C3 Ep. 68: Dearly Departed (A Faerie Tale Ending)

This is a head gun podcast.

Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.

This is not another DD podcast.

Welcome back to Bahumia, everybody.

Bohumia!

I'm your dungeon master, Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz.

The water is dark and full of vampire sharks.

Call their kills.

Wow, is that a real kid?

I didn't prepare that.

I think so.

Nice.

You didn't prepare a vampire rhyme after everything that happened last time?

Sorry, I was thinking about my fucking sister.

Oh, really?

I can't believe it.

It's more on the forefront of your mind.

Forgive me.

Forgive me for thinking vampires might be on the forefront of your mind.

We were thinking about the story, man.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Oh, I get it.

We actually, we love what you're doing as DNA.

Shit.

All All right.

You respect me this week.

That sucks.

That's tough.

I don't know how to fit into this dynamic.

All right.

And then, of course, we've got Emily Oxford.

Daydream and cry.

Who hopes to meet a vampire?

Good night.

Good night, Emily, Shickle.

Luckily, you guys bantered for me to come up with the family.

Yeah, no, I saw you just freeze and just head was spinning as you tried to think of vampire rise.

But she stuck it.

Tell you what.

She absolutely stuck it.

And then, of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner.

Oh, giving dingers to fate bringers and escaping Batbee's fingers.

It's Shaul Bufo.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

There's a vampire just standing right behind me.

I didn't mention it in the rhyme, but he is there in the room.

Caldwell stuck it too.

Caldwell stuck it too.

Stuck it.

Parentheses vampire here.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect vampire-themed rhyme.

Yes.

Absolutely.

All right.

Let's go ahead and do a little recap.

So last time you approached the shores of the Shadowfell Archipelago, expecting to run into vampires for some reason.

Instead, you found Cyra sitting alone on the rocky plains.

Syrah seemed relieved when Callie approached her, then switched back to anger about the stolen serpent egg.

The sisters had it out.

Callie said that she was jealous of Syrah because of her relationship with their mother, but Sarah revealed that she was jealous of Callie because their mother knew she was special.

Sarah also revealed that she refused Oberon's help, hence Marigold still being full-sized and a bit wild.

Eventually, Callie broke down her walls, and you reminisced about some good times together, allowing Saul and Calder to make their introductions.

Seamlessly.

Seamlessly.

From there, the vibe got a bit awkward, and you tried

said that he heard mixed things about her immediately.

Yeah.

You tried to talk Cyra down from her plan of attacking Jove, but she persisted.

You went to Galactic Swag for advice, and he gave you a map of the Seely Unseely Summit.

With that in hand, you knew that you could at least target Jovir carefully and spare innocent lives, so you agreed to help Syrah.

You had breakfast for dinner, which Syra prepared, since the rest of you just wanted to have cold eggs for some reason.

Vampire eggs.

Sure, vampire eggs were.

No, it was because we were being supportive of Calder.

Right.

I made a really weird impression, and I needed to claw back some

social cachet.

And you did.

And you did.

Syrah told of her various quests, and you invited her into the crew with her own duck team track jacket.

She eventually brought down Marigold for you to meet, who warmed up to you when she met the projections of Honeysuckle and Licorice.

You flew around the island and saw a vampire party, then landed and prepared for the plane shift.

But just as Syra casts the spell, seven Fatebringer mages emerged from invisibility and cast Force Cage on you, leaving Cyra to plane shift alone.

One of the mages showed you a projection of the summit where Cyra was tricked into killing Queen Cyrilla when Jovir moved out of the way and one of the compromised green knights pushed her.

As Cyra collected the power of the melted crown, Marigold was wrestled down by Fomorians and Cyra was shot with an arrow by Glenn and apprehended, allowing Jovir to grab the relic with the power of the Seely Crown.

The Fatebringers announced that you were under arrest and would be executed for conspiring to murder Queen Cyrilla.

After Calder's attempt at a Misty Stepped was counterspelled, it seemed you'd have no choice but to be captured.

Then Saul used his hour of reaping, causing six of the seven mages to recoil

in a moment of absolutely legendary terrible rolling by me.

Callie used FaZestep to jump on the remaining one, and the fight was on.

Calder successfully misty-stepped out, and Saul and Kenna were able to escape via the teleport ability of Calder's helm.

Yes.

The vibe quickly worsened, though, when the remaining six mages shot six fireballs at you, knocking out Callie and bringing Calder within an inch of death, Kenna brought Callie back up with a potion, who immediately got to work magically manipulating mages into fleeing the battle.

Saul was able to stun enough that you were able to spread out and start running in different directions.

Unfortunately, the remaining mages were able to pull off a chain lightning, taking down Callie and Calder.

Callie was brought up again quickly, but Calder rolled a net one on a death-saving throw and was close to passing on.

Saul continued to stun the mages, then made a mad dash to him and was able to feed him a potion just in time.

As you rushed off, the mages tried sending Big B's hands after you, but Callie dispelled one and Saul squeaked out of the other.

Running in separate directions, you all jumped off a cliff into the dark Shadowfell Sea, and that's where we are now.

I didn't squeak, dude.

You didn't squeak out?

I didn't squeak.

How did you get out?

It was very forceful.

It was very impressive.

Okay.

Sort of like a haul.

Oh, I wasn't thinking your voice squeaked.

I was thinking thinking you made like a wet plopping sound.

Oh, that did happen.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I apologize.

Yeah, I freaking thought so.

I know how to DM, dude.

And we love what you're doing.

All right.

So, you all plummet from the top of this cliff into the water below.

You break the surface and sink down.

You open your eyes, but it is pitch black.

There is no green or algae, only darkness.

Callie jumped in with Kenna, and Calder jumped in with Saul, but you all find yourselves very much alone in this moment.

Those with heavy armor, all of you, except for Saul, find yourselves quickly sinking.

Wow.

That is the only way you know which way is down.

Otherwise, you can't make heads or tails of anything.

On top of that, you've just had a near-deadly encounter.

You feel that as soon as you hit the water, even you, Saul, the adrenaline leaves your body,

and you feel consciousness slipping away from you.

You feel a weird calm as you float down.

Your mind and muscles relax.

Your vision is dark.

Your senses are dulled.

And before you can tell the difference between consciousness and unconsciousness, life and death,

you pass out.

Everybody,

do me a favor and roll roll initiative.

Whoa.

Okay.

18 for Calliope.

Oh, 18 as well.

I also got an 18.

Are you serious?

Whoa.

Really?

Yeah.

Let's legally vote.

Absolutely insane.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let's go ahead.

If all of you have the exact same initiative, everybody give me constitution saving throws.

Okay.

Okay, are we being punished for this?

Are you being punished for it?

No.

Nat 20.

Okay.

Okay.

18.

Okay.

A simple dullard's nine.

All right.

Calder.

You wake up

and find yourself in a strange room.

Some kind of hunter's den or entertaining room.

Based on the size of it and the style, You get the sense that you are inside a great, very old mansion.

There are burgundy carpets and curtains with gold trim.

The room is lit by a candelabra chandelier and hundreds of tiny candles on oak desks and tables, bookshelves of old tomes.

You see that as you look down at your body, you have been disarmed and relieved of your outer armor.

Am I naked?

You are not naked.

You're in, you wear stuff under your armor.

Okay.

Yeah, he does it.

No one stripped him down.

He is wearing clothes.

He has clothes on under his armor.

It would hurt him to have plate on naked skin.

He has clothes on.

I'm wearing a cup and a tank.

All right.

You just have a jock strap on in a tank.

Me too.

Yeah.

Everyone is in whatever they wear under their armor.

A cup and a tank.

A cup and a tank.

All right.

So the three of you are in a cup and a tank.

Yeah.

Calder, you see that your belongings are stacked neatly in the corner of of the room.

And there's also a strange plant that has a green stem and is drooping over with the weight of a big circular green bulb.

And there are no windows in this room and a heavy wooden door with iron banding.

Okay.

And as your senses start to come back to you, you go to move and realize that you are bound to this table.

Your wrists and ankles are attached to magically enchanted cuffs, and you look over and see Calliope

and Saul and Kenna tied to separate tables in the same position as you.

Are they awake?

Uh, they are not awake yet.

You rolled the highest on the Constitution check.

Hmm.

Okay.

Can I just do like a light, a light, low whistle?

Yeah.

To try to get them to stir.

You let out a low whistle.

You see Kenna, Saul,

and Callie begin to stir.

Syrah.

Is that a whipper?

What?

Holy.

Are we?

Ah.

I'm in my cups.

I'm down to my tank and my cup.

Is everyone wearing a tank and a cup?

Do we all wear the same cup?

I was wearing like the regular stuff you wear under armor.

I'm trying to, I can't remember the name for it, but you know, I basically have like a tudic on and my pants.

When you're a knight, you'll adopt it.

You really need a cup.

Really, because I've dressed knights before as a squire.

This is like day one.

Then you haven't dressed a night before.

There were budget cuts at Mothership.

General Bronzebeard is kind of like the Knight of Knights.

Maybe for a tourney or something, but it's different when you're adventuring.

You guys have this argument as you're all strapped down on separate boards.

I go to gesture to be more emphatic about the point, and I see the stuff on our wrists.

You said it's magical.

You feel like a magical surge going through it.

Can I try to cast Unseen Serpent to see if I can cast a spell?

Callie, as you go to cast a spell, go ahead and give me a constitution saving throw.

You feel a magical charge go through you that causes your body to like break before you can do the verbal or any kind of components to cast the spell.

19 on the die.

Okay.

I can't say 23.

You do not gain a level of exhaustion.

Okay.

But you feel, you immediately go to like heavy breathing.

You break out into a sweat.

Okay, don't.

No one tried to cast spells.

Okay.

There's a mistake.

Let me see if a little good old-fashioned frog grease does the trick.

Can I try and use my slimy skin to try and wriggle my way out?

You see that this is bound tightly around your wrists and you are looking like kind of dried out a little bit.

Oh, you yeah, you were saying that you were squeaky.

In fact, Saul, I'll say, you look at yourself and you're kind of like, shit, have I not been in the water in like a couple days?

What?

What?

This feels wrong.

Wait, it can't be a couple days.

It could be days.

