Ep 266: Ella Purnell

James, huge news from the world of off-menu and indeed the world of the world.

Yes.

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The show will be on Monday, the 16th of March.

It's going to be a tasting menu, a returning guest coming back, receiving the menu of another previous guest.

Those shows have been a lot of fun.

We cannot wait to do them live.

Who will we pull out of our little magic bag?

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The day in between is for reflecting.

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welcome to the off-menu podcast taking the mars ice cream of conversation and eating that oh i love one of them and then having another one of humor Because I can only have, I can't have one in a row, James.

I need two in a row.

That's a gamble.

You must like a Mars ice cream.

Yeah.

It's just, you know, I think everyone always, it's always a bit disappointed when you just choose something that's just one thing and you eat it.

Yeah.

For the beginning, you know, I mean, good that you added another Mars ice cream, I guess.

Yeah.

But, you know.

I thought you were going to say it's disappointing when you want a Mars ice cream and all they have in the shop is a Snickers ice cream, which is still nice, but it's not as good as a Mars ice cream.

The nuts get in the way of the caramel.

And I like nuts.

Of humor.

That's it, Gamble.

My name is James A.

Casser.

Together, we own a dream restaurant.

Every single week, we're inviting a guest and asking their favourite ever started makeles, dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order.

And this week, our guest is

Ella Purnell.

Ella Purnell is a wonderful actor, James.

She's in Fallout, which is one of my favorite TV shows of the last year, I'd say.

It's absolutely incredible.

She's in yellow jackets, which I also love.

And she's in a brand new show called Sweet Pea.

Yes, it's out tomorrow, as of when this is coming out.

Yeah, it's out on October 10th.

Yes.

So it will be out probably.

If you're listening to this on the day that it comes out, it's out tomorrow.

But most of you will probably hear this after.

So it is out now.

It is out now.

On Sky and now.

Ella plays a serial killer.

So exciting.

Yes, it looks really cool.

I'm very excited to see Sweet Pea.

We'll have a little chat about that.

And look.

you know here's the crazy thing yellow jackets

i thought ella was american yeah this this always blows your mind doesn't it acting it's amazing the accent she does in that mm-hmm probably just thought that's an American person could you not ask her about doing accents because I feel like you ask every actor who does accents about accents and then what they do is they say can you do accents and then you go no and you get really shy and then I have to say yes you can do Shrek and then you have to do Shrek Okay, well, I won't ask about accents because I don't want to do Shrek.

Will you do Shrek quickly now?

Don't care.

I will never do Shrek for you.

Good, that's out the way.

But if Ella says a secret ingredient on which we have pre-agreed, she will be kicked out of the dream restaurant.

And the secret ingredient this week is

Nuca-Cola.

Nuca-Cola.

That's from Fallout.

That's from Fallout.

Ed loves it.

Yeah.

You would drink Nuca-Cola, wouldn't you?

I drink Nuca-Cola in a heartbeat.

What do you think it tastes like?

Like cola, just normal cola.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it's got some spicy

radiation in it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't think they'd want the spicy radiation, though, because they all live in underground communities to keep away from the radiation.

Yeah, but then you want a little bit of it just to keep life exciting.

Yeah.

You have it in your cola.

Yeah, drinking my cola, wearing my pip boy.

So yeah, we will kick Ella out.

No?

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you.

Well, the listener can't see, but Ed's just

got the dopiest smile on his face ever.

He's really smiling.

Eyes half open, just looking around.

Oh, I'm sleepy as well.

It's really early in the morning.

the morning.

But yes, if Ella says nuka cola, we'll have to kick up at the dream restaurant.

Hopefully she won't.

And we'll get to hear a full menu.

Yes.

This is the off-menu menu of Ella Pannell.

Welcome, Ella, to the Dream Restaurant.

Welcome, Ella Pannell, to the Dream Restaurant.

It's been to you for some time.

I'm so excited to be here.

Surprised?

Do you feel surprised?

I feel surprised.

Thank you so much.

For the listener, Ella said that she'd not heard the podcast before because you wanted to be surprised.

I wanted to be surprised.

I want to be surprised.

And are you surprised right up top by that huge introduction?

Yeah, I'm shocked.

I'm appalled, actually.

I'm shocked.

I'm shocked.

There's a fine line between surprised and appalled, and I've crossed over this.

I've done it already.

80 seconds in?

I do that for everyone, just so you know.

It wasn't just because you said, I want to be surprised.

I'm like, I'll give you a surprise.

And then I did that stupid thing.

Why did you tell me that?

Now I don't feel special

anymore.

It was a bit later on.

It was louder than normal.

It was louder than normal.

Yeah, because I was trying to surprise you because I knew that's what you wanted.

Yeah, yeah.

So I really bought it.

Because I'm a genie.

Yeah, he's a genie.

He's a genie in this.

I'm a genie in this.

In this.

You're a genie in this.

Yeah, I'm a genie in this.

Okay.

Yeah.

Because I can get you food from anywhere for your dream meals.

Right.

Because, you know, otherwise the whole podcast would fall apart.

Right.

Of course.

That makes sense.

So is that a surprise that he's a genie?

Well, I saw the lamp when I walked in here.

So I've assumed there'd be some sort of genie involved in the menu.

And I'm just realizing now the lamp does ruin the surprise beneath us so we shouldn't really have the lamp in here how am i meant to

unless i unless i rub the magic lamp three times come on guys yeah come on these are basic genie rules we never actually have anyone rub the lamp so for some reason i'm just always just whenever i like just popping out the lamp oh okay so we've kind of changed but then when we did the live shows we had a giant lamp on stage and and the guests did have to rub the lamp before right but that's because everyone could see us right it kind of does ruin that yeah you should have one of those floors you pop out the floor yeah we should do that i can't there's probably a technical name for those no i think that it's called the floors where you pop out the floor

would you if someone offered you a play and was like ella we need you in this play but you've got to pop out the floor would you do it but how many times would they have to say you're going to pop out the floor during the play for you to say no oh that's a really good question thank you also very oddly uh specific um and weirdly phrased i don't know i've never done it so i don't know how much i'd like it i think i'd quite like to it's like i love roller coasters i'm thinking of it it like a roller coaster.

It's kind of like the opposite of the drop.

It's the lift.

Yeah.

Well, I guess you do have to go up to come down, don't you?

Well, that's very deep.

So deep.

Wow.

10 past nine in the morning.

That's so profound.

People listening to this won't know.

10 past nine, I'd have to just drop that on it.

Gosh, I surprised myself with that.

So I'd like to do it quite a few times.

I'd actually say I won't do the plate unless I can do it at least 10 times.

Well, every entrance of your character needs to be from the floor.

Yes, it means.

That would be kind of amazing.

Which wouldn't spread out, though, because what if they were like...

Oh, yeah, definitely spread out.

Yeah, if it was not 10 in 10 minutes.

Oh, God, no.

No, because

popping out the floor.

How would you feel about dropping through the floor, though?

Another good question.

Is that safe?

Yeah, it'll be safe.

Is it like the floor just disappears and I just fall through it?

Yeah, like it's a trapdoor.

You just go.

Oh, okay.

Well, no, I think I'd like that less because I'm quite accident-prone.

So like, one, the odds of me hurting myself, if I'm doing it 10 times, quite, I'd say like 50%, I'd say quite high.

If I'm doing it two times, it's still 50%, but it's like less injuries, you know?

And it's every night as a play.

It's every night.

A lot of injuries and a run.

How long's the run, you know?

Oh, months, I think.

Oh, it's really successful.

Yeah.

Months, yeah.

Months long.

Yeah, yeah.

People love it.

It does really well.

Oh, Matt, you've lost me.

Yeah.

That's a prestige where he

removes because he dropped through the floor as part of his act.

One of the magicians does.

Oh, that's right.

The other magician sabotages him by removing the crash.

So he goes, I would think that every night.

I go, what if another magician is sabotaging me?

Do you know what I mean?

But you're a genie.

You can kind of...

Genies and magicians, that's rough rivalry.

That's it.

It's a rivalry.

Genies and magicians.

Surely genies win every time.

Yeah, yeah.

Genie Trump's magician.

Genie Trump's microwave.

I think so, right?

That makes sense.

That feels right.

Yeah, but then magicians, like, we're their biggest threat because, like, we can take all their business.

Because we can do any magic tricks.

I mean,

they're kind of imposters, actually, in your industry.

They're fake genies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They are fake genies, and and that's what we call them and I thank both of you for recognising.

We're talking about you acting in plays but come on.

Sweet Peace coming out tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I'm just looking at Benito there because he

was very confusing, wasn't he?

Before

we've started recording.

I think you're doing great, Benito.

Yeah, but he was confusing before we started recording.

A wee bit.

Yeah.

But as we know, today is the 9th of October.

And tomorrow, the show.

The show comes out.

Sweet Pea, the show.

It's always the quiet ones.

It is.

That's the tagline.

What can you tell people about Sweet Pete?

Um, what can I tell people?

Well, okay, so Sweet Pete is

a show about a quiet young woman.

Well, she's got a lot to say, it's just no one's listening.

She people played by anyone we know.

You may, you may have heard of her.

Uh, her name's Ella, she's great, yes, fantastic.

She comes up, quite clumsy about Accident Prone.

It's funny because every time she just appears in the scene, we don't know where she comes, she just pops up through the floor.

Um, uh, no, Rhiannon is uh, is very quiet.

She's sort of overlooked, very invisible.

And then she discovers this intoxicatingly addictive taste for murder.

Can you tell I've been doing loads of press and this is my like stock kind of corporate?

Make her feel special.

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

What's up?

