MFM Minisode 420

This is exactly right. You know those commercials where a single impossibly shiny car glides down a beautiful winding country road with a horse running along a fence? Oh yeah, that's not real life.
No, but Hyundai's available class-exclusive advanced safety features are designed for the roads we actually drive on, helping to keep you and your family protected. Hyundai vehicles are equipped with a standard driver attention warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
Learn more about Hyundai at HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for complete details. That's H-Y-U-N-D-A-I-U-S-A.com or call 562-314-4603.
Goodbye. Behind every healthcare breakthrough are passionate people pushing the boundaries of scientific innovation.
I am Alberto Grignolo, a pharmaceutical industry veteran and host of Clinical Trial Blazers, a new podcast from Priccell Biotech. In each episode, I talk with biotech visionaries about the decisions, risks, and triumphs that shape their legacies and drive the future of scientific innovation.
Join me to uncover their unique stories and tune in at trialblazerspodcast.com. Amazon One Medical presents Painful Thoughts.
Do they ever actually clean the ball pit at these kids' play gyms? Or is my kid just swimming in a vat of bacteria,

catching whatever cootie of the day is breeding in there?

A cootie that'll probably take down our whole family.

Luckily, with Amazon One Medical 24-7 virtual care,

you can get checked out for whatever ball pit-itis you've contracted.

Amazon One Medical.

Healthcare just got less painful. Hello! And welcome to To my favorite murder.

The Mimi-sowed.

The Mimi-sowed, because Mimi's on my lap right now.

Drooling.

Mimi did a real good poke-up from the bottom of the Zoom screen.

Here, let me get her on camera for you so you can have something nice to look at rather than my...

Something wonderful.

Fucking face. Okay.

Mimi the supermodel with her tiny, tiny oh pretty hi lady you want to go first sure okay the title is i'm not going to read the subject line which i can't believe more people haven't done that is fucking hilarious full credit to this person yes and then it says in parentheses but if i did it would be then it's tells the whole story and it's great. So I won't do that.
Perfect. And then it just starts.
I'll be honest. The main reason it has taken me so long to write this in is because I absolutely panic at the thought of not having a good opening line.
So I'll let you use your imagination and pretend that this one was particularly fantastic. Sigh.
Here we go. I'll apologize in advance for being incredibly verbose.
Yet another reason I have procrastinated sending this. Someone's been using the thetaurus.
I bet someone got their $10 word out. In 1984, my parents moved to a huge house about two blocks from the largest local high school central.
My mom was nine months pregnant with my sister, but being the badass woman she was, she still helped to move all the boxes and furniture, despite it being her due date. She went into labor four days later.
This isn't actually relevant to the story referenced in the subject line, but my mom is going to sound pretty neglectful in a minute. So I wanted to make sure and paint her as the strong, amazing woman she is before throwing her entirely under the bus.
Get her under there. It says right about now.
I'm supposed to be a writer. Okay.
Sometime in the upper 80s, I believe 1987 or 88, my brother asked my mom if he could walk down the street to play at his best friend's house. It was the 80s, so she said sure and waved her six or seven-year-old child out the door to walk down the street, which is so normal, and didn't expect him home until the streetlights came on.
She never could have imagined that the next time the door opened, it would be two police officers on the other side telling her that her son had been abducted. What?

Okay.

Yeah, this gets crazy.

Apparently my big brother was walking down the street as advertised when a woman saw him by himself and decided she had a grand opportunity to make some money.

She had a knife and threatened my brother with it to get him to comply and come with

her.

She then needed to find a pay phone so she could call my parents and demand a ransom for the return of my brother, who by this time was crying. Nevertheless, she dragged my bawling brother to the closest place she could find the high school.
There was indeed a payphone there, but to get to it, she would have to cross the practice field and get to the tennis courts on the other side of the main field. And it says for scale, this is like three city blocks.
It is a huge high school. Okay.
All with a screaming, crying child who was pleading with her to take him home. So fucking traumatizing.
So creepy. Yeah.
Yeah. He even offered her his own money.
Turns out his not fully formed brain was concocting a plan to give her monopoly money in exchange for his life, which is equal parts funny and absolutely horrible. Yes.