I'm flaky over here.

We're just in the water.

Can I just try to like, is there a window somewhere?

There is no window in this room.

Okay, fine.

Fuck it.

I'm going to scream.

What the fuck is going on?

Somebody spit on me.

Somebody spit on me.

I need water.

Axis.

I'll try.

I'm trying to hawk a Lugi on Sol.

Yeah, I definitely Hawkalugi.

It's all.

I'm screaming so loud that there's so much spittle

over.

You're supposed to wear pants.

Everyone's supposed to wear pants.

You're supposed to wear pants.

You're supposed to wear some freaking tunic.

Metal on skin is not good at all.

It's a cup.

All right?

It's not real.

It's not real.

Come over and kick me and I'll show you how effective it is.

I'll come over and get it.

I'll come over and kick it.

I'll come over and kick you.

This is great.

He's spinning.

All the spittle is good.

As you guys are screaming at each other, all tied to these separate boards, you see that plant that was sitting there, that was this big circular green bulb.

You hear a disgusting, like,

as an eyeball opens up in the bulb and looks at you guys.

Obern?

Is that you?

It absolutely does not look like Oberyn.

In fact, I'm going to assume it's oberyn oberyn it's you oprin please

stick that wet moist eyeball on me you see this

i'm glad you spy on us oberyn tell kenna about the cup tell her about the cup

this extremely red injured eye

looks at you guys and then a moment later you begin to hear the sounds of people

walking down like a nearby hallway.

It almost sounds like a party, like a bunch of excited people.

You hear somebody fumbles with a key on the outside, and then the large wooden door finally opens up, and you see a couple dozen well-dressed aristocrats in fine clothing and burden.

You have a fucking low time, you are.

You've got a lot of nerve, sir.

I have a lot of nerve.

This is your fault.

You all made this happen.

Yes.

Yes, you got what he asked for.

Easy.

There is one man with no mask.

He has long white hair

and piercing red eyes.

He wears a long black coat and a white shirt with a ruffled collar that he leaves open, revealing his taut frame.

You see, he's got a goblet of a thick red liquid.

Oh my god.

And he kind of swirls it around as.

Quick, spill it on him.

I try to gesture to Saul.

Spill your drink on him.

I don't know if I need that sort of liquid, but yeah, sure, why not?

You see, this guy looks taken aback.

I thought the effects of the Shadow Valle Sea might dull your senses a bit, but it seems you're as lively as ever.

Yes.

Why are we in chains?

I'm curious.

Yeah, what is going on?

And has it been several days?

Because we lost someone very important.

I'm very worried about her.

Oh.

What's your name, by the way?

My name is the Baron Archibald Stunch.

Archibald Stunch.

Archibald Stunch.

I'm very important around here.

Geographically, politically, story-wise.

Geographically, yeah.

What was that?

Sorry, that third one sounded kind of meta.

Politically.

Story-wise.

Politically.

No.

Oh, okay.

I think that was the first or second one.

Yes, yes.

Swore what I heard.

We saw, yes.

Why are we here?

How do you know us?

How did you find us?

Well, we saw you flying around on that golden snake of yours.

Oh, right.

The party.

Yeah, so we did a little reconnaissance, and lucky for you, we fished you out of the water.

Yeah, that was actually...

really kind of you.

We were in a bad place, in a bad way.

What can we do to repay you?

Oh,

uh, you see, the Baron Archibald Stunch looks at the other party goers, again, dozens of them, um, and they all look wow.

You've got quite a lively party.

Yes, well,

strong.

Now, are those all Aero Cockra that are just wearing masks because it's ironic?

Uh, you see, they take off their burnt masks and they are vampires.

Wow, no, is anyone hot?

Yeah, most of them are hot.

Yeah,

most of them are hot.

I try to make my tank and cup look as flattering as possible.

I mean, they already look amazing.

Everyone looks enticed.

Everyone looks enticed.

We don't know whether it's the blood or the cups and tanks.

We look like the crew of the Nostromo, but wearing cups.

Just waking up out of that hibernation pod, just cuffed up and ready to go.

Yeah, you see.

I'm cuffed up.

The Baron, before we were talking about cupped up,

responds to what Callie was saying before and goes, Oh, thank you for complimenting all soare.

But uh, they've become a bit

pedestrian as of late.

All of the same people, all of the same families.

Oh, sure, sure.

I literally want fresh blood.

Toasts to you, holds up the body.

Sorry, was that laughter, or was that a bit of life and dust leaving your body?

Little bit of goleme.

Little bit of golem bee.

Okay, okay, okay.

Do you want to put that goblet down?

Because you keep gesturing with it, and I'm worried it's going to spill.

Oh, I've been doing this for

this for a long time, my friend.

I get it.

You have a stink of legacy about you.

You're certainly nursing that goblet.

You're not drinking it at all.

Good.

Well, the question is,

how do we celebrate

our new guests?

Well, we

could dance if you if you untie us.

Yeah.

i do a really good

bloody cabaret

you see a few of them do mercantized tempting

but we were thinking more along the lines of

keeping you alive and feasting on your flesh for weeks all right that's very respectable so we're gonna be okay so we maybe store your sweet blood into bottles and keep it like a fine wine no bad ideas okay yes.

Flattering to know it's sweet.

We could turn you into spawn to do our bidding.

Okay, here's the deal: we really have incredibly important business elsewhere.

Oh, so they all laugh together.

Yeah, ha ha ha.

I laugh like I'm

so I'm willing to make a deal with you to get me out of here.

The Baron

walks over to Calliope

and goes,

Oh, this one speaks to us like an equal, like a peer.

Really?

Yes, perhaps we could

turn you.

If you turn me, would you

let me loose afterwards?

To never see the sun again?

To spend all of your days in tastefully decorated Victorian mansions, hosting tastefully erotic parties.

As an alternate idea, you mentioned that you were a little bored

and that your parties are all feeling the same.

How about instead of just draining our blood, you hunt us for sport.

You give us a little head start and we run through the gardens.

Maybe you've got like a labyrinth out there or something.

And you try and just like take us down one by one.

That could be fun.

That could liven things up.

I'll stay in my cup.

It's such a good idea because I've got some cats that if you get them playing before they eat, they are so much hungrier.

They love the food more.

You hear various ohs from the crowd.

You want to get, I need to get a little sweat going first because otherwise, it's just going to be real gamey.

Oh, yeah, you'll get our blood pumping just right.

Biting in will be like a guy's a meat to gusher.

See, the Baron goes over to you, Saul, and goes, Your idea is quite sporting.

Yes, indeed.

So perhaps a compromise is in order.

I would shake your hand, but it's currently changed.

Perhaps we leave it for fate to decide.

If my hunger should take me, and I should rip out your throat, then we'll have a feast.

If you survive,

we might invite you to dine on the others.

You see, he leans in to bite you, Saul, when suddenly, BAM!

An enormous fireball blows a hole in the wall, knocking back half of the crowd of vampires.

A fire starts instantly, and the aristocrats begin screaming and ripping their masks off.

Or the ones that didn't have their masks off start ripping them off.

The other ones take on these like feral, very unhot vampire faces.

You see spotlights shining in through the holes in the walls before goblins on repelling ropes swing in and begin shooting at the vampires with Gatling guns.

They shriek as silver bullets tear through them.

And amidst the chaos, you see the adult boy wizard Albin flies in on a broom and throws a vial of holy water at Baron Archibald, who shrieks and grabs his face as steam comes off of him.

Albin yells, get to the fucking airship!

You see Albin cast dispel magic on a nearby device that seems to be enchanting the cuffs and you feel their magical grip on you weaken and we are going to go into initiative.

Fuck yeah.

Everyone has 18 for some goddamn reason.

Saw you are first to act with the highest decks.

That's my guy.

First of all, I do a fit check on Albin.

I want to see what he's wearing.

Is he wearing like a sick-ass duster?

You see, Albin looks like absolute shit.

Like he's been up for like two days trying to figure out where you were.

You see that he is drooling.

He has bloodshot eyes and just like four cans of Monster Energy drink falls out from his pack as he rides in.

Borderline irresponsible for him to be on a broom right now.

Get in the fucking airship, Saul.

You don't got to ask me twice.

I kiss both his cheeks.

I grab one of his monster energies.

I pour it all over my flesh.

You instantly kind of start to turn green, but you do begin to moisten up.

So here's what I will say.

Here's what there is still a little bit of challenge for you to get out of here, right?

Right.

So you see, Saul, you've got at your table this one vampire, Archibald, who's grabbed his face.

So he's in opportunity attack range of you.

You see one vampire at each of the tables.

They were all starting to like go in towards you.

Um, and you see there's one that's like blocking the exit.

The other ones are all being fought by various members of Mob Goblin who look like they came ready for a vampire fight.

So

those guys look like they're able to handle themselves.

There's basically three lesser vampires that are at your guys' tables.

There's one greater vampire, and then one that is like kind of blocking the window.

Okay, well, clearly, this one's the leader.

You said Archibald was like clutching his face?

Yeah, he's like clutching his face because Albin just did some damage to him by throwing a potion, by throwing like a holy water thing.

And you do see that most of this room looks like if you can get past these guys, you can get to the airship.

But you do hear Archibald screaming for help, and you hear skittering, like the sounds of more like vampire spawn

coming to help.

All right, I got to shut this guy's yapper up.

I'm going to try and stunning strike Archibald.

Hell yeah.

Go ahead and give me your attack.

15 and a 28.

15 does not hit.

28 hits so hard.

So you see,

he gets his wits back about him after he has this holy water steaming on his face and goes like, oh, good show.

But I'm afraid I parried that one.

Ah!

And then you break his nose on the next one.

He'll make a constitution-saving throw.

Correct.

It's DZ18 now because we leveled up.

Oh, yes.

I had you guys level up between sessions.

Yeah.

That big escape.

That is a four.

He fails.

So he is stunned, and this dude would have had legendary action.

So you see, this dude right now is just grabbing his face and is not able to act.

Saw you got the rest of your turn here.

Okay, great.

I'm going to take just a bundle of yarn and shove it in his mouth so if you can't fight me.

And then I'm going to head towards the vampire that's guarding the door and just try and head-butt the shit out of him.

Sweet.