How much I'm lucky to have told you the genie thing?

Yeah, sorry.

Sorry,

she kills people and it's it's she likes it.

Oh, that sounded not great.

Well, let me go.

You're about selling the show to me.

She kills people.

She kills people.

She kills people.

To be honest,

that's a good tagline as well.

There's always the quiet ones, but it could have just been she kills people and she likes it.

And I would watch that.

You know, we were going between the two, and

it was a toss-up.

It was very close.

Yeah.

We ended up with, it's always the quiet.

It rolls off the tongue quicker, I think, easier.

Yeah.

How do you play someone who just, because like, in some things, like, at the start, someone already is a serial killer.

But how do you play someone who discovers they like it and make that believable?

It's actually a good question because I found that quite difficult, but it ended up being really necessary, I think, because we're trying to do female dexter, right?

We're trying to get the audience to feel conflicted.

You know, the whole first episode is about you relating to this character.

People don't see her.

She has to kind of smile through all of these like really shitty things that happen to her.

And it's relatable, I hope.

And people should be able to relate to her emotions, but not necessarily her actions.

Yeah.

Don't kill people.

That's the message I would like to spread.

It's sort of, I have to, it's a disclaimer.

I've got to get it in every interview.

Don't kill people.

So it's kind of necessary, I think, for you to see, follow her journey.

And in the end, you're kind of slightly rooting for her.

You want her to stand up for herself.

Maybe not that way, maybe other ways.

That is, it's, it's fun, isn't it?

Because like, you know,

with stuff like that with Dexter, you know, you're like, well, obviously, I don't think he should be murdering people.

Obviously.

But a lot of, you know, it's a TV show.

It represents murdering bad guys.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Well, that is interesting to say that because she kind of comes up up with this moral code throughout the show where she's like right i've i've now i've you know i've killed someone i need to i need to kind of justify this so she decides well okay good people deserve to live and bad people deserve to die and she's kind of playing god in this in this way and then that's that's the progression of the series is that moral code sort of blows up in her face i'll tell you my shit with dexter briefly while we're on it what i i never liked that guy interesting

i think you're really in the minority there i don't like him

and not just because of the murders Before the show even starts, the opening credits, he eats his breakfast really weirdly.

The floss is weird.

Do you remember the opening credits?

I do, I do.

Okay, well, how's about this for the opening credits?

He cooks some bacon, eats it, then cooks an egg and eats it.

Yeah.

He doesn't have them together.

Who the f?

I just put that down to like fancy editing.

No, but

you're right.

Yeah, he's in the order that he does.

But what if he thought, oh, I'll have a light breakfast and then he realises I'm still hungry.

Well, yeah, and he gets up and cooks the rest of it.

He does it with juice as well, though.

he doesn't eat it all on the same plate at the same time.

He makes the juice, makes the coffee.

So that immediately I'm going, there's something up with this guy.

And they chose that as the opening credits.

It's not just a, they're choosing that to show who this guy is.

Yeah.

It's not just a one-off.

You thought, oh, actually, I want more than that.

What does that say about someone?

It says, it says that, Joe Watt, he's a psychopath.

This guy probably kills people.

To be fair, if I was hanging out with someone and they sat down and ate their bacon, got back up, cooked an egg, sat down, I'd be like, this person kills people.

Yeah, yeah.

I've got to go home.

Yeah, yeah something's going on yeah yeah yeah yeah um are you much of a foodie do you kill people

if this was just a sting for the fbi sorry i've now actually forgotten your original question because i was thinking so much about what you did killing people yeah yeah

do you do you like food like dexter likes food uh yeah but i do cook it mostly all in one go

um i do love food i'm a big i'm a big foodie yeah i love food that's why i'm so excited about this podcast but i thought i'd actually get food oh no which i oh no a lot of people

are not right.

No, no, no.

We don't give anyone food.

What we do is we make people talk about food until they're really, really hungry.

So you'd be like shaking by the end.

And you always do it like first thing in the morning before anyone's had any breakfast as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you are, we're all softer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But

you'll enjoy the meal that you have after this way more than you would have if you were eating on a podcast.

That's true.

So

we have made your meal for the day better by talking about food first and then you go and do that.

You're a glass half-fall kind of guy.

I see you.

Yeah, well, I'm getting paid.

The rest of the time, God knows.

You can be more wrong on that.

You'll want to talk to me outside of this.

But I'll try and like put a positive spin on it.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, with that light's red, I'm a very upbeat guy.

Yeah.

First of all, we will start with still a sparkling water.

Still.

I have a theory.

So sparkling water, we need to call it something else because it doesn't taste anything like water.

Sparkling water should taste like, it should taste neutral, just fizzy.

And sparkling water doesn't taste neutral.

It tastes bitter and sour and like something else.

It's like an unflavored soda.

I know I've just described sparkling water.

I'll let it start again.

It's sour.

I hate it.

I really don't like it.

And it really bothers me that it's called sparkling water.

It should be called something else.

It should have its own name.

We should come up with a name now then.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So for the listener, it's now 9.19.

Why are you doing time checks like we're on live radio?

We've got to come up with my name for sparks in water.

I want people to know what pressure we're under.

Ella was like spouting philosophy earlier.

I think came in so hard about it.

I think you're going to be okay, but Ed and I aren't fine on all cylinders.

We've got to come up with a new name for sparkling water at 9.19 in the morning.

It should sound how it feels.

So sour is a word you've used a few times.

Yeah, it's bitter.

Yeah.

Bitter sour bubbles.

People can't see me, but I just made it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, that would be, I don't don't know if I could pronounce that.

Yeah, I used to.

Yeah, yeah.

Every time, do you want still or?

Yeah, less people would be asking for that.

It's not just like slightly off-putting.

If the waiter offered me that, I'd look at him and say, no, thank you.

Yeah, it would remind you of like, oh, that's how it's going to feel, actually.

So

I'd rather just have the still water.

Yeah.

And still or tap.

Like, if you go into places, are you a tap person?

I don't really

care

about all the difference.

It feels like they're trying to rip you off as well.

It does.

They are.

When they say still a sparkling water, you know there's a third option.

You know.

But no one's saying it.

Why do they ever tell you?

Yeah, they should say still sparkling water.

They shouldn't assume that you know that they have a tap.

They may not have a tap.

That's true.

I wouldn't go to a restaurant that didn't have a tap.

That would be a real suspicion.

But you wouldn't know.

You wouldn't know.

How do you know?

Yeah.

Okay, well, I go in and go, first of all, do you have a tap?

And then I'll eat your food if you've got a tap.

Hi, can I see a menu?

And also, do you have a tap?

Can I see a menu and your tap?

take me back there and show me you've got a tap otherwise it's weird i would like to see the tap i think if you are um if you are ordering tap water it would be good to see the tap you're going to judge the restaurant on the cleanliness of their taps rank no you're right well there's a massive lime scale build up on that tap oh god i wouldn't want to eat there i wouldn't want the tap water that's for sure no then i'd get still yeah maybe that's the standard we need to be setting you can see what this tap is take me back there so enlightening yeah can you think of like so if you are having tap water and this is your dream meal, is there a tap that you've seen in your life that you'd like that's the tap I would like it to come from?

It's honestly the first time we've ever asked this.

Is it?

I was going to say we've done over 200 of these.

What?

Whoa, that's a great question.

I haven't seen that many cool taps in my life to be honest.

Come on, come off of it.

What have you seen a lot of cool taps?

Hello, you're a big star.

Yeah.

I am a big star.

Are you telling me?

You're telling me they don't have good taps.

Guys, all taps kind of look the same.

Are you joking?

Come on.

Separate hot and cold tap or a mixer tap.

Oh, no, I hate when they do it separately.

Yeah.

Because then when I'm trying to wash my face in warm water, it's hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold.

I can't.

It's too stressful.

And then I burn with it and then it's too cold.

And then you end up just doing cold and then you're cold.

And

it's a very stressful experience.

I don't want to have to hold my hand separately and then mix them together.

Trying to mix hot and cold water in a bowl hand is really uncomfortable.

See, I clearly have a lot of, I didn't realize I had so strong feelings about taps.

Yeah, see?

But no, that really does bother me, actually.

You are being surprised in this podcast, but by your own appearance.

By my own.

I didn't know I had so many.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank you so much.

So you were like a mixer tap.

I like a mixer tap.

But for a drink, surely, you don't want a mixer tap.

Oh, no.

No, but I wouldn't turn the hot tap.

Unfair of you.

Because you led Ella down this path of choosing the mixer tap.

Now you've gone fucking gotcha.

You tricked me.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a gotcha, interview.

Sorry, Ella.

You've been gotcha.

But when it's one tap, you just turn the cold bit on.

I wouldn't turn the hot and the cold if I was drinking water.

No one wants to drink warm water.

Does anybody want to drink warm water?

Some people will have a mug of warm water in the morning with like a slice of lemon in it.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Pop nubs or bread.

Pop nugs or bread, Elopada.

Pop nubs or bread.

Bread, please.

Bread, please.

Can I get specific?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

With butter?

My little butter?

Of course.

Okay, marmite butter.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You're

oh fantastic i love this restaurant yeah it's great yeah i love uh marmite and i love butter and i i like them together mix them together have you had marmite butter i have it's a place in wales called

i'm gonna say heanies or healies heanies definitely an n heanies uh and they do marmite butter with sourdough and it's unbelievable great i actually once asked them for three uh extra bits of marmite butter and i put them in a to-go box and they i don't know why they looked at me like that was unusual because i feel like a lot of people must do that they're known for their marmite butter.

Yeah.

And he looked at me like I'd offended his ancestors or like I'd done something deeply, deeply wrong.

