Ep 270: Sebastian Stan

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

Ever heard of the Royal Albert Hall?

I have.

We've done live shows there.

And guess what?

We're doing more live shows there next year.

Sure, a lot of them are sold out already.

But we thought, hey, throw these guys a bone.

Let's put on one final Royal Albert Hall show in that run.

The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

You'll have to come along on the 16th of March to find out.

If I'm correct in thinking, presale tickets go on pre-sale on the 10th of September.

Pre-sale tickets are 10th of September at 10 a.m.

And then the general sale is 12th of September at 10 a.m.

So if you miss out on the pre-sale, don't forget general sale is only two days later.

The day in between is for reflecting.

Get your tickets from royalalberthall.com Hall.com or offmenupodcast.co.uk.

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Welcome to the Off Mini podcast, taking the pickle of conversation, dipping it in the batter of friendship, frying it in the oil of humor.

Fried pickles.

Frickles.

Frickles.

That's it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Castle.

Together we own a dream restaurant.

Every single week we invite in a guest and ask them their favourite ever.

Start a main course, dessert, side dish, and drink.

Not in that order.

And this week, our guest is Sebastian Stan.

I like frickles, man, but sometimes when they're the big spears, there's too much liquid in them.

So I prefer a frickle that's slice.

Yeah, I like it to be, you know, in like coined

coins.

Frickle coins.

They're nice.

Yeah, when they're long, they're going to be full of molten pickle juice.

Yes.

And you're in big trouble if you bite into that.

Sebastian Stan is a wonderful actor.

Yes, he's absolutely freaking.

Huge stand stands.

We like so many of his movies.

Please don't say that to him.

Huh?

Don't don't say I'm a stand stand to him.

I bet he's never heard that before.

Because sometimes these Hollywood actors, they don't know what's going to happen, do they?

They're going around all day.

They're being thrown into situations to talk about their films.

And I don't know how Sebastian Stan is going to react to, let's be honest, an odd man saying, I'm a standstan.

Surely these people have said I'm a standstand to him before.

Yeah, but not immediately in a professional context.

Because, you know, this is a small studio.

I think he's going to be scared.

And then I know you're going to bring up Marvel and some of your theories.

All I heard is that you see this as a professional context.

For him, he's been told it is.

Compliment received.

He doesn't know what he's coming into.

He thinks it's a professional context.

Well, listen, talking about a professional context, a different man is out now.

Yes.

It's Sebastian's new film.

That's the name of the film.

We're not saying it's a different guest now.

We're not saying he's cancelled while we've been talking.

Because I said I was a standstill.

Yeah, a different man is coming in.

Yeah, yeah.

No, a different man is here because I've blown it.

A different man is a psychological thriller comedy about a man who undergoes facial reconstruction surgery only to become obsessed with the actor who plays him in a stage production based on his former life.

It sounds super fascinating.

I'm really excited to see it.

And also, the film is the pass of the torch from non-disabled actors portraying characters with disabilities to actors with disabilities playing who they want to play.

So beyond villain, victim, or outcast roles.

I think it's really exciting.

I just didn't read that, if anything.

You just came up with that.

I just came up with it.

I just know it anyway because I'm a standstack.

But like...

I'm really excited to go because like the storyline itself already has got me hooked.

But also like what the film is doing beyond that also is like really exciting and interesting so I'm really looking forward to hearing what Sebastian has to say about the film absolutely his co-star is Adam Pearson who has been you know I think a bit of a mainstay of British TV I've seen him on on various things so I'm excited to see how he tackles this role very exciting very excited to have Sebastian on the podcast but of course if he says the secret ingredient an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable We will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant.

Yes, we will.

And the secret ingredient this week is Winter Pease.

Winter peas, of course.

Sebastian played Bucky, the winter soldier in the Marvel universe.

So winter?

Yes, winter.

And then we googled what foods have the word winter in them.

Well, that's not true.

You said winter peas straight off the bat.

I did.

And then we googled to check if winter peas were a thing.

Benito did.

Benito rarely thinks I've got it right.

Yes.

So he googled it first.

Everything that James has ever said.

So I said winter peas, and he was like, well, I'm going to Google an actual thing that has the word winter in them.

And he was like, oh, okay.

Fair enough.

Yes.

But he admits it that i was right yeah well let's speak to sebastian stan shall we james yes this is the off-menu menu of sebastian stan

welcome sebastian to the dream restaurant hello

welcome sebastian stan to the dream restaurant but it's been here for some time thank you were you surprised by the genie there

uh

yes yes i was very nice of you to say that

you're a surprise have you ever had like a surprise like that on set an explosion go off and it wasn't supposed to yeah somebody brought in that fart machine at one point you know the one where you put under the seat yeah and um that one was going around for a little while that was sort of funny because you could be having a really intense conversation

yeah

but it it still works it still gets people laughing it's good stuff even i was you know i wasn't there for that but even just the description of the fart machine i'm on board with it as a a joke.

Yeah, it's always a good time.

I imagine though, it depends where you are.

Whoever bought that fart machine in, I reckon there's a certain place down the call sheet where past there, you can't be the guy who's bringing in the fart machine.

If you're pretty new and you're still feeling it out of people, and the fart machine goes off, and number one on the call sheet was the one who is meant to look like they farted, they're gonna go, okay.

I think it's usually, yeah, I think it has to be,

you know, you have to be in it for a couple weeks and get to know people's humor and stuff.

I once worked on this movie and we all got along really well.

And then I remember it was one of the actresses' birthdays and I got them like a whole animal farm.

Oh, like they were like rabbits and llamas and pigs and like everything.

They just came with everything at the trailer.

And, you know, they were so surprised to find geese like coming out of coming out of the trailer.

But, you know, it has to be, yeah.

I may not, you know, I wouldn't want to do that to like Daniel Day-Lewis or something.

And it has to be the right kind of film and whatever, you know.

Unless his character that he was playing could love is like a farmer, in which case that would be fantastic for him, wouldn't it?

Yeah, I mean, listen, he's, um, I was just reading, he's, he's made a cameo in his son's movie, so he's he's returned after seven years, even for a little bit, but we'll take it, right?

Yeah, interesting.

A method actor making a cameo in their kids' movie.

Because then he's in he's in character around his son all the time.

Surely his son at some box will go, dad

i wonder i yeah i wonder i don't know what the part is but but you know i'm sure it's just as committed as always

well apparently he'd go home in character anyway so i'm sure his son's seen it all before yeah yeah he's never met his dad he doesn't know who his dad is just a string of characters yeah let's talk about a different man your new film what can you tell people about it who don't know about it oh jesus i mean it's just like it's like a rubik's cube trying to explain it i'll just say that most people that see it go i've never seen anything like this movie.

And that's usually a good sign in the world where we're like getting everything all the time in a trailer.

It's just one of those films where I think you don't anticipate what happens.

And it's long story short, it's about an actor who has neurofibromatosis, which is a real thing, a real condition.

And he decides to go under undergo a reconstruction surgery for his face and desperately wants to fit into the world and look like everybody else.

And he successfully undergoes it.

And then instead of all of his sort of preconceived dreams coming true,

his life turns down a spiral of self-hatred and obsession and identity breakdown.

And the way that sort of happens is really, really unique.

very funny and also like supremely tragic.

I love, I mean, it's quite exciting that theme of the film about who should play certain roles as well.

That's one of the themes that's in there.

And you must have had loads of

great conversations on set about what you wanted to do with the film and different people's opinions.

Did it lead to interesting conversations away from the film as well in your life, in your job that came from your experience of doing this?

Well, yeah, I mean, Aaron Schimberg, who wrote it and directed it, is disfigured himself.

