S1E11 - 'The Night Receptionist' REMASTERED
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Listen and follow along
Transcript
You know how everything's a subscription now?
Music, movies, even socks.
I swear of it.
To continue this ad, please upgrade to Premium Plus Platinum.
Uh, what?
No, anyway, Blue Apron.
This is a pay-per-listen ad.
Please confirm your billing.
Oh, that's annoying.
At least with the new Blue Apron, there's no subscription needed.
Get delicious meals delivered without the weekly plan.
Wait, no subscription?
Keep the flavor.
Ditch the subscription.
Get 20% off your first two orders with code APRON20.
Terms and conditions apply.
Visit blueapron.com/slash terms for more.
We get it.
It's more important than ever to get the most out of your money.
Options are key.
Options like Lyft, where you get great rewards, especially with partners like Dash Pass by DoorDash.
If you're a Dash Pass member, just link your DoorDash account and you'll get 5% off on-demand rides, 10% off scheduled rides to the airport, plus two free priority pickup upgrades every month.
New to Dash Pass?
To sign up for a three-month free trial, check Lyft.
Terms apply.
Mint is still $15 a month for premium wireless.
And if you haven't made the switch yet, here are 15 reasons why you should.
One, it's $15 a month.
Two, seriously, it's $15 a month.
Three, no big contracts.
Four, I use it.
Five, my mom uses it.
Are you playing me off?
That's what's happening, right?
Okay, give it a try at mintmobile.com/slash switch.
Upfront payment of $45 per three-month plan, $15 per month equivalent required.
New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available.
Taxes and fees extra.
See mintmobile.com.
Hey, I'm Paige DeSorbo, and I'm always thinking about underwear.
I'm Hannah Burner, and I'm also thinking about underwear, but I prefer full coverage.
I like to call them my granny panties.
Actually, I never think about underwear.
That's the magic of Tommy John.
Same, they're so light and so comfy, and if it's not comfortable, I'm not wearing it.
And the bras, soft, supportive, and actually breathable.
Yes, Lord knows the girls need to breathe.
Also, I need my PJs to breathe and be buttery soft and stretchy enough for my dramatic tossing and turning at night.
That's why I live in my Tommy John pajamas.
Plus, they're so cute because they fit perfectly.
Put yourself on to Tommy John.
Upgrade your drawer with Tommy John.
Save 25% for a limited time at tommyjohn.com slash comfort.
See site for details.
You know what's wild?
Most people are still overpaying for car insurance just because it's a pain to switch.
That's why there's Jerry.
Jerry's the only app that compares rates from over 50 insurers in minutes and helps you switch fast with no spam calls or hidden fees.
Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year.
Before you renew your car insurance policy, do yourself a favor.
Download the Jerry app or head to jerry.ai/slash Acast.
The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language.
Basically, all the good stuff.
Jamie, why are we here?
We're here because my dad's written a porno.
Your dad's written a porno.
Erotic literature.
Well, why?
Previously, on my dad wrote a porno.
Belinda was completely naked, and Peter was completely dressed.
We must look completely stupid, Peter explained.
He grabbed her cervix.
We just had good old-fashioned sex.
It's what we both wanted.
And when you get what you want, you feel great.
Simple ass.
I love it.
This is Belinda's mantra.
Hello, and welcome to yet another installment of My Dad Rotoporno.
I'm here with Alice.
Hello.
Hello.
And James.
Hi.
How are you both doing?
Good.
Thank God we're here because if we weren't here, you'd just be in a room on your own reading your dad's fantasies.
And there's nothing wrong with that, James.
Whatever passes an evening.
Indeed.
So last week we had Belinda and Peter getting down and dirty in a hotel room for once, thank God.
And once again, lest we forget it was the second time that day they'd had a little sesh.
They're obsessed with each other.
So we're on the third to last chapter.
I honestly can't believe that.
Third to last is such a thing Rocky would say.
We're on the third to penultimate chapter.
Doesn't make it any less mournful, though, does it?
