.

We dress up as characters and deliver a little pre-show before the movie, White Christmas.

We have someone who dresses as Santa, Mrs.

Claus, and Cousin Eddie.

I dress up as Yukon Cornelius, who's popular enough, but doesn't have the same depth as those other characters.

I'm also not great at improv, and I also find myself letting my fellow actors carry the performance when unexpected things happen.

How can I stand out of the crowd and deliver a memorable performance?

Well, some Cornelius incense.

This is so good.

Such a good question.

Thank you.

Thank you for this.

You are, I would love to pretend to be Yukon Cornelius for an hour.

I feel like improv-wise, it wouldn't be funny, but I would have the time of my life.

We need to establish who this is for the people who were not.

Oh, we love silver and gold from the Rankin Bass movie,

Rudolph.

Yeah.

Rudolph the Red Nose Red.

That's very good, Justin.

Here's the thing.

One thing you got to know about Yukon Cornelius, that's a haunted man.

Because what we don't talk about a lot is...

There were 12 of them when they started out on this track to find Galt.

He's the only one left.

What has he been through?

He falls off into a cliff with the bumble.

What happens down there?

We don't know.

So while everyone else is improving their scene, I want you to have just a dark backstory and have him stare off an empty-eyed.

It sounds like you're doing that already, which is great.

I just want to be Travis.

I hate to challenge what you're saying, but I did watch the film recently.

And we do know what Yukon Cornelius did once the bumble.

and he fell off.

Oh, that's right.

Yes.

What did he do?

He pulled his teeth out, Justin.

He pulled his teeth out, kids.

Yukon Cornelius removed the bumble's one method of feeding himself.

Really broke his spirit, too.

And then, and then get this.

Yukon Cornelius is like, you're never going to believe it, but bumbles are really easy to get along with and they want to help us.

I bet.

Yeah, we know.

I bet you do, Yukon.

It's a shame I didn't find that out before I pulled all his teeth out.

I still have my nails.

I don't want you to pull those out too, Yukon.

All of his teeth were flat like a cow's.

It turns out he's a believer.

He said, I only eat carrots.

And then he said, I'm only a carrot.

You couldn't understand him anymore.

Anyways, watch him put the star on the tree.

He got in my way.

He washed his food real good for him.

He got my way while I was trying to accumulate wealth.

I'm the good guy.

Wait, hold on.

Yukon Cornelius removed all of Bumble's teeth?

Wait, I can't believe he would do that.

when he knows the only dentist on the planet.

Yeah.

That's the other thing that's twisted about Yukon Cornelius.

He knows knows the one person that invented the idea of pulling teeth out.

Right.

And this guy doesn't even go to the bottom.

I want to see the deleted scene where after all it's done, Hermie's like, Yukon, can I talk to you over here for a minute?

Hey, man, what's that about?

Like, you know, I'm trying to set up a business here, trying to establish myself.

You couldn't float me some business my way.

You couldn't be like, hey, Hermie, show him how good you are.

Pull your teeth out.

You trying to step to my territory, man?

Pull your own teeth out, Hermie.

Come on, man.

Great dentist.

What are you doing?

Do you see me out there trying to mine up silver and gold?

No, I recognize that that's your thing.

This is my thing.

Come on, man.

Show some respect.

Yeah, so anyway, this is all really good stuff.

Just use these jokes.

Yeah, it's no problem.

Just between every sentence, just go, bumble!

It's shut up, boys.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I thought I saw a bumble.

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, when it gets dark and cold out there and you got to eat your fellow mine.

Sorry, what were you saying, cousin Eddie?

I said to sleep within a bumble carcass once.

You thought they smelled bad on the outside.

they smell wonderful on the inside i love doing it i do it when i don't need to i'm setting up an air and b and b inside a bumble

one of the bees is for bumble okay guys listen thanks for listening thanks for uh supporting us thanks for one more plug why i'm orphaned so many bumbles the candle lights plug is important bit.ly forward slash Candlelights Tickets 2024.

Please go do that if you haven't done it.

You can watch it until I don't know, first week of January.

January 4th.

Bit of a slower year on ticket sales.

And Harmony House genuinely really could use some help funds-wise.

So even if you're already streaming, if you want to hop back in there and kick in a few more bucks, that would be a killer.

Or if you had a great time and you have friends who you know would love it, tell them about it.

Share the link with people.

Make sure they check it out.

It's a great cause and a great show.

Make sure to share it with folks.

Also, want to let you know, Champions Grove 2025 packages are on sale now.

That's the immersive gaming event that I did last year.

Doing it again this year at Ravenwood Castle in Hawking Hills, Ohio.

Don't sleep on it.

It's really fun.

Thank you.

You can go to championsgrove.com for all the information and get your packages there to come and hang out with us May 23rd through the 26th.

It's going to be a great time.

Also, we got merch.

If you haven't checked it out, macrowaymerch.com,

including some candlelights merch over there.

10% of merch sales this month are also going to go to Harmony House.

So make sure you check that out.

Get your fungalore merch before the season ends.

We've also got a MIGGI merch bundle over there with a mug and a sticker for $25.

So go check it out.

Yep.

Oh, we should also say, reminder, there's not going to be any new episodes

the 24th through the 30th.

Or any of those.

Yeah.

So no, my brother, my brother, me next week.

No macro shows.

But we'll be back in the new year.

Yeah.

So this is our last wish of the year for fungalore.

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

I should have remembered to pull it.

Wow, you really didn't, did you?

I wish.

I wish.

This is from Griffin?

I wish.

You know what?

I wish for Fungalore

to get

Fungalore's wishes heard.

Wow.

Actually, Griffin, that would cause a feedback.

I set him free.

Fungalore,

we're listening to your wish now.

That's what you don't know about 20 Fungalore.

Is in 20 Fung Alive, he is going to actually need something from you this time.

Wow.

And saying that sentence out loud, I just realized I am going to be pushing for 20 Fung Alive.

And that's.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Well, that'll be a stirring way to return.

My name is Justin McRoy.

I'm Travis McRoy.

I'm Griffin.

He's been my brother, my brother, me.

Kiss your dad square on the lips.

Is that you?

My life.

It's better, it's better with you.

It's better.

My life,

it's better, it's better with you.

Cause it's true.

It's better, it's better with you.

My life,

it's better with you.

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