Yeah, you make a mad dash through this room that is now like completely on fire.

And I'll say that you do see those, like you need your equipment a little bit less than everybody else does, but you do see that there's this big bag of equipment that is stacked neatly in the corner here near like a chest.

Ooh, can I like throw people their weapons?

Totally.

Great action.

You just start tossing swords and stuff.

Kenna grabs her hammer.

Callie grabs her lance.

Calder grabs his sword.

You guys aren't going to have time to put your armor on, but you can grab it in the bag here.

There's an extra cup in here if anyone needs one.

Oh, double cup.

Kenna obviously doesn't want one.

Okay, I want it.

Calder.

Claver is what protects you.

You don't need a cup.

Okay, Callie, me and you for this cup right now.

I take off my gloves.

I'm ready to fight for it.

Okay, so as you guys are still arguing about the cup, Saul, you still have, you can do your bonus extra flurry of blows if you want to know I got it.

On this, on this lesser vampire that's blocking the exit.

Okay, yeah, flurry of blows, do more attacks.

Yeah, hisses at you and tries to spring at you to stop you from escaping.

Sorry, but too much is at stake.

I pause to see if he laughs before punching him.

Giggles, oh,

and then goes to bite you.

Got him.

Nat 20.

Sick.

Yeah.

Okay.

Nat 20 and a 28.

Both definitely hits.

Natural eight on the roll, so is stunned.

So punch him right in the face.

And I'll say this guy's right near the window.

With your second attack, you can do a five-foot shove, and you shove this dude into the Shadowfell Knight, and he is just fucking gone.

Nice.

Does that mean I can get the temp HP?

You definitely can get the temp HP HP.

All right, cool.

So this guy flies out of the castle.

And Saul, as you look out, you see that you are in this cliffside mansion, the one that you saw while you were flying around, this vampire party.

Above you is the balcony where you had seen them all outside.

And you see dozens more vampire spawn, spider crawling down at you.

Get them!

Get them!

We actually have to leave.

Got another party to get to.

But below, you see Mob Goblin's airship hovering with Darg at the helm.

Come on, jump down!

Darg, you son of a bitch.

Here we go.

All right.

I finger gun Darg as I...

Wait, we'll trade pleasantries later

as I leap into the night.

Hell yeah.

Saul leaps out, having cleared the way.

Oh, can we say this is maybe this is too much, too many actions?

Could I tie a rope and like leap, like basically bungee leap towards the airship so that there's like a zipline for everyone?

Yeah, sure.

All right, cool.

I'll do that.

You tie a rope to yourself and jump off.

I'll say even throw it back to these guys.

You're light enough for Calder and Callie to hang on to you.

Saul has gotten down onto the airship.

Saul, you splat down there on your frog feet and join the rest of the goblins down here.

Callie, you are next to act.

Okay,

these magic...

Cuffs, these magic-preventing cuffs, I want them.

You want them?

I want to steal them all because we're up against mages.

Okay, hell yes.

All right, so here's how this is going to work.

I'll say if you can break them off,

you think Mob Goblin, you probably would only need one, and Mob Goblin could probably reverse engineer it or Albion.

Right.

I'm going to straight up cast shatter on the like podium I was on to try to get Ripple.

Hell yes.

Okay, now that they're not magically enchanted, they no longer stop you from casting spells.

You cast shatter, they break off cleanly, and now you have these these like rune-covered shackles that look like they could be enchanted again to do what they just did to you.

Okay.

And you've got a blood drinker vampire, one of these lesser vampires right on top of you here who hisses and goes to bite you.

Okay, I'm going to reach out to the serpent queen and I'm going to say...

Serpent queen, we need your starlight in these darkened times and I'm going to cast a storm of radiance.

Oh and I wanna basically try to

get as many vampires as I can without without hitting Kenna or Calder.

Okay.

Rad.

Is this a new spell?

Yeah, so I unleash a storm of flashing light.

I'm imagining it as starlight and raging thunder.

10 foot radius, 40 foot high cylinder centered on a point you can see within range, while in area creatures have the blinded and deafened conditions and they can't cast spells with a verbal component.

Sick.

Okay,

what kind of save do they make, Khan?

Khan save, yeah.

Okay, great.

I will go ahead and roll for them.

God, what a perfect Callie spell.

I love it.

Yeah.

Now it's a party.

Okay, you see, Archibald is weirdly the only one that saves of the vampires that are like kind of in your way.

The other ones that were going to get opportunity attacks on Canna and Calder are affected by the Radiance.

So there is this explosion of star fire that comes out of Callie's Lance.

You see these bright lights.

all of the vampires in the room shriek and turn feral and try to turn away from it.

Looks like it definitely affected the blood drinker vampires that are near your allies.

So

anyone who failed took 37 damage.

Whoever saved takes half of that.

Sick.

But I think from what I can tell, everyone's blinded and deafened.

Yes.

So it looks like they're going to have a very hard time getting off their opportunity attacks.

You do still have movement if you'd like to use it.

I feel as though the way is is paved.

I'm jumping out.

Hell yeah.

Going to that shit.

Callie, I will say, as you cast that spell,

normally when you use starfire and stuff, you feel this very like natural kind of bond with the wild and stuff when you call upon starfire.

This time you find a

deep anger and hatred behind the magic as you cast it.

Oh my god, that means that Marigold is being tortured or something.

Okay, all the more reason.

Let's move, people.

Callie, you run and jump out the window and join Saul aboard the airship.

One dude, one of the guys that you just hit, is gonna take an opportunity attack with disadvantage, tries to swipe at you as you get by, but you're golden.

Calder, that is your turn.

All right, I'm gonna move through this storm and try to slice a bunch of vampires on my way out.

Cool.

Yeah.

17, 26,

and

a 19 19 to hit.

All three hit.

46 damage.

Okay, you stab into this vampire.

It shrieks.

A beam of like necrotic energy comes out of its mouth and it bursts into bats and then turns to dust and flies away.

Oh, and one of those bats almost hit me in the nuts.

And that's why you wear a cup, Kenneth.

Jackknife into the open

air towards the airship.

Hell yeah.

You run out, you jump out into the open air.

You see rain coming down.

Dark's trying to keep the airship steady, but there's a bit of a storm.

And Kenna follows suit, follows after you, Calder.

You guys all jump down onto the ship.

You see Albin and a bunch of the goblins on their next turn jump down after you.

Dark looks at you guys, gives a nod, hits the igniter, and you

fly off into the night.

Yeah, dude.

Sorry, that's not the sort of sucking we like to do.

Yeah, we're the ones who suck, not you.

I scream into the night.

You see, Albin runs over to you.

I asked, are you alright?

Are any of you hurt?

I mean, we're great now.

How did you find us?

You've been missing for two days.

Two days?

What the fuck is happening?

Well,

we don't know everything that's been going on.

What's happening with Syrah?

We can talk about everything else in a second.

Is she fucking alive?

She's definitely alive.

There's like a full-on propaganda thing happening right now with Queen Jovir.

She's trying to pin it all on Syra.

It's working to a large extent, but her life is safe until Jovir decides to do a grand display.

And we've heard that she plans to do a coronation along with the execution to make herself high queen.

A core execution.

Huh.

Okay, well, we gotta break her out.

Yes, yes.

I'm sorry, we we heard about the insanity at the summit.

Wait a second, Albin, before we go any further, cast non-detection on me, please.

Oh, good call.

You see, yeah, Albin takes a moment, casts a non-detection on you.

They can scry on me, so, okay.

All right.

Yes,

we'll try to keep you not detected.

But luckily, I was able to detect you.

I've been tracking you, Sol, as I had told you before, through your magical items and stuff that I've been familiar with.

I saw that you were in Shadowfell around the time that everything went down at the summit, and you weren't moving.

We learned that your location at a certain point was a known vampire lair, so we gathered the troops and got here as fast as we could.

I'm sorry it took so long.

We had to do a ritual to change the rift of the material plane to Shadowfell, and then Garash got us a favorable wind and we moved as fast as we could.

Wow, you got here just in time.

God, you can't ask for better friends.

I'll tell you that much.

Yes.

Um,

well, in the interest of finding Syrah, I'm wondering if maybe you could use this.

Uh, Saul's gonna pull out the orb he took from the Fate Bringers.

Yeah.

Would you be able to engineer this?

Because this was showing us everything that was happening at the summit.

I don't know if it's still functioning, if you can hack into it, but it might be able to give us a lead as to where Syrah is.

You see, he looks into it and he goes, this is not in and of itself a magical device that acts on its own.

This is a spellcasting focused for a diviner, essentially.

But we might be able to get something out of it.

I can get it down to Ma Goblin and we can look at it.

But in the meantime, I think we should get to the Fey Wild and get to Garash.

We're trying to gather the troops here.

Okay, yeah.

I want to speak to Ma Goblin too.

I have these cuffs that they use so that we couldn't cast spells.

And we will really...

The Fatebringer mages are very powerful and we need to figure out a way to neutralize them.

And I'm wondering if she can turn these cuffs into something we can use.

Interesting.

Yes, let's take these down to Ma.

The portal to the Fey Wild is open, so Garash can pull us on the wind, but he doesn't want to overexert himself like he did last time.

We have a few hours on the ship.

Yeah, I feel like I don't want to pull anything.

Yeah, I feel like if we could turn these into like a lasso or something.

Wow.

That would be, I will feel better about using that.

Yee-haw.

This is like a cowboy thing that's happening now.

They say in the Fae Wild.

Yee-haw.

Can you picture us with like cowboy chaps okay so you guys can you picture the little vampire if you guys keep talking about this we're gonna end up getting kidnapped by cowboys you realize that right so let's just not manifest it we are so good at manifesting we manifested the vampires

okay so let's stop let's stop let's stop okay everyone's thinking about money

so you guys all think about money uh-huh um and albin leads you down into the hull of the ship and you see ma goblin the stocky frost goblin sitting in front of her display of magical projections and screens and she looks up at you guys as you approach oh good you are not vampires

no sadly

sorry we suck in the other way yeah

right yes yes

you see Albany punk rock way that's the other way not like in the being bad way I know what you mean there's three ways to suck right punk rock

being actually bad or being a vampire

which basically like through a straw Right, okay.

