MFM Minisode 427

Speaker 1 This is exactly right.

Speaker 2 This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's talk holiday shopping.

Speaker 5 From now through December 8th, you can get 20% cash back when you pay in four with PayPal.

Speaker 8 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 11 This limited time offer is perfect for the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals you've been eyeing.

Speaker 13 Save the offer in the app now.

Speaker 17 So, whether you're buying tickets to an improv show or a whodunit board game, PayPal helps you make the most of your money this holiday.

Speaker 19 Expires December 8th. See paypal.com slash promo terms subject to approval.

Speaker 23 Learn more at paypal.com slash payin4, PayPal Inc., NMLS 910457.

Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 27 Hey guys, did you know that you can order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats?

Speaker 29 Yeah, that Home Depot, really.

Speaker 5 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 31 Right now, you can get $30 off $70 or more when you order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 28 So if you're in the middle of a project and realize you're out of light bulbs, glue, or that one tool you swore you had, don't stop what you're doing.

Speaker 39 You can get your home improvement essentials delivered in as little as 25 minutes.

Speaker 41 No waiting on shipping, no last-minute store runs.

Speaker 30 Just tap and get back to work.

Speaker 42 So stock up on DIY essentials, holiday decor, small appliances, or household must-haves like cleaning supplies and trash bags, all without leaving your project behind.

Speaker 32 Order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 44 And December 31st, exclusions may apply.

Speaker 45 Terms and minimum order apply.

Speaker 46 See at for details.

Speaker 26 Goodbye.

Speaker 41 No one brings out your inner monster like a bad neighbor.

Speaker 48 Claire Danes and Matthew Reese find that out for themselves in The Beast in Me, a new eight-episode drama from the team that brought you homeland.

Speaker 50 Danes plays Aggie Wiggs, a grieving writer.

Speaker 52 Reese plays Niall Jarvis, her new neighbor and possible murderer.

Speaker 54 But who's the monster and who's the bad neighbor?

Speaker 2 That's another story.

Speaker 48 It's a game of cat and mouse that sets them on a collision course with fatal consequences.

Speaker 24 The Beast in Me, now playing only on Netflix.

Speaker 55 You will not want to miss this.

Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 26 Hello.

Speaker 26 And welcome to my favorite murder, the mini-sode, where we read you your stories.

Speaker 57 Would you like to go first?

Speaker 26 Sure.

Speaker 14 I got a fucking classic hometown here.

Speaker 3 Amazing.

Speaker 58 This one's called My Dad Ate Browns Chicken in Valentine, Illinois, the night of January 8th, 1993. He knew four of the victims.

Speaker 44 Wow. And this is, of course, the Browns chicken massacre case that I covered in episode 263, which is what I'm talking about, where seven people were murdered.

Speaker 47 Okay.

Speaker 62 Dear beloved MFM gang, For the many years I've listened to your show, I've pondered what could I possibly share while overlooking my most obvious connection to a famous massacre.

Speaker 50 It dawned on me while visiting my hometown of Chicago last week, and I passed a Browns chicken and pasta.

Speaker 64 Here is my moment of glory.

Speaker 59 I'm proud to say that my dad is an immigrant and doctor who worked unbelievably hard to establish his own medical practice in the late 80s in the quiet northwest suburb of Palantine, Illinois.

Speaker 59 My dad's practice was located just behind a Browns chicken.

Speaker 65 My dad didn't like the Browns chicken because the building blocked the street view of his office, typical mentality of my business sappy father, but he loved fatty, crispy chicken.

Speaker 58 In time, he became friends with the owners, Richard and Lynn Ellenfeldt.

Speaker 55 My dad regularly ate at his friend's business, and Friday, January 8th, 1993, was no exception.

Speaker 68 My dad decided to stay late to catch up on work, but dinner presented a dilemma.

Speaker 51 His New Year's resolution was to cut back on greasy food.

Speaker 63 After his business closed at 7 p.m.

Speaker 51 and his staff left, my dad said, fuck it, and he walked over to Brown's Chicken across the parking lot to buy two pieces of classic leg and thigh with the, quote, extra greasy cornbread along with equally greasy mashed potatoes, as he puts it.

Speaker 47 Sounds amazing.

