Kylie on Wyatt Starting Kindergarten, First Moving In With Jason & Operation Barn Cat | Ep. 34

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Not gonna lie, Benny asked me to wear these Santa glasses for the whole episode, but I can at least wear them for the cold open.

Ho, ho, ho.

Let's get this podcast started.

Welcome to a very special back to school/slash NFL kickoff episode of Not Gonna Lie.

It's a wave original brought to you by ZipRecruiter.

I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey, officially a mom of a kindergartner.

I'm still not sure if I'm okay with that.

No.

My toxic trait is trying to order one of everything.

I want to try.

I want to try it all.

I do on almost every menu.

I just want to try everything, one of everything.

Just a little bite.

And most importantly, go birds.

That's right.

We made it, real ones.

Tonight is NFL kickoff.

And it's birds versus cowboys at the link.

I love it.

I've said it before on game days.

Life is not happening.

Eagles are happening.

For right now, all I'll say is it's time to break out the spoons.

Yeah, I did just do the rally horn with my voice.

Hold on.

Hold on.

It'll be worth it, I promise.

Could Brad just add that in post?

Yes.

Is it better off my phone?

Also, yes.

For anyone new to the show that has no idea what this means, it means that football season is upon us and you can't be a Jinx.

So you gotta knock on wood sometimes.

And sometimes the only wood you can find that's not fake wood around you.

We found out the hard way one day during a record that that desk is not real wood.

When you hear knocking,

it's because I have to.

Fuck, that's not real wood.

So

might have to knock on her today.

Coming up on today's Back to School/slash NFL kickoff special, you're going to get my second ever solo episode.

I'm so sorry for you.

That's right.

Unfortunately, you're stuck with just me for the next 48 minutes as I try to work through the emotions of Wyatt starting kindergarten and my favorite team playing our nemesis in real time.

It's not going great.

Queen Emma, are you sure this is a good idea?

So if I can actually focus, if.

Big if.

The plan is to get honest about all things back to school.

I'll answer a bunch of your ask me something questions because,

you know, you guys had to have some parameters.

The latest on the bar and cat and how Benny is adjusting to Finn five months in.

Plus, I'll give you my non-football football predictions about kickoff.

And let's get right into it today.

I'm going to kick things off with a banger here.

It's one of my all-time favorite segments.

You know what's fucked up?

Hey, you know what's fucked up?

My baby is suddenly old enough to be a kindergartner.

Oh my God.

No.

Oh, I don't like calling her a baby and then saying she's going to kindergarten.

Give it a second.

Okay.

Wyatt has officially started kindergarten, which is fucked up.

I'm not feeling great about it.

It makes me sad.

I

swear she just came out, so it's kind of weird to send her to school, like officially.

Do I think I'll cry at drop off?

No.

Will I cry driving home from drop off?

Yes.

I can almost guarantee that.

Wyatt is so excited about kindergarten.

I'm so excited for her because she's excited, but also, no,

she has resorted to telling the adults in our house, myself, my husband, my mom, my dad, that

she's growing up on us as a way to, you know, twist the dagger.

I don't like it, and it's hurting my feelings.

She's excited that she gets to eat lunch lunch at school.

And also,

I think she's just excited to be back with her friends.

She's such a little social butterfly.

She loves being around kids her own age.

She loves playing.

She's like built for that.

So

I'll just be over here.

Sad.

It's very, very sad.

Queen Emma asked, have you and Jason realized this also means why officially did not get kicked out of preschool like her dad and her uncle?

This is the first time I'm realizing that, and I'm calling that a win.

We are one for four so far, and I

kind of love that.

I love our odds there.

Starting off strong.

I don't, I think Ellie will also achieve kindergarten without getting kicked out of preschool.

I can't say the same for Benny.

She is the ringer, and

I just don't have faith that she will not

do something diabolical.

Let's just put it.

She will do something

that will, at the very least, put us on a very serious phone call.

And I know that.