Maybe they're used to people enjoying the marmite butter, but they're not used to people being like packaged some up like they were doing shopping.

But I feel like, well, yeah, fair, but also fair, but also not fair because

you're not wrong for it.

You should really be known for it.

It's not like you can get it anywhere else.

It's not like you're like, oh, that was great.

I'll get some marmite butter on the way.

If I could just go home and make it myself and mix a bit of marmite and butter, that'd be ridiculous.

You can't do that.

I could never do that.

You You wouldn't get the ratios right.

It wouldn't be right.

It wouldn't be right.

And is it sourdough you're having?

I think you could do that.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, I think you could give that a go.

No, you couldn't.

No?

You can talk to me about it.

I'm sensing some tension here, guys.

Are we all right?

I've had enough of them.

Should we take a quick break?

I've had enough of them.

It's been so many episodes of this.

How many episodes have you done?

How many benefits?

Too many.

James doesn't know.

He's got no idea.

Over 200.

Over 200.

Over 200.

It's contrarian bastion.

i'm just saying i think you could mix marmite and butter together and

i think you could i think you could yeah yeah it wouldn't be the same experience sure but maybe they put something extra in there what if it is yeah what if it is that's the end of their business i guess yeah

sorry heany i really do like them i'm so so sorry well just dragged them through the mud

shouldn't have looked at you like that

what they get warm sourdough yeah with the with the marmite butter from heanies yeah and then you just you don't spread it with a knife You just, you take the bread and you use the bread as an edible spoon and you just dip it.

And also you get in there fast before anyone else can have any.

I've got three younger brothers, so I learned to eat very quickly and a lot.

So it's embarrassing when I go out for dinner with people because they don't get to eat because I've eaten it all for them.

Yeah, because you're just always aware that someone else could have it first.

Yeah, I've got elbows up.

Yeah, elbows up.

Elbows up, ready to throw hands.

It's like your brothers are there all the time, right?

They are.

They're there all all the time.

All the time.

It's really.

People having dinner with you going, Ella, there's three boys standing behind you.

For the listener.

There are three boys.

They've got the studio now.

It's 9, 26.

Twice if you need.

And Ella's got three boys standing behind us.

Your dream starter.

My dream starter.

I'm going to go for soup dumplings because I love them, but specifically from a place in New York called Joe Shanghai.

And there's a very specific way you have to eat them as instructed by me and I get to watch you eat them.

We're eating together.

I'm not eating alone.

It's just part of the soup dumpling experience is the eating of the soup dumplings.

Yes.

I would say I would say that goes for all food.

Imagine another 200 episodes.

That may actually be accurate.

Yeah.

Sorry.

No, now, now who's being professional?

Now I'm aware.

Yeah, yeah, now who's self-aware.

Look at us all slowly achieving enlightenment.

Look at that.

What an attitude.

Gorgeous.

Sorry.

No, don't be sorry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right.

It's true.

Part of the experience of the food is eating the food.

Yes, I suppose so.

Just fucking destroy them.

No, but specifically with this, it's an interactive experience.

I do know what you mean.

I was being facetious.

I know, but I do agree with you.

I have a lot.

I care a lot about the mouthfeel of a food.

Yeah, yeah.

It can't be too squishy or too crunchy.

It has to be the perfect mouthfeel.

But this is not so much about, I'd actually say the mouthfeel of a soup dumpling is quite bad, but the experience of watching someone eat it and the sound effects, it's just very good.

It's all very good.

Take us through the technique.

How do you want people to eat it?

You have to bite the tip off

and then drink the soup out the dumpling out of the spoon.

I did not expect this.

And then, yeah.

No, no, this isn't dumplings in soup.

This is soup in dumplings.

Yes, I know it's soup and dumplings, but I thought, so here's me with a soup dumpling.

Right.

Just pop it in.

No.

Pop it in a hole.

Wrong.

Let it pop.

Let the soup flow over my tongue.

And burn your mouth.

Burn your mouth.

No, no, no.

That's the thing.

You burn your mouth.

You don't have feeling in your mouth then.

Huh?

Do you have feelings?

It's not the first time he's been accused of this.

You don't have feeling in your mouth.

Yeah, yeah.

Every time.

Here's my girlfriend.

She does that to me.

You have no feeling in your mouth.

Get out of my sight.

I have feeling in my mouth.

Although, once Eddie and I went for a meal and everything was like Sechuan Pepper stuff, so it numbed up your tongue.

And then we had soup dumplings.

Yeah.

And it goes over the tongue.

So I didn't, I guess on that occasion, I didn't have to be a little bit more.

You didn't let it mummy in your mouth.

But it was pretty great.

I'm going to try that.

That's really inspired me.

I do completely agree with you.

That's how I ate soup dumplings.

Yes.

Bite a little bit off.

So there's a hole so some steam can come out.

So it cools down.

And then you drink some of the soup.

Correct.

You get a taste of the soup and then the dumpling.

Correct.

It's like a two-course meal.

Do you bite the top or the side?

I think I bite the top.

Right.

Because I don't want it spilling out the side.

The nipple.

Yeah, the nipple.

The nipple.

I bite the nipple.

But if you put it on the spoon.

It's 9.30 in the morning.

You put it it on the spoon.

Yes.

And then bite the nipple.

And then you bite the nipple.

Bite the nipple on the dumpling.

And then you drink the soup.

Yeah.

And then you eat the.

Yeah.

It's good.

I guess if we're extending the analogy.

No, okay.

But

we found the line.

Yeah, yeah.

We found the line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I checked with James and no.

I mean, that was enough.

I don't like that.

It's a dumpster.

Talking about HR after this.

Do you have an HR department?

Yeah, called Benito.

Called Benito, and he doesn't.

He's sad about that.

Listen, he doesn't.

He didn't give a shit.

He didn't care.

We would go and slack each other off to him.

He just

ignores us both.

Therapist as well, then.

Therapist, HR.

But bad at all of it.

Busy on.

Bad at all of it.

Very busy.

The worst in the biz.

I can't imagine what you're talking about with this soup dumpling.

I can't imagine how you're making it work because to me, it's so...

It's so wobbly

that you couldn't tip it and have a drink out of it because it would just all splat all over you.

And that's part of the experience.

Right.

Is that if you bite the nipple and not the side,

chances are you're going to spill it because you've got to tip your head back so far.

So you're biting the side.

You're biting the side.

Well,

it depends.

It depends on how it's made because I had one quite recently.

By recently, I mean, yesterday.

No, no.

What day is it?

Two days ago.

And I bit the top and it was too much.

What is it?

Dough.

Bread.

What is it made of?

Yeah.

I thought I'd speak.

What is it made of?

It's like I've never spoken english before what is made of what is dumpling what is dumpling um yeah i know because that's where they pinch at the top when they make it but there's a bit more dough

yeah yeah yeah so it depends on on the dumpling but if you if you do that and you tilt it back it does spill down you and that and that's the soup dumpling experience but if it's on the spoon you're catching some of the soup in the spoon anyway aren't you so it's depends how big the spoon is yeah and how big the dumpling is and how big the dumpling is

have you seen the ones that are massive that come with a straw stuck in them what what i don't know where they do them but i've seen them it's a bit instagram-y but they do like huge ones, stick a straw in it, and then you drink the soup out with the straw.

You've just, that's a game changer.

Yeah, yeah.

My mind is blown.

Yeah, that's disgusting.

I don't think that tastes as nice as these little ones.

No, because then you're basically just having a bowl of soup, and then at the end, you get like a bunch of pasta or whatever.

I do see kind of what you mean, actually.

But it's not actually eating a soup dumpling, is it?

It's like...

Well, what's the dumpling?

It's dumpling.

I thought I said bread earlier.

You left that alone.

No,

I see sort of, and then we're back to the next thing, because with the soup, the regular soup dumpling experience, you're doing soup, dumpling, soup, dumpling, soup, dumpling, soup.

With this one, it's soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup, soup.

Yeah.

Big dumpling.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's, it's not quite the same.

But I mean, how big is the dumpling?

It's quite like

big.

Right, okay.

Yeah, like big.

Right.

It's like when you see the like clam chowder in a bread bowl.

You know?

It's like that.

It's not for me.

Because then with the clam chowder, you're just left with so much bread afterwards.

Wet bread?

Yeah, wet bread.

Yeah, no one wants that.

No, I like my bread dry.

With my butter on it.

Buttery.

yeah i can't that's wet or is that oily yeah that's not wet glad we cleared that one up

um what kind of soup is in the soup dumpling um

uh chicken pork i don't eat fish so i i never really go for like the shrimpy prawny ones not for me yeah normally pork right pork pork yeah like yeah pork broth pork yeah pork broth soup dumplings is what you would like soup dumplings and you would like to watch us eat them as well mostly yeah it is part of the experience.

I don't eat them on my own very often.

I really just like introducing people to the experience.

It's really fun.

I love a game.

I love an interactive food experience.

I love watching people spill on themselves.

I think it's hilarious.

Interesting.

Are you dipping the dumplings in anything, like the vinegar soy mix with chili oil?

I won't really dip it, but I will, because you know, when they get stuck together, the soup dumplings, then they rip and then the soup falls out.

And then you've just got a dumpling, you haven't got a soup part's gone.

So I like to take the vinegar, smush it around, break the dumplings up, and then so that it's all, you know, it's all mixed up.

But you're, when you break the dumplings up, you're being very careful to not.

It's like surgery.

You really just get it.

It's like operations.

It's not that game.

Yeah.

It's another game.

I love a game.

And you love a game.

I do love a game.

Famously.

Famously.

As of right now, I love a game.