As she undoubtedly shouted at him to shut up and continued dragging him to the payphone, the football team on the practice field began to notice something was wrong.

I have searched high and low for an article about this, which I know exists because I've seen it, but because I can't find it and because I hate asking my parents and brother to relive this part of their lives, I am recounting this from memory as best as I can. The football players saw my brother crying and this disheveled woman holding a knife and correctly assumed he was in danger.
They surrounded the woman and one of the players tackled her. As football players are want to do, I guess, I'm not sure what part of scary lady with a small child and knife made the idea of tackling seem appealing, but that is indeed what happened.
The police were called, probably using the very pay phone she planned to ransom my brother through because 80s. And my hysterical brother relayed that he lived two blocks over and wanted to go home.
Yeah. So that is how my mother came to find out that my brother actually never made it to the neighbor's house at all.
And it says, because calling to make sure he arrived safely just wasn't a thing. It wasn't though.
It really wasn't. No one ever called anyone unless you had to.
Totally. And instead was dragged by a stranger in search of a pay phone, but was luckily intercepted, pun intended, you're welcome, Georgia, by the football team and returned to my mother.
My brother doesn't like to talk about this incident much, but he did surprise me once when he brought it up and credited this experience for his obsession with personal safety slash weapons and trying to keep our family safe from harm. He is a wonderful man who would move mountains for those he loves.
And he has always been there to bail me out of a few unfortunate situations. I am beyond lucky that our story didn't end in tragedy like so many others.
And I am so grateful that I can find a modicum of humor and such a terrible memory. I think that is why I relate to your podcast so much.
My family has always imbued humor into sad or scary situations for better or worse. Stay sexy and make sure your kid arrives safely at their friend's house.
Offer your kidnapper monopoly money. Don't offer your kidnapper monopoly money.
Oh, wait, I've got it. Stay sexy and let the football team rescue you, Virginia.
Nice one, Virginia. Like that turned quick.
That just like, yeah, because in my mind, like talking about walking across that school, it was just like empty school. Wind is blowing.
You know what I mean? That the loneliest thing in the world is like an empty school totally i 100 and then like this woman probably had mental health problems which is so sad but like a knife to a six or seven year old child is just just no wrestle her immediately to the ground teenagers yeah these brave teenagers are like nope they're not standing by. No, it best yeah that's really wild very lovely but also it's the kind of thing where it's like stuff like that happens to people and then she's like this she's attributing his need for like to keep people safe and that and that is how bad things bring about good things like it's like now he is maybe overvigilant, but then that care and concern benefits all these people in his life.
Absolutely. Okay.
I'm not going to read you the subject line. So it just starts, hey, Karen, Georgia, and assorted animals.
I'll jump right into it. My dad's family moved around a lot when he was younger due to my grandpa's job with the military.
One of the places they lived when he was a little older was the Caribbean, where my dad got a job on a sailboat and became friends with the owner. Fast forward about 15 years, and my parents wanted to take their three young kids on vacation.
Since they're cheapskates, they decided to take us down to Belize. Those fucking cheapskates.
That doesn't sound cheap. I don't know Belize that well, but shit.
No. We literally went to the same lake every year.
Don't be crazy. And it was a drive.
It was a three-hour drive, and we drove it there and back every time. A country in Central America where my dad's friend was now living.
To stay with him and his wife for a couple weeks. On one of our last days in the country, my parents took my older brother and I on a tour of Monkey River, where we were supposed to be able to see crocodiles and manatees.
For reference, the tour consisted of only my family and a tour guide in a little boat floating down a river and up the shore of the jungle. I guess manatees were a really big selling feature on these tours because as our time slot was running out, our tour guide really seemed intent on finding us a manatee to take pictures of.
Finally, he spotted one in the distance. However, as our little boat got closer and closer to the manatee, it became clear that it was in fact not a manatee in the water, but a man floating face down next to a boogie board.
He was wearing a green and blue wetsuit and he was still strapped to his board at his wrist. Given that he had drowned in a kind of remote area in the jungle, we were the first ones to find him.
Oh my God. I'm just, yeah.

Yeah.