I know that because I know Benny.

Yikes.

That does it for you.

Know what's fucked up.

Moving on, I'm going to talk even more about back to school in a little bit.

But first, I've got to get honest about the 2025 Eagles.

How am I feeling?

I have faith

in the birds,

but not too much faith.

I don't have any first game of the season rituals.

I kind of just

face it head on.

You just have to.

It's starting.

We're here.

You make sure that you wear your Eagles gear on game day, no matter what, what, whether you're going to the stadium or not, you got to rep it.

I don't mind being the opening kickoff game because, quite frankly, ignorance is bliss.

And I didn't even know that was the case because all I knew was that the Eagles started that day.

I don't know that the NFL starts that day because

I would know that once it got once the season was underway.

But when I tell you I have tunnel vision for the birds, I mean I have tunnel vision for the birds.

And of course, the Chiefs.

But like, you get it.

That's, there's, there's two schedules in our house that matter during football season.

And so I would have come to that conclusion.

There are a few things as electric as Lincoln Financial Field Prairie and Eagles kickoff game.

So

I can't wait.

I'm so excited.

Let's go.

Let's just, let's, let's fucking go.

Okay, now, since I'm talking about the game, I figured I'd quickly do some kickoff predictions.

Except the real ones know, I believe in Jinxes far too much to give any real predictions about the actual game.

So instead, here are my predictions about everything else.

Essentially, instead of guessing how many TDs Saquon will score, I'm going to predict things like what color shirt Big Dom will be wearing.

You get it.

So Queen Emma has written out several home opener scenarios, and I'm going to respond to each with my best prediction.

Queen Emma said I'm probably going to need my spoon.

So got it.

Number one, how many times will I say, fuck the Cowboys, from the moment I step into the parking lot

to when I return to the car post-game?

Over under 30 times, I'd say over.

Over 30 times for sure.

That is honestly one of the key bonding moments that you get to experience in Lincoln financial field on a game day against the Cowboys.

So I will be partaking in that.

What else will I be saying?

That's one of the downsides of going to watch a game in person.

I have said it a number of times now that when I go to the stadium, I am not allowed to be as

free with my thoughts and feelings as I am in my own living room.

in the privacy of my own home.

So, I will probably be saying significantly less curse words in the stadium than I will

when I watch games at home.

So,

will now will I think them?

Yes,

that's probably going to be the entire narration of my

inner thoughts.

Number two, what Eagles jersey or shirt will I be wearing to the game?

That's

game time decision.

Um, I

have a couple favorites.

Um,

I,

oh, God, this is where I get into like my, this is where I, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, my superstitions are starting to rage.

I can wear either Kelly or Midnight Green.

I also have some black Eagle shirts.

It has to, I have to have at least one of the new Eagle's head logo, not the old school eagle, although that is my favorite Eagles logo, is the old school Eagle.

I have to have at least one

newer eagle head somewhere on my person.

Why?

Couldn't fucking tell you.

Number three, how many minutes after I walk into the link will I be holding a container of chicken and peat's crab fries?

See,

it depends because if I go with Jason,

it takes us a lot longer to get to our destination.

So I would say

minimum 10 minutes, maximum 30.

Fun fact,

I say no cheese.

There's a cheese sauce.

It's phenomenal.

It's so delicious.

But I don't want it in the stadium for some reason.

I just want the fries.

God, I'm excited for those fries.

They're so good.

Number four, if the broadcast cuts to Jason, will you be next to him or hiding in a corner somewhere?

You already know the answer to this.

I'll be hiding in the corner.

I love to sit next to my husband.

I enjoy sitting next to him for football games because then I can either hear his feedback when he talks to himself about it, or I can actively ask him questions

while it's happening that

makes the game even more fun to watch and more enriching because you have a deeper understanding.

But

I, at the risk of ending up on the Jumbotron, I will probably find myself somewhere else.

Or maybe I'll try to ask around, get to the bottom of when they would be.

