Ep 283: Antoni Porowski

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

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Welcome to the Off-Menu Podcast, slicing the apple of conversation, lying it across the caramel of humor, topping with the puff pastry of the internet and cooking in a big old oven, flipping it out into a plate.

Apota ta-ta.

Are you deliberately doing this?

I'm making me laugh.

No.

We're both saying.

Imagine we've been working together for six years and James says, are you deliberately trying to make me laugh?

Yeah, man.

Every day, every episode we do, I'm deliberately trying to make you laugh.

I've only noticed it today.

Yeah.

Appota-ta-ta.

That's a gamble.

My name is James Acasson.

Together, we own a dream restaurant.

And every single week, we're inviting a guest and asking their favorite ever started Magel's dessert side dish and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is...

Anthony Perovsky of course Anthony is uh one of the queer eye crew fab five the fab five focusing on food yeah the the food portion of the fab five will uh every time every week well every episode it's not a week is it i mean i'm still what an old man

every episode will uh teach the person how to cook a dish yes um that they could that they that they then recreate at the end for their loved ones as well it's uh and and it has a lovely heart-to-heart often in the kitchen with them as they're cooking as well.

It's one of my favorite parts of the show.

Very excited to meet Anthony.

He's got a new show out as well, James.

No Taste Like Home.

He's broken away from the Fab Five.

Yeah, this is it.

You know, who knows what the future holds?

No Taste Like Home is out now on Disney Plus.

Loads of celebrity guests on it.

We're going to learn more about it.

Ask Anthony about this show.

He's got Pugh.

He's got Florence Pugh.

We have Florence Pugh.

We have Florence Pugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's got James Marsden.

We haven't had James Marsden.

No.

Grafina?

Yeah.

Isa Ray.

Justin Farrell.

This is great.

That's good.

It looks fine.

We've had Louis Thoreau.

Yeah, yeah.

Are you trying to make me laugh?

No.

We have had Louis Thoreau, though.

They're cousins.

But if Anthony says a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant.

And this week, the secret ingredient is old

rotten spinach.

Now, obviously, he's not going to pick that.

But it's something.

He has eaten stuff like that on Queer Eye.

They go in people's fridges, they got

out of their cell by date stuff.

Things rotten.

And he puts it in his mouth and he eats it.

And he did it with the spinach.

So maybe he got a taste for old rotten spinach and now it's going to be on his dream menu.

He might love it now.

Sorry, we'll have to kick you out, mate.

Yeah, or it might be, you know, sometimes we have guests on who go, there's this one dish I had, I can't ever find it again.

I would love to replicate.

He might be like, I had this old rotten spinach in this person's house and I just would like to try it again.

Yeah.

I can't find it anywhere else that's as good as that.

It was just rotten enough, you know?

So maybe you will say that.

So maybe it is a good choice, actually.

Yeah, maybe it is a good choice actually.

But I don't want to kick him out because he seems really nice and I can't wait to talk to him about his dream menu just.

Listen, full disclosure, we started this podcast in 2018.

That was about a year after Queer Eye started.

And this has been like since day one, trying to get Anthony on the podcast.

Yeah, we've talked about it a lot, right?

It would be weird if we kicked him out.

That would be a lot of work just to kick someone out of the dream restaurant.

Yeah, it would be.

So let's not do it.

This is the off-menu menu of Anthony Perovsky.

Welcome, Anthony, to the Dream Restaurant.

Yay!

I'm very excited.

Welcome, Anthony Perovski, to the Dream Restaurant.

We've been expecting you for some time.

Nice, loud, big.

That was good.

Good energy.

Yeah, yeah.

Good, right?

Yeah.

I was pretty happy with that.

You always, on Queer Eye, you surprise people.

You know,

at the beginning, you guys will jump out.

They're not expecting you to come up at the map.

I thought, I've got to surprise this guy proper because, like, you're so used to it.

I appreciate that.

And we actually do surprise people, even after all these seasons.

It's shocking to learn that, like, we call them heroes, the people that we're helping out.

They actually don't know that we're coming because they think that we're just shooting like a backstory that they haven't been fully selected yet.

So they're actually shocked when they come up with it.

Oh, wow.

That's a really good thing.

I don't like my expression when you like went right into it.

So, yeah.

Oh, so they don't even know they're going to get the makeover and all that.

They know that it's probable that they've made it to the finish line, but they go there for a couple of weeks and they just like record them in their daily lives and then they figure out how to like sneak us in.

So they're like genuinely shocked after nine seasons, which is kind of wild.

Which means you do actually catch their house as it is.

Correct.

Oh, yeah.

Because they're not like, are they going to come this week?

I've got to go.

No, it's a shit show.

I mean, you see that.

I don't know if you've watched the show, but it's like we find some crazy stuff in there.

Yeah, no, I've watched it a lot, Anthony.

It's helped me out.

I had a bad year in 2017.

I watched it so much I cried so hard all the time what happened in 2017 I had a breakdown I'll write a whole book about it but like oh shit I got a book like you got a book out of it okay not a book

but there's a there is a part of the book where I talk about watching queer eye and crying while eating cold lasagna

it's a big cold lasagna that's dark yeah yeah

so sorry but you're here now I'm here now it's great yeah yeah are you warming up at the lasagna now no it is nicer cold okay there's a little tip for you I think that's an awful tip.

No, you've got to heat it up first.

Yeah.

Then let it go cold and then it's delicious.

Is it kind of like meatloaf, where it's like nice to just like cut a cold slice of it after you've enjoyed it?

Like cold?

Or like cold pizza?

Cold pizza for breakfast.

And this isn't a nice term, but it congeals.

And that's nice.

Oh, congeal.

That's what we always like to hear with food, isn't it?

Lovely congeal.

Congeals and moists is all I want to hear.

We've been talking to you a lot about eggs before this podcast started today.

There's been a lot of eggs.

We feel like we've been on your back early.

Well, a little bit because I literally, I got here and then ordered from,

let's give them, let's give small businesses a shout out because Prat de Manger does hard-boiled egg cups and it's the best thing when you're traveling because you can get this literally sounds like a paid endorsement, but it's not.

But it could be if they're listening, they do two hard-boiled eggs with a little thing of spinach and with some salt and pepper.

You guys had some Malden salt here, which is great.

It's protein.

It keeps you full for a long time.

I support it.

Yeah, no, look, so do I.

I love a hard-boiled egg.

I like the hard-boiled eggs from Pratt.

You had four.

I had, in my defense, first of all, I had two.

There's still two that I'm going to have later.

Okay.

Let's all calm down now.

You're having four boiled eggs of a day.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We started to talk about this when we were out there and Benito told us off because this is good podcast fodder.

Of course.

What's the maximum amount of boiled eggs that you'd have in a day?

So typically I start my day, I don't do boiled.

I do a soft scramble and I like them runny.

Like I want to question if they're like healthy to eat.

You know what I mean?

I don't like them fully, fully cooked.

And typically I take one yolk out and I save it from my dog and I cook it separately on the pan.

And when she comes home from dog camp, then I like mix it in with like her little treats and she's so happy.

Well, you know, what we're about to ask now is what is dog camp, please?

Dog camp.

So I have my dog is basically self-sustainable until 5 p.m.

every day.

So I have a rescue pit bull.

I know that she spent a lot of time on the streets.

And so I want to give her the best life possible because I don't have kids.

So she's like my kid right now.

And so she gets a walk in the morning for 45 minutes and then she gets fed, then she naps for 30 minutes.

And then this guy, Brian, I'm so used to spelling his name out because I can't say his name in front of her because she loves him more than me.

I'm not even, no, I'm not even kidding.

I trust him with her life.

And he has a son called Brian Jr., spelled B-R-Y-A-N.

He came over the first time, goes through a reference.

And he takes basically like 12 to 14 dogs from lower Manhattan out every day to like Connecticut, Pennsylvania, and they go running.

She comes back home and she's like taxidermy.

She collapses, doesn't move.

It's the best thing.

He came over the first time.

He spent an hour with her, like talking to her, getting to know her.

And I'm like, this guy's a freak.

Like, this is exactly who I want.

Like, he's my kind of guy.