He's got a cleft palate and his previous film as well sort of dealt with, you know, disfigurement and disability and sort of our uncomfortability around it and the lack of conversation around it.

And he encountered in his previous film by casting Adam Pearson, who's great in this film, a lot of backlash towards the fact that maybe

him being accused of sort of exploiting Adam by casting him.

So then when he was writing this movie, he thought, well, I can't really get an actor just in prosthetics because then I'm I'm not representing, you know, in the right way.

So if I'm trying to cast someone appropriate and I'm accused of exploitation and then I'm casting an abled actor to play someone disfigured and I'm also getting accused for that, then ultimately nothing happens and nothing moves forward and there's no conversation out of it.

So he was like, okay, I'm going to make a movie where I can do both.

And I'm just going to kind of see how it translates and I'm going to have these two characters sort of go at each other.

And it's incredibly smart because I feel like he really flips in the movie all of these misconceptions that we have about, you know, what a disabled person should be like or what kind of roles we've seen them in.

I mean, Adam in this film is such a different character than we have ever seen him play, period, but even than we would have imagined him.

So he's really found a way to kind of, A, get the movie made and also find a way way to bring people to kind of talk about it and offer like a further perspective on it.

Incredible.

We're going to get into your dream menu in a minute.

It's such an interesting discussion about films, but now we do have to be really stupid for a bit.

Yes.

That's fine.

From a different man to a different menu, Sebastian?

Oh, lovely.

The perfect link, would you say?

Well, you are what you eat.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you were in one film.

In Fresh, you were what you were.

You were eating humans.

That's right.

Yeah.

Remember remember that?

Yes.

That was wild.

I do, yeah.

A lot of James's questions to actors are to say a film and then go, do you remember that?

Which we're assuming you do actually remember.

Not all actors we've had on do remember that.

That's true.

Yeah, I do.

I mean,

that was a lot of fun.

Well, the scene when you're preparing it all, it actually genuinely looks...

quite delicious for a second there, which is worrying.

Well, there was a chef on set who was preparing things right on the dock, but it's interesting when something gets passed and you label it a certain way because then you're looking at it differently and kind of looking for things in the in the meatballs you know uh

but uh that movie it's funny i i hear a lot about that movie people still kind of come up and ask me about it and i never i never i never knew how it was going to it was going to do i think i think because it messes with your head a bit that film because it does make you You're a very charismatic cannibal killer.

And you do make the food look pretty delicious it does get in the audience's heads more than if you were just like some crazed monster who we were terrified of it you kind of go oh maybe I want to be a cannibal

I think that that's what was interesting about that movie because the way that the writer had written it you know she made it so uh normal in a way it was she was you know everybody we were all like let's just try and play this as real as possible we're not going for shock or laughs or whatever.

It was just, and then maybe the audience will get behind it.

But yeah, I mean, I mean, I think the music alone in that movie made me want to be a part of it.

Maybe even more than the subject matter.

We always start with still our sparkling water.

Sparkling.

It's sparkling all the way.

To the point where sometimes I worry that I'm...

Is sparkling even real water?

Well, this is the thing.

It's the ongoing debate.

I think there was actually, there was some science came out recently.

I'm across the science.

Yeah, I'm across the science, man.

I get all the papers.

And apparently, sparkling water has been proven to be as hydrating as still water because that was always the thing, right?

People were like, it's not hydrating you because you're just drinking all the fizz and the bubbles.

But I think, yeah, you'll be fine.

You can just drink it all day long.

What do you love about it?

It's refreshing.

I feel like I don't, you know, for still water, I have to drink like room temperature.

I can't drink it cold.

But then sparkling water has to be out of a fridge yeah i feel like it can be it can give you that satisfaction yeah if you were to in a scene have to down a bottle of still water and act like it was refreshing would that be the biggest acting challenge

yeah sure yeah yeah pretty huge i recently had to down water as vodka right like oh yeah in the thing and that was like a very funny situation to kind of try and do.

See, Hugh Jackman, punk Taron Edgerton, in an interview they did.

He pretended to down a miniature of vodka at the start of their interview and completely tormented and was like you you are crazy

but it was water it was water but he did

absolutely nailed it yeah he made him look like a dick in front of everyone in front of the press there's a junk kick going on

there like absolutely fuming for the rest of the day i imagine he's very funny hugh jackman yeah like he really i mean i got i've only met him a couple of times but i i get a sense that he'd be a lot of fun to work with yeah he's bringing the fart machine he probably would.

Yeah.

He's the fart machine guy.

You know,

then break into Lame Is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So does it happen?

You usually get put with Anthony Mackey and Junkets when it's like Marvel stuff.

So you two have to sit and do the interviews together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm pretty sure that happened because

about six or seven years ago, because I was so bad at Junketts, I was always so quiet that they're like, we need to give him the loudest man on the planet to revive him and he and he does i mean anthony is just so you guys would have such a blast with him on it on the show like he he's he's big time did i say him in an interview has he got a boat or something or is that just in the the show that you guys did no no no just did

he has a boat i think he has a boat he also goes fishing he goes hunting yeah he's been trying to get me down there to go hunting with him for a long time i'm like anthony i don't can you imagine me with a rifle down there in the backwoods of New Orleans?

I mean, but it would be fun.

I think we should, I would do that with him in filming because it just would be ridiculous, you know, in a good way.

Oh, people would watch a whole series of you two going hunting together.

Yeah, into the wild.

But he loves that thing.

Like, you know, he'd be the one to on that.

There's those shows, you know, that take actors and put them on a mountain and then they have to kind of like survive.

Yeah, that wouldn't be me.

That wouldn't be you?

No.

How long do you think you could survive on a mountain?

What's he got with him?

What are they giving him?

Good question.

I don't think it's...

I'm not thinking of that show, Naked and Afraid.

You know that show?

Yeah, that's when they're naked.

Yeah, yeah.

You've got more than that, I'm imagining.

You've got some more to...

Yeah, I mean, it's not the

sign up to Naked and Afraid, is he?

Sebastian Stan.

Naked and Afraid.

Just the one way to go out.

Yeah,

it'd be the last hurrah.

Return to innocence.

Yeah.

That'd be quite a good end to the career.

I don't know who why anyone agrees to that show, to be fair.

No.

It's fascinating, isn't it?

Like, I don't know either, but

there are people that do really well on it.

Yeah.

I mean, somebody's cut out for it.

But I just think no matter how well you do on it, you're still butt naked on TV the whole time, and you've got to carry around the mic in a little bag, and it looks really undignified.

There's no winners.

Have you seen Naked Attraction?

Have you seen that?

Yeah, I have seen it.

We were just talking about it.

Were you?

Just talking about it.

Yeah, we were.

Yes.

Because we're talking about wild shows here.

And that one,

that's hilarious, isn't it?

it's like it's it's really like a car accident you're just constantly enamored yeah just the way that the way the thing slides up and then from the feet to the middle is the some of the worst moments on tv i've ever seen i think imagine being behind that screen like i wonder what it's got above your dick yeah

i'm just thinking i actually hope that i get eliminated now because i'd like them not to see my face and for this to go on tv yeah you know what i mean that's right at that point i'll be like actually i'm i'm happy going home at this yeah but they've got to be

I mean, I wonder what the submission process for that is.

What are the questions that they ask?

I think they just send through a photo, a full-length naked photo, but this producer looks at it on really slow internet, so it loads up from the bottom.

So

they can imagine the reveal of it.

Imagine what it would be like.

Sometimes I pretend to be on naked attraction.

I've got electronic blinds.

That's amazing.

Flat the goat into a corner.