They have a very strict

run of show

that the people in the stadium do an outstanding job producing for the entire stadium.

So maybe I can just like get a hint

oh

hold on you can send the girls into the house at 10 first there's about to be a cluster fuck of children i'm just warning you ahead of time

hi babies

oh you're ready for miss cindy yeah oh this is the cutest thing i've ever seen my babies my babies my babies babies babies

do you want to come show your hair cut come here

What's that?

Simon, come over.

You want Simon to come over?

Here.

Did you love that Queen Emma came to visit us today?

What?

Yes.

Look at me.

What?

Over here, in person.

What?

What's on mom's eyes?

Hey, quiet voice, please.

I see.

You can have that.

You can take it.

Hey, come here.

Why do you guys come in here and raid all the boxes?

Mom!

Mom!

Why?

How How come you didn't put my ghost one up there?

Oh, why?

That's such a good

Emma.

Remember when you said you need a new artwork?

Tona.

Okay, bye.

Wyatt, take the little house.

Wyatt, take the little house, please.

Okay.

Number five, what are the odds I lose my voice from booing the cowboys for three hours straight?

Um,

slim.

Because, like I said, I have to be on my best behavior in the link.

But I'll be thinking.

And that does it for Kenna to Be Honest and my non-football football predictions.

Moving on, let's take a little football intermission here and get into some of the questions the real ones sent in for ask me some things because ask me anything was far too open-ended.

Seriously, you guys got to get a grip.

Okay, let's get right into it.

First question from Beth Erickson7.

Update on Benny and if she likes Fin yet?

Beth, I'm so glad you asked.

Over the last five months,

we have definitely had progress.

Benny will still tell people to put her down,

but it has progressed from put it down, which I'm going to call progress.

We also have had a few times where Benny actually talks to Finn or what she likes to call plays with Finn.

I don't necessarily know if I would classify it as playing, but she's trying her best and she is engaging in positive interactions.

So

calling it a win.

I have asked her recently, should we keep her?

When I say that, I mean it in like a playful way, but I have said, hey, Benny, do you think we should keep her?

And she said, yes.

So that's great.

To be fair, previously she has answered no.

So again, progress.

We'll take it.

Next from TBB underscore nine, how's the barn cat doing?

Well, we don't have one.

When we need to find one, I don't think it will be difficult.

I think that at some point we can venture our way out to Lancaster County and drive around for a little bit and find a house that has a sign that says, kittens,

usually painted on an old piece of wood.

And then we can just roll up.

Those are not, they're probably not well-socialized kittens.

So that will be our barn cat opportunity.

I'm a big proponent of going to the PSPCA

and snatching one of those cats up.

But I think, again,

typically those are going to be the cats that are more.

They're destined to be an indoor cat.

They've probably lived a couple lives before they ended up there.

Yeah.

So I think that at some point, or maybe,

maybe the cat distribution system

will grace us

with a contribution.

I get this on my TikTok feed all the time of people finding a puppy and then they get out of their car and there's seven puppies in the grass next to the highway.

I think I've been preparing for that moment my whole life and I'm waiting for it to happen.

Similarly, I'm listening for a faint meow at any point, every single day of my life.

An important follow-up to a lot of cat questions would be, what will the cat's name be?

I know that my husband is on board with this, so I'm going to go ahead and say this.

I love the idea of a cat being named after a food.

I love the idea of any pet being named after a food.

I think it's hilarious.

I think it's adorable.

I think it is charming.

I love it.

I love everything about about it.

The girls will be asked about what they would like to name a cat, but

their submissions will

probably

be dismissed pretty quickly because

I've heard what they've come up with in other situations.

Finn's nickname

is

pickle because Ellie said she wanted to name Finn pickle and then she was committed, fully committed to the name Pickle.

So, if they wanted to name a tiny human pickle, actually, pickles would be a great name for a cat.

So,

maybe I'll go to Ellie for this one.