And so he takes care of her when I'm out of town because I travel a lot, case in point, being here.

Yeah.

And that's dog camp every day.

Do you think Brian could team up with four other people who do the same job and do like a crew eye, but for dogs?

I mean, would I pay for that?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how many are you scrambling in the morning?

So four soft scrambled eggs, maybe like a little piece of sourdough toast because I'm on that whole, I don't know if you watch the Blue Zones documentary, but I'm really obsessed.

Are you familiar with Blue Zones?

No.

No.

Okay.

So this guy, Dan Butner, he got the Guinness World Record for, I think, biking across the country.

like in the 80s or the 90s or something.

I'm probably butchering this.

Don't fact check me or do.

Do whatever you want.

It's a free country for the most part.

But anyway,

so he basically like traveled through and he like encountered all these people who lived in villages and he found certain villages and certain towns in different countries where people were living to a very old age.

And so blue zones are the highest concentration of centenarians, people who are living to 100.

And he got obsessed and he was like, what the fuck are these people doing to live so long?

And one of the things that he's found cross-culturally is sourdough.

They also eat a lot of beans.

They have a sense of community.

Like there's a whole bunch of other stuff.

I latched on to sourdough because I felt like that was an easier one.

Because no one ever tells you eat more bread, right?

Correct.

So if you found out that it makes people live longer.

Right.

So I have a little slice of that with some like good good room temp butters, some good mald and flake salt,

and then soft scrambled eggs.

And I'm like so happy.

It's the best way to start a day.

But I like to hear this about sourdough.

I guess it's like also limiting the amount of sourdough you're eating because...

I mean, yeah, you probably shouldn't have an entire loaf.

I probably stick to like a proper slice.

Then you freeze them individually, you put them in a toaster, and they're good to go.

Love it.

Well, let me tell you what my new obsession is.

No taste like home.

Look at the perovski.

That was the smoothest segue of all time.

I liked it.

Yeah, I liked it.

I liked it.

That was pretty good.

I've done less smooth ones, I'd say.

Yeah, well, what I liked about that is Anthony said it was a smooth segue.

Whereas normally, if James does a smooth segue, he looks at me and goes, that was a good segue.

Yes.

You know what?

Everyone has a bit of positive reinforcement in life, and I'm here for it.

Thank you, Anthony.

This sounds like a very exciting show.

Your guests are amazing.

What can you tell the listeners about it?

I mean, it's a dream job.

I basically scammed Nat Geo and Disney Plus into funding my world travels for all of last year, which was pretty amazing.

But I mean, I take, you know, six celebrities to their country of origin.

It starts out with a dish that they remember from childhood.

And then we go to their country of origin and we explore their family history through the lens of food.

So we go socio-cultural, politically, what was going on at the time.

And then we hone in on like key personalities in their families.

And it's, I mean, yeah, we got to go to Senegal with Issa Ray Florence Pugh in northern England and had like the most amazing hoggett.

Do you know what a hoggett is?

I actually don't know.

Anthony's not nodding his head.

We're going to let Anthony describe what a hoggett is.

Okay.

So a lamb is like young.

Yeah.

Mutton is like the older one.

And a hoggett is like the teenager.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm so glad that I taught you something about your own culture.

Yeah.

And another,

yeah, we just like do these like world travels.

And it's like, I think it's fun for people to watch because like, first of all, like we need a bit of diversity exposure in this world right now and just like be introduced to like other cultures and like in terms of embracing them.

But also you have these people who were like, on film.

Like I literally was watching Florence and Little Women Crying on a Plane a couple of weeks before I met her.

And it's like you get to meet them as individuals.

I think it just offers like a new lens and a new perspective on these people, you know.

Were you eating colour lasagna on the plane while crying?

Was I what?

Eating colour lasagna while crying.

I wasn't having cold lasagna, probably right after a nap waiting for like the treats to come out.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the problem.

Like now, for the next season, you couldn't do one with James because

you've done the UK already, yeah, exactly.

And I don't feel like James's tastes in Cold Lasagna represent the UK and the cultural history of it.

What's your heritage?

It's pretty, uh, it's pretty just like, yeah, English all the way.

But, you know, in Kentman, where I'm from, we make Oueta Bix.

Me and you could go and have a bowl of Oueta Bix.

Weetabix is a brand of cereal.

Oh, yeah, no, we're talking about the same thing.

Oh, yeah, yeah, catcher.

Wow.

So we could have that.

Yeah, that'd be a good effort.

That's what the factory is.

Delicious.

Is it actually?

Or are you guys messing with me?

It's next door.

Next door to us.

Yeah.

I would imagine cereal would be like such an American invention.

Oh, yeah.

I think exciting cereals are an American invention, but the sort of cereal that feels like a punishment to eat, that is British.

Dry, crunchy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we tipped the fun out of what you were doing.

And then the Americans go ahead and put in like colored marshmallows.

Yeah, exactly.

Making more fun.

Cereal where basically they put a sticker on the front saying, this is good for your bowels.

Like, that's the sort of cereal that does well here.

We all have to talk about gut and dietary health.

You know, it's important.

Get that fiber in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We always start with still a sparkling water, Anthony.

Do you have a preference?

So I just had this conversation with people recently.

So I like still water.

And my dad, who's a retired physician, was telling me that a lot of Europeans get kidney stones because they drink either mineral water or like spark, like naturally sparkling water.

And there's so many minerals.

You didn't ask for this information, but I'm going into it.

I believe it.

We did.

So apparently we ask this question every episode.

You have no idea.

No, but I need the details of how we are to hear a different answer.

So

apparently, and again, I'm going to be saying this a lot.

Definitely fact check this because I'm not a dietitian or a nutritionist or a water specialist for that matter.

But all of the mineral deposits, they kind of like calcify and that's why people get kidney stones.

So you should really limit how much sparkling water you have.

But then also kidney stones can be a problem from not drinking enough water, right?

Correct.

So you've just damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

We're all just screwed.

Yeah.

You've got to drink the exact right amount of still water.

Yes.

And without any minerals in it.

Correct.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you're having still water.

I love still water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And what temperature are we talking?

So it hurts my brain when it's too cold but it feels really good when it's cold and everyone always tells me that you should have room temp water aspirationally i'm a room temp guy in reality ice ice cold and i've been in the us for 12 years now and we just jam ice cubes into literally anything that we possibly can we want things to be as cold as humanly possible yeah i mean you notice that as soon as you go to america for the first time that when the jug of water's brought over that's full of ice and then correct and it's a jug not a glass yeah you're drugged But then they'll bring you a cup and that's full of ice as well.

Oh, yeah.

So much.

You're pouring ice on ice.

Let's use as much electricity as we possibly can.

Just consume, consume, consume.

That's our brand.

Yeah.

And you've traveled around a lot for this show for no taste of kind, but also like for queer eye.

Is there someone that has the best tap water?

I mean, I know New York usually is meant to be the best.

Don't you read my mind?

So I'm told, and this might be something that's just like peddled by the tourism board of New York, but someone once told me that New York supposedly has the best tasting tap water in the world.

My hunch is that it was probably disgusting in like the 60s or 70s or 80s, and then they really tried to clean it up.

I drink tap water in New York.

I'm very happy with it.

I really love it.

I had tap water in Bali.

Did not end well for me.

Ended up with Bali Belly right before a flight to South Korea to meet Aquafina for an episode of No Taste Like Home, me bringing it back full circle.

That's a lovely bit of exclusive content as well, because now you can watch that episode with Aquafina and just really look in your eyes to see how ill you are.

My skin was extra gray.

It was the most torturous flight I'd ever taken in my life.

They had to give me a double IV.

Really?

Yeah, in both arms.

I'm FaceTiming my dad, who again, physician, second time I mentioned him.

And he was like, what the hell?

Like, what are they putting?

I want to communicate with them.

And there were like language barriers.

We were like trying to figure out.

It was messy.

There better not be sparkling water in those IVs.

Yeah.

No, no.

Pumpgrams or bread.

Pumprums or bread, actually, Profsky.

Pumprum's all bread.

Wait, what?

Pumgram's or bread.

I heard or bread.

I didn't hear the first part.