Because it is all about to be over, which I'm quite weirdly upset about, despite it being my dad's porn.
So I should be grateful that it's about to be over, but I'm not.
Well, that's exactly why we couldn't just limit ourselves to one podcast a week.
So I don't know if you've noticed, we've introduced the footnotes, which come midweek, so that porno day doesn't seem so far away.
And that's just bits that we couldn't fit into the show.
Stuff that we think that you would like to know.
Yeah, a little bit more about Rocky, about his his mind, his process.
People want more porn.
People just cannot get enough, so let's give it to them.
Let's give the public what they want.
And I want to be that provider.
I don't know about you, Steve, but that's what I want my heritage to be.
Yeah, epitaph.
You know, when you look how your life's going to turn out, this is not what I saw for myself really.
This is what I saw for you.
That's weird.
Yeah.
I mean, it's certainly not what I saw for myself.
So, what is chapter 12 called?
Chapter 12 is called The Night Receptionist.
The Youngish Man.
The Youngish Man is about to make a reappearance.
Let's crack on.
Shall we?
My goodness.
Okay, so.
Belinda Blinked.
Chapter 12.
The Night Receptionist.
Belinda put on her riding jacket, jodpers, and leather boots, sat down in the corner chair, and slowly sipped the rest of her unfinished brandy.
Sure enough, five minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
Who's this?
What time is it?
It's like two in the morning.
Room service, madam.
Come in, please.
Did she order room service?
No.
I think it's one of those.
Oh.
It's like when people go, police, and then they've got a ghetto blaster and they're wearing like leather chaps and they're like, yeah, yeah.
Talking about a personal experience there.
I heard a friend say once.
Come in, please.
The youngish man on reception entered the room with a trolley on which sat the ice bucket with a full bottle of chili and chardonnay.
Her favourite.
Third bottle of the night i think yeah has she ordered this i'm a little bit i can't quite remember i don't think so we'll find out i love that the youngish man we probably won't find out alice it's a very important plot point we'll think about it forever i love that the youngish man still hasn't got a name do you think we'll ever know his name and also it just said the youngish man on reception well he can't be the youngest man on reception when he's not on reception then he's just the youngish man
The youngish man on reception
to give him his full title.
The youngish man on reception entered the room with a trolley on which sat the ice bucket filled with a bottle of chilli and chardonnay.
Beside it sat two rounds of what looked like turkey sandwiches.
How festive.
So specific about the meat as well.
Why wasn't it chicken?
It's so specific that it's turkey.
My dad loves turkey.
It's like his favourite meat.
It's not a traditional middle-of-the-night snack, though, is it?
A turkey sandwich.
Unless it's December the 26th, I can't think of another time I've ever raided the fridge for that.
Beside it sat two rounds of what look like turkey sandwiches, one of Belinda's many favourite late-night snacks.
Oh, there you go, you see.
You haven't lived.
Like Belinda, like Rocky.
My sincere apologies for the lateness of the hour, but the ice machine started to play up, madam.
Yes, she did order it.
And do you remember he said, I'll do it.
I'll
get more ice.
I'll punch the ice, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
How long ago was that?
Probably about five hours ago.
Efficiency.
Someone's not getting a tip.
Oh, I think he's about to get a huge tip.
Let's not beat beat around the bush.
They're definitely going to have sex, right?
I mean, he'll be beating around the bush.
Oh,
lovely.
Alice looked at me as if a little part of her inside just died.
I look at you that way every week.
This is true.
I like to think that you're not looking at me so much as Rocky Through Me.
100%.
Think of me as every person listening to this.
My sincere apologies for the lateness of the hour, but the ice machine started to play up, madam.
I'm sure it did, young man.
Don't apologise.
Your timing is appropriate.
Oh, God.
And I hope it's not the first time tonight it will be so.
Is she gonna go to bed?
Does she mean like as in don't be too quick?
Yeah, I think that's like his well to be fair, Peter Rouse.