At a certain place.

Yeah, yeah.

So

who's judging you on the postie?

The postman and

various people.

Well, one of the most common problems is the blokes who go on it very afraid of looking small on TV, trying to make it look as impressive as possible before going on.

But then there's a very fine line

where

if they just get all the way boner, they've got to go home.

It's like we can't put that on TV.

Right, right, right.

So they're like, I've got to make it as impressive as possible without getting too impressive.

Yeah.

But that would be even so.

Sorry about this.

It'd be so psychotic, wouldn't it?

Like you're like, your brain's just trying to figure out how

where to send blood to begin with.

And it's like, you're just like, there, now.

And like, there's a million people that are on the other side just waiting.

And it's

apparently the studio is freezing cold as well.

Yeah.

So they're battling against the elements.

That's not helping.

Yeah.

That's not helping anybody.

Poplums or bread.

Poplums or bread, Sebastian Stan.

Poplums or bread.

None.

Ah, none.

Great.

That would be the bread.

Yeah.

That would be the bread.

I'm glad you said none.

For a minute, I thought you said none.

And I thought, oh, no, this is going to be a shit.

No, no, no.

I love.

Bread and butter is the greatest food you can ever have.

Yeah, it is delicious.

Naan as well.

We don't get naan.

We've had naan a bit in the past, but not that often.

It's great to have a shout out.

Really?

Yeah.

No, I mean, especially here in England.

Yeah.

Like, it would be really good.

Is that is that something that you do when whenever you come over to England?

Is uh go for a curry?

Um

No.

That's not where my mind goes.

No,

but I do love, I have had Indian food here.

It's great.

But naan is like one of those breads that I could eat all the time.

Are there dips with naan breads?

Not naan bread.

I've called it naan bread.

That's the ultimate white thing to do.

Yeah.

I'm going to call myself out on that.

Yeah.

I just said bread bread.

Yeah, bro.

I'm an idiot.

Keep that in the edit, Benito.

I need to be on my toes.

I don't want this sugar coated and put out so that i'll make out like i'm better than i am the world needs to hear that i just said bread bread

just the uh reactions alone yeah ben's used to this he just sits there and takes it all oh yeah he's just sitting there he doesn't care he ain't listening to us what do you make of him so far

he uh

he seems like a a thinker yeah um but because he has to i think yeah like he doesn't have much choice

um I wonder if he, like, hears you guys in his sleep.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good point, actually.

I would worry about that for him because he is, obviously,

he's in the room for this.

He's then editing it.

He does a very good job of the edits as well, to be fair to him.

So he must listen to it more than he needs to to make it good.

Yeah.

And then he's got to put it out.

And then he's on a WhatsApp group with us to sort out when we're coming in for it.

And we consistently.

get the dates wrong and yeah mess up.

So oh when you're coming in.

Yeah, yeah, we're not good people to work with.

You turn up here on a Sunday and go, oh, this is the wrong day.

We'll just pop in at 4 a.m.

and we'll be ready to go.

That might be a very interesting show.

Yeah, yeah.

The 4 a.m.

Talking about food at 4 a.m.

Yeah, and obviously it's, you know, booking guests is difficult because you've got to balance people's schedules and all of this sort of stuff.

And then also, he's got to deal with our schedules as well.

So the guy, the guests.

Which are busier than you might imagine.

I'm sure.

Given the conversation so far, you probably think this is all we do.

Yeah.

But we've got other stuff.

Well, that's the most insecure thing we've ever said to a guest.

No,

that's no, it's the most important thing.

I thought I saw a ring on that

ring finger.

So, yeah, yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

So that's what you've got on.

Yeah, I'm married.

You're married.

There's life in that.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's get into your dream menu proper, your dream starter.

I like yellowtail sashimi.

I also really like a good, strong butter lettuce salad.

you really put some put some sauce behind saying that there yeah butter lettuce well it's funny the butter lettuce because like it's like a very simple one but i still i think it's effective you know like some olive oil i think and salt yeah i'm actually not familiar with butter lettuce i think you are i don't think i am will have had butter lettuce but you might not be familiar with it no i'm not

familiar with the term there's this italian restaurant in um new york called via carota and they do these little toasted bread like with butter and like anchovies and salt on it as a starter.

And that is like

the best.

You do.

I can see the dreaminess in your eyes.

You're going off somewhere else in your eyes there and in your mind.

Yeah, yeah.

You clearly love that.

I felt it when I said that.

I felt right.

I felt the butter melting.

Do you take other people to that restaurant, introduce them to that starter?

Many people.

What's it like when they're about to take a bite?

Are you watching them and being like, I hope they like that?

Not everybody has the same reactions

as I do.

but I mean that one's pretty well known in New York.

Like I feel like via Corota, people know it.

It's definitely a good splurge, if you like, food-wise.

It's always so intense, isn't it, when you take people to a restaurant that you really like and make them get the thing that you really like.

And then it's just so nerve-wracking watching them eat it, waiting for the reaction.

Well, is that something you guys do all the time?

All the time.

Yeah.

Every day of my life.

Because of this podcast, we get asked a lot for our food recommendations or restaurant recommendations.

That's incredible, though.

That's great, isn't it?

Because then you go, like I was just telling Adam Pearson, who's in the movie, I was like, we need to do the trip, basically.

You and I.

Those movies, I mean, it seemed like a dream come true.

Those guys have both been on this podcast.

And obviously, we asked them about that.

Really?

It does sound great.

They're incredible.

And they clearly were eating in that movie for real.

Like, these were really good restaurants.

Yeah.

They were having wine.

And, I mean, it just seems like a dream.

You and Adam should do it.

It would be great.

Dean Street Townhouse, by the way.

Yeah.

Here has that that loaf of bread that's pretty great as a starter.

Oh, I mean, you can make your whole menu bread.

So far.

The things that are mainly bread-based.

What's this loaf of bread that Dean Street Townhouse do?

I don't know what it is, but they, again, they just the way that it comes out, it's like warm and steamy and stuff.

It's it's great.

I hate to come back to a film we've already mentioned, but you were saying about when you really like a dish and then you're watching someone eat it and you're invested in it.

How do you think that fresh guy, that cannibal, he makes someone a special dish and he thinks this this is his favorite food.

He loves it.

It's made out of a person, obviously, because he's a cannibal and loves eating people.

Right.

And he's serving it to a friend and they're about to eat it.

How do you think he feels?

Watching them?

Yeah, he's got that thing of like, I hope they like it, but also, surely in his head somewhere he's got to be like, I mean, to be fair, though, it is a person.

It's an acquired taste.

Yeah, and it's an acquired taste as a human being.

Well, that particular character, at least in the movie that I, you know, that I played, for him, it's like

he's just found out the greatest secret in the world that no one knows and he's just told it to you you know so he so he's like right

I mean the expectation is yeah that big you know so

he wouldn't even be thinking yeah no no there would be no concern about it

so we're going for the anchovies on the toast for your starter yeah delicious great absolutely love anchovies I'm in a big anchovy phase at the moment anywhere anywhere it's available I get anchovies I always think of the teenage meat and ninja turtles that's what I think of anchovies that was the first time I ever heard of anchovies.

On the pizza.

Yeah, I was a little kid, and they would hate anchovies on the pizza.

Michelangelo, especially, was just like, I can't have it on the pizza.

He doesn't want it on the pizza.

Like pineapple, no way.

You don't like pineapple on the pizza?

No, I can't do.

I can't make sweet and salt like I can't really do.

I have to really space it out.

It's bizarre.

I've just come back from a holiday.

I went to Japan for a holiday.

And

we went up into the mountains to see flying squirrels.