Maybe I'll pretend that they're naming a human, and they'll give me a better cat name.

If I ask them for a name for a cat, they're going to tell me Sheila.

So,

I'd rather a cat name pickles than a cat named Sheila.

Anyway, and lastly, go to favorite treat you hide from your kids/slash husband.

Are you successful in hiding?

A sweet treat, any sweet treat, literally any sweet treat.

I have a sweet tooth.

I love a sweet treat.

Not all sweet treats, but a lot of sweet treats.

Here's the deal.

Best part is, I don't have to hide it from my husband.

We have

slightly varying

preferences when it comes to sweets.

He's an ice cream guy.

I'm not really an ice cream person.

It works out great because I love chocolate cake.

He's not that big into chocolate cake.

He'll eat it.

Same way I'll eat ice cream, but I don't, it's not something I would seek out,

which makes us very complimentary.

And I love that for me.

Also, if he wanted to share something, I would share it with him in a heartbeat.

My kids, on the other hand,

I will sneak donuts.

into the house.

I will,

I do have a stash at any given point of some type of sweet treat.

Current sweet treat, there is an entire bag of bunch of crunch, if you know, you know, from BJ's.

I got a whole bag of bunch of crunch.

And occasionally I just grab a couple out on my way by.

The key is, is that with three moving children, it's really hard to successfully sneak it and eat it before they realize.

So

I just always end up sharing a little bit with whichever child catches me.

And that does it for Ask Me Some Things.

Part one, that's right.

I'm going to answer even more questions in part two.

But first, ZipRecruiter.

As the real ones know, I've got a lot going on this fall.

Not only am I coaching field hockey and working with the Eagles Autism Foundation, this is also the first year I'm hosting a podcast, in addition to being a mom of four.

Guys, I'm busy.

Now, what happens if they need to suddenly hire for EAF, the field hockey team, or the podcast on top of all that?

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Now, before I get into the rest of your questions, let's do what I do best and get scrolling.

It's time for a new edition of Doom Scroll the Week.

First up from at the Legacy Playbook, perhaps the best example of rage baiting a Cowboys fan I've ever seen.

Queen Emma, roll the clip, please.

Oh my gosh, I had no idea that VCRs were so expensive.

On Amazon, they're like hundreds of dollars.

Jesus.

It's a good thing we don't need a VCR then.

I do need one.

That's why I'm looking.

What in the hell would you need a VCR for?

I don't think you're going to find these movies that I want on anything but a VCR because they're so old.

What the hell is so old though where you can only get it on VHS and not DVD or find it on the internet?

Like what the hell would I need a VCR to watch what?

The Cowboys Last Super Bowl.

For our audio listeners, this gentleman is wearing not only a Cowboys hat, but a Cowboy sweatshirt.

And he is minding his own business, sitting on his couch while his 49ers fan wife questions him meticulously.

Okay.

She absolutely, I mean, she, she wrote out this play

and stuck to it.

Okay.

When I tell you, this man walked himself directly into

her trap,

it was exquisite.

I love that

she went obscure.

She went far.

She went far out.

She went all the way to,

I need a VCR.

And of course, he was like, no, you don't.

Why would you need a VCR?

She took him on a long walk.

And he still took the bait.

It was outstanding.

Well

done.

I genuinely, I have no notes on this one.

It's very well done.

I like it a lot.

She is a hero to us, and we welcome her with open arms.

Next up on Doom Scroll, there might actually be a solution to my kids' constant mom, mom, mommy, mom, excuse me, mom, mama, mom, mommy.

Problem I mentioned recently.

Queen Emma hit it.

Okay, listen.

You guys are saying mom just a little too too much.

Okay, so for the next 10 minutes, please call me Tammy.

Tammy.

What's up?

I am getting a book for my uncle.

The next 10 minutes, I need you guys to call me Cash Money Records.

Whoa.

My name is Linda McGuire.

Bonus points if you submit your request to my cartoon character.