What's your favorite game?

Ooh, very good question.

Very good.

Top three.

Twister.

I really do love a game.

Twister, guess who?

But you have to ask at character traits.

You can't.

you know, ask them what they look like.

It's got to be like, is your character having a brat summer?

It's got to be like that.

Number three, oh, that's a tough one there's one called watch your mouth and you put this bit of plastic in your mouth and it it holds you out of the heart like this yeah and then you have to say things sorry i'm just realizing you can't see me i am being perceived yeah we can see you uh i am indeed real and alive yeah and you have to say things to be able to guess what you're saying and those are my top three i'm obviously those first two twister and guess who they're classics yeah how did you discover uh watch your mouth people buy me games as gifts quite often uh-huh

gifts don't mean to brag and i got given it it.

And then we played it after having a couple of drinks.

It was really good.

Have you ever combined watch your mouth with Guess who?

Or Twister.

Or Twister at the same time.

Wait, no, but that's kind of fun.

That's good, right?

How have I not thought of this?

This is so smart.

It could be really good with Twister, right?

Because you're saying left hand on green, but you're actually saying,

and you don't know.

You don't know what they've said.

So you've got to guess.

Who's going with that colour?

Exactly.

No one ever wins on Guess Who because it's too hard, but it's really funny.

So about again, it's about the experience.

It's not funny.

But why when you play it?

No one ever wins.

When I play it, I never win, is what I mean.

Like that.

Okay.

So we play a quick game of Guess Who now with the just, I'm just thinking of one of these two.

I feel.

But you got to play like your rules.

You've got to ask me.

I really don't want to.

Go on.

I can't.

Just go for it.

Because my question is always really mean.

I just, I can't do that to Ben.

It's okay.

So it's Ben.

It's you.

So we're going for Ben, are we?

Well, you can't ask me, is it Ben or is it?

Hang on.

Why can't you do that to Ben, but you don't mind doing it to me?

Well, you've already been.

Is it because you can think of mean things for Ben, but not for me?

Or is it because you absolutely don't mind tearing me apart?

Can it be both?

They don't seem mutually exclusive.

Yeah, they're not mutually exclusive.

Yeah, you've been sitting there being like, do you want to mix or tap?

But if you ask that, you're a fucking idiot.

So you deserve everything you get.

Yeah, that's fair.

Would you eat a soup dumpling with the watch your mouth thing in?

How would you manage that?

How are you coming up with these?

How are you doing it?

This is why I can't do the podcast.

It's the best of the best.

truly you're blowing my mind um no you could physically not i think i don't think you can swallow can you swallow with your mouth open god that was uh i think you some people can i saw it on taskmaster i just did it yes is that what you're doing when you took your support bonito looks like looks disgusted on taskmaster bonito there was a task on tete birch's series because she's the one who can do it

you did it again yeah i did it again

i just wanted to check it wasn't luck for the listener ed is sat on his chair drinking water like a swan he looks like a turtle yeah like a turtle that can't get back in its shell but it's really trying yeah that's good that's a good clue for me on guess who who looks like

he looks like the turtle trying to get back into his shell back into his shell yes

gamble yes very good you get that a lot yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm so sorry that's all right it's a good vibe just so you know we're going to carry on with the menu but the game of guess who is still open i am thinking of one of these two okay i'm going to think hanging and if at any point you want to ask me a question about it, you can.

Dream Man, course.

We've got the soup dumped in for the starter and the starter, by the way.

Oh, thank you.

Really, yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

I really appreciate that.

Okay, I've got a good one.

Have you ever seen Spy Kids?

It's the first time anyone's gone into it.

Okay, I've got a good one.

Have you ever seen Spy Kids?

I haven't.

I know what film you're talking about.

I know Spy Kids, Kids, the film.

I really have seen Spy Kids, but I don't remember any of the food in Spy Kids.

Okay, well, there's not much.

Actually, that's not true because apparently, I found this out recently.

The entire film, I think, is sponsored by McDonald's.

Don't know how that happened.

Great collaboration.

Wow.

Anyway, there's a scene where they're at the safe house.

How many times have you seen Spy Kids?

You're a big Spy Kids fan.

So you and your three brothers watched it a lot.

Yeah,

I watched it a lot on my own.

I spent a lot of time alone as a child, as you can probably tell.

And I watched a lot of spy kids i really loved spies i sort of have a very weird obsession with spies they're cool

spies are objectively cool yeah no one's like that spy's a nerd because even being a nerd spy is still cool because you can't trust that they're a nerd either because there's probably a spy thing exactly yeah yeah anyway i'm quite obsessed with like you know when you see um you know it's like in older movies like when when they do gadgets and they've got like you know phones or make-believe like things that they've just invented for the film and they're always like really nap but kind of amazing you really want one so they've got this sort of microwave it's called a rehydrating machine and uh one at the the the female spy uh the the female child spy yeah uh carmen is her name i've just remembered that yeah she pulls out a little packet she's like look we're gonna rehydrate this can you tell i'm an actress that was incredible reaction you just got the part that was amazing there's so much feeling when it's already a spy she's like look we're gonna we've we found this packet we're gonna rehydrate it and she puts it in the microwave no sorry rehydrating machine and it's the most gorgeous looking burger you've ever seen in your life It's like a burger on steroids.

It's massive.

First of all, it must be a fake burger.

It must be made of marzipan or something.

It can't be a real burger.

There's no way.

A marzipan burger.

It's gorgeous.

I need to find a picture of this.

It just looks incredible.

And I'm not going to be able to do it.

I need to Google Spy Kids Burger.

Please.

Google.

Yeah.

Spy Kids Burger Rehydrating Making Making Making Making Making.

Thank you.

Rehydrating Machine.

Rehydrating Machine.

Rehydrating.

And if you can't find an image of it, go on videos.

Surely someone's clipping it up.

It just looks.

Download Spy Kids.

Download Spy Kids.

I'm sure it tastes amazing.

I think about it a lot.

It's that added technology element that's kind of cool as well.

Because you're like, imagine if that thing existed.

Then you could just have that bog.

You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

When they come out with all these gadgets and they're just so silly and they would never work in real life, but you're like, imagine if it did.

Yeah.

It's so cool.

I think in...

maybe in Red Dwarf, there's a machine where they just put in whatever they want and it just makes it straight away.

That's the dream.

Yeah.

In Spy Kids, he's got a pair of glasses.

Sorry to get your Spy Kids, Briggs.

Yeah, Spy Kids.

He's got a pair of glasses and it comes out with like all of these different lenses.

It goes like that.

And it's like, he's got like 12 lenses that come out in this one monocle.

And on a nine-year-old boy, it's hilarious and brilliant.

And I just think you want that as well.

Yeah, I love the glasses as well.

You want the monocle with the multiple lenses and you want to.

You want the monocle?

And you want the rehydrating burger.

Much just the rehydrating machine.

I also think later in the film.

Have you?

Okay, there's a video.

Full disclosure, that looks like a normal burger.

No, no, no.

Play the video.

I'm just going to...

Ben, you're doing me dirty here.

Come on.

Help me out.

Okay, so we're watching the quick.

Wait, see, that's the rehydrating thing.

Look at how cool this tech is.

The screen's gone over.

That's pretty cool.

It looks like a tumble dryer.

A little tumble dryer.

That's a normal-sized burger has just come out.

Yeah, but when you're a kid.

A very normal-looking...

Wait, it does look so normal.

It looks like a...

Ella, I'm going to say it.

It's a Big Mac.

That's a Big Mac.

I mean,

you've told us that the sponsor by McDonald's, that is just quite a nice looking.

You are right.

But what I'm going to say is I was disappointed.

It looked so much.

But in your memory, it's amazing.

In my memory, it was like I would rewind it and rewind it and rewind it and say, Mum, please, can I have a burger?

Mum, please, please, please.

And it looks amazing.

And now I've kind of ruined my job.

Well, we didn't know that that was going to happen just then.

We thought your description of it sounded so good.

I really thought you guys were going to be like, wow, the burger.

But the concept of the machine is amazing.

I don't want a Big Mac for my...

No, but you don't have the burger from your memory.

From your memory.

Right.

Yes.

Okay.

Can I have the burger that only I can remember?

Yes.

Just close your eyes and imagine.

You're like, do I trust you?

And imagine the best burger you've

ever possibly imagined.

That's what it was on my mind.

Going to the Red Lion when I was a kid in Wellham.

You know that?

Yeah.

And having the burgers there, my memory of them is that they were as big as my head.

Yeah.

And they were amazing.

And everything was like, like the cheese was really thick.

And I had the one that had a fried egg on it as well.

Didn't eat it separately like Dexter had it on the burger.

And like, I had to eat it with a knife and fork, like a big pie.

It was so big.

I'm sure that if I went back in time and saw it, it would just be a normal thing.

Because you were smaller, weren't you?

So it probably, you probably did need a knife and fork.

Your head's bigger now, yeah.

My head's grown, but like.

I didn't want to say it.

Thank you.

Okay.

It'd be scary if it had to be.

It would be really scary

if I had this head as a kid.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that would have been scary but um i didn't yeah also i feel like food just never ended when you're a child you know when your mum's like you've got to finish your plate it's like it it just it just keeps going it never ends never happened to me really yeah i was a big fat kid were you i finish everything okay seconds seconds all seconds yeah yeah yeah seconds thirds everything no food you didn't like no not really i i tried i tried to tell everyone i didn't like tomatoes once because i felt like i shouldn't like something i felt weird that all my friends all had things they hated.

So I was like,

were you like secretly eating them in your bedroom?

Yeah, I love them.

Absolutely.

