Ep 298: James Norton (in partnership with Dexcom)

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the tomato of conversation, adding the mozzarella of friendship, sprinkling over the basil of humour, and finishing off with the olive oil and balsamic, dare I say, of the internet.

It's the caprazy podcast, James.

He's crazy for caprazy.

Yeah, baby.

I don't know if you would put balsamic on it, really.

That's probably a bit of a riff on a classic caprazy.

That's a gamble.

My name is James A.

Caster.

Together, we own a dream restaurant, and every single week we invite in a guest.

Announcing their favourite ever start, a main course dessert, side dish, and drink.

Not in that order.

It's a bonus episode.

It's a bonus episode of Off Menu.

James Norton is our guest, a unbelievable actor.

Yes.

An absolute talent.

A chameleon.

Happy Valley.

Stage production recently of A Little Life.

Yes.

Absolutely fantastic in everything that he's in.

This should go without saying with actors, but let's face it, it's not all actors.

I 100% believe James Norton in every single role.

He disappears into the character.

It should go without saying.

It should go without saying for actors, but let's face it, there were some actors.

The guy who played Lars Penfield.

That was my next example.

Yes.

Of actors who I believe, 100%.

James A.

Cassidy disappears.

Jeff, any idea how crazy it is for me to be sat here in this studio with Lars Pinfield?

Yeah, and John the Mouse at the same time.

Yeah, and John the Mouse and the guy from Josh.

And it should be said, this episode is in partnership with Dexcom.

It is.

A thing that is very close to both mine and James Norton's heart.

And of course, your heart, James, because it does a lot for my life.

Don't wear it close to your heart.

I don't wear it close to my heart.

I wear it on the back of my arm.

It is my constant glucose monitor.

It keeps me abreast of all the changes in my blood glucose level.

We'll be chatting a little bit about that with James.

It's going to be nice for me to have have a fellow type 1 on the show to bond with.

I'm really looking forward to hearing more about it, genuinely.

But look, and I'm sure discussions of type 1 diabetes will litter the conversation because, of course, very closely aligned with food and the foods that we choose to eat and food has an effect on us.

Absolutely.

And you know, I reckon there'll be a lot of people listening to this going, oh, I know what kind of stuff they'll be talking about.

Well,

why don't you write it down now in a little bingo card?

And then as it goes on, see how ignorant you are?

Wow, James has come flying out the gates.

James Norton is an incredible actor and we're very lucky to have him on the podcast.

However, if he picks a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick him out of the dream restaurant.

Yes.

And this week, the secret ingredients is nature value

bars.

Now, it's because it has a happy value.

It's got the word value in it.

We didn't really think about this one.

I'll be honest.

We're just excited to have James on.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

But, you know, if he picks nature value bars, he's out.

Well, let's just get on with it, shall we?

This is the off-menu menu of James Norton.

Welcome, James, to the dream restaurant.

So excited to be here.

Welcome, James Norton, to the dream restaurant.

I've been expecting you for some time.

Oh, my God.

It's the genie.

Terrified.

Terrified of the genie.

Not terrified of the genie, per se.

Terrified of the...

I've sort of been very excited about this and dreading it yeah i think why why the dread because you mentioned the dread when you came in earlier yeah i think nothing to do with you guys thank you absolutely pleasure um to meet to see you both rather than meet you both as we've both we've met before yes uh no the dread is i think my personality type i am such a perfectionist and it's particularly about food and actually particularly about restaurants so for example i'm the guy who walks into a restaurant and will probably move tables at least twice to make sure i've got the best table and then if the other table the best table is about to finish then maybe we'll move after stuff you know what i mean i'm that kind of wow okay i mean that's extreme but i'm bad i'll probably change my order i'll probably order and then panic and then go up to the guy and say sorry the waiter's so sorry would you mind i need the other one actually so when you give me one opportunity to come to my dream restaurant yeah i'm like terrified that i'm going to get it wrong as if this is my one opportunity to and i've sort of there's some disconnect in my brain that this is still a comedy podcast and that this is imaginary because i've been agonizing about this for weeks that's what we want we don't want anyone coming in here saying this is imaginary yeah

Dexcom?

That's actually not Dexcom, but it's a diabetic-related alarm.

Oh, nice.

Yeah.

For listeners, James is also type 1 diabetic.

James N.

Yes.

This is not a revelation that James A.

Castor is now type 1 diabetic.

That would be a good revelation.

So if we can do that in the future.

So if a few alarms go off, don't worry about it.

Just either me or James has hit the deck.

Yeah, that's it.

I'm going to have to do the podcast.

Brother James is here.

So I love this.

I love that you're a perfectionist about restaurants.

I love that even ordering in the dream restaurant, you might want to come back and change your order.

Yeah.

What makes you want to change your order?

I'm interested in this.

Isn't it weird?

Yeah.

It's a perfectionism.

There is a version of this experience which is better.

And this is sort of a metaphor for my life, generally.

Like I'm, you know, this is immediately into the therapy session.

But yeah,

I think there is a version of the experience I'm about to have, which is the perfect version.

And

whilst I'm still in control of the experience and I can still sort of strive to that perfect version I will do everything I can to get it and so I'm in the restaurant I'm thinking actually

the Caspacho wasn't the right call yeah

I am going off like crazy

when once I've ordered something I'm thinking it's not the right call

there is the there is this there is a better starter out there for me and that will bring me more pleasure I don't like obsess about it and I then have to go and change it just in case and invariably the first choice is always the better choice yeah do you not then worry that you've changed it and that the one that you left behind was always the perfect one along the way?

Always.

Yeah.

But what I've probably done in the meantime is manipulated the person I'm eating dinner with to order the other one I wanted so that I at least have it to try.

Yeah, yeah.

I think that's what it does.

In fact, I probably manipulated everyone around the table.

Yeah.

Just try furious if someone orders the same thing as him.

There's one less thing that you can try.

Because you know when the waiter's going around, taking all the orders, I've got in my head what I want.

And it's always the person who doesn't know what they want and they order it just on the fly that immediately picks the exact dishes that I want.

And then I know that I want those, but I'll have to change it.

Do you sit around a table of, say, four people and you order first and then everyone says, oh, I'm going to have that as well.

And then everyone orders the same thing and I'm filled with rage.

I'm like, wait, no, that's selfish of you.

Yeah.

Order something else, even though I'm not going to be able to do it.

Make up your own mind.

Well, no, make your own mind, but make sure it's not the same as me so I can try your food.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make up your own mind, but.

yeah, just not in my direction.

Yeah, it's deeply selfish to order the same thing.

I'll make up your mind for you.

That's what I want.

So it's selfish of them

to order the same thing as you because they want to eat it.

I know.

Because then you can't try.

I am aware of how deluded and vicious this sounds.

But yeah,

this all speaks to a deep

problem I have.

Food.

Also, it is specific to food, I think.

I love cooking.

I love entertaining people at my house.

I have that host instinct.

And if I've decided on a meal and say,

I haven't got quite got the right ingredient, I will go mad.

I will like travel across London for like if I'm making a tagine and there's an argan oil, it specifies.

It will make absolutely no difference to the dish, but I will

be like, This is where the two of you are very different.

Oh, really?

You've been watching it.

When Ed is cooking or making something, say he's making, I don't know, ice cream that his friend's mum has sent him the ingredients for.

This is a specific example, James.

And he's been told to get condensed milk, he will just shrug his shoulders and decide that evaporated milk is as good as, and just use that, and then complain when the ice cream will never

card.

It was such a shit recipe.

And bear in mind, this was during COVID.

I didn't particularly want to go to the shops.

So I did a big online order with all the ingredients that this mysterious mother told me to get.

And it was, you know, I put in condensed milk to the website and it came up with evaporated milk.

So I thought they must be the same.

I wouldn't probably know the difference.

Yeah, who are we to argue with a cardo?

So, you know, up until that point, I thought they're the same man.

I thought you were going to say, I've eaten at Ed's house a lot, and he's just, he riffs.

It's more on instinct.

Well, you love cooking, and that was it.

Up until this point, I was like, you're so similar.

Well, actually, do you know what?

I am a bit.

So if I'm being really pedantic about a recipe, which I don't often follow because I have my, you know, my stuff I like and I know how to make and I do riff around a few themes.

But if I'm like, you know, holding a, having a dinner party and I want to get it right, I get very,

but again, it's just this, like, there is a version of this meal which is perfect.

And also I hate that if I'm cooking a steak or a roast and I've overcooked it by a fraction, I'll spend the whole meal going, it's dry.

It's dry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I understand.

You'll ruin the dinner party for everyone else

by talking about how angry you are that something went slightly wrong.

And everyone's going, it's really delicious.

Don't worry about it.

No, no, I'm going to go eat mine in the bedroom.

That's me.

Yep, completely understand that.

So you understand why me coming on this podcast is from?

Yes, yeah.

Okay.

Does that ever translate?

So I'd say that Ed and I, so Ed is like that, what you described.

Yes.

And I'd say, I am like that, but only when it comes to being on stage and doing a show.

Interesting.

And the second that I have messed up and it's not going to be the perfect show, I'm like, what's the point?

What's the point in us being here?

Do you get like that on stage as well?

Does it only translate?

Are you just on the Ed side of things and not the, I mean, James side of things is confusing because you are called James, but like

I it's just it's a really good question I mean I think my my job I maybe assume it's the same with us with comedy well you've done like a four-hour play that's longer than either of us have ever been on stage yeah that was my the play thing I think often in my what I've learned actually I think in relatively recently in terms of what I do is that actually the the mistakes are where it gets good and

the more loose I am and the more open I am to not being perfect against my character, actually, that's where the kind of magic lies.

So

if any young actors, which is, I've got to that point in my life, as I'm sure you guys have, it's like, any advice for young people?

I am the young people.

But if I do get asked about advice for people, it's often like, don't

embrace the imperfections because

that's where the story is.

That's where humanity.

So, yeah, actually, more and more, I'm kind of like, if I fuck up, it's no bad thing.

Within reason.

Maybe it'll be like that for this menu.

Yeah.

Still a sparkling water, James.

That's an easy one.

Sparkling all the way.

Yeah.

Every time.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, one of those.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, don't apologise for it.

Although the sparkling water crew do get made to feel that they need to apologise.

Why is that?

Because we worried we're too bougie.

Yeah.