I'm doing this immediately.

So I have experienced getting to the point of saying, that's it.

I'm changing my name.

I am no longer mom.

That one has been used too much.

I have not yet arrived at the destination that she has, which is providing an alternate.

I can't wait.

You can bet your bottom dollar.

I'm going straight for a Babs, straight for a Babs.

Shout out to my friend Amber.

She knows.

Leslie Nope for sure.

I would Leslie Nope all day.

I think I would go like rabid raccoon just because if they call me rabid raccoon, then I can then act like a rabid raccoon in my response.

And I feel like that's just matching their energy.

I would absolutely choose an obscure like rapper from the 90s.

That would be a fun one.

I think it might be kind of fun to do a

like DJ Khaled, but yell it.

Like they have to be like, DJ Khaled.

You know?

yeah

and i will only answer with we the best you know like it one of those that's what i'm i'm doing this i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna i'm gonna stitch that mom is a stitch the right duet duet

i'm gonna tick tock it back to her is that not the oldest thing i've ever said

oh no

I'm gonna tick tock it back to her.

I can't believe I said that.

That was horrific.

Guys, let's forget I said that.

And that's it for Doom Scroll of the Week.

Moving on, I wanted to use this special solo episode to debut a brand new segment.

I'm calling Tiny Human Question of the Week, brought to you by Perplexity.

Ultimately, anyone with Tiny Humans knows that you get asked random-ass questions that you honestly might not have the answer to on a very regular basis.

I have gotten a number of questions about

how things work, how things are made, specific animals, and like what one would have the most of something.

It just, you can never quite,

you never know where the question is going to end when it begins.

And that is on having tiny humans.

Well, now I'm finally going to get them some answers.

For this week's tiny human question, Ellie just asked me if there was such a thing as purple ballerinas.

Because quite honestly, I was trying to convince her to continue wearing the purple dress that she had been wearing for the entire morning.

That she then wanted to change out of aka make more laundry

because she wanted to look like a ballerina.

So, we needed to convince her that there were purple ballerinas, aka the purple dress that she had on, could double as a ballerina.

So, Queen Emma, can you please pull up Perplexi and ask if purple ballerinas exist?

Did you know there's a purple ballerina plant?

Oh,

perfect, perfect, perfect.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Yes, there are purple ballerinas.

The best part is, is that there's purple ballerina plants, but also we're able to get any of the answers that we need here.

There are purple ballerina flats.

We could get shoes to match the dress to really keep her in the purple ballerina moment.

Now, the best part is that we could probably pop up to the top here for an image search, too,

and convince her.

Look at that.

Look at that second one.

Go to, yep that that one yep that'll convince her purple ballerina

done go to the ones oh go can we do the ones on the stage yes

purple ballerinas can refer to fashionable shoes ornamental flowers or imagery and costumes but not a specific person or animal with that color or name that's fair that's all i needed was enough to convince her to keep the dress on So I think we've got it.

Less laundry for me.

And that's it for Tiny Human Question of the Week, brought to you by Perplexity.

Now let's get back into the back to school zone because it's time for you.

Guessed it, can I be honest about back to school?

As a mom, how does it feel to have some routine in your life again?

It feels good

and also

not good.

The idea of having structure again with school seems lovely.

And then I realize that five days a week, I am going to have to make sure that these children are up, dressed,

polished, and out of the house with a lunch packed.

And that,

you know?

Yikes.

But also, they thrive in school.

They love going to school.

They love learning, which

what more can I ask for?

They're still in their play years of school, so they go to school and they play all day.

Amazing.

I am very excited that we will have our structure back.

I am not excited about germs.

I enjoy back-to-school shopping because I, with three moving children, I love when you get to buy colored pencils and crayons and pencils that are still fully intact.

There's something satisfying about a fully intact writing utensil.

Because otherwise, they don't have a lid, they get snapped in half, all the crayons get ripped, their paper gets peeled off.