It says, this was a while ago, and I don't fully remember what the tour guide said to my parents since I was paying attention to the corpse right beside our boat, but I'm pretty sure that the tour guide knew who the man was and said that he'd been diving for oysters. At the time, the police in Belize were pretty corrupt and had a reputation for arresting tourists for crimes they didn't commit in order to elicit bribes.
So the guide told my parents not to mention the body to anyone and that he would take care of it. Cue my parents having to explain two very important concepts to their six- and eight-year-old children.
Oh, my god. Death and that snitches get stitches.
To this day I get super stressed when going through customs since my parents absolutely forbade us from talking to any customs agent a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. That's like a great way to just like implant trauma on top of trauma yes you know yes the stakes go wildly high yeah so our parents absolutely forbade us from talking to any customs agent when trying to leave belize i also refused to swim in the ocean for the next couple of years because although my mom had said the man had probably passed away from a heart attack six-year-old me knew deep down that it was sharks that had gotten him sure sharks or a giant clam that opened and enclosed you know that's always snap that was my big concern really when i was young a giant clam i saw it in some weird 70s children's thing where it's like a real life swimmer and a real sized up clam i could picture it yeah well my mom has taken my brothers and i on lots of sketchy vacations since then most involved her flying us across the atlantic ocean by herself to stay for months at a time with strangers she met on the internet what and then in parentheses it says my mom is not a murder you know then it says, that was probably one of the most memorable.
Oh, basically. So aside from that, that was probably one of the most memorable trips we've been on.
Thanks for making this great podcast and giving me something to do instead of studying for my college finals. Oh no.
And then it says, you've definitely knocked my GPA down a point or two, to which I will say, you've definitely knocked your GPA down a point or two. Hit stop.
It's not that good. SSDGM and don't go looking for manatees.
Margo. Oh, my God.
Have you seen the video? I think it's in Thailand. I'm probably completely wrong about the animal in the place.
But in Thailand, there are these like crocodile or alligators who have these little webby fingers. And they've learned that in this river, if they lay on their backs and hide their body and put their hand up like they're drowning, it looks like a human is drowning.
And the people jump in to save the human because they have these little fingers. And from far away, it looks like a hand.
They're like, help me, help me. They've learned that people will jump in and like,

and then do they attack the people and try to bite them and eat them?

Yes.

Oh my God.

These little arm hand thing.

I mean, it's the creepiest.

It's the tricky little bastards.

It's nature.

This is why,

this is why.

Yes.

Everybody's evolving.

Evolving.

The Bible. This is why.
This is why. Yes.
Everybody's evolving. The Bible.
This is why. This is why.
Hey, Karen, I want you to picture yourself going for a drive. What comes to mind? Not ever being able to merge on any freeway in Los Angeles and potholes and crying.
Oh, yeah. Well, the truth is the road can feel like it's out to get you at every turn, but Karen, it doesn't have to be this way.
Because Hyundai's available advanced safety technology is designed to help keep you protected from all of life's twists and turns. Their vehicles offer available features designed to help safeguard you and your loved ones.
You can change lanes with confidence thanks to the available blind spot view monitor, which actually shows you a live video feed of your blind spots. The standard forward collision avoidance assist can help prevent or mitigate accidents by alerting you of imminent collision.
Oh my God, this happens to me all the time. And automatically applying the brakes if you don't.
This is needed. Hyundai vehicles are equipped with the standard driver attention warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
Oh my God. Once detected, it sounds alerts and visual cues to help bring your focus back to the road.
Oh my God. I mean, get this for me right now.
With available class-exclusive safety features, Hyundai helps to keep you safe so you can enjoy the drive. Learn more about Hyundai at HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
That's H-Y-U-N-D-A-I-U-S-A.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye.
A sleek professional website makes you look very put together, even when you're wearing sweatpants and eating cereal out of a mug. And that's where Squarespace comes in.
Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer your services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to experiences, showcase your services with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.
And managing those payments is a breeze. In just a few clicks, you'll be able to accept payments with options like Klarna, Apple Pay, Afterpay, and more.
You'll get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
And get discovered faster with Squarespace's built-in SEO tools. With meta descriptions and auto-generated site maps, you'll rank higher in search results globally.
Go to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
That's squarespace.com slash murder, code murder. Goodbye.
Spring is in the air, and that means open windows, outdoor plans, and more time away from home, all the things that burglars love. Well, bad news, burglars.
Now you can protect your home with SimpliSafe. With SimpliSafe, millions of Americans enjoy greater security and peace of mind every time they arm their system.
Traditional security systems only take action after somebody is already broken in. That's too late.
But with active guard outdoor protection, SimpliSafe's monitoring agents closely watch your property and stop crimes before they happen. The cameras use advanced AI to distinguish between friendly faces like family and neighbors and potential threats, alerting agents to suspicious individuals before they get close to your home.
So I get that ping on my phone, on my app that tells me when there's someone like on my lawn. I'm such an old lady.
Or like, you know, walking at my driveway because I live up off the

street and you shouldn't be there if you're not meant to be there. So like if I get the ping that

someone's on my lawn and I'm like, I know something's up and I can check it before they

even get to the door or break in in the window. It's great.
Visit simplysafe.com slash fave to

claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.

That's simplisafe.com slash F-A-V. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.
Goodbye. Okay, I guess we asked for people to tell us their weird childhood hobbies.
Oh, good. Which is fun.
Yeah. Oh, you know what? I feel like the file folder just opened and it was that one where the girl got the kit of like sparkle of glitter.
No, it was balloon animals. Fucking balloon animals.
Wasn't there a sparkle one too where it was just like sparkles? I don't remember that one. Anyway, balloon animals was recent.
Okay. So this one's called peanut people.
Hello, all sort of day one listener. I started from the beginning in 2018.
So whatever that is. Yeah.
You asked for weird childhood hobbies. And I remembered mine that I think helped me figure out my career path.
When I was around eight, we had this big plastic jar of shell on peanuts. It was old and stale and needed to get thrown out.
Kind of like those big tins of popcorn that everyone got for Christmas that eventually got emptied out and turned into trash cans. Yeah.
Well, I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I was feeling crafty one day and I took the peanuts and started drawing faces on them. It started off as a bit of a joke.
I would carry them around in my bejeweled purse and tell my friends made up stories about the peanut people. Some laughed with me.
A lot probably laughed at me. Either way, it was a hit.
So I expanded on this idea. Either way, it was a hit.
It does not track from what you just said. People are laughing.
I think that's like a pure hearted, lovely thing is just like, you know what? The noise was there and that's all that matters. Exactly.
So I expanded on the idea. I created a house for the peanut people.
I made walls and floors out of cardboard, painted it and even created furniture. It was clearly more than a joke to me.
I got really into building homes for the peanut people. I did the same thing, but with troll dolls, my friend and I were obsessed.
We built like elaborate houses for them. That's fun.
It became a peanut village. It probably lasted a year, but the passion for designing buildings never really went away.
So here I am 21 years later, designing buildings at an architecture firm. Wow.
What? Amazing. When people ask me what got me interested in architecture, I do not tell them.
But I told you, smiley face. Yay.
As I found out in 2018 at one of my first internships, the job is like any and can get pretty boring. So I have always appreciated having you guys in my ear.
Stay sexy and throw out your stale peanuts. Kelsey, she, her.
Wow. I really like that.
Isn't that lovely? Also, it's just like so funny for kids these days where like literally you cannot be near peanuts. And like the peanut allergy thing that came up, which is important and good i am i'm not trying to be one of those people's like nobody was allergic to peanuts before right i love when comics make those generalizations i'm like my my next door neighbor who i was just talking about yeah he had such a bad peanut allergy like he had to have a epi pen at all times or he would his throat would close and he would die it's not like nobody had it it's like nobody gave a shit it's you sound stupid when you say that nobody had autism back then it's like nobody cared it's yeah they weren't they weren't paying attention they were just like oh you have to we're just gonna real quick make this easy for ourselves and put you in a room somewhere and not look into this.
And like literally it was like an 11 year old that on his own without his mom or anybody doing the work, he had to make sure he never ate a peanut. So he literally like, what's in this? I don't know.
I'm not like it was sad. Anyway, he made it.
I'm a peanut peanut allergy truther. And I'm here to say, OK, I'm not going to read you the subject line.
It just starts. Hello, all.
I appreciate it. I'm a peanut allergy truther, and I'm here to say.