You loved these huge bowls of tomatoes.

Yeah.

But no, I loved it.

I love tomatoes.

But I was like, I don't like tomatoes, guys.

I'm cool too.

Right, right, right, right.

No ketchup, though?

That's tough.

Tomatoes, you've gone for one that's kind of like, I mean, no bolognese, no, no, you know, tomatoes.

Raw tomatoes, I was saying that I didn't like.

Oh, okay, fine, five.

I did like them.

You did like them.

Yeah.

You did like them.

Oh, you've just been outed.

You've outed yourself.

Yeah.

Oh, no, i'm i'm out and about now you're out and about yeah yeah

everyone that you went to school with doesn't know you were lying at the time so if they listen to this go i can't believe gamble was lying about yeah yeah we all believe that he didn't like to mark this with what he was a lot of lives right now that's a big moment

huge this is a podcast exclusive you you would like the um the burger that from your memory from spy kids yeah i guess so i'm disappointed in my auction now where's the choice from your falsely remembered version of spy Kids is the burger that you would like for your dream main course.

Spy Kids memory burger.

Yeah,

I'm committing.

I'm locked in.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm going to stand by it.

Yeah.

I'm owning it.

Yeah.

Even though it was a bit disappointing.

Are there chips in your memory as well?

They are eating the chips.

They are in there in my memory.

You didn't mention it.

It was like just a plate with a massive burger.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's so disappointing, guys.

I mean, my heart hurts.

I do encourage everyone listening to this to watch the video because

it's very funny when you see how normal the burger is.

Well, and how much it's clearly a big mac and fries.

But I wonder how many people can relate to what I'm saying because I think a lot of people think that burger

was amazing.

Spy Kids was huge.

The Spy Kids kids

in that.

We're not doubting that the Spy Kids was huge.

We've never once disputed that Spy Kids was huge.

No, I know I'm just huge.

They got like, what, two sequels?

It was huge.

But like, even the Spy Kids kids in that clip don't seem fussed about that burger.

They get it.

Right.

And then they're doing something else while eating it.

They're not even like arguably disappointed.

They don't care.

They're like, this is a normal burger.

We know it's just normal.

Yeah, fine.

But that's nice that in your head it's great.

And that's what you're getting for your meal.

And that's what I'm getting.

Because it is off-menu, isn't it?

I guess choose whatever I want.

Yeah, choose whatever you want.

So if it's your memory of this mind,

I love that it's a game now.

Everything's a game.

Everything's a game.

If you're competitive enough.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

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Your dream side dish.

Side's hard because I'm not really much.

I really like the concept of a salad, but I never like the actual salad.

But I like the, you know, and especially when you're a bit full and you've had something quite hot and heavy, and then you feel a bit weighed down, and you think a salad's going to undo that damage

because it's like cold and refreshing and green.

It's like a bright colour.

And it never does that.

It's always disappointing.

So, not a salad, but I thought I wanted you to know that I went there.

I would like to eat the concept of a salad, but not the actual salad.

Hey, well, look, your main spike is memory burger.

Spike is memory burger.

The concept of a salad would be an appropriate site.

Yeah, it would absolutely suit it.

But I'm happy to whittle this down one dish at a time.

No, no, no, no, no, no, we don't have to do that.

Let's just go through all of that.

Salads.

Salads are out.

No, I would like it to be really cheap prawn crackers, like the ones from like, I want them to be like 60p out of a packet from Tesco's or Lidle, and they're greasy

and and uh I don't they don't that's what it's good it's nice when I get crisps from the shop I'll always look for the prawn crackers first right which is funny because I don't eat fish no prawn crackers I don't think have any traces of actual prawn in them no

you think they do yeah I don't think they do I'm pretty sure they're probably vegan or something they don't taste fishy though no they don't yeah they're crispy they're greasy it's just prawn cocktail prawn cocktail crisps have no they're mainly just chewy ketchup flavour i don't think they have have any actual prawn in them, but prawn crackers, I think, are like made of prawns.

Yeah,

raise his eyebrows and nod his head while looking at the screen.

They're vegan, aren't they?

Yes, prawn crackers contain prawns.

That's what AI overviewers said.

What does AI know, eh?

What does the internet know?

Well, maybe I do like fish then, but just in cheap prawn cracker flavours.

From the supermarket, you want supermarket prawn crackers?

Yeah, I just want like really cheap ones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like them when they're fancy and come from a nice restaurant.

They don't, it's not the same.

I want them to kind of like be really greasy.

I want them to make my fingers feel bad after I've eaten them.

Yeah.

Your fingers have to feel bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, like got wash your hands after.

Yeah.

Which I suppose you should probably always do, but I don't very often

mixer tap.

Washing your hands under the mixer tap.

Yeah, hot cod, hot cod, hot like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You like to do it like that.

Yeah.

I've got to make the sound effects too when I do it.

Yeah, you got to say hot cold, hot cold.

So these are like the white prawn crackers, not like the Thai prawn crackers when it's like they're a bit brown and

you want snow fog standard yeah prawn crackers yeah that there's a bit like polystyrene yeah yeah yeah i know but less squeaky yeah than i imagine eating a bit of polystyrene would be never done it neither have i but do you know what that yeah imagine i got here and i was like my my perfect citation

i hate polystyrene man do you yeah i hate it i don't see the point what

polystyrene

we can surely come up with something better by now that's not squeaky and makes me feel weird when when I touch it.

Oh, it makes you feel weird when you touch it.

Yeah, and the idea of my worst thing is imagining someone sawing through some polystyrene.

Oh, that is bad.

That is bad, isn't it?

Oh, no, I don't like that.

I've done it before.

What?

I've sawed through a massive block of polystyrene with a saw.

Why?

I had to get a giant polystyrene W into a car boot, and I couldn't, so I had to saw it into two Vs.

So what are you talking about?

I've got questions.

Yeah.

I was collecting giant yellow polystyrene W's at the time.

I was going for a phase.

How many did you have?

I think we got like five or six in the end.

I can't remember exactly how many, but like, yeah, we got a fair few.

So when you saw that, you stick it back together again on the other side.

We actually didn't end up sticking it back together again.

It was knocked around in my friend's sister's garage for a few years.

I don't know if it's even.

I bet they were thrilled, that friend.

Yeah, yeah.

She ended up with, yeah, the, the, the one that was in half and another one, that sister.

So like, she had those.

You need to find someone that collects polystyrene Vs.

V's, yeah.

Yeah, and they would be delighted.

Yeah.

Oh, that would be the greatest goal up of all time.

Make that person's day.

Now, Ben seems like he has more questions.

Oh, you can't ask.

You can't talk.

Ella said she had questions and then didn't ask any of the questions that I thought you were going to ask.

I asked lots of questions.

Because they weren't the ones that you wanted.

So your questions.

Yeah.

My question.

I've asked my questions.

I've heard that.

What are your questions?

Why, why?

Why did you ask?

Why?

Why is my main question?

Why?

Why were you collecting polystyrene doubles?

Oh, right.

That is the obvious question.

Yeah, of course.

I was in a band called the WoW scenario.

The WOW scenario.

Oh, right.

Oh, it does make sense.

Someone told us, hey, I know someone who's got a giant polystyrene W.

You can have it on stage when you do your gigs.

So went to pick it up and then we went to get it and it was like huge.

And we had to like try and put it on the roof of the car, but it was like going to fly off.

And it was very, it was, and then I bought it out of the car.

It was quite light.

It was quite light.

It would have flown in the air.

Yeah.

That's what we were worried about on the dual carriageway.

If it flies off, you know,

but we got it home and my dad was like, that's not coming in the house.

I was like, there's no, you've got no choice.

There's no saying this, old man.

We're having to do this.

And

then we're talking to a guy, local photographer, and we're like, here's an idea for our photo shoot we're going to do with you.

Got this giant yellow W.

We're going to bring it along to your studio.

And he went, I've already got one.

I don't need it.

And we're like, what are you talking about?

You've already got one.

And he showed us a picture.

We're like, that's identical to our one.

And he was like, yeah, well, this connections have got them in their windows.

They've got this whole thing for people leaving school about what next.

It's this whole campaign they're doing.

They've all been giving these giant yellow dubbers.

They all hate them.

They don't want them in their shops.

They're taking up too much room.

So they just gave me one for free.

They all just want rid of them.

So then at the time, me and my friend were like, let's get loads and fill the whole stage with them.

And we'll do that.

How many did you need though?

Because you're called the wow salad.

Absolutely.

I mean, it's unbelievable that you've managed to require five of these.

Yeah, we got quite a few of them.

And then

we kind of ran out of steam and just forgot about it.

And the band broke up.

The band broke up.

And then, like, my friend Ben, who like kept at least one of them for us in his garage, moved house and forgot about it.

So the people who came in after him would have opened that garage door and been like, what the hell?

Who's this guy?

I mean, look, there's worst letters to collect, isn't there?

I feel like W, out of all the letters, is probably the most versatile.

Well, you know what?

I'm going to ask.

What is the worst letter that you could collect?

Well, an S can only be two C's.

A W can be an I, an N, a Z, or two V's.

Yeah.

An R is pretty shit.

An R could be an I.

Could be two I's or an L, I suppose.

And a L.

It could be an L as well.

An I.

An I is probably, well, no, there's got to be others.

Come on.

B, B.

What can B be?

Two C's, I suppose.

A?

Sorry.

This is my podcast now.

We're going to clip this up.

This is the rantings of a madman.

Like, I've never had a guest do such a...

a model, an intellectual monologue that sounds so insane.

Go through all the letters and what they could be if you chopped them them up.

And not in order.

Not in order.

Just all over the place.