Yeah, language is.

And that's the only three or four.

Yeah, yeah, true.

All through a straw after this point.

Very good, very good.

You see, Albin walks over, hands her the cuffs, and goes, Ma, Callie wanted to see if you could recreate this.

There are cuffs that stop you from casting spells.

Yeah, we faced off with some

mages who were also quite sturdy, so I'm really worried about a rematch.

Ah, yes.

And I feel like if there's something that could sort of take them out, like a lasso try and let a lasso

get a couple of them together.

Is there like a cowboy thing going on now?

Or

we're now that you mention it.

Wow, that's interesting.

It's on the vision board.

We're not talking about cowboys because we're not going to get kidnapped by a cowboys.

We're not thinking about cowboys.

We're not talking about it.

If you talk about it, it doesn't come true.

Birthday rules.

You see, Mogoblin looks at the cuffs and goes, oh, okay, interesting design.

This is basically a spell conduit.

It works in tandem with like a machine or a spell casting focus that casts a spell.

In this case, pretty much like a powered-up counter-spell or ray of sickness or even like a vampire's bite, like essentially siphoning life away from somebody.

Oh, that did make sense, because I was really dry when I woke up, too.

I think it was partially because I hadn't been in water for a while, but maybe there's some sort of like desiccation element built into there, too.

Do you want to touch Saul?

Do I want to touch soul?

Some of the dry skin.

It's okay if you want, yeah.

Dry?

Yeah, just like for science, for research.

No offense.

I see very you're very flaky skin, honestly.

I don't need the look.

I've got like the Hugh Jackman veins right now.

I hadn't thought of that.

Hugh Jackman veggie.

Yeah, because like when he's like on set, he like doesn't drink water, so his muscles look extra big.

Right, but that doesn't make your skin dry.

It really makes you look vascular.

Very famously, people get wet and oil themselves up to look.

Yeah, you oil, you wet the exterior, but you stay dry on the inside.

That's what you're doing.

Right, but

you're talking about Saul here, who's saying that he has dry skin.

It's just, it.

Dry on the inside, wet on the outside.

Ma, I don't understand what you don't understand.

Okay, all right.

Let me tell you what I do understand.

These shackles, not too complicated.

They will take not much time to recreate at all.

But the machine that casts the spell that can kind of use these as a conduit, give me a day or two and I think I can fashion something for you.

Do you know much about Shadowfell?

Like, is this kind of magic weird?

You see, she looks at it and she goes, definitely a little weird.

Definitely vampire cuffs.

Strange.

Is it weird for Shadowfell?

I...

I haven't honestly spent much time in Shadowfell, but there is certainly, you know, different magic.

You even see your friend Garash is able to use more powerful magic when the gate to the Fey Wild is open so there are definitely certain types of magic that are native to certain types of planes this for me is actually very exciting because I do not get to study much magic from Shadow Fell so this now that I have this you've done a very good job bringing this to me I think I can make something of this and when's the last time you were here the last time I was in Shadow Fell never

Oh, so this is your first time?

Yes, definitely.

Oh, very quick, true.

Well, I'd say we we should do some sightseeing, but that's how we ended up in the vampire tower to begin with.

But we got you a souvenir from Shadowfell, so that works.

Yes, that is.

Perfect.

Yes, yes.

And that both of us have to be able to do that.

I look at Calder with panic in my eyes, not realizing that he's referring to the lasso.

Yeah, Calder, give Ma the souvenir.

Right.

I gave her an orb.

Callie gave her cuffs.

What did you get her?

I felt like I had something to do with the cups, but we should have...

We are going to get them back at the end of the day.

So I guess not a souvenir more of a show and tell element i start reaching for them

right right you see she pulls them back oh no right um so i will look into these i think i should be able to have something for you um you see she also takes the crystal ball from albin and goes and if this is from the mages that you would like to incapacitate perhaps it it might be even quicker to turn around now that have their spellcasting focus.

Ah, right.

Yes.

Easier to make something to work against a specific opponent than to make something that is just for general use.

So something like this might normally take me a few days to reverse engineer, but I think I could do it a little faster now.

Wow.

Yeah.

Keep your enemies close and their stuff closer.

Indeed.

You see,

as she's looking at all this stuff, you do see it looks like she's been tracking a lot of the stuff that's been going on in the Fey Wild and everything.

She has all these screens, very like kind of Ozzy Ozzy Mandius from Watchmen type thing.

And you see like various news articles and intelligence coming in from sources on the material plane and the Fae Wild.

And you can clock even just from some of the headlines and pictures and stuff that you see that there are a lot of stories about Queen Cyrilla and Cyra.

Oh my god.

Okay, can I, are there like any pictures of her?

Because I'm really worried because the last thing that happened is I like reached for her hand and we said, we're in this together.

And I don't know if she knows if she thinks that we like sold her out to Jovir or if I abandoned her, or if I got scared at the last minute, like old Calliope and just peace or something stupid like that.

Um, go ahead and give me, I guess you guys can do either like history or insight checks just to kind of digest the information.

And I'll give you background information based on how well you guys roll, but you'll definitely get some stuff no matter what.

I'm looking just at Syrah's eyes and see if she thinks if it looks like she thinks she's alone in this

19

17 for Saul.

22 for history.

Okay, great.

Okay, so Callie, you see that most of the pictures of Syrah are from her like wanted poster.

So she does look alone in that she was alone at the time.

So she's got this.

She's a barometer.

She thinks I've a traitor.

Correct.

You don't get any kind of personal information like that because if anything, they're trying to put out there like she's this big threat.

So, there's this picture of her as this very fierce Summer-Oladron, all fiery with this fierce look of determination.

And you see on the screens, a lot of the main headlines are, and I'll say Calder is digesting all of this super fast.

You see a lot of like obituaries for Queen Cyrilla about the like hundreds of years of peace that she reigned over the Seeley Kingdom.

There's also a lot of favorable coverage of Queen Jove,

who is apparently, quote, deeply saddened by her sister's passing.

It's an NPR nightmare.

Yeah.

She's promising to bring justice to her killers.

And in the news about Cyra,

you see that she is being presented not only as Cyrilla's assassin, but as a sort of harbinger of the apocalypse.

You guys

have sort of privately forged an alliance with Oberon where he has become willing to help humanoids if it means saving the Fae wild, but no one else knows about that.

So to the scholars and sages who just know of Oberon's prophecy, it was originally meant for the serpents to destroy humanity if they reap too much from nature.

So that's the only publicly known information about the serpents.

Oh, because she's got a serpent.

Yes.

Exactly.

So Jovere and her court are using that to propagate the idea that Syrah is an agent of Oberon trying to destroy the Fae.

She's a snakesman of the apocalypse.

And what?

What about like what are the pictures looking like about sweet little Marigold?

She does not look sweet.

There are pictures and recreations and stuff of her breathing fire down onto Cyrilla.

They're not showing any information or anything on her in captivity or something, just that she's been apprehended.

They're using the least flattering photos of her.

That's That's not fair.

Well, I mean, they'd beautiful if that fire had been trained on the right person, maybe.

All right, yeah, there's a passion to them for sure.

Yeah.

They're really amping up the fear-mongering to try to unite people under Jovere.

And they mention you guys

and by name and that you are still on the loose with two of the serpents.

By the actual name.

By Calliope Petrichor, not Maeve Haypenny or anything like that.

Really, yes.

Yes, you guys knew this.

You guys have had wanting posters about you.

Feels less flattering than it should be.

Yeah.

Okay.

Jovier is reported to be, quote, hesitant to consolidate the crowns and take on her sister's mantle, but high-ranking advisors from both boards.

Oh, exactly.

Yep.

I know it's a computer screen, but I rip up the computer screen.

Hey, hey, easy, easy.

Oh, fuck.

Jovier's going on hot ones.

How are you so strong that you just rip up a screen?

That was nuts.

You see that high-ranking advisors from both courts believe that only a high queen or empress can protect them against the rebels, automatons, and all of the chaos that threatens the realms.

That is the main narrative, but you do see Mogoblin pushes through and shows you guys some pushback.

Not everyone in the Seeley court.

Yeah, show us the independent zines.

Yes, there are some independent zines.

Okay.

You see that not everyone in the Seeley court is buying it.

The fact that Cyrilla was killed at a summit between the two courts is sort of a double-edged sword for Jovere.

It makes her look good for capturing her sister's killer and stopping the serpent, but it also makes her look like she may have had something to do with it, because we do know that she did have something to do with it.

So because of that, there is some Seelee opposition to consolidating the crowns, but you see that the Seeley are fighting amongst themselves.

Some people are suggesting that Cyrilla's husband, King Lesterborn, who's pretty much just a king consort, should be made full Seeley king, but he's not as popular or as magically powerful as his late wife.

That's what I remember about Lesterborn.

I mean, I know he's not like, I know he's not the one who did this, but now I'm like,

is there any chance he's conspiring?

There's not much to be known about him other than he's Cyrilla's husband.

His claim to fame is being on her arm.

It's just being a beautiful Eladron man who's like impeccable style.

I love him

he starts all the most fun fashion trends he could never had had have had anything to do with this you think he probably didn't have anything to do with it there's really nothing I mean he is in danger now and he does not you see like articles about like him saying he doesn't want to be the king

you see uh there are other names being thrown out and various other nobles vying for power.

And so even the dissenting voices that are against Jovir

are not united.

There is just chaos and this sort of power vacuum on the Seeley side.

And many of the noble houses of the summer court are declaring for Jovir.

So some of them are just fully...

on board with this idea of Jovir needing to protect them and whatnot.

And who are the loudest voices,

the loudest dissenting voices?

Because they could be potential allies.

Yeah, right.

A lot of the loudest voices dissenting are of Green Knights of ones that you did not see as being compromised when you were looking at that Mildred's murmur.

So there does seem like there is a military force that has essentially declared themselves like independent and like enemies of the Unseale Court.

They are staying true.

They're still fighting for Cyrilla, even though Cyrilla no longer exists.

I wish there was a way to expose Leonor because he's like working with...

He was working with Jovir, right?

Correct.

So the captain of the Green Knights, there are a bunch of false Green Knights, one of them being Glenn, one of them being this other guy who was the one who pushed Cyrilla.