She's clearly getting the disclaimer in early.
It took about 30 seconds for the receptionist to understand Belinda's remark, and he burst into a wide grin.
Another lull from Belinda there.
Is that hilarious?
I don't get any of her jokes.
I understand, madam.
Thank you.
With that, he shut the door, walked over to Belinda and kissed her on the lips.
Oh, my.
The lips?
That's quite sensual.
That comment that she made, if you hadn't have known that she'd been, like, shagging Peter all night, was quite cryptic.
So for him to like burst into a smile, as is the phrase, he's reading a lot into that.
That's quite a forward move to just go in and kiss her.
Yeah.
I quite like that.
From such a youngish man.
Can we do a quick tally?
I'd really be interested to know how many people Belinda has slept with today.
Ooh, good.
Today or throughout the book?
No, today.
Today.
Okay.
Just today.
Okay, well, it all started.
Alphonse was the first one, I think.
Yeah.
In the main.
That's true.
Alice,
you have raised your hand.
Oh, no, I'm tallying.
That's my one.
Oh, okay.
So, Alphonse, then it was Mr.
Jim Sterling, the vole, who can forget him.
Never be forgotten.
And then it was Peter.
Rouse, if you will.
Peter, yeah.
Correct.
Then it was the Duchess.
Nice.
Oh, the Duchess, yeah.
And then it was Peter again.
Okay, so.
And again.
And again, yeah.
Sorry, again, orgasmine because it was so exciting.
So four.
Do you know what?
We've been tiring her with a brush unit.
Four and a day.
Four in a day, Jamie.
Oh, yeah.
I'm not saying across a lifetime that that's, you know, promiscuous, but in a night.
And now she's about to hit five.
Well, we don't know that.
I've talked about a hundred times with a duchess.
So four.
Four actual human beings.
And to be fair, it seems like Peter Round is becoming like a life mate.
So it's almost monogamy with him.
Apart from his pesky wife.
Oh, true.
Pesky wife.
How dare she marry him 15 years ago and not anticipate that he'd shag Belinda in some kind of in.
So the receptionist boy would be number five, or is about to be number five, we think.
I think so.
And can you please refer to him by his proper title, The Youngish Man from Reception?
My apologies.
Belinda took his head in her left hand and returned the kiss with similar vigour.
Took the head.
It's almost like the...
Like the head on its side.
Took the head off the shoulders.
With vigour.
Similar vigour.
Similar vigour.
Similar vigour.
Comparable vigour.
Slam your buddy down and similar vigour.
I might call my firstborn similar vigour.
Similar vigour.
Similar vigour levine.
Brilliant there.
Oh my god, I love it.
He put his hands around her waist and pulled her body into his.
She could feel his cock throbbing with excitement as they drew closer.
What?
How did she feel that?
Oh, because their bodies are so close to each other.
Like a heart pounding.
Yeah.
Kind of in the groinal area.
Gross.
Throbbing with excitement, though, you're right.
It sounds like it's like wriggling around.
You know, like if you trapped a cat in a bag,
it doesn't sound like it's just going like, ooh, ooh.
It sounds like it's going like, woohoo.
Like it's wriggling all over, like, woo!
Where's that gone?
Like when you put like a stick behind a towel and you look like imaginary.
She could feel his cock throbbing with excitement as they drew closer, but she did feel a tad hungry after the two hours with Pizza.
Well, those turkey sandwiches just sitting there waiting.
A PSA from Instacart.
It's Sunday, 5 p.m.
You had a non-stop weekend.
You're running on empty, and so is your fridge.
You're in the trenches of the Sunday scaries.
You don't have it in you to go to the store.
But this is your reminder, you don't have to.
You can get everything you need delivered through Instacart so that you can get what you really need, more time to do whatever you want.
Instacart, for one less Sunday scary, we're here.
We get it.
It's more important than ever to get the most out of your money.
Options are key.
Options like Lyft, where you get great rewards, especially with partners like Dash Pass by DoorDash.