Very exciting day.

And an Australian man came out to be our tour guide But he'd lived in Japan for quite a while and he was telling everyone This is what we're gonna do We go up there and behave like this and don't do this and da da da but he wanted to put a bit of fun into it and not just all rules So he went I've actually got a flying squirrel with me in this in this bag here and obviously all the adults were like yeah bullshit just get get on with it but all the little kids were like excited about it and then he got this bag backpack put it on the front and he was talking to this flying squirrel that was in the bag.

It's clearly a cuzy toy, but it was a bit that he does as part of it.

And he was like, oh, the the squirrel would like to know what kind of toppings I like on my pizza.

And then he told the squirrel in Japanese that he liked pineapple.

And all the kids lost their minds and were like, what?

Like, properly, we're not going into the mountains with this guy if he likes pineapple on his pizza.

And he got really shy about it, the tour guide.

After that, he felt a bit shy that he had told us all that he likes pineapple on his pizza.

But I was unclear as to why that was in the storyline.

It's a specific thing.

I'm just realizing when you were telling that story, I'm listening to you and the whole time I'm trying to guess the next time you're going to scream.

I'm trying to catch it before it happens.

There's no more screaming.

There's not often screaming after this, but I might still do it at some point before you, Sebastian, just before you an extra one.

I know.

It would be funny if you just walked down the street at one point and just randomly do that.

Well, this is the irony of it all is that because I shout out of nowhere on this podcast, I walk down the street and then people who have seen the podcast and now they're doing it to millimeters from my face.

And I do,

I pop a get scared.

It's funny, isn't it?

Because it's the same with like acting sometimes.

Like people just, they'll see something and they'll latch on to it and then they want desperately to share it with you.

And you're like, thank you.

But, you know, I'm just trying to get on with this day.

This has been shared with me multiple times this morning.

People shout that at me, Poppa Dumsel Bread, and it's when I'm on stage doing stand-up.

It's not even my catchphrase.

So they're shouting his catchphrase at me.

Pretty cool, not for me, not for Ed.

Also, Mark and Nightmare's in tatters.

You got to have your own, you gotta, you gotta get your own.

I gotta get my own catchphrase rather than welcome to the dream restaurant.

Yeah, and I have a wife, yeah.

That is my catchphrase.

I do have to say that a lot.

It would be hilarious if you said that just randomly.

I'm just gonna have a tea.

I have a wife.

And we're back live during a flex alert.

Oh, we're pre-cooling before 4 p.m., folks.

And that's the end of the third.

Time to set it back to 78 from 4 to 9 p.m.

What a performance by Team California.

The power is ours.

Yodre Meinkos.

I mean, is there anything better than like spaghetti and meatballs?

I don't know.

Like that one, it's easy any day of the week but then a good uh skirt steak or a good burger well we could do spaghetti and meatballs and it inside the pile is like a burger right in the middle like a little surprise because when you finish all the spaghetti meatballs there's a there's a perfect burger in there just just for the road if you wanted no i think i i think the spaghetti meatballs really how much can you eat in a sitting are you like can you go for it do you have to stop yourself eating too much no but you know how it is like it's like i i think with uh especially like you know exercise and like diet, trying to kind of keep in shape and stuff, like I usually find that I have to have these cheat days, you know, and then the cheat days become these crazy days where

you could.

But then, for instance, I, you know, maybe I won't have breakfast that day because I know that the lunch is going to be this glorious thing and you can properly enjoy it.

You like the rock with his cheat days?

Intense.

What does he have?

Like four like baked brownies or something or cookie, like a whole battery of sweetness.

Well, like trays of sushi as well.

Which to me, sushi is not a cheap food.

Like a tray of sushi to me is like, I'm being healthy today.

I'm having a tray of sushi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the rock is having a tray of sushi being like, oh,

I'm so naughty.

I'm the rock.

Naughty boy.

Raw fish.

I'm going to drink a bottle of this tequila that I own.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know how he does it.

I mean,

he's pretty wild.

But he's also so disciplined.

Yeah.

It's really crazy, you know?

But it works for some people.

Do you want to know what this mammy guy does on a cheap day?

He's very married.

I'd love to.

I'm married.

I have a wife.

He loses the ring

of your whole day.

Yeah.

And you post it on Instagram.

You go, it's a cheat day, everyone.

The ring's coming off.

And then there's various selfies of you and people that you're cheating with.

It's awful.

My wife's fine with it because, you know, I put it in the calendar.

Yeah, she accepts it's a cheat day.

And it goes both ways.

She'll hate this, bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no.

It's all right.

She doesn't listen to anything I do.

No, no, no, no, that's just true.

Spaghetti in meatballs, for me, it's like a cartoon food.

Yes.

Like, I saw it in cartoons before I had it.

Yeah, like the dog's one, where they pick on the same one and then they.

Yeah.

Lady in the trap?

Lady in the trap.

Yeah, yeah.

The dogs one.

The dog's one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, stuff like that, where I was like, I want to eat that because it looks so delicious in the cartoons.

Forget your meatballs.

Maybe that's why as kids, because like...

Don't you remember like having to eat your vegetables and never wanting to and everyone's just trying?

Because we don't see them in cartoons.

Maybe that's maybe that's the deal yeah there's no like like a cartoon dog eating a big plate of vegetables being like oh that's delicious

that might have changed things if lady and the tramp were having a go at a big plate of broccoli yeah it's just because broccoli is not a great tasting situation although you know did you are you familiar with wesley two scoops berry no so when i was a kid and me and i was a kid too uh gladiators you must have been familiar with the show gladiators the tv show gladiators fantastic show.

Fantastic show.

And we had it over here as well.

And there was a series where it was like the American Gladiators and the UK Gladiators meet in.

And it was like this hype at this big, like, we're going to find who the ultimate champion is.

And the American contestant was called Wesley Two Scoops Berry.

And he was called Two Scoops because his mother would try and get him to eat his broccoli when he was a kid.

And she'd say, just two more scoops.

Yeah.

Which for me was always confusing because I was like, you don't scoop broccoli.

But I still like, I really liked Wesley Two Scoops Berry.

You could jump over a car.

Two cars.

Huh?

Two cars.

Two cars.

End-to-end.

Yeah,

he had like a home VHS of him jumping over two cars and his mother always gave him two scoops of vegetables.

Yeah.

And that made me want to eat vegetables.

That's the first thing as a kid that made me want to eat vegetables was Wesley Two Scoops Berry because he was so great.

That's why.

We need superheroes because it's it's especially when you're a kid It's it's all you look at Yeah, you know like the comic books and and all that I remember gladiators when I was growing up.

That's why also wrestling.

I i was a big yeah big wrestling fan for the same reason you know i just loved i kept thinking that it would be so cool to walk into an arena with a song oh yeah yeah you know yeah i i that was one of my favorite parts of like i didn't really watch wrestling because i didn't have the tv channels it was on but i knew what songs they walked on to because my friends had the music that they bought on cd so i was listening to those all the time and playing them

imagining walking in yeah i mean i still i i still watch wrestling because i'm essentially a 14 year old boy and i still think about wouldn't it be great to walk into a stadium to my own music?

Even though he's a comedian and he can walk on stadium.

Even though I do a song if you want to do that.

But then I just do comedy.

I don't get to body slam anyone or anything.

But you are a superhero as well.

So you get to experience that.

You've experienced a taste of that.

Oh, yeah,

for sure.

I mean, it's the most gratifying thing in the world.

Like when you, you know, when you have like a kid that comes up to you and just like, is that arm metal?