Not much is being made about that because in the sort of chaos of the event, no one saw that except for you guys who were watching like through magical means.

So there is this compromised element of Green Knights.

I wonder if anyone saw, though.

There must be some Green Knight that clocked it, right?

There may have been, because there are some that are opposing Jovier, despite it would be much easier to go along with it.

And much like Albin had said up on the deck, it is rumored that Cyra will be killed when Jovir is coronated.

This would obviously distract.

When is it?

When's the coronation?

They're not saying it.

It seems like she will do it when it is politically convenient.

It seems like right now she's sort of circling the wagons, getting as many allies as she can to make it seem like it was their idea to make her the high queen of the Fae.

Then once that is like an acceptable narrative, she will then use the theater

of justice to distract from her own power grab and unite the people against the common enemy.

In this case, Syrah.

Okay.

Oh my fucking god.

What's the material plane saying, if anything?

Or is this all kind of localized to Fey Wild?

A lot of it is in the Fey Wild, but when something happens on like a sister plane like Shadowfell or the Fey Wild or the Material Plane, there are people that are concerned about it.

It is less of a deal on the Material Plane, but people are aware of it.

Okay.

And check on the Esri Gazeri, which is the Esri local newspaper.

You see they're like rumblings of trouble in the Fey Wild.

It's just worse information.

I can't believe this isn't more popular.

I love the Gazesri.

I love it.

Can we flip to the cartoons?

Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing.

It's like four pages of comics.

Calder, can you use your massive fingers to flip to the cartoons up on the screen?

Calder swipes to the back of the Gazesri.

You all really have to stop treating screens like they are paper.

They're getting there.

They really are.

You do see it as a touchscreen and it does swipe.

Okay, you got lucky.

You got lucky on that one.

Yeah, you see, there are really good

Marmaduke comics.

Whoa!

Calder cracks up.

He's so big.

Yep.

You've done it again, Marmaduke.

The joke is that Marmaduke is big.

You see,

Garfield

hates Mondays.

Oh my God, so do I.

Calliope cracks a smile and then she realizes that these comics, which usually make her laugh so hard, aren't even affecting her right now because she's so despondent.

Yeah, Calder remembers that his best friend's sister is about to be executed and

laughs a little less hard at Heathcliff.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Sir Petric, or are you more of like a Heathcliff person?

No, usually I love these.

Usually I love Mamaduke and Cough.

Yeah, like you haven't even giggled at Peanuts, your favorite comic strip.

No.

Actually, you're confusing.

You

are confusing me with someone else.

I don't fuck with the little folks.

Mar Goblin, is there any chance that you could dispatch someone to at least get in range of wherever Syrah is?

I don't even know if that's possible, but I'm really worried about her.

Because it feels like if they suddenly get desperate, they might just

make a big show of offering her to distract from some other piece of news.

You see,

Ma Goblin puts a hand out on your shoulder, sort of a comforting touch, and goes,

We don't want to compromise ourselves.

There's a good chance some of this news is coming out to frustrate you and to draw you out of hiding.

If she catches you all, then

all is lost.

You're right.

Oh, I see.

So, actually...

They probably won't hurt Syrah because they want us and the other serpents.

Yeah.

They're using her to lure us in.

Even if they were to just kill Syrah, I do think they are trying to get their ducks in a row politically before they do something like that.

They need someone to take the fall, because right now,

if they didn't have Syrah more fingers would point at Jovir.

Is there any way to get a message to Syrah?

You can say no.

I know it's like probably not possible.

You see, she

just sort of nods and lets you answer your own question.

Yeah.

Anyways, I'm going to take another stab at Mama Duke.

He's big now.

He's really big.

He thinks he's small.

Yeah, he runs in.

He jumps on

the dad's lap.

He doesn't realize how big he is.

But

the dog is just really big, not really a lap dog.

If anything, it seems kind of tragic that he doesn't realize how big he is.

God damn it.

Calder's crying.

Think of how dangerous it must be to think you're small when actually you're huge.

And imagine, imagine being a cat that just hates the beginning of every week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you really hate Bud Days Garfield or do you hate your life?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where do you draw the line?

Because days are just kind of arbitrary.

Charlie France is trying to to kick the football.

He just wants to kick it.

He wants to see it go sailing through the air.

Why do they take it from him?

Oh, brother.

As you guys all cry together,

you feel the airship begins to shake a bit, and it feels like you guys are picking up speed.

And you see Albin

grabs you guys and goes,

We must be getting closer to the rift.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

We're going to meet Garash?

Yes, uh, he has somewhere that should be safe for us even in a time.

So we're getting back into the Fae Wild?

Yes, so the material plane, Shadowfell, and the Fae Wild are all reflections of each other.

So the rift in the sky here, we were able to make it the Fae Wild.

So we're gonna be able to travel right there.

Okay.

All right, closer to Syrah.

Yeah.

One step closer.

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I think I look out over Shadowfell and I kind of say, like, I'm sorry I met you this way, but I hope to meet you again someday.

Yeah,

you head on on the deck and you look out over it as you are speeding by.

You see that many of the goblins up here are having to like hang on as you guys travel fast on this like magical wind that Garash has conjured to kind of pull you guys towards the rift.

Below, Callie, you can see all these dark, craggy cliffs and gray plains of rocks.

They sort of blur as you pass, and then you look up and you see in the starless sky a green rift at the same place it'd be on on the material plain atop the ruins of mount forge you guys travel towards it and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until the darkness is replaced by bright green lights and you see the matter around you warps and twists and then you feel a rush of spring air as you find yourselves back in the fae wild

you feel The sun shines in the distance as it breaks over the horizon.

It is the morning of a new day and dark.

Wow, we're like flying through the sky in the morning.

Yeah.

Wow, we are like the chariot of dawn.

Racing

fucking so rad.

Dark spins the wheel and the great wind begins to carry you guys up and up and up until you can no longer see the greenery of the spring court below.

There is nothing but blue sky and fluffy white clouds and then you see it.

A great castle appear in the heavens.

Wow, he wasn't kidding.

Yes, he had told you about his little place in the clouds that he was hoping to get back to.

You see these great mystical birds circle it like it's calling to them.

The walls of the castle look to be made of magically shaped cumulus clouds, white fluffy towers and bridges and doors.

There are huge windows that look into the great hall and as you get closer, you see that they are wind walls.

Oh.

And Darg lands the ship in the castle gardens full of topiaries topiaries made of clouds.

As you land, you see Garash, this enormous cloud giant in purple and silver robes, exits the main archway and comes out to greet you.

Welcome back, Peregrine.

Come in.

We have much to discuss.

Of course.

Okay.

Can I see if Garash has acquired any new modern stuff from his time in the material plane?

Uh, yes, you see that he is wearing a very funky little watch doohickey that looks like it was um some tech from like Ma Goblin.

A step counter.

Are you tracking your sleep or something?

It's a communicator that also tracks my sleep and my steps.

But you fly.

Do you get any steps when you fly?

No, unfortunately.

We need to fix that because I've been going around all day and I've barely gotten any credit for it.

I'm sure, you know, and Albi can tweak that.

I'm sure.

I've been up since 3 a.m.

and I have 500 steps.

That's off.

Can you believe that?

That's off, right?

I think that's off.

That's low.

That's off.

You have Lappy Bird on that thing?

It just came back.

It just came back.

It's incredible.

Yeah, you see, Garage sort of floats around, so he really is not getting his steps in.

Damn.

But he...

Brings you guys in.

You guys enter the castle and walk into a great hall.

There's an opening in the giant domed ceiling that lets the sun cascade in.

The centerpiece is a hovering storm cloud that constantly rains into a fountain below it.

There are perches around for beasts of the sky.

You see phoenixes and griffins and pegasi.

You also see the goblins of Mob Goblin, ones that

weren't on the ship with you guys.

Other allies from Ezra are forging weapons of war, kind of getting ready for any battles that might be coming.

You see there are constant gusts of wind that pull things around the room as if Garash constantly is using telekinesis.

Insane that this doesn't doesn't count towards my steps, right?

Yeah, really.

I mean, does it build muscle?

Telekinesis?

Yes, look at this.

I'm sweating.

You see, he just has a giant vein in his head as he concentrates on all these spells.

Okay, so it's just your forehead muscles.

Yeah.

You see them very.

It looks at first like he's got like a very creased forehead, but you realize it's just like jacked.

Wow.

Yes.

That's so crazy.

Well, thank you for lending your estate.

It looks like you've let sort of like people making weapons take over.

Yes, well, of course.

Well, I wouldn't be here without you all.

And we are aligned on the same cause, so you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Do you

literally

scratch your back?

Yeah, do you?

It's more of a figure of speech, but if you'd like to.

Well, we should all do it.

I do a massage train.

Alright, yeah, I walk up on Calder's back, and I stand on a state.

Yeah, and then I stand for Calder to give me a massage, and then I'll go to give him a massage, Garosha a a massage, and Garosh, you're massaging Sol.

All right, yes.

Okay.

He just reach back there.

Yeah, Grosh uses one giant pinky to massage his back.

I think I, let's, I want one of those.

All right.

Touches your back.

Wow.

Okay, I got the hot, steamy.

Very well.

That goes and gives you a little massage.

Oh, that was chiropractic.

Well, what have you done?

What is you're supposed to warn her if you're gonna give her a readjustment?

I wasn't- Look, I'm a giant.

I'm sorry.

I didn't.

I'm sorry, okay?

Okay, okay.

What is this?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm incredibly stressed and we're delaying the inevitable, difficult conversation.

Yes, I understand.

I've obviously we've caught up on the madness that happened at the summit.

I'm sorry for what happened to your sister.

Thank you.

That's that's meaningful.

Right now,

right now, I just really wish I could get a message to her and tell her that we didn't mean for it to happen like this and that we're coming for her.

If you have any way that you could send a bird to whisper in the window of her jail cell, or I just might be able to do something like that.

But

also, I think a more effective message might be burning down Jovir's kingdom.

Yeah.

I love that idea.

Okay.

If we do do option A in tandem with option B, her favorite bird is a phoenix.

Noted.

Alright, with that, why don't we get down to business?

See, Garash brings you over to a giant globe made of spinning winds.

It looks like a storm here, sort of in the middle of the Great Hall.

You see, he puts his hand on it and reveals a map of the Fey Wild.

You see, markers begin glowing to mark the different areas controlled by the different factions.

In the west, you see a huge red dot, and Garash goes, This is where Syrah and Marigold are.

And the winter court is controlled by Jovere, as it has been.

But she's been able to bring most of the summer court to her side as well.

When we eventually take the fight to her, we'll be facing the might of the unsealy and sealy armies combined.

And have your birds seen anything?

I gesture to all the birds here.

Have your birds seen anything about what's going on with Marigold?

What are they doing?

Are they torturing her?

Are they conducting experiments on her?

Syrah is being kept in the dungeons below the Winter Court Castle.

As for Marigold...

It is very difficult to

get information on the inside.

But if I had to guess, I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to charm her or somehow use her as a weapon on their side.

We know Jovir is super interested in utilizing the mythical beasts.

So that's one prize she's not going to give up on.

Okay, because I sort of like prayed to the Serpent Queen in a way and I felt her anger and wrath.

But maybe it's just that they're trying to radicalize our poor marigolds.

But if you felt that anger and wrath, that's good.

That means she hasn't submitted yet.

She's not aware of that.

No, the serpent queen, her mother.

Oh, perhaps you felt a mother's fury.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, I think so.

But I didn't know if it was because they were hurting her or not.

But if they're charming her, then that is its own hurdle, but yeah,

just fury at her being taken.

Yes.

I believe it would be in their best interest to keep Marigold physically at 100%.

That is quite a weapon.

Yeah.

But not all hope is lost.

To the east, you see he points over at the summer court where like the castle was where Queen Cyrilla once reigned.

You see a little blue dot surrounded by red dots.

There are loyalists to Cyrilla.

who correctly believe Jovir had something to do with her murder.

They're not buying the story that's being told.

They've locked themselves up in her old castle, in the summer court, and are being besieged by Jove's forces.

Is this the Green Knights?

Some of them.

Okay.

Okay.

So we can go and collect some allies.

What about the autumn court?

Yes, yes.

To the south, here you see a bunch of purple dots.

High Ember Lord Sharbin, along with his.

Yes, yes, yes.

Along with

Empire.

His ears must be burning more than usual.

Yes, are gaining ground in the Autumn Court.

Same with Bear Lane and the Automatons.

It is unclear whether they will combine forces, fight amongst themselves, or, in worst-case scenario, join Jovir.

Right.

So that is the question.

How do we get them to fight against each other?

Now that is interesting thinking.

Here I was thinking that maybe we'd try to win one of them over, but it might be easier just to light that powder cake.

Can we just send a bunch of ravens with conflicting messages?

Insult each other.

You see, Garash begins twiddling his fingers and goes, Oh, yes, I've been waiting to do something like this for the greater good.

Are you saying we might need to do machinations?

We just might.

We just might.

Machinations might be in order.

The north is likewise contested.

You see blue and red dots.

The glorious wave mother Akoralil and stone commander Basalt von Schale are doing battle with a large force of Tritons who have declared for Jovere.

Excellent job securing that alliance.

The North would be lost without it.

I uh I look at Saul.

Yeah, we uh we locked it down.

Garach arches and eyebrows.

Jay, you aren't dry anymore.

You are looking quite moist, my froggy friend.

Let's just say I caught the wave.

You old frog.

But yes, I think that they'll be loyal to our cause, thanks to everyone's efforts.

Excellent.

Well,

we do still need to secure more.

We should...

send representatives or create chaos amongst some of the neutral parties and try to win them over, and possibly gather any help that we can for the material plane if they'd be willing.

I'd say with Bear Lane and Charbin, we should send someone to see if we can get Berlane on our side.

But if not, then just try to

stoke the face.

I love that as a backup plan.

Stoke the flames of the Empire, as it were.

The High Ember Lord Charbin is many things, and Smart is not one of them.

Wait a second.

Belane is working with the Automatons.

What?

We're gonna go fight alongside the Automatons now?

I mean, it's the last thing I want to do, but

is that what it means to be Peregrine?

To utilize our enemies like that?

I don't know.

You see, Albin shrugs and goes, From all of our data, Alexandrite's the sort of core

virus, the core intelligence, is gone.

They sort of

are

aimless at the moment.

Is this how we win?

Is this how we totally erase her?

We show them a better way, or at least...

I don't know.

I don't know about you guys, but

I'm tired of letting destiny be decided for us.

If we have an opportunity to use this force to finally change things, to make the Fey Wild you want,

then

why don't we do it?

Yeah.

I say we look ahead.

Jovir is our enemy now.

Cool.

okay.

Yeah.

I mean, I trust all of you.

I just felt like I had to acknowledge.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

It's weird.

I feel weird to not call it out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, it's, I mean, Bear Laid seems cool, but also just seems down to kill or fight anyone, which seems like not the greatest leader for them.

But maybe they're just kind of looking for anybody.

I don't know.

But anyway, speaking of leaders, I could try to get the word out to General Broadsbeard, or maybe even if it looks up at Garash, if you could get me so I could get to Iredeep, maybe I could talk to General Broadsbeard.

I know she's got Balscuriel right there, so it might not be super easy, but maybe we could work something out with Borig and Balscurial as well.

I don't know.

Yeah, that sounds great.

I mean, we've...

We've made connections everywhere we've been.

We've got to reach out to Igneous and Elzor.

Even Princess Shiverblight could help.

My brothers, my brothers and the Ice Knife.

They want to know, too.

Garash nods and goes,

all promising leads.

But then, of course,

we will need the full might of the serpents if we want to stand a chance.

We can talk about how best to dispatch our friends and allies after, but I believe a meeting between you all and Oberon might be in order.

Yeah, I think if we can get Licrish and Honeysuckle at like full power, we have our best chance to break out Marigold.

Right.

Saul, do you think that your connection with Swag could get us to the Beastlands?

I think between him and Elder Frogson, maybe we can try and hitch a ride.

Sweet.

Find a back door.

Cool.

Yeah?

Absolutely.

Yeah, let's all gather around.

Hey, Albin, you want to get on in this?

Um, yeah, uh, yes.

Is it okay if we make some mushrooms on the floor here?

You see, uh, Karash nods.

Of course.

Before we go, is there anything else you wanted to discuss, Karash?

Oh, I th well, you'll probably come back here, I would think.

Okay, okay, okay.

I imagine.

Yes.

We'll be right back.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yes, I'll wait.

You see, he just stands completely still.

You can cook.

Yeah, you're right.

We'll be right back.

No, that's alright.

I'll just wait here.

Do you want food or you want to eat?

Do you like form clouds into the shape of food?

Yeah.

And pretend like you're eating it?

I sure do.

Oh, is that ultimately hollow?

Hmm.

No, I think it's fun.

Oh, great.

Can I have a giant sub?

Yes, you can.

Makes you a giant cloud sub.

Oh my god, I devour it.

Yeah, it tastes like water.

It's awesome.

I have a milkshake.

Yes, hands you a milkshake.

Well, I've always wanted to do this.

Saul takes a bunch of clouds and shapes them into a big donut and then like dips them into more clouds and it takes a big chomp.

All tastes like nothing.

It feels amazing.

Okay.

Yes, it's alright.

It's not the most fun, but you know, something I just sort of do idly.

Yes, yeah.

It's like kind of flipping a coin for you or something.

It's just like kind of something I do in the background.

We'll just vape instead.

Yeah, it's not like the first

thing that I would do.

It's like a third activity.

Anyway, I'll see you later.

Bye bye.

Saul, go ahead and give me a say like a wisdom saving throw or something as you go into like a deep meditation.

Okay.

17?

Saul.

You sit, you gather everyone around.

You gather Albin too for some reason.

I just want to show him a new trick.

Just nice to be a part of something honestly, yes.

Have you ever been to Beastlands?

No, I haven't.

I think you won't like it very much, but I'm excited

for you to see.

I'm an adventurer.

You know, again, I was kind of the fourth member of the party before

points at Shenna.

That's true.

Do you have a problem with me, dude?

I think you do Shiva.

He has a problem with everyone.

You have a problem with everyone.

You're very snippy.

Yes.

I just saved your ass.

I saved your ass from a vampire.

Thank you.

I said thank you.

Everyone, I'm just trying to focus on divining into another plane right now, see, yeah, Saul, your concentration almost breaks several times, trying to keep your old friends and your new friends both happy.

It's all okay, like Calder thinks about how Cyra really didn't like him either.

And he's like, oh, am I the problem?

And Saul tries to conceal a big smile as he sees all his friends squabbling.

Yeah, Saul, you go into a deep meditation and pull these other guys with you.

And you see a bunch of mushrooms and stuff as you make make a fairy circle around you.

And you see grass begins to grow in the circle.

And then, boop,

a little sunflower pops up.

Hi.

Hi.

We saw you down in Shadowfell.

In the vampire's den.

Me?

So one of you.

That wasn't me.

What?

No.

Oh, maybe it was Oberyn then.

I think the home was like a security system for the vampires.

No, I'm pretty sure it was Oberyn.

No.

Okay, okay.

You're the expert.

Yeah, I could have sworn it was Oberyn.

It really wasn't.

No.

It really had an Oberyn air in it.

Well, we'll ask.

Oberyn.

We'll ask.

It's good to see you, little one.

We found the third serpent.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, right.

It's a sad story.

Very sad.

People are mad.

People are mad.

Yeah, the serpent queen.

She's really mad.

Oh, no.

Yeah, she might eat you.

What?

She might eat you.

She's mad at me.

She's mad at you.

She's mad at you.

Points at Calder.

She's mad at you.

Points at Saul.

She looks at Albin.

I don't know who you are.

Oh, fuck you.

Fuck you.

Really, Albin.

Okay, you know her, Calder.

It's his.

He's the problem.

He's the problem.

You just said fuck you.

I'm the problem.

You just said fuck you to a flower.

You just said fuck you.

Fuck you.

See, the little flower holds up two little middle fingers.

It's antagonizing me.

This flower is antagonist.

It's not fucking flowing.

Well, you antagonizing me.

A mirror to your actions.

Yeah, fuck you.

This is like from one childhood friend to another.

Can you tell the flower to cool up?

By the way, Darg saved us.

You saved us.

I'll be the start of this.

I'm fucking out.

I am out.

No, you're sticking around.

You're sticking around.

Fine.

All right.

You're bringing me to somewhere that someone named the Serpent Queen is pissed at you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

God damn it.

This is going to be good for us, man.

Fine.

All right.

You're coming with.

Give us your shoe.

Give us one of your shoes.

Give us one of your shoes.

What?

I don't know why.

Calder's.

Why would I give you a shoe?

You're coming with us, but you're not allowed to have any fun.

And I think you won't have any fun if you're off a shoe.

I'm already not having fun.

That makes a lot of sense.

Give me off a shoe.

See, he takes a shoe and just throws it at Calder's head.

Yes.

Albin.

He's onto something, though.

I think that this could help you get in touch with your wild side.

This is going to unleash some serious potential for you.

Who throws a shoe?

Yes.

You're really, you're tense right now, man.

You're goddamn right.

I'm tense.

I'm sitting around finding out that my best friend is captured by goddamn vampires out of nowhere.

Where did the vampires come from?

Right?

Did you just call me your best friend?

Yes, Calder.

I called you my best friend.

Wow, I mean, I'm a little hurt, but I understand.

He's got a magnetism.

No, Cav all of you.

Wow.

I'm shaking.

I have the most history with Calder.

I was worried about Calder.

He is the one I was worried about.

He makes me see things differently, Albin.

Albin, it would just really honor me if you and your best friend Calder would accompany us to the Beastland.

So

it's kind of a part of me and who I am now, and I want you to see it.

Yes, of course.

Saul, of course, I'll come.

You see whispers in Saul's earhole.

You know you're my best friend, right?

Yeah, no, I just.

Calder needs a win.

Yes, I know.

Okay.

Calder gives Albin a solemn thumbs up.

Yes.

He's like going after this girl named Tristu, and it's just, it's not going well.

Yeah, okay, good, good, all right.

Two thumbs up.

Albin goes back and you see the flower shrugs and goes, are you guys ready to go?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, we are.

Yeah.

You see, reaches out a little leaf.

I reach out for the leaf.

You see, Callie gets...

tugged into the earth and disappears.

I dive after her.

You see, you hit your face into the cold dirt.

Albin, do something.

Just ask the the fucking flower, man.

I have nothing to do with this.

Sunflower, are you coming back for us too?

Yeah.

You see, flower takes you, Calder, and shoves you under the dirt.

Yo!

Then takes Albin and takes Sol and pulls you guys all under.

You guys all go through the clouds and begin free-falling from the sky into the beastlands.

You are plummeting towards a floating island in the air.

Around it, there is nothing but abyss.

As your body shifts shifts and you fall, you feel the temperature and see the light around you is abruptly changing.

There are multiple suns and moons that seem to revolve around this strange place, changing the climate and time based on where you are at any given moment.

You see, the centerpiece of this floating island is an ancient, enormous tree with gnarled branches and roots.

And as you fall towards it, you narrowly avoid being eaten by enormous birds the size of dragons who let out terrible shrieks as they snap at you.

Back off!

What the fuck?

Where the fuck have you taken me?

This didn't happen last time, I don't think.

You see, Albin goes to throw his shoe at one, but can't find his shoe.

Albin, throw me, throw me.

Throw Saul.

Saul knocks it out.

As you guys continue falling, you close in on the island, and you see Oberon reaches his branches out and breaks your fall.

You hit the first layer of leaves, and then another, then another, and then another, until you harmlessly plop onto the ground in front of this great tree that shades everything in its wake.

You see a face grows in the bark.

You have failed.

Mirigold is lost.

She's lost?

They've charmed her?

I mean

you lost her.

She was captured.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Just being sort of poetic.

It would be weird for a

giant tree man to say Mirigold.

She's can't read your face because of how wooden it is.

Yes.

You are being cryptic.

No, I got it.

But we can still get her back.

We need

more power, more allies, though.

If we're to have a chance.

Our deal was for you to return the serpents.

And in exchange,

I would reconstitute your mother's soul.

Looks at you, Callie.

The business with the avatars is something else.

You may plead your case to the serpent queen.

Oberon's leaves begin to wither away until he turns into a smaller dead tree.

The suns around the island all set at once, and one great moon rises.

The edges of the island extend to create an endless grassy plain, and you see a sky of endless stars.

You see a large cluster of them come together to form the constellation of the Serpent Queen who rages through the sky like a supernova.

Death!

Death to the mortals!

They have taken my daughter!

Yes, they took her, but we are going to make sure that they pay for it.

You see, this giant constellation begins to take on more of a corporeal form.

Shining scales of star fire lowers out of the sky and with great fury is so big she can go face to face with all of you guys and you feel the heat coming out of her nostrils just steam pure starfire anger she's right let us be your fangs let us sink your justice into the mortals that have done this she

snorts uh and you see her eyes turn fiery red and she goes, you, I have already given you my blessing And this is what happens.

You take my power and you waste it!

I think I'm going to produce a hyacinth flower, which is a flower of regret.

It's like an apology.

And I think I'll just step forward and I'll say, We are very, very sorry we were outsmarted, but the cause is not lost, okay?

We have a chance to get her back.

And I've met her.

Do you want to hear about her?

She's absolutely wonderful.

She's everything that you dreamed she'd be.

She's gorgeous and large and playful and spirited.

And she has a deep connection to my sister Syrah.

And both of them are captive right now.

And we're going to get her and we're going to get Syrah and you're going to meet her.

And you're just going to love her.

Please just give us another chance.

It isn't over.

I know it feels over, but it's just because she's been bewitched.

Uh, Callie, go ahead and give me a persuasion truck.

Okay, I will use my Emissary of Beasts.

Okay, 15 on the dice plus 15 from my persuasion because I just took expertise in it.

Plus 5

becomes 35.

It's not bad.

5 from Emissary of Beasts.

You see

this

enormous beast of pure starfire takes on a very human expression.

Like this great godly anger suddenly turns into

a mother's concern.

And you see her brow kind of furrows and she turns away from you guys a little bit.

Not wanting to kind of show her vulnerability, still wanting to maintain this visage of anger and righteous fury.

I think I'm going to reach out to the vulnerable side though and just dig in, dig my heels in even more.

You should see too the way she was with licorice and honeysuckle.

Licorice, honeysuckle, tell her.

You see

up in the constellations

the giant forms of licorice and honeysuckle flying through the air like shooting stars.

You're going to have quite a handful when the three of them are all back.

Well, yeah, you're gonna need bunk beds.

Yeah, and we want to do that for you, but we're up against people who are just so much stronger than us.

Yeah.

Ever since you gave us these abilities,

these silvery barbs,

I've been able to save my friends, the people that I care about, multiple times.

And it would be an honor to get to repay that favor.

You see,

she is looking up at the sky at honeysuckle and licorice.

And then she breathes out this deep sigh and then

looks back down at you and goes,

Your sister is in jeopardy as well.

She is.

Yes.

To be honest, though, Marigold being in jeopardy is enough for me to feel personally invested.

You see,

she takes comfort in that.

You see, once again, a very sort of human reaction to that.

But

we do need more power, and we've proven to be good stewards of them.

And I point to licorice and honeysuckle.

Galactic honeysuckle shouts from the sky.

It echoes.

Watch out!

If we may, I would love to ask you, if we may ask them to join us in

their full capacity.

They can save their sister.

Because I'm in that position, and I want to save my sister, and I want to give them the chance to do that too.

As you say that,

you guys feel an over.

Whelming amount of star fire around you guys begins like sparkling off of you like you guys are shining constellations and you see the giant constellations of licorice

and honeysuckle begin to take on corporeal forms and begin to fly towards you with enthusiasm

but the serpent queen jumps up and blocks the way with like her big like galaxy sized body blocks it and goes wait

my children will be hunted when it is discovered that they have returned to their true forms.

If I am to send them into danger,

my favor does not come lightly.

We don't ask lightly.

What do you require?

That I bind your souls to them.

If they die,

then you will die.

I accept.

Callie's soul was already bound to these serpents.

I accept as well.

These bonds are the only thing that saved us thus far.

I accept.

Um, you see, Albin steps forward.

I'm probably not gonna do it.

I don't know why I'm here.

Albin, really?

I don't think she was talking to him.

Right in this moment, you choose this moment.

Hannah pushes.

You realize silence was an option there.

Did you honestly not wear a shoe?

What's wrong with you?

So disrespectful.

So bizarre.

Crass, really.

You see, the serpent queen comes down out of the sky and devours Albin.

Wait, no.

What?

What?

Wait!

No, no, you didn't understand.

Well, I'm making fun of our friend, but you're not.

I've sent him back

to

Faye Wilde where I'm winter.

Wow.

That's fair.

That's fair.

That was, yeah, I thought that was, I didn't want to like judge or anything, but I thought that was an over-correction.

Yeah.

That's nice of you, though.

He was clearly not vibing.

Yeah, you see.

I personally don't know why Albert was here.

I think we did.

I thought maybe go on a hike afterwards.

It's going to be fun, you know?

Yeah, guy needs some fresh air.

He was covered in mosquito bites.

Did anyone notice that?

They all went for him.

He was like mosquito repellent.

I barely even.

There was like one giant mosquito busted.

Yeah, and it sucked on him the whole time.

It drained him.

Do you think it was like a vampire mosquito?

Do you think he's going to turn into a vampire?

I thought we got rid of the vampires, but yeah, they followed us.

Oh my god, if he's a mosquito spawn.

What are we thinking about vampires now that we've actually interacted with them?

I thought

I was underwhelmed.

Yeah,

same.

I thought they'd be hotter.

I thought they'd be hornier.

Yeah, they were thirsty, but in like a bad way.

Yeah, desperate.

For sure.

The party didn't seem that fun.

The cerebral.

All right, all right.

I'm sorry for derailing this by eating your friend.

It's totally cool.

All right.

Who will claim the great silver serpent?

The one you call licorice.

Okay, I want to like circle up on this.

I feel like.