Benny, also, we had to evict

most of, if not all, of our

glue sticks out of the house because, or into hiding, because Benny is convinced that they're lipic.

So

I kept finding her.

Not even finding her.

She kept finding them and then putting them in whatever bag she was carrying around the house.

And then she would occasionally take them out, but she knew better to turn her back to me and put on her lipic.

And then she would turn around.

And because it's the purple that turns clear,

it just started getting like a little messy.

Long story short, we did have to get some more glue sticks.

So,

yeah.

Now, before I close out out this segment, I'd like to put a very important call to action to our real one teachers out there.

I have said before, I have a deep love and appreciation for educators.

My grandmother worked in the public school system.

My mom worked in the public school system, and I worked in the public school system.

All in all,

I deeply appreciate our educators.

They're important because they are shaping our youth.

They take your kids all day, five days a week.

They are trying to help them become knowledgeable and caring little humans.

And

we're all in this together, guys.

They are part of the village.

That being said, my DMs are filled with messages about wish lists, and I want to help as many teachers as I can.

So, in an effort to give everyone a fair opportunity to have NGL help out with your wish list, please send in a quick video telling us about you and your class and tag at NGL with Kylie.

Mind you,

stick to the rules.

We shouldn't shouldn't see any kids' faces and probably not while they're in your classroom.

But we would also like for you to send us the link to your list.

Next week, we'll feature some of those videos right here on the show.

And

then obviously, we'll cover some of the things on your wish list.

The people at Wave and here at NGL know that I have an affinity for charitable efforts.

So we're just gonna, I'm not gonna say how many we'll cover because that's between me and the wish list, but

we'll just,

I really think you should do it.

You should submit it.

And again, those videos should be tagging at NGL with Kylie so that we can make sure that they are in our list.

That does it for can I be honest about back to school?

I'll be right back with a part two of ask me some things right after I rave about Uber Eats real quick.

Greetings, real ones, and go birds.

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All right, let's get right into some more of the real ones questions for ask me some things, part two.

And the theme of these first couple questions appears to be: asking me for advice.

Oh my God, why?

Yikes.

First up from Leah 203.

How do you get adjusted to living with Jason?

Oh, I'm living with my BF and it's a weird feeling.

Leah,

boys, you know,

men.

It just, I don't know.

I

being a type C personality really helped out here.

I am very much the type of person that brushes things off.

If Jason walks out of his shoes and they're literally in step in the path in the house.

I'm like, okay, I'll just push them to the side, put them back by the front door.

Jason and I moved in together when we had been dating for

two or three years.

We did live together before we were married.

Crazy

living in sin.

But

I don't know.

I didn't mind it.

It didn't phase me.

The

unexpected best part about it, oh, for sure, that you get to sleep next to them every night.

That's my favorite.

I don't like when Jason leaves.

He knows that.

I don't like sleeping without him next to me in bed.

It bothers me.

Any beige flags come up during that early period.

Jason's beige flags came up when we started dating and we weren't even living together.

And it got to a point where I said to him, I'm just going to, I'm going to take your laundry home and I'm going to do it because it seems like you've half done three loads.

When we first met, Jason didn't have a dresser.

Let me tell you what was in his bedroom:

a bed.

Period.

Christmas lights around the top.

That's it.

There was no overhead lighting in the room either.

So

when I tell people this,

when I tell people the state that my husband was living in when we first met, and they say, and you still dated, I want you to understand how unbothered of a human being I am.

I couldn't care less.

Genuinely, I thought it was hilarious.

One of our biggest early on bonding experiences was going to the store to get him a lamp.

Wait for it.

The lamp doubled as a bedside table because it was a square lamp, a standing lamp, a floor lamp that had a shelf so that he could put things on it, like a bedside table.

I find that to be hilarious.

The only light he had in his room was a string of Christmas lights around the top that we still have that we put on our Christmas tree

because that was that was their original intention.

Okay.

He couldn't turn the lights on by a switch.