If you're a Dash Pass member, just link your DoorDash DoorDash account and you'll get 5% off on-demand rides, 10% off scheduled rides to the airport, plus two free priority pickup upgrades every month.
New to Dash Pass?
To sign up for a three-month free trial, check Lyft.
Terms apply.
Monday Sidekick, the AI agent that knows you and your business, thinks ahead and takes action.
Does it get anything?
Seriously.
Monday Sidekick, AI you'll love to use.
Start a free trial today on Monday.com.
Most people overpay for car insurance, not because they're careless, but because switching feels like too much hassle.
That's why there's Jerry, your proactive insurance assistant.
Jerry compares rates side by side from over 50 top insurers and helps you switch with ease.
Jerry even tracks market rates and alerts you when it's best to shop.
No spam calls, no hidden fees.
Drivers who save with Jerry could save over $1,300 a year.
Switch with confidence.
Download the Jerry app or visit jerry.ai/slash ACAST today.
If you're a smoker or vapor, ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason.
But with Zin nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.
Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand.
Plus, Zin offers a robust rewards program.
There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zin.
Check out zinn.com/slash find to find Zin at a store near you.
Warning, this product contains nicotine.
Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Slowly, she let him go and said, It would be a pity to waste such a good wine and these wonderful sandwiches.
Are you joking?
Well, that's a mood killer.
What a gutting rejection.
Like, I can feel the excitement of your pounding cock, but also, is that a club sandwich?
Shall we just...
It's like got cranberry sauce in it.
Lovely.
It would be a pity to waste such a good wine and these wonderful sandwiches.
Have you eaten tonight?
This is such a nana response.
Like literally like, oh, we better take those home, package that up, we'll have that as a picnic.
There's a loveless spread.
The buffet.
What a wonderful, wonderful selection.
There was cheese, there was sandwiches, turkey, touch of trifle.
It was lovely.
Is that an impression of your grandma?
That is what my nana says all the time, yeah.
Hi, Nana.
Can we use a pen name for my grandma, please?
Is there a Flintstone grandma?
Let me just see who the ones are.
Actually, isn't there
a woman?
Elizabeth Taylor player in the movie.
Yeah, who hates Fred.
Oh, yeah.
What's her name?
I couldn't have hoped for better.
Okay,
so.
Nana, I apologise in advance.
Okay,
Pearl Pebbles Slag Hoople.
Who's that?
That is the mother of Wilmer and mother-in-law of of Fred.
For real.
For real.
Sorry, say that again.
So Pearl Pebbles Slag Hoople.
Slag Hoopal.
That sounds like a little bit of a little bit of a little
bull in the blink.
It's unknown if Slag Hoopal is Pearl's name from a second marriage.
Is this on the Flintstones wiki?
This is, yeah.
That is amazing.
So
Pearl Pebbles Slag Hoople.
Pearl loves a good buffet.
And does she love a good turkey sandwich?
Oh, she loves it.
I like it when we discover maybe where the sources of things come from.
It would be a pity to waste such a good wine and these wonderful sandwiches.
Have you eaten tonight?
In actual fact, I haven't, he replied.
I tend to satisfy my sexual appetite first and then eat.
What, at work?
Subtle.
What a lad.
At work.
Has he just been masturbating himself in the back room?
Well, in that case, I think we'll break the rules just a little, here and now.
What as in eat first, shag later?
Yeah.
Isn't it the same as going for a swim?
Aren't you supposed to leave two hours?
Once I'm going to vomit vomit once they start
too vigorous, it is thrusting.
I'm pretty sure you should leave a window, but I think she always throws caution to the wind.
And it's so unlike Belinda to be putting off sex.
I know.
Maybe she doesn't like him.
What, and she hopes that they'll just eat and go into a bit of a food coma.
Yeah, and she's like, oh, do you know what?
Let's have sex in the morning.
He'd be like, oh, but I'm off work in the morning.
She's like, oh, sorry.
She gleefully shagged Jim Sterling.
I don't think she cares what they're like.
Gleefully?
Belinda reached over and took a sandwich.
At the same time, she unbuttoned the only single button of her riding jacket.
Multitasking again.
and double-user button.
Her breasts once again fell out.
Fell out.
And stayed on show while she finished a sandwich.
I imagine her licking her fingers.
Where would they go?
The youngish man took one as well and poured them both a glass of wine.
That's nice.
Gentlemanly for such a young chap.
He sat on the edge of the bed and announced, You can't beat the high life.
Doesn't get better than this.
Glass ceiling.
Oh, geez.
A glass of wine and a three-day-old turkey sandwich in the shittiest hotel in England.
Dream big.
You can't beat the high life.
Belinda laughed and toasted him with her half-empty glass.
He's just poured them a glass.
She's necking it.
All right, fair dudes.
One sandwich was enough for Belinda, and she removed the riding jacket.
She watched the instantaneous response in the youngish man's trousers oh god here we go again
squirrel in a the haystack or whatever it was squirrel in a haystack
that's as bad as in and out as like a doorman where are all these rodents coming from
i blame jim sterling oh quiet it started with it did start then and it's just been a deluge
she watched the instantaneous response in the youngish man's trousers and asked him to remove them he obliged could you remove those please because i've just seen an instantaneous reaction in your pants there's something crawling around in in there.
We need to see what it is.
I don't want to alarm you, but I think there might be some ants in your pants.
Oh, God, I hope it isn't ants.
You cannot get rid of ants once you've got them.
Honestly, or even a groin.
No, groin, probably.
Just kitchen, but do you know what?
I wouldn't be surprised if they're there as well.
Oh, Christ.
No, I mean, I hope it isn't ants, as in a small willy again.
Because Blender can't handle that.
That's not code for a small willy.
Ants.
Ant.
What?
Do people go...
It's got ants.
Never heard that.
It's got ants.
He's got ants.
Do you know Mark has got ants?
He's got an ants.
He's got what?
You don't have like a tiny penis.
He's got ants.
Is that what you thought ants in the pants meant?
A teeny willy.
A gathering of tiny penises.
It's just that.
Because this book just makes you think of inappropriate innuendo, doesn't it?
That's true.
We'll give you that.
He obliged, but also took off his shirt, pants, shoes, and socks.
Or he might as well.
If he's going to take off his trousers, he might as well get rid of everything.
Now standing naked before her, she called him over.
Belinda took his erect penis and gently rubbed the cold Chardonnay onto it.
Oh, why?
She's obsessed with using alcohol as some sort of lubricant, isn't she?
James is going to worry about it stinging any minute.
No, it's fine on the penis.
Oh, is it?
Okay, fine.
In fairness to the youngish man, he didn't flinch, and Belinda put his cock between her breasts.
What?
Weren't they both stood up?
Is he stood on the bed?
How low are her breasts?
How tall is the youngish man?
How tall is the youngest man how low are her breasts aren't they sat though no he was naked before stood naked before her yeah so maybe she's just sat down so that her breasts would be at the right height for his penis oh that's true maybe she's gone in that chair that she was sat in before right
Jane well someone has to he is my dad guys come on i don't think he takes rocky's side i feel like he takes belinda's side
i'm longing for the day that me and belinda can be really happy together
wow in fairness to the youngish man he didn't flinch, and Belinda put his cock between her breasts.
Using her two hands, she squeezed both breasts together tightly and started to masturbate his penis.
Oh.
For goodness sake, Rocky.
To be fair, we haven't had a titty wank yet, so it's only been a matter of time.
I don't like how he says that.
Using her two hands to...
Wait a sec.
Did she do it with similar vigour?
It doesn't specify.
But I'm sure she did.
She squeezed both breasts together tightly.
I like that what he's done is he thinks he's invented a titty wank.
So he's gone.
What she did is press the breast together, sandwiching the phallus between, and then moved up and down, masturbating the man.
It's like, yep, that's fine.
Just say, gave him a titty wank.
Well, don't.
Can we all stop saying titty wank, please?
I swear it's tit wank as well.
Yeah, it's not titty wank.
You mean a titty?
Is this week my week to have really inappropriate things to say?
Usually it's James.
I know.
Titty wank.
Titty wank.
Or tit wank, whatever.
Titty wank, tit wank.
Oh, just stop saying it.
Do you think tit wanks just one tit, and titty is both?
I'm surprised he didn't say tit wank.
He loves saying tit.
He does.
It's true.
I think you love saying it.
Yeah, Al, you love the word tit.
Oh my god, I love it.
I wouldn't deny it.
Blue tit?
Was it tit?
Titilla?
Titillation.
It only took half a minute for him to start groaning.
His hands fondled her long black hair, bringing it up to the top of her head and letting it fall time after time.
What's this going, whoop down, Whoop down.
I really thought he was going to do a hairdo then, like a maniac.
I got really excited.
Is it bad that I just want to know what his name is?
I'm not sure it's going to happen now.
I don't understand why Rocky's withholding it.
I mean, to be fair, actually, he might.
He could have just run out of names.
She might ask, actually.
Or he might just wait until the very last moment of the chapter and then get him to introduce himself as he leaves.
Of course, that is what he normally does.
Sorry.
He'll be like, okay, so bye, Belinda, said Jack.
Or, hi, Belinda, I'm Jack.
Bye.
as usually happens post-sex with Belinda.
It only took half a minute of him to start groaning.
His hands fondled her long black hair, bringing it up to the top of her head and letting it fall time after time.
However, to Belinda's surprise, he didn't ejaculate, and she guessed she'd have to work a bit harder to get the results.
It's only been 30 seconds.
Give the guy a chance.
I'm going to have to work harder.
Put some elbow grease into it, Belinda.
Glad I had that turkey sam, won't you?
For listeners, James actually did the tit wank mime there which is really unnecessary
and really bounced on his chair.
Stop doing it Pianta!
Awfully springy James, what about them?
Oh my god.
Why did I do that?
How many titty wanks have you given in your time?
However to Belinda's surprise he didn't ejaculate and she guessed she'd have to work a bit harder to get that result.
Would you mind removing my riding boots?
It enables me to pull down my jodpers, you see.
She keeps asking people to to take her boots off why can't she take her boots well they're not her boots are they so maybe she just wasn't really prepared maybe they're a bit tight and she hasn't bought a shoehorn i don't know lazy he nodded understanding immediately and helped pull off why wouldn't you understand very clear
not the sharpest tool in the box the youngest man yes miss belinda
do you think he's manuel yeah
it's like spanish if english is really his first language he nodded understanding immediately and helped pull them off belinda's legs and feet by now Belinda had lost count of the times she had pulled on or pulled off these riding boots in the past ten hours, but she thought they were getting more supple each time.
Who cares?
What the boots?
Boring.
Perhaps like her own body, she mused.
She did not muse that.
She did.
But it's getting more supple.
Yes.
Like stretched and soft.
It's getting drier and more ragged as the more like leather.
Things are going in and out far too frequently.
Oh, that's what you mean.
These cocks are already loosening up her vagina, I tell you.
Every day there's a new challenge to face.
So, meet Tremble, the technology company that connects your physical and digital worlds, allowing you to make decisions and take intelligent action to get the hard work done.
And the best part, you can do it all faster than you've ever thought possible.
Check them out at tremble.com.
You ready to turn data points into decision points or turn deadlines into finish lines?
How about turning possibilities into profits?
Then turn to Trimble.
Monday Sidekick, the AI agent that knows you and your business, thinks ahead and takes action.
Tell it anything.
Seriously.
Monday Sidekick, AI you'll love to use.
Start a free trial today on monday.com.
Ravish me, she commanded the young man.
Sorry, took me by surprise.
Said the turkey sandwich.
Oh my.