You're gonna have to.

A lot of guests from North America don't hear what James says there because he doesn't enunciate well.

And also, it's just a bit confusing, isn't it?

Because you're shouting.

Maybe I'm just hard of hearing because I listen to my music too loud.

It might be both.

What music you've been listening to lately?

Really loud.

What's the last thing you pumped up and listened to?

So when I travel, I'm a big fan.

Do you know Noah Khan?

No.

Yes, I've heard the name.

He's really good.

He's from Vermont.

I saw him perform at Madison Square Garden.

One of his older albums is a lot about like when he was like touring.

So I like to like cosplay and pretend in my mind that I'm like a tortured musician with a guitar that I don't know how to play when I'm traveling and I miss my family and I miss my friends and like my heart's hurting, but I'm like trying to do my thing.

So I've been listening to a lot of him because he gets me in my feels.

Plus it's like, it's like, it's like muggy and cold in London this time of year.

So it's like, if I'm like feeling a little sad, I want to feel like extra sad.

So I want to listen to like good bluey music and walk around the streets like

a little moody in my emo, yeah, college vibes, trying to figure out who I am.

Also, I love to listen to Richard Ashcroft whenever I'm in London.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Walk through the crowd.

I thought of him today because I was walking on my way here and literally I was approaching the bridge and everyone was walking towards me and no one was walking the same way as me.

And I felt like

a sweet symphony.

Yeah.

I was like, here we go.

I love it.

It's pretty intense.

What a legend.

Do you want to tell Anthony what you shouted in his face, first of all?

Oh, yeah.

Tell me what you shouted.

I shouted pop a dumbs or bread.

Popadums or bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pop-adums, 100%.

There you go.

I'm glad.

I'm glad you finally got to hear what the question is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You're not the first.

You won't be the last to not know what I shouted and get confused okay yeah if that happens well you know what 50 yeah in today's economy to like accomplish anything on that level i think is pretty impressive i'm gonna tap myself on the shoulder yeah yeah and for viewers watching i just tap myself on my shoulder quite literally but you want pop-doms for this yeah um all the dips all the dips everything i want the tamarind water i want like the the yogurty water like a bit of reta like everything a bit of that creamy potato fill like all of it yeah yes obsessed obsessed yeah yeah when you're in the UK, do you go out for a curry when you can?

I do, I do.

Well, there's this restaurant.

I don't know if you guys have heard of it.

It's like really, it's mom and pop.

It's like under the radar.

It's called Deshoom.

Yes.

Yeah.

So that place is fantastic.

The Britannia Biriani really has my heart, along with the black doll.

There's also Dar Jeerling Express,

which is fantastic.

Have you been?

Yes.

I've still not been.

Have you not?

I thought you had.

You have to go.

I still not.

Osma Khan is a national treasure who needs to be protected at all costs.

She sat in that seat.

Stop.

She sat in that seat.

I cry every time I see her.

Yeah.

She's really cornered the Atlantic entertainment market.

I'd say.

I'd say most guests from North America who come on have been to Dodge Eling Express and absolutely.

Really?

Yeah.

I love how I talked about it.

Like it's like this niche thing, but she's like very appreciated and very known here.

She's in the US too, but not as big as she is.

Yeah, hugely appreciated, I think.

And yeah, it was a wonderful episode to have her on.

But no, I've still not been.

No, you have to go.

Crazy.

Go at lunch, bring a lot of friends so you can try a lot of things.

That's my advice.

Your dream starter.

I just want you to know that these types of questions, and this one is very specific, is literally my favorite topic of conversation.

I probably lost about an hour and a half of sleep yesterday because of it.

No, I'm serious.

I literally have in my notes app so many things that I listed, and I decided, fuck it.

Sorry.

Fudge it.

Fuck it.

I'm just going to like go with whatever my vibe is in the moment.

So that's what I'm going with right now.

So I want to to set the stage.

It's cold in London.

I'm wearing a proper like top coat.

I'm feeling cozy.

I miss home a little.

I'm in my feels listening to Noah Khan.

So my dream starter, I don't know why, but I just thought about my family and I was raised in Montreal and there was a place called Rotisserie Italienne.

It was written in French, a lot of language laws in Quebec.

Randomly, the place still exists.

Also, nothing is ever a short answer with me.

So apologies or not.

No, please, we love it.

And so, and it was a bunch of these old Italian dudes and they had hockey sticks everywhere because we're like super obsessed with universal health care and hockey in Canada.

And they ended up selling the spot and they actually sold it to a Chinese woman.

And everyone was like, it's not going to be the same.

These grandpas aren't there.

It's not going to be the same vibe.

You would order the food, you get it on a plastic tray, like in a cafeteria.

They yell at you when you're ready, but the food is fucking delicious.

And she ended up hiring like a bunch of her crew from one of her other restaurants to do it.

But she had the Italian guys train them for four months.

Oh, wow.

So it's a full Chinese staff and they make the most incredible Italian food, which which is like so dope.

So when I went there after Polish school on Saturdays, I would go typically with both my sisters, my mom and my dad would join us.

And there's so many things that are good on that menu.

But the one thing I want today, because I'm a little carb starved and because I chose Papa Dumbs and I didn't give a shout out to Bret, even though I said sourdough earlier, but I'm coming back to it now, mozzarella in carozza, which is one of my favorite things ever.

It's basically like trashy white bread, a thick fat fucking slab of mozzarella.

You press it, dip it in some egg wash.

So it's kind of like a French toast.

It soaks everything up.

You put it in breadcrumbs, throw it in a fryer.

I want it like 30 seconds before it's black.

I want a dark brown crust.

I'm not angry.

I'm just passionate.

And I want it in like a sweet marinara sauce that just kind of sops it up.

So the bottom half, you got a nice proper soggy bottom situation going on.

Then the top is crispy.

Dust it with some salt and a bit of like fresh cracked pepper.

Let's fucking go.

Like that's what I would have right now as a starter.

Yeah.

That sounds phenomenal.

And like, it's like a fancy grilled cheese.

I felt like I was there as you were describing it.

I could almost

go next time you're in Montreal.

I think it still exists.

Yeah, yeah.

I've only been once to Montreal, and now I regret that I didn't get that when I was there.

So, have you?

Yeah, yes, I've been once to Montreal.

Okay, it's like Deshoum, I know the rain, no one knows about it.

Could you see?

We had a nice meal in Montreal, yeah.

We did.

We went to where was it called because I thought the name was Joe Beef.

That's funny.

Did you have the lobster spaghetti?

We did have the lobster spaghetti.

Yeah, we did.

Well, we definitely had the lobster speaker.

We had sweet breads.

We definitely had some of lobster because Nish kept on exclaiming how good the lobster dish was.

So it was the lobsters forgetting.

Yeah, Joe Pefa is like, it's an institution at this point.

No, we're very happy with that meal.

But I want to talk more about this mozzarella.

Yeah, yeah.

How big is this thing?

So it's pretty hefty.

We're literally talking one slice of bread, a piece of mozzarella, folded over, deep fried, and then it's to me.

But now as I'm talking a bit, I'm kind of pivoting.

Oh, no.

I would like to retract my statement.

Oh, no.

I would like to have the exact same preparation, but instead, I want an aranchini.

Okay.

So fried risotto ball, leftover risotto, pack it in, choose your own adventure, but I would put peas.

I would put like a bit of prosciutto or mortadella and a bit of like a red sauce situation, like a marinara, fried up.

So literally the same thing, but instead of the bread, let's swap it for like day-old risotto so that it sticks together because I love rice.

It's going to be day old.

I'm struggling.

It's going to be day old because it's a little, it's a little stale and it like sticks together a lot better.

You can mix an egg with it to kind of like help it bind, but just like a perfect, beautiful orb, like a scotch egg, and you crack it open and then you have this beautiful surprise inside.

You're sneaking eggs into everything, yeah.

Fuck.

I guess I am.

Maybe I am obsessed with eggs.

You're obsessed with eggs.

I'm struggling to say goodbye to that first dish, though.

I can't believe you've just snatched it away from me.

Yeah, you described it so deliciously.

And now it's gone.