I think there's an element of that, but I think you need to divide the sparkling water crew into different factions because there's people who are like, I always have it when I go to a restaurant because that feels like I'm out, like as a special thing.

And there's some like deep members of the sparkling water crew who are drinking it at home.

They're buying bottles of it to drink at home.

They're drinking it instead of still water across their whole lives.

What about those people who have the machines?

The machine people.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Are you a machine person?

I am.

But in my defense, I haven't had a cartridge replacement for a long time.

So I am suffering with the basic unfizzy tap.

But no, I do have sparkling water in my fridge.

Yeah.

I don't know why.

It just makes me happy.

Again,

it's the perfection thing.

If I'm having a drink of water and it could be slightly better because of the sparkle, I'm like, oh, this is just annoyingly not as good as it could be.

So now there's no joy joy for you in still water at all.

I mean, it keeps me alive, I guess, in that sort of basic way.

So that's joyful.

Sparkling water, if you only drank sparkling water, that would also keep you alive, right?

I've heard you guys have this debate before.

It dehydrates you.

And you actually, brilliantly, I think it was one of the recent ones, said there have been a study so that it does keep you alive as well.

Yeah, I think, but it just feels weird to me.

It feels like, I know still water isn't like the most joyous thing in the world when you're drinking it, but I do get joy from it because I'm like chugging it down, being like, look at me, so grown up.

Yeah, yeah, no, I no water.

I also take pleasure in water.

I always found it funny when you were at school and there was someone like, I don't like water.

I only drink Coke.

I'm like, really?

I only drink Coke.

You don't like water.

Is that real?

Yeah, that's why you've got no teeth.

That's why you've got no teeth and you have Chinese leftovers in your lunchbox.

I'm calling social services.

Exactly.

Yeah, my dad doesn't like water.

No.

Really?

I feel like there's a punch zone because it's not.

No, that's it.

He doesn't like water.

He told me that he has to hold his nose when he drinks water.

Yeah.

He hates it.

He can't stand it.

Things are disgusting.

What does it do to his nose?

He just can't.

Oh, the smell.

He's like, he can't smell it, which I mean, I question that.

If you can even.

Yeah.

Is he drinking out of the.

What is he drinking?

What kind of water?

Like the toilet.

He's laughing away.

Well, and I don't explain why.

So that's why he's doing it.

If I ever catch him doing that, holding his nose, I'm like, Dad, I think I know why you don't like water.

I've never liked water.

You have to drink it out of this big, this big white thing.

I have a question that's diabetes related, but I'm worried it might be ignorant.

Go on, hit the taboo.

We love it.

What if one day you had to change your pump and also had to change your fizzy water cartridge at the same time and you got them mixed up?

That's not what would happen.

That's a very radical question.

You get this question a lot, though, right?

I do get this question a lot, yeah.

It's never happened to me, but obviously people think about it a lot.

Well, I guess what would happen is my pump would then become my fizzy water dispenser, and anyone who came around to my house would have insulin, insulin-flavoured water.

Well, it would just be pure insulin, yeah.

So, I'd probably murder all my dinner party friends.

And in terms of how the pump would then be intravenously pumping fizzy water into my but it's just the gas cartridge, right?

Yeah, it's BCO'd.

You'd be dead.

We'd all be dead.

Excellent dead as a inspector would have to try and piece that together.

Yeah, that's a good murder mystery, isn't it?

That's a good murder mystery.

Oh, it's an accident.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This guy was hammered when it was time to change both things,

got them mixed up, and then his guests arrived.

Yeah, and then everyone drank.

I think it'd be a quick murder mystery because you'd be like, right, they all drank this water, it's fucking insulin, isn't it?

Yeah, it'd be very niche for all those people who didn't really know what insulin does.

Yeah, because lots of people do, but it'd be more they would have to then figure out how you had died because I'd be like, okay, everyone drank this, but this guy, yeah, he's over here, doesn't seem to have drunk any of that, but he's he's dead too.

I think what would be the probably the big giveaway is that um whilst the pump may double up as the uh co2 canister and people wouldn't notice i would have a huge um metallic

metallic kind of um thing sticking out of my midriff which the inspector might notice and also insulin stinks insulin stinks yes anyone who knows diabetics smells of hospitals yeah yeah it's really interesting the reaction that gets isn't it yeah It really stinks.

Does it?

Yeah.

Which smells of like hospitals.

It smells like it.

It's like very chemical.

Ah.

I like that.

But people do like it.

Do you get it?

I like that smell.

people complain about how hospitals smell, I don't get it.

I like it.

Lots of people smell the insulin and go, oh,

that makes me think of a hospital.

And then other people are like, oh, that makes me think of a hospital.

I guess it depends what your hospital experience was.

There's good and bad things happen in those.

It reminds me of my child's birth.

That's nice.

There you go.

Reminds me of the time I died.

Reminds me of my Brazilian butt lift.

Pop logs on bread.

Pop loves of bread, James Norton.

Pop logs of bread.

Easy.

Bread.

Breast, bread, bread.

So it's easy so far.

These are fine.

We're easing you in with the easy question.

These are fine.

Yeah, bread.

But I mean, I know, but specifically, I want like steaming hot sourdough with like a soft centre, very crusty.

And can I have three different types of butter, please?

Yes.

Yeah.

I'd like this sort of salted, traditional, nice and thick.

Don't go, what is it, churned or whatever the word, the air?

Whipped or whipped.

You really

visibly winced.

Why would you whip up something with such beauty?

I love butter.

I don't mind whipped butter, but I do do think it's a way of restaurants getting less butter onto the plate.

Interesting.

They're putting more air into it, and they're like, look at this fancy whipped butter.

And you're like, yeah, but if you saw that in just a normal pat form, it would be tiny.

But doesn't it just dilute something delicious?

I mean,

I do like the texture of it.

I like it.

You feel a bit worse.

I feel better about slathering loads on when it's whipped.

Yeah.

I don't want my whip.

Thanks.

I'd like a little bit of salt on one.

I want a truffle one of these.

And then the third one, I think I'll just leave to the gene or some, you know, the chef.

The marmite one.

Yeah, I'll tell you.

Because that's genuine.

I've had marmite butter before.

It was delicious.

I had lunch at the ham yard today, and I think their bread has a very slight marmite taste to it.

It was absolutely delicious.

Yeasty, very yeasty.

Maybe that was it.

I guess there is yeast in all bread, isn't there?

This is true, but maybe they up these.

Bread is big for me.

And as a diabetic, that's problematic because

it's just not great to eat a huge loaf, but I often...

It's admin, isn't it?

Bread is admin.

What delicious admin?

It's delicious admin.

It's always worth it.

But you have to do it.

But I'll be like, right, bread, I've at least got a few hours of trying to make sure everything's fine after I have that.

Oh, I see in terms of my admin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it is a bit admin-based, or it leads to it.

But yeah, I love bread.

I love bread.

I was one of those people who went down the whole sourdough craze during lockdown.

So I love bread, love crusty, hot bread.

Yeah.

And love butter.

And we'll always eat, you know, you know, that thing where there's like four people around the table and there are four slices.

I will eat mine very quickly and I'll wait for someone to only eat half of theirs and then I'll eat the rest.

Yeah.

I'm desperate for the waiter to come back and go, do you want some more bread?

I would order more bread.

Yeah.

I do generally.

For your dream meal, obviously.

I'll often keep coming back with the bread.

Can I recommend a place for bread?

If you're really into bread, you might have been, but there's a place called Omer, which is in Borough Market, which is like sort of broadly Mediterranean.

There's a lot of sort of Turkish influences.

There's Greek influences.

There's a little bit of Italian influences.

But some of the main courses at the beginning,

that doesn't make sense, but you know what I mean.

There's a dips section.

So there's like an amazing Baba Ganoush, there's an amazing tarama, there's just all incredible dips, but with a slight twist.

And there's like a scallop XO dip thing that was incredible.

But the breads that come with these things.

Amazing.

Like this bagel-looking type bread, but covered in garlic butter.

There's like garlic butter running through it.

There's like these amazing flat breads.

I'm in.

Huge, huge shout out to the bread at Oma.

Yeah.

Do you have a specific place that you think that's my favorite bread?

I've heard Dean Street Town has bread mentioned on here a couple of times, which is a very good bread.

Again, I think it's the heat.

It's clearly just freshly cooked.

It's crusty, but it's not quite crusty enough for me.

I love food.

I love eating lots of good food.

I'm not great at remembering great restaurants.

I can't be like the starter in New York in the, you know, 2005.

It sort of blurs into one big gorge.

Well, that's fine.

You don't need to remember the places.

But in terms of, yeah, I mean, Hamyard was had the Marmite bread is pretty good today.

Had it lunch today.

Well, let's get into your menu proper then.

Can I have a loophole?

Oh, yes.

Wow, that's it.

Yeah, yeah.

So so I love going, I love, I love going to those restaurants where above the starters, there's the scallops and the like, you know, snacks.

Yeah, yeah, little snacks.

Yeah, yeah.

Am I allowed a scallop round without it being a starter?

I think

I think the snacks portion of the menu is common enough now that that's an acceptable loophole.

Would there be scallops on there though?

Sorry, sorry, I'm completely, I'm obviously nervous.

I'm not saying scallops.

Oysters.

Oysters.

Oysters, yeah.

The oyster section, where it sits with like smoked almonds and, you know, that kind of section.

The olives, and then it has extra bread.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I love scallops.

I love oysters.

So a dozen oysters for the table.

100%.

We've let people do the oyster loophole before.

You've been good company.

Joe Quinn comes to mind.

I did the oysters, so you know.

Although I think we may have made Joe Quinn have the oysters on the way to

the meal.

We were like, it has to be on your way.

Whereas I don't really think we need to do it.

Reflecting on it now.

Yeah, we just wanted to travel.

That was unnecessary.

Cool.

You can just have it as part of it.

It's in the snacks.

Snacks section.

Yeah.

I've seen that part of the menu before.

I think that's completely allowed.

What a relief.

By the way, for the table is James A.'s catchphrase because we'll be sat somewhere.

somewhere, we'll all be happy with what we're going to order and like we've already ordered too much food and James will pick like two more dishes that we've not got and go, we should get these for the table.

Yeah,

it's great.

It's a great idea.

No one wants them, just the table.

It's always when I know I'm going to feel sick after this meal because we've ordered so much food.