Ravish me, she commanded the youngish man, and he immediately removed her jodpers.
Is that how to ravish someone?
What does ravish mean in his book?
Undress, clearly.
Now naked, he followed the black line of pubic hair.
Would people stop following that black line?
It's going to end in disaster.
It's not the yellow brick road.
Certainly not.
It doesn't lead anywhere.
Nowhere in God does that that pubic line lead.
Now naked, he followed the black line of pubic hair to Belinda's vaginal region.
It's been in and out of so much and grown so large, it's now described as a region.
It's got its own postcode.
It's a continent.
Yeah, early with that.
I feel like two days ago, it was an area.
It's like a nature reserve.
No, it's a shire.
Is it like when they make an area a conservation area?
Like it starts to include more homes.
It's listed.
You can't build in it without permission.
Absolutely.
If you wanted to put PVC windows on that, you'd really have to check.
He got down on his knees, pushed her legs apart, and gently started probing her clitoris with his tongue.
Probing like a Mars shuttle or something.
An exploration.
Thankfully, gently.
Very gently.
Very gently.
Ever so sultry, the youngish man.
Too gently is a bit grim, though, isn't it?
Belinda, once again that evening groaned softly at the foreign invasion of her pubic area.
Wow.
Oh, God, the Nature Reserve's just been invaded.
Oh, my God.
By JCB's.
Summon the troops.
troops.
Alert the cervix.
There's foreign invasion.
What a weird metaphor to use for that scenario.
Foreign invasion.
It's like a game of risk.
It's like, you know, when the foreign office put out a warning of like areas not to go to,
I feel like this area should be on there.
It's certainly a dangerous area.
Not good for tourists.
Belinda once again that evening groaned softly at the foreign invasion of her pubic area.
But this time it was different, she thought.
This unexpected pleasure was for her and her only.
When was the other pleasure not for her and her only?
Well, I guess he's like, he's not really doing anything.
He can't buy any pots or pans, essentially.
Of course.
So all the other ones were kind of like business transactions, weren't they?
Ah, he's just there because he likes her.
Yeah.
And fancied a breaking a turkey sandwich, but still, all the pleasures for her.
A perfect way to end a busy working day.
She's finally going to bed.
This is, we're going to
literally close the chapter on this activity.
Also, quite the working day.
I mean, geez.
Yeah, she's not even said the busiest working day of her life.
That's just quite a busy day.
This is up there.
It's not number one, but it's up there.
It's a perfect way to end a busy working day.
No business deals, no reputations to be lost or offended.
Just a plain, simple fucking session.
That's nice, isn't it?
A happy ending.
Sleep tight, everyone.
And that is the end of chapter 12.
That's nice.
I feel good after that.
It was nice.
Excuse me.
Of all the words.
Nice.
I just feel like, you want to take the book home, James?
It just ended like
the English man home.
The way he probes.
Foreign innovation.
No, I just mean, you know,
it sounds like she's going to go to sleep after that.
And the day's ended.
She'll have some rest, which is important because God knows what she's got tomorrow.
Actually, what does she have tomorrow?
What's the next chapter?
What is the next chapter?
It's a very good question.
The next chapter.
Oh, oh.
What?
Uh-oh.
Now, this chapter heading eludes the fact that this book has a plot, which obviously it doesn't, but it's called The Duchess Comes Clean.
What?
Oh, my God.
Comes clean.
No, come C-O-M-E-S.
Okay, for you.
Comes clean.
She is a man, because we thought, like, we thought that that was all a ruse.
Oh, yeah, because she was, what was it?
Well-endowed.
Well-endowed.
Well hung or something.
No, well endowed.
She was well hung.
He says breast hang all the time, so I wouldn't be surprised if he said well hung.
So right, so the Duchess comes clean.
Well, a lot of people online have been saying that they want a return of the Duchess, so I think this is going to go down well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wonder what she's going to come cleaning about.
I can't think.
What she was doing for that half an hour while Belinda was in the horse box.