And I'm like, oh, I wanted to eat that.

And we also pivoted.

We turned it into rice.

It evolved.

But I love the idea of sneaking in a sandwich as a starter.

Yeah.

I think that's great.

You can't do that in

any other meal.

Snow sneaking a whole bunch of stuff.

This menu is my choice.

I get to do whatever the hell I want, right?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I mean, the arancini sounds great as well.

That sounds delicious.

And do they do, what's the name of the place again?

Sorry?

So it's Rotisserie Italiene.

And do they do an Arancini there?

They do Arancini as well.

I'm not as crazy with theirs.

If you want to go, yes, I did do my research because, yes, my assistant is like Ural's.

biggest fucking fan ever.

And she sent me like a top 10 of like things to watch.

And I listened to your Sebastian Stan episode and he talked about Via Carota and the anchovies on the bread, bread, which is delicious.

It is a 10 out of 10.

I don't disagree.

But their aranchini with njuha, it's kind of like a spicy pork paste.

They're perfect little balls.

And then they shave, they grate a little bit of parmigiano on it.

So when you eat it, there's no red sauce, no sauce that's served with it.

So they're quite dry.

But when you bite into it, the salt from the cheese and they salt them lightly, it hits your lips.

That's the first thing.

And then you get that crunch and then you get that awesome pull of like that spicy, just meat paste, spicy meat paste.

What a weird thing, but like it tastes delicious.

They They have my favorite Arancini in the city.

Sounds amazing.

We need to start a podcast just Anthony describing food.

Let's go.

This is, I mean, I can't.

Also, you're doing it in such a way while I'm trying to see if there's an auto-cue or something.

It's my favorite thing in the world to talk about.

You don't understand.

If you met any member of my family, I'm not even the worst.

Like, my dad is worse than I am or better.

Depends on how you consider it.

But it's like,

deeply, deeply obsessed with food.

Because all we've heard about your dad so far is he warned you to not drink sparkling water because it would give you kidney stones.

Correct.

But he does also talk passionately about food and enjoy it.

Extremely, yeah.

But it doesn't always end with him going, and then I'll give you kidney stones.

Not always, only with water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I love that.

I mean, I kind of want to throw in the little sandwich as well because you described it so well that I'd like it that you could have both as the starter.

Yeah, of course.

You can

a little duo.

If you've been going to that place since you were a little kid, have they known you like all your life?

Would you go in there now and they'll be like, Anthony, baby boy?

They haven't been back since queer eye came out which is interesting

i'm pretty sure it still exists it's on saint catherine street which is like the main street but yeah it was really it was truly like a hole in the wall place where like people working retail would go there for a quick lunch because it's very like in and out again yell at you when your food is ready kick you out whenever you're done oh they had a cold calamari salad with pickled vegetables it was really delicious and their tortellini with this parmesan cream like meat-filled tortellini very little pasta shit ton of meat tons of cheese terrible for my lactose belly as a child, but boy, was it delicious.

I feel like on the next season of No Taste Like Home, you should pitch an episode where you take yourself to Montreal just so you can go back to that place.

Just to go.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They could do the code of technology that they do when they, you know, someone has to play like two roles in a film.

Nice good screen, yeah.

Yeah, like Nutty Professor or something.

So if they have you like reference, you as the host and as the guest, you can talk to yourself.

And just me myself?

Yeah.

I'd be down for that.

Take yourself around Montreal.

that'd be would you want to do it like nutty professor and be in a different outfit in the costumes and everything yeah

i just feel like you know when to to quote my angelou like when you know better you do better and i feel like we're not in the time and place of like wearing fat suits anymore oh yeah yeah i was doing it's myself

also definitely wasn't her intention when she came up with that quote but like i think it still does apply yeah she didn't have nutty professor at the forefront of the brain when she was talking about it's a great album because i remember having the cd and like janet jackson was on there and like dmx and like yeah yeah that Janet Jackson song from Naughty Professors, correct.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah, music videos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was like so modern and when you watch it now, you're like,

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Your dream main course.

Dream main course.

I would go with

all right.

I love this battle that's going on in your head.

Yeah, because I have different things that are flying around.

I want my dream cheese and charcuterie board.

Am I allowed?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Talk us through it.

Compile it for us.

He's very excited about this.

He loves this charcuterie.

Yeah, this is the greatest.

Yeah, yeah.

Fucking go.

All right.

So, first of all, I would have some beautiful aberrico ham.

I want this thing cut paper thin so that I can see through it like glass because I want the fat to melt on my tongue.

And then I want eti vase, which is like a rare Gruyere that you can get that's just like sharp and nutty and sweet.

And I want it in like thick slices.

I also want, I know you guys have your cheddar, but there's a Vermont clothbound cheddar, Don't Come for Me, that is delicious.

It's a co-op of farmers in Vermont, and they all kind of like combine.

And it's, I think it's the greatest cheddar in the world.

It comes with like a big wax rind around it and it has those like little crystals in it.

I would have that with a bit of like a beautiful like a fig jelly situation.

And then I would want like a really good, oh, there's a French cheese called mimolette that's like bright orange that like looks artificial.

I love hard cheeses, but then I would have to have a stink or two, like a pois, like a good unpasteurized, like, has someone not bathed in a week?

Or are we opening up a cheese situation?

Because if you're not.

If you touch it with your fingers, you're not getting that smell off.

100%.

like that's what i want and then i want a fresh baguette with that i want some like nice seeded crackers i was at chiltern firehouse last night and i have they have this like it's like a healthy little snack it's like a pistachio whipped dip and they have these seed crackers that are only made of seeds but i would want it thicker so that it could carry the cheese so i would have that and then i would have like some good little champagne grapes for like a nice little sweet pop some dried apricots dried figs i love like a dried fruit situation and mixing the sweet with the salty also

um

so when we were in Italy, they, I discovered pistachio spread.

So like, you know, Americans love peanut butter, but you can get a pistachio spread at like good Italian markets and it is sweet.

It's so decadent.

I would have a little bit of that on like a sharp cheese on like a little cracker.

That would be amazing.

And maybe some, oh, maybe a good, you know what?

Shout out to the Brits.

Maybe some like nice Stilton.

Room temperature so that it's a little creamy.

And then I would shove it into a date.

That would be really nice.

And some breziola.

It's kind of like a version of like a beef prosciutto situation.

And then because I'm Polish, kabanos, which is, it's like our kiobasa, but you like let it hang dry and it's really thin.

I like to cut little dots into it and hang it off a handle in my kitchen so that all the fat, so that it really dries out, dipped into this Polish mustard called dobratiszcova, which means happy mother-in-law.

So it's like a sweet and spicy mustard.

So imagine like a sweet, spicy mustard and you're just dipping like a pork meat stick into it and you just have the crackle of that skin.

Cabanos is, I think, the only thing that's always in our fridge.

Wait, really?

Yeah.

How good is it?

Because we live around the corner from a Polish supermarket.

If my wife's getting back late and we don't have any food in, she'll be like, it's okay, I've got dinner sorted.

She'll just come home with loads of Cabanos.

Even if you want to make an omelette, you cut it really paper thin, render the fat so it's crispy little bites.

It's like a sweet, smoky pepperoni, and you throw it in there.

There's one with cheese in it as well.

Have you had the

novelty?

It's like chunks of cheese in it.

Yum.

Delicious.

Yeah,

it covers all the bases.

And then, wait, I'm almost done.

So what else do we need?

Oh, because I was raised in Quebec, so I would have like duck Riet, like a nice little fatty or like a rabbit tureen situation.

And then wait, am I missing anything else if there's another cheese?

Oh, the last cheese that I'm going to, I'm going to honor my Quebec heritage.

So we have this thing called crete de fromage, which means like cheese curds.

So they're like little crumbles.

Do you guys have those here?

No, but we've got similar stuff, but it's

what goes on poutine, right?

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yes.

I'm blushing.

That's how excited I am by that.

Because I forgot poutine existed for for a second.

When a poutine is executed, right, fucking slaps.

When you said duck, it reminded me of a poutine I had in Montreal.

You had it at Pierre Cochon.

I must have done.

Yeah, Pierre Cochon.

They put foie gras, and it's like a...

No, I didn't have the foie gras.

I don't think it was there, but it had confi duck poutine, basically.

I love confi duck so much.

Spiky comes apart.

Anyway, wait, back to the plot.

So cheese curds in, we call them Deponer.

It's kind of like a gas station, or like in New York, it's called a bodega, like a little convenience store.

And we keep them on the counter.

We, as if I'm doing it.

They keep them on the counter.

So they're room temperature.

So they're squeaky and they're just the right amount of oily.

And my dad's girlfriend, I refer to her as my stepmom.

She's French Canadian.

Whenever I go visit, I'm always, she's always like, what kind of snacks do you want me to get?

I'm like, keep it healthy.

Like, I don't want to eat too much food.

But she always gets me a fucking maple syrup pie and I destroy the whole thing within two days.

And she gets me a massive bag of cheese curds.

And what she does is she puts them in a bowl, dowses them with oil, fat on fat.

And then a little bit of like fresh cracked pepper or pink peppercorn, which is like part of her identity.

She's kind of obsessed with it.

It's like her, it's like her thing.

And then I just have that and you just pick at it with like a nice little toothpick.

Oh, wait.

And we also have to have olives on the platter as well.

Yes.

Castle of Atronto or Bust.

I do not want any wrinkly ass like looking olives.

I want them plump.

I want them meaty.

I want them green.

We were just talking about the Nando's olives before we started recording as well.

I'm obsessed with the Nando's olives.

They're very, very good olives.

If you ask them, they'll put them in a container and they'll sell you a large bunch so you can enjoy them with your own tears in your hotel room.

Yeah, that's true.

That's a fun little glimpse into my life.

They've really sorted the ratios out with those olives as well in recent years.

Like

for a while, there was like, it was like 50-50 between

the purpley ones and the green ones.

And now it's mainly green because they know that that's what people are there for.

No one wants the purpley ones.

I'm sorry, purple olive growers, but like just pivot.

Yeah, those are the ones.

Listen to the masses.

I am the masses.

I'm kidding.

But you are the masses.

I love a green olive.

Yeah.

And the little bits of the garlic cloves in there as well.

Oh my god.

and again.

Yeah.

Wait, mushroom?

Yeah, now and again.

Oh, for nuts.

It's like the Marcona almond.

Oh, wait, we didn't even get to nuts.

Sorry.

Okay.

So I would have beautiful Sicilian pistachios because it's my favorite nut.

And then I would have Marcona almonds, simple, roasted, nice little light brown situation.

Smoked or non-smoked?

Oh, smoked are really good, but also tamari almonds are really good.

Even though I don't like tamari soy, I love tamari almonds.

It's like the right amount of salt.

And last thing, I swear, I would include like a proper piece of honeycomb.

Oh, yeah.

I think for the salt of a cheese to have like a nice little piece of that like waxiness to put over it onto your like little cracker situation.

Delicious.

Now, all of that sounded phenomenal.

Yes.

I've had like honeycomb with cheese once or twice before.

I love it so much.

So that detail at the end

just elevated the whole thing for me into the stratosphere.

Maybe your favorite guest ever.

Yeah.

This is like, I want to eat all of this immediately because that honeycomb on there, doing all the different combinations what what is going to be say you've got you've got everything you just described in front of you yeah what's the best combination gonna be what's the best mouthful you're gonna have because you must start experimenting putting all the little venom together you're doing stuff what's gonna be the best mouthful of that with that you know you're asking me to pick a favorite

no just like maybe combo

because you said this the stilton with the date yeah

covered that one so let's get get you something fresh okay i would go for i think the brand is called rainforest and they're these like gourmet they're really pricey crackers that you get at like specialty stores.

And they have one with fig, pistachio, and rosemary.

And they're dark and they're thick enough where they really hold together.

So I would start with that.

And then I would like smear on a little bit of the pistachio butter, like the pistachio spread to get that like creamy, fatty, sweet saltiness.

And then I would put a piece of Gruyere, the etivas, thin slices over it.

It might be overkill because then we have a peanut butter and jam situation situation going on, but maybe a tiny bit of figs spread on top and then a little bit of flake salt.

Lovely.

Yeah, beautiful.

I love it.

Because just imagine it as it hits.

You get the salt.

You get the sweet, sticky figs.

You get the funky, like salty, like cheese.

And then you get another creamy, like sweet from the pistachio, kind of like a surprise, right?

Yeah.

It all sounds like a Michael Bay movie.

Like there's a lot of shit going on, but it's like, it feels good.

And you get the crunch of the cracker.

Phenomenal.

Have you ever, it was just, you said a Berico a while ago.

This is the, by the way, every single thing you added to it, I'm in heaven right now.

Yeah, this is, I can't tell you how much this is, this is the reason Ed started doing this podcast.

It's just hoping that one day someone would pick this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really?

This is incredible.

Yeah, yeah.

This is.

Which part specifically spoke to you, though?

Well, just every single element of it.

Oh, okay, cool.

If I could eat that all day, every day, that's what I'd do.

But my dream.

And I'm considering, I've got a big birthday in a couple of years, considering asking for this for my birthday present.

The big three and my wife.

Yeah.

The big three of course.

To get my own Iberico leg and just have it in the kitchen.

Can you imagine?

Get the stand.

How would you walk?

I would walk just fucking fine.

Until I'd eaten my own leg.

Yeah.

You go into that kitchen in the morning, you make your eggs.

A little bit of Iberico.

Sandwich at lunch.

A little bit of Iberico.

Dinner.

Side dish with your crispy Brussels sprouts.

Cubes of Iberico.

It goes along with that.

That's the dream, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Because it'd last a while, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah.

But you'd have to learn how to cut it.

I think there's a skill to cutting it.

Or there's a whole contraption thing that you get.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd buy the contraption.

Yeah, of course.

That's the dream.

That is the dream.

That'd be fun if

there's an episode of Queerwide where you have like a favorite guest, and when it's your section, you just bring them in a leg of Iberico and go, just got you this.

Can you imagine?

Just got you this.

Congratulations.

All the other guests will be.

This is all you get.

You're not redoing your kitchen, but you get a $2,000 Iberico contraption and the actual leg that Jose Andres hooked me up with.

And you're like, this is what I'm leaving you with.

Yeah.

Then they'll know they've been a good hero.

Oh, yeah.

Exactly.

They must have liked it.

Nothing else.

No more budget for Tan to pick out outfits.

It's like, we got him a like a

ham leg.

Here's what I'm curious about now, because you've got all of these different things going on.

And now I'm about to ask you what your dream side dish is.

Now, how do you do a side dish to a shark?

Yeah.

Doesn't matter.

Do you forget who we were speaking to?

No, it doesn't matter.

I clearly chose cheese and and meat as like my main course.

There wasn't a single vegetable listed there.

And I'm promoting health and wellness on Queer Eye.

So we've clearly gone left field here.

All right.

So my mind went, my mind just kind of did, like, do you watch Severance?

Yes.

I just kind of split into two.

One side of me is like, I don't know why I keep going to like, this would be my last meal.

So I'm like, I'm a little slut for caviar.

I'm sorry.

I am not sorry about it.

We had it as kids.

My parents would bring it from Poland.

It was a lot cheaper.

I know it's an elitist thing, but having that over soft scrambled eggs or a tub of that over over ice with some like perfect like kettle crisps so they can carry it with a bit of creme frache and a bit of like finely diced chives.

And then there's the other side of me that wants like the best mac and cheese ever.

So do you know a thing called hamburger helper?

You know what?

I've heard it so much on TV shows and in films.

I still don't know what it is.

It's like an instanti boxed mac and cheese.

You add your ground meat and Americans decided, yeah, we're going to call that a meal.

And I was denied that kind of food growing up because my parents ate really well.

So we weren't allowed to have like trashy food.

And so one of my favorite things to do on a Sunday or if I'm visiting like friends of mine and like Sunday is like my day where I just like, it's like no holds barred.

Like I eat whatever the hell I want.

I don't work out.

Like it's very, it's like a lazy day.