And the waiter stood there being like, fucking hell, guys.

We said eight dishes maximum and there's no room on this table.

And James is going, fuck the table.

For the table.

For calamari.

I feel like we're speaking from appetites.

No, I have a huge appetite.

I regularly get to the point at the end of the order and go,

is that enough?

Like, are we going overboard?

Can you just advise us?

And he or she will go,

no, I think you're good.

And then I'll go and I'll sort of agonize for a second and go, actually, we do want the actual order.

And I'll always order it.

And occasionally, they'll say, I'd stop there, you're enough.

And they'll argue or they'll push back on my extra order.

And then I will be vindicated every time.

I will always have eaten.

Almost probably because I'm just trying to prove myself right.

But I am, yeah, I will always, always add a couple for the table.

Sometimes they'll ask the question, how hungry are you?

Yeah.

You say, is that too much?

Is that too that?

Or how hungry are you?

Yeah.

And you're like, I don't know if that's going to help you.

You don't know me that well.

Well, do you know what I say to that question?

Ask me that question.

How hungry are you?

Hello, I'm Ed Gamble.

And that works now.

Yeah.

But that's why I do it when I'm out for a meal with you.

Yeah.

I'll go, Ed wants to try everyone else's anyway.

If I say for the table, he won't be able to resist it.

Exactly.

He will have it.

Yeah.

It doesn't matter how hungry I am.

It's for the table.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The table's hungry.

The table is hungry.

How many oysters do you want for this?

A dozen, you said I was.

A dozen, I think.

It depends who's

for the table, though.

Yeah, but it's for the table.

Are they big oysters?

Are they little?

Are they creamy?

They're from an island off the west coast of Scotland called Collinsay.

Wow.

Great.

For someone who said he doesn't have specifics.

No, no, no, no, that sounds bougie.

Look at this.

Well, it's because I've been on holiday there a few times.

What's the name of the fisherman who caught them?

Them.

Yeah,

there's an oyster man up there, proper old Scottish guy, I think.

You'd think so.

They are, you hope so, yeah.

They're famous for their oysters, and I've eaten them on the beach, you know, cracking them.

I think location is obviously key.

And so sitting on the beach with friends on one New Year, bucket of oysters, my friend who found out he had an allergy that night, throwing up deep down the beach, wow, awful.

Yeah, that guy's never eaten an oyster since.

But everyone else had an amazing night and the oysters were absolutely delicious.

Are you sh you're shucking them yourself?

That night I was.

I mean, in this restaurant, I'd pre appreciate it if you did it.

Yeah, it's a guy bringing them back into shore who's having caught them going,

they've got a bunch of gunk on them tonight.

I don't know why your friends there

directly into the sea.

I also keep saying you guys as if you're hosting me at this restaurant.

That's up to you, really.

I mean, look, I guess there is a genie waiter, and, you know, I'm technically the Maitre D.

Are you

here as well?

Yeah, I'm here, but I don't have to be.

It's your dream, so whoever you're eating with is up to you.

We won't get offended.

I was hoping maybe that you guys were eating with me and I would just manipulate your orders so that I got to

have your dreams.

You've got no one else that you'd prefer to join your dream meal?

Who's easily manipulated?

Of all the people you know, who is the most easily manipulated?

I can't say that on the podcast because I know that I'm manipulated.

Lancashire?

In terms of people I've worked with.

You ever try and manipulate Lancashire?

I imagine that's impossible.

She's not a manipulator.

I imagine

you can't affect her meal choices.

I think she manipulated me probably without me knowing it.

No, she's not manipulatable,

but she's pretty.

You must have have had plenty of meals with her, not that many because we didn't actually do that many scenes together.

Yeah,

we would kind of come together occasionally in the series and have these very explosive scenes, and then we were going to go away and talk about the scenes.

But yeah, we would never really, um, I spent enough time to know that she's amazing, and we had a really lovely time, particularly in the first series.

Actually, we spent most of the time off Samura just talking about um house renovations because we're innovating a house at the time, and she loves flipping houses.

So, she gave me a lot of um advice on what bathroom to buy and all that kind of stuff that's great after a really intense scene as well yeah i know

that's what people think people often ask me oh after those scenes like how did you you know decompress and were you sort of in the corner shaking with trauma i'm like nope i was choosing my title

one of the few characters who i've forgotten is like uh you know not real when i've been watching it if you're a character i've been like get that cunt

get him That's acting, baby.

That's acting.

I was like, absolute piece of shit.

Yeah.

Why is he allowed in this drama?

Get him to say it with Lanka.

Are you still feeling it right now?

Not night now.

You're such a nice person.

It's quite disarming.

I can't believe it how nice you are.

What if this is the performance?

The twists.

I promise I'm not a psychopath.

But I do get offered roles where I'm like the guy, the seemingly nice guy with a heart of stone.

I do sometimes think, what does that say about me?

Like when I walk in, they go, it's complete.

You know,

he's a disingenuous motherfucker.

You walk in and say, hi guys, nice to meet you.

You go, you you got the part.

Yeah, exactly.

He's fraud.

So the oysters have all been shared.

That's lovely.

Is there another loophole before the starter?

No, no, no, I'm good.

I'm good.

Thank you.

I mean, I wouldn't mind some smoked almonds, but no, no, let's stick with it.

Well, they're in the snack section.

We'll just bug them on.

Oh, thanks, guys.

In the snack section, Goody said, yeah.

This is my problem as well.

Because I can't not eat everything.

Now I'm getting stuffed and I'm kind of full.

Yeah, two baskets of bread, all the oysters, and all the almonds.

So this is where I'm getting nervous.

Okay.

And horny as fuck after all those oysters

yeah

hey how about that how about if you had something like a monitor that would tell you how horny you were

uh like so like on your phone

on your phone and it would like come up and let you know

yeah it would let you know you're at 15.5.

oh i'm sorry be careful

um

yeah i mean i guess we kind of do have the similar yeah thing oh yeah yeah a little bit yes we've all got that

have you not

I know what you talk about.

That's nature's Dexcom.

No idea what you talk about.

The sexcom.

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

So

the nerves kick in here because I've got lots of choice.

Yeah.

And this is an interesting thing, actually, diabetic related.

I don't know about you, if you've heard this, but apparently the reason Italians are very healthy and they eat a lot of carbs and they manage to maintain good glucose levels is because they start their meal with the vegetable, with fiber.

Interesting.

And fiber, if you start a meal, and we've completely screwed up already because we've already had seven baskets of bread.

So that's done.

But if you start your meal every time with fiber, your glucose level should stay more level and you can have more carbs for your second, preem, whatever, you know, the second, first course.

And then you have your potato and your fries for your third.

If you start with fiber.

And since hearing this, I've really tried to start my meals with vegetables in my startup.

Have you noticed a difference?

Well, I think I have, you know.

I really do.

But I know.

It's game changer.

I'm going to try.

I'm going to try that.

I read about it.

There's some people who've started to talk about it more and more.

And when they told me the link to the Italian diet, it made complete sense.

That's why they're all so healthy and they lead this very long, happy, healthy life.

But this Mediterranean diet, which is seemingly full of carbs.

Yeah.

But you're saying this as if that's a fact, that that's how Italian people eat.

I get all of that from Olivio adverts.

Is it true?

Or, you know, the Mediterranean diet, they love it.

Yeah.

That was the blue, you know, the longevity, like the blue zones.

Maybe it's because they all live in the families, and they don't.

Yeah.

Well, I'm going to try that.

I'm going to have one stalk of broccoli tonight before I eat full fish and chips.

Exactly.

You have to, I mean, it's something fibrous, something fibrous to lie in your stomach.

Anyway, and also, I know what my main course is going to be.

So, originally, I was going to go for like a lobster bisque or a chowder.

I love, like, because I love the bread and I love with all my butter.

There's nothing but my second basket of bread, which I've eaten probably half of, I'll then start like loading it into a soup.

And I think the bisque makes makes me feel sick.

Does it?

Why?

Because I had a wisdom tooth out this year, and uh, and I was like, I said to my girlfriend, go into the shops and said, just get me some soup.

And she and she went to MS.

And she just went, I thought I'd get you this.

And it was a lobster beesque.

And I was like, I can't be bothered to heat it up.

And I just

drank it cold.

And I was like, why did I do that?

Yeah, 100% your fault.

I was like, oh, I feel sick now.

I can't look at it.

Yeah, I mean, that would do that to you, I guess.

Yeah, I just thought, I just thought maybe that would be nice just to have it cold, like Guspacho, but it wasn't

a bit of cold lobster slipping down.

Yeah, yeah, it was

actually not that lumpy, but it was very, very fishy and lobstery.

And cold?

Cold, yeah, yeah.

So as soon as you said lobster beef, I was like, oh,

gene is the worst than a companion.

Just normal lobster beef in his shitting glow.

And then I thought maybe not, because I knew that being you, being a diabetic, it'll be interesting to talk about the vegetables thing and and since I've recently started trying to but then I was like this is a dream menu why dream restaurant why am I trying to you know think about my glucose levels yeah um so it was originally the loves beasts were a child I was recent down in New Key and there was a chowder in in a restaurant right on the coast whose name I've forgotten so that's probably a scrapple

but yeah I love a soup I think as a child I used to eat a celery soup a lot and I would put loads of cheddar cheese in it and melt it and then bread and toast and that was like and I'd i'd then drop the bread in and it would become this kind of kinjumas and bread in soup is just but a good soup like a lobster beast with big lumps of lobster i've just said all that i'm going to order um the best asparagus in seasoned asparagus in the world cooked like steamed perfection with the best parmesan in the world with olive oil and i've got a memory of a best olive oil in the world best olive oil in the world

probably from this place i went to in in in croatia called istria which has like four of the ten best olive oils in the world.

Oh, wow.

And it's really, if you're a foodie, it's amazing.

It's a little peninsula on the east coast of Croatia where it borders of Italy.

And it's very small, but they have four of the 10 best olive oils in the world.

And they're also like the truffle capital of the world.

So I love the truffle butter.

That's going to come from there.

That's coming from there.

And on top of my asparagus and the best parmesan is there's just loads and loads of black truffle shavings.

And I have a vague memory of a delicious sort of very sophisticated starter with asparagus and a tiny Scotch egg.

Because I feel asparagus and egg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I think that gives you that kind of slight meat sharpness.