Yeah, yeah we could circle up callie

are you gonna want marigold i feel like i owe it yeah licorice is not in the same place that marigold is and i i feel like i owe it to sir

if if you'd allow it i would i would steward absolutely for licorice yes i feel like you know they kind of look like a long silver tongue They really do.

That's so fucking crazy.

I've never thought of that.

And now I can't unsee it.

And I'm sorry for putting that in at your mind, but it's what came to me and it's what I said out loud.

I side-eye licorice.

My opinion forever changed.

I step forward.

I will speak for licorice.

I will guard them.

I will guide them.

You see...

The great silver serpent snakes through the sky.

The starfire of his scales burn so bright that they eventually explode.

And in the wake, you see a gargantuan licorice flies through the sky, then slithers under Saul.

Saul, you pop up, and there's room for you, and a small army on top of licorice now takes you up into the night sky and begins flying you around.

I remember all the dragons I've ridden, and I know exactly where to scratch.

You hear licorice lets out a nice little

as you scratch under his scales.

Look at that.

Saul's riding a huge tongue.

And as Saul rides around on Licorice, taking like a lap around the night sky.

I can't believe Alvin is missing this.

Missed the most magical part, got bitten by a giant mosquito and left.

That guy's got bad vibes.

You know, some people.

It's the goatee.

Yeah, yeah.

He had an acquired taste.

Yeah.

Licorice returns to the earth with Saul atop him.

And Saul,

you see a glowing orb emerges from your chest like a tiny star and then combines with Licorice into Licorice's scales.

And you feel

bound to this creature.

You feel like you will live and die by each other.

Yeah, I nuzzle with Licorice's head.

Welcome to the network.

You see

little mushrooms begin popping up from under licorice's scales.

Let's do this.

Then the serpent queen continues and goes, Who will claim the great bronze serpent?

The one you call honeysuckle?

I look at Callie and I mouth me and shrug.

Yeah, I feel like, I mean, that's who you summon when you remember to cast your spell.

I mean,

I already know his favorite food.

I step forward and say,

I pledge my life to Honeysuckle.

I'll protect him at all costs.

You see, the great bronze serpent flies through the night sky.

This enormous star-fire worm with rows of spiraling teeth.

The stars burn brighter and and brighter and brighter until they once again explode.

And in the explosion, you feel a tremendous earthquake as everything around you begins to shift.

There are mountains that pop up in the middle of those grassy plains, just begins destroying everything around it.

And then the true honeysuckle bursts from the ground under you, Calder.

You're like right above the rows of his terrifying teeth of his giant maw

goes out from under you, pulls you up into the air, and Honeysuckle does not seem like he flies exactly, but he moves through the earth like it's nothing.

Like this dude could plow through a castle wall, could plow through a mountain, and even looks like he could levitate, like sort of is able to like jump up and down the landscape, which like writhes and moves with his every movement.

Let's drill, baby.

I rev the engine.

You see honeysuckle finally settles down next to licorice.

And Calder, you see a glowing orb comes from your chest and then combines with honeysuckle.

And much like Sol and Licorice, you feel bound to this creature like you will live and die with it.

And you even see the sort of dust and dirt-covered scales begin to take on a more frosty look on the outside.

Another brother.

Oh, frostquake.

And then you hear the serpent queen again.

And who will be responsible for the gold serpent?

The one you call marigold,

whose life hangs in the balance?

Um, I step forward, sadly knowing that there's probably not going to be an actual manifestation.

I will do it, my queen.

You'll either see both of us again,

or neither.

You see

a constellation

in the sky of the great gold serpent.

But unlike the others that flew freely, this one stays still.

And after a moment, the stars turn red.

And Callie,

you see

a glowing orb floats out of your chest, and this one is red.

And you feel like your life is hanging in the balance, much like marigolds, a sort of magical manifestation of

what you're feeling about Cyra and about the golden serpent.

You see, the serpent queen slithers out of the sky.

She looks from serpent to serpent and person to person.

And now that you are soul bound,

you feel

a warmth that was not there before.

Now, instead of speaking to you like a queen,

she speaks to you like a mother.

Go, my children.

Bring your sister home.

And that's where we'll end our session.

Oh, I did not see that coming.

Whoa!

Wow.

Happy ending.

How fun is that?

Yeah.

Wow.

Happens ever so rarely.

Yeah.

Does the mother serpent have a little baby snake for Kenna?

Yeah, Kenna can have a little baby snake.

Baby.

Snake.

Just a little pocket snake, you know.

You can have the copper snake.

Oh, those are dangerous.

whoa really oh is that yeah that's an actual snake huh copper mouth yeah there you go there you go well watch out

oh she's instantly bit okay

man oh gosh murph thank you uh thank you for our vampire gift

oh my god you had such a look in your eye while it was happening yeah now we know never to ask for anything yeah it's true i wanted to incorporate in a way it was like a classic like be careful what you're fit wish for comma at what cost yeah

Yeah.

Well, I was gonna

say,

curled and then punched us in the face.

I feel like there, we'll talk about this more on the short rest.

Uh, patreon.com slash nadpa.

That's NADDPOD don't sing yet.

But I'll tease it by saying I did think there needed to be some levity

after the end of last episode because to directly just go into, like, we're abandoned in the middle of Shadowfell.

What do we do?

Something kind of stupid needed to happen for the show to be.

It was the perfect level of stupid.

Yeah.

And that was Archibald's stunch.

And hey, we we

stunched.

We did establish that there was a vampire party nearby.

This is all unfortunately buttoned up.

It's quite buttoned up.

Unfortunately, yeah,

the pants are really tight.

Ruffled shirt button to the top.

Yeah.

Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug?

I would like to plug, someone sent us to our P.O.

box a Grinch dice box.

Oh my good God.

And I am in love.

I just

so cursed.

It's awesome.

Thank you, but it is so cursed.

I love it.

It's so hairy.

It's just a box of green.

It's a box covered in green.

Oh, it's hairy.

No.

Oh, yeah.

So hairy.

It's just covered in Grinch Care.

Grinch hair.

It is purchased.

Or heck.

It is so.

Maybe it's the Grinch.

Perhaps it is the Grinch's hair.

It's made or purchased.

Made.

Lovingly.

Lovingly so.

Yeah.

Made.

I was curious if I can buy them in bulk.

That's all I wanted to say.

I would say, rather than made, it was dreamed up.

I would say birthed.

Materialized birth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you so much to Alex E for birthing that.

Oh my god.

It's so funny and I love it.

Yeah.

It is just like, it's the most cursed item I've ever seen because it's just, it is neon green and it just stands out in any room it's in.

It's a conversation piece.

Good lord.

Yeah.

It is a conversation piece.

That's really yeah, that's definitely true.

You have to have a statement.

Yeah.

I'll toss a couple other P.O.

box shout-outs in there.

Celia from France sent us a beautiful watercolor painting of Duck Team riding licorice

in his astral serpent form.

So very premonition.

Wow.

A true faithbringer.

Awesome.

How dare you.

Rahil C sent us a Blu-ray of the East Blue Arc of One Piece.

So thank you.

We're all going to equally enjoy that.

And then, oh gosh, this is very funny.

Abby S sent us a Star Wars Episode 3 commemorative coin.

Oh, no.

And it's like minted too.

It's in one of those little like.

Is that the one I like?

No.

That's true.

You've never seen Resent.

Oh, oh yeah you haven't seen that one yet episode three oh oh i thought that was the one

episode one you're waiting for it to come back into theaters

okay yeah yes okay you can't do a mixback about attack of the clones because you need it to be in theaters yeah i do i do i said that one

for sure um

anyway i use this coin now i flip it whenever i am deciding whether or not i want to watch episode three

which is only half the nights yeah i watch it every other night it's like a gift for all of us and none of us at the same time could you imagine if that's really how it worked that every night you had had to flip a coin to see if you had to watch episode three, how stressful life would be.

That's life would be so

a great surprise round.

Yeah, it's such a good scenario.

Yeah, there's got to be a trade-off.

What's the power that would make it worth it?

I really don't know.

Yeah.

In the back of your Grinch costume.

Yeah.

Flight, definitely.

Okay, yeah.

If you could just jump 10 feet in the air, but you had to flip a coin every single night you flipped a 10 feet.

I think no.

I think I don't take it.

I don't know.

10 feet in the air is pretty cool.

Yeah, it's definitely cool.

Yeah, but not for that long.

Yeah, I'd be so good at rock climbing.

Would I be good at landing though?

Yeah, I think so.

I think with the with the jumping powers, it gives you landing powers.

Yeah, cool, cool.

The thing is, they'd still be like...

I'm going to switch your ankle every time.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like that's what I would do.

The only like life you could make, I guess you could like be an Olympic athlete or something.

You would be, oh my god, I would be

just be a basketball star.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't think you would be.

But it would be tough if any of the competitions were at night, you might be busy watching episode three.

We still wouldn't be good.

What if it did slow motion, motion though?

We still wouldn't be jumping slow motion.

It would matter.

But it's slow motion.

You jump.

I think the NBA would still hire you.

Yeah.

But it would be good.

It's just that they'd hire a 40-year-old that had a 10-foot vertical but like dribbled like shit.

I think it's like it's the flubber rule though.

It's flubber rules where like if I'm jumping eight feet in the air and they toss me the ball and then they just gently float down to the basket.

I think this could really work.

That is true.

There is the flubber.

I'd like to be hovering towards them.

Flubber did have precedence.

Yes, yeah.

The NBA is full of people that can jump really high.

Yeah, 10 feet, though, is ridiculous.

This is a true

sprash box.

Yeah, we'll save it for Smash Town, I guess.

All right.

That's all from me.

Thanks so much for submitting stuff to the P.O.

Box.

Thank you all so much.

You can follow us on social media that Remay or Ray Not Use at Siege Versus Me at Caldee Scaldwell, Addie Actric Emily, and at Shirkurtz's Jake.

And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NATPOD.

That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D.

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We are, we are the youth of the nation.

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Get rid of them, turn to page 42.

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One day-ish.

Yeet!

Wow, that one felt like a really good code.

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Sorry, Balnor's best friend, Steve.

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The two crew blew through.

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Thank you all so much for supporting us.

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And happy fall to all those who celebrate.

Goodbye, sweeties.

That was a hit gum podcast.

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