And to make a vat of mac and cheese using all my favorite cheeses, cavatopi pasta or a bow tie every once in a while, depending on like, and then throwing in like ground beef.

or even like bison or lamb or ground turkey and just having that bake with like that crispy, like those crispy edges when they get browned and you get to like peel them them off.

Cause it's one of those things like your lasagna, third time we mention it.

You have it when it's warm, but then you go back and you have it cold.

And it's so good.

It's so good.

Especially when it goes from like really hot because I can't help myself and I end up burning my mouth.

When you eat it when it's colder, you actually taste it a lot better, right?

Like some of the flavors are more pronounced, I think.

Could you combine these two?

Could you put caviar on the mac and cheese?

Is that insane?

Everyone's dumping caviar on everything these days.

Honestly, it's like, it's not for me.

Like, I don't don't think caviar should be warmed up.

It should be eaten as cold as possible, even though I put it on soft scrambled eggs sometimes.

No, I keep, it's for me, it's church and state.

Like, keep both of those separate.

The caviar thing just seems to be like a status thing.

Now, it's like

gold minutes.

That's why I was embarrassed.

Yeah.

It's like gold flakes.

Gold flakes piss me off.

Sorry, gold miners.

No, but it's just so useless because it doesn't taste like anything and it's so performative.

It's so dumb.

It's for the picture.

Exactly.

And caviar is something that's so delicious and luxe and oceanic and it's like creamy when it's done right.

And I mean, even salmon row, if you want the cheaper stuff with some sticky rice, I love

some swale egg and some uni, wrap it up in some toasted nori.

So for the mac and cheese.

Yeah, sorry, back to the topic.

Which meat are you going for in there for your dream, your dream meal?

What would you like?

The meat that's mixed in.

Yeah.

Some good quality ground beef.

Like a 70 to 80, 80 to 20 ratio.

It's got to be fatty enough so you can actually taste it, brown it.

I just, I love ground beef.

Like as much as I, I love a tomahawk, I love having a good steak with my dad.

It's like our ritual when I go visit him.

A beautiful like pork chop is delicious when it's still pink in the inside, but, or duck, but ground beef for me is like, it's such joy.

It's a burger.

I, it's what I use when I make like a lazy bolognese during the week and I want to like.

don't want to spend the whole day in the kitchen.

It's just the texture of it is, it's what I use for meatloaf.

Like it's just, ground meat is the best.

If we're going for the caviar option is it with the uh the crisps the potato chips if you will crisps potato chips just kind of dipped in i don't want flavors there's a french brand called breton b-r-e-t-o-n which is very prevalent here it's hard to find in the us

those are really good the ridgy ones they have to be solid lays are very good but they're so thin that sometimes when you put it into the caviar they just break apart heartbreak you know wow first world problems don't you hate it when your chip breaks in caviar I mean, that should be the name of this podcast, to be fair.

So there's a, you know, trigger warning at the top of every episode.

First world problem.

First world problems.

We're about to complain.

No, but you know what I mean.

Like, you want them to be like sturdy enough to like carry.

And I love a fresh bleenie, but the crunch of the salt on salt, it goes nicely.

We did it with Pringles on Christmas Eve.

I'd fuck with that.

Yeah, it was really good, but that is, you can't be dipping.

You're spooky.

Well, unless you take two or three of them.

Yeah.

Pringles are the most satisfying when you take 10 of them.

Yeah.

You put them in, and it's that crunch.

Oh, yeah.

That is good actually.

The tin is so satisfying.

We've not talked about that on the podcast yet.

Crunching multiple Pringles.

Yeah.

Do you want to know something really random that was just an intrusive thought in my brain and I started speaking?

So I guess I will.

You want to know when I learned that I was going through puberty?

Yep, I do.

That was a minor.

It's not

when I remember putting my hand into a tin of Pringles and it didn't fit.

And I was like, whoa, I'm like becoming a big boy.

Yeah, yeah.

I've never thought of that before, but I just remembered that thought.

I'm becoming a big boy.

Isn't that weird?

I had a man.

I don't think I said big boy, but yeah, sorry.

I had a very similar thing when I was going through puberty.

Go on.

I knew it.

I knew it.

I said, it's all the digital

cheap Pringles.

Careful, ladies.

So every time you have Pringles, do you think about that moment?

I don't, but it literally just hit me now when you described having them.

From now on, every time you have Pringles, you're going to think about when you realize you were going through puberty.

Yeah, and I hope all of your lovely viewers try to think about when they first hit puberty and like what that felt like yeah contact it send benito an email when when did you first go through puberty there you go yeah yeah

every single detail please thank you so much i realized i was going through puberty when i looked in the mirror and i had a moustache like the pringles man yeah yes i saw the pringles man staring back at you it's like five hairs yeah julius pringles one of our first bits of material when i started doing stand-up was a a bit that i thought was relatable about like

i'd say hey everyone do you remember when you were in uh school and uh you didn't have pubes yet, but you told everyone that you did, and there's just absolute silence and you go, well, I guess that's that.

I guess that's not a relatable verbal.

That was the first draft to the writing table.

No one's lied about pubes.

You got to try these things, haven't you?

Yeah, that's all the open bike circuits for.

Well, once again, I want to let you have both of these options because you've made them both sound so nice.

Yeah, I think we've got to let you have both.

I mean, the crisps and caviar almost could come right at the start.

It's a good way to start.

It's It's a really good way to start.

Yeah, yeah.

That'd be a lovely little chef's welcome.

Yeah, a little chef's welcome.

Born a good baked potato.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

The caviar and the baked potato.

Oh, I'm sick for caviar and a baked potato.

Full fat sour cream, just knobs of good French, salty Normandy butter, and then just like heaps of that caviar.

Delicious.

Amazing and good.

Yeah.

Your dream drink.

Someone just spat across the table.

Did you?

Yeah, yeah.

It fell short of you.

Oh, that's fine.

But

I've never done that before on the podcast.

That's how much you got me salivating with this.

Because you're excited.

That's good.

This food.

Better than dead in the eyes.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Better than being dead in the eyes.

Exactly.

That's what I always say.

Yeah.

Better a bit in your face than being dead in the eyes.

That's actually the name of my memoir.

It's what's coming up next month.

I'm really excited for you guys to read it.

So dream drink would be.

You got a lot going on on the meal.

So are you going to try and pair the drink to the meal or are you just going to go for for no i'm just going with my vibe nice oh i love a shirley temple but when i order them as a grown-up having like just ginger ale or seven up is way too sweet so i do a 50 50 with uh soda water and just jam it packed with those like the shitty maraschino cherries i don't want a fancy dark purple looksardo cherry i want the shitty neon fluorescent color looking you know what i'm talking about like the good you know one of those or i love like sour and acidity so i think like a wonderful shrub would be really nice with like maybe like a strawberry basil shrub with a bit of apple cider vinegar and soda.

Like I love with like just like some crushed ice.

Nice.

Just like refreshing and like maybe add some tartness in there.

I don't know, maybe like persimmon.

I don't know.

I'm overcomplicating things, but like I love I love a good shrub.

When I see that on a list somewhere and I love to make them at home, it's like my favorite thing during the week.

Cause I always try to have a shot of apple cider vinegar, but apparently, because you know people are obsessed with it, apparently it's like really good for your gut.

Yeah, that's one of the things.

But people like drink them and apparently it like destroys destroys the lining of your like esophagus and your trachea and your stomach, and it like fucks shit up.

So I like mixing it in with things so that it tastes a little better.

Talk us through how you make a shrub.

So I would typically,

let's say, I've already pivoted because now I'm thinking of Maine blueberries.

I knew the pivot was coming.

Yeah.

You know me too.

And so I would, in a muddler, I would take some like fresh Maine blueberries when they're in season because they're so sweet and delicious.

And then take a lot of mint, maybe like a little bit of sugar, but you barely even need any.

And then I would go ahead and like muddle that, add a bit of the vinegar, the red apple cider vinegar, and then just top it off with soda water.

But then I had dinner with a friend of mine recently who for her 50th birthday.

I asked her what she wanted.

I fucked up.

I didn't get her a gift.

It was her 50th birthday.

She had this grand dinner.

And I was like, as your gift, I'm going to make you whatever the fuck you want.