And just for the listener, we haven't sped it up.

That is the speed that Ella was talking.

That was amazing.

I'm so, so sorry.

I got

kind of excited.

But it's interesting.

All the letters could be chopped up to be other letters.

Yeah.

It is interesting.

That's why I got so excited, but because I've never thought of it.

I think C is the worst.

C is the worst.

That's very smart.

C is the worst.

Yeah, C can't be anything else.

C is terrible.

No.

C can't be anything.

yeah sorry and that'd be the worst one like if i was taking that like on top of the car yeah if that blows away it'll boomerang back to you

you're in big trouble this is my favorite conversation i've ever had

i'm going to be thinking about this for such a long time yeah most guests come on here and say that

it's the best conversation i've ever had but do they talk about chopping up letters no they don't oh listen you're the best guest no they don't thank you so much No question.

Did we get your dream side?

Hold on.

It's really, really warm.

Do we know what your dream side was?

To be sorry.

My dream side.

It's porn crackers.

Oh, it's porn crackers, of course it was.

That's how we got to it.

Or the concept of a salad.

Or the concept of sales.

Or the concept of a saddle.

We can give you both.

Am I allowed to?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

So it's the weirdest meal.

If one of them's a concept, you're allowed to.

Okay, fine.

Yes.

One of them's a memory.

Yeah.

Well, we've always, I'm going to be very hungry for memories and concepts.

I don't eat any food.

Yeah.

Water.

You're not doing much to dispel the stereotype of actresses.

most bits imaginary i just like the concept of salad a burger that i remember the stuff is original the starter i just want to watch other people eat yeah yeah yeah that is the most hollywood i've ever heard i like the concept of food yeah yeah yeah

your dream drink diet coke

i almost don't want to ask any questions just a very funny delivery

diet coke so why is that your favourite drink

how many people come on here and and say diet coke but it's true

diet coke's great it is it's the cure for all ailments

i can't even say it yeah but it's it is the cure for hangover and nausea

um

when have you been the most nauseous what what what is that what's made you the most nauseous question isn't it

very weird question what's made you the most nauseous it is pretty weird

yeah what has made me the most nauseous uh food poisoning oh i've got a great i won't tell it go on well you've got you can't do that you can't go on a podcast and say oh i've got got a great story.

He's going to relate to bits, kind of gross.

Yeah, we have a lot of ghost stories.

It involves me outing a chain, which I don't know how you feel about that.

I don't think you should be sponsored by them.

No, no, we're not sponsored by nothing.

Go for it.

By nothing.

We are, Jake.

We record loads of adverts all the time.

I thought it's just me and you.

And if it's one of our sponsors, we'll bleep it.

Okay.

Yeah, bleep the whole story.

Okay, so I went on a date once.

Oh, this is a really bad comment.

Don't tell the story.

I went on a date once with this really fit guy.

He was a model.

He's gorgeous.

Shout out to that guy.

So hot.

It's unbelievable.

No, no, thank you.

He's going to listen to this and he's going to be thrilled.

Maybe you won't.

Buddy, if you're listening, we hope you're having a good day.

No fit guys listen to this.

Yeah, that's just a point.

He's Australian.

He's Australian.

I've got to get to the end of the story.

I'm so embarrassed.

No, no, keep describing this guy.

Okay, he's Australian.

He doesn't know London very well.

He comes to London and we're meeting up, and I can't believe my luck.

And so I take him to.

Have you heard anyone so excited about a date?

Yeah.

Actually, especially not.

I can't believe it.

It's very you hear a woman say that.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe my luck.

This guy's so funny.

I'm so excited about the concept of a date, okay?

I'm cool.

I'm playing it cool.

I think it's very nice.

Yeah, look at me.

Very cool.

In hindsight, did not play it cool.

Took him to a Mexican chain restaurant that I loved that back in the day, this was a while ago, it's about 10 years ago, was quite cool and quite, quite trendy.

Don't know if it is anymore, but it was back then.

Okay.

Took him there, had a great time, had a little snog at the end, ate loads of food, a good chat.

I was thinking.

Did you snog him and then say, I can't believe my luck?

I did.

As I was snogging him, I was like, I can't believe, you know, it was all like, also hyperventilating and crying at the same time.

Breaking away, going,

yeah, but like that, really high-pitched.

Yeah, yeah.

When you snogged, did you have the stuff in your mouth from that game you played?

I was doing it with watch your mouth.

Watch your mouth.

You put that in.

I can't believe.

Like that.

Like that.

It's fantastic.

God, I sound so cool in this story.

It's a cool story.

We know this leaded up to you shitting yourself.

So,

yeah.

You've just ruined the punchline.

Do you like doing that?

Do you like taking people's joy away?

Do you like doing that?

Well, everyone knows that's funny.

That's what's fun about it.

Unbelievable.

I really thought, right, yeah,

long story short is the next day was Halloween.

I invited him to a party.

So I don't know why that's made me laugh so much.

Long story short, it was Halloween.

The next day was Halloween.

Next day.

You invited him to a party.

This is like two days in a row.

You're seeing the...

Oh, yeah, yeah.

He was only in town for a short amount of time.

Yeah.

Did you go to the party?

We're very, you know, Halloween-y,

very hot.

I looked very hot.

I'm going to say it, guys.

I really dressed up.

He can't believe his luck.

He's singing, I can't believe my luck.

Yeah.

What was the hunk dressed as for Halloween?

Batman or something?

I can't remember.

Come on.

It was the hunk.

You can remember that he was dressed like that or something.

I mean, look, it's safe to say we never spoke again after Halloween.

Okay.

So, yeah, we

went to the Halloween party and we walked in.

I looked incredibly fit

and I shit my pants in the middle of this

Halloween party.

And right after I shit my pants,

I turned to him to say, I've shit my pants, but I projectile vomit all down Batman.

And then he turns to me and he also projectile vomits.

We have to leave the party, right?

That's the first thing that's coming.

Well,

I'd say the party's over for most people.

Everyone's going home.

Yeah.

Everyone's going home.

Happy Halloween.

God, this is such a horrible story, but it's also so fucking funny.

Anyway, so we never spoke again.

And turns out this restaurant had this crazy outbreak of norovirus.

I was so unwell for about a week.

It was so embarrassing.

It was just, it's the worst.

It's the worst.

It keeps me up at night.

But also, because of the three brothers, I tell it all the time.

I tell the story all the time.

I tell the parties.

It's great.

And it's hilarious.

Great story.

It's also just, after that, I just, I couldn't believe my luck.

Sorry, I had to say, I had to do it.

I'm so sorry.

I just, I had to end like that.

Yeah, I couldn't believe you that.

Was Fitbatman projectile vomiting because you projectile vomited or did he also have norovirus from the he had norovirus from the restaurant.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My publicist is in there wanting to fall into a hole into the ground.

I'm going to get fired from my.

Your publicist knows what does the mounds on social media.

This is absolutely the best thing that could have happened.

Sweet P is going to be watched by everybody.

I've ruined it.

Yeah, no, I don't.

He also had norovirus.

Yeah.

So that must have made you feel a bit better about it.

Oh, it did.

I mean, look, we're all human, aren't we?

You know?

Nobody is strong enough to withstand the amount of tacos that I ate full of narovirus.

I've eaten straight narovirus.

I mean, look, it's going to happen.

Yeah, of course.

It's fine.

Of course.

Really?

It's a good story.

It could have been an amazing, and that's how I met your mother moment.

It just...

Neither of us was strong enough.

Also, it's good for Halloween.

Projectile vomit's good for Halloween, isn't it?

So unbrand.

If you'd been dressed as the girl from the exorcist, it would have been perfect.

Oh, yeah.

That would have been so good.

Also, why don't we just like pretend that was part of the Halloween, you know, party decorating?

It's hard to do that, I guess, when you stink of sick and shit.

Yeah.

Also, you made a big thing about you're like, I look fit.

I look so fit.

Kids, what a waste of an outfit.

Yeah, yeah.

Had to burn it.

That would be crazy.

I didn't burn it.

My mum had to come pick me up, though.

Oh, it was so embarrassing.

Mom, you picked me up.

I've shat myself at the party.

I'll shat myself, and as I turned to tell my date, I'd shat myself.

I puked a lot for him.

And then he puked.

And then he puked.

And then he puked.

Can you come and pick me up, please?

Please pick me up.

So anyway.

Diet coke.

How do we gone to that?

Diet coke.

Oh, then you had Diet Coke the next day and it cured your eyes.

Oh, and it cured my...

That's...

Yeah, yeah.

That is how...

Why did I tell that story?

We can bleep that whole thing, right?

Yeah, yeah, we're going to bleep the whole...

It's going to be one long

bleep.

We can.

Sure.

We won't.

We can.

We know what our listeners like.

Yeah.

We've told, there's been many stories told in this podcast of, you know,

shitting themselves.

That's one of the more dramatic ones.

Was it?

I like a good dramatic reading.

It's a good one.

Do you want to tell my shit myself story?

You, Ben.

I mean, I hate to have to say this, but which one?

I mean, loads of times.

How many times?

As an adult.

As an adult.

We can't go right.

Oh, as an adult.

It's got to be 18 obviously.

As an adult, twice, I think.

And I think I've told both of them on the podcast.

I think I had a

case of deer from a

truck.

Mexican food truck.

Then did a TV show the next day.

I was in LA, did a stand-up set,

and then my agent, and stand-up set didn't go well, and my agent at the time wanted to go to a steakhouse.

Then I went to the steakhouse, shit my pants.

While you're at a urinal.

Why is that a urinal?

Oh, you were in a bathroom?

Yeah, but it is.