He had to plug them into the wall.

He had a little balcony off of his room, a tiny little balcony

with doors and two windows like full length that

had no curtains, of course.

Don't be ridiculous.

There was no window treatment on that whatsoever.

So at six o'clock in the morning when the sun came up, he was up and he liked that.

And quite honestly,

as a morning person, I can appreciate that.

I actually enjoyed that too.

I know, guys, I know who I married.

One day I'm going to tell the vacuum story and that's going to be eye-opening for everyone.

This is, I, yep, I loved living with Jason.

I still do.

This went on a deep, this went on a deep dive.

Leah, I hope you you enjoy living with your boyfriend.

Just understand that whatever you're feeling about living with a man is

probably universal.

So don't get too, too deep in the weeds on that one.

From Real One, Nicole, how do you navigate toddler tantrums?

This stage is not for the week.

There's a lot of self-talk that happens in our house right now during a toddler tantrum.

I think that if you can remind yourself that they are a tiny human, I know sometimes my initial reaction is like, they've got to be kidding.

And then I realize that they are four years old or two years old.

And

I think

that them reacting as if the world is ending is because they true, their world is truly, they think their world is ending.

And so

I try to have some grace, but at the same time,

put your damn foot down.

You know what I mean?

Like, we got to hold out.

Yeah,

I think you got to hold firm.

That's what we are trying to do in our house.

That's what I've always tried to do is hold firm.

If my answer was no, it will still be no at the end of your tantrum.

And I usually like to acknowledge, hey, I understand that you're frustrated with my answer, or I understand that my answer made you upset, but that is still my answer.

So

I mean, we get tantrums for anything.

Today, just this morning, Benny had a full-blown tantrum because somebody had the magic wand and Benny thought, I can just take that because I want it.

And she was told no.

And then she had a full-blown meltdown.

And I let her have the meltdown.

I let her go off.

She stormed up the steps.

She went in her room and she laid on the floor and cried for a little bit.

And after about two to three minutes, I went upstairs and I said, Hey, I get it.

You're sad.

But there's about approximately give or take a million and a half other toys downstairs that you can pick.

And when, why it's done with the wand,

all you girl.

Last from Gia,

would you ever do an NGL meet and greet?

Stay tuned, Gia.

Maybe.

Real ones, you got to let us know if you want this and what kind of event it should be because

I have no thoughts about this.

My brain is still confused by the fact that people want to meet me okay.

And that does it for Ask Me Some Things.

Now, last thing before I close out this solo episode, because this was our back to school special.

Queen Emma wants to stick to the theme and close things out with a pop quiz.

Oh, this is so exciting.

And it looks like I have a choice between two different quizzes here.

Queen Emma has prepared two options for me to choose my own adventure.

Number one, animal trivia quiz.

And number two, 2025 dating red flags trivia.

Oh no.

I would like to try

the animals first.

Once again, I have a stack of note cards here.

That was very good.

With the answers to check my work as I go.

Number one.

What is the biggest type of turtle in the world?

A, a leatherback sea turtle.

B, a Galapagos tortoise turtle.

That's terrible.

I can't stand that you did that.

C, green turtle.

D, Yurdle the turtle.

Here's the deal.

Are we going on weight?

I'm going to go A, a leatherback sea turtle.

Oh, ha!

Leatherback sea turtle, 500 to 2,000 pounds.

Those suckers are huge.

Two, what is the fastest creature in the animal kingdom?

A, a cheetah.

B, a peregrine falcon.

C, a black marlin, or D, a common rat.

Okay, I'm going to go B, a peregrine falcon, and now I'm going to regret it because it's going to be C.

No, I was right.

Okay, okay.

It is a peregrine falcon.

It can, oh my God,

it can exceed 186 miles per hour.

They're so fucking impressive.

I saw one in person once and it was almost as if I fangirled, like I had seen, like,

I don't know, Beyonce.