Speaker 51 He chatted with Richard for a bit before returning to his office with his fried chicken.

Speaker 61 That night, he worked in his personal office located in the back of the unit.

Speaker 51 He ate his dinner, did his work until about 10 p.m., and left from the rear door that opened into the alley behind the office, not knowing what was happening less than 250 feet away from him.

Speaker 59 The next morning, he found his office surrounded by yellow tape, police, and news station bands.

Speaker 59 To this day, my dad is still disturbed from the moment he learned that his friend and his wife, Richard and Lynn, were brutally murdered as he sat working in his office the night prior.

Speaker 60 My dad doesn't recall hearing anything that night.

Speaker 65 My dad also knew the two high school students who were killed, Michael C. Castro and Rico L.

Speaker 68 Solis, because he was their doctor and did their annual school physicals.

Speaker 38 Oh, it's heartbreaking.

Speaker 14 I know.

Speaker 59 The following Monday, he went out and bought his first gun and never felt safe in that office again.

Speaker 55 In the months that followed, my dad saw his business plainly in the background of local and national news covering the story.

Speaker 19 The Browns chicken that once blocked the view of my dad's office was the source of free advertising on a level that he did not want.

Speaker 59 Unfortunately, 25 years later, my dad was the victim of an attempted murder by a family member.

Speaker 51 Then it says that's another longer story.

Speaker 38 I mean, yes, it is.

Speaker 26 And you should write it.

Speaker 59 My dad survived by the skin of his teeth, and I'm so grateful he's still alive to recount this story and many others.

Speaker 59 I often think about what my life could have been like if he didn't survive, and all the light, love, memories, and stories that would have vanished with him.

Speaker 59 I admire your work of bringing life back to the people we have wrongfully lost because the families of the victims deserve it and they deserve to know others stand with them in their loss.

Speaker 59 I'm grateful I'm not one of them, but my heart is with anyone affected by senseless acts of violence.

Speaker 64 Stay sexy and don't follow your New Year's resolutions if it means you get to see your friends less.

Speaker 21 Love Olivia. God, Olivia.

Speaker 69 Like,

Speaker 70 what a story and what a thing for your dad to go through.

Speaker 4 That alone, separate from the other details, but just like an immigrant that comes to this country becomes a doctor, builds a business,

Speaker 74 makes friends in his community, is part of the community, and then this happens to the community.

Speaker 41 Devastating.

Speaker 70 Unbelievable.

Speaker 7 All right. Well, this episode is airing on St.

Speaker 18 Patrick's Day.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 69 So here's a little left turn email,

Speaker 38 and this subject line of it is a St.

Speaker 22 Patrick's Day prank gone wrong.

Speaker 7 Now, I'm not sure who people are out there that are pranking people on St.

Speaker 70 Patrick's Day, the ones who cannot wait for April Fools or what?

Speaker 26 That's a thing.

Speaker 70 I don't.

Speaker 74 Or is it just kind of...

Speaker 47 friends being dicks to each other because they can but I don't know I guess I could see like a little leprechaun being a prankster that makes sense well I think they're just greedy I mean I don't know where why we're trying to fold in other okay let me just read this email.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 74 Top of the morning to you, lassies.

Speaker 18 I'm writing in as a day two listener.

Speaker 32 My friend, Christina with a K heard you on day one and raved about you.

Speaker 2 Of course, I had to check out the podcast, and I've been a loyal listener ever since.

Speaker 74 Now, here's my story of questionable parenting.

Speaker 78 For years, I've had a tradition of setting my voicemail message as a leprechaun looking for a scold.

Speaker 26 I'm so sorry. What?

Speaker 80 Wait, what?

Speaker 81 I forgot about this, and this used to be such a big part of everyone's life, is what was your outgoing message going to be?

Speaker 38 And right?

Speaker 82 And it was kind of like what you were about, and you definitely wanted people to see you in a certain way.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 83 So this person's saying, for years, I've had a tradition of setting my voicemail message as a leprechaun looking for his gold on St.

Speaker 38 Patrick's Day.

Speaker 58 What a fun way to be creative.

Speaker 84 I think mine is like the robot right now.

Speaker 66 It's so boring. Yeah.