It doesn't count.

What are you talking about?

It doesn't count if you're in a bathroom.

I wasn't sitting on the toilet.

His story is not I was sat on the toilet.

Yeah, Yeah,

I shut myself all the time.

I shut myself this morning.

I was sitting on the toilet, thank God.

Once again, the old toilet caught it.

I guess you

repeatedly shit myself every day into a toilet.

Oh, no, I did it again.

Oh, you.

Don't want to tell people this.

Fine.

At least you're in private.

I was having a...

I was urinating, standing up with my trousers and pants on.

And then shattered into it.

yeah because i thought what did you think this is a fart yeah

one of those eh yeah i was one of the men who stand at urinals and fart while they're pissing the the whole bathroom was empty there no one was in there so i was like i've never pissed down out so i wouldn't know how easy or not easy or what i don't know the connotation you are pissing out is the best feeling in the world there'll be there's men who stand and there's that's the best feeling in the world at all

yeah fart there's men who will proudly fart while they're stood up yeah they're bad men yeah and it's normally like those people fart when they're standing don't they yeah but not not

while they're stood next to them.

You do

pause the P to fart.

They don't do.

These guys, these guys are like, these guys can.

Who knows how they do it?

You see a beatboxer and they can do like

the bass line and the drums at the same time.

You're like, how the fuck is this guy?

That's what these guys, these men are like.

The bass line and the drums at the same time is so good.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

That's going to live in my head rent-free.

That's amazing.

But yeah,

that's when I did it.

Benito is demanding that you say more about Diet Coke.

But like, I don't I don't know if you want you don't have to.

I'm trying to get a Diet Coke sponsorship.

I don't know about you guys.

I'm out here trying to get free Diet Coke for life.

Yeah.

Do you remember like the Nando's black cards?

I don't know if they were actually real or not.

They were real.

We know people who had them.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Weird flex.

I've seen them.

I'm trying to get a Diet Coke black card.

That's all I want.

And that's why you told the puking story.

Because I think that's going to really help their brands.

Yeah, yeah.

Really help their image.

Yep.

That it cures all ailments.

That's the focus.

Yeah, yeah.

It can cure norovirus.

Can cure norovirus.

Wow.

I've said it now.

Yeah.

Am I going to double down?

Yes, I am.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it can.

This has gone very Joe Rogan this podcast.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's bound to happen eventually.

Yeah.

We'll eventually get straight into those waters.

Yeah.

Pull that up, Bonito.

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your dream dessert

the doughnuts from Adventure Island on Southend on TV.

Have you been there?

Adventure Island?

South End on TV?

Oh, it's so good.

Ben is calmly nodding because, of course, he's been.

And you've had the doughnuts, I assume.

Everyone's had the donuts.

No, you have to.

He likes theme parks and stuff.

That was absolutely.

He's definitely been to the...

Yeah.

You like a theme park?

I love a theme park.

I love a roller coaster.

It's my favourite.

Wow, second favourite after games.

Third, third aftergames.

I love that your thought process there was like, oh, no, I've just, I've just betrayed games

by saying

I love roller coasters.

They're my favourite.

I'm nothing if not loyal.

Yeah.

Very loyal.

And I love a list.

So it's important to me to know what my favourite things are in order.

But interestingly, lists are not at the top of the list.

Oh, shit.

You keep doing this.

You keep sort of confusing me.

And

you've given me a lot to think about.

I'm going to go home and

just lie in the dark looking up at the ceiling, thinking about where lists ranks on my lists of favourite things.

Do you love lists more than games and roller coasters?

Shit, I use them more than I use games.

And I definitely visit a list more than I visit a roller coaster.

Roller coaster, you can't do too much.

It loses.

I came in really strong with that opinion.

I do feel quite strong about it.

You can't do a roller coaster too much.

It loses the impact.

Okay.

Once you know where the drop is, it's less, it's less fun.

You forget.

Yeah.

Or close your eyes.

Yeah.

Or with a list, it's fun every time, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

You can't close your eyes with a list.

I quite like reprioritising a list.

I do it like multiple times a day.

Be like, oh, that doesn't deserve number two.

That should be really like number 10.

Yeah, big list person.

I keep list of everything.

Didn't weirdly make a list for this?

Yeah, that's it.

Sort of the only thing I should maybe have made a list for.

But I wanted to be surprised.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we've been surprised both.

I wanted to surprise you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did I succeed?

Are you surprised?

Oh, very surprised.

constantly good with so many surprises i didn't expect you to puke after chitting yourself

yeah you thought you knew the ending of that story didn't you

yeah no the surprisee becomes the surprise her

yeah exactly yeah i spent a lot of time in south end on sea uh my nan lives there uh and i spent a lot of time there when i was a child arguably too much time Had my birthday party there when I was nine.

That's nice.

Yeah.

It was really nice.

Really, really nice.

It's a really, really, really good time.

Why are you so aggressively telling us it was nice?

Because it wasn't very nice.

Okay.

Because

it was fine.

It was just, it was, um, it was a birthday party, and I, you know, I didn't, I didn't have a ton of friends.

And so I invited, I invited nine people.

And then my mum made me invite everyone in the class, which was just, it's just, it's automatically just very embarrassing.

Yeah.

Because you've got to get on a train.

And by the time you've got there, you know, you've spent two hours on a train with 23 people that don't like you very much.

Oh, yeah.

And then you get to Southend and Sea and it's raining and no one's been to essex before yeah you know so you've got to introduce yourself

welcome to essex yeah yeah yeah and you know i'm now picturing myself like a sort of a nine-year-old essex tour guide yeah uh and then um and then you say try these donuts uh but the donuts were hit maybe that's why i want the donuts because it's a happy memory because all the kids were cool because all the kids were like yeah she's really cool do they have anything on them these donuts what sugary Sugary donuts.

Are they fresh?

Yeah.

Yeah, 12 little ones in like a bag.

They're just like, it's nostalgic.

And it's, and it's, I guess, like the sugar high combined with the, with the roller coasters, it's just like, it's a good time.

It's a good day.

And then, you know, you eat as many as you can.

You feel really sick.

Again, that's part of the South and on Sea experience.

It's feeling sick on the roller coaster.

And they're hot.

I said that already.

Sugary.

Did I say that?

Yep.

Lots of sugar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We know that they're sugary.

Do they come with like a sauce or anything, or are they just plain, the little hot?

Actually, I don't think so.

I'm not really much of a sauce girl.

I don't really, I never like the sauce.

I like my crumble plain.

I don't like really ice cream or custard or anything on the crumble.

Is that red flag?

You look at me like that.

No, no, it's a red flag.

I think it's interesting, but you know.

Both of your voices went very high when you said that.

You're betraying yourselves.

No, it's fine.

It's fine.

I really try to get out my net.

Yeah, that was

quite disappointing.

Well, look,

I was more like, oh, why have we jumped to crumble straight away?

Oh, right.

You know, it was like,

I think it was to illustrate that you're not a sauce girl.

To illustrate that.

Yeah.

Fair enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want to

have a guess at who I'm thinking of?

Because otherwise the listener's going to be like, why did that gamer guess who just never...

Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah.

So do you want to ask me one of your famous questions?

I think you should ask me.

Okay.

Got it.

You've got you.

So you're thinking about one of these two.

Never try and game the gamer.

Okay, so you're thinking of one of these two.

The gamey has become.

Yeah, I'm thinking of one of the people in in this room, but it could also be you.

Okay.

Right?

One of the three people, not including me.

Ask a question.

Huh?

Ask a question.

Yes.

Ask a question.

When they were a little boy, did they frequently eat a dish called the picker's basket?

None of you have got very...

Oh no, maybe you've all got very good poker faces.

Is it Ben?

Are you Ben?

Hold on.

I'm going purely off the poker face.

Because of you.

I'm going purely off.

I'm going purely off the bogus.

What do you mean, what is this game?

You're thinking of one of us, but you're...

No, you're thinking of someone.

Oh, no, I'm thinking of someone.

You're thinking of someone.

And I'm asking you, based on your rules.

Yeah.

Wait, no, no, no.

So Ella doesn't know.

No, no, no.

We've got the game wrong.

Well, Ella flipped it.

I've got to think of someone.

I know more about you guys.

But then...

Hang on a minute.

Why have you asked me a question?

Because that's how Guess Who works.

No, it is.

You told me to.

No, but then...

So true.

Also, this is very hard games.

I don't know you guys.

We've just met.

Do you know anything about you?

Okay, okay.

I do wonder whether you know anything about the people on guess who.

I guess not.

Yeah.

But it can't be a background question.

It has to be a vibe question.

Okay.

Do they look like

if they picked up

a bowl full of cereal, their little wrists would snap?

Yes.

Is it Ben?

No.

Is it me?

Yes.

I never knew that by wrist.

I can't believe you just asked me a question then and I guessed the person.

I've so grossly misunderstood the concept of guessing.

I quite like it.

I quite like this game.

This is good.

It's good in person.

It's a good in-person game.

You don't need to pause it, actually.

Delighted to be last on the list of people whose wrists would snap if they picked up a bowl of cereal.

I mean,

they would snap if I picked up.

If you picked up a bowl of cereal, that's how it was.

Also, it's quite hard is that you have to not look at the person to check their wrists.

I mean, I didn't walk in here and immediately look at everyone's wrists.

So I had to...

So so I actually only picked you because you were the only person whose wrists I could see in my peripheral vision.

So you couldn't see Ben's.

Well, I didn't want to go like that because you were looking at me and you would have seen me go like that.

Yeah.

Moving my eyes.

I thought you would have made a wrist list.

A wrist list?

No.