Intriguing.
It is intriguing.
So you'll have to come back next week, guys, to find out what happened.
I'm genuinely really
just confused.
I really don't know where this is going to go now.
No.
Well, I feel like there's suddenly an injection of plot, or at least purpose, in the writing.
Obviously, we're getting near the end.
Do you think Rocky's going to finish this book on a cliffhanger?
I didn't think he was capable of such things.
Well, he leaves many sentences on a cliffhanger.
So, why not the book?
That's the only way he knows.
That'd be great if the end of book one was like, oh my god, what is going to happen next?
That'd be amazing.
A game changer.
Is that like when people do trilogies for films and you kind of always feel like they've not wrapped stuff up because you're going to come back for the next story?
Right, right, right.
Because we don't know where this is going to go, we don't know where the stories, don't call it story, is going to end up,
we thought we'd love to learn more because I'm going to be bereft when this is over.
So, what we thought we'd do as a kind of treat for us, but a treat for all of you guys as well, is Christmas Day, have a very, very special edition of my Dive Roto Porno.
We want your questions for Rocky.
I feel like, like, looking online, people have a lot of things they want to ask him.
I certainly need answers.
So, yeah, we're going to put some of the probing questions of this series to him in a special edition.
So, anything that you want to ask about the book, about Rocky, about the characters, maybe about book two, maybe about his other writing projects, anything basically.
Why the hell he wanted to write this in the first place?
I think it's a very good question and one to start with.
Certainly one that I want to know the answer to.
Will he stop?
I think is another good question.
So, yeah, all you need to do is send your questions either to our Twitter at Dad Rotoporno.
You can send them to our special email address.
Oh, myDadRotaporno at gmail.com, no expense spared.
Notice I don't know any of these addresses, so I just lead into James.
Or on Facebook, which is just my dad wrote a porno.
Just search that.
Nice and simple.
Really simple.
Or just ring Rocky Direct.
0798 joking.
How great would that be then?
69, 69, 69, 69.
The shape of a naked lady.
Or you could record an Insta video.
Just
how modern of you.
Thank you very much.
You're such a modern man.
That is a great idea.
It'd be nice to get some audio questions.
Yeah, just like record yourselves, asking a question, then tag us into it on Instagram, which is at MyDadWrote A.
There's no porno.
It ends like one of Rocky's sentences midway through.
So it's been a pleasure for Belinda.
A pleasure just for her and her alone.
And thanks for listening, everybody.
See you next week.
Turkey sandwiches, guys.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Chilly and Jean, nay.
I want that buffet.
Wait, wait, wait, guys.
Sorry, if any of you are still listening,
there's been a lot of talk recently.
I made a mistake, hands up, and I should admit to it.
I was foolish enough to suggest that Rocky was wrong.
And in fact, it was me who was wrong.
I said that the last chapter, which was titled Sunday night, 11.55pm, was factually incorrect.
And I thought it was actually Saturday night.
It was Sunday night.
I feel a fool.
And I can only apologize to all the listeners.
and to Rocky.
I know this is at the end of the podcast, so like the sun, I have kind of buried this on page 54, but technically this is an apology, so you can't see me, okay?
Take control of the numbers and supercharge your small business with Xero.
That's X-E-R-O.
With our easy-to-use accounting software with automation and reporting features, you'll spend less time on manual tasks and more time understanding how your business is doing.
87% of surveyed U.S.
customers agree Xero helps improve financial visibility.
Search Zero with an X or visit zero.com slash ACAST to start your 30-day free trial.
Conditions apply.
We get it.
It's more important than ever to get the most out of your money.
Options are key.
Options like Lyft, where you get great rewards, especially with partners like Dash Pass by DoorDash.
If you're a Dash Pass member, just link your DoorDash account and you'll get 5% off on-demand rides, 10% off scheduled rides to the airport, plus two free priority pickup upgrades every month.
New to Dash Pass?
To sign up for a three-month free trial, check Lyft.
Terms apply.