Okay.

I'm not going to read you the subject line.

It just starts, hello, all.

I appreciate all the work you and the entire company does.

Nice.

Well, that's all the emotion I can handle based on my German family upbringing.

I appreciate that.

Nice one.

So it says, let's get into the story.

This last holiday trip home, I heard a casual story from my dad.

While watching a crime show with him, he mentioned that the FBI interviewed him once, leading me to immediately ask for the details. Back in the 80s, my dad was a nurse anesthetist, which is a specialized nurse who sedates or induces general anesthesia for medical procedures.
To make extra money, he would pick up shifts at a Chicago abortion clinic on the weekends. Well, this clinic happened to be run by the Chicago mob, specifically Anthony Tony Centracchio.
Whoa. Right? What a name.
Yeah. That was kind of fun to say.
It sounded great. That anesthetist, you fucking knocked it out of the park there.
Thank you. It's a hard one.
That's a hard one. Okay.
Mostly my dad would keep to himself and do his work. So there was, this wasn't a problem.
Occasionally he would be offered jewelry to buy while working there, which he politely declined. You need his bracelet or you want a bracelet? Wow.
During this time, the FBI came to our house and asked him about his work, the clinic, who owned it, and were particularly interested in Tony Centracio. Sure.
My dad states that he was relatively vague about his responses, like likely a smart decision. The FBI also asked about the jewelry being offered, which my dad replied he never bought because, quote, it wasn't his style.
Then instead of keeping this interview to himself, he told the mob members at the clinic that he had been interviewed. So smart.
Tell them immediately or it's going to seem like you fucking snitched. Yes.
You know what I mean? Yes. Yes.
Self-report. Yeah.
When working alongside or with the mob, please self-report.

Because you know one of those FBI agents were on the take, too, and told them, would have told them that they talked to him.

And then they've been like, why didn't you tell us that they talked to you?

That's right.

And then there's also the embedded FBI agent who isn't on the take, who's overgrown his mutton chops, and he's Tony Cintraccio's best friend.

Oh, my God.

It goes all the way to the top. Think it through when you're working with the mob.
Okay. Thankfully, he didn't know anything of value for the mob to care about it.
My dad is in his early 70s now and he still volunteers his time in service at abortion clinics. He considers it one of the ways he can give back in this questionable time.
And it's a reminder that abortion rights are human rights. He is the reason both my sister and I are in the medical field and is always proud to label himself a girl dad.
I hope this makes at least one person smile while reading, even if it does not make it on the podcast. Stay sexy and don't buy jewelry with mop ties.
Rachel. That's so beautiful.
Like a beautiful way to raise your daughters to be like, this is what I do. And it's totally normal.
And it's just my job. And, you know.
And it's important. Yeah.
It's important work that has been politicized and weirdly religiousized in a way that is actually neither smart or accurate or good for our culture. And this is science, which has nothing to do with my morality or whatever the fuck, you know, or my religion.
Or anybody else's belief, what part of the Bible they read. I mean, it kind of makes you love the mafia a little more, if anything.
I know you love them so much. I really do love them.
And I love Italians, of course. Hey, Karen, I want you to picture yourself going for a drive.
What comes to mind? Not ever being able to merge on any freeway in Los Angeles and potholes and crying. Oh, yeah.
Well, the truth is The road can feel like it's out to get you at every turn. But Karen, it doesn't have to be this way.
Because Hyundai's available advanced safety technology is designed to help keep you protected from all of life's twists and turns. Their vehicles offer available features designed to help safeguard you and your loved ones.
You can change lanes with confidence thanks to the available blind spot view monitor, which actually shows you a live video feed of your blind spots. The standard forward collision avoidance assist can help prevent or mitigate accidents by alerting you of imminent collision.
Oh my God, this happens to me all the time. And automatically applying the brakes if you don't.
This is needed. Hyundai vehicles are equipped with the standard driver attention warning system, which constantly monitors your attention levels.
Oh my God. Once detected, it sounds alerts and visual cues to help bring your focus back to the road.
Oh my God. I mean, get this for me right now.
With available class-exclusive safety features, Hyundai helps to keep you safe so you can enjoy the drive. Learn more about Hyundai at HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
That's H-Y-U-N-D-A-I-U-S-A.com or call 562-314-4603. Goodbye.
There are probably a billion furniture options out there. We didn't count, but that number feels right.
So how do you find the perfect piece? Easy. You go to Article.
Article believes in delightful design for every home. And thanks to their online-only model, they have some really delightful prices too.
Article makes furniture shopping a breeze with its carefully selected styles from mid-century modern to boho and everything in between. Check out their near-addressor.
It's beautiful and practical, which is a deadly combination. You know we're hard stands of Article on this podcast.
Everyone knows that. We're like BFFs.
I mean, we couldn't rave more. And it's because everything is so classy, so beautifully made, affordable, and so user-friendly.
Like, you don't have to have style to, like, get stylish stuff from Article. They do it for you.