We're going to have a mutually agreed upon date and I will execute.

She had me make like a proper Vietnamese phoga, which I spent the entire day in the kitchen making.

It was crazy.

But for a drink, she asked for a lemongrass soda.

And I had some lemongrass that I actually brought from either, I was either in Bali or Borneo.

And I just had these stocks that I brought back that were like dried.

And so I made a simple syrup with that and served it over soda with a lime leaf.

And it was delicious.

It was like just so refreshing.

And like lemongrass is very spa-like.

It just makes you feel good, you know?

I love lemongrass.

I love that you asked for a friend, just like I'll it.

Oh, she wanted to be a friend of mine.

And she absolutely went hard on you.

Yeah, and she wanted nemes, but like northern Vietnamese.

So I'm like reading all these blogs about how to make phoga because it's like such a, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Like so phoga is like, it's a, I'm probably butchering the pronunciation, but it's a Vietnamese broth with noodles.

And then you have like a chicken breast cutlet thinly sliced and you have little Thai chilies and you put all these like fresh herbs and mint

and choreography.

The broth takes ages because first you have to blanch.

No, first you have to clean the chicken, which Polish people we don't fucking clean the chicken we just like roast it it's fine they clean the chicken you blanch it removes all the impurities skim them off the top throw it in your disinfected sink I've never disinfected my sink so many times in a period of like all day then you have to cut it up every single inch to expose the marrow and then cook it again in fresh water so that it all the gross stuff comes out of the marrow because that's where all the flavor is and then a third time put it in and that's when you start skimming and reducing the broth and there's a little bit of I think I put a bit of clove and coriander seed and a lot of cilantro stems in like a little basket and just let it sit there.

And it's so flavorful, but it's like a perfectly clear broth that looks like it would taste like hot water, but it's just like so flavorful.

Wow.

Yeah.

You're a good friend.

Yeah.

I'm not going to lie.

I like, I really showed up and she was impressed.

I think as I'm washing the chicken, I'm googling Vietnamese restaurants near me.

Oh, yeah, 100%.

It's a labor of love.

Yeah.

But like a lot of this good stuff is like these, these moms and these grandmas, like they spend all day in the kitchen making them.

Yeah.

You know?

I agree about washing chickens, by the way you do yeah we don't wash chickens in the uk do we well they frash around too much and i and

you know it's ridiculous i'll wash my cat you wash your cat yeah but he's a bit like a chicken he's got wise to it now really i have a i have one of those i have a sphinx cat and he's beautiful yeah don't don't worry you're a cat guy yeah i've got four cats we're both cat guys but james has got four and i've got one

i've got four pretty cool um but he's got wise to it yesterday i I literally just opened the cupboard and got the coconut oil out of the cupboard.

He saw it and hid under the bed.

So he's now associating washing with coconut oil.

He goes, that's bath time.

Yeah.

Interesting.

And that's the first time he's done that.

I mean, they know.

I'm normally able to trick him, but he's now getting to the point where he's like, right, and he gets to the exact point of the bed where I can't reach him.

And I had to just, you know, go.

You're going to have to put the coconut oil in like a...

in a disguised jar or something.

Yeah.

And keep disguising it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, every time.

It used to be one step ahead.

New jar every time.

Yeah, new jar every time.

Like, maybe I put on a disguise each time.

I don't know.

Whatever it is, I'm going to have to really go big to trick the skills.

Just in case I feel like you should do both.

Yeah,

just in case.

I'll dress as a massive coconut oil bottle.

Yeah.

Switch things up and disguise the coconut oil.

Move every six months to change the environment.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Your life's going to go with a bathroom.

It's your entire identity now.

Have you thought of washing with coconut oil in front of him to show him that it's fine?

maybe I should do that yeah I think you should try it tonight yeah yeah I'll try that tonight yeah I'm pretty sure that'll be okay I can't see anything weird sounds about right to me

I think that'd be fine yeah yeah I'll wash in coconut oils show him that it's fine yeah and then I'll have to like you know with a flannel with warm water that's got the um the pet shampoo in it yeah wash with that yeah and then I'll give myself a little cat treat in front of him

as one does yeah I'll eat that to show this is what you get at the end of it then you go for shit in a tray I go for shit in a tray you

You guys are both cat people.

That tracks.

Yeah, yeah.

You're a dog guy.

Benito's a dog guy.

That is fucking.

Fucking love dogs so much.

I like dogs.

I like dogs a lot.

So my really good friend Leah has a theory that we are cats and dogs in relationships and in our lives.

So for me, I'll start with myself.

In relationships, I am a dog.

I can unconditionally love pretty quickly if I'm into you.

I don't play games.

It's all out there.

I'm like drooling and excited.

It's like, that's my vibe.

Like I'm excitable by everything.

And in my life with friends, I'm the exact same way.

My friend Leah, she's a cat in relationships.

Strategic, a little sneaky, a little bit of like the finger twiddle.

Like she's figuring things out.

Like you don't really know their next move.

What are you guys?

I've had this discussion with my wife.

I think we established that I am

a dog.

Yeah.

Labrador.

Yeah.

Sort of guy.

And she, I mean, she sleeps a lot more than me.

So a cat.

Gotcha.

Definitely.

Okay.

Probably like a gerbil.

A gerbil, yeah.

Yeah.

Just sticking.

That's not one of the options.

Only going to last two years.

I don't know.

They are.

Probably I'm a bit of a dog.

A dog.

I think, you know, yeah, I'm more kind of like more needy than a cat is.

But then, you know, a dog is maybe a bit aware of that and is trying to work on it.

Right, right, yeah.

A self-aware dog, an evolved dog.

Actually, maybe I am like a Sphinx cat because he's like a bit dog-like as well as being a cat.

Like he wants attention and hugs and stuff, but he's also pretty independent and can go off and do his own thing.

Whenever cat people say that like their cats are really dog-like, I feel like it's just a ruse to try to convince us dog people that their cats are cool.

Yes.

We don't care what you dog people think.

Yeah.

You know that we look down on you.

I like cats.

Well, the cats are smarter.

I'm just deathly allergic.

Yeah.

Well, what can you do?

And they always want to rub themselves up against me.

Yeah, because they know you don't want that.

They know that I don't want it.

See, I'm quite allergic to cats, but but so we've got a Siberian cat.

So it's supposed to be hypoallergenic, but he's not.

But

it's beautiful, too.

I've got Maincoin.

The barn cats, they're stunning.

He's got one of those.

He's got four cats.

Imagine seeing a mane coon next to a Sphinx.

It's hilarious.

Every day in my life.

Every day in my life is absolutely hilarious.

I'm going to ask for photos afterwards.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll show you photos.

They were playing together last night, those two.

It's the funniest combo.

When those two play

up like this, it's like, yeah, they all get along.

They're one big cat gang.

But every now and again, they just pair up and they'll like hang out.

And those two hanging out is the funniest that's the funniest one yeah one of them was like going we got we got the footrest and the sofa and there's a little gap between it sometimes and the sphinx goes in the gap and then the main coon jumps on him it's brilliant

this is why you can't get james out the house i was gonna say who needs to go out when you have that at home right anywhere so once again i think just let you have all those drinks and we'll just pair them with the different courses

i think this is going to be the only episode where reading the menu back at the end takes longer than the actual episode i

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You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

You check your hair and reflective surfaces and the world around you for recession indicators.

So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are in this economy.

Next time, check Lyft.

We arrive at your dream dessert.

Now,

Anthony's gone very serious.

Yeah, he's gone very, very serious.

This is not a laugh in my life.

I'm glad you captured that on camera because...

I enjoy sweets, but I don't have like a crazy sweet tooth.

I'll start with that, okay?

Okay, I'm feeling intense.

Another chocolate checkboard.

Like to start simple, like the simple pleasures in life, you know what?

No, scratch it.

I was going to say like the most amazing in-season blueberries with like some hand-whipped cream.

simple but like we already did blueberries with a shrub so let's fuck that i will honor where i am right now a beautiful sticky toffee pudding with a caramel sauce and like a vanilla bean ice cream that's just perfectly melty so that it's basically become a creme anglaise to me is it i'm caramel over chocolate any day of the week yeah salted caramel especially with like a good flake salt makes me so happy yeah and sticky toffee pudding is warm it's comforting

but growing up, I loved creme brulee.

It was my favorite dessert to have with my sister.

The pivot happened way quicker than I expected.

Oh, really?

Oh, sorry.

You don't know me.

No, let's stick with sticky toffee pudding.

Let's keep it simple.

It's like when apples are in season, a little crumble is where you get them.

Sticky toffee pudding is really, I just think it's beautiful because it's just like that spongy cake just like soaks up that sauce.

And it's, oh, it's just, it's, it's perfect.

It's for me, when it's executed well, it's perfection.

Have you had sticky toffee pudding at like restaurants in the UK?

Is there one particular one that sticks in mind?

Room service at a hotel in LA.

I'm embarrassed to say, but it's really good.

Actually, the hotel is called the London.

Oh, yeah.

So we're kind of there.

We're kind of adjacent.

Yeah, I've stayed there.

And that's somewhere where, yeah, we used to stay there for a lot of like press junkets and stuff.

And they would have things and, you know, like late night, go up with my castmates.

It was like a, like a queer eye ritual.

And we just like get all the desserts.

And Tan has a sweet tooth.

So he would like order all the

tan yeah

um

here's a question for you yeah

you shouldn't have to say that if you're interviewing someone let's say

let's say

let's say there's a

sorry that one hit mine that one's good uh episode of queer eye where you've all got to swap roles okay what and this isn't saying that what they do is easy yeah but which of the other four do you think i think i could do that all right for an episode I think I think wait for me to do their category or for them to do mine?

Both.

Great.

Cause you know I can't do one simple answer.

Clearly, it's not my thing.

Look, I could not do what Jeremiah does in terms of I love, I love furniture.

I have a background.

I worked as a gallery director in like post-war and French American deco.

Like I love individual pieces, but I can't put the whole thing together.

The same way with fashion, like picking out a whole outfit is hard, but I'm like, oh, that's a cool t-shirt.

I want that cool little like vintage strokes here or whatever it is, or like a perfect like cut of jeans.

But like putting the big picture is hard.

But I think for Jare, what I really love, what he did this season is that he got so personal about our hero's needs and like really, I don't know, he just, I feel like he did, he just, him and his team did a fantastic job of kind of like creating a real home for them that wasn't just beautiful for camera, but it was something that they could actually live with.

In a similar way that I feel like to some extent, I try to explore people's relationship with food where I try to make something, except one episode in the latest season i up i did the i did a dumb thing that i should not have done and it's fine and i'm talking about it so clearly it's not fine

um

but i think yeah interior design would be an interesting one um but i would definitely need some help and then in terms of somebody taking on my role Jared cooks for his kids a lot, and I know he's really good.

JVN's not too much of a cook, but like, okay.

Karama loves Skittles and Coca-Cola, so that's a hard pass.

I'm not saying anything he hasn't said publicly, so it's okay.

He's somehow alive.

But Tan is an excellent cook and he is maybe the best doll I've ever had in my life.

And he makes beautiful curries.

And I think he would really excel.

Great.

That was a good question.

It was a good question.

I never doubted the quality of the question.

But you just would.

I always doubt when you go, here's a question for you.

Here's a question for you.

It's like me saying, and here's an answer.

Yeah, yeah, I have an answer for you.

You're lucky, Anthony, that James didn't do something he did the other day on an episode where a guest started to tell an anecdote and James went, Yeah, I've heard this one

because it's from the guests themselves or they said it in an impressive junkie.

Different interviews.

So, literally, when I was on my way here, I was like talking to my publicist and like the Nat Geo team, no taste like home available soon on Disney Plus.

And I was like, oh, I was like, I want to make sure that I like talk about different parts of different episodes that I'm not just like rinse and repeating all the time because you want to make it interesting, right?

On different platforms.

You literally just tapped into my biggest insecurity.

I had a beat of sweat sweat go down my back when you said that because I was like, did I say anything that I've repeated already?

But I haven't.

No, yeah.

It was all uniquely just for you guys.

Yes.

I felt like, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to leave your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it.

Okay, great.

Oh, God, this is going to be so chaotic.

So you're saying,

sorry, as soon as you arrive, we're giving you caviar on the Breton crisps.

Then we're giving you some New York tap water with loads of ice.

Then you want popped ones with all of the dips.

Then starter, you're going to have an Arancini and the mozzarella in Carroza.

Correct.

In the carriage.

Marinara sauce from Rotisserie Italiane in Montreal.

Yes.

Main course, your dream cheese and charcuterie board, which has a berico.

It's got a lot on it.

I can't read all that.

I am so sorry, by the way.

I really apologise.

You don't remember all this down, did you?

Side dish of mac and cheese with ground.

Give us a few examples of things that happen on the board.

Well, yeah, there's cheese curd.

Casual dates, pistachio.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Cabernos.

There's the duck roulettes, olives.

Huh?

Drink.

Benito's just wrote all those drinks.

Sounds about right.

Should keep up with this one.

Shut up with those race.

You're the first guest we've ever had on who has worn him out.

He couldn't keep up with it.

I'm so sorry.

Wait, why is your wrist twitching so much?

Yeah, watch your own wine.

He's completely.

It was a really tough episode for him.

And dessert, you would like a sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream that has gone almost like a creme anglaise.

Yeah, and that sounds great.

A tiny bit of malden flake salt on top.

Yeah, just for a little bit of salt for you.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

It'd be good to get some salt into this.

I will be shitting myself so hard after that meal.

Yeah, well, I think we all will.

That's the next podcast.

We do a spin-off.

We're starting in Patreon and we do an extra episode where we talk about the guest shit.

Full circle.

We talked about gut health with sourdough at the beginning.

There you go.

And

you got the gut health going before you get to the restaurant, and then you've absolutely destroyed it with the break.

It's ruined.

You just destroyed your microbiome and then you can go ahead and like reset, you know?

Well, that's why it's a dream.

That's exactly right.

Thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant on Sundays.

This is a lot of fun.

I'm fucking starving now.

Wow, what an episode, James.

Fantastic.

Fantastic.

The weight.

Absolutely.

So good.

He's so obsessed with food.

That's what we like.

Loves.

Knows his stuff.

But Ito was saying, like, doesn't think he's ever heard someone just be able to, like, so quickly and in so much detail talk about food to like to that degree.

Um, Anthony did not say old rotten spaghetti.

Love spaghetti.

No, he didn't say old rotten spaghetti and he didn't say old rotten spinach either.

Yeah, yeah.

He didn't say old rotten spinach.

So thank you for that, Anthony.

That means we can once again plug no taste like home with Anthony Perovsky, which is on Disney Plus now.

It's on Disney Plus now.

It looks absolutely amazing.

Incredible guests.

Aquafina, Henry Golding, James Marsden, Florence Pugh, Ita Ray and Justin Thoreau.

I can't wait to see this show, James.

Even more so now I've met Anthony and talked to him about his foodie passions.

And you can remember the Aquafina episode.

He has a dicky tummy.

Yes.

Do look in his eyes and imagine how dicky his tummy is.

Yes.

Thank you very much, Anthony.

Thank you very much, Ed.

Thank you very much, James.

Thank you, Benito.

Thank you, Benito.

You know, Benito has said he's been taking a lot of shit today.

We've done two episodes today.

We bullied him a lot in the first one.

You know, he's probably cock watching a little bit now.

He's getting ready to go home.

But we want to let him know that we're very grateful for all of his hard work.

Yes.

When Benito goes home and he hates it even more.

This is what's great.

When you say something nice and sincere to him, he goes completely like he's going to.

He's like, oh, fuck it.

Fuck off.

When he gets back,

he's like, fuck off.

He's back down in the dumps.

And his partner says to him, what do they mean to you again, Benito?

And you go, no, they started being nice.

I hated it.

I don't like it.

I hated it.

We will see you again next week.

Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

You check your feed and your account.

You check the score and the restaurant reviews.

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So you check all that, but you don't check to see what your ride options are.

In this economy, next time, check lift.

Hello, I'm Carrie Ad.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.