Speaker 72 Well, I think it's because the trend is out where it's like people don't really call each other as much anymore.

Speaker 75 Right.

Speaker 38 It used to be a really big deal. Okay.

Speaker 72 One particular year, I decided to take it a step further and play a little prank on my kids who were six and eight at the time.

Speaker 25 I called my home phone and left a message in my best leprechaun voice.

Speaker 38 Oh, now I have to do a leprechaun.

Speaker 80 You have to do it.

Speaker 74 Tis known you have me gold and I'll be sneaking in tonight to find your treasures you stole from me.

Speaker 38 Wow.

Speaker 85 Yes, I'm so glad they didn't give this to me.

Speaker 84 The powers that be did not pick this one and give it to me because I would have ruined that and that was perfect.

Speaker 86 Thank you kindly.

Speaker 57 So they say, I thought it was hilarious.

Speaker 38 That evening during supper, I played the message for the kids.

Speaker 81 My daughter had a friend staying for a sleepover and I really sold it, acting surprised and saying, a leprechaun?

Speaker 57 He thinks we have his gold.

Speaker 2 To make it even more fun, I suggested we build a leprechaun trap after dinner using sticks in a cardboard box.

Speaker 49 At first, it all seemed fine.

Speaker 7 The kids went along with the idea.

Speaker 41 But then then bedtime came.

Speaker 74 My daughter and her friend came into the living room crying.

Speaker 2 They were absolutely terrified that the leprechaun was coming for them.

Speaker 86 The friend was so scared that she called her mother and wanted to go home.

Speaker 63 Oh, it was so embarrassing as a parent.

Speaker 86 When I got on the phone to explain it was just a joke, neither the mother nor my husband found it funny. She has not a friend in the room.

Speaker 57 No, divorce.

Speaker 30 Except that little leprechaun.

Speaker 2 To this day, my daughter and son remind me of how I traumatized them, insisting it was not a cool thing to do.

Speaker 72 Of course, I still find it hilarious, and I continue to leave my annual leprechaun voicemail message every St.

Speaker 73 Patrick's Day, wishing you all a happy and mischievous St.

Speaker 72 Patrick's Day.

Speaker 7 Paula.

Speaker 80 Paula.

Speaker 58 Just the thought of them, like my mom, if she were a prankster, how bad that would suck.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 66 You know, it's like a new level of trauma, I feel like.

Speaker 76 I had a cousin and he now does it to his daughters, which makes me laugh.

Speaker 38 But I know I felt very differently when he was pranking, quote unquote, which is just outright abusing us during the 70s.

Speaker 1 But he still does stuff. Like he goes out, if he's going out to the car to get something and then he knows his daughter is coming behind, he'll hide behind a bush and then just jump out with them.

Speaker 57 He does lots of that kind of stuff.

Speaker 18 And I know it's because he's like, I want you to get ready for the world.

Speaker 45 Right.

Speaker 65 Don't trust anyone, especially not your parents.

Speaker 21 Like start at home.

Speaker 66 Yes. Not trusting anyone.

Speaker 82 If you step out into a dark driveway in the middle of the the country, you better start wondering who's hiding behind a bush.

Speaker 58 It's on you if you don't. Yeah.

Speaker 2 This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's talk holiday shopping.

Speaker 5 From now through December 8th, you can get 20% cash back when you pay in four with PayPal.

Speaker 8 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 11 This limited time offer is perfect for the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals you've been eyeing.

Speaker 13 Save the offer in the app now.

Speaker 17 So whether you're buying tickets to an improv show or a whodunit board game, PayPal helps you make the most of your money this holiday.

Speaker 19 Expires December 8th. See paypal.com slash promo terms subject to approval.

Speaker 23 Learn more at paypal.com slash payin4, PayPal Inc., NMLS 910457.

Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 27 Hey guys, did you know that you can order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats?

Speaker 29 Yeah, that Home Depot, really.

Speaker 5 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 31 Right now, you can get $30 off $70 or more when you order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 28 So if you're in the middle of a project and realize you're out of light bulbs, glue, or that one tool you swore you had, don't stop what you're doing.

Speaker 39 You can get your home improvement essentials delivered in as little as 25 minutes.

Speaker 41 No waiting on shipping, no last-minute store runs.

Speaker 30 Just tap and get back to work.

Speaker 42 So stock up on DIY essentials, holiday decor, small appliances, or household must-haves like cleaning supplies and trash bags, all without leaving your project behind.

Speaker 32 Order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 45 And it December 31st, exclusions may apply. Terms and minimum order apply.

Speaker 46 See at for details. Goodbye.

Speaker 26 Bye-bye.

Speaker 51 This is called laughing when you're not supposed to at a funeral.

Speaker 65 Hey, gals, just listen to the episode where you talk about laughing so hard when you aren't supposed to.

Speaker 26 Our favorite?

Speaker 65 I had to tell you this story.

Speaker 58 My sweet and perfect Mormon grandmother, Joan, died at the age of 93 a couple years ago.

Speaker 51 Her only living sibling, Barbara, died back in 2020.

Speaker 63 It was COVID time, so instead of burying her sister, we had her cremated with a plan to let her rest with my grandmother when the time came.

Speaker 58 In talking with the funeral home, when my grandmother died, we asked if we could just put my great aunt's cremains in with her sister.

Speaker 64 They were going to bury the grandma.

Speaker 65 The cremains hadn't been buried yet.

Speaker 56 They vehemently said, no, not unless we pay the, quote, paperwork and fees to the tune of over 6K.

Speaker 59 And that says, pretty sure in today's money, that's got to be at least 9K inflation.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 58 We declined just to put them together.

Speaker 76 Well, but they're like basically like, oh, no, no, that's a whole separate bunch of charges that we we are not collapsing into one charge.

Speaker 21 So there's no two for one.

Speaker 26 Right. Here.
At a funeral.

Speaker 66 The morning of my grandmother's burial, we all gathered.

Speaker 63 Plan was to walk across the cemetery together to her grave site behind the hearse.

Speaker 68 We all had roses to place on her casket.

Speaker 64 My grandmother's favorite animal was birds of prey, like owls.

Speaker 59 So I gave an owl stuffy to my six-year-old niece to drop in her grave with her casket.

Speaker 67 She hugged it all the way to the grave.

Speaker 21 And when it was time, she dropped it on top of her casket.

Speaker 59 It made a loud thud.

Speaker 14 I was trying desperately not to laugh and refused to make eye contact with my aunts, sisters, and mother because I knew we'd all die of laughter at this inappropriate time.

Speaker 84 This is because the night before, I de-stuffed the owl, took my great aunt Barbara's cremains and placed them into the stuffed owl and sewed it back up.

Speaker 1 Hell yes, you did.

Speaker 15 Cheers.

Speaker 13 Stay sexy and don't let the funeral home's charges keep you from letting your family rest together.

Speaker 67 And should I say her name? I feel like I don't want to out her.

Speaker 84 But, but oh well, Megan, she her.

Speaker 74 Megan, Megan signed her name.

Speaker 73 She's like, you know what? Come for me.

Speaker 78 Come for me.

Speaker 38 She's already down there and buried. Yeah.
That's brilliant.

Speaker 67 I know. I love it.

Speaker 77 Breaking rules that don't belong.

Speaker 49 Yeah, the rules that are rules just so they can charge you fees and get a cut is like, well, then you get now.

Speaker 72 We're all, we all get to try to rip each other off.

Speaker 82 If that's what your standing rule is, I have rules too.

Speaker 51 Yeah, the rule is you're trying to get me, like, get me.

Speaker 67 So then I'm going to follow your rules and try to get you.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 57 I'm going to get you.

Speaker 53 amen okay uh let's see oh this is a classic hometown and it says coming too close to a murderer is the subject line hi ladies i've got a classic hometown for you this story comes from my mom who has told it over the years and it gives me chills every single time the first few years of my life my family lived in a small town outside of albany new york early one morning my dad left for work and my mom decided to take her cup of coffee and her youngest cute little baby me out onto the front porch my older brother and sister were sleeping inside.

Speaker 78 As she sat rocking me and enjoying the quiet morning, something caught her attention.

Speaker 24 She watched as a man she didn't recognize emerge from the house across the street and walk up the driveway.

Speaker 1 As he reached the sidewalk, he stopped and noticed that she was watching and the two made eye contact. My mom got instant bad vibes.

Speaker 1 He just stood for another moment as my mom busied herself with adjusting me in her lap and generally avoiding looking in his direction.

Speaker 40 He finally moved down the road.

Speaker 1 What my mom didn't realize at the time is that she had just witnessed this man leaving the scene after brutally murdering our neighbor.

Speaker 26 Holy fuck.

Speaker 75 Yeah, here's what happened.

Speaker 70 The previous evening, a young woman who lived across the street had a small party at her home. About an hour after all her guests had left, one man returned to rape and kill her.

Speaker 74 After assaulting her, he dragged her to the cellar.

Speaker 62 where he used a wooden footstool to bludgeon her and

Speaker 15 slit her throat.

Speaker 47 Oh my God.

Speaker 7 Thankfully, the man was arrested pretty quickly after her body was discovered.

Speaker 18 My mom helped identify him, but has said the whole situation was incredibly scary and traumatic.

Speaker 15 Of course. Yeah.

Speaker 72 After being seen, he could have very easily decided to walk across the street to get rid of the witness.

Speaker 78 That's something my mom has thought about many times.

Speaker 14 Definitely.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 18 So there's my hometown story.

Speaker 70 Honestly, just another in a long list about men who so easily perpetuate brutality against women.

Speaker 41 It's sickening.

Speaker 1 So remember, stay sexy and drink your coffee inside.

Speaker 18 Love ya, Cam.

Speaker 47 That is chilling. Yeah.

Speaker 26 That is

Speaker 60 like she could have been the only witness to the fact that he was still there.

Speaker 47 Like his alibi is out because of her and

Speaker 60 he didn't do anything.

Speaker 55 Fucking thank God.

Speaker 7 That's wild. Also, it's just that the exponential vulnerability of a mother and her brand new baby.

Speaker 58 Yeah. Early in the morning.
Oh my God.

Speaker 47 And the poor woman.

Speaker 47 Wild.

Speaker 2 This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's talk holiday shopping.

Speaker 5 From now through December 8th, you can get 20% cash back when you pay in four with PayPal.

Speaker 8 No fees, no interest.

Speaker 11 This limited time offer is perfect for the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals you've been eyeing.

Speaker 13 Save the offer in the app now.

Speaker 17 So, whether you're buying tickets to an improv show or a whodunit board game, PayPal helps you make the most of your money this holiday.

Speaker 19 Expires December 8th. See PayPal.com/slash promo terms subject to approval.

Speaker 23 Learn more at paypal.com/slash payin4, PayPal Inc., NMLS 910457.

Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 27 Hey guys, did you know that you can order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats?

Speaker 29 Yeah, that Home Depot, really.

Speaker 5 And here's the kicker.

Speaker 31 Right now, you can get $30 off $70 or more when you order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 28 So if you're in the middle of a project and realize you're out of light bulbs, glue, or that one tool you swore you had, don't stop what you're doing.

Speaker 39 You can get your home improvement essentials delivered in as little as 25 minutes.

Speaker 41 No waiting on shipping, no last-minute store runs.

Speaker 30 Just tap and get back to work.

Speaker 42 So stock up on DIY essentials, holiday decor, small appliances, or household must-haves like cleaning supplies and trash bags, all without leaving your project behind.

Speaker 32 Order from the Home Depot on Uber Eats.

Speaker 33 Use code Depot30.

Speaker 44 And it's December 31st.

Speaker 45 Exclusions may apply. Terms and minimum order apply.

Speaker 46 See at for details.

Speaker 26 Goodbye.

Speaker 14 All right. Well, my last one is just completely not like that at all.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 59 It's called Dope Hometown Festivals.

Speaker 47 So here we go. Great.

Speaker 67 Hey, y'all.

Speaker 87 In Minnesote 417, oh, and there's actually a St.

Speaker 59 Patrick's Day shout out in this one, too.

Speaker 65 In Minnisode 417, after talking about one town's hot dog day, you requested more weird hometown festivals.

Speaker 51 I have two good ones.

Speaker 77 This one's weird.

Speaker 67 I'm from Richmond, Virginia, where every New Year's Day we host the cone parade.

Speaker 77 Dozens of hungover people meet and parade through part of the city in full-body cone costumes that range from rolled-up poster board with names of metal bands written on them to full coney works of art and wordplay.

Speaker 67 And Olivandra, does this mean like a traffic cone, or are we talking about like an animal cone that you put on an animal when they get surgery?

Speaker 19 Can you look it up?

Speaker 24 I guess traffic cone. My money's on a traffic cone.

Speaker 59 That's what I thought too, but let's put it. There we go.
I've attended as both a spectator and a cone and had a blast either way.

Speaker 68 There's a live DJ, so there are a few stops for the cones to dance, a.k.a.

Speaker 13 awkwardly bob up and down.

Speaker 62 A couple notable cones this year were a few Chapel Rowan cones, UFOs abducting cows with the cone as a tractor beam, a group of colored pencils, and a dog in a cone.

Speaker 58 and a dog in a cone.

Speaker 50 I love my weird city.

Speaker 62 Georgia, it's literally like cone shape.

Speaker 79 Like it's not a traffic cone.

Speaker 2 Just the shape of a cone.

Speaker 58 It could be anything and it's just cone shape.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 68 That's easy that works i now live in savannah georgia sain patrick's day is the biggest event in savannah every year which i didn't know that

Speaker 63 saint patrick is celebrated for driving the snakes out of ireland so of course a few days before the big event a local group hosts a savannah slithering where people parade through the city dressed as snakes and carrying snake lanterns

Speaker 63 What? My husband's Vince is a worst nightmare.

Speaker 36 My husband and I have already started our costumes for this year's Slytering.

Speaker 59 How do you end an email? I have no clue.

Speaker 84 SSDGM. And thank you for all you do.

Speaker 66 Laura She They.

Speaker 49 Laura, you killed that ending.

Speaker 82 Incredible job.

Speaker 57 Yeah.

Speaker 72 The Slythering is hilarious.

Speaker 57 Slythering.

Speaker 72 It's just, it's like such the game of telephone of time, where clearly when that first started, it made perfect sense.

Speaker 53 It was like the lanterns were, you know, whatever.

Speaker 15 I'm making something from the 30s.

Speaker 72 This is how everybody lit things.

Speaker 70 Yeah.

Speaker 29 And now it just is like snakes with lanterns.

Speaker 70 Makes no sense.

Speaker 87 I do love these like adult gatherings, like this, the Santa Con every year.

Speaker 56 They have that like ride to work in your underwear day in New York.

Speaker 84 Like, I just love those little things where you can be a goofy adult.

Speaker 70 Yes. I think people need it.
Yeah, it makes me happy.

Speaker 38 Okay, here's my last one. Okay.

Speaker 82 The title says the title and then a dash.

Speaker 76 Don't read this title out.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Speaker 72 It says, don't read title if read out.

Speaker 6 Got it. Got it.

Speaker 38 And we get right into it.

Speaker 57 Hi, pals.

Speaker 38 Long time listener, first time emailer.

Speaker 88 You asked for inappropriate laughter stories at a funeral, so here you go.

Speaker 38 My favorite.

Speaker 73 I hail from the Emerald Isle, Dublin, Ireland.

Speaker 86 The Emerald Isle would just be Ireland, but it's like, I hail from the Emerald Isle, Dublin, Ireland.

Speaker 41 Funerals here are long events of silent, awkward gatherings where no one really knows how to act or what to say to each other.

Speaker 88 And then I would add editorial note in parentheses until they all get drunk.

Speaker 80 And I was like, where's the the alcohol, though?

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 38 And it's like, that's the first 15 minutes that now talk about when everyone gets three beers aboard.

Speaker 70 Anyway, a family member of mine sadly passed away.

Speaker 18 It was my first time attending a cremation.

Speaker 24 If you've never experienced one, let me explain.

Speaker 76 It's basically the burial part, but at the end, a curtain appears and slowly covers the coffin, and music plays.

Speaker 72 It's very symbolic, beautiful, and sad.

Speaker 15 Well, it usually is, I'm sure.

Speaker 53 Except for my family member's cremation, he chose the classic

Speaker 81 mambo number five by Lou Bega to play him out of this world.

Speaker 26 Oh my God.

Speaker 29 We can't sing it. We can't sing it,

Speaker 63 but I love him so.

Speaker 79 What a hero.

Speaker 7 Hero.

Speaker 2 Yes, you read that correctly.

Speaker 83 The song about wanting a little bit of Monica, Rita, Sandra, and Tina suddenly started to blast out of the old speakers.

Speaker 86 Imagine the worst sound quality speakers banging out that intro bass song.

Speaker 66 Oh, brilliant.

Speaker 26 Brilliant.

Speaker 72 I didn't know the family member too well, so I burst out laughing, immediately expecting everyone to be in on this joke.

Speaker 88 And then, in all caps, it says, nope.

Speaker 29 It was a joke. A smiley face.

Speaker 15 As I turned around, I caught shocked and alarmed expressions.

Speaker 72 It seems no one expected this song, and it was brilliant.

Speaker 72 What started as an extremely sad moment turned into a joyful one, and afterwards, stories were exchanged about how funny he was and how he would have loved it.

Speaker 72 The moral of the story is stay sexy and pick a funny song for your cremation.

Speaker 71 Lots of love, Jan, she, her.

Speaker 66 Oh my God.

Speaker 59 Like, I love, I love this person.

Speaker 58 That's so fucking hilarious and amazing.

Speaker 72 It's so good to be like, okay,

Speaker 38 yeah, I'm going to die.

Speaker 32 It makes me feel like they maybe were slightly on the younger side to know that song and then to know how funny it would be.

Speaker 65 Did you see recently the thing going around that was like a grandma died and she had these cards made up to pass out at her funeral that had Ouija boards on it and said, keep in touch.

Speaker 86 Yes. Brilliant.

Speaker 29 So good.

Speaker 58 If you know your funeral is coming, do something funny at it.

Speaker 83 Yeah, pay it forward.

Speaker 38 You're not going to be here anymore.

Speaker 15 Think of others for once.

Speaker 84 And then have them write in their story to my favorite murder, please.

Speaker 57 All right. Well, hey, happy St.

Speaker 38 Patrick's Day.

Speaker 1 Please safe and sane this St.

Speaker 76 Patrick's Day.

Speaker 74 We don't want to see you drink nine beers like you did last year.

Speaker 67 Come on.

Speaker 36 No green bar for this year, please.

Speaker 26 Come on.

Speaker 80 Come on.

Speaker 30 Stay sexy.

Speaker 47 And don't get murdered.

Speaker 26 Goodbye.

Speaker 50 Elvis, do you want a cookie?

Speaker 1 This has been an exactly right production.

Speaker 65 Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

Speaker 2 Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

Speaker 59 This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci.

Speaker 53 Email your hometowns to myfavorite murder at gmail.com.

Speaker 64 And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder.

Speaker 26 Goodbye.

Speaker 2 This podcast is sponsored by PayPal.

Speaker 3 Okay, let's talk holiday shopping.

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Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 53 No one brings out your inner monster like a bad neighbor.

Speaker 48 Claire Danes and Matthew Reese find that out for themselves in The Beast in Me, a new eight-episode drama from the team that brought you homeland.

Speaker 50 Danes plays Aggie Aggie Wiggs, a grieving writer.

Speaker 52 Reese plays Niall Jarvis, her new neighbor and possible murderer.

Speaker 54 But who's the monster and who's the bad neighbor?

Speaker 2 That's another story.

Speaker 48 It's a game of cat and mouse that sets them on a collision course with fatal consequences.

Speaker 24 The Beast in Me, now playing only on Netflix.

Speaker 14 You will not want to miss this.

Speaker 26 Goodbye. Goodbye.

Speaker 10 We're careful about what we eat, drink, and clean with.

Speaker 51 We should take as much care with what we put on our faces.

Speaker 18 Crunchy makes high-performance, non-toxic skincare and makeup.

Speaker 64 So Crunchy just sent me some products, and I am losing my mind.

Speaker 14 I put some of their beautifully flawless foundation on one of my hands, and so now one of my hands looks 10 years younger than my other hand.

Speaker 49 So, visit crunchy.com to shop Clean Beauty that performs and take 20% off your order with code MFM.

Speaker 48 That's code MFM at C-R-U-N-C-H-I.com, the real Clean Beauty.

Speaker 21 Goodbye. Bye.