Well,

I've walked in here, I've gone on my phone and gone, best wrists.

From

one to three.

Weren't you already meant to be thinking of someone?

So you should have already been thinking of me.

No.

So then when I asked you that question.

Usually I've got a board in front of me.

I've never done it like this.

And I sort of had to do a little bit of mental gymnastics to get there.

And then now I understand the concept of of the game and now I'm and now I'd like to play again.

Okay.

Well now I'm thinking of someone.

And I've got to ask questions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, but this is mean.

No.

Because I don't know you.

You can't hurt their feelings, these guys.

Or mine.

I'm thinking of one of you three.

So wait, I now hang on.

I've got to do the mental gymnastics again.

You're thinking of someone.

Yeah.

See, now you're getting annoyed, but you were the one who tried to get me.

No, I know, but this is the problem with games.

I am very competitive and I'm annoyed at myself because I haven't immediately grasped the rules of the game that I came up with.

Yes.

You see what I mean?

Yeah.

I'm getting very annoyed.

I'm thinking of someone in this room.

I'm thinking of someone in this room, and you have to ask me.

I have to guess who you're thinking of.

Yeah, and it has to apply to their vibe.

Yeah.

Or your imagined history of them.

Oh, yeah, true.

Is your person

look like they could be like, are they like a live-action animator?

Do they look like they're an animated cartoon character?

Do they look like they're the face of a cartoon?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Just having a look.

Just look straight at me, by the way.

No, I'm allowed to

move my mind.

Move my mouth.

I'm just allowed to look at everyone.

I haven't looked at everyone, so I'm really taking a bunch of different people.

It's funny, because actually now everyone looks a bit animated.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you look like

you could be like a like a Scottish white walker from Game of Thrones?

Wow.

I have not seen Game of Thrones, but I'm going to say yes.

Are you Ben?

Yes.

You don't look like a white walker by the way.

It's just because you've got blue eyes.

It was the only thing I could think of.

You could be.

It's literally just the blue eyes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also, I don't know where Scottish came from.

I think it's because you've got a a bit of stubble.

And in my head,

in my head, that's like stubble equals Scottish.

I don't know why.

It's a weird connotation.

It's weird.

So you're learning about yourself in this game as well.

Yeah.

Good game.

Yeah, unfortunately.

I'm not learning good things about myself.

This is how we like to come towards the end of the podcast.

We feel like we've been talking for 100 years.

That's what we like.

We like people to feel like it's been 100 years and for them to go.

At the end of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I've had a great chat.

This has been really fun.

Do you want to play another round before Regina?

You make it.

Yeah, go on.

But I feel like, should we let someone else have a go?

Yeah, Ed, think of someone.

Okay.

Do you want to ask Ed?

All of us should ask questions.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you're not allowed to speak.

Me and you can take turns asking Ed a question.

Okay.

Do you want to go first?

Should I go first?

There we go.

There's the sound again.

Do you...

That's my thinking sound.

Do you look like you were

bullied as a child?

I mean...

Do you mean all my questions are really mean, and I can't.

No, it's fine, but bearing in mind that what you're trying to narrow this down to is between the three of us.

You were not narrowing it down, very.

I mean, can I

get rid of that question?

I'm not trying to force people to come to your birthday in South End.

I know.

It's literally no wonder I had no friends.

I was actually just a bully.

I was a bully.

I wasn't a bully, but I was the bully.

No one wanted to hang out with me.

I was so mean.

You can throw that question out, sir.

I'm going to throw that question out.

Can you go?

I'm panicking a bit.

Yeah.

Did the person you're thinking of once shit themselves and then puke all over over their date?

Yes.

Is it Ella?

Yes.

Read your menu back to you now.

Uh see how you feel about it.

You would like tap water.

Popped on some bread.

You want warm sourdough with marmite butter from Heaney's in Cardiff.

Starter you would like pork soup dumplings from Joe Shanghai.

Joe Shanghai.

In New York.

Main course you want the spy kids burger, but like from how you remember it.

Side dish, you want a concept of salad and cheap supermarket prawn crackers.

Drink, diet coke, and dessert, donuts from Adventure Island in Southend on Sea.

Yeah, that sounds like a lovely menu.

Yeah, happy with that?

Yeah, I haven't even talked about you and all your mates eating each other on the island.

So the food podcast was...

We just talked about a bunch of school kids going to Adventure Island.

We might need to just

clarify that that's not what you're referring to, question mark?

No, not the phones that I'm referring to, you and your friends all eight

with the plane.

Yellow jackets.

Yes, yeah.

The TV show.

i'd say lead with yellow jackets tv show

uh acting you're buried in the headline there yeah yeah they all ate each other you and all your friends ate each other on an island we've never had adventure island when you took all your friends to adventure island you gave them the doughnuts and then you ate them all yeah you ate them all only one child returned back to london that day

and happy birthday me

um yeah yellow jackets that's messed up that is really never had anyone on the podcast before who's been that heavily involved in cannibalism and this is a food podcast i know it's It's a bit of a thing.

I'm going to get a reputation because it's happened in two shows I've done, that one and Fallout.

Yeah, people are starting to talk.

It's not good.

But it's always in a situation where it gets a bit desperate, right?

I'd hope so.

It's never like, you've never been in a show where you're like, ooh, I'm hungry.

I'll just eat a.

No.

Well, in Fallout,

I don't eat anyone, but the ghoul does eat other ghouls, sometimes humans.

I think, actually, I don't think he does eat humans.

He makes ass jerky out of another ghoul's bum.

Yeah.

Obviously.

Wouldn't make it out of his elbow, would he?

Silly.

Well, if you don't know your ass from your elbow, wow.

Best in the biz.

He's the best in the biz.

Quick question before we go then.

You've got to eat another actor who you've worked with in the past.

Yeah.

Just who's it going to be?

It has to be someone you've worked with.

That's a really good question.

Because are you going to go for, like, what are the circles?

What's the context?

What's the circumstances?

I've got to eat them because I'm desperate because I'm very, very hungry.

Or you've got a gun to my head and you're like, you've got to eat them now, but I'm not that hungry.

How hungry am I?

You're very, very hungry.

I'm very, very hungry.

Am I starving?

Am I on like, is it a yellow jacket?

It's a yellow jacket situation.

So I want someone with like big muscles, right?

Because then that's like more protein, probably.

Yeah.

Right.

Who's the most muscular actor I've worked with?

The guy that I threw up on was pretty muscly.

He's not an actor that I work with.

I mean, yeah, but

here's someone that I know that that's that's got muscles.

I'd probably eat him.

Oh, Aaron, Aaron from Fallout.

He's been working out a bit lately.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll eat him.

What's his surname?

Moten, Aaron Moten.

Aaron Moten, you're getting eaten.

Yeah.

Sorry, Aaron.

He's a lovely guy.

It's a compliment.

You just said he's muscly.

Yeah.

I did, actually.

We're working out.

Yeah, I forget that that's a compliment.

But much to his detriment, now he's getting eaten.

The more you work out, the more likely you are to be eaten.

That's the mole of the podcast.

Wow.

Didn't expect it to end like that, but thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Ellie.

There we are.

Wow.

What a nap.

Wow.

What an app, what a chat.

Twishing turns.

She's so much fun.

I loved that.

Yeah.

I mean,

it's nice to have the memory of a food on the menu, especially when, but it was sad to show her that it wasn't what she remembered it.

But that's memory for you.

It was sad, though,

to put someone through that.

Yeah.

Hopefully she can forget about that and go back to her original memory.

Which is like the platonic ideal of a burger from Spy Kids.

Yeah, yeah.

Hopefully.

That is her true meal.

Yeah.

Didn't say Nuca-Cola, though.

Said Diet Coke went with the traditional Diet Coke rather than Nuca-Cola.

We could have pushed it.

Yeah.

So the listeners might have a go at us for that.

We got sidetracked with the...

the vomit story and that.

And Benito did say to us, maybe talk more about Diet Coke.

And maybe that's where he was heading.

He wanted to know.

But that's unfair, I think, to push people into the secret ingredient, I think, is unfair.

I think it's unfair.

But maybe people were like, well, you didn't get a brand.

What if she meant Diet Nuca-Cola?

She said Diet Coke, which is the brand, right?

Right, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I think,

I think we've got to accept that.

But also, then we wouldn't have heard about the doughnuts.

Exactly.

Wouldn't have heard about those lovely doughnuts and we wouldn't be able to say, watch sweet pea, everyone.

It's on Sky.

Yes, watch Sweet Pea.

It's on Sky.

And now it comes out on October 10th.

That is tomorrow if you're listening to this on the day that it's released.

But otherwise, it is out now on now and sky.

I'm going to watch it.

I'm excited.

I'm going to watch it.

I'm excited.

I am currently on tour doing my show Hot Diggity Dog until the end of November.

Come along.

Going to loads of different places.

If you live in London, I'm doing the London Palladium on November 23rd.

I'm also in Manchester, what, Salford, next year, January 19th and 20th, at the Salford Lowry.

filming some shows.

That's exciting.

Filming the shows.

So come along.

Not much news over here.

I guess I mean, I'm going to go home and try and lift a bowl of cereal just to prove some people wrong.

But that's about it.

Yeah.

Thank you for listening to the Off Menu podcast.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze.

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Hello, I'm I'm Carrie Add.

I'm Sarah, and we are the Weirdos Book Club podcast.

We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival.

The date is Thursday, 11th of September, the time is 7pm, and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies.

Tickets from kingsplace.co.uk.

Single ladies is coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September.

At the London Podcast Festival.

The rumours are true.

Saturday, the 13th of September.

At King's Place.

Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet.