Ep 264: Rukmini Iyer

Transcript

Speaker 1 Oh no, it's James A Caster from the Off Menu Podcast, the podcast that you are listening to, and I have some news. I am going on tour round America, North America,

Speaker 1 from the 20th of January, starting in Toronto, and then finishing once again in Canada, in Vancouver, on the 15th of February. And in between, I'm going all over the place.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Off-Menu podcast, taking the crisp bacon of conversation, putting it on the buttered bread of the internet, adding the tomato ketchup of great times, and then why not?

Speaker 1 A fried egg of humour, James.

Speaker 1 That is Ed Gamble. My name is Ed Gam Gamble.
Ed's going to cut my cough, so you're going to sound incredibly weird. No, he won't cut your cough.
He will. It's disgusting.

Speaker 1 I think that we cut coughs on this podcast. Yeah, so my cough's been cut out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yours will still be in. Mima's fake for the listeners.
Yeah, you sound crazy. That is Ed Gamble.
My name is James A. Kessler.
I'm crazy. And this is the Off-Menu Podcast.

Speaker 1 We own a dream restaurant every single week. We're inviting a guest.
We ask my favourite ever starter maids, dessert, side dish, and drink, not in that order.

Speaker 1 And this week, our guest is Rook Mini Aya, the author of the Roasting Tin series of cookbooks, which are hugely popular. Very popular.
Some fantastic recipes. Anne Gamble, my mum, big fan.
And

Speaker 1 Ben is a big fan, I think you said. The Great Bonito.
Sorry, for the listener, The Great Bonito. Yes.

Speaker 1 But a new book is out. The Green Cookbook.
Easy Vegan and Vegetarian Dinners. I'm already excited.
We've been sent a copy of it. I've been having a look through it.
I can't wait, James. It's out now.

Speaker 1 So definitely get on that and get the Rosting Tin books if you haven't had them. Yes, do.
And it's always fun having a chef on as well, James. It is.

Speaker 1 It's nice to have a chef on, different perspective on food, which you'd think that we'd have mainly chefs on. But like idiots, we have mainly comedians.
And idiots. And idiots.

Speaker 1 And it's nice to get someone who really knows their onions. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 1 But if Rookminnie says a secret ingredient, which we have pre-agreed upon, we will unfortunately have to ask her to leave the restaurant, which would be embarrassing because I'm sure she's got plenty of interesting stuff to say.

Speaker 1 Yes, if we kick a chef out, it's egg on our face. It's egg on our face.
Literally.

Speaker 1 And the secret ingredient this week is beef jerky. I don't know if it's going to come up.
You know, we're going to be chatting about Rook Minnie's vegan and vegetarian cookbook. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It would seem weird if beef jerky came up, but beef jerky is an acquired taste, James. It's an acquired taste.
I think we both like it. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1 I don't really like the...

Speaker 1 Some of the stuff you buy in the supermarket can be a bit gelatinous to me oh it has to be a good beef jerky yes I can't just grab anything off the shelf yeah like it has to be something people say have you tried this it's great yeah it comes recommended I'll have the beef jerky but I'm not just grabbing it willy-nilly no you're not grabbing beef willy-nilly are you I'm not grabbing beef willy-nilly but I think that we can only really chuck a chef out with a clear conscience if they're promoting a green cookbook and they chose beef jerky yes then we at least feel like we've got some solid ground to stand on beef jerky's not appeared on any menus so far, as far as I'm aware.

Speaker 1 No, it hasn't. I think maybe we've had Bill Tong once.
Maybe. Yeah, Bill Tong has come up.
Similar thing. Similar sort of thing, yeah, dried beef.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, look, I'm not sure she's going to pick it, but if she does, we are correct to kick her out. Yeah, I think we'll feel all right about that.
So let's find out.

Speaker 1 This is the off-menu menu of Rook Mini. Mini Aya.

Speaker 1 Welcome, Rook Mini, to the Dream Restaurants. Thank you very much for having me.
Welcome, Rookmini, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time.

Speaker 1 Big one today. Really? Happy response.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Happy reaction to it. Yeah, no, no, no.
I'm happy to be out of the house. I don't get out much, so this is really good.

Speaker 1 That's it. We rarely get that response to a genie, which is

Speaker 1 happy to be out of the house.

Speaker 1 Like that's, you know, not the magic of the genie, not the excitement to see a genie, just happy to be anywhere. Anywhere.
Anyway, it's not the four walls of my husband. Happy to be at the lamps.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good. You're the same.
Yeah, I just got out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's been a while since the last episode. I've been sleeping here, a small room.
Yeah, if I knew what the last episode was, because

Speaker 1 we record these randomly. But if I knew what the last episode that went out was, I could say, like, you know, I haven't seen anyone since that person.
Insert here. But, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Ben, will you edit? No, okay.

Speaker 1 You won't put it in. No, you won't edit in the name.

Speaker 1 That's what my life must be like, actually. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I just like come up the lamp and I see a celeb and then I'll go back in the lamp and then I'm out again and it's just like a mad existence. Sort of what your life is in real life.
That's true.

Speaker 1 You're just in your house and then you come here. You meet, I guess, and then you go home again.
That is true. I don't really do much besides that.
And you say you don't get out of the house much.

Speaker 1 Why? What's

Speaker 1 going on? Well,

Speaker 1 I feel like I do. It's just, I go to nursery and back.
That's it. That's a highlight of the day.
Walk the dog to the nursery, drop the child, come back. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 You go to the nursery to take a child there. Oh, yeah.
I don't just go randomly. When you said it initially, you're like, as if you attend nurse.
Yes. That's how it's.
I mean, it's tempting.

Speaker 1 There's a hand painting. There's snacks every two hours.

Speaker 1 One-on-one attention with like a nice person. So, I mean,

Speaker 1 not quite one-on-one. Yeah.
One to four, one-to-five. But, yeah.
It seems like a great environment. I would stay, actually.
What snacks are they having every two hours?

Speaker 1 Nice stuff, like watermelon breadsticks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like good stuff for snacks. I feel like breadsticks really drop off after the age of six.
Like, you get way more breadsticks and rusks. Crisp things.
Yeah. I guess they're low salt.

Speaker 1 But I have a soft spot. You know, you're on holiday in Europe and you sit at a table and you have some like bone-dry breadsticks in the middle of the table.
It's like, yeah, I'll have them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you want some seasoning on them. You want the casing? Yeah, a little paper casing.

Speaker 1 Paper casing. I want something on them, though.
I want there to be some like seasoning on there. No, I'm not even a dip.
Yeah, maybe, but like, I want there to be like some salt or some

Speaker 1 like little

Speaker 1 seeds or something.

Speaker 1 Something on there. Yeah, yeah.
Don't just give me the bone-dry. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I'll take it for the top. Yeah, yeah.
They're doing that to make you drink more, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, dry. That must be it.
But then you need more salt, don't you? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Salt there than what you drink. Oldest trick in in the book.
I fall for it every time. Yes, me too.
Yeah. Eat all the breadsticks, more beer, please.
Have a free olive. That's it, olives.

Speaker 1 It's all a trick, isn't it? It's a massive trick. Wait if they had those for snacks at the nursery.

Speaker 1 A lot of the kids do seem to eat olives.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my daughter and a little friends. I was like, you're literally two and a half.
Why are you nailing all the olives? Wow. Yeah, I know.
It's sophisticated taste.

Speaker 1 Because olives used to be like the mark of growing up, right? Yes. Enjoy it the first time you enjoy an olive, but now...
No more, no more. These kids.
Evolution, man. I know.

Speaker 1 She still enjoys buttered pasta though, so I'm not completely sure. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 do you think it's the next step in evolution is that children

Speaker 1 with olives yeah they'll be uh like you can have some anchovies with that please

Speaker 1 yeah odd man are there any like foods that your kids have that or that your kids won't eat um it really varies from day to day my eldest is having like she's been on mushrooms that not you know the exciting kind just like the regular chestnut button button mushrooms chestnut mushrooms and like she just wants those and you try and give her like no nice mushroom linguine or something she's like just the mushrooms and then she sort of just stabs and eats the mushrooms so at least it's vitamin d right yeah although do you have to leave them out in the sun to make them vitamin d mushrooms yeah i'm not sure i don't know

Speaker 1 what i feel like i've had some of the sun yes but only if you like left them on a sunny windowsill for like a little while okay but i don't know how true that is shouldn't be offering medical advice on a podcast that feels like a risk as well leaving just leaving mushrooms yeah because when they go off they're really really bad so i don't know this should come with a disclaimer i don't know yeah well sometimes benito googles facts and this will be the earliest he's had to google anything it's true he's already he's already done it wow amazing it's already done it's thank you very much it says uh exposing mushrooms to uv lights whether by design or unintentionally causes measurable increases in the vitamin d2 content now i don't know if they needed to specify whether by design or unintentionally because obviously well i guess mushrooms like dark places but if you were worried about that you could put a uv sad lamp in your fridge yeah that's good and then

Speaker 1 during winter, every time you open the fridge, cheer you up a bit. Exactly.
And then some tasty vitamin D mushrooms on top of it. Why not? I think we should market this.

Speaker 1 Does it work if you leave a mushroom pizza out, do you reckon? No. Just leave that out in the sun.
That's disgusting. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He's asking because he's left a mushroom pizza out. He's just remembering.

Speaker 1 I've left it on the windowsill. I hope a cheeky little fat boy from the beaver doesn't grab it.
It's probably a fox. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about the green cookbooks, your new vegan and vegetarian dinners cookbooks. Very exciting.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 When you start working on this, because these kind of things take ages, right?

Speaker 1 Well, actually, my publisher has a big stick, and they've kind of been like, you will publish a book a year for the last sort of six or seven years. Want us to step in? Yeah, that'll be great.

Speaker 1 Do you have another stick? You can just have a stick fight in the middle of the office. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's breadstick fight.
Seasoned with loads of salt.

Speaker 1 You can't bring a breadstick to a stick fight.

Speaker 1 You're in big trouble.

Speaker 1 Unless they've just had a beer. Yeah.
They're like, that looks good. Maybe like a bamboo cane from the garden.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, fucking.
You'd tear someone up with that.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 the tomatoes might suffer. If you still got the tomatoes wrapped around it.
Yeah. Yeah.
The tasty snack again.

Speaker 1 But then they would still confused in the fight. They'd be like, I'm bleeding.

Speaker 1 You splat everywhere. Yeah, you splattered everywhere.
It took a dark turn, didn't it? No, no, no.

Speaker 1 We can get darker, I think.

Speaker 1 We're just getting started.

Speaker 1 We're going to talk about a cookbook. We talked about a stick fight.
Pretty early doors, there. Cookbook, yes.
Well, it's not in a roasting tin.

Speaker 1 So all of my previous books were pretty much more or less uh roasting tin books and that's really great because it's so hands-free you know you want something really nice to eat and you do not want to be standing and cooking in front of a hot stove i mean i love cooking you guys love cooking but it's seven o'clock and you came home you've had a long day and you just want something really tasty without all of the standing so the the the tin books were to fill that that space like what can i chop it chuck it in have something delicious uh and this feels like a progression because i've still got lots of one pots and one tins, which means less washing up, which is actually goes down really well with the dad/slash bloke market because they're like, Yes, no, washing up at the end.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 but you can be even quicker and more efficient if you're using the hob sometimes. So, like, one of my favorite chapters is uh, quick cook, quick carb.

Speaker 1 So, your carb takes as long to cook as your sauce. Oh, that's good.
And the best one, I think, should I give a best onion? People always ask me the cookbook, like, what's your favorite?

Speaker 1 And it's like, well, they'll just just have that. Never mind the rest of the book, but the rest of the book is also good.
Uh, it's the miso butter noodles with um tomatoes and spring onions.

Speaker 1 And it literally just takes minutes to put together.

Speaker 1 Any old miso base will do like white, red, what have you got? Spring onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, five minutes in a pan, miso paste, splash of rice, wine, vinegar.

Speaker 1 And then you just stir through those ready to cook udo noodles. And it's amazing.
Actually, my daughter does eat that. Great.
What would you like for dinner? Miso noodles.

Speaker 1 That sounds so good. It's really good.
The problem is I would do that for the first time and go, this is absolutely delicious. Then I have a jar of miso sat there.

Speaker 1 And then I'm doing that every night for a week. Oh, yeah.
We get through the misos.

Speaker 1 Every single night.

Speaker 1 Every week we have that.

Speaker 1 It's really nice. And then obviously, if you want to protein it up, you could like add a bit of tofu and stuff, but it's just a really nice, I want dinner in 10 minutes.
I have no patience. It's 7.30.

Speaker 1 For a book like this, how many of the recipes are stuff that like you've already been making with your family? And how many are ones that you've got, okay, I've got to do a cookbook.

Speaker 1 So now I've got to think of some more recipes. This one's been a nice one because it's been more organic.

Speaker 1 This has been things that I've i've just cooked at home more it's worked and then if i remember to write it down or at least write down the headline of what it is my recipe titles are always quite long miso button noodles with spring onions and tomatoes because i want you to know what it is that is the recipe um but i like that headline

Speaker 1 you know you know like if you were at a restaurant and they were just like noodles well i don't know i don't know what it is and the fancy of the restaurant they're like egg ham green i was like well i still don't really like that yeah i'm guessing there's a fancy the fancy more hipster restaurants are just.

Speaker 1 Fewer words. Yeah, fewer words.

Speaker 1 No capitals at the beginning of the word. Oh, yes, that's very fancy.
Yeah. Noodles, 12.
The price will just have the end of the story.

Speaker 1 12 what? Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, my God. 12 tears? 12 noodles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those guys. So I like it to be very obvious.
I love the food when it comes.

Speaker 1 I don't like looking at the menu. You don't look at the bill at the end, actually.

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm rich.

Speaker 1 This podcast has made looking at the bill very easy.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to deny it. All the chefs go, you don't have to pay for that.
Yeah. Mention us on the podcast.
Okay, suckers. See you later.

Speaker 1 See you later, you absolute suckers. That's what I say.
Nice. I'll say it to their face.

Speaker 1 I like washing up. I think next you should do a book for men who like washing up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the really complicated book of stuff that's going to take you all night to make and give you a ton of washing up. Well, it's basically any chef book, isn't it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it is. I i always have a go at tom carriage yeah read one of his books you need a blast chiller to do half the recipes yeah

Speaker 1 his books are rubbish

Speaker 1 his rubbish cook

Speaker 1 yeah yeah if you are going to do a cookbook for men who like washing up Ed could be in all the photos and you would shift a lot of copies. Man washing up.

Speaker 1 Oh, a lot of ladies would love. Yes.
Would they? A series of pictures of Ed washing up. Covered in suds.

Speaker 1 Elbow deep in suds.

Speaker 1 Nice little pinny on

Speaker 1 just smiling at the canvas. Sounds like you're giving a lot of thought to this.
That'd be flying off the shelves. Is that selling on your website? Yeah, yeah.
Well, it would do.

Speaker 1 Ben's writing it down as an idea. What are we going to do, actually? Huh? You should do it.
We're going to do a calendar. You can do it with the dogs that come in.

Speaker 1 So either you go down the suds route or you go down the dogs that guess the broader. Yeah, we were listing some of the dogs beforehand that have come in here.

Speaker 1 And there's quite a few people who bought their pets in. Yeah.
And we can,

Speaker 1 oh, toast, of course. It's like

Speaker 1 the cover.

Speaker 1 Well, we always start with still or sparkling water. Yes.
Do you have a preference? I do. It is sparkling.
I mean, I definitely thought that sparkling was totally grim for about 35 years of my life.

Speaker 1 And then I went on this spa day with my young sister, who's much more sensible than me, and I was sitting down and have a nice spa day. And I was like, all right, wine plant.

Speaker 1 And she, in the nicest possible way, was like, well, you know, if you order sparkling water, you don't have to have wine every lunchtime. And I was like,

Speaker 1 okay, yeah, yeah, let's try it.

Speaker 1 And actually, she's right, because it does fill a spot when when you're like, oh, I kind of want something that tastes of something, but maybe I don't actually want wine every lunchtime. And

Speaker 1 I absolutely love how sibling that is as well. Just the most passive-aggressive way of doing it.
So yeah, ever so slightly, yeah. She's, she's, she's, it's

Speaker 1 like that. You can have that one.
But we've been talking on the WhatsApp group, actually.

Speaker 1 The one that you're not in. And you do have wine every lunch.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. She is a lush.

Speaker 1 No, so yeah, it's since then I think sparkling water hits that, hits that spot. And in lockdown, I had a real Sam Pallerino habit.

Speaker 1 A bottle a day.

Speaker 1 it was yeah it was a lot uh didn't have to be a dentist obviously which is great as well um but yes i do i think of all the of all the habits you could have picked up in lockdown having a bottle of san pellegrino a day is fine yeah i know quite a few people who yeah that was not their habit

Speaker 1 gotta find something to fill your day yeah i mean do you find though there are certain things that like now they just remind me of lockdown and even though i actually had quite a nice little lockdown, but I still don't like being reminded of it.

Speaker 1 Like, I still feel weird when I walk down certain streets streets and you go, oh, this is where I used to walk every single day. And I don't like it.
It reminds me of lockdown. It feels weird.

Speaker 1 I think Aperol Spritzes probably do. Apparol Spritz.
Yeah, my friend and I,

Speaker 1 we get a big, like a nice cool box. Yeah.
Jam jars, like bon mama jam jars, because you don't want to drink out of a plastic cup, but I can't be asked breaking glassware. Bon mama hits the spot.

Speaker 1 And we just sit in the park and like make up Apparol Spritzes with ice and everything. And it was great.
It's nice. But

Speaker 1 not really done it since. Like maybe over Apparol Spritz.
Like you have too much much malbrasau in your blanc in your 20s, and you're like, no, don't worry. I had too much trezo broccoli pasta.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I heard about that. Yeah, now I can't eat it.
But what do you do with the head of the broccoli now? I found more things. I thought we've got to figure out.

Speaker 1 There's some recipes here that you could use. In the green cookbook,

Speaker 1 there's a really good broccoli pesto you can do

Speaker 1 to go through. So you just like stick it in your maggi, a bit of garlic, like a bit of salt, and you use that instead of your basil, and it's cheaper kind of than using that much.

Speaker 1 Who has a broccoli amount size of basil? No one.

Speaker 1 Great, because I could make my own pesto with the with a head well it's just really quick and you can cook it while your pasta cooks and it's super tasty this is a huge moment on the podcast for ages we've been asking what do we do with the heads

Speaker 1 we're gonna make the broccoli pesto make broccoli pesto

Speaker 1 it doesn't actually taste very broccoli no like it just tastes delicious and green and like really fresh and uh and you don't you're not cooking it but because you blend it it goes really bright green

Speaker 1 yeah it's really it's really tasty um pop some nuts on as long as no one's got a nut nut allergy pine nuts uh probably pine nuts but you know anything will do i know a lot of recipes for pesto are like oh it's going to be pine nuts like mate once it's blended you literally cannot tell um you could be fancy walnuts are rude i like walnuts

Speaker 1 yeah i think that one actually it might be a broccoli walnut but you know my book

Speaker 1 yeah there you go it might be and if you're feeling particularly like flexing uh you could always use pistachios i've got a bunch of pistachios in the cupboard pistachio flexi doing absolutely nothing but can the recipe be too green well No, it can't.

Speaker 1 No, it can't. I mean, they're good for you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Greens are great for you and tasty.

Speaker 1 Actually, if you wanted to use up your pistachios, I could recommend a pistachio and spring onion pesto that's in the book as well, which you do with marinated butter beans.

Speaker 1 And it's in the cooking for your friends section, like easy sharing platters, but it takes 10 minutes to put together.

Speaker 1 So you just warm up some jarred butter beans, ideally jarred because they're so tasty, with a bit of lemon zest, a bit of coriander seeds, warm them through with some nice cherry tomatoes.

Speaker 1 And while that's warming in a pan for like five, six minutes, you just blitz up the spring onions, pistachios, like bit of oil, a bit of lemon, a few more coriander seeds, and blob it on top.

Speaker 1 and it looks so pretty and it tastes like you spent ages cooking and you're like it literally took me 10 minutes i should do it it's really good for two years i've had a bag of pistachios in the cupboard okay well maybe you get some new pistachios

Speaker 1 my dad gave it to us as a housewarming present that's a really good housewarming present it's odd though isn't it it's odd but nice it's odd but nice He just came to visit on his own.

Speaker 1 It's what happens when he visits without mum. I brought you some pistachios.
Yeah, when he comes on his own, she was away. I can't remember why.
We just moved into the house.

Speaker 1 He comes over. Lovely man.
Very fun. He knew I should bring them something as a house for me.
Yes, I must bring. A bag of pistachios.
He went. Wait, are they still in the shells? Yeah.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 That's a hassle. Yeah, that's a hassle.
And my partner's allergic to nuts, but thanks to me.

Speaker 1 Is he telling you something? Yeah, I don't know what.

Speaker 1 Me and you should move in here. Back to the pack.

Speaker 1 A couple of boys are bags of nuts.

Speaker 1 Crack open these. Yeah.
But they do remind me of my dad anyway, pistachios, because he used to to eat them in front of the

Speaker 1 football or whatever, or the cricket. Leaving a trail of shells.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Barefoot. I remember that as well.
He'd be barefoot while he was eating them. Was he using his feet to crack the nuts open? Yeah.
Is your dad a big monkey? Yeah, he's a big monkey.

Speaker 1 Poploms or bread. Poploes or bread, Vacidia.
Poploves or bread. It's definitely bread.
I hate poppadoms. They're grim.
Hate them?

Speaker 1 Rare to get hatred for one of them.

Speaker 1 I really hate them. They're so nothing.
It's like biting into just,

Speaker 1 it doesn't taste of anything. It was your, you wanted a flavoured breadstick.
I don't want a flavoured popadom. I just don't want a poppadom.
They're just, they're just no, very, very tough.

Speaker 1 They can go in the big bread. So what do you, what are you doing then? Because obviously you're saying you love, you love a breadstick at the beginning of the meal.
It's nice to, you know,

Speaker 1 get going with it if it's there. If it's there.
But when the poppadoms are there and there's no other food knocking around, are you dipping into the poppadum?

Speaker 1 I'm going to say, I'm going to avoid the curry house as well. Are you? Just completely.
I'm good, yes. If the poppadom's there, it's like, God, I know I'm in here now.

Speaker 1 And now I'm going to have to eat a restaurant curry.

Speaker 1 And you probably get this with any like Indian uh heritage chef who comes on, but you know, restaurant curry is just like not what you eat at home, it's always like one sauce, it's very gloopy.

Speaker 1 Like, my entire life, my friends, oh, should we go and get a curry? And it's like, absolutely fucking not, yeah. Um, or if we have to, then I just uh, you know, sadly disappointed the entire meal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, um, and I don't drink beer either, and I think that goes well with a curry. You can see that they go together, and the whole ritual of it, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Poppadom's like they will herald like a poor evening's dining for me. So that's probably why.
Whereas bread, on the other hand, is great. And then you get to have all the butter.

Speaker 1 And again, I kind of keep on thinking about European holidays, probably because I'm so desperate to get out of the house and maybe the country on holiday.

Speaker 1 But you go on holiday with your mates when you're a teenager and you sit down and they bring the bread. And then everyone's like, oh, there's a really nice extra virgin olive oil.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, no, butter,

Speaker 1 British butter. Yeah, I don't want my bread to kind of taste of, you know, like kind of olive oil grassy notes.

Speaker 1 You know, I was like, I don't want my bread to taste like grass i just want it to taste like butter please ideally salted yeah i'm all i'm always butter over olive oil but yeah if if there is nice olive oil i would still think you know no is it the and the really green olive oil as well are you against against i'm not against it i think i don't i don't have a specific yeah i know just

Speaker 1 i don't not grass i'm not like a cat um i don't i don't think i'd want to add it on i i get i get putting it in a salad dressing but my palate is not sophisticated enough let's put it i I don't know that's a reason at all.

Speaker 1 I like being sort of like, like smacked around the face with that flavor, but not kind of, it's not grass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Any particular type of bread you'd like with the salted butter? I'd like two different kinds of bread, please.

Speaker 1 So one of them, like something like a really nice pan de pie, like a kind of really crusty French, you know that baguette? like French baguette, but it's like it's done like an ear of wheat.

Speaker 1 So it's super like fluffy on the inside, like really nice and crisp on the outside.

Speaker 1 And I think I made it maybe at cookery school and and i was just like this is great i haven't made it since but you can you can kind of get it out especially in a bread basket in a magic restaurant that's the thing with bread isn't it yeah is you can make it but you can you can get it yeah i'm not i'm not a bread maker so i would always rather someone else make it you can get it from a shop

Speaker 1 revolutionary yeah so so no not a salad more that on a fluffy bread and then moving around the world you know singapore chili crab when you order it you get these little fluffy cube buns with it and they they're like really soft on the inside like a bit like a brioche and they're and they maybe have been deep fried but they're not crisp on the outside they're still really soft and a little bit sweet yeah

Speaker 1 no so

Speaker 1 i think unfortunately crab is like really saucy right yeah it's like red sauce and bits of crab and you you know they they put a bib on you and a bib on the table because it's so yeah it's just so extra and messy and you get these little buns to mop up the sauce um but i could leave the crab for you guys and i could just have a bucket of that of that you know have the crab we've got some crab i'll take the crab i brought i brought crab to a restaurant i told you this podcast would come in handy one day yeah

Speaker 1 we've got free crab and bibs

Speaker 1 and some bibs and bibs well crab's just a bit it's a bit of effort you know when you have to with the with the cracking and the claws i'd rather just sit maybe and eat the bread and then the crab can just again i don't mind the effort i think it goes back to the washing up thing

Speaker 1 you really are the max effort yeah but like with me me and my wife love like shellfish where you're like cracking into all of the stuff like like it was her birthday yesterday so all she wanted to do was go and eat a pint of prawns fair well you and pull them out of their yeah yeah their eyes and stuff as well no see i'm sucking the heads yeah but no she's but she's i've seen her with lobster before where she's just extracting it's almost like surgery like she's yeah every bit of meat is coming out of that she's digging into the claws she just loves that effort that goes into does she like doing like a bit of butchery as well no she's never done that but it's kind of interesting if you're into that i say this as like someone with a vegetarian book who's largely largely a vegetarian chef but at cookery school i really enjoyed that precision when you're like here is a rabbit would you like to like very carefully dissect and i was like oh this is kind of interesting like i couldn't do it for a job like i'd be dreadful as a medical vet but i was like this is i can see like the technical precision here well i guess it is the opposite of being a butcher is the opposite of being a vet right

Speaker 1 well

Speaker 1 you've got to think so and this is like a sweeney todd style operation yeah

Speaker 1 one's upstairs one's downstairs and they send the rabbits down the shoot i will only eat meat that thinks it was having a haircut.

Speaker 1 Very, very beautiful. There's very few animals who have, I guess, you've mainly been eating poodles and like

Speaker 1 animals who are used to having a haircut. Yeah.
A sheep. A sheep.
Sheep, that's easy. That's yeah.
Absolutely easy. Also, a long tradition of eating sheep.
Yeah, yeah. So that's fine.
That's fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm selling my veggie book really well, aren't I? Yeah, yeah, no, this is going good, I think.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 1 but we took, yeah, we're teeing up the man-washing up book and you know you could also have some pictures of Ed eating shellfish without a bib on sellfish well you're really thirsty with sheep huh you're very thirsty

Speaker 1 catch me early in the morning

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Speaker 1 Your dream starter. Well, because my whole thing,

Speaker 1 like as a person who writes recipes for people, which are easy, I like restaurant food to be something I wouldn't make at home or wouldn't expect to make. to make for me.

Speaker 1 So I would like all of my starter to be a deep fried platter, please. Yes.
Because that's, it's a hassle to do at home. And deep fried food is delicious.

Speaker 1 And I want a sort of round-the-world platter of pakoras on one side, like really nice ones like cauliflower, aubergine, potato for double carbs, not onion bar juice, because they're grim. Okay.

Speaker 1 You know, they're all flowery and like they can go with the popped on in the video. Yeah, this, this is going back to your sort of dislike of going to a curry house, right? Yes.
Anglicized. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know, I know, but pakoras my mum makes every year for my birthday. So like, I know they're great.

Speaker 1 And I'll still have them like as many times as possible then zucchini fries i don't know why people call them zucchini instead of courgette is that what you call them in zucchini yeah uh courgette fries i think i think i've seen those on menus not really the zucchini is um in america

Speaker 1 but it just sounds fancier i think because courgette fries versus zucchini fritti yes sure zucchini fritti that's what i want i know here people don't like courgette here really do they most people don't like courgette and then if you cover it up by saying it's a zucchini yeah yes zucchini fritti yes delicious but really like the shoestring ones yeah not the like sometimes you order them and they've given you like fat chips which are courgette i don't want a fat courgette

Speaker 1 just like a really skinny one and then if i'm in the mood like i am quite actually quite hungry so i am in the mood uh some nice tempura prawns so i've got like a round-the-world fried platter and then you could compare like the different crunch levels with the different batters i think that would be oh we need to you like to compare crunch levels yeah you could be like oh look we've got like this grand flour batter on the pakoras and that's like got a certain kind of crisp and they've got the tempura batter with the sparkling probably sampell you know be yeah And would you get Sampellegrino in every single corner of this meal?

Speaker 1 Hashtag not sponsored. Would like to be sponsored.

Speaker 1 And would you score them? Score the crunch levels? You could, you could, sure. You could just stuff them in your face.

Speaker 1 I could stuff them in your face. Yes.
With the zucchini. Yes.
Often not a crunch on those. I think you'd have to have them like straight out the fire because, you know, you're right.
They steam.

Speaker 1 Well, a bit like cauliflower, like can have some steam inside a picora. So I think you need to kind of just, maybe you could fry them at table like a crepe Suzette.

Speaker 1 Yeah, be my pleasure because it's really safe to do deep frying right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, there should be more deep frying at the table. That would be fun.
That's an event, isn't it? If you went to a restaurant and they were like

Speaker 1 in the middle, like your lazy Susan with a deep fat fryer, and everyone has to wear goggles as well, yeah, and um, rubber like gloves and things, yeah, everything, yeah, yeah, that'd go well, I'd do it rise up from the beneath the table, so it goes down and yeah, it goes back down again after the course is finished, yeah, yeah, and then it can come back up later on and might be full of ice cream or

Speaker 1 fried ice cream, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a thing, right? Fried ice cream. I think people can do that.
Yeah, you can. Yeah.
Me and James watch a lot of shows normally on Netflix about sort of American fair ground food. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And fried ice cream is a thing. Deep Fried Masters.
Yeah. Interesting.
Deep Fried Masters, you might like because you've your starter. Yes, it's a farm.
But they don't really do...

Speaker 1 When you said a deep fried platter, because we watch Deep Fried Masters so much, I thought, wow, that's a trashy starter.

Speaker 1 And then you explained what it was, and I was like, oh, yeah, you don't get those on Deep Fried Masters, actually. I still feel like it's a slightly trashy starter.
No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 Well, I immediately thought of when I used to work in kitchens, we did the combo for two as the starter, which was all deep-fried.

Speaker 1 And that was like, you know, mushrooms, bread and mushrooms, deep-fried bread and mushrooms. I do really want to be.
I'm trying to guess the rest of them. This is quite exciting, actually.

Speaker 1 You've got one already. What other ones do you think are on there? The combo for two.
Combo mushrooms, chicken tenders. No, should have been.
Should have been.

Speaker 1 Didn't even have chicken tenders on there. No.
Onion rings? Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, what about an onion flower? Huh? The blooming onion. Oh, no, no.
This is not. This is like

Speaker 1 a chain place that has like a ball pool for kids and stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 1 One of the balls got in there as well. So deep-fried plastic.
Deep fried plastic ball. Deep fried plastic balls.

Speaker 1 Delicious. It looks like an onion flower.

Speaker 1 I do want to. Can we talk about the onion flower briefly? Because I'm absolutely obsessed with blooming onions.
Yes. And you don't see them in it.
You can swear it on this podcast. I googled.

Speaker 1 That is good stuff. I'll give you a little bit of stuff for that as well.

Speaker 1 The other day, genuinely the other day, i googled blooming onion uk because you don't find them maybe that's part of your calendar as well yeah me making a blooming onion you could pose with that as

Speaker 1 variation you're the last of the summer wine character

Speaker 1 about blooming onions outgrowing this year

Speaker 1 are you having any dips or anything with with these with these deep-fried things

Speaker 1 me with the dips

Speaker 1 i mean i quite like a really good homemade coyander tutany that would probably be good with the pakoras where it's a bit like if you you like that, then I don't think you should let us surprise with that because we would surprise me with the other side.

Speaker 1 There could be, I don't know, I don't think Tempeo Prawns really needed it. Definitely not sweet chili.
Just yeah, fuck sweet chili. We've said that on this podcast before.

Speaker 1 We've got a lot of grief for it. It's nice to have a professional chef back us on this.
Sweet chili is bullshit. Yeah, you might as well dip it in jam.
Why not just dip your strawberry jam?

Speaker 1 Which you would do, James. Yeah, but that's that's good.
Prawns in strawberry jam.

Speaker 1 I'd love to dip stuff in strawberry jam, but like

Speaker 1 sweet chili is

Speaker 1 the opposite. It's not good.
Yeah, it's really poor. So yeah, not that.
And then I don't think zucchini fritti need anything other than to be eaten immediately.

Speaker 1 They often come with like a mayo-y type dip. Yeah, maybe.
Yeah. Maybe.
Give it to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't matter. Save it for the breadsticks.
Yeah. But that sounds like a delicious starter.
Really good.

Speaker 1 Are you sharing this with people? Or is it just you? Oh, I could. You can share too.
You don't have to. No.
We've got a crab. As long as I've got enough.
Oh, of course. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think maybe as a magic restaurant, I wouldn't be too full. I could maybe polish off the whole platter and i'd still have room for extra stomachs like a cow

Speaker 1 dream main course dream main course i um so it's gonna sound a bit basic um salmon with hollandaise and asparagus which is like yeah whatever any chef can knock out hollandaise yeah boring boring asparagus seasonal boring i mean not boring tasty but what i would like because it's a magic restaurant is for this to taste like the first time i had it it when i was a teenager and it's this isn't one of those oh i didn't grow up having like because my mum like she knocks out a good bechamel like she knocks out like a decent homemade mayo and we probably did have asparagus at some point but we went on holiday and there was this salmon pasta thing on the menu and i i just remember taking one forkful and just going what is this like i'd never had holidays before and i was just like this is

Speaker 1 wash and it's just like this sort of like you know amazing moment like i asked like called the waiter over

Speaker 1 what's in this sauce? This sauce is amazing. And I actually asked the chef for the recipe.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, here's your own salmon, homo, sparrow, home and pasta. And like, they typed it out and like sent me home with it, which is really nice.
It was so sweet.

Speaker 1 And I've, you know, I've had holidays since. Like, I, I think even at university, I was like, my first dinner party.
I should recreate this from this chef menu.

Speaker 1 And it's never been quite the same because you didn't have that moment of like, I've never had anything this delicious before.

Speaker 1 So I would love that moment again. I think Hollandaise is a great example of that yeah like definitely the first time you have hollandaise is the best time you'll ever have it

Speaker 1 and then you definitely go through a phase of every time you see it on a menu you order it every time and then you you make yourself sick of it and then you don't really like it anymore yeah and then if you make it yourself you're just like i've used an entire pack of low pack here so right yeah yeah when you see what goes into it yeah yeah you don't want to see what goes into it is it just loads of butter it's yeah so you you know you put your egg yolk nigel's got a cheap version but you you basically like warm your egg yolks in a bammary and um um add like cube after with a little bit of vinegar like cube after cube of butter and and whisk continuously until it emulsifies and if you mess it up you can actually start it again with a fresh egg yolk and then like drip your messed up mixture on top of the fresh egg and it can take a lot of eggs apparently which is weird like you can almost do it infinitely with like the number of egg yolks that that same mess can contain but if you add you need to keep it cold so you can chuck in like a cube of ice if you need to but it will be beautiful and delicious but you just don't don't want to see it happen because

Speaker 1 this is so much butter and there's no point doing a light version with less butter just don't it's one of the only things and i love the idea of it but you know when you're like at brunch or something yeah and there's like eggs benedict and all of that eggs row i love the idea of it but every time i have it makes me feel ill yes i think it's eggs with with that eggs with eggs eggs on eggs with butter and it just always makes me feel sick yeah stupid it's it's a lot for breakfast yeah i think that's why it's nice with asparagus because that's quite a light, dippy, dippy bit to have.

Speaker 1 Love asparagus.

Speaker 1 Asparagus and salmon with some hollandaise sounds delicious. Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you say you want it to taste like the first time you had it. Yes.
There's a couple of ways we can do that. Yes.
We can either just create that taste

Speaker 1 or we can erase the memory of the first time you had it so you think you're having it for the first time again. Men in black.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take that.
Or

Speaker 1 what were those movies where someone's got memento, maybe? Memento, yeah.

Speaker 1 For that, we have to kill your wife.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, no, don't. Don't do that.
I'm really fond of her.

Speaker 1 Hang on. So you want the memory erased, but you want the tattoo to remind you that you have had it before.
How many times have I had my family and asparagus? You've got a savage

Speaker 1 Holland Day's tally chart going all the way down your

Speaker 1 lap. Just put an egg, yoke, a bamboo.

Speaker 1 And it keeps a button.

Speaker 1 It could take a lot of eggs.

Speaker 1 You could always, if you mess it up, you can reuse it.

Speaker 1 But I wouldn't have full sentences. I'd just have eggs on the inside of my elbow.
Eggs. What about eggs yolks? Yeah, Nigella.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You must find Nigella and ask her. I have a parlor void of Nigella with her name written on it.
If we were to do the men in black pen at you and the red light,

Speaker 1 what other things would you like us to erase from your memory? Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 You could chuck other things in there. Chucking other things in there.
I don't know. There could be meals, like meals you've had that you want to erase from your mind.

Speaker 1 Oh, I could erase poppadons, but then I might accidentally have them again yeah yeah you don't want to do that you need you need that experience in your life um what about that i think i've tasted many things i really have disliked like i generally like most food i'm not like my daughter who will take a home cooked meal and then like spit it out being like

Speaker 1 i was like right thanks well you could erase that roll spritz that you can do that again with your friend oh yeah yeah yeah maybe actually uh marlborough sauvignon blanc you could erase that then i might enjoy it again rather than be like had too much um that would be a nice one um but otherwise no i i food memories are pretty good i've always quite liked stuff i've eaten i think i just wouldn't eat it if i didn't want to you know if yeah uh like offal people do you want to try some tripe i was like i do not want to try tripe not to interested really love it you really are the high effort guy yeah tripe's delicious oh man i love the texture i love that other people think it's disgusting so i can be the tripe guy

Speaker 1 there's a kiosk there i like that i see that slight taste of farmyard yeah that's what truffle's for truffle will do that for me

Speaker 1 yeah but everyone likes truffle so how am i gonna seem like a big tough guy yeah that's true that's true even pigs like truffle man yeah exactly you can tell them why you don't like tripe don't just take that from him his little monologue i just think the concept concept of tripe i'm yeah off just offal generally i'm not although i was quite experimental when i was when i got into kind of food and i was you know so i didn't used to always do food i used to be a lawyer and i was like that's like hated my life and i was like let's be experimental let's try and cook some lamb sweet breads you know so i did i did try i was just like you know it's just not as nice as the effort it was to make this nice there's someone else on the podcast who's become a chef after but

Speaker 1 yeah barrister sorry yeah right i knew it was someone but i would never would have guessed it was her she's mad

Speaker 1 i think i'm definitely seeing a meme about pastry chefs being like half of them are ex-lawyers who just decided to be pastry chefs interesting

Speaker 1 why do you think that is because i hate their lives

Speaker 1 they have to go into pastry yeah yeah pretty much they're the soothing piles of whipped cream it's just you know wow very nice for the brain What was the biggest case you did as a lawyer?

Speaker 1 Oh, oh, God, I was only a baby lawyer. I finished like a training contract.
And then literally, instead of qualifying, I went to cookery school. Oh, okay.
Like straight off the bat.

Speaker 1 I was hoping you'd be in like a huge one, like an OJ or something. No, no, nothing that exciting, I'm afraid.
When you said baby lawyer, it gave me a great idea for a new cartoon. Baby Law.

Speaker 1 Boss Baby. Baby Lawyer.
But you do expertise. Yeah, similar to Boss Baby, actually.
Yes, basically that, but the spin-off version with the lawyer is a boss lawyer. Boss Baby's lawyer.

Speaker 1 That's good. Yeah, that's not a good idea.
It's a courtroom drama cartoon of a baby. Most toddlers are like expert negotiators.

Speaker 1 I actually, you know, if we're trying to bribe her to do something, which my husband doesn't like me doing, it's like,

Speaker 1 if you get in the buggy, you can have a chocolate button. She's like, two chocolate buttons.

Speaker 1 Okay. So maybe, like Judge Judy, but Judge Baby.
Judge Baby. Judge Baby.
Judge Baby. With like kids.
The cases are all kids. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they stole my sweets or whatever. And then the judge is a baby too.

Speaker 1 But, you know, the sentencing could be pretty harsh as well. Yeah, it could be.
Yes,

Speaker 1 every time you are sentenced to death, every time it's whatever must have died, it could be worse. They could make you go to a soft place centre.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, yeah, that'd be pretty with a deep-fried ball.

Speaker 1 By the way, the gavel is a squeaky hammer as well. Oh, yeah, gotta be a squeaky gavel, yes,

Speaker 1 every time it makes a little squeaky noise,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah, softens it, doesn't it? If they're sentenced to death,

Speaker 1 your Your dream side dish.

Speaker 1 Can I have two? Yeah. Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 So Dauphin Noise, because I like to double carb, because Dauphinois is really great.

Speaker 1 Actually, I used to make that if I'd had like a day in the office, which I hated because I do hate my office and life there.

Speaker 1 I'd come home, buy a load of potatoes and the cream on the way home and make myself a double carb dinner of a tray of roast potatoes and a tray of dauphinois. Wow.
Yeah. You love double carbs.

Speaker 1 You shouted out a few times. Yeah, it's a very Indian thing, actually, double carbs.

Speaker 1 You know, having like a potato curry and rice or having a like potato bakoras, even bread pakoras, my mum has been known to talk about.

Speaker 1 I don't see anything wrong with double carbing, but now with my sophisticated palate, I would quite like some greens on the side as well. I've gone full circle from like never having anything green.

Speaker 1 I think at university, friends would sort of put, you know, put broccoli in a pigment. You don't have to eat your broccoli if you don't want it.
It's like I am, 22 years old.

Speaker 1 But now I love it. I can't get enough.
Tenderstem, love it. Kale.
Kales are funny one. So I've got like a weekly Guardian Foost column.

Speaker 1 And whenever I do a recipe with kale which is quite often because I love it like I tend not to look at the comment section but if I do about half of it's like kale again hate kale can't stand it's like guys grow up it had a moment like five years ago kale was everywhere right and everyone everyone was getting annoyed with kale maybe they need the memory erase again I think people overdid it or they don't do it properly yeah and it's like almost like you know you have thick stems in it as well

Speaker 1 you won't trim it properly and then it became connected I think with with like uh health health health stuff vloggers and things like that so it became like you don't want it in a smoothie that would be no and that's what people that's what people were doing so i think they connected kale with with like you know californian uh californian health influences and obviously people hate those people so yes it's true i got really i got really into kale big time delicious but like covering it in oil putting it in the oven and basically making kale crisps okay that sounds a little bit healthy

Speaker 1 no i mean crisp is a crisp kale is not a crisp yeah but you put loads of seasoning on it and stuff. Delicious.
With crisps. I'd eat them with crisps.
I was going to say double cream. Nice.

Speaker 1 So, you know, like if you soften it with garlic and chili and a bit of lemon zest with your olive oil and then or butter actually. And then just like a little bit of cream through it before you serve.

Speaker 1 That does sound good. Really, really nice.
Both of those sound nice. I like both of those guys.
I like both those. My daughter's like.

Speaker 1 And I can pretend it's like a vegetable that she's eating, not just a piece of char.

Speaker 1 Guardian comments section is an absolute fucking binge.

Speaker 1 Absolute bunch of idiots. All of them.
Well, comment section in general. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just, I never comment on anything.
Like, if I'm online and I read an article about something, it's very rare that I would write a comment.

Speaker 1 I mean, no, I don't think I've ever written a comment. You might comment, but you'll do it like a normal person in your own head.
A bitch from my husband, yeah, yeah, or talk to somebody next to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just write it.
Yeah, I just don't, I don't know. I suppose it's always nice when people are like, oh, no, I really like this.

Speaker 1 Like, you want enough people who like things to comment. It's just your negative Nancy's, kind of that.
Crazy if they complain, like, what can I get?

Speaker 1 And And it's like, no one's making you cook this every week. They make it.
You absolutely like you're on the internet.

Speaker 1 There's infinite recipes on the internet. So why don't you just find something else that isn't kale? Why are you complaining?

Speaker 1 You don't have to, oh, I have to eat whatever's in the Guardian column every single week. Yes.
All those right-wing people who hate the Guardian should just look in the comments

Speaker 1 and then they'll go, oh, it's okay. People who read The Guardian are just like me.
Yeah, they hate The Guardian too. Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, they hate kale, they hate it.

Speaker 1 So you've got the Dauphinoirs, and then how what? Dauphinois, the kale, and then maybe just some like nice buttered cabbage.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, when it's like not overcooked, just like your bog standard cabbage, but like it's still got a little bit of bite, butter, and maybe some like crushed Sichuan peppercorns. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 Makes it really nice, but not too many. You know, Sichuan peppercorns, it's the kind of thing where, like, oh, I love them.
So is more, more, isn't it more? No, it's like two.

Speaker 1 You can put two peppercorns in there, and that'll do it. There's too many, your mouth just sort of

Speaker 1 goes numb for like several hours. Goes bald.
So just a tiny bit. Do you want the creamy kale? Oh, oh, no, you're right.
Maybe we'll, we'll cut the cream since we've got the dauphinoise.

Speaker 1 Let's be sensible. You can, you know, and they're next to each other.
You can always introduce a bit of the dauphinoise cream to the kale. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. On the table on the table.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No one's going to stop. Mix it all together.
Be delicious. Thank you.
That does sound good. And I think that goes with the salmon as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it doesn't. I suppose the dauphin was maybe a bit heavy to go with my handmade pasta and all the rest of it with the salmon.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I've got infinite stomachs, apparently, in your restaurant. Congratulations.
Thank you.

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Speaker 3 Be 21.

Speaker 1 Your dream drink?

Speaker 1 It's a nice glass of white wine, probably.

Speaker 1 Maybe sparkling, maybe. I love how you pretended like you hadn't really thought about that and you landed on it, just in case your sister's listening to this episode.

Speaker 1 Just in case, just using it.

Speaker 1 Some more sparkling water, I suppose. I'd have wine with every meal.

Speaker 1 Actually, sparkling water and red wine are a really nice combo. I had that a lot.
Can I flex about my job before I was like,

Speaker 1 so I went into food, like I was did, did the law, and then i was a food stylist or like a home ech for like quite a lot of years and that's how i got into kind of cooking and had the idea for these the uh timber what's a food stylist food stylist so you know whenever you see uh food on a billboard in a cookbook on telly or

Speaker 1 someone has cooked it yeah and it's usually not nigella or jamie or anyone like you've got someone in who's cooked all the food thinks about how it's going to look on the plate like maybe got a pair of tweezers if necessary to like make it nice but actually it's generally just you've just made a really nice plate of food put it in front of of the camera, and it's been shot really quickly.

Speaker 1 So it's really different from like back in the, you know, if you think about like the Panasonic microwave cookery book from 1975, it's got this bronzed chicken that looks like it's been sitting for three days under a load of varnish, like ron seal.

Speaker 1 It had because you've got all the lights and it's really hot under the cameras and it's got to sit there. But nowadays, everything's digital.
So you just shoot it.

Speaker 1 And like David Loftus, who does all the photos for my books, like everything looks so beautiful and fresh, like you could put your hand in and pick it up because you could when he took the photo and the fresher it looks like it's because it was there's not a lot of magic unless you're in commercials which is different but I got a really random job the designer on my books uh Penny like she's amazing she sent me a message like oh Minnie I've got offer for a job it's in Morocco doing film um do you want to come and I was like well that sounds quite exciting like do it so not not the food like not catering but like the food they would eat in a dinner party scene in the film and I was like oh baby like do you know what there's only one actor who would take me out to morocco if there's a like like if ray finds in it i'll do it and he's like he actually is i was like you're

Speaker 1 matt smith's in it jessica chastain was in it

Speaker 1 and i found myself like in morocco like in the desert like handing over a plate of food to like matt smith handing over a plate of food to ray finds like who's and it's nuts because because it's film you have to have as much food as you think you know the director is not going to tell you how many takes he doesn't know how many takes he's going to do and you have to magically you want your genie lamp really have as much as they're going to need for every single take yeah otherwise you're just and i think i handed over the food on my first hunt i was my hands were actually shaking just being like don't mess it up don't mess it up and then rafe finds it straight in the eye lord feldemore and he's like you did really well there

Speaker 1 Thank you so much,

Speaker 1 which helps because Jessica Chastain wouldn't eat any of my food.

Speaker 1 She was just like, is this vegan? And I was like, oh, yes, you know, it's like, and she didn't trust me.

Speaker 1 She got them to bring her some like steamed broccoli from the from her trailer uh but matt smith really liked the food he was like why why aren't we getting food like this in our hotels and i was like just he's asking for another take

Speaker 1 no yeah oh sorry guys i messed my lines up my my red so in our downtime my red wine and sparkling water thing was we had a lot of you know sort of free time when you're not

Speaker 1 on set and penny and i would just like sit in this amazing riyad courtyard bottle of red bottle of sparkling water i'd just be like Is this real? So do you want this? This is your dream drink then?

Speaker 1 The red wine and sparkling water? Oh, I think it would remind me of that. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe I'll take that

Speaker 1 together. Being there.
With the courtyard sunshine. Do you want Fiennes and Smith to join you? Not Chatstones.
You want to eat the food?

Speaker 1 I'm not sure. I think I'd probably be too nervous to talk to them.

Speaker 1 You know, like that thing, I think I read it in Romantic Comedy, Curtis Sittonfield's newish book. She writes that like with famous people, people don't actually want to talk to them.

Speaker 1 They want to tell their friends that they've talked to them.

Speaker 1 So if you have an encounter with a famous person, you're quite likely to be like, oh, wow, selfie, and then run away because then you can tell your mates, because if you had to actually have a conversation, you'd probably say something really stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So they can't, they can't come.
I just get to like, sort of like, maybe spy on them for another table. Like, look, there's celebs at that table.
Yeah. So yeah, finds nearby.
Nearby, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite film with him in? Oh, well, the menu was really good. It was really scary.
But I'm going to go classic old school English patient. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, I changed my, I changed my mind, Grand Buddha Pest Hotel, because it's really funny. Great, great film.
It's really, it's much more funny.

Speaker 1 English patient doesn't have a lot lot of laughs in it. No, to be fair, it's not very funny English patient.
It's not very funny, it's quite intense. What about this?

Speaker 1 Would it be better if the main character was a baby? Just like the baby lawyer, but like the English baby?

Speaker 1 The English baby crashing a plane in the desert. Yes.
Yeah, maybe not. Would crash it, to be fair.
That's believable. Maybe it'd be a better pilot.
That baby being a bad pilot.

Speaker 1 That plane crashing in the desert. And how about this? The grand baby pest hotel.

Speaker 1 I see a franchise opportunity. This is brilliant.

Speaker 1 Actors with babies. I think that works.
Or just Fiennes every time. Yeah.
As a baby. For no reason.
Ray Fiennes gets replaced by a baby every single time.

Speaker 1 Lord Voldemort as a baby.

Speaker 1 Volder baby. Yeah, Voldemy.

Speaker 1 I mean, that would be, you know, then that would be like when people say if you go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby, would you do it? It was Voldemort. So

Speaker 1 that's the answer to that question. You find Harry Potter in that situation of going, well, you tried to kill me as a baby.
Actually, that's true. But then there's no more books.
That's it.

Speaker 1 It's finished.

Speaker 1 finished voldemort tried to kill how the parser's baby comes around you go back and kill lord voldemort wait no but that's that's the cursed child isn't it that like but it all makes it no i've not seen it oh i've got another red wine combo for you

Speaker 1 so when i went to see the cursed child with my mate uh she brought his birthday present for me we had haribo fantastic and you know rubbish theatre red wine and they go together so well that's cool yes there's a there's someone on instagram who does

Speaker 1 oh no i've got mixed up it's not wine it's cheese combinations with weird things. Okay, because I would hope cheese and wine.

Speaker 1 I think they did like Haribo and cheese.

Speaker 1 Can you remember what it was? No. Ed, this is the worst thing you've ever bought.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 because you know, if you think about like membryo with a mantego, yeah, I'm thinking you got your jeans.

Speaker 1 No, it sounds great because the Ed has bought something that was A wrong, it wasn't even related to what you were saying, and then he forgot what it was as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like, oh no, it's not wine, it's cheese. Can you remember what it was? No,

Speaker 1 sorry, you got that.

Speaker 1 I feel like like an old man today he's a little old mad head opposite of a baby yeah you would be the baby's nemesis we should remake this episode with me as a baby yeah so we're having the san pellegrino and the red wine together yes do you also want the tang fastics there yeah why not yes we'll have a little side of tang fastics too i haven't had tang fastics since i was in um a train derailing have you not

Speaker 1 last time i had them that is quite a memory train train came off the tracks and uh jesus it's pretty full on and we were we were there for like five hours and and all that the train staff did was sent one of their employees down all the aisles with a packet of tang fastics asking people if they wanted a tank fastic and by the time it got to me and Josh Whittaker back in the carriage they only had like the rubbish ones left and we were absolutely gone wow so have you avoided tang fastics because it's it reminds you of the dramatic

Speaker 1 I just think what's the point yeah let's get the bad ones so yeah no should we delete your memory of the train crash yeah yeah and then you can have tang fastics again quite a good memory because it makes me glad to be alive yes So, maybe remove the tang fastics parts.

Speaker 1 I would like to enjoy them, yeah, yeah, yeah, and marble cake. I haven't had that since that because they said the buffet cabbage is free, but they didn't man it, there's no one there.

Speaker 1 So, it was just free-for-all with marble cake, so you just used well by the time again, by the time we got there, it was only marble cake left.

Speaker 1 Wow, you know, it wasn't we still ate it, but Benito's looking at me like you've told this story before. I'm going to add it out, so move on.

Speaker 1 Your dream dessert, we arrive at your dream dessert, which is exciting for me. Well, it's a bit basic to always kind of go for the chocolate option.
You know,

Speaker 1 chocolate. But I mean, I do quite like it.
And I will generally go for it. And I don't always have room.
I'm more of a starter person. So there's often not room for a chocolate dessert.

Speaker 1 The correct way to be. Well, not yes.

Speaker 1 But since I've got my infinite stomachs, I want some kind of chocolate dessert. Maybe you can help me create it.

Speaker 1 It's got some kind of like chocolate cake and then some kind of chocolate mousse. And then I really love raspberry and passion fruit with chocolate.

Speaker 1 I think it's the nicest combination and you don't see it enough on menus in cookbooks i can remedy that but i really like it and i want some kind of maybe like chocolate mousse cake that's a bit like a sierra lie but but nice and uh raspberry layer passion fruit layer maybe some like shaved chocolate on top something like that well let's come up with something and then you can put it in your next cookbook yes what sort of cake a light cake a brownie layer no i'm not not a not so like a sponge

Speaker 1 a sponge, but more like a restaurant sponge.

Speaker 1 You know, when it's like a little bit of a dense sponge, not like a nice homemade Victoria sponge, like more of a kind of a denser kind of sponge that would stand up to being layered with your like moussey layers.

Speaker 1 And do you want super light mousse or like a thick mousse?

Speaker 1 Medium. Medium mouse.
Dark chocolate, milk chocolate. Well, I guess there'd be the raspberry and the passion fruit ones.
Or the mousse are the moose. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like raspberry and passion fruit mousse.
And you go in cake mousse, cake, mousse? Yeah, something like cake mouse, cake, mousse. How many times?

Speaker 1 because this is a dream my favourite my favourite model is cake moose

Speaker 1 cake moose cake moose great model yeah she used to go out with pete dodotsy oh no that's dreadful well her her brother does run a uh ban me stand in goes around the markets in london cake moose's brother yeah sells ban me i didn't know that yeah yeah he's got like a van with ban me in it and sells it obviously it's just like mine

Speaker 1 have a look at this well good on him yeah yeah Yeah. It's just quite random.
He looks quite a lot like her as well. Does he?

Speaker 1 If you want doing a celeb thing, we're like, oh, look, that guy looks a bit like Case Moss. And he's selling.
I mean, let's not talk to him. Cake Moose Cake.
Cake Moose. Cake Moose.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 Cake Moose is their name.

Speaker 1 Yeah, how many times? Because this is a dream restaurant, so we could do like 60. Yeah, you could do it as many times as you wanted.

Speaker 1 No, I just think like a reasonable amount so you can get a bit of each on your fork. Because I don't have an infinite fork or an infinite mouth.
So just like, just the right size for...

Speaker 1 Could give you infinite fork. Infinite fork would be a pain in the ass, man.
Infinite fork would be

Speaker 1 how you yeah how long like tiramisu spoon but you know wrong how are you getting anything on the end of the fork if it's infinitely long yeah yeah that's hard well no everything would have to be infinite and then we end up i don't know if this world even makes sense no no no it doesn't so you you're what four or five on the layers yeah and then how thick are the layers uh

Speaker 1 a couple of centimeters like so like i think the cake's got to be one centimeter and you've got two for the moose and then one for the cake and then two for the moose yeah two for the moose one for the cake and then maybe the lowest layer could be some kind of chocolate moose as well so maybe there's three kinds of mousse, one kind of cake, chocolate shavings on top.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
So it sounds like you should have three layers of the mousse. Yes.
So bam bam bam. Yep.
And then that means you've got three layers of the cake. Yep.

Speaker 1 Because the moose is on the top, is it? I guess. The top layer is the moose.
The top top layers could be some kind of moose, yeah. And then you're covering all that in chocolate as well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like really, like really nicely like shaved. So it's like quite shardy, like the crisp

Speaker 1 mousse. Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm going for. Sounds nice.
What are we calling it? Cake mousse. Cake mousse.
Yeah. Cake mousse?

Speaker 1 And just that you don't want, there's is there any like cream or any any sort of like uh drizzle going over it or anything like that

Speaker 1 you don't need it you got all the moisture in the cake mousse yes it's yes so this it's the cake moose dessert which is your dessert and if anyone tries to steal it and put it in their cookbook we can all sue them we've got if we bring the baby lawyer to the baby lawyer's coming it's my cake to the court case yeah take them on go and it's a baby judge as well well so the baby judge is there baby jeosejo and whoever steals the recipe is being sentenced to death yeah they're all getting sentenced to death if they steal cake mousse

Speaker 1 well i will try and recreate it and then we can have a picture as well. Yeah.
Yeah. Me and you could do the picture if you're making it and then the washing up.

Speaker 1 Ed is washing up all the stuff you used to make it. This does sound like quite high effort.
You've got a lot of bowls for these mooses and there will be a lot of washing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I've already established this guy. Love effort.
Yeah, I love it. I love the washing up.
There. I'll envision menu back to you now.
See how you feel about it. Okay.

Speaker 1 You want Sam Pellegrino, sparkling water. Yep.
You would like... Pandepi? Yes.
A fluffy cube.

Speaker 1 Just like an Englishman in a boulingerie trying to read the renu behind the person working there. Panda pee! It's called a boulangerie.

Speaker 1 You'd be like a deep-fried platter.

Speaker 1 You've got pakora, zucchini fry, zucchini fritti, tempura prawns, a homemade coriander chutney, mancourse salmon with hollandaise and asparagus, like the first time you ever had it.

Speaker 1 Side dish, dauphinoise, kale and buttered cabbage with crust Sechuan peppercorns, not too many.

Speaker 1 Drink red wine and sparkling water like you had when you were doing The Forgiven and with a side of Hammerbow tang fasting. Yes, yes,

Speaker 1 Cake Moose. Cake Mousse.
Amazing. Sounds great.
Starving. That's good.
I mean, it does sound nice.

Speaker 1 When you came in today, before we went in, you said, oh, I think my menu won't be very coherent, but I think it's. I think it's very coherent.
Oh, thank you very much. We have a lot worse.

Speaker 1 Ah, yes, I know.

Speaker 1 We have the comedians on. Yes, exactly.
That sounds absolutely delicious. What's Cake Moose's nickname? What? Who Was Called the Body? That was just Giselle, Giselle, I think.
Wasn't Giselle the body?

Speaker 1 Benito, Google Who Was Called the Body. I know we're about to wrap it up, but it wasn't Cake Moose, wasn't it? That might have been Giselle.
El McPherson.

Speaker 1 Damn it. Has that ruined a joke that you were going to do? No.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Rook Mini.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 There we are. Wonderful menu from Rookmini there.
Very nice menu. Lovely stories.
I'd love to learn about food stylists

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 about the film that she worked on with

Speaker 1 all the celebs. And a lot of silly business as well in that episode, James.
No, no, it's all very serious. Ah, yes.
Very serious. Some serious ideas for TV shows.

Speaker 1 Rookmini also did not say beef jerky, so she was allowed to complete her menu.

Speaker 1 And that has also allowed us to plug her book again. The green cookbook is out now.
And you got a little insight into the sorts of recipes that are in there during the chat.

Speaker 1 It's just made me even more excited to cook from it. I'm quite excited about the crispy roast tofu and aubergine with chili peanut sauce as well.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I love aubergine. Your broccoli pesto you're going to make.
Yeah. We found what we're going to do with the heads.
Finally, we did it.

Speaker 1 And now, I'd say we're back next week, but we're actually going to replace ourselves with babies for next week. Yes,

Speaker 1 it's the off-menu baby edition next week

Speaker 1 where they don't get kicked out of the dream restaurant, they get sentenced to death. Yes.

Speaker 1 Thank you very much for listening. We've been Ed Gamble and James A.
Castor on the Off Menu podcast. Shout out Cake Moss.
Cake Moose. Oh, you mess it up.

Speaker 1 Bye. Bye.

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Speaker 2 November is all about gathering: friends giving feasts, Thanksgiving dinners, and football weekends.

Speaker 2 With the lowest prices for over 30 years, you'll always find what you love and love what you find only at Total Wine and More. Curbside pickup and delivery available in most areas.

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Speaker 13 Hello, I'm Lucy Beaumont.

Speaker 1 And I'm Sam Campbell, as a matter of fact.

Speaker 14 Perfect Brains is one of the most enchanting podcasts. The effect it has on people is astounding.

Speaker 13 That is what we've heard, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 14 This changes people's lives.

Speaker 13 If you had to sum it up, how would you sum it up?

Speaker 14 An in-depth look at sumo wrestling and the scandals. Because it used to be considered so honourable, like sumos and they all live together, sumos.

Speaker 13 No two podcasts are the same. Do you remember that one where I just messaged loads of Derek's? I don't think people know that.
I emailed a hundred Derek's.

Speaker 1 I don't think it was Derek's. I thought it was Brian.
I'm so brian.

Speaker 14 Yeah, Lucy emailed every Brian on Facebook.

Speaker 13 Our podcast is out every Friday, so it's really easy to remember. It's like if you've got an office job, it's the first day you feel alive again.

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