And when you say tiny scotch eggs, like a quail.

Like a quail's.

Yeah, but not, yeah, not dry, like, you know,

runny in the middle.

Yeah, yeah.

Indulgent.

I'd say.

Scotch egg.

Yeah.

That could be on the snacks list, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that could be.

That's the fucking ever-growing snacks list.

A tiny Scotch egg.

Warm Scotch egg, it's on the snacks.

Delicious Scotch egg with the with just the most beautiful asparagus with Parmesan and maybe some pine nuts.

I really like this hack that you've developed, which I don't think anyone's done before, where you don't know where it's from or really what it is, but you just say the best in the world.

Yeah.

Best Parmesan in the world.

Where from?

Just the best in the world, please.

Based on current available data, best one in the world.

Just

a witch.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, James.

It's like having a five-year-old on the floor.

Best in the world.

Honestly, I think I was googling on the way here, like best balsamic vinegar, best asparagus.

Where is the best asparagus from?

I mean, that is great because it is something that we haven't really talked about much on the podcast because it hasn't come up.

But people saying, like, I don't just want it to be a specific one that I've had.

I want it to be the best in the world.

Well, this is the perfection thing again.

This is like, you know, I want, I've only got one go at it, unless you know you have me back.

And I've only got one go at the same time.

Well, you can come back and change your

James grabbed us outside we're about to go and record an episode with someone else they're waiting outside now in the hall yeah he's asked to move tables

we've been recording this for weeks

keep changing it no I think yeah like it's probably my personality the perfection the perfection project whatever you want to call it and I mean there are like people talk about these kind of ranked things don't they so why not I've got a fucking genie here who can yeah yeah you've got a fucking genie buy what other people say about it so if someone said this is the best best restaurant in London, would you go and be like, yes, it was.

And I'm glad I've been to the best restaurant in London.

And same with Parmesan.

If someone said, this is the best Parmesan in the world, you'd be like, yes, it is.

How do you eat it?

I probably would.

I would probably buy into it.

I mean, I haven't eaten all the restaurants in London.

I have definitely not eaten all the Parmesans.

So I can't really kind of say whether or not it is or not.

But I do enjoy like a ceremony around food as well.

I don't know much about wine, but if someone says to me, this is a really nice wine, I'll like really enjoy it.

Yeah, take your time out.

Take my time.

And I like the kind of, I like being with kind of the sort of what they call like the leaders of a certain discipline.

Yeah.

The best maestros.

Yeah.

The best in the world.

The pioneers.

The pioneers, the best in the world.

Yeah.

The virtuosos or whatever they are might be.

And so if someone tells me it's the best Parmesan world, I believe them.

And I'll enjoy it.

And it's, you know, I've got a genie.

You're not a genie.

I can make, I can make it all best asparagus, best Parmesan, best olive oil, best truffle, best salt.

I've sort of replaced your chest, haven't I?

Omnipotent, omniscient genie.

Yeah, I'm more of a like, I don't know,

what are the angels, the seraphim?

Yeah, so I'm, and I think in line with the vegetable starter, and it's also linked to my main course, because I was going to go bisque and then I was going to go fish, but actually, I'm sticking with my slightly my Scotch egg and my asparagus.

I think that's nice.

I think you've got that fibre now.

We can see if that works later in the meal.

Yeah.

You've got a scotch egg next to it as well.

So a bit more fun.

But but the reason I was saying I was dreading this is that I've been sitting on bisque for weeks.

If you're my friend

wash your butt.

If you're my um if you're people close to me will have I've asked them, can I just go over my menu?

And and bisk has been on it for a long, long time.

And now here I am.

And I was on the way here and I was thinking, I've made a mistake.

So I have to go.

So I flipped it and I changed to asparagus.

So the asparagus is is completely rogue.

Look, I love asparagus.

Yeah, same.

Probably top three veg for me, I'd say.

That's fair.

Absolutely love it.

I think at the moment, tenderstem brocks probably in the...

Yes.

Yeah.

And I love aubergine, but it doesn't even feel like I should count it in veg.

No, it's more of like a main course, isn't it?

It's a sponge.

It's a sponge for sauce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's the other one?

That's a good question.

I like rocket, but I'm not having it all the time because sometimes too peppery.

Avo for me.

Love an avo.

Avo's good.

It's a fruit.

Artichokes fruit.

Artichokes for me.

Artichokes are coming at your number one.

Or spinach.

Just

spinach.

Steamed.

How are you serving it?

However, I don't mind steamed.

Probably sauteed is probably best if I can get it right and there's not too many liquid coming off it.

Not cream.

Not too many liquid coming off it.

Yeah.

You're not having that?

Yeah, no, that's the sentence.

Do not cream your spinach.

Not often.

Not with a steak and some fries, creamed spinach?

I wouldn't probably

mess up.

So that's the thing about this guy.

And we've all had this with him.

We all assume he'd like cream spinach.

And I remember discovering for the first time that he doesn't particularly love it as much as I thought he would.

And I couldn't compute that.

Also, it doesn't add up to everything else about you and what you enjoy.

Well,

I need something to get.

If I'm having a particularly rich meal, which I really enjoy, I need some element that's sort of bitter, that it feels like it's cutting through the fat.

So

normal steamed spinach to me is perfect to go go with like a big ribeye steak or something.

Why do people call you Ed's cream spinach scandal?

I don't know, man.

It's because I love spinach.

We've got a tough broadcast of that story.

If I see spinach I cream.

It's difficult to get mixed up.

Yeah.

The horny alarms going off in his pocket.

Hawksmore.

Hawksmore cream spinach.

I was going to say,

you do love the cream spinach from Hawksmoor.

Yeah.

So that is the exception that proves the rule.

Yeah.

Thank you.

So the Jameses.

It's worth mentioning that this week's episode of Off Menu is sponsored by Dexcom, who are all about helping you manage your type 1 and type 2 diabetes with real confidence, which is great timing and a massive coincidence as it's Diabetes Awareness Week just around the corner.

And a huge coincidence, James A, that we have James Norton in as our guest this week.

Yes.

Who

is a fellow type 1 diabetic?

I am.

James A, you're not a diabetic, I see.

I'm not a diabetic, but I'm just happy to...

I'm an ally.

I'm happy to be part of the conversation here.

you're welcome.

I support you guys.

Well, any questions you've got as we discuss Dexcom a little bit more,

you go for it, man, okay?

Okay.

No question too stupid.

Thank you.

We're friends.

Well, I'm going to tell you first of all what Dexcom is, James, because for you and a lot of...

That is my first question.

And a lot of other people listening, it might not mean much, but for myself and for James N and many other people out there living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes, it's a massive thing, isn't it?

It's a game changer, yeah.

It really is.

Yeah.

Continuous glucose monitoring, which is what Dexcom do certainly has changed the life of myself and James.

So we wear a Dexcom CGM and it's a small skin sensor that measures our glucose every few minutes via a tiny wire beneath the skin, sending readings to our phone through Bluetooth.

A bit like RoboCop.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

We are cyborgs.

And we can see our glucose levels when they're heading down or heading up fast or whether we need to act on it and being able to set alerts to let us know whether we're going low or high.

For me, absolute game changer when it comes to managing my diabetes.

Yeah, Yeah, for those like James A who are intrigued but ignorant about diabetes, the challenge is to keep good control of your glucose levels.

And CGM is a new technology which has made that so much easier.

And as a result, we sleep better, we're less anxious, we can have a happier, more healthy life.

So it's pretty big.

It's absolutely massive.

I mean, I remember when I was diagnosed, there certainly wasn't this technology as easily available as it is now.

No, and now it's available on the NHS.

You can buy it, but it is also available on the NHS for some diabetics, which is amazing.

And more and more is being kind of rolled out and made accessible, which is great.

What it's really helped me do is understand how different things affect my glucose levels.

Yes.

Like exercise and like what I'm eating.

And, you know, to a certain extent, it's made me go, oh, it's everything I ever suspected, but I've just been ignoring for ages.

Turns out if I eat more nutritionally and more balanced and do loads of exercise, then it's much, much easier to manage my diabetes.

Didn't you tell me once that you noticed that doing stand-up comedy caused a spike?

Yes.

Adrenaline.

Adrenaline.

Yeah.

Massive.

I mean, performing with type one is an absolute pain sometimes.

Yeah.

Like Dexcom has made it way easier because I can just check my levels and then go on stage, do the show, and that's fine.

But I know you recently did a massive run of a play that was incredibly taxing.

I did a four-hour play

and I didn't leave the stage once apart from the interval.

And I had my Dexcom on the whole time underneath a bandage.

And yeah, I had the little, you can either,

the readings can either be sent to your phone or they can send to like a little sort of pager device, which was very small and I kept in my pocket.

And all the way through the play, every so often, I'd quickly have a look and then I would act accordingly.

I would eat some sugar or I would inject.

And it kept my glucose levels so much better.

I had one or two minor hypos.

Is that me?

Is that yours going off?

I think it might be.

This is great.

On cue.

When you're doing a four-hour play, we're doing any play to know what your levels are doing.

That's the key for Dexcom.

As a diabetic, awareness and knowledge about your glucose levels is power.

And that's how you are less stressed and you can spend less time thinking about your diabetes and more time thinking about life.

Definitely.

And that's what Dexcom gives you.

It gives you power.

It gives you freedom from diabetes, which is kind of key.

Yeah.

I mean, I found performing using Dexcom has meant that I don't have any issues on stage because I can see before I go on, I can literally have my phone side of stage.

I can see if it's stable, it's going up, going down, act accordingly, accordingly, and then go on and do the show without worrying about it at all.

I mean, there's so many brilliant features connected with the Dexcom.

I mean, the alerts, even though I think the alert that I get of telling me I'm dropping low or going too high lives in my nightmares, it's very, very helpful.

Yes, it is helpful.

Oh my gosh, because before we had CGM, and Ed and I are old enough and have had diabetes long enough to know this, the only thing which would wake you up was a hypo if you were going low.

And that is horrible.

We're not going to see that.

Sweaty mess, discombobulated, disorientated, scared.

If you're with a partner, it's quite scary for them because often you are, you know, hypos are serious things.

You kind of lose your mind a bit.

And now, way before that happens, all the danger signs kicking in, we get a beep, which wakes us up.

And since then, my glucose is just more controlled.

And so I don't get as many alerts through the night and I sleep so much better.

And then your whole life is improved.

And that's why you cannot underestimate how much difference Dexcom gives you in your life.

It's huge.

Yeah, those beeps as well.

Have you ever been been in public and heard someone else you don't know in public, you find out they're using Dexcom as well because you hear the beep come from their phone?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Well, I have the added fact that my sister and my mum are all on Dexcom.

Of course.

Can you imagine my kitchen table?

Genuinely, when it goes off and we're like, who is it?

Who is it?

Grab the phones.

But yeah, again, it's just for all three of us.

Once we've established who it is who's being beeped at,

it's, yeah, it's just our whole

family life.

We get more sleep, we argue less.

I had to interview someone recently, a corporate, a founder of a company who has also given a lot of money to diabetes research because his stepson is diabetic.

And we were on stage and I had my phone in my pocket and then the alert went off and I was like, oh, this is so embarrassing.

My alert's just gone off.

No, it's his phone because he uses the sharing feature on the app.

So it means that parents of diabetics

can also be hooked up to the sensor so they know if they need to act on something as well.

Now, and I'm aware, Ed, I'm probably tearing myself up here to be absolutely roasted.

Are there any stigmas or misconceptions around diabetes that get on both of your nerves?

And I and look, Ed,

I think I've apologised for everything I've ever said.

You've done all of them, everything you've ever asked.

You can probably list them off, to be honest.

Yes, I think people thinking that you guys can't eat sugar or sweet things at all

is the the the number at number one.

If this was uh Family Fortunes, that would be the number one one that would come up.

Do you know how many times I've said I'm on the off-menu podcast, and they go, but can you even have dessert?

Are you going to do that course?

I'm like, yes, I can.

Thank you.

Very much.

When it's really annoying for me is when I don't want to have dessert.

I decide to not have dessert.

So then everyone goes, of course, you can't have dessert.

It's like, no, I could if I wanted, but sometimes I just, it's too many calculations and I just want to eat a bit of cheese.

Yeah.

And then people get annoyed with you if you order a cheese board, you know?

Well, I mean, someone in particular, I think.

Yeah, I'm absolutely annoyed.

I didn't know it was a hate crime until now, but I got annoyed every single time.

I would imagine that people not knowing that they're two different types is annoying as well.

People just kind of like lump everyone together and don't like appreciate that everyone's got their own journey, their own story.

Yeah, there's a slight confusion, I think, between type 1 and type 2.

And Ed and I are both type 1.

Type 1 is autoimmune, and we don't produce any insulin.

Type 2 is a more sliding scale.

Yeah.

They might be producing insulin, but the insulin sensitivity is way down, so it might not be doing its job.

Yes, exactly.

But of course, people who have type one and type two can both benefit from Dexcom.

Am I right, guys?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Dexcom's waterproof.

Yes.

Yeah.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

That's that's another misconception.

The misconception that if you have these discs, your life is in some way limited things like swimming or running or exercise.

You know, people are like, how do you live with that thing?

But it's weird.

You do you put it on every 10 days and it stays on there and you don't really think about it at all.

And does it really hurt having something underneath your skin?

It's it doesn't

forget about it all the time.

Yeah.

And it's rock solid as well.

well mine doesn't move where are you rocking your sensor i uh generally wear mine on my uh midriff on my stomach what about you where do you wear yours i'm back of arm you're back of arm every single time yeah yeah yeah yeah do you know what i found if i stick it like sort of just below the tricep it really pops those bad boys out that's true it draws attention yeah yeah that's really good actually So a big thanks to Dexcom for sponsoring this week's episode.

But before we take a break, worth mentioning that Dexcom CGMs mean that you can see how your body responds to different food, exercise, and also medication at different times of the day, and that you're able to spot patterns.

Without CGM, this can be difficult to understand.

But with Dexcom, you'll know what's right for your body, adapting only what's necessary.

If you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, we highly recommend you take a look online at dexcom.com.

What a great website.

Wow.

And request a free Dexcom One Plus sample.

Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online.

Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations.

Talk to your doctor for diabetes management.

Terms and conditions and terms of use apply.

And we'll be right back.

So this dream main course that you've, you know, picked to, so you teed yourself up with the asparagus.

So this is why I flipped and flopped for a long time.

I couldn't think what I wanted.

It was dreams.

And then I realized what I wanted.

Yeah.

But then it was like, that throws beesque into complete chaos because it was fish.

I want to fish, I knew I want to fish.

And the reason I was like veering away from this is because this is what I would, I cook for people a lot when, especially in the summer, I love barbecuing.

I have a big grill, I have a big gas grill, I have a big wood grill as well next to me.

Exactly the same person.

Same person,

yeah.

You should come around to my house.

Yes, please.

I love

the same house.

Walk in, everything looks exactly the same.

Charlie says hi to you.

What the hell?

Bought the laugh enough.

Yeah, I love grilling, grilling, grilling, grilling.

And I love flame grill stuff particularly.

And I love in the summer grilling fish.

So I'd love, if you're okay with this, to take me to a beach because I would like to be sitting on a beach for main course.

And someone is grilling.

wood grill, wood flame, fish.

And it could be a halibut steak would be great.

Some prawns, some big prawns,

maybe some scallops.

And it's like paper tablecloths sun setting and i'm just getting in there with my hands and i'm cracking the prawns and i'm you know that that's my mate you know maybe with the salsa maybe like a mango or something some fruit-based salsa lime and really well seasoned but incredibly fresh yeah yeah love this delicious yeah really good yeah that's fantastic i can't argue with that steak as well i don't think we've had yeah we've had that have we sorry it's so ironic that we're doing a diabetic yeah no i need to sort that out that's fine um it'll stop beeping in a second.

Yeah, fish.

Do feel free to take a pause to

give you time to put in the thing that keeps you alive.

It keeps.

You know what I love about diabetes?

Yeah, no, it'll be fine.

It'll stop.

Barbecued fish.

Yes.

One of the best things in the world.

And when people come around to my house in the summer,

I've moved to house recently, and one of the big things for me was building an outdoor kitchen.

So I've got like a sink, wood, wood barbecue, gas barbecue.

It's pretty amazing.

Yeah.

You should come and see.

And then I will barbecue various bits of fish with some halloumi.

I'll do a rice.

This is what I would have you at my house.

I do a rice with full of seeds.

So lots of pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

I think if I had to choose one ingredient I use the most in my life, it's sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

Oh, really?

Yeah, everything, every meal, savoury or sweet, porridge, puddings, starter soups, salads, everything.

I just eat, I love toasted seeds.

Have you got like a dispenser?

I don't.

I just do have, you know, in the spice drawer with your salt and pepper or like, you know, your sort of essentials in there are my pumpkin seeds and my sunflower seeds.

So, I have them in my rice with some like corianders, and then I'll have a mango salsa with like you know, lime and avocado and tomatoes and a bit of chili.

Um, and that with grilled fish, but just good fish, don't do too much to it, a bit of lemon, salt, pepper.

I don't want to make this whole episode too diabetic, but how often are you eating porridge and how do you handle it?

Oh, it's that

I don't do it, I don't do it anymore.

I just can't do it.

No, I start my breakfast again, fiber.

Yeah, I do.

I do vegetables and eggs.

Yeah, i'm i'm no carb in the morning because porridge it's mad it's mad and i think this is not just for us as well this is people like i think there's a misconception about porridge being really healthy being the healthiest thing yeah yeah straight up almost like i can see on my dexcom like glucose levels straight up no matter how much insulin i give for it yeah can never stop that spike and then almost an hour later straight down oh interesting straight down to quick oblivion oh okay yeah i used to eat porridge when i was at drama school and i used to cycle like a crazy crazy person from from green lanes down to to central london and i used to have porridge every morning me and my then partner would really went to town i porridge like pomegranate seeds seeds lots of seeds

um all sorts of fruit and again i would shoot but then on the cycle rides yeah similar thing plummet i think the interesting because we we talk a lot about um

gi index as diabetics well we don't actually we should

but but we think about what is complex carbs and what isn't and and porridge is often sort of the ultimate complex carbohydrate, where it is meant to be a very slow rise and then a slow,

what's it called, decline, and therefore it's healthy.

I agree with you.

It is kind of nonsense.

So what do you think of the three bears story?

Realistically, is she eating porridge and then having a nap in that bed?

Probably because that's what happens when you have the crash.

So that's okay.

She's had the crash.

That makes total sense.

I think it's because she's asleep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She might be type one, Goldilocks.

Well, whoever wrote it clearly knows about that.

We can finally understand what that story is about.

Is she asleep or is she just hypoing really badly?

It doesn't explain why the bears live in a house.

Does she get eaten by the bears?

I think there's different endings.

I think traditionally she just legs it out of the house because they scare her.

But then there are other endings where they eat you.

I'm just thinking if her glucose levels are high, I often think I get eaten by mosquitoes more readily because my...

Oh, really?

Because you like a delicious sweet treat?

Do you think so?

Yeah, maybe.

I very rarely get bitten by mosquitoes.

Well, then that's disproved the rule.

Maybe your glucose levels.

Yeah, maybe.

Not on a holiday, though, mate.

It's all over the place.

Yeah, it's true.

They should be feasting on me.

That's true.

Instantly doesn't work as well in hole in hot countries.

Yeah.

Nightmare.

Really?

Ugh, just come back from Jamaica.

Ugh.

Nightmare.

I'm learning a lot.

Yeah.

I'm coming after my rules.

I've got a little bit of diabetes.

Clip up you saying, coming back from Jamaica.

Ugh, nightmare.

Please don't.

Please don't.

With no context.

No, please.

I just, as I said it, I thought,

there I was worried about lobster beast being king being being bougie.

Look, it's going well, man.

Everything's going well.

Yeah, good on you, man.

All you had to do was kick up that little girl or whatever it was.

Well, that sounds delicious.

I think, like, freshly barbecued fish on the beach.

Also, knowing you.

Best fish ever.

Best fish ever, but best beach ever?

Best beach ever.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you got a best beach ever?

I was very, very, very fortunate to have.

gone to Jamaica recently.

I was, you know, incredibly lucky.

It was very rare.

Very rare.

It was a dream.

It was a real dream.

Completely dream.

Once in a lifetime.

Never been, probably never go back.

And that was pretty good.

So maybe Jamaica.

Jamaica Beach.

I'll take a beach in Jamaica.

Goldeneye, run by Chris Blackwell, who I played in a movie about Bob Marley.

Oh, yeah.

He has an incredible hotel called Goldeneye, which is where Ian Fleming wrote all the Bond films and where masses of artists and musicians have been and still go because he founded Island Records and a lot of people would play music and go and record out there, including Bob Marley and Talking Hands and all these great great artists anyway that is a paradise the food is amazing and he is a great man and a wonderful host and um see I'll take I'll take that I'll take a beach and golden but can I just finish very quickly sorry I just want to make sure my meals

every time we go off on a jokey tangent just

like yeah yeah nice one yeah yeah but anyway seriously this isn't this isn't the best

please

I was I was suddenly really worried that we were gonna jump to um no no don't worry well actually no actually you're about to ask me about my side dish, aren't you?

No, I was about to say that I'll never get tired of the joke, Jamaica, no, she went of her own accord.

Yeah.

But you go and say what you're...

Jamaica, no, she went of her own accord.

It's always funny.

It was one of those old, old jokes that always makes me laugh.

I went to Jamaica with my wife.

Really, Jamaica, no, she went of her own accord.

That is good, clean, fun.

Did you just say I went to Jamaica with my wife?

Jamaica, no, she went of her own accord.

Because you've got that joke very wrong.

Isn't that right?

Yeah.

No, you can't say Jamaica twice, said it.

It's something

It's not something else answering it.

I went to Jamaica with my wife.

Jamaica?

It's not.

I went to the Caribbean.

I went to the Caribbean with my wife.

Jamaica.

No, she went to her own house.

Oh, yes, that's better.

Because why would the person who's already said Jamaica

misunderstand Jamaica?

No,

they were checking.

They're going, oh, really?

Jamaica?

Yeah, yeah, Jamaica.

That's how that conversation would go.

I went to Jamaica with my wife.

Jamaica,

yeah, Jamaica, the island in the Caribbean.

We had a lovely time.

Why are you so angry?

Ruin the joke.

We can all be perfectionists, mate.

Check your fine.

What's it saying?

I was going to ask, was the hotel called Goldeneye after?

Before or after Ian Fleming wrote the book?

I think it was before.

And I think he named Golden Eye.

He just named it after.

And Chris's mum was the main influence behind Pussy Glore.

Wow.

Once?

I just don't know.

I was like, that's impressive.

And then I was thinking, I don't know if I'd be all right with that.

It's not great for the schoolyard, is it?

It's got a character that's based on you.

Yeah.

What's her name?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Wait for the book to come out.

Well, no, in the book, she was called Fanny Everywhere.

Actually, to be fair, a more convincing name.

Yeah.

A more realistic name.

Pussy Galore.

I can't say that.

This is the first time I heard that that was someone, a character's name.

Are you fucking pennying me?

I say it and I think, have I mixed up James Bond and Austin Powers?

I mean,

that can't be what the character is called.

I know.

It was, though, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It was.

Yeah, yeah.

I had one of the best meals I've ever had in Jamaica, Rio Grande.

If you go, go Goldenite, honestly, it's the best place in the world.

Food's amazing, etc.

But

there's a river you can go called the Rio Grande nearby near Port Antonio.

And halfway down, there's a lady called Belinda who has like a shack and she cooks the best jerk, chicken,

rice, peas.

And you're on the side of a river and you've just rafted down with someone on like a huge bamboo thing and you're having the best life.

It's It's the best thing ever.

Amazing.

Food was, yeah.

That sounds so good.

I was almost just going to regurgitate that meal, but then I thought I've had it.

So

don't regurgitate that meal.

Don't regurgitate that meal.

We avoid the word regurgitate on the podcast in general.

Yeah.

We say we do.

A lot of disgusting things has come up on this podcast.

Lobster bees.

Mainly my fault.

So are you okay for us to move on to the side dish now?

Yes, I am.

Are you sure?

Yes, I am.

As long as my, because my salsa's not part of the side dish, is it?

Because it has to have fruit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've got a man who's got a sales in there.

Yeah, yeah, great, great.

I thought in the bag.

You know, I'm not genuinely traumatized by this.

I mean, you guys have turned it into

like we're just doing.

You do keep going.

Just, this is, I'm having a lot of fun.

Yeah.

We just get back to it.

A second ago, you very urgently said, please don't move on.

Please.

No, just fine.

Do you know what?

We're relaxing.

It's good for us.

It's good for us to have a guest who cares about their menu.

In all honesty,

it's when guests don't care about it that hard it's a bit harder this is great no i care

your dream side dish james okay so i'm a big salads man again fiber greens but simple green lettuce a bit of alvo maybe lots of seeds some pine nuts probably toasted all toasted and really well dressed and that will be alongside fries.

And with my fries, I want ketchup and vinegar.

And I also, sorry, ketchup and mayonnaise a a little bit.

Probably won't use the mayonnaise.

We'll use all the ketchup.

Mayonnaise has to be there just in case.

And the key thing for me in this whole meal is the vinegar on the fries.

Because once you've got that like salsery, fishy juice at the bottom and the fries are there and you've lavse them in vinegar.

In general, all meals are improved by a little bit of vinegar.

I think balsamic vinegar is probably my third most used ingredient.

I'm not putting balsamic on my chips.

malt vinegar

but that for me is yeah you need the vinegar i need the vinegar on my chips And I've realized, I was actually, I grew up in North Yorkshire.

I was in the North recently.

And I said to the table that, I'm so sorry, do you mind if I have some vinegar on my chips?

And they're like, are you fucking kidding me?

You're in the north.

Like, we all don't, that's absolutely fine.

Like, we love our vinegar.

And I realized that it's because I grew up in North Yorkshire.

I love vinegar on my chips.

But I went to the ham yard today.

I had some fries with my lunch.

Said, can I have some vinegar, please?

I think the guy went out and bought some.

I think it was

about 10 minutes.

He came out with an absolutely fresh.

You know, when that's kind of like lovely malt.

Yeah.

So i guess vinegar on fries to me seems sure unusual i think chip shop chips loads of vinegar no loads of salt yeah but like fries yeah i wouldn't which is weird because i love salt and vinegar on my chips but i think when you when when i when you say fries you're probably being very you're being rightfully pedantic about the very thin kind of american fry yeah i think i'm thinking somewhere in between a sort of thin McDonald's fry and a chunky chip.

What is that?

A chip, maybe?

A chip, I guess.

It's just a standard pub chip.

Yeah.

But I don't want it to be thick.

But you don't want it to be too thin.

Well, yeah.

Yeah.

And if I don't get it right, I'm going to combust and run into the sea with the genie.

You would like the perfect chip.

The best one in the world.

The best one in the world.

The most perfectly sized chip in the world for you.

Lots of them.

Yeah, yeah.

Lots of them with vinegar and salt and ketchup on the side and mayonnaise, but you probably won't use the mayonnaise.

It's there just in case.

Yes.

This is what I'm fascinated by.

Please.

In what situation would you have to bring out use the emergency mayonnaise

if the this were not what happened because this is the dream restaurant yeah but if there was an issue with like sauce and and lubricants then the mayonnaise is there as a sort of backup i think it's probably because generally what i do is i'll when they say do you want any condiments i say yes please uh ketchup mayonnaise and vinegar and they go oh you like condiments i say yes i do i like all the condiments and if it's meat i'll have mustard as well so

it's just a need to have all bases covered which again is probably a metaphor for my life in some weird way i love this so it's more of a security condiment The mayonnaise is there to make you feel comfortable.

Yeah, and then probably at the end of the meal, I'll go, oh, I didn't touch poor mayonnaise.

And I'll probably just do one fry just to make you feel comfortable.

I feel sorry for the mayonnaise.

Well, I just want, you know, it's completely left out.

And I also feel a bit embarrassed.

I ordered the mayonnaise and didn't use it and looks a bit, you know, short titled.

I think this episode is the most we've ever had an insight into the way a guest thinks through their menu.

Yeah.

The perfection thing is huge, but just then, poor mayonnaise.

Do you not talk to things

not not to the condiments and so i think um

you know i might speak to uh a holiday home when i'm leaving it for the last class i might turn around and be like thank you see you later yeah

i i mayonnaise is pretty yeah i just i don't want it to be i don't want to look too wasteful and i'm also a real stickler for finishing my meal so then there's a big

but i just want to yeah want the bases covered how do you deal with that in with barbecues because i will even if i'm just barbecuing for me and my wife oh yeah which i will do regularly, just like during COVID, I've said this before, same five times a week, barbecuing like every meal.

Every meal.

Yeah.

Just looked at me like

old as I said.

And I always do too much.

I will be like, if it's an evening barbecue, at like 10 o'clock, my wife will be like, I'm going to go and do something else now because I'll just be like sat there in the dark outside eating a steak, just trying to finish the wine and eat all the meat.

Did you have the problem over the lockdown and just generally in life where I always overcater?

I think I've said this to many friends.

I think I have a previous life as like some prison chef because I'm unable to cook for the quantity of people I'm having, you know.

I always overcater.

And then the next day, when you're on a rolling Barbie, which I was also

because me and my then partner had like the best lockdown because we didn't have kids, we had a garden.

Our fishmonger was open.

The butcher was open.

We could get nice natural wine with it.

And we would just like listen to albums.

Yeah.

But barbecuing.

sorry should caveat this with i know that lockdown was horrendous for many yes but i was lucky enough to have a pretty good time and a lot of it was to do with food my problem was i would always cook too much and then the following day you've got like the leftovers of the previous day or you can cook a new barbecue it's always a new barbecue it's always a new barbecue and then you are getting wasteful yeah yeah yeah well i probably still eat

for lunch you'd not chop it all up put it in a salad yeah it's true yeah it's good at doing that using up leftovers yeah he's resourceful He'll be like, right.

If anything, I think you're delighted.

It's like, great, now I've got another meal that I can suss out.

Yeah.

I also do, yeah, I'm good at, yeah, it's true, actually.

I like leftovers for the lunch or the little nibble, like midnight nibble.

Ed, you got to come out for barbecue.

I'm there.

All right.

I'm coming around.

Sometimes when I order takeaways, I'll order an extra thing that I don't need, and it'll usually be the green thing.

Yeah.

I won't eat it.

And then over the days, I've stored those up for me to take away and then make a mega salad.

Do you?

That's mega salad.

That's a great idea.

I put them all in a thing.

Idea, I did it the other day with

broccoli from Sticks and Sushi with the artichoke Caesar salad from Mildred's.

And there's one other thing.

I think if some asparagus on it, but it's bam, all together at once.

Yeah.

Absolutely loved it.

That's really interesting to me.

I find it harder to keep leftovers on takeaways than I do leftovers of my own.

Regularly, if I'm in London for a week and I know that I'm going to be in a few nights, which is annoyingly rare at the moment because I feel so busy.

But when that has happened, I'll either make a massive soup at the beginning of the week or a massive salad and it will accompany all my meals for the rest of the week.

Sometimes it'll be the whole meal.

Salad three, four, five days, you know, if it looks fine, great.

A leftover takeaway I find really, I think it's because I didn't cook it.

I don't like it.

I have to eat the takeaway on the day.

I keep it and then I'll probably eat this tomorrow and then I always throw it away.

I like it the day the day after is good.

Do you have the other day?

I had loads of leftovers from a really nice Chinese meal, actually, and just had leftovers on toast the next day.

Nice.

Lovely.

Anything on toast?

Yeah.

Lovely.

Just respect him.

I respect him so much.

I'll look up to him.

That was so touching.

Yeah.

He just says some things off, and they're like, what a great idea.

Yeah.

He's putting it on toast.

And yeah, let's rewind.

That idea was putting something on toast.

Leftovers on toast?

Jane just melted.

That's lovely.

I can't see this.

This is what I'm talking about.

Tell you something else I had on toast the other day.

Yeah.

Watch out.

Peanut butter, so far so standard.

Yeah.

And then Laugen Ma crispy chili oil drizzled on the top.

It's just like having satay, satay on toast, essentially.

This guy, James has passed out.

Crispy chili oil is the best thing in the world.

Wait, I don't know what they think that is.

Laugen ma, it's just a type of chili oil, but it's the sweet one.

It's no, no, no, it's it's like in a big jar.

It's the oil's great, but it's the crispy bits of chili and shallot and garlic in there.

And I can eat that like yogurt, it's it's amazing again.

Something we share.

I if I should have

kicking myself.

Oh, no, no.

James has run out of the cool.

Tabasco, chili sauce.

Every restaurant.

You're going chili.

You're going hot.

So with the fish, with the chips,

racking up my condiments, but chili.

And unless it was cooked, really.

But spice, I love, love, love spice.

Yeah.

I feel like you're marinating some of that fish.

I think you are.

Yeah, yeah.

A bit of chili.

But having some Tabasco on the table.

But with that, are you going to, at the end, if you haven't

used any of it, you know, oh, sorry, Tabasco, and then just glug it for the box.

Do you know, I carry Tabasco everywhere I go.

Oh, yeah.

I love it.

Yeah,

because of work filming, particularly, food can be good.

Fat can be, I'm sure you guys have experienced this on the road.

It's like hit and miss.

Tabasco will improve anything.

And so I poached eggs in the morning with my vegetables and eggs, Tabasco, and then lunch.

Yeah, I love it.

I used to do that with Sriracha.

I had one of the key ring bottles of sriracha.

You could get a bottle of sriracha on a carabina.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sratcha on a carabina, and then hook it on your keys, hook it on your belt.

And then I burnt myself out on sriracha.

James went to the carabina recently.

Jamaica.

Yes, she went.

Yes, Jamaica.

Yeah,

sriracha, I just burnt myself out on it, though.

But you now can't have any more sriracha.

Nah, I'm not a sracha guy anymore.

Oh,

sriracha.

There's a word in there, isn't there?

She went of her own accord.

your dream drink james so beast is this the place for the beast oh the ultimate

but the lobster meat's gonna drink

cold mug of the ms beast please um regurgitated

no um i think what i will i i i don't know much about wine but i love it so i'll have a

i think i'm gonna have a natural white but like with a little frisante you know the kind of because with the fish it's what i basically like my lockdown i had a there's there's a lot because i live lived in peckham and there was lots of bougie it's awful isn't it but that kind of live in that echo chamber and there were natural wine shops pecho chamber we got pecko chamber yeah very good this is what i'm talking about

i know

just

on on all on all cylinders

one second he's throwing out a good idea for how to you know do your leftovers then he's got an amazing pun up his sleeve it's unreal i owe you the best what you guys can't see is that these two are holding hands right now.

Yeah, really cute.

I wish, I wish you, I wish you would.

Yeah,

there's a wine, it's called Casa something.

It's got like a spiral on the front, it's not that expensive, but it's

I know the one you mean.

I can't remember the name of it.

I drank loads of it in lockdown as well.

Everyone was doing it.

It's longer than chin chin, but it's a bit more.

And the Calcareus was the other one that everyone was.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Calcarius, yeah.

One of those with it, I think, really cold, crisp, natural.

Yeah, it's a pet gnat, isn't it?

It says a bit yeah Bianco Frizzanti Bianco Frisante

Casabelfi

Casabelfi Bianco Frizzanti yeah a lovely like pet gnat delicious crisp cuts through the the oil of the fish just yeah a bottle of that I think I did burn myself out on natural wine though it's going to sound like a complete tosser here

go on because of lockdown because we've got a really good shop near us that does just natural wine yeah and I was drinking a lot of it and what I found was you find a favourite with natural wine and you you go and buy another bottle that's from like a different year or the next year and it's completely different because they don't have any way of maintaining the taste of the wine because it's so different every year yeah they're so at the right yeah they're so at the mercy of the the elements which is but i don't mind that because what i get really intimidated by with wine is not knowing anything yeah therefore going into a natural wine shop i'm just like what do you reckon's good yeah yeah around this is my price point can you send you know how about me eating fish i'm gonna be on a beach with a genie yeah sort of yeah and then um they give me whatever's good rather than what is what I know to be good.

I think that that sort of stuff, I think you can guarantee is going to be pretty much good across the board.

But I was going into this natural wine shop and being like, what's the weirdest thing you've got?

Oh, right.

And it was stuff that just basically tasted like a farmyard floor.

Yeah.

The funk.

And loads of sediment at the bottom of it as well.

If you pour more than two glasses, you've got to just keep an eye on what's happening with the bottle because you just end up with a mouthful of gravel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I think we're on the same page.

I'm sort of, yeah, recently trying to be a little bit more traditional.

But yeah, as I say, don't know much about wine, really like it, especially the natural wine with this particular meal.

So, do you want that?

Or do you want the Casabelfi one?

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, great.

Please.

Casabelfi's fun to say.

I mean, there's part of me, the idiot in me, going, well, that's not the best one in the world.

Yeah,

I've had that.

We've got to chat about some stuff, James.

You can't just say best wine in the world.

And we go, right, yeah, move on.

Best pudding in the world.

Thanks for coming on, James.

We've never done that before.

That's why you use Dexcom.

Best in the world.

Yes.

It is.

So we arrive at your dream dessert.

Oh, yeah.

It's going to be the best in the world.

We know that.

It's going to be perfect.

It is.

This is like you're at the end of the meal now.

You've had this perfect meal.

Yeah.

So the perfect way to round it off to end the meal.

Well, I'm a diabetic, so unfortunately, I cannot have it.

Yes.

Finally, someone admits it.

I know it.

Yeah.

No, I've looked at my Dexcom and I've realised that my glucose levels are level.

Actually, preferably, they're going down a bit.

Yeah.

That's the joy.

That's the joy.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it just times out perfect.

Not only am I going to have dessert, I need it.

Yeah, exactly.

I need it quick for about five minutes, please.

Oh, my gosh.

This is funny.

I went to the GQ Man of the Year Awards.

Congratulations.

Did you win?

I did not win.

I'm not a man of the year.

But I was there to support the men of the year.

And the women of the year.

Nicole Kibman was one of them.

I don't I haven't quite got the sort of nuance of that title quite yet.

Nicole Kibman was honoured.

Who else?

Cole Palmer, Jude Law, a few others, anyway.

And I went into the meal.

And the other thing about diabetics, diabetes, which Ed you all know and we're all encouraged to do, is administer our insulin via...

pump or injection, whichever way you choose, early, like 20 minutes before the meal is suggested.

Never done it.

Never done it, always on the meal.

See, I...

Especially if you're out, because you don't don't know when it's going to come, right?

So this is, I've been, I've been trying to do this more and more.

I've been really like disciplining myself because it does help your glucose levels.

It means you don't spike so much.

I don't understand how non-diabetics work.

You can't anticipate the food, can you, Ben?

Yeah.

We encourage it early.

I went into the GQ Men in the Awards and I did my insulin thinking that we were about to have a starter.

It's a fashion dinner.

The starters like smoked trout with no carbohydrate and no bread.

Oh, no.

I know.

I was fuming at that point and also a little bit concerned because then they started these speeches and then Jude did a speech and and then Nicole did a speech and the GQO did a speech cut to me.

My phone's going crazy.

And no, no, I'm worse.

I'm like dripping with sweat.

I'm on the high table sitting opposite Nicole Kidman and I'm like, and there are cameras everywhere.

And if I stand up, it's going to be, you know, it's really rude.

I'm in the speech.

Eventually I'm like, I'm going to pass out.

So I have to go and have to go and speak to someone.

So I went to someone who's like running around, you know, one of the waiters and said, I mean, I'm diabetic.

You need to help me.

I need some orange juice really quickly, please, because I didn't have any sugar with me for some stupid reason.

They gave me some orange juice.

I didn't realize that that then caused pandemonium to break loose.

So then when I went and sat back.

Well, because then they don't really know what that means.

They just heard someone say, I'm diabetic and I need

sugar, but also I think I was looking really ill.

Yeah, yeah.

And also, I'd put the insulin in for the whole meal.

So I needed a lot of carbs.

Oh, wow.

So they were going to bring.

So anyway, then they bring me a chocolate bar from PrEP.

And then amid speeches, they bring me a huge bowl of steaming potatoes.

Someone, someone backstage has cooked me a bowl of potatoes.

Which point everyone down the table is going,

why?

Why are you.

You just had a chocolate bar and then a bowl of potatoes.

potatoes in the middle of the speech as well it's like i just look like a glutton yeah potato loving a weird one a really weird one as well weirdly and of course you can't interrupt the speech sorry excuse me i'm i'm a diabetic explain tapping the side of the potato bowl

all you men of the year um so yeah it's a it's fraught a little fraught when you're eating acts you can't time the meal exactly but so you didn't have any you didn't have any dextros or anything with you to i did not well if i did it wasn't going to be enough because i'd load it up for the whole meal was that as well because you were wearing a nice suit and you didn't want to ruin the line the line of your suit you know it because it's so annoying it's so annoying i have to whenever on the rare occasion that i have to wear something nice and fancy which is very rare i'm like you look you look quite nice actually and then i'll go oh no i'm diabetic i've got to bring a sack full of stuff with me it's true can't put it in my pocket because it looks weird and then end up taking a little satchel with me i know i don't have a little man bag for a long time having said that with dexcom that has been made a hell of a lot easier because i used to have to carry around insane paraphernalia.

We'd also have to carry around a pouch, which would be a more traditional form of testing your glucose levels.

And that is no longer the case because I have my phone with me anyway.

So Dexcom has genuinely made me more chic.

Yeah.

There you go.

You can't ask for more than that.

And I wasn't.

It's nice to see Ed get into bond with someone over these things.

Yeah.

I just never seen it before.

No.

Never got to see it.

It's nice.

It's a new man.

Nice to see, like, you both got these stories.

You're like, yeah, I've been there.

When we first met, I don't think you were diagnosed yet, weren't you?

No, it was.

Because that would have been 2005, I think.

And weirdly, for someone who hasn't got a great memory, I remember exactly where we met.

You obviously had a big impression on me.

Yeah.

Oh, do you know what was happening?

No, it was in the mitre.

Oh, okay.

In Cambridge.

Yeah, yeah.

You were just on a show.

And do you know the reason I remember is because someone told me that you were diabetic.

My sister

had been diagnosed and we had a conversation about it.

It was good.

You got to see me at a time of life where I absolutely was not focusing on it at all.

I do remember

when we met in the mitre because it was the pre-the-smoking ban yeah and I remember the conversation we had about my sister's diabetes and I was thinking oh it's great diabetes can lead a completely normal life

you had a pint of beer and a fat and a single thing

yeah oh those were the days

entire birthday cake on the other hand

you were living about your best life yeah yeah or not but you're

better now

I do feel a lot better

so this is uh sorry Sorry, sorry, sorry.

So yeah, my glucose levels are just dipping nicely.

Genuinely don't love overly sweet things, not because of the diabetes, but because I love more bitter things.

I'm a chocolate fiend.

I always have chocolate with me.

It's usually 80%, sometimes 90%.

I have a chocolate drawer in my house.

I have a production company.

Is that Lancashire's idea or your idea?

That was actually not Lancashire's idea.

So you should have put a code.

You've got to get a chocolate drawer.

Some fresh kids.

Get yourself a chocolate drawer.

You set fire to yourself.

Thanks, Lancashire.

Any final words?

Yeah.

Bar of 80% melting in your pocket.

Yeah, I have a chocolate drawer and I have all different types of chocolate in there.

I have like the lighter dairy ones for the guests, but for me, it's like 80%, 85%, 85% or 90%.

And I have 99% there.

I love it.

So my dessert will be like a sort of chocolate mousse, but thick, not too much air in it, with 80% minimum cocoa and a little bit of chili a little bit chili flavor maybe even like a curl like those sort of husks chocolate you know like a sort of kernel or husk whatever they're called

like the cacao nibs yeah the cacao nib yeah gives a bit of texture a bit of crunch and then with it a sweeter um like a vanilla gelata or or ice cream and then again like a kind of coolie like a raspberry uh fruit sort of a bit more bitter cuts through the yeah sweetness this is good bitterness little bit of sweetness a little bit of sweetness yeah i went through a real cacao nib phase did you yeah big time bought a whole sack of them basically did you the actual yeah straight on yoghurt with raspberries really good is it that's interesting yeah you were eating them on their own as well oh yeah that sounds that sounds fantastic yeah really dark and and like big and you know like somewhere between a mousse and a yeah i don't know you know what i mean yeah almost like it's almost not a mousse it's almost like a kind of not ice cream ice cream.

It's almost like a cremeur.

Cremeur.

You guys are, this is what you are good at, is knowing the words.

And can I have a coffee, please, with it?

Yes.

I'd love an Americana with some extra hot oat milk, please.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

That's my coffee order.

I sometimes think I'm the guy who has a coffee at the end of a meal, and then I realise I'm a guy who has an espresso martini at the end of a meal.

Well, I was going to say, am I allowed a grapper as well?

Yeah.

I love the Justife.

I keep asking, am I allowed?

And you're like, yeah.

We're not actually hungry.

Lovely.

We love hearing this kind of stuff, to be honest.

And also, I want something,

there's something specific about the dessert, which is that if I'm ordering a coffee with the dessert, I have to specify often in the restaurant.

So I'm going to specify you guys, please, can they come at the same time?

Or the coffee just fractionally after the dessert to wash it out.

But often you order the coffee and the dessert at the same time.

They bring the coffee.

It's either cold or you finished it and then the dessert comes.

And then it's just like, it drives me insane.

Especially with a chocolate dessert.

There's nothing I like more than eating some chocolate, chocolatey dessert and then a sip of coffee that like washes the inside of the mouth out.

And then you're making mouth mocker.

They were meant to be together.

Yeah.

Like James and Ed, they were meant to be together.

They're meant to be.

And then the grapper after, as a justifier.

Lovely.

I'm in a big affogato phase at the minute.

Are you?

If I see it on the menu, I'm like, well, that's my decision made.

I don't have to decide on a dessert and a coffee.

Yeah.

I'll just have that.

And then I'll decide.

Don't need to worry about the caffeine though.

Because here I am saying a coffee because I'm in a dream menu and I'm on a beach.

I really got on top.

I've had big into coffee recently.

It's a recent thing for me.

Yeah, definitely was noticing the effects it was having on my system as the day went on.

I was like, I feel like I'm vibrating.

I need to get on top of this.

About a month and a half ago, I just completely cut it out, wasn't doing it at all for a few weeks, went to America for a bit, started having one every third day, whatever, got back from America, had jet lag, went, oh, I don't need to drink it all the time.

And now I'm back just to, that's it.

I'm having two or three a day.

Two or three a day.

And I need to rein it in again.

But it's not the time.

For people listening, we we were recording this in december absolutely the worst time to go i am now going to get on top of anything yeah drinking too much caffeine drinking in general desserts all that stuff this is not the time to get on top of it no it's the time to ramp it up i'll read your menu back to you now see how you feel about it you like sparkling water definitely you want steaming hot sourdough with salted butter truffle butter and the genie's choice of butter i'm choosing that marmite butter that i had one's delicious triple butter you would like a snacks hack that is 12 oysters from colonsey

and you want some smoked almonds on the table as well glutton you want the best steamed asparagus in the world with the best parmesan in the world best olive oil in the world best pine nuts in the world and a tiny scotch egg

main cold so weird such a weird addition a wood flame grilled halibut steak prawn scallops and fruity salsa uh and lime on the beach on the best beach in Jamaica that you've ever been to.

Thank you.

Side dish.

You would like a salad with lettuce, avocado, seeds, your favourite, pine nuts, and you would like fries with ketchup, mayo, just in case, vinegar and Tabasco.

Your drink.

You would like a casa belfi bianco friszante.

Your dessert, you would like chocolate mousse, what kind of a mousse?

Maybe, what would you say?

A cremeur, maybe.

A cremeur, maybe.

At least 80% cocoa with chili, cacao nibs, vanilla gelato, and raspberry coolie.

And you would like the coffee to come out at the same time and grappa as well.

Fuck yeah, I feel good about that.

You feel really good about that.

Yeah, wait, when you go into uh back into the office and you talk to the people you've been talking about this podcast to, are you going to say, I did it, I nailed it?

I feel great, yeah.

I feel like I had my shot, and you know, I delivered.

Well, that sounded on the way home, on the way home, I guarantee you, you're not going to feel like that.

No, of course, as soon as I step out of this restaurant,

I'm going to be calling both of you with frantic text saying, I have the

beast.

Yeah, the The word beast over and over again, texted to us.

Thanks for coming to the dream restaurant, James.

It's been an absolute pleasure.

Thank you, James.

Well, there we are, James.

A wonderful chat with James Norton.

I love that menu.

Yeah.

And he should be proud of that menu and happy with it.

And I hope he's able to sleep tonight and isn't just thinking about what he should have had.

It was as close to perfection as one can get.

Because we should always remember perfection is impossible.

Perfection is impossible.

So do you.

You're always striving for perfection.

Don't beat yourself up, guys.

Don't beat yourself up.

Just do the best you can.

Just do the best you can.

You don't have to be perfect.

No one's perfect.

And it should also, that's genuinely a tenet that I have to remind myself of with glucose levels in diabetes.

Yeah.

Perfection is impossible.

Something will always come along.

You just got to roll with the punches.

And of course, today's episode was in partnership with Dexcom.

And if you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, you can take a look online at dexcom.com and request a free Dexcom OnePlus sample.

Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online.

Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations.

Talk to your doctor for diabetes management.

Terms and conditions and terms of use apply.

And I always say that.

at the end of an episode.

Yes, yes, it's a common catchphrase of the podcast.

I get shouted at me in the street.

It's not even my catchphrase.

Terms and conditions and terms of use apply, they say.

Yeah, I'm like, that's that's it, that's head, not me.

Or bread.

Also, uh, what we've been told to say by the people at Dexcom is that uh, James Norton did not choose a nature valley bar.

Yes,

so that means we are not going to kick him out of the best, yeah, correct.

Look, James Norton has a wonderful body of work, which you must all go and watch immediately.

Yes, even though we kind of semi-spoiled the end of Happy Valley for you, but just forget what we were riffing on and just watch it with a fresh, yeah, yeah, yeah, fresh mind.

Yes, absolutely.

See you next time, guys.

Bye-bye.

Oh, hello.

It's Amy Gladhill here.

Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley.

Single ladies, it's coming to London.

Well, we're already in London, I suppose, in a way, but we're doing a live show, aren't we?

It's true on Saturday, the 13th of September at 7pm at King's Place.

So we've got your Saturday night sorted.

We've done all the organising for you.

Come along, have some drinks, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, both are available.

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Or just head to the link in our Instagram bio and just clickety click click.

London, we're coming.