Guys, when I tell you that I am an animal nerd, I mean I'm an animal nerd.

Oh, this one's gonna piss me off.

I can feel it.

Number three, which dog breed has been found to be capable of understanding more than a thousand words?

Oh.

A cocker spaniel.

B, border collie.

C, Irish wolfhound.

D, airbud.

Now, for the record, airbud, everybody knows, golden retriever.

It has to be B, a border collie.

I know it's not an Irish wolf hound.

From personal experience, I know it's not an Irish wolf hound.

I love them and they're adorable.

Not the sharpest holes in the shin.

Border collie.

Nailed it.

Number four, what is the only mammal capable of true flight?

Ooh.

Oh.

A flying squirrel.

B, a bat.

C, a penguin.

D, Saquon Barkley.

Is the answer Saquon Barkley

um I do believe it is B a bat

it is B a bat did you know you've put most of the correct answers in the B section in the B oh I looked it was frog I looked the tiniest animal with a backbone is what a fish b lizard c frog apparently or d lolise

uh I know it's not Lolise because Lolise has a big backbone.

She sticks to her guns.

Fish, lizard, frog, frog, obviously, because I looked.

That was my fault.

Name at least three distinguishing characteristics of a mammal.

Oh no, here we go.

Warm-blooded, a vertebrate is like a live birth, one of them.

Let me think about it.

Let me think about it.

Okay, do you want to tell me?

Do you want to give me a hint?

Tell me it's produced produced milk.

Being warm-blooded, we said that.

Having hair or fur.

I, I honestly, I'm gonna tell you right now, my brain, my brain was including birds.

So I fucked that up.

I would have had fur hair had I not been putting that in.

Possessing mammary glands, aka anything can be milked, you know.

Three bones in their middle ear.

I didn't know that.

Breathing air, duh, and having a backbone.

So

damn.

Number seven: what is the fastest running bird?

You got me.

Emma writes these rundowns in the hopes that I will occasionally be caught off guard and giggle.

And she got me.

A roadrunner, me, meep,

B, ostrich, C, emu, D, turkey.

I'm pretty sure it's an ostrich, which again puts us in the B position.

And yes, I am correct.

It is an ostrich.

Apparently, if you're ever taking a quiz made by Emma, pick B.

Okay?

It's not C for Emma, it's B.

Everybody knows that.

Number eight, what is a group of zebra called?

Zebras called.

A, murder.

Nope, that's crows.

B, stripey friends.

Yes.

C, dazzle or D, razzle.

What?

I'm going to go with,

I'm going to go with I'm going to go with C.

I was right.

It is a dazzle.

I'm going to be honest.

I've never heard that before, but I do know a murder is a murder of crows.

And Stripey Friends sounds too cool for it to be official.

And a razzle is obviously the candy that turns to gum.

Everybody knows that.

Number nine, why are flamingos pink?

Super easy.

Their diet.

The shrimp they eat are pink.

And so they eat enough of them that it actually turns their feathers pink.

Everybody, that's just, that's a good one.

I like that one.

And let's see if I'm right.

Due to their diet of algae, brine shrimp.

Yep, there you go.

10.

True or false, owls can rotate their head 360 degrees.

False.

That's false.

I know that.

They can rotate it, but they cannot go the full 360.

They can rotate it very far.

They can over-rote, they can rotate further than 180.

Oh, Queen Emma specifically wrote, can rotate 270 degrees.

So, um,

but they can't do the full exorcism thing.

So,

I got all but one.

Queen Emma, that was an outstanding quiz.

That does it for my pop quiz, and also does it for this special episode of Not Gonna Lie.

You can find even more exclusive clips on my YouTube channel on More Shit Monday.

Real ones, let me know how you feel about the solo episode.

Do you want more, or is this level of unhinged more of a twice-a-year type of thing?

Tell us at NGL with Kylie.

I'm gonna choke.

I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode.

Follow Not Gonna Lie on all social media at NGL with Kylie.

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