So like there's no worry there. Look at that near addresser on their website.
Just go and take a look at that one piece and you will see what we are talking about. It is as mid-century as you could get.
Seriously. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.
To claim, visit article.com slash murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's A-R-T-I-C-L-E dot com slash murder to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.
Goodbye. As the weather starts to get warmer and we can finally go places again, it's time to face a hard truth.
Your travel wardrobe is not ready. You can't bring bad fashion on your vacation.
They won't let you out of the airport. Fortunately, we all have Quince.
They have high-quality travel essentials at fair prices. With Quince, you can get quality luxury essentials without a hefty price tag, like lightweight European linen styles from $30, washable silk tops, and comfy lounge sets.
And Quince also has premium luggage options and stylish tote bags to carry it all. Everything is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because Quince works directly with top factories.
They cut out the middleman and pass the savings on to you. Georgia, I don't want to brag or anything, but I just got a box of three brand new Quince sweaters because I wear my $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that I got years ago so much that I was finally like, I need to freshen this up a little bit.
For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash MFM to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash MFM.
Goodbye. Okay, this one is really long.
It's my last one. It will probably make you cry.
I'm going to guess 75% on Karen crying on this one. Okay, let's see.
I'm not going to read you the title. Hey, all.
This is longish, but worth it. It also may make you emote.
Be warned. Okay.
When my twin sister, Ashley, and I were 13 years old, she woke me up at me up at 3am on Christmas morning, sobbing in my bed, begging me not to die. I vividly remember responding immediately with Ash, I'm not going to die before you.
You're going to die before me. I'm the one who has to figure out how to live without my twin.
This was not that abnormal for her to worry about. I come from a very large close family and we had a few grandparents die around that time.
This was also the first year we didn't share a bedroom, and she was deathly afraid of the dark. In November 2020, after almost 12 years of fighting for her life, battling pancreatitis and pancreatic cancer, Ashley spent a month in a coma in a hospital in Vermont.
Because it was the height of COVID, we were not allowed to see her in the hospital. Even though she was comatose, I still felt connected to her as I always have.
She called it twin tuition. Every night for almost a month, I went outside to angrily smoke and yell at her wherever the fuck she was.
I was so angry at not being able to be with her because of COVID. And I was terrified that I would never see her again.
I wouldn't get to say goodbye, which didn't seem right considering we came into this world together. I'm already fucking getting choked up.
I didn't want her to leave the world alone. The entire time she was in a coma, I would yell at her.
I would cry at her. I would apologize to her for yelling at her.
I kept telling her, give me one more year. I know it's selfish of me, but I can't do this without you yet.
I need one more year. Come on, Ash.
I know you can hear me. What's the fucking password? What's the fucking password? When we were kids, we used to always joke about what we would do if one of us was cloned.
We were weirdly obsessed with it. I guess being a twin is like a clone.
That's got to be a little jarring. Yeah.
It's a discussion that you would probably want to be having. Yeah.
Yeah. That makes sense.
How would we know who the real one was versus who the clone was? Her answer was always the same. Just ask me for the password to our bedroom,

because of course we had a secret password to our bedroom that only we knew. We had way too many siblings we couldn't trust with our Nintendo DES.
At 1109 AM on a Wednesday in December 2020, my phone rang. It was a phone number that I didn't recognize.
I answered it, said hello a couple times but heard no response until finally a scratchy, rough voice said, it's Mariah Carey. Now stop fucking yelling at me.
You heard me, Brit. It's Mariah Carey.
Now stop yelling. She woke up.
I immediately broke down and said, Ash, is that you? Silence. About two minutes later, a nurse picked up the phone and identified herself as Mary.
They already explained that my sister had woken up from a 35-day coma that they didn't expect her to come back from. In fact, at one point she had died and they had brought her back.
She wanted to tell me that as soon as my sister woke up, they extubated her and she kept motioning for the phone in her hospital room. When she was finally able to speak, she said, call Britt.
I was her care agent or next to kin and was always her main contact during any hospital stay if you hadn't guessed it yet mariah carrie was the password to our childhood bedroom my sister and i definitely had like if you come back as a ghost like do this one thing and that's how i'll know it's you yeah i don't remember what remember what it was, but. Make a plan.
Yeah. You better call her and reset that plan.
Shit, you're right. Yeah.
She heard me and she came back for me. She gave me one more year and I'm so grateful that she did.
She journaled, wrote personal letters to her family and friends, and most importantly to her son, Jordan. We lost Ashley April 8th, 2022.
I'm glad she's not in pain and I'm glad she didn't

resent me for begging her to give me that year. I love her and miss her so fucking much every second of every day.
The connection that twins share is very special and I feel very lucky to experience it as I feel closer to her now than when she was on this planet. I love you, Ash, and I'll see you soon.
Stay sexy and don't forget the password.

Brittany. Yeah, you got me.
I think me too. Let me sit in my emotions.
Where do you feel it? Feel it in your body. It's a tightness in the throat and the chest.
It is. And it kind of, Well, we all come in and go out alone, and it is hard.

Yeah, but there's more maybe but there's there's i think they're i think they just proved it these two these why am i so far back away from the mic i forgot how to podcast hard leaning like Like, there's a, that was a little bit bit of a there's proof of that humans can do more if twins can do it that means eventually regular people will be able to do it right like there's a high note and we're just like ours is here but it's still there but it's also that thing of like what a lucky thing that it actually worked that there was a little more time, especially knowing that she had kids. Yeah.
She said, Mariah Carey, stop yelling at me. Like, what the fuck? So that's a good tip of like, maybe you can bug people out of comas.
Just irritate them. Yeah.
And like, if she could talk to her in a coma and annoy her she can talk to her from the great beyond i believe that even though i don't believe in jack shit i'm a fucking nihilist i think she can go out there have an angry smoke and just be like girl yeah and it and there's a connection there i think so i do i think people can do it now? Like, did you listen to the telepathy tapes? That podcast? Oh, yeah. No.
Oh, it's like. Hold on.
Let me write this down. I keep seeing clips on TikTok.
So and it's basically like the clips are amazing, but it almost feels like it's about a documentary. So I'm like, oh, I need to actually just sit down and listen to this podcast.
So I'm recommending it blind based on TikTok.

But it's like basically studies where the theory is kids with different kinds of autism have the ability to have telepathic connection with their caretaker.

So if they're nonverbal, they can still communicate.

Absolutely.

I totally believe that. That's incredible.
Yeah, I download. I'm going to listen.
That's amazing. Listen, I will too.
Okay. You have one more, right? I do.
Okay. The subject line of this email is, parents' house home phone number was one digit off from the funeral home.
Hello, all. We had the dentist.
We had the dentist one.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right.
Hello, all. Long-time listener.
First time writing in. I've been waiting for years to have a good hometown story to share, and after hearing Minisoed 416 about the girl whose home phone was mistaken for a doctor's office, I knew it was finally my time.
I grew up in a small town in Ohio in the early 2000s. During this time, a new funeral home opened in town and their phone number was just one digit off from my parents' home phone.
For years, we got calls from people trying to reach the funeral home. It happened so often that my parents changed their answering machine message to clarify.
If you're trying to call the funeral home, you've dialed the wrong number. Because they're crying probably too.
So they can't even see the phone number correctly or dial it correctly. Oh my God.
It's like the worst moment to be in charge of like that kind of. Executive function.
Yes, exactly. At first, my mom did her best to explain the mistake to the callers, but it wasn't easy.
Many people insisted they had the right number. She ended up as an unofficial unpaid secretary for the funeral home, taking messages and calling them herself to pass them along.
That's so nice. The funeral home thought it was funny and even told her, if anyone ever calls for a body pickup, let us know right away.
We got all kinds of calls, an elderly woman crying about her husband's headstone, questions about visiting hours, and more. My mom had the hardest time convincing people they'd call the private residence.
One time, the owner of the funeral home himself popped up on our caller ID. My mom answered hello and was immediately met with him yelling, That's not how you answer the phone.
We're business. Use the business name.
He must have been joking. That's psychotic.
And then she said without missing a beat, if you're so professional, shouldn't you know your own phone number? You called a private residence. He quickly apologized and hung up, clearly mortified.
So he did mean it. Oh, as in like ex-receptionist secretary, I was yeah he meant that i've been yelled at that before for sure i literally would have typed up an invoice for my time and then been like oh if you're going to yell at me like i'm in your employee you can pay me like an employee there's been there were so many times i'd pick up the phone and forget like what work like where i was was because I was a temp all the time I'd be like um fuck can't remember um okay over the years the calls happened less and less and thankfully my parents haven't received one in a long time say sexy and double check the number before you hit call Jess S oh that's good do you think things like that happen less and less because like...
I was just going to say that.

Yeah, the blue...

Like the number is blue in Google, whatever.

Yeah, like when was the last time you're like,

no, you have the wrong number.

I haven't said that in fucking years.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

That's...

I love...

I love that.

That's like such a great party story, you know?

Yes, it is.

It's like, hey, remember only 40 years ago, but that also is so long ago. It's 190 years ago.
Send us your hometown stories of your party stories when things get slow and you got to share an anecdote. That's like a little raunchy, but not too raunchy.
You don't know if like there's religious people there or what, you know? Yeah. Something that's like family friendly,

either raunchy or just interesting.

Like,

do you have a memory about your family's landline?

Like the phone that hung in the kitchen before everybody had their own

individual phone.

There was so much fighting at my house about get off the phone.

I'm not paying for that phone call.

And then when Pacific bell did their like 1986 update and there was call waiting and there was call forwarding. I love that you remember what year that like, it was so exciting.
It was, it was epic. Cause then you could, no one could tell you get off the phone because there was call waiting.
Call waiting was fucking incredible. Or whatever story at myfavoritemurder at Gmail.

We'll take anything.

There's also a mini mini-sode on the fan cult

if you want one more story from each of us.

And they're all still there.

So it's not just one.

It's like years of mini mini-sodes.

Fucking literal.

Almost a decade of these.

Yeah.

So go to myfavoritemurder.com and join the fan cult. Yes, do all that and then stay sexy.
And don't get murdered. Goodbye.
Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at myfavoritemurder. Goodbye.
Comcast Business helps retailers become seamlessly restocking, frictionless paying, favorite shopping destinations. Thank you for shopping.
It's how nationwide restaurants become touchscreen ordering, quick-serving eateries. And how hospitals become the patient-scanning, data-managing, healthcare facilities that we all depend on.
With leading networking and connectivity, advanced cybersecurity, and expert partnership, Comcast Business is powering the engine of modern business. Powering possibilities.
Restrictions apply. I feel so alone.
I'm embarrassed to talk about it. How can I help my kid if I can't help myself? I can't remember when I wasn't stressed.
I don't want to go inside. When you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, it's okay to get help.
You are not alone. CalHOPE is here for you with free, safe, and confidential mental health resources for youth, young adults, families, and you.
Find support now at calhope.org. iHeart Radio Broadway and AMDA College of the Performing Arts present the ultimate talent competition.
Do you have moves that command the stage? AMDA and iHeart are searching for high school dancers with talent to wow the world. Win big scholarships to one of America's top performing arts colleges.
Grand prize winners get a full tuition scholarship to AMDA and perform live in New York City on the iconic Broadway and Bryant Park stage. Don't miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Visit iHeartAmda.com today for more details and to apply.

That's iHeartAMDA.com.