You know, and you're like, yes,

of course.

but you know it's just uh camouflage now that's good um and they're like oh interesting that's good because like recently uh as of i don't know when this podcast actually gonna go out but we lost maggie smith and someone told me a story about her when uh yeah a kid who was a fan of harry potter went up to her and said is it true that you can turn into a cat and she told the kid to pull himself together

i've got more respect for that to be because then pull yourself together that's so funny i would have i would have i still think of her as Wendy.

Oh, yeah.

Remember that movie?

Yeah, Hook.

Yeah, that movie I was obsessed with when I was a kid.

Hook's crazy.

Because I really, I couldn't, you know, I'm like, the whole concept of Peter Pan and this guy going back, it was just so great.

Well, that's come up on this podcast a few times because of bangerang.

Yeah.

That scene.

When they're eating, especially when there's nothing, it looks delicious.

No, no, no.

For sure.

As a kid, all the colors and everything in there, you're like, what is that made of?

Yeah.

It's real.

Did you ever want to eat play-doh when you were a kid?

Yeah, big time.

Me too.

Yeah.

why?

I would have loved to have eaten it.

It looked delicious.

Yeah, when I still see it, I'm like, oh, you could squeeze it.

Because it smells, it smells kind of nice as well, right?

It smells like sort of clean.

And you do want to see what it tastes like.

We would.

We did a live tour of this podcast around the UK and we would ask the audiences their menus and read them out.

They'd write them before we went on stage.

We'd pick them out and read out the best ones.

And one person for their dream drink said they would like the fruit shampoo they use, but it has to taste as good as it smells.

And that got an applause from the entire room yeah yeah the entire room was like yeah i'm gonna drink my shampoo if it didn't that might say more about our listeners than than the sort of uk populace as a whole but yeah we a lot of shampoo drinkers listen i think it would pair nicely with some play-doh

the only thing i can think about with shampoo is that prank i've seen on a lot on youtube at one point where there's where they go around there's a guy kind of washing his hair he doesn't know that there's someone above him that keeps squeezing shampoo

keeps trying to get the shampoo out it's like a nightmare.

You can't get it out.

You know what I mean?

It just keeps going.

Not saying that.

I'm going to watch it as soon as this is finished.

You have to.

Shampoo prank.

I mean, it's just so.

I feel like you guys would be great at pranks.

Would we be good at pranks?

We love Jackass.

We love Jackass.

Steve-O was sitting in that seat.

We've watched it since.

Steve-O, we like Steve-O in it.

What a voice, right?

Such a specific

character.

Yeah, yeah.

Every time I'm watching anything with a men or whatever,

my uh fucking hell what a freudian slip i was gonna say my girlfriend and i went to say my sister

what do you think about that don't ask james about his cheat days

yeah

anyway my girlfriend always if i'm watching the steve-o thing says for the other room is that whoopy goldberg

when steve-o was on the podcast we had loads of people saying he sounds exactly like whoopi goldberg i never ever thought i never made that connection in in my head until now but maybe that's what i'll be doing after this going to see how that works.

Get someone to send you and not label them properly clips of Whoopi and clips of Steva and you can see if you can work out the difference.

Yeah, I mean probably from what they're saying, you're better working out.

Your dream side dish, Sebastian.

Fries, definitely.

Always wins.

Like really crispy fries, mashed potatoes.

Oh, you could go for all the potatoes.

We could get you a potato platter with all the different potatoes.

I know are people like really, really specific, intricate with these?

Because

I still feel like there's a few that you don't

that question, right, that everyone's like, if you if you had your last meal, what would it be?

Like it's always just the most generic of stuff.

I mean, at least for me, but well, yeah, sometimes, yeah, it depends.

We've had guests on you like, I want this thing from this restaurant in this year.

And all, yeah, like people who have really liked it, it's just the one specific thing they want.

And then obviously, I think the the answer is fries a lot of the time because they're just everyone's favorite.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's not about, yeah, it's got to be what you genuinely want to eat as well.

Anyone who comes on here and tries just to say stuff to be smart and try and go, I'm going to say what other people haven't said.

We can see through that.

Exactly.

I mean, like, you know, I'm going to be honest, like, that guy wasn't at that just

simply going, pumpkin seeds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What?

They are nice, though, if you toast them up.

They are, actually.

Do Your pumpkin seeds now.

I do like pumpkin seeds.

I never thought I would.

But also, if you put them in a butter lettuce salad

with avocado.

Well, you could have the butter lettuce salad also as your side dish.

You could have some fries and some salad.

I think we'd allow that.

I think it's more than one thing, you know.

With pumpkin seeds.

So you brought up the pumpkin seeds as a joke, but now you're having pumpkin seeds.

You know what else is really good?

Yeah.

Toasted pecans.

I'd say they're my favorite nut when they're

toasted or roasted and salted.

They turn into almost like a sweet.

They're like, they're so delicious.

They're like almost dairy-like.

I agree, actually.

They are the sweetest of the nuts.

Raw pecans, I'm not interested.

Shout out to the macadamia as well, if we're talking about the most delicious nuts.

Roasted, salted macadamias just cover me in them.

Every time people say macadamia nut, I just think of that film Best in Show.

You've seen that.

Great movie.

I haven't seen it in a while.

Christopher Guest is talking about his dog.

He's called Harlan Pepper, the character.

He says he used to be able to name every single type of nut that there was

and he he's just going like cashew nut and then he goes macadamia nut

he says that's the one that would send my mother through the roof i'm like i always think if someone says macadamia nut i just think about christopher guest doing that character he was so funny he was so good and also the one waiting for goffman yeah yeah they're making the spinal tap too you interest you excited about that i am here's a very embarrassing thing I actually have never seen the first one.

Wow.

That's the one I have not seen that they're in.

That's the one that everyone's seen who hasn't seen any of the others.

Yeah, you've seen Waiting for Government and not Spinal Tap.

You might be the only person who's done that.

And it's Rob Reiner, right, who did that, I think, which is also crazy because he's done such eclectic different movies.

Yeah.

Well, that was during, I mean, that route of films that he did around then is bananas.

Yeah.

Spinal tap.

I don't know if it's in this order.

When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men.

And then Misery.

Misery.

And Princess Bride, I think, is like five films in a row.

All different, all completely different genres.

Is there a director you'd really love to work with who's like done a bunch of stuff?

I mean, I mean, hmm.

That's really, it's kind of a harder question than I thought.

I would always have said, you know, like Martin Scorsese.

I mean, it just feels crazy to me of like a world without him.

I can't even picture it.

I feel the same way about Jack Nicholson.

Like, I'm like, I'm, because these guys are so much older now.

So it's really strange to watch them get older.

Cause then I feel like, do you feel that way now?

Like, people we grew up with, when you see them older, like, you feel your own age as well.

You know, it's like, yeah, I'm going through a phase of trying to watch all the Scorsese movies I've not seen.

King of Comedy.

That's one of my favorite films ever.

It's just incredible, that film.

It's so genuinely funny as well.

It's one of the few people talk about like, um, when someone's doing stand-up comedy in a film, it rarely works.

It's rarely like his end monologue at the end of that, that he does on late night is genuinely good and i think the whole movie would fall apart if it wasn't it's really hard to get that right in a film i think speaking of food and morris grasses movies i actually feel like if you watch mars gorsesi movies and anytime they have those big italian dinners yeah you're always somehow hungry like watching that you're like oh i want to have yeah what they're having you know i feel like any any sort of mafia film or tv show i'm re-watching the sopranos at the moment and i'm i'm putting on weight at the same time because i'm ordering cold cuts i'm ordering.

I'm ordering so much gabagal and you know I'm just eating it at the fridge like Tony.

I'm breathing heavily through my nose.

I'm constantly in my dressing gown.

But you've got it when you see it on the screen, you've got to have it.

I'm ordering big subs.

I'm just picturing one day like your wife waking up and you're just in the kitchen and like in like a tank top and like a kimono and shorts just like eating a sandwich and she's like, what are you doing?

Yeah.

She wouldn't be confused by that.

She knows I'm re-watching the Soprano.

She knows that's what's happening.

Yeah, it just looks the geese flew away

yeah you're having a midlife crisis yeah yeah yeah

walking down to collect the paper at the end of the path you know i mean i like

someone comes up to you and it's going excuse me sir do you know the time no

now

Your dream drink.

I think it's it's uh somewhere between a really chilled gin martini with a twist or a negroni.

Empress gin.

That's a really good empress gin.

And also Empress Gin with tonic

is really good.

I know that's like gin and tonic is whatever, right?

But that gin with the tonic is a really good drink.

Made well, it's a completely new drink, gin and tonic.

When someone makes you a proper good one,

you are like, oh, okay, this is totally different to what I've been drinking.

Yeah.

And it is just like spending a bit more.

time.

One gin having like the gin having a bit more flavor to it rather than just like fog standard gin.

Yeah, and this one sort of turns purple when you pour it in there.

It's it's very uh that also gives it a little effect, but for some reason it just complements it well.

That's crazy, it turns purple.

Yeah, how does that happen?

I don't know.

I'm across the science, so

someone did that, and you didn't know it was going to happen, and you saw it turn purple.

Did it remind you of Thanos and you got angry?

Oh, I thought you were going to say New Year's Eve.

No,

Thanos, motherfucker.

You got no signal.

No, I don't.

Yeah, I didn't, I don't think about it as much as you think.

I would if it happened to me.

I would, if it happened to me, I'd think about panics all the time.

You got snapped.

You were the ones.

You got dusted.

I had a fucking furious with that guy.

I know.

Well, it was amazing how well that villain was.

In a way, he actually was, you know, he was having kind of his own midlife crisis and turning on the world.

Yeah, there were levels.

There were levels to that.

What do you think that was like for your character?

Obviously, a lot of characters happened to, but you're there, you've been in Wakanda fighting, and then you feel a bit, oh, I feel a bit shitty, and then suddenly you're on this massive battle.

You're a completely different place.

Do you think at some point you had to like get yourself to Bucky had to get himself together and be like, okay, fuck it, it's a different battle now.

And a load of shit's happening.

I'll get caught up on it later.

Or was Bucky like, guys, please catch me up on what's been happening?

Because, like, I can't just go into this fight not knowing.

I've got to know what's going on.

I think the minute he's so used to fighting in enemies that the minute he sees it, it's like, yeah, right back in it.

Sure.

It's uh, but the version you described would have been, I think, more cinematic.

Wait, time out.

What the fuck is happening here

around here?

I just, I wanted to go to the bathroom and I came back and like everything is a different world.

Yeah, because

they even knew this was like a different Thanos from a different time and that Thor's already cut the other guy's head off.

Yeah.

But actually, this is someone else of a different time, but we still need to, we kind of messed up with the time travel thing.

And just, well, or whether they're just like, we'll catch you up later, but the baddies are the same ones as before.

I feel like you've thought about this more than anyone else on the planet.

No way, man.

It's interesting, though.

That movie does spiral down a rabbit hole.

You find yourself kind of going and asking different things.

Because once the time thing gets flipped, anything is possible.

You know, it's like we can all keep doing what we're doing, but then Doctor Strange can turn back time.

Like, I mean, what

you can't fuck with that.

I mean, that's.

That's why it's very important that he doesn't have that stone anymore.

If he did, every movie would just be like, yeah, there you go.

One

twist.

I would like to see like a caper film with him where he's just fucking around with time for a laugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He keeps going back in time to the same spot

over and over again.

We had a cartoon here when we were kids called Bernard's Watch.

Are you familiar with Bernard's Watch?

No.

It was good.

Bernard's Watch was good.

Bernard's Watch was good, but everyone had the kind of same problem with it.

But

it was a little kid and he had a watch that could stop time, but he could just walk around and do whatever so every everything would freeze the only british thing that i remember when i was very very little is a very controversial show called benny hill

yeah yeah well he should never be in possession of bernard's watch no because if it was benny's watch it would be a very different show he causes enough trouble when when time's moving normally right chasing those poor ladies around chases the poor ladies around the trees and stuff which is the music it does blow my mind that benny hill was such a big export across the atlantic that that was the thing it's weird yeah i remember just growing up and that seeing that show when I was little and then Beverly Hill is 90210.

Yeah.

Strangely.

And Baywatch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like they were massive in Europe.

Yeah, the two representations of different cultures, Benny Hill and Baywatch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I could have done a crossover episode where Benny's chasing the ladies, but it's all in slow motion.

Yeah.

Or the beginning of the Bay Watch, the Baywatch titles at the beginning, but with the Benny Hill music in the background and stuff.

Oh, yeah, that'd be good.

Yeah.

Cadbury chocolate.

chocolate.

Cadbury chocolate.

Yeah.

Oh yeah yeah.

It's such a thing, isn't it?

It's good stuff.

Well American chocolate is shit.

You know what the oil has come out of?

Maybe wrap up to that slowly before.

Okay, well her cheese is the worst thing I've ever tasted.

No, no, no.

You can't compare those, but Tony's chocolate.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Is this new, it's fairly new, right?

Yeah, from Holland, yeah.

Unbelievable.

Also, they, because all of the, they're not like solid standard chunks in the bar.

You end up breaking off a bit to be like, I'll just have a bit, but it comes off at a weird angle, angle.

And then you break off another bit.

And then you always

and there's half.

It's just gone.

You did it.

Do you remember Kinder Eggs?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Those are great.

I remember when you crack that thing open, the little astronaut would come out.

Yeah.

Or it'd be like a stupid one.

You'd be like, no, I got to get another one.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

There was a period of time where it was always a little like China terror pin.

Like playing the pan pipes or like with a surfboard.

There's those other different terror pins.

Yeah.

That was when I got into Kindereggs.

That was your favorite era of kindergarten i want to get all the terror pins that you got in the kinder eggs i got a few of them it was a great brilliant idea whoever invented the kinder eggs yeah yeah the toys came in phases like marvel didn't they yeah yeah yeah it was like i mean yeah now if they were still i mean i think they still do kinder surprises but yeah they're not as popular that marvel would consider doing a crossover with them right yeah that would be like the pinnacle of your career right if someone said we're gonna do you and a kinder egg from any film you've been in yeah that would be like i made it yeah

i guess it would depend it would probably be marvel I don't think it'd be the cannibal in the kindergarten.

Or you as Tommy Lee.

It just ends up being a mistake.

I mean, someone just does one randomly.

I'd buy the Tommy Lee Kinder egg.

Yeah.

100%.

Sebastian as Tommy Lee in the kindergarten.

Yeah.

I mean, what would that even look like?

It depends what

part of the story.

One drumstick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd recognize him on Naked Attraction straight away, Tommy Lee.

Yeah, yeah.

Tommy Lee on Naked Attraction, surely.

It would come up.

For everyone else, it's just the feet, but Tommy.

Yeah.

It'd be, be yeah right

your dream dessert sebastian we've just been talking a bit about chocolate and we've kind of like stumbled into the desserts already your eyes really lit up when you're talking about chocolate in the us there's something called jenny's ice cream i don't know why it's phenomenal it's the best ice cream i've had do you guys have good ice cream here yeah well yes not really we do but i i wouldn't say it's like uk brand so i mean if i go out i'm just going to get ben and jerry's so we got a lot of the same brands that you would have.

And then there's a lot of good ice cream places.

But when we go to the States, that's when we're excited to have ice cream.

Yeah.

Well, you'll text me pictures of ice cream from America.

Yeah, and especially like they've got, you know, you've got so many flavours of Ben and Jerry's that we don't have.

So that's my first port of call.

Once, when,

you know, before we started recording today, you were saying, like, come in and work in here.

And when you arrive, you're a bit jet lagged.

I arrived in Canada once.

I had a gig that night.

I was meant to do a show that night, but I missed the show show because I'd gone out, got a tub of Ben and Jerry's that you can't get here and halfway through just passed out on my bed.

Because of the sugar high.

I was just, I was jet lagged, but also I was just so into eating this Ben and Jerry's, it put me into this like hibernation state.

And I just, I just, that was it.

And I woke up.

The gig had already been and gone.

I had multiple texts on my phone for the promoters and everyone and just a Ben and Jerry's tub in my hand and a spoon in the other just on my bed.

That's one of the most terrifying things.

It's like when you wake up and like you see your phone's just been going or something and people have been trying to get, you know, reach you for whatever reason.

But I

speaking of pranks, it's so silly.

There's another one I saw recently

on YouTube.

And it's like, it's really bad.

Like these guys clearly have known each other for a long time.

I don't even know what it's called, but like they, they like got together and like they had like a celebration night, you know, taking shots and hanging out and all this stuff.

The next day,

the guy one of them wakes up and he's strapped to a hospital bed and he doesn't know where how he got there and they're like you've been in a coma for 10 years

and his friend comes in in prosthetics having gained weight and he's like you have a son and i've been taking care of him and he's just it's it's terrifying honestly but it's horrifically funny yeah and and he you know it's like he just doesn't know what to do with it like yeah

um

Yeah.

I didn't know you liked pranks so much.

They are.

I think, yeah, I mean, I mean, you have to, you know, you want to be safe.

I'm not like, but like, it is funny sometimes.

I mean, you got to keep surprising yourself and your friends.

You know,

it's fun to do that.

Have you ever played a prank on anyone that's like that you're particularly proud of?

It's so stupid.

But I have a friend who

like he always manages.

He can fall asleep anytime.

I saw him fall asleep in the middle of a nightclub.

Like he took a nap and like came back and was like right back as if he got reinvigorated.

And I would be so jealous of him because I'd be like, how do you do it?

How do you just fall asleep?

Falls asleep.

very easily all the time.

So one time he was staying over.

He lives in LA, came to New York and he was crashing over my house and he fell asleep and I took headphones and I put it over his head, over his ears and I plugged it into like the fucking speakers.

And I went and researched

T-Rex, like

you know, the dinosaur in Jurassic Park.

When like at the very end, when he's like,

he's like,

and the thing falls or whatever.

And I crank that up.

And I just...

press play, just trying to wake him up.

And all I got was just this one quick, like little kido.

I was like,

what's almost more satisfying than him completely

being terrified, just very lazily, just going, hey, man,

I'm like, wow, the team's going to see it.

There's not ever a fire or anything.

Yeah.

You're in the house.

We'll never make it.

That's what he'd be like after the blip, though.

If he got snapped by Thanos, he'd just be like, right back in, hey, okay, cool.

I'd be like, okay, okay, it was a different battlefield, but I've pretty much got my bearings.

Yeah, I've just been napping again.

Yeah.

I know.

He's like in a totally different city.

He doesn't recognize it.

So is Jenny's ice cream your dream dessert?

I'll put that one out there because maybe if someone does go to America, they'll remember that one and they'll try it.

What's the best?

What's worth it?

What's the best flavor of Jenny's?

Oh, man.

There's like a peanut butter chocolate one.

There is kind of like a chocolate chip Rocky Road situation.

There's like a one with like a brownie swirl.

Great.

I love all that.

Some people are like, oh, I only like, I want just like one flavor of ice cream, just like plain little vanilla.

I want, just throw everything in there.

I want chunks.

Yeah.

I don't know about the vanilla one time only.

These people are being contrary.

I don't get it.

Just for the sake of it.

Right.

Pretending they got sophisticated palates, but they're boring as hell.

Yeah, I try not to like, you know, rise to it.

But whenever someone is, it's like, I'm just going to get a scoop of vanilla.

I was like, are you?

You know what I'm going to do?

It seems like such a waste of, it's a waste of opportunity.

That's how it feels.

Yeah.

Because it's like, if you're going to do it, you might as well go for it.

You're not even getting your bang for your buck, right?

like it's um i wanted to make some analogy that i'm too tired

but yeah i think we know you know what we're saying i feel like we should like plan a prank to do on uh on one of your like maybe we could get anthony mackey and uh

we could assist you in pranking him no absolutely um what if we do have him on this podcast because you said he'd be really good if we do manage to book him for this podcast we're happy to prank him on your behalf um if you do yes i mean then maybe you need to email me and i'll i'll have to figure out how to how to do it But look you could just keep pouring shampoo on him

Does that work if it's not in the shell

and he can see us

We got to think we got to think somehow but but it's possible I mean, he would he will he'll get me back or he'll try to get me back.

If he gets angry at the prank, you have to admit that you were involved in it.

Because if we go, oh no, it was Sebastian and then you deny all knowledge of it.

It would be like

imagine to do this podcast, he has to drive like 45 minutes to a warehouse somewhere in like South London.

And it's just in the dark, and you guys are sitting there by candlelight.

But it should be, if it's in a warehouse, you should open the door and it should be full of people.

And then he realizes it's the rat battle from 8 Mile.

You've got to do it again.

And he's got to go up there.

He's going to go up there.

We could get Eminem.

Then you could join in as well.

Your surname's Stan.

You can get up.

You've written MM loads of letters.

Actually, that's when you and Mackie would join forces, surely.

Because you both hate Eminem.

You're Stan and the guy that he beat at the rat battle.

By the way, what a.

Do you remember that movie?

How good that was?

Yeah, it was incredible.

And also, I thank you for reminding me.

He is in that film.

He's great in it.

He's great in it.

He's in so many good movies, actually.

But like...

Well, that doesn't matter.

We're going to prank the fuck out of here.

Prank him so hard.

But that would be,

it would be funny.

Like, he's just, he thinks he's going to a podcast, but it's a rave yeah yeah yeah

waiting for him he's got i mean hopefully because like today and and uh you know this is a trick of the trade that i didn't know happened but like someone arrived before you who's called a go-ahead right who kind of turns up here first oh interesting which is this happens sometimes if people are like you know have busy schedules and they're going from one place to the other so with mackey i would worry that a go-ahead had arrive there and text him and go this is a fucking rave this is not a podcast they're setting you up for a prank i think sebastian stands behind it do not come here anthony it just goes to it's like i'm just recreating that movie the game on him oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's he's involved in high-speed chase all the way to mexico yeah it just goes on and off i always thought it'd be funny to do like a movie about actors that take their roles to like oh yeah the next level yeah you know but anyway you'd go really extreme i i still think there's like maybe you and him should join forces and prank eminem i think that is the you know as much as i'd like to prank why do i feel like that would fail?

Yeah, I don't think that would go well.

Get him.

You never know what mood Eminem's going to be in.

But you know, you can get him.

The two of you join forces.

I could also see him just unfazed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like the same stoic face, no, no emotion

and just walk out.

I've never seen him like giggling in an interview.

I don't feel like he would like chuckle at a prank.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me neither.

Yeah, to be fair.

Well,

I'm going to meet your menu back to you now, see how you feel about about it.

You would like sparkling water.

You would like naan for poppin's or bread.

You would like anchovies on toast from Via Carota in New York.

Main course, you want spaghetti and meatballs, a side dish of fries and butter lettuce salad.

Drink an Empress gym.

Some flower seeds and

pumpkin seeds.

Pumpkin seeds.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Drink Empress Gym martini with a twist.

And dessert, you would like...

Jenny's ice cream, a bunch of different scoops.

We kind of like we we shouted out a few, the brownie swirl, the peanut butter chocolate, them them all in a bowl together.

I mean, one doesn't or shouldn't survive that meal.

But sounds good, though, right?

Does it sound good hearing it back?

Yeah, I mean, honestly, if that was that was the way to, you know, the way to go, that would be, I think, okay for me.

Yeah, look, we're gonna go and plan this prank, but um, thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant.

You guys are amazing.

Thank you for

Sebastian for coming on the Off Off-Menu podcast.

He loves pranks.

He loves pranks.

That's the main thing I felt like, you know, no one else has found that out in an interview with Sebastian Stan so far.

I would start with

we should do another podcast about pranks.

Well, maybe a YouTube series where we prank people.

Because look, he enjoyed food and he enjoyed talking about food.

I really liked Sebastian.

I thought it was a fun interview.

But he really came alive when we started talking about pranks.

Yeah, he liked pranks a lot and remembering pranks he had seen.

And so like, I think that maybe that's one where we do like just people's favorite pranks.

Yeah.

So rather than pranking people, we talk about pranks that they love.

Or I'd go and watch a feature-length film where it's just Sebastian Stan dramatically describing pranks he'd seen.

Or recreating pranks that he's seen.

Yeah.

Remember there's that film?

Is it called

Act of Violence?

I think there's a film where they get these

warlords to recreate horrific things that they did.

Yeah.

And then by the end, they're actually, you know, confronted with the reality of what they've done for the first time.

That's not going to happen with Stan.

Maybe Sebastian Stan recreates pranks.

He's seen.

He's not going to be confronted by the horror of the pranks.

He's going to love the pranks even more.

I can't stress enough, because you're listening to this,

how excited he was to talk about the pranks.

Yeah.

It was beautiful.

We're going to get Mackie on this pod.

Going to get Mackey on the pod.

Whether we'll prank him or not remains to be seen.

Or the secret ingredient?

Mac and cheese.

Mackey D's.

Macie D's.

That's good.

Although, if he listens to this episode now, which he could because we just talked to his buddy,

he'll know the secret ingredient for when he's on.

He's not going to listen to this.

Anthony Mackey might listen to this.

You'd be surprised.

We should also say that Sebastian is playing Donald Trump in The Apprentice, which, you know, it's just been the US election, James.

So it's crazy that we didn't mention that to him.

But to be fair, we got waylaid with pranks.

Yeah, and it was not crazy because we actually did it ages ago.

And he was promoting a different film.

Yes.

And now because of the scheduling, it's coming out now and we look crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we're not the crazy one.

No, we're not the crazy.

Well, if anything, Donald Trump is the crazy one.

Yes.

And put that out, Benito.

Don't edit that out.

I know you're not.

Don't edit it out.

Don't edit it out, Benito.

Keep it in there.

Donald Trump, you're crazy.

We're recording this now before the U.S.

elections because I'm going away.

So we don't know who's won yet.

But you're listening to it the day after.

Yeah.

So you know who won.

And so help me God.

I better not be the crazy guy.

Benito, take off that MAGA hat.

Benito, take off that MAGA hat right this instant.

This is what you get when you make us record something about your beloved Trump.

The apprentices in cinemas now.

The monkeys are in charge of the bus.

The monkeys are in charge of the bus.

Hashtag.

Sebastian did not say winter peas either.

No, he did not say winter peas.

That's good.

We had some butter lettuce.

Some butter lettuce, which I was unfamiliar with.

Yeah.

That was exciting, but that's as close as we got to winter peas.

There weren't any winter peas there.

There was going to be some more butter lettuce chat, I think, but then Sebastian remembered a prank.

Yeah, yeah.

Then pranks come into things, and we've talked about pranks for a while.

I wish you guys could see Benito when we work with him.

Yeah, yeah.

He hates working with him.

He hates it.

Benito sits there behind his laptop, just staring ahead, looking like he's just praying for the sweet release of death.

You're a thinker.

He's a thinker.

It's the first time someone's labelled him as a thinker.

Yeah.

And that is a very nice way of saying this guy is zoned out.

This guy looks sad.

This guy looks sad and like he's not listening to what's going on in the room and he wants to be at home with his partner and his dog.

Yeah.

Look, go and see a different man.

It's in cinemas now.

Get yourself along to watch it.

Thank you so much, Sebastian, for coming to the dream restaurant.

He'll be listening to this.

Yeah.

Also, he was jet lagged.

And I feel like, you know, when you do something when you're jet lagged and it doesn't feel quite real, it's almost like a dream-like thing.

Yeah.

That chat would surely be something in a few days.

He's going to be like, did I do that?

Yeah, did that.

Did one of them at one point go off on a story that went nowhere about an Australian man in Japan talking to a fake flying scribble in a backpack about what toppings he likes on his pizza I love that story I don't think that's the last time we're gonna hear that story no I think about it a lot me and my girlfriend talked about it afterwards how when we're on those kind of things guided tours or whatever we both do this where instead of getting invested in the information we're being told and all the new things we're learning we get invested in the tour guide and who they are as a person and we start thinking about like

what their life is like how they got into all this yeah if they're enjoying this what they think of the group yeah all that sort of stuff so when that guy did the the little skit with the yeah flying squirreled in the backpack and was talking to it and saying he wants to know what toppings i have on my pizza and told it i like pineapple oh he doesn't like he won't come out the bag because i have pineapple on my pizza i was like this is an interesting fella yeah i want to know more about this guy i had a uber driver yesterday who um put on Waze, you know, that app that tells you where to go.

But he had one of the novelty voices on it.

It was playing really loudly.

I don't know what it was.

Yeah.

But the voice is a lady's voice that started by saying, hello, Scorpio.

We are about to undertake a long and arduous journey.

We will be changed by the end of this.

And it'd be like, left, take the next left.

Riches lie down that path.

Oh, wow.

But he's not reacting to it.

He's just following the directions.

And me and Charlie are sat sat in the back, just fucking killing ourselves laughing, texting each other, going, hello, Scorpio.

He's used to it.

Yeah, yeah.

But it was like a sexy voice as well.

It was like, this has been very intimate.

It's kept saying that.

That's great.

What did it say at the end?

We've reached his destination.

Oh, I don't know.

I think we got out by then, but

he's getting off with it by the end of it.

He's also, he was a great guy as well, because we went under a tunnel and the bike went past, the delivery bike went past, and he lost it laughing.

Really?

He was going, oh,

the person is waiting for their food, and they're under the water.

He's calling them up, going, do you want some fish?

We've got to get this guy on the podcast.

We've got to get him on.

Do you want any fish?

He kept saying.

Talk to him about deliveroo.

I know you ordered a burger, but I got you some fish because I went under the water to get it.

He was laughing so much.

I like it.

That is funny to imagine that that's what happens.

I'm still on tour doing hot niggity dog.

Come along and see it.

Got a fair few dates left.

Edgamble.co.uk for tickets.

If you're London-based or London-bound on November 23rd, come and see me at the London Palladium.

Absolutely.

My name is James Acast.

See you next week.

See you next week.

Hello, I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah.

And we are the Weirdos Book Club Podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September.

The time is 7pm.

And our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true, Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.